01x02 - Cane Crazy/Flood, Sweat and Tears

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[frogs croaking]

Wow, Anne, look at all your cool stuff!

What's this? Ah, I get it. t*rture device.

That's a toenail clipper.

Oh, OK, OK, sure.

Oh! How about this? What does this do?

[muffled] It's painful.

[air hissing]

Oh, and this.

Oh, I love this.

This is amazing.

You know what? You can keep it.

-[bell clanging]
-[Hop Pop] Kids! Chow time!

[all together]
Time to eat! Time to eat!

-Hold on, you kids. Hold on.
-Time to eat!

Ugh!

Uh, you know what?

I think I'm gonna pass.

Why? Is my food not good enough
for the princess?

Well, if I'm the princess, then you're
the king of bad cooking. [chuckles]

-Ohh!
-Oh oh oh!

Oh, yeah? Well, you... I...

What's the matter, Hop Pop?
Frog in your throat?

-[Polly] Ohhh!
-Oh, she got you again!

Oh, dang it!

You know what? I'm gonna take a nap.

I don't believe this.

I feed you, I house you,
and this is how you repay me?

If you don't shape up soon, Anne,
I'm throwin' you out!

Yeesh. What's his problem?

I'm Hop Pop, and I cook bad
and have a temper problem!

-[laughing]
-That's so Hop Pop!

Eat your aphids, don't play with them.

-Elbows off the table!
-[both laughing]

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother
putting up with you at all!

[gasp]

Oopsies. Guess I don't know
my own strength, right, guys?

You guys OK?

What's the big deal? It's just one cane.

That wasn't just any cane.

It was Hop Pop's special cane,

passed down from his father,
Hop Poppity Pop,

all the way from his father,
Hop-and-Lock-Drop Soppity Pop.

Oh! You guys gotta help me.

He's gonna kick me out the second
he finds out about this.

I cannot go back to living in a cave!

[thunderclap]

[insects squeaking]

Uhhh! The nights were the hardest.

Don't worry, Anne.
We'll do whatever it takes to help you.

-Eh, count me out.
-Polly!

What? I hardly know her.

Would you help me for one of these?

[gasps] Candy from another world?

Lady, you've got yourself a deal.

Glad to hear it.
Now, let's try to save my skin.

[all] Yeah!

OK, maybe we can't fix it,
but someone else can?

Someone good with, wood?

Anne, you're a genius!

We'll just take it to Leopold Loggle,
the woodsmith.

He loves wood. Almost a little too much.

Uh-huh.

Oh, oh, yes.

Well, aren't you fascinating?
Yes, you are.

Can you fix it?

As a matter of fact, I can... not.

Huh. Can you make a new one?

Absolutely... no way.

Do you have one we could buy?

Of course I do... n't.

-I don't.
-Why do you keep doing that?

Old smithing accident.
You don't want to know.

-Uh, OK, so--
-Tripped on an anvil.

Landed neck-first on a metal pipe.

Pierced my voice box clean through!

-Blegh!
-Dude, come on!

Cool.

Switched over to wood after that.

Anyhow, I'm afraid
I can't do much for you.

That cane was made with wood
from the incredibly rare,

extremely dangerous, Doom Tree!

-[all gasp]
-Few have made it to the Doom Tree alive,

fewer yet returned.

It holds many secrets
that mortals dare not--

Dude, it's a tree.
Just tell us where it is.

Yeah, Loggle, cut the chitchat!

You're bald!

OK, OK.

I got a map to the Doom tree right here,

-but it'll cost ya.
-Click.

Or you could do that, for free.

Come on, guys. We gotta hurry.

Hop Pop could wake up at any second!

[both] Right!

Be careful, you kids.

It's cursed, I tell ya. Cursed!

[Anne] To the Doom tree, everyone.

-[Polly] Whoo-hoo!
-[Sprig] Yeah!

Whoa, Loggle.
We gotta talk about this, man.

We're comin' back.
We're gonna talk about this.

All right, good-bye.

[beeping]

[tires screech]

[beeping continues]

[bird screeches]

[buzzing]

[grunting]

Hold up. We're here.

Now, that is an ugly tree.

Just one of Mother Nature's
horrible mistakes.

[chuckles] Frogs d*ed here.

Look. That branch is perfect.

[Anne grunting]

You people and your legs.

[grunting]

[spitting]

Careful. The tree is cursed.

Pfft! [both laughing]

OK, seriously though, on three.

One, two...

[shrieking]

Uh, did the tree just scream?

-[Doom Tree roars]
-[Sprig] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

[grunts]

[roars]

[roaring]

Oh, hey, it's maple.

Run!

[all screaming]

[shrieking]

That thing is not a tree.
It's some kind of grody bug!

[Sprig] A bug that wants to k*ll us!

Less talky-talky, more runny-runny!

[roaring]

[grunting] Whoa!

[grunts]

[shrieking]

[groaning]

[screaming]

-[grunting]
-[panting]

[shrieking]

[sighs] Well, Loggle, another day,
another step closer to bankrupt-- Eh?

[Anne shouts]

[roaring]

What the... What's going on?

Don't ask questions!

-[all scream]
-[Doom Tree roars]

[all screaming]

What's it gonna take to get rid
of this thing? [grunts]

-[shrieking]
-[grunting]

[bell rings] Oh, this is nice.

[grunts]

That took years to carve.

[shrieks]

[puzzled shriek]

Yah! Yah, yah, yah, yah, yah!

And that! And that!

Hi-yah!

[grunts] Charge!

Charge!

[squealing]

I'm gonna sand your face!

Phew.

Termites! Why would a woodsmith
have termites?

I'm a complicated man!

Incoming!

-[squeals]
-[grunts]

-Uh...
-Cool.

This world is messed up.

[whimpering]

-Up top!
-We did it!

That was awesome, you guys!

Now, let's get this cane back to Hop Pop.

Give me that!

-Hey!
-What gives, Loggle?

I'll tell you what gives.

This doesn't even begin to cover
the damages you've caused to my shop.

You're gonna have to give me
something else.

Come on. Pony up.

[sigh] Will this work?

What? What is this, uh...

[clicking]

Oh.

Oh!

I like this.

You can go.

Sorry, Anne.

After all we worked for too.

It's OK. We'd better head home.

Hop Pop's probably
already awake and furious.

Probably a bad time to bring this up,
but I still get the candy, right?

[yawns] Whoa, boy. I needed that.

Hope nothing happened while
I was asleep to make me mad again.

Oh, no.

What did you do?

What's up with canes?

Who even needs them these days,
am I right? Ow.

[sighs] I'm really sorry, Hop Pop.

I was goofing around,
and I broke your favorite cane.

You what?

I know, I know. I'll show myself out.

We'll come visit you, Anne.

We promise.

[crying] And just when
I was starting to like you!

Don't make this harder than it is.

[frogs bawling]

What the... What's going on?

You're throwing me out.

-You know, like you said you would.
-[sighs] Mmm.

Anne, truth be told,

I was never gonna throw you out.

I was just talking tough so that
you'd show me a little bit more respect.

That's kinda messed up, man.

[laughs, inhales]

Yeah. I probably was
a little bit too harsh.

But I only did it because you remind me
of myself when I was your age.

Rough around the edges.

Now, put that bag down, young lady.
You're not going anywhere.

Whoo! Yeah!

-I like that.
-I wasn't worried.

Thanks, Hop Pop.

-So you're not mad about the cane?
-Oh, I'm furious about the cane.

You're on dish duty for a month!

Ugh. Yes, sir!

Now that that's settled,

I wrote a long list of comebacks

to get you back for this morning.
[clears throat]

"Hey, Anne,

is that your hair, or is it a dandelion?"

Ha. [sniffles]

Uh... Ooh.

Are those long, lanky limbs, Anne,
or are those, uh, twigs?

[chuckles]

[coughs]

The moment has passed, hasn't it?

[frogs croaking]

You ready?

You set 'em up, and I'll knock 'em down!

OK.

[grunting]

Come on. Come on!

[rumbling]

[Sprig] Coming at ya!

[buzzing]

Backhand!

[buzzing]

Nice swing.

I was on varsity.

I have no idea what that means.

-[both laughing]
-[concertina playing]

A frog child and a monster
from the woods getting along?

-So unnatural.
-[plays note]

Pssh! Of course we get along!

-We're Sprig and Anne.
-Anne and Sprig!

[both] Spranne against the world!

-Disgusting!
-[resumes playing]

[screaming]

Was that Hop Pop?

Sounds like he's in trouble.

We're coming, Hop Pop!

Hop Pop! Hop Pop!

Whoa! What happened in here?

Hop Pop?

[screaming] Stay back!

Darned burrow bugs
must have chewed the water pipes!

My room! My stuff!

Don't worry, Anne. I saved your stuff.

Except your bed and your blankets.

And your pillow, pencils,
T-shirts, hairbrush.

Just how long till it's fixed?

Well, gotta find the leak,
then patch it up good.

Oh, let me help!

Oh, no, ya don't! This here's river water.

No tellin' what creepy critters
are swimmin' around.

Uh, so where am I gonna sleep?

Well, the living room ain't no palace,
but the couch is comfy.

Uh, hello! Bleh!

Anne can bunk with me in my room.
How fun will that be?

Roommates? Heck yeah!

I don't know.

Bein' friends is one thing, but roommates?

You think you know someone
until they're in your space

and you're in theirs,

and you can't stand
how they whistle all the time,

and they complain whenever
you clean your web crusties out.

Yes, I have to do it in our room!
It has the best lighting!

My point is...

And they're gone.

Mark my words though,

no good will come of this.

No good at all.

Here we have it.

Whoa.

Awesome digs, Sprig.

Thanks. I'll give you the grand tour.

Let's start with the crown jewels.

Oh, cool. A doll collection.

[chuckles] No.

[grunting] These are my action figures
of the Great Battle of--

[Anne] Incoming!

-Ooh, sorry, dude.
-What was that?

What? Haven't you ever
had a pillow fight before--

-Heads up!
-Oh, it's on!

[both laughing]

It's fun 'cause it doesn't hurt!

-Ow!
-[laughs]

Oops! Just gonna move General Bogbreath
safely over here.

Yeah, gotta keep that doll
out of harms way-- Ooh!

Time in!

[both laughing]

So, Sprig, would you rather sweat
melted cheese or always smell like skunk?

Uh, sweat melted cheese.

Frogs don't sweat, so I'd be cheese-free.

Frogs don't sweat? Uh, jealous!
OK, next question. Sprig?

-[snoring]
-Psst! Sprig? Sprig?

Sprig? Sprig, Sprig, Sprig. Hey, Sprig!

-[gasps]
-You awake?

Oh, yeah, totally.

OK, good. So, next question.

[crickets chirping]

Mm! Uh! Melting.

Ah, better.

Uh, freezing.

[yawns]

Rise and shine, sleepyheads!
You missed breakfast!

[both groaning]

Go away.

Hoo!

First time I've ever seen you
sleep in so late. What gives?

I froze solid in the night
and finally just thawed.

What? It was like a swamp sauna in here.

Maybe Sprig just needs another blanket.

Or maybe Anne needs fewer blankets.

Or maybe...

The couch is still free
in case there's trouble in paradise.

No way. Pssh. It's no trouble.

Yeah. We're the best roommates
in the history of roommates.

[both] Spranne against the world!

After you, best roomie.

Why, thank you, also best roomie.

Hmm.

-They're gonna eat each other alive.
-Oh, absolutely.

[crunching]

[crunching]

[croaking]

[croaking]

Bleh!

[Anne crunching]

[grunting]

Ew.

Whoa!

[both chuckling]

Is that my shirt?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hey, Hop Pop.
How much longer, you think? Tonight?

Not a chance.

Oh, let me help, let me help!

You know my underwater sight
is better than yours.

Eh? Eh?

That's a bunch of malarkey!
My eyesight's fine!

Who's that, Sprig?
Anyway, don't you have chores to do?

[groans]

Hey, Hop Pop, what's the ETA
on things down here?

Not that I'm in a hurry
to move back in or whatever.

What? I'm just curious.

A girl can't ask about her flooded
makeshift bedroom without getting grilled?

Sheesh.

[both grunt]

-[scoffs]
-[yawns]

Wow, what a long day.

Goin' straight to bed,

if I, uh, can get there without tripping
over all these dirty clothes.

I think it's your wet towels on the ground
that'll get in your way.

I can leave my towels
on the floor of my room.

-What was that?
-Oh, nothing, best roomie.

Anyways, good night.

Hmmm.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

Oh.

Hey, Sprig, would you rather
have a splinter you could never get out

or get bit by a giant mosquito
once a day forever?

[grunts]

-Hey, Sprig.
-What, Anne?

-Pillow fight!
-No, wait, stop! Aaah!

Oh, no! Your doll, I mean, action figure.

Spranne against the world. Right?

I have to go to the bathroom.

[sighs] How is it still so hot in here?

Where's that darn leak?

Come on! Come on!

[inhales]

Oh, that leak has got to be
around here somewhere.

I know, right?

-[both gasp]
-What are you doing here?

I was, uh,
feeling like a night time swim.

What are you doing here?

Night time swim. As well.

[both] You came down here
to fix the leak!

Yeah, well, so did you!

I knew it!
You just couldn't wait to move out!

And you just couldn't wait
to get rid of me!

If you wanted me gone,
you should have just said so...

Anne? Anne!

-Anne! Anne! Anne!
-Something's got my leg!

Hang on. I'm coming.

Sprig!

[growling]

[screaming]

[grunting]

[both gasping]

River lampreys! What are we gonna do?

They're too fast.
We can't fight them underwater.

Huh. Hey, Sprig. You set 'em up...

You knock 'em down.

Come on, come on.

[grunts]

Backhand!

Had enough, river losers?

There's more where that came from.

[shrieking]

What the heck's going on down here?

Some of us are trying to sleep!

[both scream]

Oh, hi, Hop Pop.

So, roommate thing didn't work out, huh?

[both sigh] Not really.

I just couldn't live with him!

The wet towels, the heat, the humidity.

The web crusties. Uhhh!

The loud snacking. The freezing cold.
Lights on at all hours.

-Guess Spranne really is a bust.
-Yeah.

Why? Because you're finally talking?

Sharing a room doesn't make you friends.

Being honest with each other does.

In fact, if you ask me,

you're better friends now
than you were before.

Of course we are!

Yes! Spranne is back
and better than before!

[both laughing]

Aw, how sweet.

So where's Anne gonna sleep then?

Not with me. My bucket's for one.

[wind whistling]

[sighs]

Here you go.
Some super-loud snacks you can munch on.

Aw, thanks, Sprig.

No problem. Anything else I can get you?

All good. See you in the a.m.

OK. Good night.

[sighs]

[clock ticking]

[sighs]

[Sprig] So, Anne, would you
rather smell like rotten eggs

or have hiccups every day
for the rest of your life?

Oh, good one.

I think I'd...

Didn't anyone fix the leak?

[theme music playing]