01x06 - The Last Joust

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on
"The Serpent Queen"...

I will ride out
at the head of my troops.

You will have the highest
authority in the land...

just till I'm back.

He will need more funds
if he is to keep fighting.

That was your triumph,
Your Majesty.

Your strategy...
Well, yours and Madame's.

The king has asked
not to be disturbed.

Not by me.

By anyone, madam.

I see.

Is it too late for us?

It is never too late.

My family came up the same
as yours,

through hard work.

You can trust me.

Sooner or later, they'll see

that you're no different

than the rest of us.

A king who doesn't fight
with his men...

- I said that's enough!
- ...because he'd

rather be f*cking his whore!

He is your king,

chosen by God.

That makes me God's choice.

Or God's whore, if you like.

Forgive me.

I did it for you.

You are forgiven.

Who will rid me of this woman?

I will do as you ask.

I will search Mary's chambers
for you.

Go fetch your mistress a shawl.

What the f*ck do you think
you're doing?

I knew you'd come.

Of course.

You poor thing.

You must be hungry.

You will need your strength.

I would rather
you had me released.

Released?

I'm afraid that is not
within my power.

You're in far more danger
than you realize.

I went to Mary's chambers
because you asked me to.

Are you certain of that?

And you wouldn't make such
an accusation without proof.

Something in writing, perhaps.

You don't read.

A significant disadvantage,
you'll find.

What is this?

I don't understand.

Well, what don't
you understand?

I thought that we were friends.

And we are.

But everyone has their role
to play.

Now, come on.

Hurry, eat up.

You really must be hungry.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yes.

When Diane was not
in my husband's bed,

she spent her time
indulging her addictions.

You are a vision, Madame.

So beautiful, so youthful.

You are flattering me.

Why would I do that?

Because...

like it or not,

our fates are now
intrinsically entwined.

What about my inner beauty?

There.

You may continue.

Thank you.

Took us more than a year
to find you.

In my experience, when royalty
starts dropping off,

it's best to make
yourself scarce.

So how can I be
of service to you?

Madame de Poitiers has sought
to replace me

ever since the day I arrived
in France.

I can abide it no longer.

Well, that seems to be a matter
for your husband.

Well, my husband has never seen
reason when it comes to Diane.

Why should he start now?

My real concern is, she blinds
him to his duty as king.

I see.

So you wish
to banish Madame de Poitiers

for the good of France?

Does that surprise you?

People mock his authority.

And from what I understand,

that can
be a dangerous pastime.

I heard what happened
to that unfortunate tailor.

Marques was his name,
was it not?

It was.

I'm sure you cannot
fault Diane alone for that.

- Why not?
- Well, he was hardly

the first tailor you've seen
m*rder*d at court.

Or did Sebastio die
for the good of France as well?

Are you accusing me
of something?

Of course not.

I simply wish to remind you

that there will always be
a price for what you want.

Simple question is,

what are you willing to pay?

I dreamt that Diane d*ed.

How did she die?

I pushed her out of a window.

Then what?

Then Henri d*ed.

Then you already know
the price.

That is a price
I am not willing to pay.

We'll see about that.

Give him a bath.

And find him somewhere to stay.

I'll find my own way,
if you don't mind.

Like always.

As it turned out,

I was not the only one

conspiring
to improve my station.

Now that your grandfather
is no longer with us,

all the responsibility for
the family estates falls to me.

Hm. Well, I'm sure
you honor his legacy.

Piece of advice:

Never let a man do a job

that you can do
better yourself.

They're a simple species.

God intended for us
to guide them.

Yes, Grand mama.

You wanted to speak to me?

Yes.

Please.

You are here for a purpose, hm?

I think you feel it too.

Yes.
To unite all of Catholic Europe

once I'm Queen of France.

Precisely.

I've never understood
why we are such enemies

with the Holy Roman emperor.

Nor I.

I am so relieved

to hear you say so.

Once you are married,

the emperor might be persuaded

to support your claim
on the throne of England.

But King Henri holds
many personal grudges.

Well, he has not even set
a date for my wedding.

Yes.

But there is one specific tool

that can be used
to persuade King Henri

of almost anything.

What is it?

Leave that to your uncles.

Enter.

Madame de Poitiers,

you are looking as radiant
as ever.

Can we have some, uh, privacy?

Oh, you can ignore her.

She's deaf and dumb.

How charitable of you.

To what
do I owe the pleasure?

Well, we're here on behalf
of our niece, Mary Stuart.

I am sure she's
grateful for your protection.

Well, she's now of marrying age

and very, very eager to wed...

I am... most...

eager.

Her excitement is such, she
forgets her place occasionally.

Not uncommon in the young.

The poor thing fears the king

has forgotten her betrothal
to his son, the dauphin.

These days, it seems
as if the king cares more

about a bottle of wine
than his own country.

No disrespect intended.

In any case, I promised her

that you would be the one
to remind him.

Better only make promises
you can keep.

I'm sure we
can come to some arrangement.

Is that why your brother
is here?

To intimidate me.

Didn't think it was possible to
intimidate Madame de Poitiers.

It is not.

It's the
furthest thing from my mind,

I can assure you.

It's just that Mary is the
rightful Queen of Scotland

with a claim on the throne
to England.

This marriage has the potential
to turn France

into a global superpower.

Uh, Henri may not see
the importance of this,

but I'm sure you do.

I cannot help but
notice that this marriage

will also put the Guises
one step closer to the throne.

That's just
a happy coincidence.

I'm sure.

What about you?

What do you have to say
for yourself?

Ah... well, it is my intention

to be a fine wife,

a fine Dauphine for France,
and above all,

a shining example
of the one true Catholic faith.

Sounds like fun.

And yet I still wonder
what it has to do with me.

How do I...
put this delicately?

Well, put it indelicately.

This game
of influence you play...

No one does it better.

And I'm sure it must grow,
ah, wearisome

relying only
on your feminine wiles.

A woman of your
intelligence whose advice

the king has followed time
and time again.

And yet he's never
even given you

a place on the Privy Council.

The point is...

I can offer you a modicum
of security.

Ah.

What do you have in mind?

Well, the bells of France
belong to the church.

On the day of the wedding,
they will sound

from every single steeple.

So I propose a tax,

paid directly to you.

One ducat for every chime.

That's a lot of ducats.

I'm sure you'd like
to provide your daughters

with some semblance of the
independence you never had.

You do remember your daughters?

Make it two ducats,

and I will consider
your proposal.

Madam...

it never pays
to underestimate you.

Thought so.

Two ducats a chime?

Not bad.

I've always hated church bells.

Either someone's getting
married or someone's dead.

Either way, a soul is lost.

Therefore,
if we're all in agreement,

the Treasury
will make a payment

to address the seepage
along the Seine.

Agreed.

You're starting to drink
like your father

and your brother before you.

I finally see the appeal.

If there's no more business,

I think we're done here.

Actually, there was one thing

I wanted to discuss.

Where was it?

Ah, Madame de Poitiers.

What are you doing here, Diane?

I have some business I'd like
to discuss with the council.

What business?

There's
the small pressing matter

of the dauphin's wedding.

Why are you so concerned

about when my son
is to be married?

I cannot help but nurture
love wherever I find it.

Forgive me,
but this is barbaric.

I mean, are we really
in the business

of marrying off children?

That's precisely
the business we're in.

While I'm sure Madame feels
for the girl's aching heart,

it's got to be her uncles
who force the issue.

I don't see anyone
being forced.

Do you see anyone being forced?

As Madame says, the children
are very much in love.

I think that's pretty obvious.

And as moving
as I find my cousin's

new found concern
for matters of love,

the Protestants are disgruntled
as it is.

This is not the time
for a Dauphine

perceived first and foremost

as a deranged convent girl.

N-no... no offense
to you personally, of course.

The other children

have always appreciated Mary
for her religious guidance.

It is my humble duty.

Oh, God.
I-I think my point is made.

Francis,

perhaps when you have finished
your education,

we-we can revisit the matter.

What does school have
to teach a king?

Henri learned everything he
needed to know from his father.

And you.

Shall we consider
the matter closed?

No.

No?

No.

But Henri,

this is what I want.

Well, this is not what I want.

Francis will wed
when the time is right.

And when will that be?

When I am good and ready!

God damn you.

Well put, Your Majesty.

Shame.

Tough luck.

It appears we overestimated
your influence.

Plan your wedding.

Henri will not oppose me.

Good sh*t.

Diane doesn't love me.

Do you really believe that?

I doubt she ever did.

I don't want the same thing
happening to Francis.

f*cking Mary...

leads him around like a dog.

Then forbid the union.

If it were that easy.

It is.

It isn't too late.

And have the Guises accuse me
of taking sides?

Or the f*cking Bourbons.

Privy Council barely functions
as it is.

Perhaps if you had
an impartial advisor

on the council,

someone to restore balance.

Yes, well, my father banished
the only impartial advisor

France ever had.

And Montmorency loved you
like a son,

and you him.

If you were to call him back,
he would return.

I know he would.

Write to him...

under my name.

In the meantime,

there may be a way
to put a stop

to Diane's wedding preparations

without being seen
to take sides.

Deliver this to Montmorency.

- Ah.
- Mmm.

Your Majesty,
how lovely to see you.

As keepers
of the royal accounts,

you can reject any withdrawals
from the Treasury

if they violate the dictates
of the national budget.

Is that not true?

In theory.

The king has imposed a new set

of financial restrictions.

Call them austerity measures,
if you like,

to secure the future of France.

"Any requests for funds

"considered entertainment
or festivities

may be rejected."

I see.

Did, uh... did you put him up
to this?

The king is his own man.

No, of course he is.

Never one to be swayed
by a woman.

It's clear we have no choice

but to send a message rejecting
Madame de Poitiers' request.

It is out of our hands.

Isn't that right, Antoine?

100%. Shame, though.

I love a wedding.

I'll leave the rest to you,
shall I?

It appears the Bourbons
may have found a friend

in you after all.

Hm.

What are you reading?

Uh, Ephesians 22.

"Wives, submit yourself
to your husbands...

"As you do to the Lord."

My years in the convent

weren't entirely wasted.

Hm. Well,

I'm relieved to hear it.

So... you and Francis are
to be married.

'Tis God's will.

I hope so.

You know, when Francis talks,
he...

Ah, yes.

M-M-Mary.

But it is my belief that
God afflicts his favorites.

Yes, he stutters.

Well, not always.

You see,

so it is with his manhood.

Wh-I... I don't understand.

So no one has told you?

Told me what?

It has been our fear
for some time now

that Francis cannot
have children.

It was the same
with his uncle.

You would have gotten along
well with him.

As you say,
God afflicts his favorites.

Why are you telling me this?

Because according to the terms
of your engagement,

if the marriage is childless,

you forfeit your sovereignty
over England and Scotland.

My...

Well, my uncles never told me.

That's because you were a child
when they arranged it.

But I thought
you should know now.

You see, when I
first arrived in France,

I found myself a political pawn

for those around me.

In truth,
I was lucky to survive.

And I would hate
the same thing

to happen to you.

So all I'm saying

is don't rush into anything.

Uh...

Uh, thank you for this...

warning.
I...

I will not forget
your kindness.

Excuse me.

You're a hard man to find.

I didn't think
anyone was looking.

Thought you were dead.

Interesting setup
you've got there.

Nothing to do with me.

I just chop the wood.

You can go.

No message?

No.

Hm.

The work is shoddy.

I practiced.

Not enough, apparently.

You're not gonna cry, are you?

Don't let her bully you.

She talks a tough game,
but she's soft really.

Take these out.

Thank you.

You're a bit rough on him,
aren't you?

Needs to learn.

Free in the middle of the day?

Doesn't Madame need
constant attention?

She's busy
planning the wedding.

Ah.

It's for you.

I'm sure it's worth more
than you make.

No thanks.

Work's steady enough.

Does Diane know you're here?

I do what I want.

Is that what you think?

Oh, don't worry.
You're still my favorite.

You really don't know
what you've done, do you?

You crossed Catherine.

She won't forget.

I'm not afraid of her.

Maybe you should be.

She sent for Ruggieri.

He's here?

Well,

I don't believe in all that.

It's just a bit of show,
if you ask me.

Oh, I hope you're right.

I don't want to see
anything happen to you.

Why, do you miss me?

Maybe a little.

Don't be stupid.

Someone will see.

Do you really think anyone
cares what we get up to?

What's happened to you?

You seem changed.

Just enlightened.

Don't you see people
like us are expendable?

Our lives can end with a shift
in the breeze,

and no one would even notice.

Who can blame us for getting
what we can out of it?

It all ends the same way.

And to think,
a short while ago,

it seemed the Guise star
was on the rise.

With the engagement broken,

we might suggest a new bride
for the dauphin.

Why not Elizabeth,

Mary's cousin?

An alliance with the
Protestant Queen of England.

God, that would piss them off.

Wouldn't it?

I've always said Catherine
was the clever one.

You never said anything
of the sort.

Well, I'm saying it now.

You know, Father once said
your greatest gift

was to shift with the breeze.

Father is an idiot and quite
possibly a pederast, so...

don't care what he said.

I am told my request for funds
have been denied.

I'm afraid so, madam.

It is with my deepest...

- Deepest regret...
- Shut up.

Course.

The dauphin is getting married.

We must spare no expense.

Well, we'd love to help,
but the Treasury may not

be touched for festivities
or entertainments.

Therefore,
there can be no wedding.

Austerity measures, you see.

I told you to shut up!

Now listen, you f*cking maggot.

This is a royal wedding.

And there was a royal decree.

- King signed it.
- You see,

madam, it is quite out
of our hands.

A royal decree?

Indeed.

We had nothing to do with it.

We were merely following
the king's orders.

The king's orders, you say?

Now... tell me, Antoine,

whose idea was it?

Catherine's.

Obviously.

I've always said
she's not to be trusted.

f*ck off.

Something seems
to be troubling you.

I do not want to get married.

Of course you do.

I've-I've changed my mind.

What gave you the idea
your mind has anything

to do with it?

You're a woman,
for f*ck's sake.

Yes, but I will not be
a childless crone

without influence!

Sorry.

Why don't you tell me
what this is all about, huh?

Why can't you marry
the dauphin?

Because of...

because of Francis' problem.

His problem?

Yes, his problem.
His problem with his...

His?

His...

His royal member.

Apparently there's
a family condition,

and if we don't have children,

then Scotland will revert
to England, and...

Where did you hear that?

I can't say.

Actually,
I think I have an idea.

The door!

Enter.

May I?

What a long journey
it has been, cousin.

Do you think it's wise
to cross me?

I am not crossing you.

In fact, I don't see
how you come into it.

This is what Henri wants.

He does not believe
the marriage is a good match.

What is God's name

does Henri know
about a good marriage?

Oh.

You poor thing.

You still believe
he could love you,

after all these years?

Can it be true?

It's pointless.

Henri will do as I say,

as he always does.

Not this time.

You still don't understand.

Henri and I fit together.

It's simply the way it is.

People can change.

Can they?

Are you quite sure about it?

I don't think
I've ever seen it.

I know you think

Henri would have been
a better man with you.

You may well be right.

But what you fail to understand

is that Henri does not want
to be a better man.

We could have been friends,
you and I.

We have so much in common.

Except sentimentality.

That belongs to you alone,

and it will crush you.

Is it true you have decided
to call off the wedding?

My son's not ready
to be married.

Mary will make a man of him,

as I have you.

Is that what you've done?

You're angry with me.

I was a boy

when you first came to me.

You've kept me a boy

to suit your needs.

Would you really have had it
any other way?

I have loved you
the only way I know how.

The only way
I was permitted to.

If my love has been twisted
by my frustration,

and I have done you harm...

I cannot bear the thought.

If that is the truth, Henri...

You must send me away.

Do you understand?

You must find the strength
to do that...

For us both.

Henri,
what is the meaning of this?

What exactly is going on?

Madame de Poitiers has business
to discuss.

Yes.

The wedding of the dauphin
will go forth as planned.

Uh, wh-what
about the royal decree?

A new royal decree
makes exceptions

for the dauphin's wedding.

Wonderful. Wonderful.

It'll be a day to remember...

And may I suggest

we invite as the honored guest
of France

the Holy Roman emperor
of Spain.

Are you out of your mind?

I-I see no reason

why those of the same faith
cannot break bread together.

I'm sorry,
is this a schoolroom suddenly?

Wh-why is a child speaking?

Because she speaks wisdom.

Didn't we just fight a w*r
against him?

Fought and won, by the way,
while you had your feet up.

The truth is, the Holy Roman
emperor also sees the wisdom

behind a closer relationship.

He has intimated
he would support a claim

on England and Scotland now
that the wedding is to occur.

A united Catholic Europe.

Under your deranged niece?
Are you mad?

I-I-I won't have you speak
of my betrothed like that.

Ah, ah, ah, shh, shh, shh.

Right, sorry.
So not only is the dauphin

to marry a religious fanatic,

we are to welcome the man

against whom both you and your
father fought multiple wars,

who locked you and your brother
in a tower for three years

where God knows
what happened to you,

all in the interest
of starting a w*r with England?

And ruling Europe from France.

Excuse me, my mistake.

You're the one
who's f*cking deranged.

Must be that mother of yours.

It is Henri's decision.

Times change.

We have no choice
but to change with them.

Catherine, please.

I beg of you to see reason.

You have anything to add?

Only that I wish the couple
every happiness.

If you will please excuse me.

You are most kind.

Thank you, Mother.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Madame, what do you have
in mind for our wedding, hm?

Bells.

You see, it was not Diane

who was the cause
of my unhappiness.

It was the weakness
of the man I loved.

Tell me something
you remember of the dream.

A detail,

something vivid.

There was a sash

around his chest.

What color was it?

I can't be sure.

You must be.

Green.

Perhaps it was green.

It was your color,

not Diane's?

His Excellency
the Holy Roman emperor,

Charles V, and his sister,
Eleanor, the Dowager Queen.

France!

It's been too long.

- Come on, sister.
- All right.

Good to be back. Yes.

Madame de Poitiers.

There are those who bet
against you.

- Not me.
- Mm.

I didn't know you were
a betting man.

Only when the outcome
is certain, my pet. Hm.

- Hello, Grandmother.
- Oh, my darling boy.

You've gotten so grown up
and regal.

Well done, you.

You just need to work
on that mustache,

and then you'll be
very distinguished, hm.

- Your Grace.
- Welcome to France.

My luggage carts got stuck
in a ditch.

Will you very kindly see
to them?

Thank you.

Otherwise, I shall be
totally naked

for the festivities.

Now, who is this
strong young man, huh?

Your Grace.

Ah. Huh.

Feels good to play king,

does it not, hm?

Your grandfather
always enjoyed it.

Don't worry.

You'll get used to it.

Ah. Mary.

My ethereal angel.

I think you
are the reason I'm here.

Are you not?

Welcome, Your Most Sacred

Caesarean Majesty.

You honor the thrones
of France, Scotland,

and England.

We have much to discuss.

The things we may do together.

Yes.

And the Italian... bride.

I have heard tales
of your cunning.

But word had not reached me

that your beauty rivals
your brain.

I think you are the one
I have to watch.

Are you not?

On the contrary.

It will be I... watching you.

What a charming idea.

And where is the king?

He's indisposed at the moment.

Oh, is he? Shame.

But he always was a shy boy,

even when I bounced him
on my knee.

Unlike his brother. Oh-hoh.

Shall we?

Mm-hmm.

Christ, he's revolting.

Still, that went well.

Glad to see you have him
exactly where you want him.

How about you shut the f*ck up?

Are you gonna get his luggage,
or shall I?

You called for me, Father?

Come, Francis, come.

Auspicious day.

Indeed.

Today you become a husband.

I-I'm aware.

Let me give you
some... words of wisdom

that my father gave to me...

- Don't...
- ...when it was my wedding day.

Don't worry.
They told me what happens

at night with Mary and...

Yeah, yeah.

There's more
to a good marriage.

Even when Mary is your wife...

you do not need
to obey her every wish.

Yes, you must be your own man.

If you're gonna be ruled
by anything,

let it be your own mind.

Do not be ruled

by a woman.

Francis.

This is no joke.

But Diane is a woman.

And she does everything
for you.

She even invited the Holy Roman
emperor even though he...

Don't you speak of things
that you do not understand.

I'm... I'm just saying.
I'm just saying,

you'd be so lost without her.

Everybody says so.

Do they?

Look, there's no shame

in giving in
to the woman you love.

In my case,
M-M-Mary will be my wife.

And it'll be my honor
to serve her.

Was there anything else,
Father?

No.

Off you go.

My old friend.

Henri.

It's good to see you.

I never thought we'd find you.

Where have you been
all these years?

More places
than I can remember.

Have a drink with me.

Oh, uh,

no.

Maybe later.

You haven't turned into
a f*cking Protestant, have you?

I'm just trying
to take better care of myself.

You've arrived just in time
to see my son getting married.

Yes.
To the niece of the Guises.

Mm.

I heard.

What do you think of the match?

I don't know the girl,
but from what I understand,

she's a zealot.

She's young.

Often a dangerous combination.

On the contrary.

She has new ideas,

a claim to England.

A united Europe.

Shared interests
with the Holy Roman emperor.

Whom you entertain as a guest?

What would my father say, eh?

Your father would have rather
seen you on the execution block

than consorting
with the Holy Roman emperor.

And you?

What do you think?

I think this wedding,

and an alliance
with the Holy Roman emperor,

will ignite unparalleled

religious strife
in our country,

a complete societal breakdown,
if it doesn't get us crushed

by the mighty
British Navy first.

There are factors
you do not understand.

On the contrary,
I think you are the one

who doesn't understand.

Hasn't he done you
enough harm already?

'Cause if you think he's
coming here for any reason

other than his own advantage,

you're even more of a fool
than your father suspected.

I'm sorry.

I'm old. I, uh...

seem to have forgotten the art

of telling people
what they want to hear.

You're right.

You are old.

And for that reason,

I will forget everything
you just said.

But after the wedding,
I want you to return

to wherever it was
you came from.

It was a mistake
to call you back.

Help yourself to a drink.

We both know you will sooner
or later.

Ugh!

Forgive me.

No need. No need.

Wh-what's your name?

Clare, ma'am.

Clare.

From now on, you will be Mary,

to honor the Virgin Mother.

Yes, ma'am.

You may continue.

May I?

Of course.

Our son gets married today.

I didn't heed your advice,

and I should apologize.

What for?

You're not angry?

Of course not.

Will you joust
in the ceremonies today?

Well, I hadn't thought to, no.

Will you...

for me?

Will it please you?

It would please me to see you

as you were when we first met.

Yeah.

Wear my colors...

for luck.

Then you're really not angry?

Of course not.

Enjoy our son's wedding day.

Henri thought he wanted
the truth.

What he really wanted
was absolution.

So I gave it to him...

the only way I knew how.

Their Royal Highnesses,

united by God in marriage.

Ah, the happy couple.

I see great things ahead
for both of you.

We, uh...
we wish you all the best.

Ah. And I pray
you will be spared God's wrath,

as I pray for all Protestants.

No need to bother
on our account.

Though that does sound
rather thrilling.

Do you think he's very strict?

I do hope so.

Mm.

Beautiful ceremony, Madame.

Mm.

Did you hear the wedding bells?

Yes, I did indeed.

I will expect my taxes
to be collected promptly.

Any debt I owe you

does not diminish the happiness
I have for my niece.

Traitor.

It's not her fault.

She had a bad childhood.

Mine wasn't exactly a bed
of roses.

You don't see me
switching sides.

- Aren't you jousting?
- No.

How will you get any rest

without b*ating someone
almost to death?

Actually, the king asked

to take my place
in the joust with De Lorges.

Henri?

I'd like you
to do something for me.

Play to win.

Don't go easy on me.

Henri was always my favorite.

Well done. Very good.

No, you insult me.

I told you to play to win,

no matter the outcome.

You consider that an order

from your king.

As you wish.

Ah!

Tell him to stop.

Tell him I saw it in a dream,

that he dies on this course
unless he stops now.

Tell him.

Page!

Did you tell him?

I told him precisely.

Once more.

Once more.

You k*lled him.

Accidents happen.

No.

W-with you,
they-they happen too often.

You are evil,

just like they all say.

And-and I have let myself
be led astray.

I pray for forgiveness.

Oh, come on.

No one's watching.

There's no point in pretending
to be a pious little mouse

when you're willing
to maim a servant girl

and steal from a queen.

You said we were the same.

And we are.

Cut her rations by half.

Yes, Your Majesty.

Are you sure you picked
the right girl?

Rahima will do what I expect.

I have every faith in her.

Good.

Because if you don't take care
of this soon...

Mary will certainly
find her own way

to remain Queen of France.

"Boys Wanna Be Her"
by Peaches playing...

♪ You've got them all
By the balls ♪

♪ Causing waterfalls
Stonewalls, bar brawls ♪

♪ Climbing stalls
At concert halls ♪

♪ To you they crawl
Body sprawl ♪

♪ Smoking Pall Malls
Close call, stand tall ♪

♪ Doll, you make them
Feel so small ♪

♪ And they love it ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪

♪ The girls wanna be her ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪

♪ The girls wanna be her ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪

♪ The girls wanna be her ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪

♪ I wanna be her ♪

♪ Yes I do ♪

♪ Listen up, listen up
Listen up, voices scatter ♪

♪ Listen up, listen up
Listen up, voices scatter ♪

♪ Listen up, listen up,
Listen up, voices scatter ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪

♪ The girls wanna be her ♪

♪ The boys wanna be her ♪