05x19 - And Then There Was One

[bunniefuu]

(Addison) I'll never forget
the first time

I introduced myself
as Dr. Addison Montgomery.

I was a resident in New York,
and I got paged to the ER

I was prepared for anything--

Emergency C-section,
breech baby, ectopic pregnancy--

But it was just
a routine delivery.

Woman's third kid.

She pushed, she screamed,
she held her daughter.

But... something changed in me

when I heard that woman
call me "Dr. Montgomery."

I felt like a superhero

who had taken on
another identity.

Honestly, I never thought
I'd feel that way again...

Until today.

I was sitting on the beach
in front of the house,

and this little girl named June

came over to see
what was inside the basket.

I told her

his name was Henry.

And then she asked who I was.

And I said,
"I am Henry's mom."

(Laughs)

Are you ready?

I guess so.

Okay. Just relax.

We're gonna see something
in a second.

Do you wanna know
if it's a boy or a girl?

I need to know everything.

Okay.

(Ultrasound whooshing)

Oh, my God.

There it is.

There...

He is.

(Laughs)

Oh. (Laughs)

Oh, he's beautiful.

Addison?

Addison?

Addison.

Addison?!

_

your migraines are the result
of vascular spasm.

You should get some relief
with the sumatriptan.

So there's no way it's a tumor?

You're sure?

I'm sure.

(Sighs and laughs)
Oh, thank you.

And I'm sorry for being
so self-involved.

When are you due?

A few months.

Oh, it must be so exciting.

(Laughs) I can't wait
to have one of my own.

You're carrying high.

I think that means
you're having a boy.

Do you know?

I have another patient.

Oh, sure. Good luck.

You doin' all right?

(Elevator bell dings)

I'm great.

(Henry fusses)

(Gasps)

(Laughs)

(Violet)
Hello, Mr. Henry. (Laughs)

I have an appointment
with Cooper.

Give me that baby.

(Laughs)

(Charlotte) Hello.

I've gotta admit,
that little rug rat's

- pretty cute.
- Right?

I swear, it is impossible
to feel bad about anything

when I'm around him.

I just wish I could
share it with Amelia, but--

Hey. Welcome back, Addison.

Thank you.
I-I'm not "back" back.

I'm just visiting.

Hey, there's the little man.

You, uh, you mind
if I hold him?

Sure. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Did you, uh,
get the basket I sent?

Yes, thank you.

I would've come over sooner,
but, you know,

- we doctors are carriers of all
sorts of viruses, right? - Oh, no.

- Of course.
(Deepened voice) - Come here, you.

- Uh, is this...
- Breast milk.

Okay. From?

From the milk bank, Sam.

It's not like I was
trolling the streets

looking for lactating--

Just--
Just don't touch it, okay?

Okay.
Don't worry about it.

So Amelia fired me as her OB,
and she's not speaking to me.

Is she talking to anybody?

You know what?
We've all tried.

But I think she needs
her space right now.

When she's ready,
she'll reach out.

(Baby-talk voice)
Now I have to go back to work.

But you come see auntie Vi
before you go, okay? (Laughs)

Is she getting
any prenatal care?

You know, I tried
to bring that up,

but she basically told me
to back off.

I don't want
to sound insensitive,

but are there any signs
that she's using again?

Mnh-mnh. I've been watching.
She seems clean.

Yeah, she's living in my home.

I think I would know
if she were.

Well, it's too bad
Sheldon's not around.

Maybe she'd talk to him.

Has anybody heard from Sheldon?

Oh, we got a postcard
from him. He's in Aruba.

- Aruba? (Laughs)
- Aruba?

What's he doing there?

(Charlotte) Apparently his
ex-wife left a guy at the altar,

but the honeymoon was paid for.

So he is her plus one.

(Sam laughs) Oh.

It's nice to have a plus one.

(Knocks on doorjamb)

So, uh, Mason...

Wet our bed this morning.

Please no lectures.

I'm not ready to force him
to sleep in his own room yet.

When do you think you will be?

I don't know,
but he won't even speak.

So the idea of exiling him
to his own room--

Well, don't think of it
as exiling.

Think of it as not
giving him special treatment

for unwanted behavior.

It's like I said

when he first stopped speaking,

y-you can't force him
to talk,

but he has to ask
for what he wants.

You know, treat him with
respect. Don't indulge him.

He may be a kid,

but he's a very smart kid.

Well, it feels like
he's not a kid anymore.

It feels like the moment
his mother d*ed,

his childhood was over.
It was done.

He cries in his sleep
every night.

My son is in a kind of pain
that I've never experienced,

and there's nothing
I can do about it.

Well, you're in mourning,
too, Cooper--

For Erica, for the loss
of Mason's innocence,

for the toll that it's
taken on you and Charlotte.

Just...

Don't let
Mason's regression deepen,

because once kids start
disappearing into themselves...

Okay.
I won't push him on speaking.

And I will...

Dehydrate him every night
before he goes to sleep?

(Laughs) You're gonna get
those waterproof mattress covers

and you're gonna put it
on the bed.

And you're gonna put him
in that bed,

wearing those pajamas
that ring a little alarm

when the kid pees
to wake him up.

And then he'll start
speaking again?

Hang in there, Coop.

It's gonna get better.

Look at those fingers.

Oh.

- Hey.
(Sam) - Hey, man.

Hey, yourself.

I was-- I was gonna head down
to the promenade

and grab a coffee.

You wanna-- You wanna
take Henry for a-a walk?

Oh, no, thanks. No.

We are just perfect

right where we are.

Huh?

(Laughs)

- See you later.
- Oh.

- All right, man.
- Hi, little boy.

(Man) What first attracted you
to each other?

- I--
- Oh, that's a great question.

Yeah, if we discuss what
first drew us to each other,

that'll reinforce
our connection.

Violet, you-- you are
obviously a very...

Talented therapist.

But in this room,
you're a patient.

(Laughs) You're right.
Right. You're right.

I'm-- I'm sorry.

So...

Pete?

Well...

Violet is a fighter.

The way she fights
for her patients,

how passionate she is,

it was-- It was hot.
(Laughs)

It was hot?

No, I mean, it still is.

It-- But...

We had a lot of fun

at the beginning.

(Laughs) We did.

And now?

Uh...

We're here to...

Put our family back together,

to-- to get our relationship
back to the way it was

at the beginning.

I mean, we're aware that
we can't go back, but...

Pete.

Yeah.

You look upset.

I'm not upset.

When Violet...
Corrected you just now,

you looked upset.

I-I didn't correct him,
did I?

Did I correct you?

I didn't notice.

You know, for two people
considering divorce,

this has been
a-an awfully polite session.

Yeah, we're not
considering divorce

so much as we're
considering reconciliation.

A-and since when is
being polite a bad thing?

(Violet) Well,
we tried Dr. Perkins,

but you said
he was too intense.

Then we went with your choice,
who wasn't even really a doctor.

Osteopathic medicine
is real medicine.

He was a real psychiatrist,
Violet.

We agreed on Whitehouse.

Can we please
just give him a sh*t?

(Man) Dr. Wilder!

What do you got?

Drea Spencer,
9-year-old female

found with
multiple s*ab wounds.

She's hypotensive.

Okay, let's get her
into bay one.

Crossmatch her times four.

Trauma panel--
Chest and abdomen.

That's my sister!
You have to save her!

- What's your name, sweetie?
- Missy.

Missy, you should not
be in here.

No, no, no, I need
to see my sister.

All right, I got a page
about a s*ab victim.

Yeah, we gotta get a handle
on this bleeding.

All right, I'll get
the central line started.

I told her I just needed
an extra half-hour

to finish my algebra and then
we were gonna make cupcakes,

but when I went in to get her,
she wasn't in her room.

And I kept yelling her name
and looking for her.

And then I-I heard the sirens

and-- and then the cars came
and stopped at the house.

Missy, we should wait outside.

I didn't know she left the house!
(Monitor beeping erratically)

(Pete) - We lost her pulse.
- Help her, please!

I need a thoracotomy tray.

Oh! Oh, my baby.

Oh, my God.
What happened?

Your daughter is suffering
from multiple s*ab wounds,

including one to the heart.

We need to get her to surgery
to repair it right now.

We need to stem the blood flow.
She's about to bleed out.

Okay, just do
what you have to do.

(Woman)
Please, you gotta help her.

- Violet.
- Please.

Everybody out. Now.
It's okay. All right.

Let's go.

(Rib spreader clicking) Missy.

(Beeping continues)

Missy.

Come on. It's okay.
It's okay.

(Beeping continues)

Hey, um...

I actually think we don't
have time for this now so I--

Mm.

Okay, maybe we do.

(Laughs)

(Sighs)

What did Violet say
about Mason and the peeing?

Your pillow talk
needs a little help.

(Laughs) I'm serious.
I wanna be...

Helpful, and if being in bed
with us is comforting,

I am all for it,

but I just don't want
to do the wrong thing.

She said that Mason needs
a little more tough love.

Mm. So what do we do?

Uh, we don't do anything.
Not yet.

Wait. What do you mean?

I mean, Violet's not wrong,
but I know Mason.

What he needs is time
and comfort.

He doesn't need
another challenge right now.

Is that really what he needs

or is that all you're
capable of giving him?

Okay, I have a patient
in 15 minutes.

We can either spend that time

discussing regressive
bed-wetting

or we can get our ya-yas out.

Up to you.

Take your pants off.

(Both pant)

(People speaking indistinctly)

I'm going home.

Hey, there's a, uh,
beauty pageant on tonight.

You want to come over
and make mean jokes

during the talent portion?

No, thanks.

(People continue
speaking indistinctly)

Look, are you taking
an iron supplement?

You look pale.

You don't want
gestational anemia.

Amelia...

I mean, there are no words
to describe how awful

and... unfair this is
to you.

And I get that, but...

I miss you.

I want you in my life.
I want you in Henry's life.

I-I want--

I understand what you want,
Addison.

I just don't care.

(Man) Somebody stabbed my baby.

How could that happen?

There's no logic to it.

You can't even begin to--
to rationalize it.

I can see what this is
doing to your wife.

How do you think Missy
is holding up?

What?

H-how do you think she's
doing with all of this?

Why does that matter?

Uh, well, there's, um...

Several very good doctors
looking after Drea

and this is
a very traumatic event,

so I was thinking if you'd like
me to, I can speak to Missy--

No.

Okay.

Can I ask you why?

I just...

Look, I don't need
another person

telling me she's careless
and has bad judgment

and-- and is heading
in the wrong direction, okay?

That's not what I was gonna
talk to her about--

My baby girl is fighting
for her life,

and how Missy feels
really isn't my primary concern.

I don't need a referendum
on my parenting.

I'm so sorry.

I can see how this is
upsetting you.

Please just leave us
the hell alone.

(Elevator bell dings)

How's the family holding up?

Mom's destroyed, dad's furious.

And Missy?

Uh, I don't know.
He won't let me talk to her.

She's probably still in shock.

Maybe.

Violet?

Well, her-- her affect
seemed a little off.

What do you mean?
She was upset.

Well, until she wasn't,
you know?

She was crying
and then she stopped.

It was like a-a performance
that she turned off.

What I saw was a little girl
who was traumatized

by seeing her sister
near death.

Everybody reacts differently
to something like that.

I realize that, Pete,
but my instincts

are telling me that
something else is going on.

I...
(Sighs)

I'm a shrink.
I do this for a living.

Yeah, and you do it at home

and the grocery store,
the dry cleaners.

Violet, you insert yourself
into people's lives.

You think you know them better
than they know themselves.

Can't you just turn it off?

No, I can't.

And ignoring a problem

doesn't mean
that it's gonna go away.

And I think there's
a big problem here.

Sometimes I think I'm living
with two 9 year olds.

(Chuckles)

Mason at least
is an actual kid.

But Cooper, ahh...
(Pours liquid)

He is just pitching a fit
because he doesn't want to do

what Violet thinks
he should do for Mason,

not to mention

what I think he should do.

(Exhales)
I could use a meeting.

You want to come?

(People speaking indistinctly)

And listen to you share
about how difficult it is

to raise a child?

Sorry.

I didn't mean it like that.

And what you're going through,
I know it must be--

No, you don't know.

You just don't.

Have you been going
to meetings?

You need to keep working
the steps--

Skip the Bill W. crap.
I am not gonna use.

So you and Addison

and Violet can all check me
off your to-do lists

and leave me alone.

♪

(Grunts)

(Man) ♪ I see you're
burning at the seams ♪

♪ there's fire underneath ♪

(Grunts)

♪ You don't know
what you need ♪

So that was pretty great,
seeing Addison, huh,

with the baby?

She looked happy.

(People speaking indistinctly)

You okay?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

♪ But make me want you ♪

♪ make me wait ♪

♪

♪ girl, you got
your sexy ways ♪

Look, the other day
in Addison's office,

I felt like I saw
a little something

going on between you two.

Come on, Sam.

Jake,

I was with Addison
for a long time.

I know her.

There was a vibe going on.

Tell me I'm wrong.

All right, look, we kissed
the day she got Henry.

It was-- It was no big deal.

♪ Can't help but make me
want you, make me wait ♪

And you-- you don't--

You don't think there's
anything wrong with that?

Oh, look, man, you weren't
interested in her

when she wanted
to get pregnant.

Now all of a sudden,
she's got a baby,

and you're mad at me
because I kissed her?

You're being ridiculous.
Come on.

And you're being
a son of a bitch.

♪

All right, Henry,

let's talk nannies.

Lisa has a degree
in early child development.

Oh, but the way
she smacked her gum

the entire time
she talked with us

was a little disconcerting.

(Singsongy) Next.
(Normal voice) Keisha.

Premed, interested in peds.

She engaged you
without being condescending.

Definitely worth
a second interview.

(Indistinct conversations)

Jake kissed Addison.

And that bothers you.

Well...

Addison and I, we--
we kissed that day, too.

So...

At the same time?

This isn't funny, man.

(Chuckles) I'm sorry.

I know this isn't
what you want to hear,

but you and Addison-- Nobody
can keep up with you two.

You're on again, off again,
kissing, fighting,

babies, no babies, I--

So are you defending Jake?
Is that--

No, I'm just saying, I can see

how he would think
Addison is fair game.

Look,

if you really want
to be with Addison,

get off your ass and tell Jake
to back the hell off.

I put something new
in your lunch today.

(Chuckles) Moonpie.

It's pretty delicious.

It is for dessert if you eat...

(Closes zipper)
Your hole sandwich.

You can toss it
if you don't like it,

and we'll try something else.

Okay?

Mase...

What are we gonna do with you?

You're not talking to me.

You're not talking
to your daddy.

Your teachers say you won't
talk to anyone at school.

You don't really want to go
through life like this, do you?

(Sighs) Look...

(Sniffles)

I know you're hurtin'

in a way a kid never should.

I lost my daddy as an adult,

and it nearly wrecked me.

So this...

I can't imagine.

I've tried to be the person
in your life

who always tells you
the whole truth,

even if it's hard.

And that's what I'm doing now.

You can't not communicate.

It's gonna make it impossible
for anyone to help you.

So right here,

right now,

you can say whatever you want.

But you have to say something.

I'm starting to forget things.

Like what?

The way my mom packs lunch.

The kind of things
we'd talk about.

It makes me sad.

(Inhales and exhales)

I can see how that would.

We can talk about that.

We can talk about anything.

I don't want to.

I know my mom wanted us
to talk about her.

And I know you and my dad
want things to be normal.

But I don't feel normal.

And I don't want to talk.

(Clicks)

(Respirator hissing
and clicking)

(Amelia) No spontaneous breath.

That's consistent with her EEG.

Drea is brain dead.

(Monitor beeping rhythmically)

(Hissing and clicking continue)

(Beeping continues)

Amelia, are you--

I'll be fine.

Why don't you let me
tell the parents anyway?

This has nothing to do with
what's happening with me.

Amelia.

(Exhales)

I'm gonna tell the parents.

(Exhales)

(Door slides open)

(Crying) What does that mean,
brain dead?

It means, she's not gonna
come out of this coma

and she can't breathe
on her own.

Brain death is more of
a-- Of a clinical determination.

The-- the questions that
you're gonna be processing

are less medical
and more spiritual.

You mean, do we take
Drea off the respirator?

And if so, when?

(Violet) That's right.

Well, how long can she stay
like she is?

We can keep her breathing
on the respirator indefinitely.

But she won't wake up,
and her body

will just continue
to deteriorate.

Oh, God.

So there's no decision to make.

Well, sometimes,
in situations like this,

a family will decide to donate
their loved one's organs.

You mean, like, cut her open
and take everything out?

Missy, would you like
to take a walk?

No.

Yeah, you know, actually,

that--
That's a good suggestion.

No, I-I don't want
to miss any of this.

There's a-- There's
a cafeteria downstairs.

No, I want to stay here.

You heard your mother.

(Huffs)

(Knock on doorjamb)

Hey, I just, uh,
wanted to check in.

Addison send you?

No, but, uh, I know

you two aren't...

Look, I don't know if you've
picked another OB yet or not,

but if you wanted to talk
about your options...

What options?

This is way past the time
for termination.

Well, there's still
a future to plan for.

My baby has no future.

But you do.

(Scoffs)

So what, we're gonna hold hands

and talk about my feelings?
(Sighs)

I'm sick to death
of people wanting

to discuss my feelings.

That's your business.
Not mine.

Thank you.

But you're a doctor,

so you know you need
blood and urine tests.

Prenatal care is not
just about the baby.

I'm here about your health,
Amelia,

and...

I'm here about you,

because you do have a future.

Is it...

The dr*gs I took...

Did I do this to my baby?

Absolutely not.

Listen to me, this...

This was a bad spin
of the genetic wheel.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Hey, this is not your fault.

(Sobs)

(Sniffles)

(Crying)

I know what happens

when they take someone
off of life support.

A lot of times,
they don't die right away.

They gag and struggle,

and it gets all messy.

Did what...

Did what happened
to your sister

scare you?

Well, it would scare me.

(People speaking indistinctly)

You know, I was att*cked once

and stabbed.

Somebody cut my baby out of me

and left me on the floor
of my house bleeding to death.

You know, sometimes, I...

Sometimes, I wonder what
the woman who att*cked me felt

when she was holding
that Kn*fe...

Coming toward me.

I mean, well,
she probably felt...

Powerful,

like she had all the control.

You know, like she could...

Hurt you or k*ll you or...

Do anything she wanted.

But I could be wrong.

I mean, I-I had no idea
that I was walking into

what is obviously a totally
dysfunctional relationship

between two people
who have no idea

what the hell
they want from each other.

Maybe they're in love.

If she wants to be kissing Sam,

why is she kissing me?

Well, when we were going out, it
was a little different 'cause--

What?

You t--
You dated Addison, too?

You didn't know that?

Man, is there any guy in this
practice she hasn't dated?

Just the three of us
to my knowledge.

All right, so if you were me,
what would you do?

Well, Addison is, um...
(Chuckles)

She's beautiful, smart, funny,

but she's... complicated.

I couldn't make it work,
but if you can,

she's worth it.

(People speak indistinctly)

(Footsteps approach)

(Cooper) Oh.

I didn't think we were
doing this till later,

but I like your ambition,
Dr. king.

Mason talked.

What? That's-- That...
How'd you get him to do that?

I told him silence wasn't
an option anymore,

- that it was causing more
problems for all of us-- - Charlotte.

Coop, it worked.

Well, because you threatened him.

I didn't thr*aten him.

You just said that you told him
that silence wasn't--

Coop, I thought you'd be happy.

No, what I am is...
(Inhales) Concerned

that Mason is not
getting enough time

to grieve the way
that he needs to.

I mean, all due respect
to Violet,

and frankly, even less to you,

I don't want anybody
making this about us.

It is about Mason
and what he needs.

You really think
this little of me?

Again, Charlotte,
not about you.

(Pete) That's not a confession.

Well, if you had seen her
and heard her...

Did she actually tell you
that she k*lled her sister?

No, not in so many words.

- Then what are we talking about?
- My gut instinct.

(Chuckles)
I know I'm right on this.

Violet, no offense,

but you think you're right
about everything.

That's not fair.

Uh, listen, okay, I'm sorry.
I apologize.

It's just, you can't
go to the police

with your gut instinct.

Well, that's not the point.

Then what is the point?

What if she does this again?

♪

♪

(Knock on door)

I know you don't want
to talk to me.

You're right.

So just go.

I will, soon, but I love you

and I need you to listen.

You need a plan.
You need to figure out--

Don't you dare stand there
and tell me what I need.

Don't you dare.

My life has turned into
a horror show,

and all I can do is stand back
and watch it play out.

My baby has no brain.

No brain.

I am a damn neurosurgeon,

and my baby has no brain.

I would say God has
a sense of humor,

but there is no God.

No God would do this.

- I am so, so sorry--
- Just stop it.

Just don't look at me
with your pity and guilt.

I can't take it anymore.

Every time I look at you, I see

that perfect, healthy baby
attached to your hip,

and he smiles, and you smile,

and all of that joy makes me
want to scream

and claw your eyes out

and rip that child
from your hands.

(Voice breaking)
I am so angry at you...

And jealous of you...

Of this... life,

this-- this dream
of a life you have.

I wish I could be happy
for you, but I can't.

I can't because I hate you,
Addison.

I hate you, and I don't
have room for that

on top of all the bitterness
and pain

that is burying me
every single day.

I don't--
I have no more room.

(Man) ♪ sometimes ♪

I don't know if I'm
gonna make it through this.

But I know I can't do it
with you around.

So you need to stay
the hell away from me.

Just go away.

♪ A movie star's part ♪

Leave!

♪

(Crying)

♪ I'm so tired ♪

♪ of writing of cities ♪

♪ guess that you've guessed ♪

♪ which one this is ♪

♪ sometimes ♪

Hi.

(Speaks indistinctly)

Ohh. Come here.

Henry.

Oh, yes.

Hi, sweetie. (Kisses)

Come on, Sam.

Addison and I were
barely broken up

before you made a play for her.

Look, I'm done talking
about this.

Body wasn't even cold yet.

Look, you broke up with her.

She wanted a baby, and you ran.

I didn't run.

I left because I didn't want
to be a father again.

So why are you back now?

She's got a baby
that isn't going anywhere.

Because I love her.

Listen, Sam, don't take
this the wrong way,

but if she loved you back,
she wouldn't be kissing me.

Hey, she kissed us both

on the same day.

(Sighs) You know what?

We're not the problem.

So why are we arguing
about this?

(Violet) I would never
want to do anything

to make this worse
or more complicate

but Missy...

(Sighs) She's showing
some signs--

Risk taking,
fascination with death

and taboo behavior--

That are typically associated
with juvenile sociopathy.

I think Missy was involved
in Drea's stabbing.

That-- (Laughs)
That's crazy.

Tell her she's wrong.

Gary?

Gary.

(Gasping)

Jasmine, how can you
be this blind?

No, you're--
You're just upset.

Missy may have k*lled
our child.

Missy is our child.

So, uh, night-light is on

and we are right down the hall.

Hey, I have
a light day tomorrow.

I was thinking I could
pick you up after school,

we could go the park
or something.

Are you really sticking
with the no-talking thing?

Charlotte said you talked
to her this morning.

How was that?

I am frustrated because you
were condescending to me.

You completely dismissed
my totally justified concerns...

- No, I just didn't agree.
- About our patient.

- I didn't dismiss it. I d--
- No, dismissing is exactly what you did.

Oh, seriously, Violet?

Are you totally unaware
of how often you tell me

what I think, what I feel,
why I do what I do?

I-- She-- she forced me to get
in touch with my family.

Which turned out to be
a very good thing.

Or-- But-- but it wasn't
your call.

Oh, come on, Pete.

I am not Lucas.
I'm a grown man--

Well, and yet our toddler is
more in touch with his feelings

than you are and-- and better
at articulating them.

Okay, now that is a low blow.

Pete, you are
so emotionally cut off

and so unwilling to communicate
that I have no choice

but to analyze
and ascribe motive.

I don't even know
why our marriage is dying.

Honestly, Pete,
how did we get here?

I don't know,
but I'm sure we'll discover

that it was all my fault!

(Sighs)

(Sighs)

Why do you look so smug?

I'm just hopeful
for the two of you.

What you're reading as smug,
that's-- that's hope.

Were you not listening--

I was listening.

And it-- it was ugly.

But ugly can be honest.

Ugly can give the other person
a chance to change.

Ugly gives me hope.

When it was all about
being polite,

your marriage
didn't stand a chance.

I can't imagine your pain,
knowing what comes next.

But I do know this,

you're not dealing with it.

Charlotte, I'm fine.

That's crap.

Keeping everything
you're going through inside,

shutting out
the people who love you,

that's not dealing.

It's hiding.

You and I, we don't have
the luxury

of ignoring our emotions,
hoping they'll just go away.

That bites people like us
in the ass.

The only way you're gonna
get through this

is to let yourself

every heartbreaking,
gut-wrenching part of it.

You're right.

I just haven't been ready.

You want to go to a meeting?

Could we maybe sit here
for a minute instead?

Of course.

I'm just numb, Charlotte.

That's a start.

(Exhales deeply)

Remember when we were
talking about the woman

who att*cked me,

and you said
she probably did it

to feel more powerful?

At first I thought

you were so smart
to figure that out,

but now I think you're wrong.

I think she was
probably jealous.

I was having a baby,
and she wasn't.

And she...

Lashed out.

And I don't think
she was thinking about

what was gonna happen after,
to her or to me.

She was...
She was just crazy.

Well, maybe--

Come on, Missy. Why else
would you s*ab someone?

To know if you could
really do it.

Yeah. I don't think so.

I mean, to actually put
a Kn*fe into someone else,

it's...

It's really too scary
for most sane people.

It's only scary for a minute.

And then you push past that,

and you're just...
You're...

in it, and...

Well, maybe that's the way
it seems in movies

or-- or books that you've read,
but in-- in real life--

No, no, no, no

I'm talking about in real life.

(Whispering) I was the one
who stabbed Drea.

And it...
It wasn't that scary.

I mean, I knew I wanted to,

to see what it was like.

And it was...

It was the coolest thing
I have ever done.

(Normal voice) And I mean,
you're totally right,

I didn't think about
what comes after.

- You have the right to remain silent.
- Wait. Wait.

- Anything you say can and will
be used against you... - You-- What?

- In a court of law. You have the right to
have... - No, no, you said you understood.

- An attorney present during questioning.
- You need help, Missy.

No, no, no, no.
You said you understood.

Wait. No. Wait.
I thought you understood.

(Lowered voice) You okay?

(Lowered voice) Oh. (Sighs)

Yeah, he wouldn't go down
last night, so...

Now that he's finally asleep,
I didn't want to move him.

He looks so peaceful.

And my spine is actually
fused to this chair.

(Laughs)

So I know that you kissed Jake.

- I'm not gonna make a big deal...
- Sam.

Out of it, but--

I'm sorry about that.
Truly, I am.

But... (Sighs)

Uh, you, me, Jake--
That seems like a lifetime ago.

I am just...

Just consumed
with this little boy.

And now I'm just
a sleep-deprived mom..

In love with her child.

Hmm? (Kisses)

(Respirator hissing
and clicking)

(Monitor beeping rhythmically)

Oh, sorry.

I'm Dr. Shepherd.

I did your daughter's
neuro exam.

My wife
couldn't be here anymore.

Maybe that's easier.

Huh. There's no easy.

There's...

There's no good.

(Sighs) My family's destroyed,

and Missy is responsible

for my baby girl being gone.

How do I deal with that?
How...

How do I go on?

(Sniffles)

(Beeping continues)

I don't know.

Drea's life
should count for more...

For something.

(Sniffles)

Uh, Dr. Wilder
said something about...

Donating organs.

(Beeping continues)

You could do that.

She could do that.

And that would matter.

Right?

(Beeping continues)

To a lot of people...

That would matter a great deal.

(Crying)

You two got all tangled up

in here last session.

I'd like to unpack that

so we can understand

what you both really want
to communicate--

I have something to say.

You both think that if we...

Sit in our misery,
if we unpack it,

if we reexamine every fight
we've ever had,

that that's gonna get us
someplace new, is that right?

No, that's not exactly--

Uh, no, no, no, it's not exact,

but that's about right.

And I think the problem
that we're having

is that
I fundamentally disagree.

I-I want to have fun.

Yeah, I want to laugh.

I wanna-- I want us
to love each other,

because we do love each other.

And I think that is
more important

than unpacking all the crap

that we've been lugging around.

So... let's not unpack it.

Let's just--

Let's drop the damn suitcases.

Pete, you can't--

No. No, no, Violet,
don't answer now.

Don't. I-I know you.

I know you'll get defensive
and you'll make this about

me saying that what you do
doesn't work,

and that isn't what I'm saying.

I'm saying that what you do
isn't what I do.

And it's not what I want to do.

I just want to love you.

(First Aid Kit's "When I Grow Up" playing)

I love you, Violet.

♪

But I'm not gonna do this.

♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I want to be a forester ♪

- What did you say to him?
- Mason?

Yeah, how'd you get him
to talk to you?

Because whatever it was,
it's not working now.

And-- and he won't say
a word to me.

Come on, Coop.
I've been living through

the same thing you have until
I finally got him to talk.

Uh-huh.

Look, you're gonna
have to trust me.

No, what I have to do is
protect him. I'm his father.

And I'm his mother.

Erica was his mother.

Well, I'm sorry
if that hurts your feelings.

But you're not sorry
you said it.

(Clears throat)

♪ When I grow up ♪

♪ I want to live ♪

♪ near the sea ♪

♪ crab claws
and bottles of rum ♪

♪ that's what I'll have ♪

♪ staring at a seashell ♪

I need something good
to come of this...

♪ To embrace me ♪

My baby's life.

♪ Oh ♪

So...

I want you to help me
to stay healthy

and make sure
that everything's okay.

And then when I deliver,

I want to donate
my baby's organs

so he can save other babies.

Lots of other babies.

♪ When I grow up ♪

As many as we can, okay?

Okay.

♪ I want to live near the sea ♪

♪ crab claws
and bottles of rum ♪

♪ that's what I'll have ♪

♪ staring at a seashell ♪

♪ waiting for it ♪

♪ to emace me ♪

♪ oh ♪

Sheldon, it's me.

I know you're not there.

Maybe you're somewhere
without reception.

Anyway, um...

I hope it's nice

and your ex-wife is...

Whatever you want her to be.

I just... (Sighs)

♪ It goes way... ♪

I just wish you were here.

♪ I never liked that sad look ♪

♪ from someone who wants ♪

♪ to be loved by you ♪

♪ oh ♪

Hmm?

(Whispers) Oh, you got
just the right amount of drool.

(Normal voice)
Oh, look over there.

Uncle Sam and Jake.
(Both shouting indistinctly)

(Knock on door)

It's open.

Guess who's here.
It's auntie Violet.

Hey.

Hi.

(Singsongy) Hey, Lucas.
How you doing?

(Normal voice) You okay?

You sounded a little fried
on your message.

Pete walked out on therapy.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It was, um...

Weirdly romantic.

Yeah, I don't know
how to explain it.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah, I'm not breast-feeding.
Go ahead.

Get a couple glasses.
(Coos)

(Baby-talk voice)
And how are you?

(Normal voice) I'm great.

Oh, well, Amelia told me
that she hates me.

Addison, that sucks.

I know,

but I have to believe that
she's gonna get through it.

She will.
She totally will.

You just have to give her time.

You know, I waited so long
for this, you know?

When I finally got the call,
when it finally happened,

it was... a miracle.

You're my little miracle,

and I'm not gonna feel bad
about that.

I won't feel guilty
about it, so...

That is incredibly evolved.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess so.
And you know what else?

Jake and Sam--

I mean, Sam knows I kissed
both him and Jake,

and that's okay, too.

They're over there bonding over
their shared contempt of me...

(Laughs) And you know what?
I'm okay with that.

I am.

For the first time in, like,

oh, I don't know, forever,

I have exactly the man
that I want. (Kisses)

This guy.

Amen.

Cheers.

(Addison) How much time
do we have left?

Uh, still about 20 minutes.

(Laughs) Okay.

I am way too happy to be here.

I'm gonna take my boy home.

Oh...
(Coos)

Yes. (Kisses)