09x13 - They Came from the Backyard/ Lil's Phil of Trash

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Rugrats". Aired: August 11, 1991 - August 1, 2004.*
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`Rugrats' reveals the world from a baby's point of view where it's bigger, more mysterious and uncontrollable.
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09x13 - They Came from the Backyard/ Lil's Phil of Trash

Post by bunniefuu »

[Drumroll]

[Cheerful music]



[Door creaking]

[Door creaking]

- I looked everywhere.

Where could they be?

[Dog barking]

Good job, spiffy.

Hey, wait guys,
it's spiffy's turn to hide.

[Children laughing]

- [Gasps]

Oh, no!

Oh, dear.

Stu, I need you
to watch the kids

While I study for my exam.

- Aw, didi, you know

I've been looking forward
to my alien movie marathon.

- I'll call taffy.

- What, that won't
be necessary, didi.

I can watch the babies and
my movies at the same time

With the pickles'
closed-circuit baby cam system.

- I'll call taffy.

- No, look.

- [Screams]

[Gentle xylophone music]



- Neat, huh?

- But where are the cameras?

- Cleverly hidden
all around you.

- I don't know, stu.

- You just go
upstairs and study,

And leave everything
here to the stuster.

- Okay, stuster.

But could you try to keep
the noise level down?

- Hey, try these didi:

Pickles' noise muffs.

They're guarantee to give you
complete peace and quiet.

- What?

- Exactly.

[Slurping]

- You're in
for a real treat pals.

[Dramatic music]



[Gentle xylophone music]

[Dramatic music]

- Uh, spiffy?

Spiffy?

- [Yawns]

[Snoring]

- Come on, let's play more
hide and go sleep.

- I think your daddy
already won.

- He's going to miss
his alien movie.

- Maybe we should
watch it for him.

- What do you think
they're looking for?

- Candy and cookies
and cake and ice cream.

- Or babies to eat.

- I don't think they're
bad aliens, chuckie.

They just came to play.

Look.

- Ah, finally
some nice aliens.

[Drumming]

[Toy siren wailing]

[Train chugging]

[Eerie music]

[All gasp]

- Run.

- They tooked all the toys!

- That's not nice.

[Alien rays zapping]

- They're stealing
mommies and daddies too!

- But they're letting some go.

[Eerie music]

[Alien rays zapping]

[Dog barking]

- It's an alien inflation.

They're stealing
all the toys,

And turning
the mommies and daddies

Into alien mommies and daddies.

What are we going to do, tommy?

- We could change the channel.

- Yeah, chuckie,
it's not a real alien inflation.

It's just my daddy's movie.

- It looks like
an alien inflation to me.

- I wonder whose house that is.

- Whose ever it is,
they're in big trouble.

- [Gumming noisily]

[Gentle xylophone music]

- Are those aliens?

- I don't think so, kimi.

They look like babies to me.

- Look how pretty
the girl one is!

[Giggles]

- And that handsome baby

Doesn't gots no more hair
than me.

- That other baby gots glasses,
just like--

Both: we're on tv!

- Then that means everybody
in the whole wide world

Is watching us right now.

[All making silly noises]

[Eerie music]



[Gentle xylophone music]

[Eerie music]

- The aliens are landing
in tommy's backyard.

- That's not my backyard,
chuckie.

My backyard has a sandbox.

- Like that one?

[Gentle xylophone music]

- Uh, yeah, but my backyard
gots a lawny-mowey too.

Uh, my backyard gots a...

[Gasps]

Spike?

[Dog growling]

[Dog barking]

[Whimpering]

[Eerie music]



All: aliens!

- I'm not letting aliens
take my toys

Or my mommy and daddy.

I gots a plan.

- [Snoring]

- He's safer sleeping.

Besides, the aliens
will never find him now.

Come on, there's more
in the other room.

- Oh, dear,
these could be dangerous.

All: aliens!

[Screaming]

[Dog barking]

- What's wrong, boy?

Are the kids out there?

- Come on, chuckie,
this is no time to hide.

- This is a perfect
time to hide.

- We gots to stop the aliens.

- How'd they get inside?

- Look!

B-b-but they already stoled
all your toys, tommy.

- It's okay, chuckie.

At least they didn't steal
my mommy and daddy

Or turn them into aliens.

Yep, my daddy's safe right here.

[All gasp]

[All gasp]

- Did you guys
see what I seed?

- It must have been
the biggest alien I ever sawed.

- Come on,
we'd better find my mommy.

- There's your mommy!

- But, she's got alien ears.

- Oh, no, my mommy's
been takened over by aliens!

- They're not in here.

I better find them
before didi does.

[Pounding at glass]

[Grunting]

- Oh, no, the aliens
are trying to get back in.

- We has to make them go away.

Uh, okay, if aliens
was chasing us,

Uh, what would we do?

- I'd scream, real loud!

- That's a great idea, chuckie.

- It is? Really?

I do it a lot.

- Loud noises scare things away.

Come on.

- I better try the front door.

[Pots and pans clattering]

[Talk radio blaring]

- [Babbling loudly]

[Doorbell buzzing]

- They're all around us!

[Doorbell buzzing]

[Toy siren wailing]

- Wow, that ginger jolt tea
really perked me up.

[Buzzing and wailing continue]

What on earth?

- It doesn't look like anybody's
gonna hear us, fellas,

And it sounds like I'm missing
the best part of the movie.

- Hey, listen.

- I don't hear nothing.

- That's cause we scared 'em.

- Look.

- Huh?

- They're leaving.

- We did it.

The aliens are gone!

[All cheering]

But they tooked my daddy
with them.

And they turned my mommy
into an alien.

- [Screaming]

[Both giggling]

- How's your movie marathon,
stu?

- My movie mar--oh, yeah,
it's scary, very scary.

I even had to go outside
for some fresh air.

[Chuckles]

- We did it, tommy.

We got rid of the aliens

And even made them give
your mommy and daddy back.

- I told you
we could do it, guys.

Aliens from outside space
is no match for us.

- Next, the aliens
are coming back,

And this time,
they're bringing their friends.

[All screaming]

- Choo-choo.
- Choo-choo!

- Here, kimi,
this is little miss clucks.

She was my super fave
when I was a mini like you!

Oh, I'm so fabbed you minis
are into my old stuff.

It's total time warp.

[Toy squeaking]

- Who knew taffy liked toys too?

This is going to be
the bestest playdate ever.

- Yeah, tommy.

She called this a bored game,

But I think it's lots of fun.

- Choo-choo!
- Choo-choo!

- Hey, minis,
I've got a great game

We can all play together.

Patty cake, patty cake,
baker's man,

Bake me a cake
as fast as you can.

Uh, something and something,

And a mark it
with a something and, uh--

Maybe I should get the words.

Old mcdonald and a farm.

Bo peep and sheep.

Mary and the lamb.

Aha, patty cake!

Wait, that's not trash!

- Oops, sorry.

Here ya go.

- Wow, you're
cleaning the park

Out of the goodness
of your heart?

Littering is so uncool.

You're so enviro-conscious.

- Yeah, well,
taking care of the earth

Is important and stuff.

- I'm taffy.

- I'm dusty.

- Yeah, I guess you are.

[Romantic music swells]

- Why's taffy playing
with that guy instead of us?

- Maybe he got some patty cakes.

- [Sniffing]

He don't smell like cakes.

He smells like phil and lil.

- Mine!
- Mine!

- Do you sees what I sees,
phillip?

- Yep, that guy gots a whole bag
full of dirty old garbage.

- So do you think of yourself
as an after-school activist

Or a sanitation artist?

- Uh, the artist one.

- Fab! I'm an artist too!

I'm a singer in a rock band.

[Strums guitar]

- Awesome.

I was in a band once,

Until I found out you have to,
like, practice and stuff.

- Yeah, it's not easy.

That's why until I hit it big
as a rock star,

I do part-time babysitting
on the side.

It's my way of giving back
to the community,

You know, by nurturing
the next generation.

Minis! Minis!

Come meet our new friend, dusty.

- Wow, taking care of babies
must be rough.

- Nah, I love them,
and they're really well-behaved.

[Babies laughing]

- I'm gonna get the garbage!

- Usually.

Sorry.

- It's cool.

Here, little twin dudes,

Let me show you
what to do with trash.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Now, you try.

Awesome.

Hey, you want to be
my assistant?

It's a big job, but I know
you can do it, little dude.

- Wow, you're tremendo
with the minis,

And environmentally safe.

Want to join us for lunch?

- Yeah, food's cool.

- Come on, let's go play
with taffy's toys some more.

- Uh, phil?

Are you coming?

- Can't, tommy,
I gots a job to do.

Look at all the 'sgusting stuff
I'm getting.

- Oh, let's play in it!

- First, I gots to get
a whole bunch of stuff.

Then we can play in it.

Look out!

- I try to feed the minis
all-natural food.

Eating healthy
is mondo important.

- Oh, yeah, I only eat
low-sodium pork rinds myself.

- Wow, you're really
health-conscious too.

Minis, lunchtime!

- Where could it be?

Oh, not fast, trash.

Got it.

- Ooh, stinkiful.

- We can't play yet, lil.

I don't gots 'nuf
messy stuffs yet.

I need more, more, more!

- But I don't see
anymore messy stuffs.

- These leaves
look kind of messy.

- Wow, look at phil.

He's fully into
collecting garbage.

Great job, phil,
I'll save your lunch.

You're so inspirational.

- Cool. Pass the juice boxes?

- I'm going to write
a new song in your honor.

- [Belches]

- Where's phil?

- He runned out of trash,
so he's picking up leaves.

- It's real nice of him
to clean the park.

- I guess so.

- What's wrong, lil?

- Phil's not very friendly
anymores.

The phil I know
likes playing in trashies,

Not cleaning it.

He likes squishing baby food
in his toes

And eatin' bugs.

This phil's not right.

- Not worry, lil, I'm sure phil

Will be back to his old
playing self afore you know it.

- Nope, he's not right,
all right.

- Babies, I gots an idea.

I know how we can get
the old phil back.

- Hiya, phil.

Ready for some playing?

- You done with that?

- I guess.

- Done yet?

- No!

- Well, then can I have a lick?

- Okay...

- As long as phil's here,

Why don't all play a nice,
relaxing game of rolleyball?

- Too busy, working.

- What do we do, tommy?

- Don't worry, when he sees
how much fun we're having,

He'll remember having fun
is fun.

- I think it's working.

[Air hissing]

- Well, my job here is done.

- Okay, now he's gone too far.

- Yeah, he's even taken
our fun away.

- Philip, stop!

I got to tell you something.

- Hurry up.
I got lots of trash to get to.

- You're not acting
like the philip we knowed.

- So?
- So?

You don't want to play.
You flatted our ball.

You even throwed
away an ice cream.

An ice cream, philip!

You said we could play

With the messy stuffs
you gotted.

I want to play with it now!

- Look what you did!

Now I gots to start all over!

[Strums guitar]

- ♪ Some people say trash can

♪ But I say trash can't

♪ 'Cause when you throw away
the trash ♪

♪ You keep away the ants

♪ You know the earth's
your mother ♪

♪ And you know
you got to love her ♪

♪ 'Cause trash is my bag,
trash is my bag ♪

♪ Trash is my bag

Yeah!
Take it, dusty.

- ♪ Trash is my bag,
trash is my bag ♪

Whoa, mrs. Rappel,

What are you doing here
so early?

- I just thought I'd stop by
for a surprise inspection,

And may I congratulate you
on a trash detail well done?

Except you obviously aren't
the one who did it.

- I got a really funny
explanation for that,

Mrs. Rappel.

- Oh, and I do so love to laugh.

But let's save it for tomorrow,
shall we?

Same time, same place,

Three bags this time,
extra large.

- Trash detail?

What's she talking about?

- Oh, well, you see.

Picking up trash isn't so much
a passion as, well,

A punishment.

It's kind of a one-day deal
for littering.

- Littering?

- It was an accident!

The candy wrapper
just slipped out of my hand.

- And I thought
you were so into trash.

- I am!
I love trash.

I live for trash.

- I think you better go.

You're not the trash man
I thought you were.

- Not cool.

- Wow!

I did it.

I gots all the stuffs
I could get.

- Good job, little dude.

Now you can start all over.

[All laughing and shouting]

- Aw.

- There's always
more trash to get.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah, don't blame ya.

- I brought your ball back.

- Oh, thanks.

Why aren't you at work?

- I quit.

- You did?
- Yeah.

You work real hard

Putting all the good stuffs
you can find in a bag,

And then the boss guy comes
and throws it all away!

What's the fun
of getting garbage

If you don't get to keep it?

- No fun at all.

So, you want to play with us?

- Sure.

- How about a scoop of sand
in your diapey?

- You gots to ask?

- I gots my old phil back!

[All cheering]

- Hey, you're not mad at me
for ruining all the fun.

- Nope, just the parts
you ruined.

- Ah, good.

Kimi, I'm sorry
about your ice cream.

- It's okay.

There will probably
be other ice creams.

- But there's only one phil!

[All laughing]

- Okay, minis.

I can only remember the lyrics
to patty cake

If I sing it taffy-style.

[Strums guitar]

♪ Patty cake, patty cake,
baker's man ♪

♪ Bake me a cake
as fast as you can ♪

♪ Roll it, and pat it

♪ And mark it with a "b"

♪ And put it in the oven
for the minis and me ♪

- I only eat low-sodium
pork rinds myself.
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