02x01 - My New Wand!/Ludo in the Wild

[bunniefuu]

[title music]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another, woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Ooh It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension 2x01 - My New Wand! Guess who! It's me, Star.

I have some exciting news.

Well, first, Marco got kidnapped, and then I blew up a bunch of stuff, including my wand.

And I was super bummed because I thought I was never gonna get to do magic again, but then, I got my new wa My new wand! Oh, yeah, and Marco's okay.

- Say hi, Marco.

- Hey! I don't want the computer to watch me shower.

[gasps]

- What's up with your wand? - I don't know.

Oh, no, it's going downstairs.

[yells]

I almost d*ed.

- My towel! - Hang on.

I'll get you out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a second.

- I'm not decent.

- Oh, okay.

Don't open that.

Wasn't gonna.

- Uh, it's locked.

- What?! Try the knob.

What do you think I am doing? No, no, not now, sweetie.

- I usually open this door with my wand.

- Well, your book ate it.

Better not be pokin' around in there.

That's my secrets closet.

It's private.

Just get me outta here.

[straining]

- What are you doing? - Aah! Uh, hey, Glossaryck.

My wand's locked in the closet.

- Hey, what about me? - Oh, yeah.

Marco's in there, too.

And my spell book.

Basically all my stuff.

I want my stuff.

- Did you try the knob? - I tried the knob.

Anything? - Nope.

Still locked.

- Aha! What's going on? Is this some kind of training thing or something? Are you some kind of training thing? Are you mad? Is this wolf-kabob rock bandage ba-ba-bandage Stop, stop.

Stop it! Just tell me how to get out of here.

Okay, I'll tell you what to do.

- Are you listening? - Yes, I'm listening.

To reach the chunks in the hobo stew, find her secret.

That's the clue.

So if I find her secret, the door's just gonna magically open? Good-bye! Secret? Which one? Here we go.

Why don't you try the easy way and open the door with magic? I can't do magic.

My wand's in the closet.

[gasps]

Do you wanna try the hard way? Yeah! What's the hard way? You've never heard of the hard way? Nope.

Sounds hard though.

- Oh, it is.

But I can teach you.

- Teach me.

The lesson begins inside my eyeball.

Imagine the universe as this big old cauldron, and magic is the bubbly stew inside, and your wand is the spoon.

And now Oh.

My wand isn't a spoon.

It's a wand.

- It's a metaphor, Star.

- No, it's a wand.

[puff]

Fine.

It's a wand.

Now you're getting it.

[claps]

Now the wand can only skim the surface of the hobo gravy, watery and brown.

But if you want to get to the chunks, you've got to dip down.

Get it? - Uh-uh.

- Okay, look.

You can do magic without your wand.

You just have to dip down, ya know? - Dip down.

Dip down! - Without my wand? - Your mom did it.

- Psh! If she can do it, I can do it.

Okay, I've just gotta dip down.

- Hot laser! - [gasps]

I am so sorry.

Star, try dipping down-er for the chunks.

[whistling]

Ow! Ah, Marco my boy.

How's it going over there? Oh, you know, just trying to find her "secrets" in a closet full of secrets! Yes, well, you know I do this because I love you.

- Okay, that's a little weird.

- [chuckles]

I'm sure it is.

Now if you don't mind, I've got work to do.

Yeah.

So do I.

Help me! [screams]

Hmm.

[whistles]

[humming]

[sniffs]

You ever dip down before, Sajak? Yeah, me neither.

[sighs]

What a mess.

It's time to get organized.

No.

No! Dip down, dip down, dip down, dip down.

Dip down, dip down, dip down, dip down, dip down.

Dip down! Down!! Aquarium blast! Fish blast.

Are you okay? - Hmm.

- Dip down.

Dip down.

[buzzing]

Nope.

[Marco screaming]

They're biting me! That didn't work.

Stop eating my flesh.

Hmmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmmmm.

[exhales]

Ahem.

Call Mom.

Calling Mom.

Star? Hi, Mommy.

What did you do? [stammering]

Okay, Marco's locked in my closet, and Glossaryck wants me to dip down to get him out.

Dip down? I didn't learn that until I was 19.

Wow! Wow.

So I'm, like, advanced.

[chuckling]

I suppose.

Anyway, Glossaryck didn't really give me any instructions, so Ha.

That sounds familiar.

Well, it's not easy.

If you want to dip down, you have to summon everything you have.

Everything?! Oh! Everything.

Star, you do know what I mean by everything Yeah, totally, totally.

Okay, I think that's everything.

You want everything? Everything you shall get.

Marco Diaz makin' progress.

[crashing]

Okay, that's not good.

Well, Marco, looks like I'm just a skimmer.

Skimmin' the surface of the hobo gravy.

The watery hobo gravy.

How are things goin' for you? Not so good.

Actually, you thwarted my progress.

[gasps]

I guess it's not that bad.

I can slide sandwiches under the door.

Bring you your homework.

Life could be good for you.

I don't wanna live in your secrets closet.

[gasps]

[yells]

All right.

No more riddles, little man.

Tell me what I'm supposed to be looking for.

Aah! My eyes! - Oh! So this is the thing.

- Bingo.

Star, I found the thing.

It's a little book.

That's good.

Reading will keep the mind sharp.

Like a horn.

It's in Mewnian writing.

Oh, wait, here's English.

"Chapter one.

Mom's a poop head.

" Mom's a poop head? [gasps]

Marco, no.

No, no, no, no, no! Hang on, Star.

Just give me a sec.

Marco, no! That's not the thing! - That's not the thing! - Skipping forward.

- Marco, put that down! - "On my tenth birthday, I put noxie frogs in all the servants' beds.

" Hey.

I'm out of juice.

Dip down! Marco, it's not the thing, it's not the thing! "Chapter 11, my thoughts on Marco.

" [gasps]

Dip down.

I did it! I dipped, I dipped, I dipped, Marco! I'm not a skimmer.

I dipped! - Ow! - Sorry.

But don't read my journal.

[both gasp]

Well, this thing's broken, but give it a whirl.

- Uh - I'm gonna go put on some pants.

Uh [coughs]

I call dibs on the new tower! 2x02 - Ludo in the Wild [boom]

- Where is my castle? - It's gone.

- And where is your wand? - That's gone, too.

Everything? We are no longer friends! - We never were friends.

- You are now my mortal enemy! This day, I vow Huh? [screaming]

[screaming continues]

[music]

Adrift in the universe that is infinitely expanding.

Toward nothing away from nothing.

A passage of time marked by age.

Marked by hunger of the spirit.

And hunger of the body.

Alone.

Infinitely [gasps]

Chips Food [straining]

Come back.

Wha? No! [screams]

Where am I? Ow! DirtOw! In my eye! The sky is throwing water at my face.

[gasps]

[screams]

My chips! Can I please [grunts]

[gasps]

Sushi Sushi come back.

I want my sushi.

Oh, yes, yes.

Excuse me, brother.

Lunch over? [forced chuckle]

You never loved me! [screams]

Oh! Not this again! Whoa! [stammering]

[squeaking]

[Ludo screaming]

Please don't let me go.

[straining]

Don't fight it, bro.

You're stuck.

Just let it happen.

Snow! [crying]

Snow.

[bite, screams]

No, no.

[spits]

[laughter]

You taste bad.

Never mind.

I'll shut up.

Oh, that's horrible! Mmm.

Tastes pretty good.

More, please.

Please, please, please.

How long have I been asleep? Where are you going? [music]

Ow! [chuckles]

Gotcha! No! My chips! My chips! [high-pitched shriek]

[gasps]

Big mistake.

Come and get me.

[music]

[shrieking]

Ya-ha.

Uh-oh.

Look out below.

I win, and to the victor the spoils! Hm? Hmm.

[chuckles]

Go get it.

[music]

Hyah! Keep it comin'.

Good.

Whoa.

That's enough.

You'll get the scraps later.

[screeching overhead]

It's time.

Hi.

[classical music]

Nature is a cruel mother.

And favors the merciless.

And so, in order to survive, Ludo in the wild must find the wild in Ludo.

Hey, Ludo.

Hi.

No, no, no.

Find somebody else to [yells]

get the wand! It's mine.

It will be mine! [whistles]

Arachnid! Bird! Oh, no.

No, no, no! Where'd she go? No!! Cruel vision.

[gasps]

I'm on Mewni.

[music]

I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home