05x22 - Ghost Bride/Gerald vs. Jamie O.

[bunniefuu]

(OPENING THEME SONG PLAYING)

(CAT MEOWING)

GIRL: Hey, Arnold!

(CRASHES)

(GIRL SCREAMS)

GIRL: Hey, Arnold!

Arnold.

Arnold!

Arnold!

GIRL: Arnold!

Move it,
football-head.

CROWD: Hey, Arnold!

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Look, fellas,
we're passing
the boneyard.

Hurry up, you guys.
This place
gives me the creeps.

It's full of dead people.

Well, you might
as well get used to it,

on account we'll
probably all be
buried here someday.

Okay, maybe.

But that won't happen
for a long, long time, right?

Unless we wind up
like the ghost bride.

Ghost bride?
Who's that?

You mean you've never
heard the sad, tragic
and horrifying tale

of the ghost bride?

Go ahead, Gerald.

I know that story!
It's my favorite story.

Come on,
let me tell it.

You may know
the story, Curly,

but we all know
Gerald is the keeper
of the tale.

So, Gerald
is gonna tell it.

But I know it, too!

Come on, Curly,
let Gerald tell it.

(THUMPS)

It all started 80 years ago
back in the Middle Ages.

A beautiful young woman
who was very, very much
in love with her fiance

was counting the days
until they were to be married.

Her fondest dream
was that they would
always love each other

and live happily
ever after.

Finally, the day arrived

whereupon she
was to be married.

She looked radiant
as she stood at the altar

in her white wedding dress.

But, as the hours went by,

the bride realize
what everybody suspected.

Her husband-to-be
had skipped out

and left her
at the altar.

Later, the bride found out
why the groom never showed up.

That brother had fallen
in love with her sister.

The next day,
they were married.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

That night, the ghost bride
went to her closet

and put on her wedding dress.

She went down
to the basement

and found
a big, sharp axe.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

She walked the 13 blocks
to her sister's house.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Her sister and her husband
were asleep in their bed.

They never saw
the terrible event coming.

(MUSIC INCREASES IN TEMPO)

When the police came,
they found her sitting
in the rocking chair

next to the bodies,
rocking herself
and smiling

while she hummed
the wedding march.

Then, in horror,
they could only watch

as she jumped
from her chair

and leaped
out the window

resulting in her... demise.

They buried her
in her wedding dress.

Right here,
in this very cemetery.

And every year,

on the anniversary
of her gruesome deeds,

she rises
from the grave,

and wanders around
among the headstones

humming the wedding march

and looking
for more victims.

The end.

Hey, I could
have told the story
much better than that.

And you left out
the most important part,

that the anniversary
of the horrible murders
is tonight.

I wonder if she'll
actually appear.

The only way we know
for certain is to be here
when it gets dark.

Let's all meet here
at sundown

and see if the old
ghost bride comes out.

Okay.
I'm scared.

You don't have
to go, Harold.

Yes, I do.

If I don't,
I'll be chicken.

Well, I'm out of here.

See you around, losers.

Poor twisted
little freak.

So, what time
do you guys want me to...

Helga, it's kind of
a boys-only thing.

Yeah. It's
not for girls.

Girls get scared too easy.

What are you talking about?
I won't get scared.

(CHATTERING)

(GROWLING)

Not for girls, huh?

Girls get scared
too easy, huh?

I'll show them
who gets scared too easy.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

We're all here
except Harold.

(CRYING)

I'm here.

I'm scared,
and we're all gonna die.

But I'm not chicken.

I wonder if there
really is a ghost bride.

I wonder if I'm gonna
wet my pants.

(CREAKING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

ARNOLD: Here lies
Cynthia Snell.

She lived her life
and went straight to...

I can't read the rest.

(HOOTING)

Well, the sun's down.

That's right.
It's officially dark

and there's no
ghost bride, right?

Right. No ghost brides
around here.

I reckon we done proved
there's no ghost bride

and we can go home.

What do you say, fellas?

Okay, yeah.
Let's go home.

It's locked.

The ghost bride,
she did it.

She's already picked us
for her next victims?

We're all gonna die.

She's gonna
hack us to pieces

with her big, bloody axe.

Harold, take it easy.

A guard must
have locked it.

Why don't we just cross
the cemetery to the North gate
and see if that's open.

Yeah, good.
Yeah, okay.

(CHATTERING)

Can somebody carry me?

(WOMAN HUMMING)

What's that?

It sounds like
the wedding march.

That's the same song
the ghost bride was humming

when she hacked her sister
and almost-husband to pieces.

She's out there,
just waiting for us.

It's probably just somebody
visiting the cemetery

who just happens to be
humming the wedding march.

(WOMAN HUMMING)

It's not the ghost bride.

(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SCREAMING) It's her!
It's the ghost bride!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Who's scared now?

(SCREAMING)

Look, it's open.

(EXCLAIMS)
It's the ghost bride!

She locked us in
so she can stalk us
and hack us to pieces!

Calm down, Sid.

There's gotta be some
reasonable explanation.

Yeah, like she locked us in
and she's gonna
hack us to pieces.

Well, that doesn't sound
very reasonable to me.

(CLANGING)

Huh?

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(HAROLD WHIMPERING)

(CRYING)

She's out there,
just waiting for us.

Waiting to chop us
into little pieces.

Don't worry.

All we have to do
is come up with a plan
to get out of here.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

It's her. She's coming
with her big, bloody axe.

Eugene. Cut it out.

Sorry, guys.
It's just such
a catchy tune.

(CRYING)

We're all gonna die!

It's okay, Harold.
No, it's not.

Cut it out, Eugene.

It wasn't me.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

What a bunch of suckers.
What a bunch of dopes.

Ghost bride.

Only an idiot
would believe

there was really
such a thing
as a ghost bride.

(WOMAN HUMMING)

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Wait! Wait!

No, wait. You morons!

It's me, Helga.
I'm not the ghost bride!

I just put on this dress
and makeup to fool you!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

What a dirty trick.

I oughta
pound you, Helga.

I was
getting back at you

for not letting me
coming along!

But, that's not
important right now.

'Cause I just saw
the real ghost bride.

She's right behind me!

Oh, come on.

You're just telling
more tall tales.

You're trying to
trick us again, you liar!

No. No!
I'm telling the truth.

I saw the real ghost bride!

I say
we pound her!

(HELGA SCREAMING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(PANTING)

In here!

Let's spray it with mace.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Do you think
she saw us?

No, we're
safe for now.

Look.
There she goes.

(WOMAN HUMMING)

She's not leaving.
I think she knows
we're in here.

Maybe not.

We just gotta wait
until she goes away,

and then we
can get out.

(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

EUGENE: I can't see her.

Maybe she left.

Yeah, maybe she went
to hack somebody else
to death.

Oh, I hope so.

(MYSTERIOUS
MUSIC PLAYING)

(WOMAN HUMMING)

She's still out there.

Well, maybe some of us

should try
and find a way out.

ARNOLD: Who's with me?

Okay, then.
I'll go by myself.

What? Don't
be crazy, Arnold.

The ghost bride will
get you and hack you up

just like her sister
and her former intended.

But, we have
to do something.

We can't just
stay in here forever.

Sure we can.

These guys did.

But, they're dead.

What's your point?

I'm going out there
to try and find a way
out of the cemetery.

And when I find it,
I'll come back for you.

I'm going with you.
You don't have to.

I know, but to
tell you the truth,

being in here with
all these dead people

is kind of
freaking me out.

(THUDS)

(WOMAN HUMMING)

(GASPS)
It's the ghost bride.

I'm not so sure.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

(THUDDING)

Arnold!
What are you doing?

(ALL SCREAMING)

ALL: Curly!

Curly, you rat!

I can't believe you'd
pull such a dirty trick.

I can't believe how nice
you look in that dress.

Okay, it was
a dirty trick.
I admit it.

But I wanted
to tell the story.

Why should Gerald always
get to tell the stories?

It's not fair!

I say we lock him
in the crypt
and leave him here.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

SID: Hey, Arnold.
How did you know
it was Curly?

Well, this afternoon,
I noticed he was
wearing red socks.

And when Gerald and I
saw the ghost bride,

I recognized
the same red socks.

I figured it was just
the kind of trick
Curly would pull.

You think
we should go back
and let him out?

ARNOLD: Don't worry,
it'll only take him
about half an hour

to figure out that the door
only locks from the inside.

Helga. Is that you?

Come on.
This isn't a joke.

Let me out.
Come on, Helga.

Helga!

(SCREAMING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm telling you Arnold,
she's a real beaut.

Twenty seven gears,
dual control shifters

and fork suspension.

Jamie O,
what are you doing?

That's my new bike.

Well, easy come,
easy go, little brother.

(LAUGHING)

(GROANING)

(BLUES MUSIC PLAYING)

You won't
believe it, Arnold.

There's shag carpet,
love beads,
and an inflatable chair.

The ultimate attic
bachelor's pad.

Jamie O,
this is my room.

Not anymore, it's not.
Now, b*at it.

Well, buddy,
today is the day.

The day my brand-new
completely official
pop-daddy t-shirt

arrives in the mail.

Jamie O!
You ruined my shirt!

What if I did?
What are you gonna
do about it, squirt?

What am I supposed
to do, Arnold?

The guy is
driving me completely crazy.

Whenever
I get anything good,

Jamie O has to
go and steal it from me.

I know I'm always
saying this, Gerald,

but maybe you could
try and talk to him.

Talk to Jamie O.
You're kidding, right?

In case you
haven't noticed,

my brother is not exactly
the talking kind.

He's more of a
"slap you upside your head,
throw a pillow at you,

"puff out his chest"
kind of guy.

I guess you're right.

Oh, why can't I
just for once

have something
of my own?

Something that Jamie O
can't take from me.

GIRL: Um, hi.

I'm Chloe. I just
moved in next door.

Can I borrow
a cup of sugar?

I'm Arnold,
and that's Gerald.

I'm sure there's
some sugar inside.

Yeah, the sugar
is inside.

Um, we'll
be right back.

That's right.
You stay here.

Gerald, what's
wrong with you?

Nothing, except that I happen
to be in love with Chloe,

the beautiful girl
on my front porch.

Gerald, that girl has
gotta be like 13.

She's probably
in junior high.

An older woman.

Um, that's it.
I'm asking her out.

Uh, Gerald, aren't you
forgetting something?

Flowers. Good thinking.

No. The sugar.

There you go.
Thanks.

So, Chloe, if you're
not doing anything tonight,

I was thinking,
maybe we could hang out.

Maybe get
a bite to eat.

Hey, loser,
I'm glad I caught you.

Not now, Jamie O.

You know why?

'Cause I wanted to
wish you a nice trip.

(CHUCKLING)

Nice trip.

Oh, I k*ll me.

(LAUGHING)

That was
my jerky brother, Jamie O.

Feel free
to ignore him.

So, as I was saying,
you think you might
wanna go out?

We could get pizza.
I'd love to get food
with you.

Only, how about we eat in
at your house, instead?

You know, so I can get
to know your whole family.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)

Unfortunately,
my parents had to go

to the underwater
belly dancing class tonight.

This is
my little sister, Timberley.

Hello.

And that, I'm sure
you remember, is Jamie O.

Hi.

I'll be right back
with our cuisine.

So, Jamie O,
I see you're really
into personal grooming.

I have to say, I really
like that in a guy.

That's great.

Yo, little brother,
get the lead out, would you?

I'm starving here.
GERALD: Voila.

Scrambled eggs
with cheese,

wheat toast
and French fries,
my specialty.

French fries?
For breakfast?

It's dinner,
Timberley.

Jamie O!
What?

Don't worry, Chloe.
There's plenty more
in the kitchen.

Gosh, Jamie O,
you've got quite
an appetite there.

I guess you must be
some kind of athlete,
or something.

Here you go.
Orange juice.

My favorite.

Timberley!

Don't move, I'll go
get you some napkins.

No. I mean,
don't bother.

I'll just slide
over here.

So you're positive
you don't wanna go out
and see a movie?

Uh-huh.
I'd much rather stay in
and watch one on TV.

Well, today
must be your lucky day.

'Cause Alien Dwarf Clown VI
is just getting started.

Sounds great.

Why don't you
go grab us a snack

before we
really get into it?

So, Jamie O,
it just so happens

that I like
fine literature, too.

Whatever.

Extra butter caramel
marshmallow popcorn?

Actually,
if you don't mind,

I'd rather have something
a little more nutritious.

No problem.

As I'm sure
you've noticed, Jamie O,

I'm watching
my girlish figure.

So, you're absolutely sure
you don't want to
go to the park?

I'm sure.

Okay. Just remember
everything I taught you.

And if you need to stop,
use the breaks.

(CRASHES)

Hey, watch
where you're going.

You could have
scratched the paint.

Sorry.
Are you okay, Chloe?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I think maybe I just
need a break and a helmet.

Oh, sure.

So, Jamie O,
I take it you like cars.

Yes.
I like cars, too.

And I also like boys
who like cars.

Especially ones
as cute as you.

Say, what?

I like you,
Jamie O.

And I think
you're really cute.

What are you talking about?
You're in Junior high.

So?

So, there's no way I'd
ever be interested in you.

And besides,
I thought you liked Gerald.

Well, I do like Gerald,
but he's only a kid, you know.

And well, the truth is,
I've just been
hanging out with him

so I can be
around you.

Trust me, Jamie O.

Once you get to know me,
you'll like me back.

I'm very mature
for my age.

(SPLATTERING)

Yeah.
I can see that.

It ain't gonna happen.

Oh, yeah? Well,
we'll just see about that.

I don't give up
very easily, you know.

Here you are.
One helmet.

Actually, Gerald,
I can't stay.

I forgot, I'm supposed
to help my mom with something.

Bye, Jamie O.

Little brother,
we have got to talk.

Talk? Me and you?
What about?

About Chloe.
She is trouble, man.

She's just using you.
She doesn't
really like you, bro.

Sorry.

Aw, man. I should have
seen this one coming.

I can't believe
I was so stupid.

I never should
have brought Chloe
around the house.

I never should have
brought her around Jamie O.

Excuse me?

Don't play dumb
with me, Jamie O.

I know what's
going on here.

You're trying
to steal my girlfriend.
What?

You're trying to
take Chloe from me

just like you try
to take everything else.

Just like you took my bike
and my room and my shirt.

Gerald, this isn't like
those other things, man.

This is serious!

I can't
actually believe
a word you say.

But I'm telling you
the truth, I swear.

Just stay out
of my way, Jamie O.

And keep away
from Chloe too,

if you know
what's good for you.

GERALD: Can you
believe him, Arnold?

Making up
such a horrible lie
about Chloe.

But, maybe Jamie O
is telling the truth.

There's no way Chloe would
ever do something so mean.

Besides, we're talking
about my brother here.

And we both know
he can't stand it

when I have something
that he doesn't.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

I want a rematch.

But first I gotta take
a pit stop in the men's room.

I'll wait right here.

So, what
do you think?

Hey, take
that off right now.

Why? Don't you think
it looks good on me?

(SARCASTICALLY) Yeah.
It looks great on you.

It looks great
on her, huh?

Wait a minute,
little brother.

This is not
what you think.

Yeah, right.
Come on, Chloe.

That's another point for me.

Yeah, well, uh...
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

First, I have to answer this
very important phone call.

CHLOE: Help. Help!
Get it off of me.

Would you quit sneaking
up on me?

And quit acting stupid.

That barbell
only weighs four pounds.

But I can't lift it.
I swear!

What did I do
to deserve this?

Jamie O,
what are you doing, huh?

Trying to kiss her?

No. No!
Wait a minute, little brother.

You've got it
all wrong.

I'm really sorry,
Chloe.

Wait here.

I'll go get us a couple
low-cal lemon ices.

CHLOE: Ouch! Ouch!
My ankle.

Oh, I think it's broken.

Now, I know
I may look stupid

but I am not falling
for the same trick twice.

But I'm telling
the truth this time.

It hurts.
The pain! The pain!

(SIGHS WEARILY)
Fine.

Jamie O,
put Chloe down right now.

But she
sprained her ankle.

Yeah, yeah.
Sure she did.

Fine. You want her down?
I'll put her down.

(CHLOE EXCLAIMS)
Well, that's it,
big brother.

That is the last straw.
Me and you, right now.

Let's go.
I am not gonna
fight you, Gerald.

Oh, yeah, you are.

And we are gonna
settle this one
once and for all.

You think
you can take my stuff
whenever you want?

Well, you can't.
Not this time.
Not Chloe.

Gerald, this is
completely stupid.

Besides, there's no way
you can take me.

I'd pummel you.

Yeah, we'll
see about that.

(GRUNTING)

(WINCES)

You tore my shirt!

Your shirt?
That's my shirt!
The one you stole.

Either way,
you're a dead man.

(CHOKING)

Wait. Stop.
Don't fight over me!

Gerald, I appreciate
what you're doing.
It's really sweet.

But you've got to stop.
It's just not worth it.

I don't like you
the way you like me.

You don't?

It's just that you're nine,
and I'm looking
for someone older.

I've just been
hanging out with you,

so I can spend time
with Jamie O,

even though
it's pretty obvious

he doesn't want
to spend time with me.

Anyway,
I'm really sorry.

I never meant for things
to get so out of control.

I hope you're happy.

Hey, little brother.
You okay?

No, I will be, eventually.

Look. I'm sorry
I didn't believe you
about Chloe.

And I'm sorry I didn't
listen to you when you
tried to talk to me.

Well, don't be.

I mean, I was thinking,
and all that stuff you said
about me was true.

I am always
taking things from you.

Well, I'm sorry.

You are?
Yeah.

So from now on,
I'm gonna try
to be a better brother

and I'm gonna
try and bug you
a little less often.

Really?

Really.

Otherwise, you might
try to fight me
in public again

and make an even bigger
fool out of yourself
than you did today.

GERALD: It turns out
Jamie O was telling
the truth, after all.

Chloe was using me
to get to him.

That's awful, Gerald.

Yeah, but it's okay.

I mean, it has
a happy ending.

I finally talked things out
with my brother.

Got you again, sucker!

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Jamie O,
that's my pie!

Here, give it back.
Jamie O!

(CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING)