04x02 - Escape from the Pie Folk

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Star vs. the Forces of Evil". Aired: January 18, 2015 – May 19, 2019.*
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Series follows the adventures of Star Butterfly, the young turbulent heir to the royal throne in the dimension of Mewni, who is sent to Earth to mellow her reckless behavior.
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04x02 - Escape from the Pie Folk

Post by bunniefuu »

[title music]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird, gonna have a good time I ain't from round here, I'm from another woo-hoo Yea-ah I'm talking rainbows, I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-puh-puuuh It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension [music]

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, Mom, where are you? Star, wait! Look, I want to find your mom as much as you do, but trust the pie folk here, and you'll lose everything.

Even your mind.

You guys obviously aren't from around here, huh? Ha! What are you talking about? This is our home.

Did you not notice that we're dressed in the traditional garb of the pie folk? Yeah, whatever.

Anyway, if you're gonna leave, you should have somebody keep an eye on your boat.

I'll be happy to do it for a few bucks.

Good idea! Just allow me to grab my things.

Yah! - Dad?! - Aight.

I'm out.

That's right! Run away! - I won't be swindled by you and yours! - Dad, what are you doing? Oh, can't you see he's a racketeer? That scoundrel wants us to pay him to protect our boat from himself.

We have to stay ahead of these schemes if we're going to find your mother.

- Now, where's Marco? - [Marco]

Here.

- Uh, where's the boat? - I sank it.

- Where's the bloodhound? - The sales guy said that only a fool would use a bloodhound to track someone.

So, I bought this instead! [chitters]

- You got a monkey.

- No, Pumpkin, he got swindled.

No.

It'll work.

Just look at his beauty mark.

Our spirits are bonded.

Have him sniff the pie.

[sniffs]

Now, go find Queen Moon! [yelps]

Is that my wallet?! [chitters]

But But we're spirit bonded! [chittering]

[Marco]

No! Not the beauty mark! [laughs]

[clicks tongue, chitters]

Monkey, no! You see, Star? Swindled.

Uh, Star? Aw, hey there, little guy.

Do you think you can tell me where they make these pies? Sure, I know where, and I'll tell you if you help me steal this wagon.

Steal? J No! What? No! - [King River]

It's a deal! - Dad, what are you doing? Um, give us a second, my boy.

It's okay.

You see, this kid is running a classic pie-folk scam.

The wagon belongs to him, and he wants us to steal his wagon so that the shill can come out of hiding and catch us in the act of stealing his wagon.

We need to draw the shill out of hiding! [audibly chomping]

- Hey, you there, stop! - There he is! Yo-hah! [grunts meekly]

- Ah-ha! - Dad, stop! You're hurting him! No! Don't you see? He's the shill! Ah! I'm not the shill! The shill is over there! Yeah, he's right.

I am the shill.

Me and the boy were trying to trick you out of your wallet, but it didn't work.

What? All right, come on, Sandy.

Get back in your little hole there.

Let's get going.

Ugh! I got the wrong shill! I was just trying to stop him from robbing you.

They robbed me last week.

That's why I've got the broken arm.

- Easy does it, sir.

- I am so sorry! You will have to forgive my dad.

Typical lazy thinking, if you ask me.

You think all pie folk are liars and thieves! Some of us are good, you know? Luckily, I have a pretty thick crust.

[crying]

Oh, Boysenberry.

Why are people so cruel?! W-W-W-Wait, please.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

We didn't mean any harm.

Before you go, just Do you know who made this pie? Well, actually, uh, I do.

Oh, sweet! Can you take us there? Please, please, please, please, please, please, please? I'm not too keen on doing favors for people who as*ault me.

Okay, Boysenberry, let's be on our way.

I wish you well.

Sorry I I wasn't able to help you.

Just a moment, please! [groans]

This This does not come easy for me.

For I am but an old man set in his ways.

But please, please forgive me.

I just I just miss my Moonpie! [crying]

Dad, no.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

It's okay.

We're going to find her.

You know, I I lost a pie myself, once.

Oh, please please allow me to take you to where your pie was made.

[Star]

We really, really appreciate this.

I was beginning to lose hope.

Well, not to worry.

Always happy to help.

[crying]

Don't cry, River.

Here.

[groaning]

- Aah! Marco! - What? What is going on? - Marco, these tears are fake tears.

- Mine are real.

I want to show you something.

Oh, no, no.

You no.

You don't have to do that.

Ho ho! That's bracing.

That is bracing.

Those little devils get the tears flowing.

You see, I played on the little fool's sympathy to get him to take us to Moon.

I've got him right where I want [groans]

Ouch! I say, would you be a dear, and pull that lever for me, please? What, with the arm and all.

- [rattling]

- [gasps]

Ow! [stammers]

What's this? This wasn't supposed to happen! Is everyone comfy? What's going on here, you little weirdo? Oh, honestly.

Did you really think your petty scams and those ridiculous disguises would work on us? [chuckles]

Aww, my disguise was starting to grow on me.

Oh! [giggles]

That's shocking because I find them to be rather confining.

[zip zipping]

[music]

- Uh - Ugh! - I was wrong again.

- [sinister laughter]

Ooh! Everyone, everyone, gather round, gather round.

And say hello to our new guests.

And for the right price, I'm sure they'll make delicious pies.

Wait, what? Make pies? Now, who will start the bidding? - I'll give ya five bucks! - I'll give you ten.

- I'll pay 20! - They're gonna eat us.

No, Marco, I took that to mean we're gonna help them make pies.

- Right, Dad? - I don't know anything anymore! - [auctioneering]

- [clowd clamoring]

- [clamoring]

- [chittering]

[gasps]

Monkey! Monkey, the key! Yes! I just knew we had a connection, you little Hey! My shoes! [chittering, hooting]

- The key! - Sold! To Fat Brett Scamson.

- For the price of - Wait! I'll give you 45 billion 710 million 412 thousand 242 pennies.

- [crowd gasps]

- Sold.

Do not cash this till Monday.

[sniffs]

Deal! [all grunt]

I hope you get a refund 'cause you just made a bad purchase.

- [chicken squeaks]

- What?! The only thing bad is that check I just wrote! - Oops! I have no money.

- [Monkey shrieks]

- Fool Duke! - Monkey?! [shrieks]

Oh, I was wondering where he got these.

Aww, I knew there was somebody good on this island.

Give the wallet back.

What the What are you doing here? - Well, I'm from here.

- You pie folk? Yep, just came to visit the old family.

[yells]

Hey, family! We got company! They got anything good? No! And quit scamming my husband.

It's okay, honey.

I can feel a winning streak coming my way.

No! Star, what are you doing here? Well, we've been trying to find my mom.

- That's a pie.

- Yep, this pie is gonna lead us to my mom.

Only she bakes pies like this.

[Fool Duke sighs]

We just need to find where she's making them.

[Fool Duke]

Star? You Queen-napped my mom? No.

Pie folk have been making pies like this - for hundreds of years.

- Even with the little butterfly? Actually, it's a moth.

I'm sorry, Star, but your mom's not here.

Maybe that's a good thing.

This place is terrible! Ruberiot's lost everything except the hot air balloon we got here with.

[Ruberiot]

No! My wife is gonna k*ll me.

[Monkey hooting]

How do you play this game? Give me that ring, and I'll teach ya.

Oh, no.

- Come on, Dad.

Let's go.

- Okay, honey.

[sighs]

[music]

- So, what do we do now? - [King River]

Sleep until the pain in my heart is gone.

[whimpering]

[crying]

It's okay.

We'll we'll figure something out.

[crying]

Wait, are you crying, or are those allergies? [sniffing]

What Uh, what - [sniffing]

- What are you doing? [sniffing]

- Uh, what's going on? - You smell that? I'd recognize that particular blend of cinnamon and cardamom anywhere! Fool Duke's pies didn't smell like that.

Mom's here.

- Cloudy, take us into that volcano.

- Okay! [Marco]

Wait, we're going into a volcano?! [music]

I know you're down here, Mom.

I just know it.

Okay, does everyone have their emergency preparation meat? In case we're held c*ptive for the rest of our lives? Yes, Dad.

- [Monkey hooting]

- [Star gasps]

[all scream, grunt]

[Cloudy]

Oops! Sorry! I didn't see the ground there.

- [train whistle blows]

- [Star gasps]

What? Whoa! [thumping]

[Queen Moon humming]

That song! - Star, isn't that your - [gasps]

It is! [Queen Moon humming]

[music]

- [echoing]

Mom! - What are you doing? Marco, get your hands off of me.

Star, I know we finally found your mom, but let's not blow this.

- [King River grunting]

- [Star]

Huh? [both grunting]

Oh, great idea, Dad! We'll get in using disguises.

Disguises? Oh! Yes, that's exactly what I was doing.

[pained groan, grunt]

Okay, let's go get my mom.

Ugh! You know we already did disguises, and it didn't work? - Yep! Let's go.

- But don't I get a costume? - I'm the one who b*at them up.

- No, you can't go! Oh, I'm sorry.

You always mess things up! Uh, is that mean? I know that sounds mean.

- I love you so much, Dad.

- [stammers]

I love you, too.

Don't worry.

You have a purpose on this mission, Daddy.

Just not right now! Uh, bring back some pie for Cloudy, okay? [Monkey chitters]

[long breathy gasp]

- All right, I got an idea.

- Great.

What is it? - [Star grunts]

- Wha What Star, what are you doing? [chimes]

Hey, Mom! You call me "Mom"? No.

All right, my mom's completely lost her memory.

- Okay, so what do we do? - I got an idea.

Great.

What is it? D Star, wait! What are you doing? - Yah! - Star? [all grunting]

[Star]

Bunny rabbit blast! [music]

- [pie folk murmuring]

- [Star]

Tiara Tornado! - [all screaming]

Intruder! - Super geyser windstorm! Here you go.

What? Aah! Sorry, Mom! Starfish tsunami! [all screaming]

- [pie folk clamoring]

- Quick, this way! Get her! Dad, we're back! Let's go! So what if I mess things up? Shouldn't I still get a costume? - [Star]

Dad! - Mm? Oh! [laughs]

Right.

Moonpie! You're even more beautiful than I remembered.

[Queen Moon]

I am not a pie! Hey, get 'em! - Get 'em! - Don't let 'em go! - Don't let 'em get away! - [all clamoring]

[exclaiming, groaning]

[Marco and Star cheering]

- Yeah! - We did it! [exclaiming]

[Woman]

You come back here! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! What's going on? Uh, I think something's going on with Cloudy.

[groaning]

Oh! Monkey! [all exclaiming, grunt]

- [Queen Moon grunts]

- [pie folk laugh]

[sighs]

Sparkle lightning blast! [pie folk exclaim]

Give me my mom.

Ugh! Stop, stop, stop! Knock it off, you! What? What are you doing here? Granting you my royal audience.

After all I'm the Pie King! Pie King? How many disguises do you have? That doesn't matter right now.

What does matter is the Sky Baker is free to go whenever and wherever she likes.

- What? Sky Baker? - Yeah, she fell to us from the sky! She's not the Sky Baker.

She's my mom! You're my mom, and I'm the princess.

Well, I was the queen, too.

But anyway, look, you need to come back with us to our home.

[Marco]

There's lots of corn! [King River]

And you are the prettiest one there! - Goodness.

- Well, that sounds lovely.

But that's not the full story, is it? - [Star]

What? - [rumbling]

[grunts]

Behold! The pie of truth! - I can't see anything.

- Get on my shoulders, my boy! [grunts]

- [King River]

What do you see? - Well, there's, uh, a giant pie.

What? Pie? What are they plotting? How the [grunts]

The pie of truth reveals everything.

Long ago, a pie folk girl traveled to the mainland with a pie carnival, and was accidentally left behind.

She was taken by the king of Mewni, and raised by the Magical High Commission.

No one knew that she was not of royal blood.

Her name was Festivia.

And she became the queen of Mewni.

So, that means your great, great, greaty-great, etcetera granny was pie folk.

And if Sky Baker is your mama - then you're pie folk, too.

- [King River]

No! My Moon is not some dirty pie-monger! I won't allow it! No! No! No, no, no! You're a liar.

You're literally the king of liars! There is no way we're pie folk.

Oh, you think it's a coincidence that your mother just happened to end up here on Pie Island? I I don't know why she ended up here.

But Mom, this isn't your home.

Don't you remember anything besides this place? I don't.

I know how to make pies.

And what delicious pies they are! Thanks to you, we finally have a pie that we can be proud of.

Oh, you you like my pies? I do like your pies.

And if you don't mind, could you get back to the oven and bake some more? We're way behind schedule.

I'm going to go make pies now.

- [Marco whooping]

- [King River]

No! [menacing grunts]

I do hope you find your mother.

Oh, long bake the pies! [pie folk cheering]

Sorry to cut this short, but we are behind schedule.

Pinkus, give them a parting gift one of the day-old pies.

But those are Pinkus' favorite.

What did I say about sharing? Hmm? I'll show you sharing.

[grumbles]

Okay, everyone, back to work! [all grumbling]

[Queen Moon humming]

Maybe this is where she belongs.

[humming continues]

Over, under Around and through Grab the little Mewni rabbit Pull him through [sighs]

Pinch it and fold it And tie it in a bow [both]

Like two little bunny ears Made out of dough - [gasp]

- [gasping]

- [murmuring]

- Stupid music.

[both]

Over and under Wherever you roam Sweet little Mewni rabbit Hop back home I I remember this song.

I don't remember anything, but I remember this song.

- [both shriek]

- Wow! Beautiful voices.

Now, scoot! Sky Baker has pies to make.

- Aah! What? - I thought I was free to choose.

Yes, and you chose to stay here and make pies for us.

By the way, they're delicious pies.

They're selling like crazy at the pie carnival.

No, I think I changed my mind.

I'd like to go and sing songs with that girl.

- [chuckles]

- What?! [Queen Moon]

Come on, let's go! Aah! Seize them! - [pie folk clamoring]

- [Marco]

This way! [Star laughs]

Eat my sparkles! [man grunting]

Oh, yeah, thanks, Craig.

Just keep walking all over me like usual! [panting, exclaim]

- [pie folk clamoring]

- You can't run anymore, kid! sh**ting star expl*si*n! [exclaim]

[machinery cranks]

- Strawberry death pie.

- Ready for your last meal? - Ow! - Ha ha! I committed treason against my homeland! Fool Duke! Ruberiot! What'd I say, husband? - You said the rubber chick - The rubber chicken was a good idea! - They're getting away! - Don't let 'em get away! - Huh? Wait! Wait! Wait! - Marco! - Get back here! - [Marco grunts]

[screaming]

[Marco]

Aah! Huh? Monkey! [gasps]

You do care! [hoots]

No.

[hoots]

No! Fine! Take it! I can't believe your monkey - was gonna let me fall into lava.

- It's not lava.

It's lukewarm tomato sauce.

- [chuckling]

Okay.

What? - I hate coming here.

So, Mom, are you okay? I mean, you've been through kind of a lot.

I'm fine.

You know, it's funny.

I have no idea what will happen, but I have this feeling that no matter what, it's going to be okay because I'm meant to be here with you.

[Queen Moon exclaims]

[music]

She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'Cause she will keep the lights on Oh, there goes a shining star - Evil won't deter her - No, sir! - 'Cause magic flows through her - Star Butterfly! She is a shining star
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