♪ "Adventure Time" ♪
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪
♪ We'll go to very
distant lands ♪
♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪
♪ The fun will never end ♪
♪ It's "Adventure Time" ♪
*ADVENTURE TIME*
Season 07 Episode 06
♪♪
Episode Title: "Marceline the Vampire Queen"
♪♪
Come on, Marce.
It'll only hurt for a second.
That's nothing
in the face of eternity.
A second hurts really bad
in the face of eternity.
But only for a moment.
Wait.
I have an even better idea.
Sunscreen... spf 10... Million.
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm!
I have exactly enough
to reach my umbrella.
Ha!
You really like
chopping wood, huh?
I'm not chopping wood.
I made a toothpick
from the ancient elm.
See?
Oh!
Whoa!
Uh, knock, knock.
What the dip, Marceline?
Sorry.
It was supposed to be a joke.
Actually, I have something
really serious to ask.
I want you to do the procedure,
the one we talked about.
I'm sorry, but I don't think
you'd make a good blonde.
No, not that.
I don't want
to be a vampire anymore.
Oh, my globness.
You said you were working
on a cure, right?
Well, the machine is built
and the serums
are ready,
but are you sure
you want to do this?
I'm sure.
Some bad things happened to me
when I was little.
When I became a vampire,
I was just a messed-up kid.
Now it's 1,000 years later,
and I'm still messed up.
I don't want to spend eternity
like this, with this emptiness.
I want to grow up.
Okay. Let's do this.
This means
someday you'll die.
You know that, right?
I guess that'll be
my last adventure.
Marceline...
I'm so very,
very, very excited
to test my new lab out
on you.
Well, don't get all sentimental
on me.
Come on over here.
You know
I care about you.
I think you're making
the right choice.
Your natural life-span
is going to be richer and Fuller
than you can imagine.
And someday,
when you die,
I'll be the one
who puts you in the ground.
But, you know, this operation
might not even work.
WhOooOooooa!
This tickles
really bad!
Did it work?
Well, I sucked all your vampire
effluvium into this bucket.
Possibly we won't know the
results for a couple of days.
In the meantime, you need
to get plenty of rest.
I'll check your vitals
in the morning.
Thanks, p. Brains.
No!
Huh?
It's breakfast time
for my sweet babies.
Sweet babies!
Operator!
Put me through to Finn and Jake.
It's an emergency.
Victim's lost
a lot of blood.
Clean entry wounds.
It's an expert job.
Poor miss baby.
She used to be
my best cream cow.
But now her milk
is nonfat.
And nanette, my beautiful
calf... Is decaf!
That's terrible!
Every farm in our village
was att*cked.
Not a goat or a cow or a duck
left un-sucked.
Well, I've heard enough.
Come on, Finn.
Let's go arrest
Marceline.
Wait a minute.
We don't even know
if Marceline did this.
That's right. I forgot about Ooo's
extensive vampire community.
Come on!
Yeah, but we need to conduct
a proper investigation.
I know that.
Ain't no rookie.
All right, come on.
I'll let you be bad cop.
I'm already bad cop.
Okay, listen up,
hayseeds.
Me and my partner
will "interrogate"
the suspect
police-style.
Meanwhile, you sharpen up
your pitchforks mob-style.
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, man,
that's not right.
Marceline's our friend.
Physical contact!
Officer resisting arrest!
Boom!
Ow!
Ohh, woof.
Marceline want
to go NY-NY.
Don't go NY-NY, Marci.
I'm worried.
For real? Why?
Well, the process
was experimental.
Like,
are there side effects?
What happened in your sleep
last night?
Nobody on record
has ever cured vampirism,
unless you count
k*lling vampires as curing.
In that case,
you've cured tons, right?
"Tons"
is an understatement.
That shnoz was nasty,
nasty times.
Hey, cover up.
The sun's hitting the door.
I'm still undead?
We don't know yet.
So just chill.
Oh, hey, guys.
How you doing?
Jake did excessive force
on me.
I'm sorry.
Let me kiss it!
Ew! Ew!
Hurry up.
Get in here.
You done it this time,
Marceline.
You sucked the life
out of defenseless animals.
I ain't done nothing.
You think I'm buying
that boom-boom Mountain?
Oh, get some proof.
You want proof?
Look.
Whoa!
Proof how off I'm gonna go
if you don't confess.
Yo, chill, Jake.
I'm wilin' out!
Listen, Marci, I can barely
control this guy,
and the villagers
are getting crazy.
They want to run you over
with a wagon,
and I'm offering you
a way out.
Hey, dillweeds,
I just swept the place.
Sorry.
Finn,
be real for a second.
All right.
Look into my eyes, man.
I didn't do it.
To be honest, it looks like
you're not sure if you did it.
Okay, I'm not sure!
Something weird happened
last night.
I had a weird dream
about stuff.
Dream stuff
always means something.
We'll figure this out, Marci,
together.
- We promise.
- Thanks, Finn.
That's cool, you guys, but clean
this mess, also, you bums.
He's a gob-gleebin'
vampire hugger!
We got to tell the town!
Book it, Terry!
Run, Terry! Run!
How long do we have to stay in
the laundry house, cloud dance?
Until Finn and Jake
avert the thr*at.
We can't afford
to lose more livestock.
We're struggling as is
to keep our kids fed.
Let's just stay in here
until the dirty vampire
gets what's coming to her.
But I want to bop her
in the nose!
Hey, now,
it's too dangerous, okay?
Us small towns,
we got to stay close.
Each of us play a vital role,
and I can't afford
losing any of you.
Not you, clubhouse Sandy,
or you, seed man,
or even you,
sandwich Paul.
Sensei Paul.
Let's leave the fighting
to the fighters, okay, Paul?
That hurts.
You don't know I teach aikido.
Finn's been turned!
Wha?!
He does
the vampire's bidding.
Well, there it is.
Tonight we burn
the beast Marceline.
Woof.
I can barely stand up.
Look at this.
It's my new dance.
It's called
"I got arthritis."
Ohh.
The end.
You should have hung back
with P.B.
But I've got
a bad feeling
like you guys are gonna die
without me.
Dang, Marci.
Have some faith. Geez.
Guys, look.
Moo!
Get it!
You see it?
No.
But what's that?
Must be
its filthy lair.
What's wrong?
Remember how I said
my fear of vampires
was based on ignorance?
Yeah.
Well,
I think that revelation
was actually
based on true ignorance.
So you're scared
of vampires again?
Yeah, man,
don't be ignorant.
Come on.
Okay, but I'm gonna hold on
to your shirt.
Look at these poor babies.
What's happening to them?
Y-y-you tell me, m-man.
Moo.
I think they're in the process
of being turned, eh?
Ugh, glob.
Something big just dropped
in my gut.
Hang in there, bro.
I can't be here, man.
It's too real.
Wait, you hear that?
Listen.
There!
A little help.
Jake!
Hey, get back here!
Dang! Lost him!
Marci?
Hey, Marci, you still out here?
She's still out here,
all right.
Oh, hey, man.
Did you see a scary beast go by?
I chased it out here,
but it got away.
Oh, we found that beast, and
we took care of her real nice...
You vampire hugger!
Wait, what?
Lookum yonder.
What the blood?
You dumb bumbags!
Now look at
the other yonder.
Huh?
Oh, fudge!
You're sick, man!
What's wrong with you?
What?
I'm the good guy here.
You're gonna explode
my friend.
Blow her up!
Blow her up!
Oh, flip, you're right.
This is way messed up.
Run, Finn!
You got to b*at the sun!
Go, Finn! Go!
Aaaaaaah!
Marceline, nOoooo!
Don't let anyone
read my diaries.
Burn them, Finn!
They're embarrassi...