03x05 - bad momma

[bunniefuu]

Wow.

So handsome.

Shukran.

Even better
than the photos online.

Thank you, tant.

Do you mind if I touch?

Ah.

So great, strong definition.

Wow.

Muscle man.

Wow.

I'm sorry if my breath
smells bad, you know.

I'm... I've been trying
to quit smoking,

and I've been using
these nicotine patches.

But in shall ah,
it will get better soon.

- In shall ah.
- It's not that bad, though.

- And the hair.
- Wow, these curls.

Bend down.

Bend down to you?

Wow, nice curls.

Few just weak spots,

but the curls
cover them so beautifully.

Great. That's it.

Yeah.

Perfect.

You're the perfect man.

I had a friend.

She came to this country
a few years before me.

She told me she was
working for these guys,

helping with Hurricane Irene.

They needed people to clean.

It wasn't a bad job,
if you don't have your papers.

I helped them
with Hurricane Sandy

a few years later.

They paid me enough to live,
to save a little.

Every time there was a storm,
I cleaned,

different parts of the country.

The boss, Jeremy, he made a lot
of money from the government,

but he stopped paying me.

Then he said he would pay
if I did things with him,

but he still never pay.

And do you think
he did this with other women,

other undocumented people?

Yes, I do.

He told me if I say anything
to anyone, he call ICE.

Wow. Wow.

This is so good.

So good?

I mean, like,
exactly how you said that,

that's... that's how you
have to say it to Logan.

I know she's gonna love this.

We're gonna get you your visa,
and then we're gonna prosecute.

You are the best lawyer, Dena.

I'm not a lawyer yet,
technically,

but I will be soon.

And we just have
to get Logan to sign off

to officially take this on.

And, um, you're gonna be
my first client

once I finish the bar.

You've been through so much.

You... you have been treated
so unfairly, and I'm...

I'm gonna make sure
you get everything you deserve.

Please, God, I hope.

Hey, God can't prosecute
like we can.

So your daughter, uh,
she will be back soon?

Who knows?

It's just, I thought
I was going to be meeting her

because the dating profile
was... her.

Yes, the dating profile is hers,

but I manage it because
she's very busy being a lawyer.

You see, she needs
to find time for love.

sh*t!

f*ck!

Farouk, stop with the f*cking cursing,
okay?

All he cares about

is that bullshit land of his
in Cairo.

Bullshit land?

And, brother, just grab
one of those brochures

in front of you
and look inside of them

and tell me if what you see
is bullshit land.

It is bullshit.

Imagine you work your ass out
all your life in this country

for those business
m*therf*ckers.

And then one day,
you get to rest your head

in your homeland in luxury.

Would you not invest
in something like that?

Uh...

Dena, finally.

Yeah.

What's happening?

Come. Come. Come.

Yalla. Go.
Introduce yourself.

Hi. Uh, my name is Tarek.

I met you online.

Tell her what you do.

Uh, uh, I'm a doctor.

Uh, I was a doctor in Egypt,

but, uh, here I have
to take the test again.

We met online?

- Uh, I'm sorry, maalesh.
- I... I thought you...

Did you create a f*cking
dating profile for me?

I... uh, maybe I should leave.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Leave, both of you.

- Yalla. Go out.
- No, no, no, no, no, Mom.

- Get to know each other.
- Mom, stop.

I am not trying to meet
some random dude right now.

I need to study.

Dena, you're aging.

What, you want to pay $22,000
to freeze your eggs,

or you want a free man?

This one is for free.

Check his hair.

Everyone here is insane.

She's so beautiful.

Yalla, amshi. Go.

This isn't gonna happen.

I don't do Muslim dating apps,
and I don't care

about your halal-haram ratio.

Okay?

Okay.

Uh, so are you a lawyer?

I'm interning
at a firm right now,

but I'm gonna take
the bar next week,

so I have to study.

Is it a good firm?

I've had many lawyers try
and help me with my status.

They were all liars.

This place isn't like that.

My boss really focuses
on people in need,

immigrants, refugees.

- Alhamdulilah.
- We need this.

This country has many problems.

I wish there was more
to protect these people.

- Mm-hmm.
- Real Islam, real justice.

Islam?

Okay.

Religion is really what's
keeping it calm and even.

That's good.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe the time has come.

What time?

When the world is full
of Muslims, but empty of Islam.

This was maktoub.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Yeah, I... I really gotta
go study.

And I will study, too.

I have to prove
to these Americans

I can fix their bodies.

Yeah.

I paid the man.

The muqaddam and the muakahar.
I deserve to see Zainab.

It's true.

You gave me the money,

and now
you deserve to see Zainab.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Because she's a prost*tute.

What?

Zainab's company
can be purchased with money

because she's a prost*tute,

which I suppose makes me
her pimp.

No, that's not
what I'm saying, man.

It's what you believe,
though, isn't it?

I can hear the entitlement
in your voice.

You've got
some very interesting beliefs

about women, brother.

Has it occurred to you
that maybe Zainab doesn't want

to see you,
and that this payment

doesn't change that fact,

that this was just
your marital duty?

Salaam alaikum, brother.

Ramy, you don't have a shattafa,

only a bottle of water
in the toilet?

- Yeah. Yeah, Ma.
- I just... I just moved.

I'm gonna... I'll get it.

Who was on the phone?

- You don't...
- You don't know him.

Wow.

Look at this view.

Oh, my God.

How much do you pay here?

You're not... you're not
supposed to ask people that,

- Ma.
- What do you mean?

You're not people.
You're my son.

You're my Ramy.

What the f*ck is this sh*t?

Do you smoke?

Like, Ramy,
you cannot start smoking.

I just quit.

I'm... I'm gonna quit, too.

I gotta go.

I got a bunch of sh*t
I gotta do.

Can you just, uh, feed Boomer
in, like, an hour?

Feed the dog?

Yeah, she's got
food in the fridge.

There's, uh, organic stuff
for dogs.

Don't feed her the human things.

It'll mess up her stomach.

I just wanted to spend
some time with you.

Can you take her
for a walk, please?

And just make sure
that you pick up the sh*t.

It's not like our neighborhood.

Like, you can't just
leave sh*t everywhere.

Pick up the sh*t?

Yeah.

I love you.

With my hands?

Yalla. Come.

Uh, uh, ah.

Is that Boomer?

Hi.

- I just picked it up.
- You can't report.

Oh, no, no, no.

I just wanted
to say hi to Boomer.

She's such a good dog.

You know, I've always
been a-scared of dogs,

but she's made me
want to get one.

You're Ramy's grandma?

I really love your grandson.

He helped me get this necklace
for my girlfriend.

Um, at least, I hope she's
going to be my girlfriend.

That's the plan
with the necklace.

Right? That's the plan.

You think I'm Ramy's grandma?

What?

I am not his grandmother.

Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I... yeah, I...

He's my son, m*therf*cker.

- Even better.
- That's great.

That's great.

f*ck ass.

Come!

I really don't think
you're supposed

to wear multiple patches
at the same time.

Did you call him?

Who?

- Barack Obama.
- Who?

Tarek.

- No.
- I already told you.

- Habibti.
- Hmm?

Someday, sooner than you
think, everything will change.

You have to take the chances
while you're young,

before your uterus
becomes an egg graveyard.

What the f*ck?

Graveyard of eggs.

Yeah, Dena, call him.

Come.

I clean houses by myself.

My daughter... she's young.

- She will help me but...
- Mm.

She was diagnosed with cancer.

I don't have the money
to take care of her.

He still never paid.

He said he can't.

He said he is not
in this business anymore,

and now he owns
buildings in New York.

Can you believe this?

Hmm.

Yeah.

Uh, Dena has been so
kind to me, hearing my story.

She said once she becomes
officially a lawyer,

you both help me.

I feel so hopeful again.

I knew God would help me.

I am so happy to meet you
and to be represented by you.

I'm really sorry to hear
what you've been through.

Would you give us
a moment, Isabela?

Oh, sure.

- So what do you...
- What are you doing?

What?

Why are you
wasting this woman's time?

Wasting her time?

Dena, it's hard enough

to get someone like her
a U visa.

You talked to her
about prosecution,

about getting her money back?

This man is an abuser,
and he has power.

He was one of those
f*cking Tr*mp contractors.

Look, I spoke to people
who worked with her,

corroborated her story.

What was your plan,

to bring her in here right
before your exam,

then I hire you,

and you get
some great big story?

This isn't a case.

It's a journalistic piece,
maybe.

If you wanted
to help this woman,

you should have
told someone to help you

to submit an application.

- But I...
- I don't even know

why you thought
it was okay to consult someone.

You're not licensed
to give any legal advice.

You're supposed to be
studying for your exam.

Dena, maybe you should
slow down a little bit.

You don't want to take
the bar exam hungover, do you?

She screwed over an immigrant
with a kid who has cancer.

Just, like, let her drink.

Dude, stop judging her.

You literally hook up
with married men.

Okay, I provide them
with a service.

It's probably
not a serious cancer.

Yeah, it's probably,
like, just a mild one.

It's not.

Yeah, I guess
you don't really hear

about kids with, like,
prostate cancer.

I'm gonna go get some rest

for tomorrow's exam.

Yalla, Dena, let's go.

Um, I'm gonna go in a bit.

I'll get a car.

Hi, it's Maysa.

Did my daughter call?

Okay.

She's really special.

I love the way she thinks.

No, she thinks
of all the wrong things.

You see, I worry about her
because she doesn't know

how fast life goes by.

This life, when it's over,

will feel like that too.

It's so nice, talking to you.

You see, Farouk and I
don't talk that much.

I mean, it pisses me off,
but, like, we have nothing

really to say to each other.

That sounds
really lonely, Maysa.

You should have
seen me when I was young.

You wouldn't believe it.

But now, if I want
to attract someone,

I just have to use
the picture of my daughter.

Tarek, I am so confused.

I have so much love for her.

When I see her, I only want
good things for her,

and at the same time,
I am competitive and jealous,

and I just want to b*at her.

You see, I wonder
if all moms are like this

or if I'm just a bad mama.

I don't think that's true.

That you could only attract
someone with a picture

of your daughter.

In fact, I know that's not true.

Thank you.

So, Tarek, what are
you doing tonight?

Yes, you, tonight.

What are you doing?

- Maysa?
- Yes.

She wants to hang out tonight.

Oh.

Great.

Dena, I'm so happy you called.

Mm-hmm.

Um, what are you
feeling like doing?

There's a great diner.

Yeah.

Who are these guys?

Do you guys all live
in the same room together?

Can they just leave?

- Dena?
- Mm-hmm?

- Dena?
- Yeah?

Dena, we have to slow down.

What?

You know why.

Tarek...

It takes the shape
of where it's at.

And right now, we're in America.

Sex just has
a different flow here.

Everything does.

- I know, but...
- No, no, no, listen to me.

Listen to me.
You came here

because you wanted
something different.

I know you did.

Otherwise, you would have
just stayed in Egypt.

It's like I'm not
just some random white girl.

You met my mom.

Oh, sh*t.

I slept for, like, a second.

It's so late.

You're leaving?

Yeah, I have this exam
in a few hours.

But I thought we could talk
about what happened.

Yeah, sure.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna call you.

I'm gonna call you.

What?

Um, dude, don't say that.

What we did last night...

I have never done this before.

I never give in to it.

Okay.

Um...

But I've been praying.

If we say
we'll get married, then maybe,

maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

- Yeah.
- Maybe.

Just...

I had a really bad day,
you know.

There's this kid
with cancer and...

Ya Allah. Ya Allah.

Hey, dude, hey, hey, it's okay.

I allowed myself
to be seduced by the devil.

Walla hi, I didn't even
close my eyes.

I was so worried, Dena,

because I know that you had
your exam today,

and I was hoping
that you are studying

and you're not just having fun
with your friends

and not taking care
about any other thing.

But anyway, it's all to say
good luck for today.

You should really
succeed that exam.

Like, you have to succeed
that exam.

Because you have to become
a lawyer, you understand?

You have to become
something important in life.

And, uh...

yalla.

Bye.

Dena, you're back so early.

- Um...
- You finished your exam?

I just have a bit of a headache.

So I'm gonna go upstairs.

Of course you finished fast,
because you are so clever.

I just want to tell you
I am so proud of you.

You're going to be a lawyer.

Yeah.

You know, when your mom
was pregnant with you,

I prayed to God that it would
be a son, just like Ramy.

And then they told us
it was a girl,

and I was so disappointed.

I didn't know what to do.

But now I know I was wrong.

I know that
this has been a gift.

Look at you, habibti.

Dena, you are my son.

You are the real son.

- Come here.
- I, uh...

Uh, thanks.

Um... this is a thumb drive.

I prepared all my presentations

that I used to do at work in it.

And it's for you.

Presentations, proposals...

You want me to get you a job?

Yeah.

I am so proud of you.

You have such a career
ahead of you.

Nabil...

I think
Farouk and Maysa's daughter

is cleaning our house.

Walla hi, I swear.