04x02 - Mother's Day

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Strauss's
"blue danube waltz" playing]

Hey!

What are you doing
with my macaroni?

Just playing with it, angelica.

Well, it's not for playing with.

If you knowed anything

You'd know you use macaroni

To make art!

Is that art?

Of course it's art.

I made it, didn't i?

And I'm an artist.

Hey, this is
pretty good.

She really is a artist.

What are you
making

Angelica?

It's a present for my mom.

What for?

You babies are so dumb.

I can't believe
you lived to be one!

Today is mother's day.

What's mother's day?

Mother's day is

The day everybody
gives their mom presents.

Oops.

Why do we gots to give them
presents just for being moms?

In your case,
to say "sorry."

And why
are you giving

Your mom
a present?

So she'll have two of me.

Now get out of here
and let me work!

We don't got a present

For our mom, philip.

Oh, I got a piece of candy
I've been saving.

[ Grunting]

Ow! Ooh!

It's stuck.

I bet if we
look around

We can find stuff
our moms will like.

Where should we look?

Where do we find

The best presents
for each other?

[ Giggling]

So, what's howard doing
for you today?

I gave him the day off.

Is he going to
cook breakfast?

He does that every day.

What are you doing
with your mom?

I'm taking her to
my favorite health spa.

The international house of mud?

Great choice, deed.

I hope she enjoys herself.

The last thing mom and I
both liked

Was my troll costume

For the third grade pageant.

Actually, I hated that.

Hey, look.

What is it?

I don't know.

Those are grandpa's glasses.

Too bad it's not
grandpa day.

Mmm, I found a cookie.

Do you think
my mom would like it?

Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

You guys, our moms work
real hard to be our moms.

We can't go eating
all their presents.

Sorry.

[ Burps]

They import mud

From all over the world
for that spa.

I know, I can hardly wait.

Well, deed,
it's here.

Get ready for the ultimate
breakfast in bed.

Stu, it's
practically lunchtime.

I had a few
technical difficulties.

That's okay, dear.

It's the thought that counts.

Clap on!

[ Whirring and beeping]

Wow!

It's... It's lovely.

It's a vacuum cleaner.

It's much more than that.

Watch.

[ Claps hands]

Stuart:
deed, you know that fruity shake
you love so much?

[ Machine whirring]

Didi:
oh, dear!

Stuart:
clap off! Clap off!

Didi:
well...

At least it cleans up
after itself.

[ Machine sputtering]

[ Doorbell rings]

Hi, chaz.

Hi, guys.

Have fun, little fella.

Didi, uh, do you think

I could talk
to you for a minute?

Uh, alone?

[ Crashing]stuart: not the eggbeater!

[ Screaming]

[ Bumping and banging]

[ Stuart grunting]

You two jab.

I'll go and
make sure einstein

Is still in one piece.

Hi, guys!
Whatcha doing?

Looking for
a mother's day present.

Uh, what's mother's day?

It's a day everybody
gives their mom stuff

Cause we aren't angelica.

You want to look with us?

Okay. But who would
I give a present to?

Oh, yeah, you don't
gots a mom, chuckie.

Nope.

How come?

I don't know.
I just don't gots one.

Well, you can
still come with us.

Um, you guys go ahead.

Mother's day is
for kids who got moms.

I'll just stay here.

Could you do me a favor

And hold on to this
for awhile?

What is it?

It's stuff that belonged
to chuckie's mom.

I don't want him
to find it.

Well, okay.

I was looking
at her things

Because it's
mother's day.

I was just looking at the box.

Well, I was just
thinking about the box...

I know it's been hard
for you since melinda--

No, no, no, I'm fine.

No, it's chuckie.

See, he, he's getting

Into everything now
and I just--

Oh, charles,
I understand.

I'll take care of it.

Well, uh, uh, good-bye.

[ Door creaking shut]

Well, even edison
had his off days.

Course, he made things
that were useful.

What's this?

The programmer

For the "mom assister project."

I programmed it with everything
about being a mom.

Youtold it
about being a mom?

Let me see that.

Ah! I think I found the problem.

Good as new.

[ Motor wheezing and roaring]

"...and after putting
your baby to bed

"Be sure to rub
your husband's feet

For ten minutes every night"?

That thing has no idea

What it means
to be a mother.

No wonder it doesn't work.

We'll set it straight.

Yes, indeedy-do.

Stuart:
betty, help!

[ Gasping]

How about a worm?

We gave her one for christmas.

Oh, yeah.

How about a, ah... Ah...
[ Sputtering]

[ Sneezing]

Never mind.

Hey, guys,
find anything good yet?

No, not yet.

Finding good presents
is hard.

Yeah.

Remember the first present
we ever gave our mom?

You mean before the worm?

Mm-hmm. Back when
we used to be hungry

All the time.

Remember, mommy'd come in
and feed us the old way.

Phil:
oh, yeah.

Lil:
you'd be on one side

And I was on the other.

[ Laughing]

[ Both laughing]

[ All laughing]

Our first laugh.

Mommy says that
was the best present

We ever gave her.

I remember the first time
I saw my mom.

I think I was in
a fish t*nk or something.

It seemed like nobody
knowed I was there

And it was scary.

Then my mom came.

I don't think I even
knowed she was my mom then.

But when she held my hand

I didn't feel scared anymore.

As long as I was there,
she never let go.

I wish I could 'member
stuff like that.

Don't you 'member
ever having a mom?

Nope.

Sometimes I dream
about having a mom, though.

It's always the same dream, too.

We're always outside

And there's lots
of grass and flowers.

I think she likes flowers.

And there's a butterfly

And I'm not even afraid of it.

Then what happens?

Then I wake up
and usually I go potty.

That's a real nice dream,
chuckie.

Yeah, but it's only a dream.

And you can't give presents
to a dream.

You know what
I think we should do?

I think we should
find chuckie a mom.

A mom, for me?

Could we do that?

We found your shoes

The day the mud ate them.

We found phil's cricket

After his mom washed
the pants it was in.

Most of it.

After that

Finding a mom should be easy.

[ Grunting]

How's she
feel, chuckie?

Uh, kind of cold and bumpy.

It's not really what I expected.

I'm sorry, chuckie.

My mom hangs dresses on her

And she sort of
looks like a mom.

That's okay, tommy.

At least I got a hug.

Sort of.

I think we should
find chuckie a mommy

Who can give kisses, too.

Kiss him, spike, go on.

[ Gulping]

Yuck!

Maybe spike could do

Other nice stuff.

Like getting
chuckie a cookie.

Okay, spike,
get chuckie a cookie.

Wow, he's doing it.

Lil:
ohhh...

Look, he's waving at me.

Hi, mom!

Tommy:
um, chuckie

I think he's just
scratching a flea.

Oh. Yeah.

You know, I think moms
are a-pposed to be people.

Yeah, and I think they're
a-pposed to be girls, too.

The first thing we got to do

Is clean that
messy, messy baby face.

Hey!

Phil:
I think you're a-pposed

To spit on the tissue.

Oh, well.
Drink your baba, baby.

Where'd you get
that bottle, lillian?

Under the refrigerator,
baby chuckie.

[ Grunting]

I licked all the ants off.

[ Sputtering]

[ Gagging]

Announcer:
can't sleep?

Angelica:
how do they
expect me to make art

When they don't
give me enough glue?

Why do I have to spend
the whole day working like a hog

Just 'cause it's mother's day?

Oh, here's some.

I wish I was a mom today

Then someone would have
to do everything for me.

Come on, little chuckers.

Time to burp the naughty baby.

Stop it, lil.

I don't need a burp.

You're a worser mom
than spike.

You spit on my face,
you gave me ant milk.

You're just cranky
'cause you need a nap.

[ Yelling]

Oh...

Chuckie, are you okay?

I'm fine!

Are you sure?

Let's just
face it, tommy.

We're not going to
find me a mom.

What's his problem?

Chuckie's sad
'cause he don't got a mom.

No, I'm not!

Chuckie wants a mom?

Yeah, lil didn't
work out too good.

I was doing better than spike.

Not much.

Hmm.

I suppose icould be his mom.

You'd do that for me?

Well, I would.

But being a good mommy
is such hard work

And as you know, I'm very
busy with my macaroni head.

I could help you.

No!

You'd do that for me, chuckie?

Sure, angelica.

I'll do anything
if you'll be my mommy.

Well... Okay.

Son.

[ Chuckling]

[ Squishing]

Hey, chuckie.

Hey, guys,
what are you doing here?

We thought we'd
see how you're doing.

We felt sorry 'cause you
gots angelica for a mom.

Sorry for me?

Angelica is the bestest mom
in the world.

She told me so
herself.

That's great,
chuckie.

You want to come help us
finish looking for presents?

Oh, I can't, you guys.

I got to finish angelica's--
uh, I mean, mom's--

Macaroni head.

And then you could
look for presents?

Sorry, tommy,
when I finish this

My angelica-mom
is taking me to the park

And then she's going to buy me
a monkey and a roly-poly

And my very own cowboy todd.

Wow, she's better
than our mom.

Hey, what are you babies
doing here?

Just talking.

In case you haven't noticed

Blaine is busy right now.

Who's blaine?

He is!

Chuckie's
a stupid name.

Blaine's a tv name.

Everybody knows
tv names are better.

Since blaine is busy

You babies will have to run
along and play your baby games.

Right, blaine?

Right, angelica-mom.

Okay, well, uh,
bye, chuckie.

I mean, blaine.

Didi:
mom, I know you're
going to love this place.

Wonderful, I'll be scraping
mud out of my wrinkles
for weeks.

[ Squishing]

There.

Look, angelica-mom

I finished your macaroni head.

Oh, jonathan,
you should see it.

My little blainey
did such a good job--

For a baby, that is.

All he has left to do
is put on the hat.

The hat?

Of course,
my little blainey-waney.

Everybody knows
all good statues got hats.

Be a dear and run along.

Get a hat for mommy's head.

Uh, uh, what kind?

Oh, just any old thing
will do.

Nah, too blue.

Hmm, too red.

Uh, too yucky.

What am i, an elf?

I'm sorry, angelica-mom.

I'm trying.

I know, blaine,
and that's what's so sad.

I tell you what, forget the hat.

Why don't we try
a nice flower instead?

Even you ought to be
able to pick a flower.

All right, new sub-heading:

"Social interaction:

"What to do when someone
criticizes your child.

Step one: get the guy
in a standard headlock."

[ Grunting and groaning]

I want to give her
the tree, lillian!

I saw it first,
philip!

[ Grunting]

Chuckie:
are you sure we'll be all done
when I get the flower?

Of course, I'm sure.

I'm the artist, aren't i?

I want that one!

Okay.

[ Bumblebee buzzing]

Bee!

Oh, blainey!

Where's my flower?

Uh, uh, I'm getting it,
angelica-mom.

Whoa...!

Tommy:
what you doing, chuckie?

Just getting
this flower for my mom.

But a mumblebee's
eating that one.

Well, this is
the one she wants.

But, chuckie,
they're all the same.

Look, maybe to you guys
they're all the same

And maybe you could get your
moms any old present

But my angelica-mom
is the onliest mom I got

And that's the onliest flower
she wants.

Come on, chuckie.

We're going to have a talk
with your mom.

Tommy:
angelica!

What is it now?

You got to tell chuckie
he doesn't got to get the flower

With the mumblebee on it.

Oh, blaine, you don't
have to get it for me.

I'll just tell my mom there's
no present for her this year.

[ Exaggerated sobbing]

Don't cry, angelica-mom.

I'll get it.

Oh, great.

I'll be watching tv.

[ Bumblebee buzzing]

I got it, I got...

[ Screams]

Bee!

Ahhh!

[ Screaming]

Go, chuckie!

Go!

[ Machine beeps and hums]

[ Motor revving]

[ Screaming]

[ Gasps]

[ Sucking]

[ Screams]

[ Gasps]

It's after me!

[ Children screaming]

Whoa!

[ Machine sucking,
then sputtering]

[ Machine dies]

Stuart:
oh, great.

Oh, great.

[ Sighs]

Um, angelica-mom?

I got your flower.

That's not a flower!

It's a green stick
with a thing on it!

Oh, but, i...

All I wanted was one flower

For my macaroni head.

Instead, you give me this!

You know what this says?!

"He loves me not!"

I'm sorry,
angelica-mom.

Angelica,
leave him alone!

And after all I've
done for you.

Fine, go!

Go and play
with your baby friends!

But, angelica-mom, i...

My head!

If you think grandpa is old

Wait till you see how old you
are when your time out is over!

And as far as you, chuckie

You can forget
about having a mom-- ever!

[ Slams door]

You know,
looking back on it

Spike was a
pretty good mom.

This is my fault.

I don't deserve
to have a mom.

Sure you do, chuckie

But you deserve
a goodmom

Not like angelica.

Yeah, a mom
who can kiss boo-boos

And make them better.

And help you do things
you never thought you could do

Like walk.

A mom who'd love you
and your flower

Even if it is just a green stick
with a thing on it.

Hey, I just
thought of something.

What is it?

I sort of have a mom like that.

You do?

Yeah, my dad!

Well, I guess your dad
could be your mom.

Sure, he's the
bestest mom ever!

You can look for
a mother's day present

With us after all.

Yeah, I can!

All:
yeah!

[ Giggling and squealing]

Um, how are we going
to find presents?

Angelica put us in time out
for the rest of our lives.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, this will
make a good present.

Wow, there's lots
of neat stuff in here.

What's this thing?

I don't know, but I could
eat a lot of dirt with it.

Where did
you get that?

It was
in this box.

What else is in there?

Tommy:
there's a book.

Ooh, does it
gots pictures?

Just pictures
of flowers.

They didn't glue them in
very good.

Look everybody!

It's the lady I told you about,
from my dreams.

"A mother needs wisdom

"For dealing with a fever
of at : a.m. On sunday.

"She's got to have dignity

"When she's covered with spit-up
at the supermarket.

"Plus strength,
especially if she's got twins

"And optimism
for when she hasn't got

Any of the rest of that stuff."

I guess that's about everything
it takes to be a mother.

[ Alarms and explosions]

Computer:
warning, system overload

Now you know how I feel,
cupcake.

[ Rumbling and beeping]

Hey, wait a minute!

[ Groans]

[ Humming and buzzing]

Now what?

Hello?

Is anybody here?

Mommy?

Angelica, what's wrong?

I made you a really nice present

But those dumb babies ruined it.

See?

Oh, sweetie, I love it.

It's so... Deconstructionist.

Really?

A bath alone, I like.

A bath with strangers,
eh, not so much.

Mom...

I'm just saying,
$ . For water and dirt.

[ Beeping and rumbling]

System overload,
fatal error.

It's going to blow!!!

[ Gasps]whoa!

You can get mud for free
in your backyard.

[ Beeping and rumbling]

[ Exploding]

Or your living room.

[ Sniffling]

What is it, didi?

Oh, mom, I just wanted to do
something we'd both like.

[ Sniffs]

You know what I like?

This, I like.

Uh, happy mother's day.

[ Laughing]

[ Everyone laughing]

What's so funny?

I don't know.

Have you seen the kids?

[ Gasps]

[ Kids yelling]

Hey phil, lil, what are you kids
doing in there?

Isn't that cute,
betty?

A mother's day present.

Yeah, only the best
from my pups.

Ah, sweetie.

One from each of my men.

Hi, little guy.

Did you and your friends
have fun to...

Oh, chuckie.

Thank you.

Uh, maybe we should keep this
in a safe place for now, okay?

What's the matter,
chuckie?

I don't know.

I thought it was
a really pretty picture.

I guess my dad doesn't like it,
tommy.

Chaz, I think
it's time

You shared these things
with chuckie.

Well, I'm just afraid
he'll miss her.

Then you can
miss her together.

Chuckie,
this is your mommy.

This was her trowel.

It's a little shovel
for gardening.

All those flowers,
she planted those.

She used to love
to come out here

And play with you.

It's all right, chuckie.

Don't be scared.

This is her diary.

She started keeping it
when, uh...

When... When she was
in the hospital.

The last thing she wrote in it
was a poem for you.

"My sweet, little chuckie

[ Mother's voice]:
"though I must
leave you behind me

"This poem will tell you
where you always can find me.

[ Kids laughing]

"When a gentle wind blows,
that's my hand on your face

"And when the tree
gives you shade

"That's my sheltering embrace.

"When the sun gives you freckles

"That's me tickling my boy.

"When the rain wets your hair,
those are my tears of joy.

"When the long grass enfolds you

"That's me holding you tight.

When the whippoorwill sings,
that's me whispering, 'night.'"

See, guys,
I do have a mom.

She's right here
in the flowers

And in the clouds

And in the grass, too.

And the sun.

And the wind.

[ Chuckie giggles]

Phil:
neat.

Tommy:
bye, chuckie. I mean, blaine.