03x02 - Book Be Gone/Marco and the King

[bunniefuu]

[" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [song ends]

[music]

[snoring]

[sniffing]

Ahh! [muttering]

Aah! Ooh-eee! Aah! Wha? [squeaking]

My wand.

Where's Where's my wand? Aah! [Grunts]

My hand is a wand? A wand hand? I have a wand hand.

I I don't know if I like this.

Wait! I don't like this! Glossaryck.

Where's Glossaryck? [Glossaryck]

I'm right here.

I'm right where you left me.

Right here.

Glossaryck! Oh, Glossaryck! They They turned my hand into a wand, and you you into a pole.

[sobs]

[Glossaryck]

I am not a pole.

Huh? I'm over here.

Hey-o! Glossaryck! [thud]

Where have you been? What do you mean, "where have I been?" You told me to hide.

I hid! [plop]

- Oh, come on.

- What? I never told you to hide.

Wait.

Now, which one of you am I talking to right now? Which one? It's me! Ludo! Oh, yes.

It's you.

Yeah.

All right, never mind.

What's going on? Who trashed my house? - Uh, you did.

- What? You defeated the Magic High Commission.

- I did? - Well, not you.

Not you exactly, but, um I defeated the Magic High Commission? Ha! I can't believe it! [gasps]

This needs to be a chapter in the Book of Spells! Then everyone will know how powerful I am! [humming sound]

Huh? What? Huh? What? Butterfly Castle? Oh, no, no, no, first I write my chapter in the book, then I'll take over Butterfly Castle.

Now, where was I? [straining]

There we go.

That's not going to work.

You see only the owner can write in the Book of Spells.

- Yep, that's me, I'm the owner.

- Okay Should I write in my normal handwriting or try something fun and fancy? What should I call my chapter? "Ludo the Awesome"! Mm-mmm.

Nah, nothin'.

"Ludo the Better Than Everyone Else.

" Ooh, yes! I like the sound of that! Eh? No problem.

No problem.

Just a little speed bump.

Aah! I told you, it's not your book anymore.

Hmph! Okay.

Maybe it just needs a little space.

Yes, that's it.

I'll just come back some other time.

[humming]

Aha! [grunting]

Hah! Ooh ooh ooh! [grunting and screaming]

Boo-yah! [shouting]

I gotcha now! [muttering]

[splash]

So this is probably not one of my favorite things that's happened to me.

[screaming]

[growls]

Oh, I just don't know anymore.

Is it more heat and less pudding, or less pudding and Oh, forget it.

Aah! Gotcha! [Ludo]

Ow! - Hmm - Ow! [screams]

Hmm.

Whoo! Aah! - Oh! - You will let me write in you! [screaming in slow motion]

[groaning]

I hurt in places I didn't know I had.

You know, there's a spell in the book that would fix that.

Oh, wait.

Oh, oh, never mind.

- Oh, give me a break! - A spell? Of course! Why I didn't think of this before! [humming]

- I wouldn't do that if I were you.

- Levitato! [screaming]

[expl*si*n]

[music]

Where am I? Oh, thanks, Marion.

That's so nice Barbra? My favorite.

[slurping]

Mmm.

Oh, that really hits the spot.

Say, you got any of those tiny pillows for behind my knees? You know, girls, it's funny, I know this is a bit lolo Ha! But I can't remember how I got here.

[laughs]

[all laughing]

Huh? That stupid book! Yaah! [angry muttering]

Get my hands on you! [mooing]

[grunting]

Aah! [growling]

So, what's that thing you said about me not being the owner of the book anymore? Hmm? Yes.

Well, that's, um that's the thing.

- What's the thing? - The book thing.

You don't You don't own it anymore.

- That's it.

- But that doesn't make any sense! I took it! It's right there! - How can it not be mine? - I don't know.

Why don't you ask the book? [pudding plops]

Ohh! Hmm.

Book! I demand that you let me write in you this instant, or I'll turn this car around so fast, it'll make your head spin! [groans]

Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just that you have something I want, and you won't give it to me.

And I want it so much.

You and I aren't really that different, you know? We both like magic and, uh, other stuff.

What I'm trying to say is I really appreciate you and all you've done for me, so if you're not letting me write in you because of something I did or I said, I-I All right, I'm just going to come right out and say it.

I love you, book.

I do! I love you.

And I'd be honored if you let me write in you.

[Glossaryck laughing]

[clapping]

Why are you laughing? I'm sorry.

It's It's a book.

You cannot talk to the to the book.

[laughing]

I'm sorry.

[Laughing]

Ahh.

I thought you were in on the, uh Oh, never mind.

Oh, yes.

Funny? Yes, I suppose it is.

Funny that I ever believed you would take me seriously! Funny that ugly little Ludo wants to be a mighty magical superstar.

What a joke, right? Ha ha ha ha! Joke on me! Star was always your favorite, wasn't she? The cute little sparkles on the cheeks.

I'm just a sad little dingus in a chip bag, who you never believed in.

Well, if you don't want me in your book, then I don't want me in it, either! [grunting]

[music]

Well, Toffee, looks like you finally got him to do what you wanted.

I didn't want this.

This was all Ludo.

But now that you're gone, I can finally get him to do what I wanted.

I'd love to chat more, but it looks like you're out of time.

Hmm.

You know, even though I knew this was coming, it's, uh it's still kind of a surprise.

Hey! H-Hey, look! It worked! [gasps]

[whimpers]

Glossaryck? Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no! Glossaryck! What have I done? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I No, no, no, no! No, no, stop.

Come back! I didn't mean it! [crying]

[humming]

Huh? What do you mean it's for the best? Right.

The book was a distraction.

We don't need it anymore.

We don't need anyone anymore! [wind whistling]

Butterfly Castle I'm coming for you.

[snoring]

Mmm.

Good morning, Moon Pie.

[whimpering]

[deep breath]

[harpsicord music playing]

[segues to dance music]

Let us revel! Look out below! - [cheering]

Whoo-hoo! - Ha ha ha! Hoo ha ha ha! Ha ha! [screeches]

Forward! [screeching]

[loud crashing]

[River]

Aha! [monkey screeching]

[snoring]

[groans]

[screeching]

Get away.

[dance music playing]

Keep it going! [laughs]

Whoa-ho! [exhausted cheering]

Hot Tub's outta water! I need this! Ha ha! Yaah! [screeching]

[loud crashing]

[snoring]

Aha! [screeches]

[chattering]

Oh, no.

Well, you're free now, little monkey.

[chuckling]

[needle scratching]

Hey! Can someone come and fix my thing? Looks like I've got to go wake somebody up.

FoolDuke! Wake up! [gasps]

Ah, FoolDuke, ha! My music thing isn't working.

- I need you to take a look at it.

- Where's my monkey? Oh.

Oh, that was your monkey? Can't say that I've seen him.

Not to be rude, but there are more pressing matters, you see.

- [whirring]

Uh - Uh, Star? Wow, this place is a mess.

- Marco! - Oh, hey, River.

Marco, my boy! I can't believe you're here! [whispers]

Have you seen FoolDuke's monkey? - Uh no? - Well, we better keep an eye out.

I threw him Uh? [crunching]

Well, what's this? Oh, well, they were Captain Blanche's Sugar Seeds.

It's, uh, Star's favorite cereal.

You can't get them on Mewni, so I brought her a box.

Marco, you're not giving that to my daughter.

It's all smashed.

Probably a good thing she's not here.

[groans]

Now there must be some other way to summon forth the music.

We will rock at you.

Look, River, I gotta say I'm pretty worried about Star.

She left Earth in kind of a hurry.

- She's not in trouble or anything, right? - No, not at all! She and her mother just took a little trip, and Moon Pie asked me to keep up morale in the kingdom until they get back.

So we've been rippin' it nonstop for days! I I don't know, man.

Have you looked outside? What do you mean, "Have I looked outside?" What I mean is, morale doesn't look so high to me.

[townsfolk yelling]

What are you talking about, Marco? The people are happy if their king is happy.

Let me show you.

Greetings, my gleeful subjects! [townsfolk grow quiet]

Huh? Ah! Funny story! My know-it-all friend, Marco Diaz here, seems to think you're not having a good time.

And I said, "That's impossible.

" Of course you're having a good time with all these good times I'm having.

So tell me, are you not lifted?! Whoo! [Scottish accent]

How's about you lift some of this garbage out of the streets? [flies buzzing]

Huh? Huh? Is that what that stuff is? I thought you were all having a garage sale.

What are you gonna do about the burning building?! Ah, you have to let one burn every once in a while.

How else will you have room for a new one? [cockney accent]

Well, what about the monster in the cornfield? There's no monster in the corn [growling]

Huh.

Well, I'll be dipped.

Well, I should be able to take care of that.

[knuckles cr*ck]

Hey, you there! Move along! Scram! Get out! [growling]

[River, faintly audible]

We don't want you here! [footsteps thudding]

Don't worry! She'll never make it past the magic shield.

[screaming]

The beast cometh! There's still the moat! Yes.

She'll never make it across the magic moat! The magic traffic cones? We're about to die, y'all! Run! [townsfolk screaming]

Hey! Thanks for partyin' us all to our deaths! He's right.

I'm not fit to rule.

[stammering]

Uh, wait a minute.

[slams]

Hey! [crying]

[pounding]

You locked me out! Oh, no.

Now I lock you on the balcony.

It's okay.

Just unlock the door.

[crying]

I can't do anything right! [sobbing]

I can't do anything right! [straining]

Hey! Pull yourself together, man! Moon should never have left me in charge.

"The people love you," she said.

"Keep them happy and safe," she said.

And now, because of me, the kingdom is defenseless! [party horn toots]

Moon didn't even tell me where she was taking Star.

What if something happened to them? No wonder I want to party all the time.

I'm worried sick! I'm worried, too.

Star just left.

Do you have any idea when she'll be back? It's funny you should ask, Marco.

Let me show you something.

Whenever Moon goes away, she always puts together a few outfits for me, so I know what to wear while she's gone.

But But look at this! She's got them piled up all the way to the top of the room.

[chuckles]

So it's probably she's not coming back anytime soon, is she, Marco? [sobbing]

I don't know.

But they can't ever come home if they don't have a home to come home to.

[growling]

Oh, right, yes, I see what you're saying.

This is the end of everything.

[whimpering]

No! It means you have to go lead your people.

But they hate me! They've never hated me before.

It doesn't matter.

You're the only king they have.

You sound just like my wife.

And that's just what I need! My people! Please, listen! [screaming]

We all Ow! Okay, I deserved that.

Look, if the Queen were here, she'd fix all this with her magic! Well, she's not here! But that doesn't mean we should cower in fear.

We still have each other, and together, we can defeat this monster! No offense, King, but you're a terrible king! You're right.

I stink at this.

But right now, I'm all you've got, and you're all I've got.

[screaming]

We can't do anything! We don't have any weapons or magic! We don't need magic to do extraordinary things.

Dentist! Construction worker! Remember when you two worked together [music]

to dislodge that tooth-shaped rock in the road? Blacksmith! You worked with the turtle sanctuary to make iron shells for the turtles in need! [clanking]

And you two weirdos hold the record for the longest staring contest! - Wha? - Whoo-hoo! Aw, man, I lost! We all can do something unique and helpful, and that's Mewni's greatest strength! And it's what Queen Moon loves the most about all of you! [all agreeing]

Yeah, we are pretty good! Uh, I don't think any of that's gonna help us defeat the monster.

[footsteps thudding]

So what do you say? Let's show that monster what happens when it messes with Mewmans! [cheering]

Huh! FoolDuke, fetch us our loincloths! What? Ha ha! [townsfolk shouting]

- [licks]

He's near! - Yeah, he's right there.

Hey, monster! [growls]

Go away! Go away? But you're the one who called me over.

- What? I didn't call you over.

- Yes, you did.

You kept motioning, "Come here, come here.

" Oh, no.

I was motioning, "Go away, go away!" Oh, no.

That's, "Come here, come here.

" - No, it's, "Go away, go away!" - Ohh! So you're telling me I came all this way for nothing? I got, like, a thousand splinters on this foot.

- Help! - You might consider widening the streets a little.

What a waste of my day.

[townsfolk cheering]

We did it! Everyone, I'm holding one final off-the-chain party at the castle in honor of all of you! Three cheers for King River! Hip hip, hooray! - Hip hip, hooray! - [Ludo, late]

Hooray! - Hip Hip - Hooray! Hip hip, hooray! [rats squealing]

She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'Cause she will keep the lights on Oh, there goes a shining star Evil won't deter her 'Cause magic flows through her She is a shining star