08x07 - Blade on the Feather

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(GULLS CRY) - (GROWLS) - (WHIMPERS) How long have you been up for? An hour or so.

I couldn't sleep.

Did James wake you? No, I've been trying to write my resignation Letter.

- I'm just struggling with it.

- Why? Because I've been at the school since I was five, Martin.

I thought you'd made your mind up.

Well, yes, I have.

You're overstretched.

- I know.

Do you want me to write it for you? No.

It's It's just difficult.

Shouldn't be.

"Dear so-and-so, I am writing to inform you that I would like to hand in my resignation as headmistress " Martin.

Really, it's not helping.

(WHIMPERS) BUFFY: three four five six - Come on! - seven eight This is great! Nine! Ten! - Everybody all right? - Yeah.

OK, we're going to head around There we go.

All right, ship oars! All right.

OK, get yourselves ready.

Training starts in ten minutes sharp.

Ms Taylor.

Welcome back to Portwenn.

PC Penhale.

You're looking good.

Have you been working out? Erm As umpire this year, I'd like a nice clean race.

Unlike last year.

We b*at you fair and square last year.

Only on a technicality, after a rather protracted appeal.

Not so square and fair.

Well, I don't make the rules.

I just know them better than anyone else, apparently.

Really? What's rule 20, then? All gigs must complete races by following the course as instructed.

Actually, you're wrong.

No, you're right.

Hold up! I think we're definitely getting better.

- Huh! That's debatable.

- Good morning.

Good morning.

Looking good.

Thank you.

Hm.

- (TITTERING) - Come on then.

Let's go.

They look properly confident.

Course they're confident.

They've won four in a row.

Well, Ellie, like I always say, it's what you do today that counts, not yesterday.

All we need to do is follow Eric's lead.

He's in the stroke position, setting the rhythm.

- I think we've got a real chance.

- Argh! - Ooh! - Dad? - I'm OK, I'm OK.

Move the boat! - All right.

Move the boat.

Keep moving her forwards.

Good one, Pippa.

- You crocked our best rower.

- It weren't my fault.

- What's happened? Is it your hand? - My finger.

Oh, man up! I'm sure its not as bad as you think.

I'll head to the doc's, see if he can fix it.

Ellie, you'll need to cover for me at the fish stall.

What? I didn't even wanna do this in the first place.

- It was your idea.

- Ellie! And now I've got to work at the stall and wear that stupid hat and stink of fish? I'm in a lot of pain right now.

So, please, open up the fish stall.

(GROANS) What's wrong with your leg? Not that there's anything wrong with your legs.

It's an old training injury.

It's what they call dedication.

Dedication looks pretty painful.

I'll see you at the garage at five.

I'm so sorry I can't meet for lunch.

Bye, sweetie.

I'm sorry.

I'm late.

Bye.

Morwenna, stop messing around with boats and open the surgery.

I need to go and get changed.

Doc.

A minute of your time.

This is Dr Ellingham.

He'll have a look at your legs leg.

Yes, it's actually quite painful now so If you want a consultation, make an appointment.

- You could tell me what it is.

- It's a leg.

If you want me to diagnose your condition, come to the surgery.

"It's a leg"! BERT: Al! Al! A little bit of help.

I'm very busy, Dad.

Al! Al What is it? I'm in agony up here.

(SIGHS) Right.

OK! Oi.

You took your time.

I'm packing cases.

What's happened? It's my foot.

You've got to get me up the hill to see the doctor.

What, now? No, no, not if it's inconvenient.

I'm about to pass out cos of the excruciating pain that is throbbing through my toe.

But if you'd rather wait, you know, have a bit of breakfast, read the paper (CHATTERING) Would you take James, please? - What's wrong with your arm? - Nothing, it's just a rash.

- Let me see.

- It came up overnight.

- Looks like lichen planus.

- What's that, then? Is it contagious? No.

Come to the surgery.

I'll prescribe something.

But don't scratch it! You'll make it worse.

Goodbye, James.

Have a good day.

- (THUDDING AND CLATTERING) - MAN: Ohh! Ooh! (GROANS) - You all right? - (GRUNTS) Don't make a fuss, Doc.

I've got to get to work.

Just tripped on the last step.

Ignore him, Doc.

He's got two left feet.

It's all right.

Doc says it's not contagious.

How's the leg? (SIGHS) I thought it'd be better by now.

- Ooh! The size of that lump! - Oh.

It wasn't as big as that this morning.

Maybe I should go and see that doctor of yours.

I strongly advise you do.

As umpire, I have discretion to decide if people are physically fit for the competition or not.

Also, that looks terrifying.

Yes.

Fine, I'll go and see that Dr Ellington after practice.

- Ellingham.

- What? It's Dr Ellingham.

- gham.

- Right.

It's up there.

Just tell him Joe Penhale sent you.

He'll know what you mean.

Oh.

Right.

So he'll see me quicker if I mention your name? Probably not, no.

So why did you bring this up? You were trying to impress me.

Did it impress you? No.

Think you can fix it? It's not broken.

It's dislocated.

Look that way.

- (CRACKING) - Argh! Bit of warning next time, Doc.

- Can you feel that? - Yeah.

Good.

I'll need to splint that and bandage it.

- How long will that be for? - Come back in three days.

But it will need to stay bound for at least two weeks.

- No, no, no, Doc.

We've got the race.

- No.

You're not racing.

There's got to be a way.

I've convinced Ellie to get involved.

Spends most of her time on her bloody phone.

She'll be pretty annoyed if she has to row without me.

Can't you just give it an injection or something? You need to rest your hand to avoid doing further and more serious damage to yourself.

This is important.

- No, it's not.

It's a boat race.

- So? - Sorry, Morwenna.

Oh, Doc, wasn't there anything else you could do? No, there wasn't.

Doc, can you help me here? Yes.

Go through.

You know if I could race, I would.

Where am I gonna find somebody last minute to take your place? Oh, no, no.

I mean, I wish I could, I really do but I need to look after the pub tomorrow, - especially as Dad's not so well.

- Oh, cheers.

- It's gout.

- Gout?! - But I don't drink port, Doc.

- Gout's got nothing to do with port.

Babies get gout.

There's often a genetic predisposition towards a high level of uric acid in the blood.

That's very interesting, Doc, but I'm in agony here.

Yes, I'll prescribe you naproxen to dull the pain and test your blood to see if you'd benefit from allopurinol, but that's a long-term solution.

I need to get back on my feet so I can help out.

Isn't there some quick fix you can give me? No.

It doesn't work like that.

Keep your foot raised for a week, put an ice-pack on your toe and drink plenty of water.

Well, if you can't help me, can you think of anyone else who can? You used to row, didn't you, Mr Cleveland? I did, yes.

In fact, I rowed alongside your grandfather, Morwenna.

- Really? I didn't know that.

- Before your time, of course.

If you're in a real bind I could get into the boat again and (COUGHS AND CHOKES) You're all right, Mr C.

I'm sure we'll find someone.

Thanks though.

Oh.

All right, Alice? I'd like to see Dr Ellington.

It's Ellingham, Ellingham.

Yeah, Ellingham.

I should be able to squeeze you in in about an hour.

- Is there nothing earlier? - I'm in no rush.

(COUGHS) She can go before me.

Oh.

I hear you're a man down.

I do hope you find someone.

Won't be much of a contest otherwise.

Mind you Yes, maybe this year will be different, eh? Take a seat.

Maybe.

- Everything OK, Dad? - I've got gout, boy.

I've got to put my leg up for a week.

- What about the pub? - I'm the invalid here.

- Next patient? - Alice Taylor.

She's from Port Carran but I'll register her as a temporary patient.

- Yes.

Come through.

- Thanks.

- Morning, Bert.

- Hello, Janet.

- A whole week? - I could try and get up for lunch and dinner but how about breakfast in bed, eh? We'll man all the boats and we'll head out to sea ALL: Wey, hey, blow the man down Erm Out on the waves now, so wild and so free ALL: Whoa, give me some time to blow the man down I've got something to tell you.

I've made a big decision.

You're leaving Martin? No! I've decided to give in my notice.

- I think.

- You think? Well, I was sure, but it's easy to say it.

It's harder to actually do it.

And I'll miss the kids and the school and - That must be so tough.

- Mm.

If you did leave, do you think I'd get your job? - I've no idea.

- No, of course.

You could write me a reference though, if you wanted.

- No pressure.

- Pippa.

ALL: Whoa, give me some time to blow the man down It's fine.

It'll be good on the actual day.

They just need to learn their lines.

It's been hurting for a while.

My GP had a look, but it's just blown up.

Mm.

It's a Baker's cyst.

They can come up very quickly.

- Sounds manageable.

- No.

It needs to be dealt with.

If it bursts, which it looks like it could at any moment, and fluid leaks into your calf, the pain will be excruciating.

If you deal with it, can I row tomorrow? Yes.

I'll draw out the fluid and put a dressing on.

So will you cut it open? No, I'll insert a needle and draw it out with a syringe.

No, I have I have this thing with needles.

You won't feel anything.

I had a terrible experience as a child.

I had jaundice.

A lot of blood was taken.

It was very painful.

Well, that's understandable.

If you stick a needle in me, I might throw up.

My GP normally gives me lorazepam, a sedative.

I don't prescribe unnecessary medicines.

Does your watch have a second hand? - Yes.

- Good.

Lie down and look at your watch, and count the seconds out loud.

Come on.

20 21 Right.

This is just a local anaesthetic.

25 26 27 28 29 30 31 What's that for? In case you vomit.

41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 Oh, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing? - Get that thing away from me! - Don't be silly.

Come on.

Oh, God! Oh.

(CLEARS THROAT) (HEAVY THUD) - Wake up! - (HEAVY SLAP) Doc! You OK? Stop hitting me.

Oh, God, is she still bleeding? - Everything OK? - What? Get out! Go on.

Morwenna, I need plasters and butterfly stitches.

All right.

You know you were both unconscious? On the floor? - What, he passed out too? - Why did you pass out? I hate needles.

What have I done to my head? You must have hit it when you fell.

Oh! I told you.

You didn't listen.

Now look at me.

I have a cup to win tomorrow.

No.

You should stay at home.

You're not fit to practise.

You are a liability.

- Just go home and get some rest.

- No.

The way you've treated me is disgraceful.

I've drained your cyst and dressed your wound.

A wound inflicted by you.

- Don't be absurd.

- OK.

(LOW CONVERSATION) - Do you want me to call you a taxi? - No.

I can I can walk.

Lying on the floor, both of them.

What, seriously? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Yes.

Do you want me to cancel your patients? Why would I do that? Well, in case you're you know not feeling well.

No, I'm fine.

Thank you.

Show them in.

All right.

Erm Oh.

Mel's here.

She's a bit early but she's got to go.

Yes, come through.

Take a seat.

Thank you.

Show me your wrist.

Are you all right? I heard you fainted.

It's lichen planus.

Nobody knows where it comes from.

There's nothing you could have done to prevent it.

I'll prescribe a corticosteroid cream to soothe the irritation.

Do you wash yourself with soap? Of course.

There's nothing wrong with my hygiene.

The soap will be drying your skin, increasing the itching.

From now on, just wash with water but do keep washing.

Will it go away? It should do.

Between six and nine months.

What's wrong with your arm? Oh, Graham fell over and knocked into it.

- Who's Graham? - Graham.

My husband Graham.

You met him this morning.

Oh.

Does he fall over a lot? Sometimes.

Do you think he has a problem with alcohol? No! He has the occasional beer, very occasional, but I'd know if there was a problem.

- Well, you might not.

- Are you saying he's lying to me? I'm not saying anything.

Just get him to come see me.

- He wouldn't come here.

- Why not? Just ask him.

You're very abrasive.

I'm sure he'd do what you said.

Yes.

Right.

Thanks.

AL: Any luck? No.

Half the village don't want to row cos they think we're gonna lose, and the other half are physically incapable.

Put me in the second camp.

I have every faith in your ability.

Chippy said you'd put Port Carran down as odds-on favourites to win.

I'm in a lot of pain and wish to be left alone.

Now.

- Come on, Al.

Please.

- Last time I got in a boat, I smashed a woman in the face with the oar and burst her nose.

- I remember that.

- It was an accident.

Morwenna, I'd love to help but I've got this place, so The pub is gonna open later now.

I promised Louisa I'd go up to the school and help sell tickets and programmes.

That is very kind of you, Bert.

Doing something for the good of the village.

If only there were more people like you about.

(TUTS) If I don't say yes, you're gonna keep asking me - and asking me, aren't you? - No, no, no.

If you're too scared to get in a boat, that's no problem at all.

I'm not scared.

I'm not.

OK.

I'll row.

Yeah.

Hm.

(SHOP BELL TINKLES) Yes? Hello.

Er I'd like some paracetamol, please.

Oh, dear.

What's happened to you? I passed out in the doctor's surgery.

Oh.

That doctor passed out too.

It was quite the scene.

What? Is he all right? He's fine.

Something to do with seeing my blood on the floor.

Oh, yes.

He's a martyr.

Oh, really? In what way? Oh, it's an affliction.

A phobia.

He's had it ever since he came here.

Before he came here.

Actually why he had to leave London.

And he fights through it, each and every day.

Thank you.

You've been very helpful.

45p, please.

Thank you.

But why do you think you fainted? I don't know.

- Has your blood phobia got worse? - No, I don't think so.

- I thought you had it under control.

- Yes, I do have it under control.

I thought we were looking for a car.

This one's practical.

No.

- Louisa.

Doc.

Hello, there.

- I like this one.

Oh, it's cheap to run.

You can park it anywhere.

You can take it for a test drive, if you like.

You're slurring your words.

- Have you been drinking? - Absolutely not.

Have you been talking to my wife? Martin.

Yes, I'd love a test drive.

That would be great.

I shall get the keys.

- This one? - Mm.

I think it's fun.

Fun? (WIPER BLADES SQUEAK) - It's very small, isn't it? - Mm.

Where would you put the child seat? - It's fine.

I can put it in the front.

- Where would I sit? It's not really meant for family outings.

It's just to help me get to and from college.

- Change out of third now.

- Yeah, I know what I'm doing.

- It's been a long time since you drove.

- Martin, shush.

Are you coming up to the school to watch the race tomorrow? I hadn't planned to.

You know it'll be my last time doing the performance.

- It would mean a lot if you were there.

- Mirror.

(SIGHS) Have you handed in your letter of resignation? Mm.

Mostly.

- What do you mean? - I mean I've written the letter.

I just haven't officially passed it over yet, as it were.

I don't know what that means.

It means I haven't handed it in yet.

- Why not? - Because, Martin, I haven't.

Can you just let me concentrate on the road, please? - Very close on this side.

- Yes.

- And slowly round the corners.

- Yes.

I have actually driven a car before.

Not this one.

What were you thinking, running your mouth off in front of the doc? Because I'm worried about you.

A couple of times a week, you're completely sozzled.

I am not.

Why can't you trust me? I'm not stupid, you know.

You should go and see him.

- Right, so how did we find it? - Yeah, I like it.

Well, obviously we're going to look at other cars.

No, I'm going to buy it.

Well, I'll get the paperwork organised, give the car a once-over and we can drop it off tomorrow, then.

Thank you.

What? It's my money, Martin.

Yes, I understand that, but But what? - But nothing.

- It's a nice car.

It's a good decision.

(WHIMPERS) (WHINES) (BANGING AT DOOR) Doc, sorry it's late, but you did say if Graham wanted to talk.

Yes, come in.

So, we had a talk, and he still says he's not drinking.

I'm not! Well, something's going on, isn't it? That's why I've come here, Doc.

You see, some nights I'm swaying all over the place and the next day I feel awful.

I'm I'm worried that it might be might be Parkinson's.

What makes you think that? I was looking it up and I've got the same symptoms.

Really? Do you have any of the following: tremors or stiffness, sight problems, cramps, difficulty swallowing, dribbling? Sometimes I have stomach cramps.

- Not the others? - No.

It's not Parkinson's.

Diet? Er no.

Not me.

What is your diet? Oh, bit of cheese, bit of bread, chicken.

Mel here cooks up a lot of pies, like shepherd's, cottage, fish.

Stop talking.

I need you to blow into this.

This will indicate any alcohol on your breath.

Wasting your time there, Doc.

I know for sure that I don't.

Let me see.

Well, this says that you do.

The equivalent of two or three glasses of wine.

- Or cider.

- Something you want to tell me, Graham? - It can't be right.

- It's a medical fact.

Or are you gonna argue with facts now? I'll take a blood sample.

Measure the alcohol in that.

Don't pass out, Doc.

I just don't understand it, Doc.

I mean, I don't even remember the last time I had a drink, - it were that long ago.

- Well, you have been stressed at work.

If you tell me the truth, Graham, right now, I promise I won't be mad.

- I am telling the truth.

- Oh, for goodness sake.

Until I get your blood sample results back, you can't drive.

- I've got to deliver Louisa's car.

- I can do that.

Wait for me outside.

I just need a minute to talk to the doc about that rash.

So? I told you before, it's lichen planus.

No, not about me! Graham! He's got a lot of faults, Doc, but being a liar's not one of 'em.

- At least, I didn't think so.

- Well, if he is an alcoholic, they can be very secretive about their drinking.

See if you can find some evidence.

I'll watch him like a hawk, Doc.

Yes.

- Good morning, Constable.

- Oh! Oh, sorry, did I scare you? No, not at all.

It's just I'm trained to react so it could have been dangerous.

You shouldn't really creep up on me like that.

- Well, I hope you're not sabotaging our gig.

- Just measuring the boat.

As umpire, I take my impartiality very seriously.

Ms Taylor, are you sure you're feeling well enough to compete? What? - Did the doc say you're OK to race? - Yes, fine.

It was just a cyst.

He jabbed it with a needle, drained it, then collapsed.

Any other questions? I was meant to get married this year, but my wife more or less left me at the altar.

What was meant to be the greatest day of my life turned out to be the worst.

And? Sometimes we think we're doing well when actually we're not.

But we're so determined to make things right, we don't notice.

Yeah, well, thank you for being so considerate.

- Sorry you got jilted.

- It's OK.

But the only thing that matters is that we won last year.

And the year before.

And we will win this year again.

Have you never heard the expression, "It's not the winning that counts, it's the taking part"? Yes, but only by the people who don't win.

Excuse me.

You can take them down to the fundraiser - but don't forget to put their reins on, all right? - OK.

- Really? - Just checking.

You've been checking on me all night and all morning.

Even got up in the night when I went to the bloody bathroom.

Oh That was an accident.

- Don't leave stuff in the boat.

- I didn't mean to.

Hold it! OK, keep it level while we just do final checks.

They look so much better than us.

It's not about how they look.

It's about what they do.

You mean like winning four years in a row? All right! But we've got something they haven't.

Oh, please don't say heart.

No, I wasn't gonna say that.

It's been ages since Portwenn tasted victory.

And last year we came so close only for Port Carran to rob us of that trophy.

But this year, we're taking it back.

Because today, today is our day for glory! That's when you're meant to start clapping and cheering.

(SIREN WAILS) Oh, God.

Who gave him that? Here we go.

Right.

Listen up, everyone.

Gather round.

I want you to get into your gigs and go to the starting line.

The bull horn will signal the start of the race.

I want you to row out, around the buoy and then back again.

The first team to cross the finishing line will be the winner.

May the best team win.

Good luck, Portwenn.

I hope they drown.

Let's get this over with.

Oi, oi, oi! Here's your programme and ticket.

Would you like to place a bet on the winner of the race? Is that for charity as well? Only if you bet on Portwenn.

No, thank you.

So, here we are, ladies and gentlemen.

Make sure you stop by a stall.

Don't want any stingy people here.

There's the raffle, if you fancy your chances.

I've bought 20 tickets, so better win something this year.

Louisa? Oh, very nautical.

I just thought I'd make an effort.

Here.

Let me.

Thank you.

Is Martin here? I wanted to have a word with him.

He's most likely holed up in the surgery avoiding people.

I asked him to come as it's probably my last fundraiser, but you know Martin.

Sorry, excuse me, Ruth.

David, where's your costume? Yes, well go on.

There's Mrs Thompson's famous sponge cake.

Probably the only thing around here that doesn't float.

Right? No.

To be fair, Mrs Thompson, with all you've gone through, I'm amazed you even get up in the morning, let alone bake a cake.

So Morwenna used to have a fear of rowing but fortunately that ship has sailed.

Martin? Are you here? Ruth.

I heard about your fainting.

Why didn't you see me about it? - It was a one-off.

- Everything is a one-off until it happens again.

What does Louisa mean when she says this is her last fundraiser? She's stopping teaching to concentrate on her course.

Oh, good.

And that's fine with you? Yes.

Yes, we've discussed it.

It's a good decision.

But why are you hiding here, then, when she wants you to join her up at the fundraiser? - I'm not hiding.

- Oh, good.

Then you can walk me back up there.

Come on.

Yes.

You do realise there'll be children singing and the whole thing will be ghastly, don't you? Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

Erm a slice of the sponge, please.

A large one.

Mel.

Ooh, I didn't realise it was fancy dress.

Well, it's not really, you know.

How's James? When are they coming down? They're bringing them down at the end of the day.

Yes, it's best when it's a bit quieter, I think.

And one of these for my little friend here.

Right.

Everyone pay attention to me! Everyone looking at me! Everyone! Right, the race is about to start.

(CHEERING) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Rowers, are you ready? Three, two, one (KLAXON) And they're off! And we're off to a good start.

The boats will head out around the buoy and then they'll disappear for a while which, to be honest, is pretty boring.

So, in the meantime, the children are gonna perform for us.

Let's hope it's not quite so boring.

I'm sure it won't Fingers crossed.

Ha-ha A long time ago, the Cornish gig was a work boat, taking pilots out to ships in the stormy Atlantic.

They would race to get jobs and argued about which village had the fastest boats.

Which is why, for years and years, Portwenn and Port Carran have battled it out for the annual Gig Cup.

We'll man all our boats and we'll head out to sea Wey, hey, blow the man down (SINGS DRUNKENLY) Whoa! Give me some time to blow the man down - Blow the man down - Be quiet! - Oi, keep it down, eh? - Might want to go easy on the beer as well.

- I'm not drinking! - Sound like you have to me.

He hasn't.

I've been watching him all day.

Mel, he does seem a little worse for wear.

Louisa, I swear, if he'd been drinking, I'd know about it.

Why don't you just take him home? Really.

Graham Graham? Whoa! Give me some time to blow the man down (CHEERING) Thank you very much to the children of Portwenn School.

Not that boring after all.

(COXES CALL OUT) Five, six.

Seven, eight! Come on, put your backs into it! - Oh! - Oh, Al! We're losing ground! Come on! - Sorry, it was an accident.

- Absolutely useless! - I told you I was rubbish at rowing.

- No domestics! Get back to work! One two three Come on! four five six - Round the mark! - Come on.

- Round the mark! - PENHALE: Here they come, around the buoy! Portwenn have got it all to do as Port Carran open up a lead! The race is definitely in Port Carran's favour.

Not saying we'll need a miracle to catch up but I'd start praying now.

Oh, no, here's Portwenn, coming up slowly.

But you know what they say: "Slowly, slowly, catchy boaty.

" Oh, do they? (CHUCKLES) Erm hello.

Can you all hear me? I just wanted to Well, to thank you all for coming, really, and to say how much we appreciate your continued support, year after year Louisa, this isn't on the schedule.

Yeah.

Just a minute, Joe.

I remember when I first saw this race as a child, and then later as a teacher and now, as headmistress.

It's always been my favourite day of the school year.

Although I've always wanted to join the fishermen's choir! But today at least I finally get to wear the outfit! (CHEERING) Which is fitting as this year is gonna be my last year - here at Portwenn school.

- (MURMURING) Hey! Do you mind? LOUISA: trying to decide.

Even this morning, I wasn't sure if I could go through with this.

I know, it's been a difficult decision as it's been such a privilege getting to know your children and watching them grow and making their brave new steps in the world.

Look out! Aaargh! Well, I think it's time for me to do the same.

Don't go anywhere.

Oh, Joe.

- Not you.

- Oh, right.

Right.

Move.

Out of my way.

So what I've learnt from all of you parents and children is is that Don't worry, I'll put it all in the newsletter.

Got a situation here, Doc.

Hang on! I'm the one in pain here.

The car almost went over my foot.

I told you to rest and stay at home and I told you to stop driving.

- I have not been drinking.

- You're clearly under the influence.

I'm gonna get my breathalyser.

Doc, I have followed him all night, all day.

He hasn't blinked without me seeing it.

I've tasted every drink he's had.

I won't even let him go to the bathroom alone.

- It's driving me crazy.

- He cannot have been drinking.

Exactly.

(BURPS) His blood test showed the presence of alcohol, but if you're absolutely certain, there might be another explanation.

I need you to blow into this until I tell you to stop.

No, don't bother.

He'd probably fail it but that doesn't mean he's been drinking.

You could have auto-brewery syndrome.

I've never come across it myself but fermentation in the gut leads to ethanol production.

Say again.

You'd have to undergo tests in hospital, but if they confirm there's too much yeast inside you, and you haven't been drinking, your body may be brewing its own alcohol supply in your stomach.

So what you're saying is, basically my body is a brewery? Yes, that's exactly what I am saying.

Thanks, Doc.

Come and see me tomorrow.

Thank you.

Come on.

- Is that my car? - Oh, don't worry, Louisa.

I'll send one of the boys to fix it and I'll deliver it tomorrow.

Oh, she will.

She's just amazing.

Oh, God! You smell terrible but you do talk lovely.

(CHUCKLES) So you're saying he's not been drinking but he's drunk.

- Yes.

- I need more information.

It's the gastrointestinal organism saccharomyces cerevisiae.

It's been identified as a yeast pathogen.

- That's too much information.

- (CHEERING) Oh! The boats.

Ease off both sides! (ALL SHOUT INSTRUCTIONS) One two three four On two! Give me a big ten! One two three four Come on! Come on, Portwenn! Come on, we're doing well.

Come on.

Come on! nine ten (GRUNTS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Alice! Hang on! Stop rowing.

Stop rowing.

WOMAN: Man down! - Here, lift her up.

- Come on! Come on! Mor, I think something's happened.

- Ignore them! - What, seriously? Guys, I think that girl Alice has collapsed.

- Wha ? - Plenty of wellie.

- Maybe we should stop.

- We're winning! They wouldn't turn round for us.

Come on, Morwenna! Yeah, Mor.

And Portwenn are in the lead! (CHEERING) We are watching history in the making here.

Come on! No.

Turn around.

- We're helping.

- Yeah.

- Head to their boat! - Around! Starboard! Port! I mean Starboard! Port! Over there! Over there! But now they are going backwards.

Why are they going backwards? Oh.

There's a man down in the Port Carran team.

Or should I say, woman down? Yes, I should.

It's a woman.

Doc, it's an emergency.

Hold up.

No, bring her round.

Throw us a rope and we'll tow you in! Put her down here.

Is she breathing? I don't know.

Hello.

Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Hello.

Not you.

Don't you touch me! - What's wrong with her? - I think it's delayed concussion.

Concussion? Because of yesterday, what you did to me? No, because you ignored my instruction to go and rest.

I don't want to hear any more from you.

Linda, Michelle, help me up.

Look, you need to let me examine you properly.

No! All right.

Well, take her to hospital for a CT scan.

Go away! I can't talk to you.

(BLOWS WHISTLE) Listen up! Seeing as the Port Carran team have walked away without acknowledging me, I am disqualifying them for flagrant disregard of the umpire.

- That seems a bit harsh, Joe.

- Shush, Morwenna.

He's saying we've won.

But we don't want to just win by default.

Maybe Dad'll be so happy he'll let me off fish duty.

No, no, no.

You can't do this.

- I'm the umpire.

I can do that.

- Then I would like to make a formal protest.

You're only protesting cos you're gonna lose money.

I believe in proper rules and regulations.

- Otherwise it's just anarchy.

- (BLOWS WHISTLE) My official decision is victory to Portwenn.

Morwenna, as team captain, do you formally accept? - Yeah, I suppose so.

- (CHEERING) Portwenn it is.

I put 30 quid on Portwenn.

I'm gonna get my Ellie something nice.

Time to pay up.

I wish I had your luck, Eric.

- (CHUCKLES) I want my money too.

- Come on! No, no.

You need someone to look after you.

Shift! Out of the way! Shift! Then I told everyone I was leaving, so there's no going back now.

Well, that's good.

That's good, isn't it? You're sure you've made the right decision? It's a bit late to ask that now, isn't it? No, of course I'm not sure.

But that's what makes it exciting, I suppose.

You know, the risk.

I mean, yes, I'd be worried if you decided to stop being a doctor.

But things don't have to stay the same forever, do they? Do you think your fainting had anything to do with my circumstances changing? No, I don't think so.

Yes, cos you do like a controlled environment, don't you? You've only just started the course.

Don't use me as a test case.

I'm simply gathering a picture of your symptoms, that's all.

- Hello.

- Hi, Chris.

Did you come for the race? What? Oh, no, no, I missed all that.

Actually, I'm I'm here on business.

Look, perhaps we could have a talk in private somewhere.

Sure, you carry on.

I've got to get this little one some food.

Come in for a cup of tea before you go.

- Please.

- Oh, right - What is it? - Erm Yes.

Erm Right, well, to the point.

Erm I'm afraid you're in trouble, Martin.

There's a patient.

I tried to talk to her, tried to persuade her not to make a complaint, but she'd already got the powers that be involved.

- Martin, she wants you struck off.

- "She" being? Alice Taylor.

I believe you drained her cyst? Yes.

I treated her successfully.

But the patient passed out and she's claiming you did as well.

Is that true? Normally, I could make this disappear.

But it seems Alice Taylor is a solicitor.

She made an almighty fuss, which is how she's got this moving so quickly.

What exactly is she saying? You're accused of being too ill to work safely.

It could be serious.

If your phobia is out of control and you can't cope Nothing is out of control.

The woman had concussion.

She didn't know what she was saying.

She wouldn't let me help her when she collapsed on her boat.

- Collapsed again and you tried to help? - Yes, of course.

I'm a doctor.

You need to stay away from her till this is sorted out.

In fact, stay away from all patients.

What do you mean? Martin.

I hate to do this, but until this is dealt with, you need to stop practising.

Are you suspending me? No, I'm advising you.

Close the surgery until further notice.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Sorry.

Dr Ellingham? - Beth Traywick.

- Yes, the American.

The surgery is closed.

Chris was just telling us how screwed he thinks the doc is.

How did the lunch with Chris go? Did he say you could lose your job? He thinks there's a possibility, yes.

It's never as bad as you think.