09x12 - Starstruck/ Who's Taffy?

[bunniefuu]

[ snoring]

[ gasps]

[ kids laughing]

[ giggling]

[ barking]

One mega-frappe
mocha chiller.

And one biscotti coming up.

Mm. I like your mommy
and daddy's coffee shop.

They gots extra-
big cookies here.

Yeah, they look funny
but they taste good.

And you can play
choo-choo with them.

Choo-choo.

[ giggling]

Those pigtails--

they're perfect!

Did you hear that, guys?

That man likes
my piggy tail.

Piggy tails?

All I see

is a diapie.

They must be inside.

[ clearing throat]

Welcome to
the Java Lava.

My name's...
Mack Granite

the movie star.

Funny, that's my name, too.

[ laughing]

That's a good one,
Mack Granite, movie star.

[ laughing]

My name's actually Chas.

I'm your biggest fan,
Mr. Granite... sir.

Please, call me Mack.

Mack.

Wow.

Who is that little girl?

She's perfect for the role of
"Little Girl" in my next movie.

That's Kimi.

She's my daughter.

I must have her
audition, Chip.

That kid's
got talent.

[ giggling]

Well, she was

a very early crawler.

You're going
to be a star.

Mack Granite Studios.

:. Be there.

W... Wait, Mack!

Can you autograph
the espresso machine?

Wow! Kimi's going
to be a star!

A star?

Like way up in the sky?

Next to the Moon?

Yay! I love stars.

I get to be all
tinkly and shiny

and fly way up high

and I can give everybody

their wishes
when they wish on me.
I'm going to be a star.

I'm going to be a star.

[ giggling]

Wow. So that's how
a star is borned.

I don't know, anata.

I'm afraid Kimi's
too young for this.

Oh, please, Kira.

It's just one little,
itsy-bitsy audition.

All right, we'll take her
to the audition

but just this one time.

Oh, I am really
going to miss her.

She's going to be
so far away.

[ squeaking]

[ groans]

I'm not floating
like a star so good.

Could you guys help me?

Sure, Kimi,
we can help.

Come on.

[ groans]

Okay, that should be
enough room to float.

Isn't this 'citing, Chuckie?

I'm going to float.

I don't know, Kimi.

Floats kind of dangerous.

You could crash
into other stars

or a spaceship...

or even the mouth

of a giant alieum.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll be careful.

Okay, Kimi.

First, you hold out
your arms like this...

Good.

Now, flop them real fast

and think of floaty things
like clouds

or a balloon.

Now... jump!

Maybe we should try
some easy stuff.

If you're going
to be a star, Kimi

you gots to know
how to tinkle and shine.

I already know how
to tinkle, Tommy.

That's what diapies is for.

Oh, not that kind
of tinkling, Kimi.

"Tinkle, tinkle, little star"
kind of tinkling.

Like that.

[ giggling]

We're not supposed to play
with our food, Tommy.

And there's the shine.

I'm a star!

Oops. Flashlight's broken.

Guess you can't be a star.

Look, it's working again.

[ groans]

Now, you have to learn

the most 'portant
star thing of all--

making wishes come true.

Okay, let me try.

You guys make a wish.

I wish...

uh... I was a world 'splorer.

Hmm. That's kind of a hard one.

Okay.

I wish I had a cranhairy muffin.

Okay. But keep your eyes closed.

♪ Ta-da! ♪

A cranhairy muffin!

Wow, you did it, Kimi.

What's your wish, Chuckie?

Um... I don't want to say.

Why not?

Because I, I'm, uh...
Because...

CHAS:
All right, kids!

Time to make Kimi a star.

[ giggling]

Because it's not
going to come true.

[ hammering and clattering]

[ gasping]

Ooh!

Wow.

That must be the rocket

that takes you to outside space.

Ooh.

That's even bigger
than my flashlight.

I'll really shine with that.

Yeah, but you still can't
floats good, Kimi.

That's okay.

Look what they gots to help me.

Ooh...

[ groans]

Wow. I can't wait to go.

What's the matter, Tommy?

You look like me...
and that's never good.

I didn't know the
rocket would be so big.

Kimi's really going to
blast far, far away.

That's what I been saying.

Too bad we can't
go with her.

She's going to
be all alone.

No, she won't, Tommy.

Wow! A real movie set.

Did I mention Mack's going
to be at the audition?

Yes. At least four times.

You know, anata

he may be famous, but he's still
a person like you and me.

You're right.

It's silly.

I shouldn't get
so carried away.

There he is!

Mack!
[ clicks tongue]

Mack!

It's me! Chip Finster!

"Chip"?

[ imitates engine revving]

What you doing, Chuckie?

Giving you a good-bye present.

Your Wawa?

But you can't sleep without him.

That's okay.

It might get lonely in
outside space and Wawa's

real good company
when you're lonely.

Be careful, though.

He'll eat
all your cookies.

Thanks, Chuckie.

[ nervous chuckle]

Don't forget
this, Kimi!

All right. One voice-- mine.

Is she union?

No, she's a baby.

I knew that.

Here's how we're
going to do this.

First, Mack delivers his line.

Then you give him five.

And I want to feel
the moment. ¿Comprende?

[ bell rings]

I saved the galaxy,
little girl.

Give me five.

[ yells]

[ bell rings]

Let's try again

and this time,
let's do it

correctly. And...

[ bell rings]

I saved the galaxy.

Give me five.

[ yells]

My hair! Not the hair!

[ bell rings]

Why couldn't I have
worked in animation?

I'm going to miss her.

But you gots to admit--

she knows how to tinkle.

Okeydoke.

Last chance.

And...

[ bell rings]

...talk.

Blah-blah-blah-blah...
galaxy... five.

You can do it, sweetie.

Show them you're
a star, Kimi.

Oh.

[ giggling]

[ yelling]

[ feedback whines]

I'll be in my trailer prying
a bundt cake off my head.

[ grunting]

That does it!

You will never slap five

in this town again.

Don't worry, Kimi.

You'll always be a star to us.

Oh, Kira, Kira.

Take a picture of me
by the rocket ship.

[ groans]

We're glad you
didn't go, Kimi.

We would have
really missed you.

I would have missed
you guys, too.

And I probably wouldn't have
been such a good star, anyway.

Sure you would have, Kimi.

Remember the wish
I never told you about?

Well, I wished you'd never go,
and you made it come true.

Wow, I got
some star power after all.

But you didn't
want me to go, Chuckie?

Then I'm happy
I didn'tget to be a star.

Me, too.

Um... Uh...

Now that you're staying...

could I have Wawa back?

[ giggles]

[ kids laughing]

Uh-uh, Dily,
zirconia's not for eating.

Deed, have you seen
my other sock?

Oh, no.

I'd remember that.

I'll help you look
after I put Dily to bed.

Your dad is looking for his
dressy-up socks again, Tommy.

We know what that means.

[ door buzzes]

ALL:
Taffy's coming! Yay!

Hi, Taffy.

[ dejected]:
Hey, Mr. P.

I got to find my sock.

Charlotte and Drew are going
to be here any minute.

[ yelling]

Whatever.

What's wrong
with Taffy?

She looks really sad.

Yeah, she didn't even
say hi to us.

Maybe she ate-ed a giant bug

and it's still alive
in her tummy.

I like when that happens.

It's tickly.

[ laughs]

[ moans]

I think my band
is going to break up, Mr. P.

Why?

Because I'm an artist.

Tammy and Tabby just don't
understand what that means.

Genius is never understood
in its time, Taffy.

Believe me, I know.

Stew, I found
your sock.

Spiffy borrowed it.

Perfect.

[ sighs]

If she gots a bug
in her tummy

I don't think
it's a tickly one.

Come on, guys, let's bring Taffy
her songy thing.

Yeah! Then maybe
she'll sing us a song

like she always does.

Thanks, minis, but I don't
really feel like playing.

I guess
I'm just not myself tonight.

Sorry.

[ door buzzes]

How can Taffy
not be herself?

She looks like Taffy.

She sounds like Taffy.

And my daddy called her Taffy
when she got here.

So what happened to Taffy?

[ humming gibberish,
playing off-key]

Look, babies, I'm Taffy.

[ humming gibberish,
banging off-key notes]

Thank you! Thank you!

What's the matter?

Are you babies mad

'cause I'm going
to be a famous singer

and you're not?

You took Taffy
from Taffy.

Yeah, give her back!

Right now!

I can be Taffy anytime
I want to be

and there's nothing you babies
can do about it. Humph!

Angelica, did I hear you

being mean
to the minis?

Me? Nuh-uh. Look at me.
Look at my dress.

Isn't it neat?
I'm just like you.

Wow, my first groupie!

You do look fab.

'Cept I don't have
one of those pretty barrettes.

There, now you're totally Taffy.

'Course,
I'm not exactly like you

but I would be

if could play
your pretty guitar.

Please, can I play it, Taffy?

Please, please, please?

Maybe if you help me out tonight

by being especially nice
to the babies.

I can be nice to the babies.

I mean, I'm always nice
to the babies.

I love the babies!

Good. They love when I sing
songs and dance with them.

So have fun.

Angelica can't be Taffy.

If she was Taffy,
she'd be nice to us.

Yeah, she's still just
regular, mean, old Angelica.

Hi, my favoritest,
most wonderfulest babies.

How about we all sing
a song together?

But first, I got to make
my hair just right.

She's gots Taffy's
hairy clip.

That's right.

Now, I'm exactly like her.

[ hums intro]

We're dancing, we're singing,
we're having a fun time.

Everyone knows who
the nicest girl is--

it's me!

Especially to the babies.

Everybody!

[ whoops]

Angelica really is Taffy.

She's even singing
a nice song to us.

It's that hairy clip.

It made her exactly like Taffy!

Then we gots to get it back
to Taffy.

Wait.

I like nice Angelica.

Can't we just get
a new baby-sitter?

♪ La, la-la, la. ♪

Angelica, can we have
that clippy thing

in your hair?

No. Now start playing.
We're having fun.

Clip?

Right.

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la! ♪

[ screams]

Hey, give me that barrette!

Chucky, here!

Ooh! Out of my way, fur ball!

So, I said, "Listen, Tammy,
I don't want to sing

"teeny-bopper love songs.

"I want my music to explore

the depths
of the human condition."

And that's when
she called me a poser.

Hold on. What gives, minis?

It's mine.

It's mine.

Actually, it's mine.

Angelica, I thought
you were playing nicely

with the babies.

But the babies started it.

[ groans]

Okay, I'm back.

Taffy's back, you guys.

We did it!

[ cheering]

No way am I ever
going to play
with them again.

They're just a bunch
of dumb babies.

Taffy called us
dumb babies?

Oh, no, we made it worser.

Now Taffy's turning
into Angelica.

And she's never going
to play with us ever again.

♪ La-la, la-la, la ♪

♪ Come on, babies, dance! ♪

♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la. ♪

It's bad enough I gots to be
nice to these dumb babies

now they're dumb crybabies.

I'll be right back, babies,
with a really nice surprise.

If we don't figure out
how to turn Taffy into Taffy

she might be Angelica forever.

Maybe if we turn
Angelica back into Angelica

Taffy will turn back
into Taffy.

Oh, this is making me dizzy.

Then we've got to make
Angelica mean again.

How are we going
to make her mean?

Well, she doesn't like it
when we ask her lots of stuff.

So we'll ask her all the stuffs
in the whole wild world.

No way, Tabby!
I formed this band.

I refuse to sing songs
with la-la's.

Look, I'm bringing yummy cookies
to the babies.

See how nice I am?

See?

You can't be serious.

Next you'll be telling me
we should tune our instruments.

Why do frogs say "ribbet"
when tigers say "roar?"

Why is water wet?

Why do worms wiggle?

Why does dirt
taste so good?

Why is everything scary?

'Cause... 'cause I said so!

BABIES:
Why? Why?

You... you... you...

[ growls]

you like cookies, right,
my favoritest babies?

Here. And when I come back,
we'll play peek-a-boo.

Okay, I guess we can do
one love song per show

but only if it's tragic love,
like Romeo and Juliet

but even sadder.

That didn't work, neither.

Angelica's still nice.

And that means
Taffy's not Taffy.

Well, then we gots to try
even harder

to make Angelica mean.

I know. Let's hide Angelica's
songy thing.

But that will make her
really mad.

ALL:
Yeah.

Wait. That's what we want.

ALL:
Yeah!

Hurry, guys,
she's coming.

Okay, babies,
you start playing peek-a-boo

while I practice my guitar.

Hey, where's my guitar?

Maybe some dumb babies hided it.

Hided it? Where? Tell me!

Maybe it's in
the kitchen.

Whoa!

Maybe it's behind the TV!

[ grunting]

Maybe it's outside
playing in the sandbox.

[ spitting]

Tell me where my guitar is
right now

or else!

Or else what?
I'm not being

for real mean
to the babies.

We were just playing a game
and I was pretending to be mean.

[ laughs]

Pretty good, huh?

Please let me play your guitar
and sing, Tammy.

Please?! Please?! Please?!

Maybe if I write you
a special song.

Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Now clean yourself up
and I'll get your song ready.

I'm going to sing
a Taffy song.

♪ La, la-la, la-la,
la, la-la-la. ♪

Guess what, minis.

Everything's okay.

We're going to play
together again.

Taffy's going to play
with us again.

ALL:
Yay!

[ singing off-key]:
♪ Who loves the babies
more than me? ♪

♪ Nobody, nobody ♪

♪ I love the babies,
can't you see ♪

♪ Yes, sirree, yes, sirree. ♪

DIRECTOR:
Why couldn't I have worked
in animation?