01x10 - Toad Tax/Prison Break

[bunniefuu]

[frogs croaking]

Oh! Pill bugs are on sale.

Ooh! That reminds me. I'm gonna go grab
some of that beetle jerky I like.

Can't believe I just said that.

OK, kiddo. See ya outside.

Hmm. Where is that...
A-ha! Score. And I got the last one.

Hey! That was totally mine, Wally.

Ya snooze, ya lose, scarecrow.
[guffaws]

Hey! Don't call me scarecrow. Oof!

Hey! Move your big behind, scarecrow.
Croaker needs her cookies.

My behind's not big. I'm big.
Technically, it's to scale. Whoa!

Hey! Didn't you see the sign, scarecrow?

-Classic, clumsy scarecrow.
-[all laughing]

So did you get the beetle jerky you--
Hey, what's wrong?

[sighs]

Well, it's just... I've been
here over a month now,

and the townspeople still treat me crummy.

I just wish they were a little nicer.

Oh, that's just the way these frogs are.

Slow to accept,
and even slower to respect.

It's actually our town motto.

You'll find a way to get their respect,
in your own weird Anne way.

-Now, who wants pill bug pancakes?
-Ooh! My favorite.

I've been here too long.

-Well, that statue's new.
-And tasteless. Woof!

-[all gasp]
-[Bessie chirps]

Whoa, whoa, girl. Easy. What's wrong?

[bones cr*ck]

Nothing like cracking your neck after
a long drive. Ain't that right?

-[door opens]
-Oh, good. You're here.

Toadie, give 'em the list.

Who are those guys?

Toads from Toad Tower.
They rule over the entire valley.

Toad what?

It's a big, scary tower deep in the swamp

and the Toads that live there
are the valley's fiercest warriors.

-Whoa! Cool.
-Cool, yes. But they can be a rough sort.

It's probably for the best
that we all stay clear of--

Oh, dang it. There they go.

Hey guys, so you are from Toad tower?

Sure are, runt.

[laughs] My name's Sprig, actually.

Uh-huh. Yeah, sure. Whoa!

What is that?

It's some kind of gangly new critter
I've never seen before.

I wonder what it tastes like.

-Whoa, whoa, hey. She is not for eating.
-Don't come any closer.

Is that a challenge?

[laughs, growls]

[grunting]

[laughs]

Whoa, that was awesome.

Well met, creature.

I don't know what you are,
but you've got fire.

[grumbles]

OK, kids. That's enough
flirting with death.

-Let's head home.
-Blech, finally. Come on, Anne.

I was thinking we could hang out
with these guys a little longer.

They seem pretty cool.

[scoffs] Cool? More like smelly.
Not to mention creepy.

[raspy breathing]

Wait a second. Are you jealous
I think they're cool?

No. Ha!

If you wanna hang out with some
grody Toads, Anne, be my guest.

No skin off my skin.

OK. But don't dally too long, Anne.

I'm eating your pancakes.

Not jealous.

Oh, he jelly.

-Hey. I didn't get a chance to ask your--
-Name's Bog. The silent one there is Mire.

And Fens here you already met.

I'm Anne. What are you guys
doing in Wartwood?

Every year, this town sends
taxes to the tower.

Well, this year, they came up short.

So, the Mayor gave us this list
of frogs who didn't pay

and we're just here to collect.

Say, we could use someone like you.

-Really?
-Yeah.

You've got inside knowledge of this town.

It'll make the whole job
go a lot smoother.

Oh. Um...

I don't know. I'm not sure any
of this is my business.

You know, the best part
of wearing this badge

is how everyone in this town will
have to treat you with respect.

Gimme that ding-dang thing!

[Hop Pop] Got your last frog.

Whoo! You lose.

-Oh, yeah!
-[door opens]

Guess who became a Toad Tower deputy.

[all] What?

Also, check out this cool
sword Bog gave me.

I can fix that.

Anne, when I said earn the town's respect,
I didn't mean join a g*ng.

[scoffs] I don't believe this.
They're not a g*ng.

They're just here to do a job.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some respect to enjoy.

Uh, boy, what are you doing?

I have a bad feeling about this.

So I'm gonna go follow
Anne and watch over her.

That's all well and good, but can
you at least use the front door?

No.

All right. First name on the list.

So, how does this work?

Do we remind Wally how much he owes or--

-[Bog grunts]
-[singing, screams]

Jumping June bugs! What's all this about?

-[chuckling]
-I, uh, guess you owe the town money?

Rubbish. I may live in squalor,
but I always pay my taxes.

The mayor's list says otherwise.

And since you haven't paid,
we'll be taking your stuff.

[whimpering]

Here you go, Anne.
Little something extra for you.

-Oof! Bog, this seems a little extreme.
-It's just the way we do things here.

Plus, it's not like we enjoy it.

Now, who wants to race
to the next house? [laughs]

[whispers] Here, take this back.

-[Bog] Come on, Anne!
-Comin'.

Thanks.

That's weird. Wally always pays his taxes.

[Mayor Toadstool] Come on. [gasps]

Come on, Toadie. While the townsfolk
are preoccupied.

-[panting] Coming, sir.
-[jingling]

A copper coin? The mayor?
A hole? In the bag? Hmm.

-[jingling continues]
-[Toadie grunts]

I hope you'll be OK, Anne.

[chuckles]

Oh, how horrid.

-[whispers] Here, take this.
-[gasps]

-[laughing]
-No, no, no, not the statue.

No!

Psst.

Oh! [sobbing] Yes. Oh!

Archie! Sic 'em.

[snarls]

[gurgling]

[roars]

[whimpers]

-Here you go.
-[squeaks, pants]

I don't know, guys.
This whole thing feels... wrong.

The law's the law, Anne.

It can be tough, but this kind
of work needs to get done.

Yeah. Needs to get done.
Stuff, gotta get it done.

I... guess that makes sense.
Who's next on the list?

Eh, some nut named Hopadiah Plantar.

Oh, crud.

Bog, that list has to be wrong.
I know that frog. He's totally honest.

Anne, the tower didn't get any taxes, OK?

And if we didn't get the money,
then where is it?

It's flawless, Toadie. The perfect plan.

Who would think to look for the
missing taxes in plain sight?

Master stroke, sir.

Quickly now. Let's skedaddle
before anyone notices--

The taxes! You fiends!

Everyone's gonna be furious
when they find out about this.

Well, then it's a good thing
you'll never get to tell them.

[shouts]

Well, ya gotta catch me first.

Hey! Get after him.

[grunting]

[thunder rumbling]

Like I said, I already paid my dang taxes.
You can't come in here, and that's final.

I don't like your tone, frog.
Or did you forget who you're talking to?

Bog, I am telling you, he paid his taxes.

He... He made me watch.

So then you add up
your deductibles and... Oop!

Guess what, Anne? You're a deductible.

k*ll me.

[shudders]

Anne, they all say they've paid.

I don't care what you think you saw.
The list don't lie.

Now, what should we start with?

Well, how about that thing?

[purrs, chirps]

You stay away from her.

I'll bite your face off!

Good choice. That snail
should cover everything.

Mire, Fens, Anne, move out.

[chirping, purring continues]

You monsters!

[straining]

-[chirps]
-Stop!

[gasps]

You keep your claws off
that snail. Better yet...

get off our property.

[thunderclap]

Care to repeat that?

I said get lost.

Now!

-[gasps]
-[Wally] Oh, she's brave.

What did she just say?

All I wanted was this town's respect.

But just because these
people treated me crummy

doesn't mean I'm going
to do the same to them.

I'm done with this. I don't care
if they've broken the law.

You can't treat people like this.

[all gasp]

All right!

-[fingers snap]
-[grunts]

Anne!

[both shouting]

-Hey! Let me go.
-Let me go. Let me go!

How disappointing.

Do you know what we do to traitors
in the tower, Anne?

[cackles] You're about to be a pill
bug pancake, you little brat.

Your foot's about
to be a pancake. [grunts]

-[screams]
-[growls]

[grunting]

-[grunting]
-[laughs]

No!

[Anne screams]

[laughs] Sorry, creature.
It's just business.

-[groans] What the--
-You leave her alone.

-Yeah, you leave our Anne alone.
-She's one of us.

If you got a problem with her,
you got a problem with all of us.

[straining]

[squealing]

Anne!

Hey, what took you so long?

-Sorry, I got tied up.
-[Mayor Toadstool huffing]

Oh, boy. Gotta cut back
on them cricket nuggets. Whoo!

Arrest that Toad.

He stole the town's money and was
keeping it all for himself.

-[all gasping]
-[Wally] Gosh!

[all murmuring]

May I?

[grunts] I think you should do the honors.

[all gasp]

[Croaker] No-good son of a slug!

People, I needed the extra money
for my campaign.

Do you have any idea how much
it costs to buy your love?

Uh... And as mayor, I hereby pardon
myself of any wrong doing.

-Thank you. Good day.
-[crowd] Get out of here, you scoundrel.

[grunts]

If it was respect you were looking for,
you sure lost mine...

You've a lot of nerve, I'll give you that.

[laughs] We'll be back,
Anne, and we won't be alone.

-[grunts]
-She don't need your respect.

Yeah. She's got ours!

[all cheering]

Hyah!

So, are we gonna tell the captain
about that creature we found?

Oh, we're gonna tell
the captain everything.

Three cheers for Anne,
defender of Wartwood.

[all] Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

Aw, thanks, guys.

[sniffles] Now who wants to sign my cast?

-Me, me, me. I'm her best friend.
-Me! Out of the way, you plebes.

Oi! I can't write. [laughs]

[frogs croaking]

-[whinnies]
-[grunting]

[cheering]

-Work that tongue. Yeah, come on!
-Whoo!

Bull's-eye!

[cheering stops]

-It's Captain Grime.
-Captain Grime's here.

Captain Grime.

[raspy breathing]

So, these are the valley's
strongest warriors.

Pathetic! Wait, hold on.

Is this guy seriously wearing
his breast plate as pants?

Uh, it won't happen again, sir.

No, it won't. Take him to the pain room.

[fingers snap]

Not the pain room. I hate pain!

I'm sure you've all heard frogs
in the valley are getting unruly.

They're questioning our authority.

Some towns have even stopped
paying their taxes.

And do you know why?

Maybe they, I don't know, forgot?

No, you imbeciles! You've all gotten soft.

-[gulps]
-[croaks]

To get this valley under control,
I need warriors who are fierce, cunning,

and above all, ruthless!

[squeaking]

Get your own food, you dumb bug.

-[door unlocks]
-Huh?

Hey, Sasha. Brought you dinner.
Cricket Thursdays.

-Percy!
-Hey, I've been working on my act.

Do you wanna see it?

-Totally! Bring it.
-OK, stay right there.

[music playing]

-Ta-da!
-Whoo! Wow! Get it, Toad!

That was legit, Percy.

Honestly, you're wasting
your time here as a guard.

You know what? You're right.

Thanks, Sasha. I can't wait
to see the look on Grime's face

when I tell him that I'm--

[gasps]

Tell me what?

Uh...

That I quit and I've always
hated this job. Bye!

-[sighs]
-Hey there, Grimesy!

What's that, like, the fifth Toad
I've talked into leaving this week?

There's plenty more where that came from,
and far more loyal than Percy.

Are you sure about that?

You're not exactly
Mr. Popular around here.

Enough!

-Now who--
-Sent me? No one.

How'd I get here? Don't know.

What do I want? To find my friends and go
home. Haven't we been through this enough?

It'll be enough once you start
giving me real answers.

-Until then--
-Captain Grime! Captain Grime!

Sir! Oh, hey, Sash.

Braddock! Hey, girlfriend.
How's the garden coming along?

[gasps] Oh, it's gorgeous.
You should see the squash--

Did you need something, soldier?

Oh! Right. Yes. We may
have a small problem.

There.

[screeches]

-k*ll the torches. Fast!
-Sir.

A bird? You guys are scared of a bird.

Quiet. It's not just a bird.

It's a Heron, a murderous predator
that happens to love the taste of flesh.

[screeches]

-Cute.
-The most important thing right now

-is that we be very, very quiet.
-[door creaking]

[music playing]

-Come back. Get back here.
-Percy, come back.

-Percy!
-Get back here, Percy.

Sorry, guys. But this Toad's
gotta follow his dreams!

[screeches]

[screams]

-[pants, shouts]
-[growls]

Don't lead them here, you fool. Ugh!

[horn blares]

Close the gates.

Wait for me!

Whoa, this is serious.

[screeches]

Oh, crud!

[all screaming]

Ah, this place is falling apart! [sobbing]

-[screeching]
-[whimpers]

Find a happy place. Find a happy place.

Come on, you cowards. Fight back.

[screams] Do something.

-[Sasha] Bring it on, birdbrain!
-Hmm?

-[Heron screeches]
-[grunts]

Eat this!

[screeches]

The creature can fight.

She could be worth something.

[grunts]

[grunts] Creature, fight with me.

And together we'll-- And she's gone.

[grunting] I'm not afraid of death.

Hey! Ugly chicken!

[grunts]

[whimpers]

[laughs]

Where did you get moves like that?

Cheerleading, believe it or not.

I'm sorry, cheer what?

OK, listen up. If I help you get rid
of these birds,

you will give me provisions
and release me. Deal?

Deal.

Now grab every Toad you can
and head to the safe room.

[Heron screeching]

Quickly.

[loud thudding]

[all groan]

[whimpering]

You know what would lighten
this atmosphere a little bit?

A joke!

How many Herons does it take
to storm a castle?

[groans] Too soon?

You lot are, without a doubt,

the most useless group of Toads
I have ever seen.

[all] Aw!

Maybe if any of you had a scrap
of courage,

we wouldn't be in here cowering
like a bunch of--

[laughs] OK.

-What?
-All right. Let's take five.

Grimesy, a word in private, please?

OK, if you keep yelling at them like that,

they'll keep being useless,
and we'll all die.

What do you suggest, I congratulate them?
Give them each an award?

Not exactly. Just try saying
nice things for a change.

Get them to love you,
and they'll do anything for you.

That actually works?

Oh, it works, all right. Trust me.

Mmm. I don't know.

Here, I'll give you a head start.

Whoa, Grime! So you think
your guards are all amazing

but you're afraid to tell
them your true feelings?

-What? What are you--
-What's that?

You think Braddock is the toughest
Toad in the tower

'cause she doesn't take garbage
from anyone?

Uh...

Yes!

Braddock is tough. Tough as beetle skin.

-Ooh, look at you!
-Oh, way to go.

[chuckles] Oh, well, I do wash
with a steel wool brush.

It really hurts.

And what were those nice things
you said about Gary?

Oh, Gary. Gary, Gary. Um...

Gary never missed a day,
even when he was sick.

What can I say, I'm dedicated.

-Ooh!
-Can't believe he actually likes us.

And Percy?

I don't wanna do Percy.

And Percy?

Percy's a grubbing idiot.

-[all gasp]
-[whimpers]

-Ooh.
-Harsh.

Uh... But,

when he makes a mistake, he owns it.

And he doesn't stop until he makes
things right. And because of that...

[gasping]

he has...

Come on, come on.

[grunts] He's earned my respect.

[all gasp]

[gasps] I have?

[stammers] Yes.

[sniffles] Captain Grime, sir,

we're taking this tower back,
even if we have to fight through Heron.

Now come on, you Toads.
No one wants to live forever!

[cheering]

[whooping]

[screeching]

[gulps] For Grime!

[all cheer]

Before we die, Braddock, I love you.
I've always loved you.

[gasps]

[kisses]

-[screeching]
-Up here, pheasants!

[both whooping]

[both shouting]

[screeching]

[grunts]

[Sasha grunting]

[both shouting]

[screeching]

[all gasp] Whoa.

Toads of Toad Tower,
today was a great victory.

If it weren't for your bravery,
the fortress would be lost.

You're all heroes!

-Did Grime...
-Just call us...

Heroes?

[all cheering]

All right, troops, listen up.

[all] Sir, yes, sir!

OK. Wow. Um...

Head down to the mess hall for some
food and a round of beetle mead.

You've earned it.

-[all] Sir, yes, sir!
-[Toad] Hup, hup, hup, hup!

Unbelievable.

This compliment stuff is witchcraft.

Uh-huh, yeah, OK. Anyways,
I upheld my part of the deal.

So give me some rations, a map,
maybe a cool cloak or two,

and I'll be on my way.

Not so fast.

You're far too dangerous and manipulative
to be left to roam free.

You warty little--

But we both know I can't stop you.

So go ahead, be a vagabond,
wandering alone in the wilderness.

Or?

Or stay here. Help us rebuild the tower.

Perhaps serve as my second-in-command.

And when we're done here,
you, me, and the entire Garrison

will march on the valley, restore order,
and find your friends.

Now, how does that sound?

I think I can live with that.

Then come, Lieutenant.
We have much to discuss.

[Toad] Captain Grime, sir.
Bog has just returned from Wartwood

and is waiting for you
in the briefing room.

Hold on for a little longer, girls.
I'm coming for you.

And when I find you, we're gonna get home.

But first, I think we're gonna
have some fun with this place.

[theme music playing]