05x13 - The Family Tree

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

Group: ♪ happy anniversary

♪ Happy anniversary
♪ happy anniversary!

[ Blowing]

[ Cheering and applause]

[ Didi giggling]

I don't think
it's my mommy's birfday.

And I don't think
it's my daddy's birfday.

And I'm pretty sure
it's not my birfday.

Chuckie:
I know, I know.

Maybe somebody's
getting married.

It's not a wedding.

It's a nursery party.

A nursery party?

But tommy's mommy and daddy
don't go to nursery school.

It's to celebrate
that you've been friends

A long time, like since
nursery school, get it?

Mmm, I think so.

'Cept chuckie and me

Have been friends
for a long time

And we didn't have
a party.

Yeah, we've been friends...

Uh... Um... Eight...

Um, forever.

[ Huffs]

And this is charles

When he was
six months old.

Wasn't he sweet?

That's a very
unusual crib.

It's actually
a puff pastry.

I baked it myself
for the picture.

[ Giggling]

Charles smelled like
butter for a week.

Oh! Is that
a bundt cake?

Yeah, shirley always
went easy on the boy.

Lucky he had me
to make him a man.

Taught him to swim
on his first birthday.

Tossed him in lake michigan

With a life preserver
and some dry toast.

We didn't have lakes
in the old country.

Only puddles
in the potato fields.

Oh, marvin.

I wish we could have had
more children.

Yeah, it would
have been nice

To have a bunch of
pollywogs underfoot.

Stu:
it's great

Your parents made it
to the party.

And those pictures are a scream.

Uh, yeah, yeah...
See, I invited them down

For the weekend
so they could help me

With this finster family tree
I'm working on.

Congratulations, bro.
Great party.

What do you mean
our line of credit fell through?

Didi, we need
a big favor.

Char, it's their
anniversary!

Right, congratulations,
many happy years.

Look, the yamaguchi deal's
hit a snag.

I need to go
to tokyo this weekend.

Drew has to
come with me.

Do you think
you could watch angelica?

Um, well... I suppose so.

Great. Come on, drew.

We can still make
the : flight.

Yes, hiroshi, I'm on my way.

Hmm.

Uh, stu?

Well, deed,
you made it--
five years.

After this,
it's all gravy.

Thanks for throwing such a nice
anniversary party for us, betty.

It was nothing--
you two deserve it.

And not a moment too soon.

Howard's spraying
for bugs tomorrow.

We needed to clean out
the cabinets.
[ Gasps]

Now's as good a time as any
to give you my gift.

Oh, stu.

A cruise to pantalones, mexico,
this weekend.

[ Mexican music playing]

[ Music stops]

But I just told charlotte
we'd watch angelica.

These tickets
are non-refundable!

Isn't there someone else
to watch the kids?

Pop's fishing with his friends
from the lodge.

Betty's having the house
fumigated, and...

[ Groans]
now we have
to eat cake.

When will this end?

I know, I know.

We been on our feet
for an hour.

...i don't think my parents
are up to it.

I can't believe we can't find
somebody

To take care of two
great little kids.

[ Ship's horn sounding,
people shouting]

Bye, tommy!
Bye-bye!

You're the man
of the house now, tommy!

Bye,
sweetheart!

I love you,
tommy, bye-bye!

[ All yelling farewells]

[ Ship's horn sounding]

[ Laughing]

Bon voyage!

[ Giggling]

[ Tommy cooing and giggling...]

[ Giggling]

You babies

Are so lucky.

You get to spend
the 'tire weekend with me.

That's right.

A all-suspense-paid vacation
in angelica-land!

[ Sighs]

Sometimes I wish
I could be you

Just so I could be friends
with me.

[ Doorbell rings]

Hey there, chaz.

How's it going
with your folks?

Figured since they're
giving a hand

You wouldn't mind
if I left my two here.

Those fumigators don't know
what they're doing.

I'll show them
how it's done.

Oh, I'm kind of busy

Working on
my family tree.

Betty:
great, great.

It's all settled then.
[ Gasping]

See you two pups later, huh?

Thanks, buddy-boy.

But...

[ Angelica humming]

Lil:
yes, it is, phillip.

No, it isn't,
lillian.

Hey, what you guys
talking about?

We're trying to figure out
what a family tree is.

I say it's mommy and a daddy
and a baby tree.

I think it's a tree
where your whole family lives...

If you're a monkey.

Oh, don't you babies
know nothing?

A family tree is a tree
that babies grow on.

Every family gots one.

But the only tree we gots
at our house grows oranges.

They only start out as oranges.

Or apples.

Or topatoes.

Then they grows into babies.

All:
wow!

I bet you I was a apple.

I love apple juice.

I like apple juice, too.

And I bet you my family tree
had big leaves.

'Cause I love to play
in piles of big leaves.

I like to play in piles
of big old leaves, too, tommy.

Hmm, I think I just
figured out why

We're the bestest friends.

'Cause we like
all the same things?

No, chuckie, it's a-cause

We both must have come
from the same family tree...

And that's gots to
mean we're brothers!

[ Gasping]

Hey, I gots a brother.

[ Giggles]

I wish I had one.

Ooh... Oh, yeah, I do.

Oh, brother.

[ Computer beeping]

Chaz:
so then uncle edward's
cousin leonard

Who was his second cousin
once removed

But only by marriage

Had mathias, who later begat
your great-aunt esther.

[ Snoring...]

Chaz, where are
the cookie sheets?

In the cupboard, mom.

Could you check
on the kids?

In a minute, honey.

I just need to find
the baking powder.

[ Sighing]

Come on,
brother chuckie.

[ Laughing]

Thank you, brother tommy.

Well, since
you two babies

Are brothers now

You'll need me
to be your big sister.

Then I'll show you

How to get your daddy
to buy you toys.

And how to pretend
you're crying.

And maybe if you're
real nice to me

I'll teach you
how to get cookies.

No, uh, we don't need
a sister, angelica.

But thanks anyway.

[ Huffs loudly]

Didi:
you were right, stu.

I'm glad we did this.

It's so romantic.[ Slurping]

Yeah, it sure is, deed.

Just the two of us.

Enjoying the gentle
rocking of the ship...

The waves lapping
against the hull...

The sweet smell
of salt air.

[ Gagging]

[ Retching...]

[ All laughing]

Ah, so they don't think
they need me as a sister, huh?

I'll show them, cynthia.

They'll be sorry
they ever came off any tree.

Ow!

[ Babies gasp]

Lil:uh-oh.
You want your dumb ball?!

Go get it!

I'll get it,
brother tommy.

Oh, it would be my pressure
to get it, brother chuckie.

[ Yawning]

Oh, yeah... Mm.

Yeah, taking care
of these little ones

Is no problem at all.

They're as happy as clams.

Except for that little one,
who's all by himself.

Huh?

Oh, it's tommy.

I wonder
if something's wrong.

Maybe he misses
stu and didi.

Oh, my gosh.

He must be suffering
from separation anxiety.

Separation what?

Separation anxiety.

It says right here

In the lipschitz guide
to weekend baby-sitting

That a child will often feel
severe loneliness

When separated
from his parents

For an extended period.

Horse hockey.
When you were a kid,
we left you alone all the time.

And you never had a problem
with anxiety, did you?

[ Stuttering]:
n... N.... No, daddy.

But it says here
that it's extremely important

That you give the child
extra attention.

Failure to do so
may result in...

[ Weakly]:
irreversible emotional damage.

Oh, no!

Oh, I better hurry.

[ Laughing]

Lookee, it's my daddy.

He's coming over
to play with me.

[ Laughing]

Hey, little fellow.

Why are you playing
all alone?

Come on, we'll find
something fun to do.

Oh...

He must have not saw me.

Oh, poor chuckie.

I knowed this would happen.

What, angelica?

Well, now that
tommy's your brother

Your daddy's
gots to choose

Which one of you
he's going to keep.

Face it, chuckie,
it's between you and tommy.

And no 'fense to you,
but tommy's a much better baby.

No, sir, angelica.

No, i... You got to be wrong.

My daddy would never pick
any other baby.

He loves me, he told me...

And he told me that
when he gave me cubby.

Here, tommy,
you can play with cubby.

Oh, look at that.

Your daddy gave tommy
your favoritest toy.

[ Sniffling]

Well, at least I still
gots my lucky... Thingie.

[ Sniffling...]

[ Clanging]

[ Tommy giggling]

That's it, tommy.

Express your loneliness.

Let it all out.

[ Gasps]

Oh, no, now my pop-pop's
playing with tommy, too.

Yeah, I guess we're going to
have to find you a new daddy

Anda new grampa.

Maybe you could
live with us.

Yeah, you can share our daddy

And phil can go live
in the forest.

Uh, thanks, guys, but it...

It's just not the same.

Well, chuckie

There is one way
to get your daddy back

But, it's...
Nah, forget it.

What? What? Tell me.

I can do it.

Alls you got to do
is do some bad things

And make your dad
think it was tommy.

He'll figure tommy's
a worser baby than you.

Uh, I don't know about that.

That sounds mean.

Do you want
your daddy back
or not?

[ Tommy laughing and cooing]

[ Panting]:
okay... I do.

I want him back!

I'll do it, I'll do it!

I don't know, charles.

He seems quite happy to me.

Here you go, sweetie.

[ Gurgles]

[ Sighs]

See, lipschitz says,
we shouldn't be misled

By the appearance of happiness.

Now, according to this,
we should "reinforce his comfort

With a family activity."

Family activity?

Huh, like what?

I know.

Let's bake something.

That's a great idea,
mom.

Who could have seen thatcoming?

[ Horn sounding]

Oh, stu, I'm sorry.

I'm ruining our vacation.

Don't be silly, didi.

I mean, who needs to be
up on that deck with the games

And that dancing

And the parties
and... The excitement?

It's very overrated.

I like being here
in the room, it's nice.

It's uh... Fun.

Oh, stu.

You're such a good...

Such a goo... Goo...

[ Gulping]

Oh, deed,
I just found some instructions

For curing seasickness.

Read them quick, stu!

I need the cure right now!

Hey, our mattress functions
as a flotation device!

Stu!

Charles, I think you're
all out of vanilla extract.

Oh, dear!

No matter.

I always carry a spare
in my purse.

[ Blabbering]

[ Gasps]

[ Shudders]

Now my grammy's
baking a pie with him!

She used to bake
her pies with me.

Hey, son?

How do you work this?

And where are the rabbit ears?

[ Stuttering]:
well, it's cable, dad.

Here, I'll show you.

Hey, tommy!

How's it going?

Having fun
with mr. Chuckie's dad?

Yeah, I guess so

But every time I try to go play
with you guys

He keeps making me play
with him.

Now that you and chuckie
are brothers

Mr. Finster just wants you
to feel like, you know

You're part of the family.

He wants you
to be a finster

Think like a finster

And, uh, smell
like a finster.
That's nice of him.

And, if you don't mind me
saying so, tommy

I don't think
you're being very grateful.

You don't?

If I were you

I would be a lot nicer
to chuckie's dad.

I know that would make chuckie

Feel more like
you're his brother.

Well, I guess I could give him
a hug or something.

I don't want chuckie

To feel bad.

Well, got to go.

Chaz:
I'll just get
some fresh batteries...

Oh, dear!

Whoa.

Looks like
the little tyke
made a mess.

Maybe he doesn't
like cherries.

No, no.

It's a cry for help.

Poor little fellow.

I'm clearly not giving him
enough attention.

[ Kissing]
come here, come here.

Well, chuckie

It looks like we're
going to have to get tough.

Come on.

Okay, tommy, yeah, see here?

This is our family tree.

There's chuckie right at the top

And then here...

[ Kids screaming]

Huh? Oh, dear.

Now, you stay here
and I'll be right back.

Tommy:
hi, chuckie.

Oh.

Hi, tommy.

How's my dad?

He's great!

He's the bestest daddy
in the whole, wide world.

We're having
a really, really fun time.

What's this for?

That?

Uh...

My daddy, he wants you to...

To, uh,
help him water the plants.

Okay, chuckie, if you say so.

I'll just stand here
and wait for him.

Yeah, yeah, i... I say so.

Wait right there.

[ Yelling...]

Stu:
okay, balance the water
and suck on the lemon.

[ Sighs]

[ Moans softly]

[ Glass breaks]

[ Gagging]

Or was it suck on the water
and balance the lemon?

Maybe we should call the nurse.

Okay, uh, you wait here, tommy,
while I clean up the other room.

Here,
play with cubby.

Chuckie:
tommy is the bestest baby

There ever was.

He... Deserves to have my dad.

[ Sighs]

I guess when I was borned

I just wasn't ripe yet
or something.

Maybe I never should have
been borned at all.

I'm just going to go back
to where I came from.

Wow!

Poor chuckie.

Yeah.

I never sawed him
this sad afore.

[ Giggling, toys squeaking]

Gee, tommy, I guess
this whole brother thing

Isn't working out so well, huh?

Oh, it's okay,
angelica.

Chuckie's just never been
nobody's brother before.

He doesn't know
how to do it.

But he did all that bad stuff
that you got blamed for.

I guess so,
but he didn't mean it.

Didn't mean it?!

Don't you get it?

Chuckie did all that stuff
on purpose.

Nah, you're wrong, angelica.

Chuckie would never do that.

You must be the dumbest baby
in the world.

Chuckie did those bad things
to get you in trouble

So his daddy
would want him back.

Yeah, that's right--
to get you in trouble.

It's the truth

And I know it
'cause I told him to do it

'Cause you wouldn't let me
be your sister!

[ Gasps]

[ Gasps]

Tommy,
chuckie's going away!

You got to stop him!

He said he shouldn't have
been borned, and he wanted

To go back
to where he came from.

But where did chuckie
come from?

I know!

The family tree.

Do you think
this is it?

Chuckie only gots
one tree.

Look,
it's chuckie's lucky...

Thing!

Huh, I don't see him up there.

He must be all the way up
at the top.

I got to go get him.

[ All grunting]

[ Straining]:
I can't reach.

If I was just a little bigger.

[ Yelling]

[ Laughing]

Angelica, you gots to go up
there and get chuckie down!

Forget it, baldy.

Maybe when he's ripe
he'll fall out.

Angelica,
this is all your fault!

You made up all that stuff
about chuckie and me

'Cause you was jellyless
about being brothers!

You want to be a big sister?

[ Shouting]:
then go up that tree
and bring chuckie back!

Whoa.

That is one mad baby.

All right, you little squirts,
look out.

[ Both gasp]

[ Twins squeaking]

[ Grunting...]

Angelica:
ouch!

Ow, ouch!
[ Gasps]

Keep going, angelica.

You can do it.

[ Angelica grunting]

Phil, do bushes wear shoes?

I don't think so, tommy

But then, I didn't even know
babies grew on trees.

Chuckie, you're okay!

You're...

Not up in the tree.

Nah.

The tree was too high.

So, I just...

Crawled under
the family bush.

How come you did that?

My daddy

Likes you better now

So I figured I'd go back
to where I came from.

Your daddy doesn't like me
better, chuckie.

Angelica made all that stuff up
to make you mad at me.

Why would she do that?

'Cause she's angelica!

Oh.

You're right.

If angelica said it,
then it can't be true.

[ Inhales]

My daddy does love me!

Course he does, chuckie.

Angelica:
hey!

I don't see that finster kid
here.

Angelica:
mommy!

Uh-oh, I think
we better go get angelica

Out of your family tree.

Hey, what's going on out here?

Looky there, shirley.

We got a kid
up in our tree.

Isn't it great
to be taking care
of kids again?

Oh, marvin, it is.

I better get a ladder.

I'll be right back,
little fellow.

Oh, gee,
you look happy now.

Golly, maybe you just needed
to be with your friend.

Tommy...

Do you still think
we're brothers?

I don't know, chuckie

But I know
we're bestest friends

And nothing's ever
going to change that.

[ Chuckles]

So, are you feeling
better, honey?

I'm feeling wonderful.

Stu, we're going to have a baby.

Deed!

[ Didi gagging]

Stu:
well, I guess I'm going to have
to get used tothat again.

Angelica [ shouting]:
come save your little princess!