05x01 - God Laughs

[bunniefuu]

My mother always used to say,

"people plan, and God laughs."

Which is funny, because Bizzy
didn't even believe in God.

Do you?

I...

I don't know.

I mean, the idea of something
bigger than me, a God,

being in charge of my life
is somehow comforting, I guess.

But it's also...
Unsettling.

I-I think, if there is a God,
he doesn't want to hurt us

or judge us.

Hurting and judging
are distinctly human traits.

It's a letter
from the medical board.

They're suspending my license,

and they're coming after
the practice.

- I met a guy.
- We're gonna have to tell each other

who we are sooner or later.

- I can't come with you to Fiji.
- Why not?

What do you have
holding you here?

Look, I just slipped.

Starting now,
your surgical privileges

at this hospital are revoked.

- Violet, if you run away again--
- Again?

You dropped Lucas in my lap
and you ran!

I'm going.

Oh!

I missed you.

I missed you, too.

I'm still gonna want
a baby, Sam.

I want to believe
in a God who's...

Who's like the kind of parent
I hope to be one day...

Accepting...

Loving, forgiving, present.

I mean, life's too hard
to believe in the other kind.

Don't you think?

♪ go on, tell me,
where is the sexy people at? ♪

That was, uh...

- Different.
- Better.

Amazing.

That was amazing.

Why did we break up?

You really want me
to remind you?

No.

No, I don't.

Okay.

- Mm.
- Sam.

No, just ignore it.
Stop, stop.

No, Sam, it's the hospital.

I'm not on call.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

Yeah?

Oh.

This is Dr. Bennett.

♪ ...Really care
what anybody ♪

♪ anybody, anybody thinks ♪

Okay.
I'll be right there.

♪ Control me,
love me, kiss me ♪

♪ touch me ♪ (Man) ♪ come on ♪

♪

♪ I don't really care... ♪

Take it off.

I'm gonna need
another drink for that.

I can make that happen.

Bitch, get off the bar.
We're not in Vegas.

Hey. Whoa. Hey.
No need for name calling.

We can all be friends.

Come dance with me, sister.

Guys like
a little girl on girl.

♪

See...

Now I see a need
for name calling...

Bitch!

Ohh!

♪ I don't really care ♪

Son of a...

♪ C-c-care ♪

Y'all suck as a mosh pit.

♪ I-I-I don't really care ♪

Attention, passengers
on flight 531 to New York,

we apologize
for the ongoing delay.

We're working to correct
an issue

with the hydraulics system

and will announce
a new departure time

as soon as we have one.

- Thank you.
- Maybe the delay is a sign.

No, it's not.
We made the right decision.

It's time to go home.

Oh, really?

I don't know.
I feel like

- I should go back to my mother's house.
- Come on, Jo.

You don't throw away 12 years
of marriage over one fight.

Trust me.

You'll see.

Okay? We'll...
We'll work it out,

like we always do.

This time is different.
You know that.

This time, I don't know
if we can fix it.

Damn it. Again.

Sam.

Not now.

Sam, how long has he been down?

- 45 minutes.
- You have to call it.

No.

- Sam, call it.
- Mnh-mnh.

Time of death...

10:17.

Thanks for coming in.
Duncan was on call,

but he got stuck in the O.R.
doing an aortic valve.

No problem.
Uh, if you're good here,

I was thinking about
heading back home.

Hey.

I didn't know
that you were--

yeah. Uh, I have a mother--

uh, with triplets,
went into early labor.

And they already have twins,

- so I am going to retire on that family.
- Hmm.

Did you deliver them yet?

No, no, she hasn't dilated yet.

Okay, so you're still waiting.

'Cause I was thinking--I'm--

- I think I'm done for the night.
- Oh.

Yeah. So--
well, good news.

Pete never showed up
for his shift, so, Sam,

you can fill in.

- You can keep Addison company all night.
- Okay.

As long as you stop pretending

that you two
aren't back together,

because you can't sell it,

and it's making me
uncomfortable.

Wait.
What happened to Pete now?

Oh, he's probably upset
'cause Violet went to New York.

What?

Yeah, I saw her at the airport.

What were you doing
at the airport?

I was, uh,

saying good-bye to Nai.

Hold on. Violet just left?
She didn't say anything?

To you. I'm sure she had
some things to say to Pete.

Which is probably
why he's upset.

Well,
he coulda been upset here.

Lord knows there are enough
people around to cheer him up.

Mm. Pete's hard to cheer up.
He can get really dark.

Maybe I should go over there
and see if I can

get him out for a drink

or I don't know,
give him some time,

take Lucas out
for ice cream or something.

Either way, have a ball.

I'll be here...
With Sam and Addison.

I need coffee.

Can I get you anything?

No, I'm fine.

God.

Thank you.

I'm sorry. I don't usually
melt down in public like this.

Oh, please.

Airports are like hospitals
or high school dances.

Somebody's crying somewhere.

I'm-- I'm Violet Turner.

Joanna Gibbs.

I heard you talking
to your husband.

I'm so sorry.
I never eavesdrop.

But what are you gonna do
in a place like this, right?

No, it's... it's fine.

We're fine.

I'm sure.

I keep telling myself
the same thing.

I wrote a book, and I'm going to
New York for this book tour,

but I left my son
and my husband at home.

And that's created
a little bit of...

Drama.

But I guess that's what
marriage is, right?

You fight, you work it out.

Rinse. Repeat.

Yeah, sometimes
it feels like that.

You just have to
remind yourself,

it moves
the relationship forward.

Unless you're always fighting
about the same thing.

I'm a lawyer.
I work horrendous hours.

And David, my husband...

He doesn't get it.

No.

He used to.

He's always been
incredibly supportive.

You know, most men put
their own careers first.

♪ you should try me ♪

David held down two jobs
to pay for my law school.

♪ Come down and look around ♪

And then he listened to me bitch
for eight years

while I worked round-the-clock

trying to make partner
at the firm.

And then when I finally did,

I think it meant as much to him
as it did to me.

♪ ...Rushing through my veins ♪

You don't see that often
in husbands.

I know.

The problem is...

Things haven't gotten
any easier at the firm, and...

All of a sudden,
he's not like that.

♪ Makes no difference ♪

I don't know.
Something in him changed.

♪ We can try ♪

I came out here to...

Get away, I guess.

Well, sometimes distance can
give you a little perspective

on a relationship.

Yeah.

When David
flew out, he was so apologetic.

I know he's right.

In the heat of the moment,
you say or do things

you wouldn't...

When you say "do things"...

♪ She said,
you keep my world... ♪

W-what happened?

♪ Keep you where
do you remember when ♪

Last time we fought...

♪ I said, that's why... ♪

David hit me.

♪ And I'll come
looking for you ♪

♪ Every chance I get ♪

Come on, Pete.
I know you're in there.

I saw your car out front.
Come on, man.

♪ It's the wrong
space and time ♪

I also know that Violet
left for New York today

and that that sucks.

I brought some beer.

I thought I could come in,
and we could commiserate.

Or I could leave the beer

and I'll take Lucas out
for a little bit.

Lucas?

♪ Maybe, baby ♪

Pete!

♪ ...And time ♪

Look, man, I really do not
want to see your ass again,

but I am a little freaked out,
so I'm coming in, okay?

Pete, I'm coming in, okay?

♪ Try ♪

Pete.

Pete.

♪

All right.
Uh, 326 Las Brisas. Come now.

Okay, stay with me, Pete.

No, it's his house.
His name is Pete Wilder.

I think it's a heart att*ck.
I got no pulse. I'm starting c--

Four, five, six.

Okay, stay with me, Pete.

Ambulance is on the way.
Lucas?

15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Lucas, come out here, buddy.

20.

Lucas, I know it's scary,

but we're taking care
of your dad, okay?

Hey.

You okay?

I know it's scary, but we're
just helping your dad, okay?

He's gonna be okay.
I promise.

Come on, Pete.
Come on, man.

There he is,
my knight in shining armor.

You okay?

Fell down, need stitches,

didn't think I should drive.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah.

You didn't think
you should drive

or the bartender
took your keys?

Tomato, tomahto.

Amelia, y--
You're drunk.

Not quite.

I was on my way to being drunk

when all of the unfortunate
bleeding interrupted my evening.

What happened to AA, huh?

My problem was with pills,
Sheldon, not booze.

Tomato, tomahto.

You tomahtoed me
back. That's clever.

I like that.
I like you.

Well, I like you, to
but I'm worried about you.

Oh, please don't be.

And you're a drug addict
using a drug.

Just because
it comes in liquid form

doesn't mean it's not a drug.

And addicts using dr*gs
have consequences,

for example,
you need stitches in your hand--

Your Hopkins-trained
neurosurgeon hand.

And that-- That is a potentially
severe consequence, and I--

Amelia.

Relax, Sheldon. I'm not
trying to sleep with you.

I just needed you to shut up

so that you could give me
a ride to the hospital,

and I won't bleed to death
in the street.

Could you do that for me?

Yeah.

I'll lecture you more later.

I figured.

Has he ever hit you before?

No. Never. No.

His hours are getting
cut back at work.

Mine are getting worse,
so he's always home, stewing.

I know it's a cliche,

but it really was
at least partially my fault.

Do you really believe that?

We were supposed to go
for a run in the park,

and... at the last minute,

a client wanted
a conference call.

Not the first time
this has happened.

And we just...

Fell into our same pattern.

He got mad.
I got defensive.

We ended up fighting
for so long

that I was going to miss
the call anyway, so...

I texted... my assistant
while he was talking.

I know it drives him crazy,
but I did it anyway.

And he... reacted...

Badly.

So you came out here.

See my mother.

And what does she have to say
about what happened?

She adores David.

I couldn't bring myself
to tell her.

Do you have any good friends
in New York?

Great ones, actually.

I have a group from college
and law school,

plus some great women at work.

Have you told any of them
what happened?

You haven't told anyone.

Things like this...

Are not supposed
to happen to women like me.

How's he doing?

His pulse is thready. He hasn't
regained consciousness.

- I'll take Lucas. - So we still don't
know how long he's been down?

- No.
- Did you get ahold of Violet?

No, I left messages.
I think she's in the air.

Did you give him
any antiarrhythmics?

Yeah, we bolused him times 2.

All right, I need an EKG,
chem 20,

enzymes, and a CBC.

He's on the monitors.

All right, give it to me.

He's having trouble breathing.
We need to control his airway.

- I'll intubate.
- I've got the chart right here.

All right, ST elevation
in the anterior leads.

- He's having an acute m.I.
- How's it comin', Coop?

I can't visualize the cords.

- He's in V-fib.
- All right. Almost there. Almost there.

Charge 'em to 360.

Clear.

- Cooper!
- Ow.

You okay?
I'm all right. I'm all right.

All right, he's back in sinus,
but we gotta get him

to the cath lab and open those
blocked arteries now. Now. Cooper.

- Go. Go, go, go.
- Come on. Come on. Let's go.

I'm okay.

This is very MacGyver of you.

Shut up.

You gonna fashion a b*mb out of
nothing but your bra strap

and that suture kit?

Stop thinking about
my bra strap, Sheldon.

Yeah, actually, I was thinking
that the E.R. would be

a more suitable place
for sutures.

Why don't we page Dr. Freud
and ask him

why you talked about
my underwear instead?

Do you always use
sexual innuendo

to deflect potential conflict
or is...

No, not always.
Only with men.

Could you hold this?

- Aah.
- Why aren't we in the E.R.?

Because interns do sutures
in ERS

and interns suck.

But why else?

Amelia.

I don't want
to run into Charlotte, okay?

She'll start quoting
the AA big book at me,

and I am in no mood.

I see. So sexual innuendo
for men,

and with women, it's...

- Avoidance.
- Got it.

And you're planning to suture
your hand yourself?

Well, I was hoping
you could help.

I'm a shrink.
I suck worse than the interns.

No.

In that case, yes,

I'm planning to suture
my own hand.

But you have to give me
the sh*t to numb it.

Can you handle that or is
my bra strap too distracting?

Hey.

Hey.

Where is Pete?

They, uh, took him to, um...

The cath lab.

How's he doing?

S-Sam had to, um, paddle him

to get his...
His rhythm back,

but, you know, fine.

How are you doing?
Are you okay?

Uh... either Pete has
a really narrow trachea

or somebody handed me
the wrong size e.T. Tube,

because... I wasn't
quite done intubating him

when Sam yelled "clear"...

Oh.

And I got a little...

Oh, Coop.

I-I'm just a little...

- Spacey?
- Uh...

- Tingly?
- Yeah.

Oh.

I remember, my first year...
Of residency,

I scrubbed in on
an abdominal hysterectomy,

and, uh, I was standing
down by the patient's knee,

so I had to lean in
to get a better look.

Midway through,
her heart stopped.

I remember the attending

grabbing the paddles,
calling "clear."

I lifted my hands up,

but my entire stomach
was still touching her legs.

Mommy.

When I got to the house,

he was... under
the dining room table, hiding.

He saw?

Sweetie, you're gonna be okay.

We gotta figure out a way
to get in touch with Violet.

It's not like I didn't want
to tell somebody.

I... I don't know
how to talk about it.

You're doing great.

Because you're a stranger.

But my mother, my friends--
I'd be too embarrassed.

Everyone knows

Joanna Gibbs, phi beta kappa,

order of the coif,
youngest partner at the firm.

If I tell them what happened,

I'll just be
Joanna Gibbs, battered wife.

Here he comes.

- Go to the ladies room.
- What?

Go to the ladies room.
I'll meet you there.

The coffee in here
smelled kinda grim,

so I went out to the terminal.

I got a you a vanilla latte
in case--

I have to go to the bathroom.

Jo, are you all right?

Is she okay?

I don't know.

The vessel's tight.

- He's still having runs of v-tach.
- Lucas.

- I'm having difficulty inserting
the stent. - Lucas.

He's fine.
He's with Addison.

Sam.

Is his face...

It's not good.

Muscle paralysis, right side.

Either his heart
was stopped long enough

that he's already had some
brain damage or there's a bleed.

We should page Amelia.
Let's pray this is reversible.

Get the neuro on call here now.

It should be Amelia.

We'll take whoever's closest.

The catheter
dissected his coronary artery.

He's bleeding into his chest.
Start compressions.

We lost his pulse.

We gotta get him to the O.R.,
get him on bypass.

We're not gonna have
enough time.

Just do it.
Just do it. Go.

Sam, his eyes.

All right,
there's just enough circulation

to perfuse his brain.

- Don't stop.
- I'm tryin'!

Mm. Is that it?

Yep.

How are you?

Y-you okay?

Nothing will sober you up

like repeatedly puncturing
your own flesh with sharp metal.

Oh, yeah.

I need a drink.
You wanna come?

How about I take you
to a meeting instead?

How about you stop sounding
exactly like Charlotte?

Are you on call?

Were you drinking
while you were on call?

God, Sheldon.
No, I'm not on call, but--

But they are paging me anyway.

Amelia.

What's going on?

Did Charlotte call you?

No, but I just got
a page from Sam.

Why do you have Lucas?

You guys, what's going on?

Hi.

Are you okay?

David is not a violent man.

This...
Was just a fluke.

But you left him
to go somewhere safe.

Do you have any reason
to doubt that instinct?

You don't understand
the relationship

that David and I have.

Maybe not.

But I do know
what it feels like

to be the victim of v*olence.

I know how it feels when
the confidence and security

that you thought you had
goes out the window.

And if you ever want that back,

that sense of control
over your own life...

You can't just not tell anyone
and pretend it didn't happen.

Nobody ever really gets
to control their life.

You-- You meet a guy,

you fall in love,

you make all these plans,

and then...

Your husband's career
doesn't...

Work out the way
he thought it would.

He gets frustrated and angry
because who wouldn't?

I know how that sounds.

But marriage is complicated.

And you're not inside this one.

You make sacrifices
to get through...

He hit you.
The hard times.

- That's not a sacrifice. That's abuse.
- Okay.

We have to stop.

Because really...

What qualifies you
to define my relationship

and tell me what to do?

You seem like
a very nice person,

and I appreciate your concern.

I do.

But this is just
none of your business.

I have to... I have to
get back to my husba..

Does Violet know?

No, she's on a plane
to New York.

I called, I e-mailed,
I texted.

I don't have good news.

Pete's pressure
keeps bottoming out.

Sam took him to the O.R.
to put him on bypass.

What are you doing here?

I got a page
that Sam needed me.

Is Pete having
neuro complications?

Slurred speech
and a facial droop.

Probably a CVA.

Oh, God.

Buddle's on his way.

Well, I'm here now.

What happened to your hand?

My hand's fine.

I'm gonna go talk to Sam.

Amelia.

What happened to her hand?

She cut it.
It needed some stitches.

It's... It's fine.

What's happening?

He's on bypass. He's gonna need
a 4-vessel graft.

- He also may have a bleed.
- Why are you waiting?

Dye. He had
two long sessions of CPR.

The high-peak pressure

might have ruptured
one of his vessels.

There. If I get in now,
I can clamp it.

He's already on bypass. I have
four arteries to graft first.

By the time you're done, Pete'll
be lucky if he can drool.

Look, you take care
of your part, I'll do mine.

Okay, 11-blade...

- Let's prep for a left-side craniotomy.
- Potts scissors, now.

Clear the fluoroscope.
I'm gonna need a craniotome,

a joker, and some bone wax.

Stop.

Amelia, I said stop.

You know,
we should switch seats.

That's where I was sitting

for the Violet-Katie thing.

And?

Well, that turned out okay,
so...

I should sit there again.

And this is where
I was sitting when Dell d*ed.

Oh, well, even more so.

I wasn't here
either of those times.

I was operating, so...

No, okay, you can stay there,
but you and me...

How do y t think
Sam and Amelia are doing?

I think Sam and Amelia

are exactly who I'd want
in there, but...

But what?

Having everyone count on you
to save the life

of someone they love,

trying to set aside
your own feelings,

it's hard, that's all.

Hey, Lucas.

You hungry?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah? Let's try to go find
something good to eat.

There we go.

Call me
if you hear anything, okay?

Yeah.

Any word from Violet?

Not yet.

But this says her plan
hasn't left.

I mean, she's still gotta be
at the airport, right?

Can I do anything?

What the hell are you doing?

Pete's got an arterial bleed.
If I don't clamp it--

buddle's ten minutes out.

- He doesn't have ten minutes.
- What the hell is going on here?

She cut her hand.

- But I'm fine.
- Are you?

Charlotte, I'm fine.

You can say that
without any--

Hey, whatever's going on
between the two of you,

now is not the time
to work it out.

Amelia, can you cut?

- It's my left hand. I'm a righty.
- Okay, then.

I know this has been
a scary night.

And there's so many things
that have happened

that you shouldn't have
had to see.

It's not fair.

♪ if you need ♪

But you have your juice now,

so hopefully,
that's all that matters, huh?

So your daddy's gonna be okay.

He's got great doctors
working with him.

I think he's gonna be okay.

And your mommy is gonna
be here very soon,

so that's good.

Right?

But you know what?

Right now...

I'm glad that I'm here
with you.

♪ No one knows ♪

♪ I saw Cain ♪

♪ you can rely ♪

Attention passengers
on flight 531 to New York.

The mechanical problem
has been resolved.

You should proceed
back to your gate.

Boarding will begin
in 15 minutes.

Thank you.

Okay, you're right.
You did not ask my opinion,

and this is none of my business,
but just--don't do this.

- Don't get on the plane.
- What are you talking about?

I-I do know what it's like
to be in a complicated marriage,

but what's going on
between the two of you

- is a whole other thing...
- Jo, why is she--

- And you're not ready to go home.
- This is ridiculous.

So if you can't talk to
your mother, if you can't talk

to your friends, you can
talk to me, but don't go.

Okay, we're done
here. We're done.

Come on. Excuse me, are you Dr.
Violet Turner?

I have an emergency call
for you from Dr. Freedman.

♪

Coop?

♪ No one knows ♪

Oh, God.

♪ I saw Cain ♪

Violet?

♪ You can rely ♪

♪ rely ♪

Full belly.

That's good.

♪ Oh, you can rely ♪

♪ rely on me ♪

I know he's scared, but...

He can't really understand
what's going on, can he?

Well, it's hard to tell.

Kids absorb a lot.

And even if he doesn't realize
what's happening around him,

Lucas feels the crisis.

♪ Oh ♪

What'll it do to him?

♪ 'Cause you weren't down ♪

Well, usually,
there's some regression

in eating and toileting,

and periods where
he can't be consoled.

Is there anything else
that we should be doing?

We're doing it.
You're doing it.

He needs to be around
familiar people,

places, smells.

♪

More than anything,
right now he...

He needs Violet.

♪ You'll be right ♪

What if Pete doesn't make it?
I mean...

♪ You can rely ♪

That's a cataclysmic event
for a child,

one that we shouldn't
even think about

unless we need to.

♪ Oh, you can rely ♪

I didn't have a choice, did I?

I mean, Amelia was there.
It couldn't wait.

You did not have a choice.

And, you know, hopefully,

if she had any doubt
that she could do it,

she wouldn't have pushed
so hard.

Amelia never has any doubts.
That's what I'm worried about.

But it's Pete.

You did not have a choice.

What if one of us d*ed?

Are you seriously
asking me this right now?

When I was 14 and my dad
had that heart att*ck,

it scared the hell out of me.

But the worst part...

Was I remember being
in the hospital with my mom,

and she kept saying--

Not even to me,
she just kept repeating--

"I don't want to be
without him.

I can't be without him."

And I just...

Haven't you ever
thought about it?

Ever? Yes.

But at this moment,

it's not you and me
I'm worried about.

Would you get married again?

♪ Oh ♪

Would you not want me to?

I don't know. I guess...

I mean, I'd want you
to be happy, so...

♪ Oh ♪

You could get married again,

what about me?

I'd want you to be miserable
every day

for the rest of your life.

You asked.

Hello.

Hey, Violet.
Whose phone is this?

No, okay,
he's still in surgery.

Okay, I will check myself
right now, okay?

I'm checking.

Okay,
he's ready to come off pump.

You done yet?

Almost there.

I gotta get him off
this pump now, Amelia.

The vessel's done,
but I still gotta close.

Just take him off.

Okay. Arterial...

Off.

Venous... off.

Ok..

We got him back.

All right.
Got him back.

Hey, guys.
How's, uh...

We lost his pressure again.

All right, he's in v-fib.
Damn it.

Cooper, I need you to scrub in.

Pete's still in the O.R.
Cooper's checking on him.

I'm not gonna wait on Cooper.

Hey. Is he--

He's fine, Violet. Go.

Okay.

I'm not getting anything.

What can I do?

All right, charge again.

- It's not working.
- Sam.

Come here. Squeeze.

Give me 5 cc's of epi,
1 to 1,000.

Come on. Don't be gentle.
Squeeze.

Violet.

He's been in and out
of consciousness,

but the grafts are holding.

His cardiac output
is on target--

And he's gonna be okay?

Yeah.

He's gonna be okay.

Oh...

Recovery's gonna be tough,
but you know that.

And in a couple of weeks,

when you get around to making
those thank-you baskets...

Sam only saved his life once.

I saved it twice.

This is true.
Yep.

Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Both of you.

Uh, what am I supposed
to say to him now,

"I'm sorry"?

It sounds so pathetic, but I
do want to apologize--

for what?

I-- If I hadn't argued
with him and then left--

Oh, come on.

You did not cause this.

Violet, you c-- You couldn't
have done anything to stop it.

It was bad luck.

Yeah, go see him.
You'll feel better.

Yeah.

Oh, don't be worried

if he seems a little,
uh, euphoric.

His hormones are still
a little bit scrambled

from the anesthesia and bypass.

Wait a minute.

So you're saying Pete's in there
acting like Mr. Rogers

but with a zipper scar?

It'll wear off.

You better get in there.

Hey.

Oh, my God.

Oh, you are beautiful.

Oh, and my chest hurts.

Mm.

You had a heart att*ck.

Sam did a quadruple bypass.

Then you had a brain bleed,
so Amelia had to get in there.

Oh, that explains the headache.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Mm.

Oh.

You know what?

I know it sounds odd,
but honestly...

I think I'm okay.

Yeah, I-I think
that I can get up now.

Okay, okay. Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe--

Oh.
Okay, okay, okay.

Oh.

Oh.

I love you.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing's wrong.

You're okay,
and I'm here, and...

We fought.

And then I left...

Again.

And it felt like I was
going to something this time,

not just away,

but I know it probably didn't
feel that way to you.

And then Lucas...

If I hadn't gone,

maybe none of this
would've happened.

Violet, stop.

I'm okay.

You're okay, and Lucas is okay,

and that's all that matters,
right?

You are so beautiful.

Hey.

Hey yourself.

So good about Pete, right?

You know, heart's better,
head's fine.

I mean, that leak turned out
to be pretty large,

but I clipped it.

Rocked it
is actually what I did.

Hey, um...

Thanks for, you know,

saying that you were worried
about my hand.

I appreciate that.

You're not welcome, Amelia.

Okay.

What I mean by that is,
I will not enable you

and I will not protect you
anymore, not ever again.

It's a onetime deal.

Until you get
your sobriety in hand--

Look, I am not a drunk.

Charlotte,
I have never been a drunk.

The fact that you're trying
to draw a distinction

between booze and dr*gs
tells me you're in trouble,

- 'cause you know better...
- Mm-hmm.

And you been around long enough
to see how this goes.

Alcoholics go out on pills,
they go crazy.

Addicts go out on booze,

and they think they can
handle it, but they can't.

- I am fine.
- No, you're not.

The fact is, Amelia,
I care about you too much

to trust you right now.

Your privileges
are still suspended.

Next time someone pages you,
don't answer.

Okay, I swear to God,
if you start right now--

I was just gonna offer you
a ride home.

I'd appreciate that.

What's wrong?

I'm mad at you.

I couldn't be mad last night,

but now Pete's stable,
now you've seen him,

so now I can be mad,
and I am... really mad.

About what?

About you just picking up

and leaving your husband
and your problems...

It almost k*lled me
the last time you did it,

and you just did it again.

You're right.

Okay, you do not get to deal
with losing your license

by just getting on an airplane.

And you can't end
an argument with Pete

- by just leaving town.
- You're right.

This is your life, Violet.

You gotta stick around
and fight for it.

Wait, Cooper.
I said you're right.

And you need to get
a new cell phone

with a better battery.

(Addison) Hey.

Hey.

- Oh.
- There's mama.

Hi, buddy.

Aww.

Oh, I missed you so much.

It has been...
A crazy night.

He's been mostly sleeping,
but he did eat.

I mean, just cookies,
which I know isn't great, but--

Oh, it's fine.

Thank you, Addison.

All right.
You ready to go home?

Mm-hmm.

Just you and me?

Turns out I'm not going away
after all.

Uh-oh.

Hello.

Hey.

Joanna, you're still here.

No. No, no, no.
I really want to talk to you.

Life is hard.

It's hard and...

Scary and out of my control,

and that's the part
that makes me the craziest--

The fact that I cannot
control the world

or what happens
to the people I love.

You know, and the idea of me...

Having a kid, not being able
to control what happens...

♪

Yeah, but every day I...

Deliver a baby,

and every day I see...
That moment of change.

You know, that moment

when every cell in a woman's
body is transformed.

And whatever happens--whether
the baby is sick or healthy,

happy or unhappy,
lives or dies--

Whatever happens,

that woman will never be
just a woman again.

She will always be a mother.

She's transformed.

And it's exhilarating
and terrifying and...

♪

I want that.

♪ who comes
from nowhere anyway? ♪

I want it.

Sam hasn't changed his mind,
though.

As much as I want it,
he doesn't want it.

♪ I know ♪

But for today...

For some reason, that's okay.

♪ If it's all right ♪

Because I made an appointment
with a fertility specialist

who is
supposed to be amazing, and...

♪ One and the same ♪

I went.

There's just one thing
that's weird

and...
Potentially complicated.

People plan, and God laughs.

♪ ...When the clouds
came rolling in ♪

Hello.

Hello.

♪

You?

Wow.

Um, this is a-a nice surprise.

I-I'm, uh, I'm sorry.
I-I had no idea.

Well, it was your choice to skip
the preliminary consultation

in my office.

Everyone kept saying,
"fertility, Jake Reilly,"

like-- Like there was
no other choice.

Well, that--
That's flattering.

But Jake Reilly is you?

And you are...

Addison Montgomery.

Well, it's nice
to meet you, Addison,

officially.

♪ Always find a way ♪

Yeah.

Uh...

I, uh... shouldn't you
be in, uh...

Fiji or something?

Well, I-I was on the plane.
I got paged.

Turns out
another fertility genius

had, uh, loaded up a patient
with HCG

and nearly ruptured
her ovaries.

So I spent the night
in the hospital,

and I'm here to watch her
for the next couple of days.

Oh, I'm...

Sorry about that.

Yeah, it would've been
a great trip, but, uh,

you know, sometimes you have
more important things to do.

I figured that was
the decision you made,

and, uh...
Looks like I'm right.

Oh, no, no.

Me being here?
No, this has nothing to do

with why I-I didn't
get on the plane.

Anyway, listen, the, uh,
flirtation that we had,

that was fun.

I enjoyed that
probably as much as you did,

but, uh, I have no problem
leaving that in the past

and simply taking care
of you as a patient--

No, I-I don't think
you understand.

I mean, this doesn't
have to be awkward.

I have a boyfriend.

Will we be using his sperm?

♪ I know ♪

No, we will not...
Be using his sperm.

We won't be using
anyone's sperm.

Well, that-- That's gonna
make this hard.

We are not
gonna be doing anything.

All right.
Just-- Just take a breath.

♪ When you let me in ♪

It's okay.

Trust me, all right?

I'm gonna give you a baby.

♪

So how do I deal with that?