04x11 - The Knight Shift/Queen-Napped

[bunniefuu]

It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from around here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from around here I'm from another Whoo-hoo! Yeah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa Pa-pa-poo! It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from around here I'm from another dimension For cunning acts throughout the Mewni ground lands and the swamp, I knight you - Sir Cuddles of Hugs - [sobbing]

You're just gonna cut off his head? Right here? In front of his own mother? Uh no.

I was going to make him a knight.

This is a knighting ceremony.

- For knighting knights.

- Uh, well, s-sorry.

I just you know, when a monster sees a queen with a sword [chuckles]

I mean, don't we all just think that My son's gonna be a knight! [sobbing]

You know, she's gonna cry no matter what.

That's what she does.

So maybe you want to go on to the next guy.

Sounds good.

And last but certainly not least, Marco Diaz, also known as Princess Turdina.

Yes-s-s-s.

For his noble and dedicated service to the throne of Mewni, I knight you Sir Marco of Earth.

I also liberated the Neverzonians from a fire spirit that plagued them for about a century.

Maybe you wanna mention.

Maybe you wanna tell the people.

Go stand with the others.

Introducing the new Knights of Mewni Sir Marco, Lady Higgs, Sir Babyman, Sir Oldman, and Sir Cuddles.

[tepid fanfare plays]

Marco! Oh, congratulations! I made something for you.

It's your new knight cape.

Each patch represents something we did together.

There you are as Princess Turdina, there's the dimensional scissors, and that goblin dog-looking thing is a goblin dog.

Oh, Star, you didn't have to do that.

Yeah, but I wanted to.

Besides, every knight has one.

[gasps]

I'll sew you your last patch once you get your lifelong post! - Lifelong post? - That's right, Marco.

Mr.

Candle? [chuckles]

No, Marco.

It's Sir Crandle.

He's gonna help you choose your lifelong post.

We have much to discuss.

Oh, and don't choose anything with horses.

They're really hard to sew.

[clock ticking]

[Marco]

So are you sure you're not Mr.

Candle? I told you, it's Sir Crandle.

I've never even been to Echo Creek.

I never said I was from Echo Creek.

So, here are some flyers.

You can pick Knight Guardian of the Sad Tree, knight Hunter of the Disappearing Ghost, stable-cleaning knight you know, what kind of night you'll be for the rest of your life.

The rest of my life? [noisemaker blows]

- Congrats, Marco! - [dance music plays]

Oh, hey, Star.

You're a knight now You're a knight now So? What's your lifelong post? Well, about that, I choose quitting.

Wait.

What do you mean? I'm gonna have to turn knighthood down.

But it's not because I don't love hanging out with you.

I I just can't stay on Mewni forever.

I have a baby brother on the way, and I'm gonna have to start thinking about college and No, no, no.

Please.

I get it.

I mean, obviously I knew you couldn't stay here forever.

And, hey, you can always be called Sir Marco the Quitter.

[chuckles]

- [phone rings]

- Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Someone's calling me.

I guess I have to leave this awkward conversation now.

[Marco]

Oh, this is bad.

I didn't mean to hurt Star's feelings, but I had to be honest with her.

[speaking indistinctly, gulps]

I should find her, try to smooth things over.

What do you think? Ugh.

What am I doing? I should be talking to Star.

I need to go find her.

[gasps]

[muffled shouts]

Hey, hey, whoever did this made a big mistake! Welcome young knights, to your knight out party! [chanting]

Knight out! Knight out! Knight out! What? Where are we? The den of knights, where the Sacred Order of Knighthood comes to just be a knight.

We got a foosball table, a sweet lounge, we even got a dragon named Noodles.

[roars]

And now that you've chosen your lifelong post, you're officially knights! [chanting]

Knight out! Knight out! What did you choose, Marco? Oh, you know, I'm choosing not to be a knight.

[all gasp]

I mean, I only made him my squire so we could hang out and do silly stuff together.

I never thought he'd, like, stop being my squire.

Why am I talking to a statue? Ugh! I don't know.

I should talk to Marco.

Huh? A cornplex bar? Marco's the only one who ever eats these.

And he would never leave one half-eaten.

Would he? You didn't choose a lifelong post? Well, it's just, I've kinda already done a bunch of knight stuff, and, you know You can't just not choose your lifelong post.

You knelt before the queen.

Yeah, I'm honored to be a knight, but I didn't think I was gonna do that for my entire life.

What do you mean? This is a legacy! Every knight through every generation chose their lifelong post and stuck with it.

You're slapping centuries of history in the face, ya hippie.

Well, then this party's not meant for me.

Listen, kid, you're going to chose a lifelong post, or we're going to choose one for you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's not resort to hurting here, Sir Stabby.

But he doesn't have a lifelong post! I know, I know.

But in unprecedented situations like this, let's first consult the knights' handbook.

Okay.

"In the unlikely event that a squire turns down their lifelong post, The knight's order shall" Oh.

Uh, Sir Stabby had it right.

We're supposed to hurt you.

- Yes! - Wait, what? [Star]

I mean, it's weird, right? Why would Marco just drop his cornplex bar halfway through eating it? It's, like, his favorite guilty pleasure snack.

- [coos]

- I think you might be over-thinking this.

- [giggles]

- Very good.

I don't know.

He's been missing ever since I called him Sir Marco the Quitter.

What if he's in danger? I gotta go find him! Wait.

I'm overreacting.

Marco is his own person, and I need to give him space.

[wailing]

Now, submit and accept your lifelong post, or we'll lock you in the dungeon for eternity.

[laughing]

Look, guys, I don't mean to laugh, but I thought this was supposed to hurt.

Okay, well, let's move on to the fingernails.

- [screeching]

- Aah! - Can I go now? - [frustrated groan]

You came to Mewni to become a knight, so why can't you just pick a lifetime post? Well, there's just more to life than being one thing.

Ah, geez, we're getting a lecture from the princess's squire? I mean, what have you done? Well, I helped save Mewni from a monstrous she-demon.

And I can't even list all the things I did in the Neverzone.

Wh What's the Neverzone? Oh, just the most dangerous dimension in the multiverse, where I spent decades adventuring.

I mean, I've been knighted like nine times there.

Wow! I want to go to the Neverzone.

[all affirming]

Fine! He doesn't want to be a knight? Hey, hey.

Not the cape, man.

So there is something that gets to you.

If you so much as singe a single thread on that patchwork, I swear your face will hit every surface in this room, and when you wake up, you'll be in the belly of that dragon.

[chuckles]

Oh, really? - [exclaims]

- Ooh! Hyah! [grunts]

- Get him! - [all exclaiming]

Aah! Ooh! Oh! - [exclaims]

- I wasn't joking.

[groaning]

[growls]

Well, this has been fun.

All right.

You win.

You win.

You may leave if you wish.

Oh, I just don't understand why you'd want to turn this down! Accepting your lifelong post should be a knight's proudest achievement.

It's 'cause the dude's a lousy cheater.

Got the squire job handed to him, then he spends years training in that Neverzone place? He thinks he's too good to be a knight.

If you all could for one second think about the world from someone else's point of view, none of this would've happened.

You want to train up in the Neverzone, be my guest.

Knock yourselves out.

Just remember that time works differently there, so Yeah! Ha-ha! Feast your eyes! Wait.

Where'd all my muscles go? Neverzone? Time warp? Things go back to normal here? There's nothing left for me here.

Watching without me? Got to rip the bandage off at some point, right? I'm really sorry for being a pill earlier.

It's just, it's gonna be so weird when you go back to Earth.

Hey, we still have some time before I need to leave.

Promise you'll visit all the time.

I will.

But, for when I'm not here Just because I'm going back to Earth doesn't mean we can't stop having adventures together.

And I figured, if there's any lifelong post to accept on Mewni, it's our friendship.

Oh, Marco! Thank you.

I love it.