03x01 - Dude, Where's My Horse?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "All Grown Up!". Aired: April 12, 2003 – August 17, 2008.*
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Tommy, Dil, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, Kimi, Angelica and Susie are now in middle school and have to deal with adolescent issues.
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03x01 - Dude, Where's My Horse?

Post by bunniefuu »

GIRL:
Four, three, two, one!

[ rock music playing]

♪ Every birthday,
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ "You're another year older,
another year wiser" ♪

♪ But I still go to school

♪ To get an education

♪ I treat each and every day

♪ Like a mini vacation

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up!

♪ I want the world to know

♪ All grown up!

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up

♪ With you

♪ All grown up with...

♪ you.

TOMMY:
"Summer"-- the single greatest
word in the English language.

No school, no homework,

and no butt cramps from man's
most uncomfortable invention,

the chair-desk.

Nine long months of anticipation

all building up to three
precious months of sun, fun

and nonstop adventure.

MAN [ on TV]:
And I wouldn't try this

at home, mates!

[ electronic alarm beeps]

Pass the remote-- we're missing
i¡Hospital de Tentación!

What's i¡Hospital
de Tentación!?

A Spanish soap opera
he's obsessed with.

¿Está todo bien?

No, estás enfermo.

Estás muy enfermo.

Sí...

Sí.

Poor Enrique.

He can't find a brain donor.

And all I can do is stand
helplessly by and... watch.

But, Dil,
you don't speak
Spanish.

I don't need to.

Human suffering is the same
in any language.

Oh, would you look
at this place!

Looks like a goat exploded
in here.

Why aren't you kids
outside playing?

It's supposed
to rain.

[ kids all scream]

Someday, I mean.

Kids, meet
my old buddy,
Red.

Look at these critters--

citified, just like
their grandpa.

Wouldn't last till lunch
working my ranch,

which is at : in the morning,
because we get up at :.

Ah, ranch life's
clouded your brain,
old man.

Remember when
we were kids?

You bet I wouldn't last
a week at the ranch.

Made it all the way
to September.

You were on bed rest.

I broke my leg.

Getting off the bus.

Bet I could last
the summer.

Wouldn't last a week.

Let me see your hands.

Yep, soft as a seamstress.

Actually, that's not a bad idea.

A week on a ranch, some
sunshine, fresh air...

Is there a spa?

But we don't know anything
about ranch work.

A place like that is a hotbed
of allergic activity.

I'd be one big hive.

It's really bad timing--

Enrique's having
his lobotomy reversed,

and I can't be incommunicado.

A week on the ranch it is.

Ho-ho, yeah--
they're out of here.

Angelica, do you have
to keep kicking my seat?

No, I don't haveto,

but seeing as how you got us
into this mess,

it's my pleasure.

Guys, when we were kids,

we must have banked a gazillion
hours playing cowboys.

Now we have a sh*t
at the real deal.

Think about it: grub cooked
over an open fire, horses,

wide-open spaces, horses...

I still don't know,
Tommy.

I mean, real horses are
big and unpredictable.

They're not like running around
on a broom handle

slapping your own butt.

Uh...

Chill, Finster, it'll be great.

Well, I just remembered
how swank I'll look

in all my Western wear.

[ theme music
fromBonanza plays]

Well...

this doesn't look familiar.

[ man whistles eerie tune
in distance]

[ screaming]

Chuckie, what'd you
do that for?

Whenever you hear that song
in Westerns,

it means the bad guys are
about to start a sh**t-out.

[ man continues
whistling eerily]

[ all laughing]

COWBOY:
Aw, nothing personal, folks.

We do that to all
the city slickers, right, Lou?

Yep, and it wasn't funny then,
and it ain't funny now.

[ splashing]

I'm Big Red, and this here is
Medium Red and Little Red.

And that guy
by the truck's Tiny.

SUSIE:
What truck?

[ snoring]

What are youlooking at?

Uh... I-I never met
a city girl before.

How did you get your hair
so shiny?

We bathe.

[ all gasp]

Look quick
or you'll miss it!

[ mooing]

You pulled us away
from wild mustangs

to check out a cow?

It is not about the cow.

It's about the cow tipping.

Yeah, right.

You'd never do that.

It almost sounds... bad.

SUSIE:
What are you saying?
I can't be bad?

I can be as bad
as the rest of you.

Badder even.

That's right, sister,
you are going down.

[ clucking]

Sweet.

Ah, living like real cowboys.

This arrangement's fine
for the preteens,

but I'm going to need
a bathroom,

Internet access,
and free movies.

If you adjust her dial,
does the static go away?

It's : p.m.--
y'all better catch
some shuteye.

Around here, we get up
before the roosters.

Good night, buckaroo.

Ah, night, Grandpa.

Which one of you do I talk to
about room service?

Ah, think about it, Chuckie:
Tonight we go to sleep kids;

tomorrow we wake up
cowboys.

[ inhales deeply]

[ gagging]

[ flies buzzing]

[ sneezes]

Well, you didn't think horses
cleaned up after themselves,

did you?

I was born for this job.

You might want
to keep that
to yourself.

Well, I for one
refuse to get

up close and personal
with horse dung.

It'll ruin the faux fade
of my jeans.

The life of a cowboy isn't
all fast horses and fancy hats.

We have to work up to it,
earn it.

Seems like
you would need sh*ts

for this kind
of work.

Lots of them.

Chuckie, you want the Reds
to think you're soft?

But... I am soft.

Grunt work will
make the fun stuff

seem that much better.

Leave it up to Tommy to give
shoveling manure a good rap.

Why did I wear
these ridiculous shoes?

Without traction, it'll take me
forever to fill one shovel.

Why don't you change them?

That's okay, I'll manage.

I mean, there's
all this work to do,

and who could possibly
cover for me while I'm gone?

You're looking at him.

Really?

You don't have
to ask me twice.

Trust me, I won't.

[ grunts]

[ sighs]

[ yawns]

This is definitely one-star,
but it'll do.

Well, take a look
at what the kids can do.

Well, you city folks were always
good at shoveling this stuff,

but I got to say, this is
a mighty excellent job.

Ah... so, Red,
where's the chuck wagon?

Because me and my posse are
ready to celebrate.

Are you kidding?

This is just the warm-up.

Warm-up?
Warm-up?
Warm-up?Warm-up?
[ pig squealing]

[ mooing]

[ wood creaking]

[ cheering]

[ wood creaking]

[ bang]

[ wood creaking]

[ bang]

PHIL:
What a week.

Phil, it's been a day,
and you stink.

In honor of the great cowboy
tradition, I refuse to shower.

[ sniffing]

There is an upside
to not being able to breathe.

Howdy-ho, partners.

Put in a long day?

I've never worked
so hard in my life.

I need a volunteer for KP.

You won't be doing
the outdoorsy stuff
you did today,

but...Me! Me-me-me-me-me!

Pick me!

Oh, we got a taker.

Good-bye, horse poop.

Oh, and you get up two hours
earlier than your buddies

so we can get
breakfast on.

[ muffled scream]

Listen up, amigos.

Since ranch people
don't believe in TVs,

I filled the void
by writing up a mock episode

of i¡Hospital
de Tentación!

T., you're playing
Enrique.

You're in a coma

and debating whether
to move toward the light.

Suze, you're Estella.

You want Enrique to bite it
because he loves Elena.

She's bad to the bone.

[ screaming]

There's this thing chasing me!

It's hideous!

[ squawks]

Get it off me!

What is it?

An ugly duck?!
How should I know?
I accidentally hatched it

and now it won't stop
following me!

Stay away from me.

I have orange sauce
and I am not afraid to use it.

Oh, look...

the little thing thinks
you're his mama.

[ squawking]

Well, I'm not.

It's ugly and dirty
and smells like Phil!

Someone get it out of here!

I can't, I've lost all feeling
in my arms.

You're lucky-- I'd love to lose
the feeling in my arms.

Are we going
to have to do this
every day?

I don't think
I can handle it--

sanitation-wise.

All you guys ever think about
is yourselves.

What about poor Enrique?

Who cares?

I'm sick of Enrique.

He's probably kicked it
by now anyway.

How can you say
something like that?

ANGELICA:
News flash, Dil!

People don't usually survive
lobotomy reversals!

Stop it, stop it!

Why are we yelling at everybody?

This is no time
to be dissing on each other...

when we should be dissing
on Tommy!

Huh?

It's his fault we're here
in the first place.

Guys, it'll be fun.

I promise.

Chuckie?

I'm torn on this one,
my friend,

really torn.

[ group yelling angrily]

BIG RED:
Hey, hey,
hey, hey!

What's all the ruckus in here?

It's not really
a ruckus.

It's more of a hubbub.

Well, you'd better turn in.

You've got a big day ahead.

For proving yourselves
so hasty like,

at week's end
I'm inviting you all

to come with me on a big drive.

Uh, just for the record,

you don't mean like a car trip
to Grandma's house.

You're talking about
the real deal, right?

Yeah, and you'd better
get some sleep,

because y'all are
going to have to learn

to rope and ride.

We're going on
a cattle drive.

We're going to be
cowboys, real cowboys!

Sí...

Sí.

[ all cheering]

MEDIUM RED:
Now you're going to see

the Pickles' family knack
with horses

kick in.

[ horse neighs]

Dude, where's my horse?

Oh, this has to be the
single coolest moment

of my life.

Funny, I was thinking
it may be my last.

[ neighing]
[ laughing]

You'll be fine.

I'm sure Nelly
will go easy on you.

Your turn.

Saddles up.

[ horse neighs]

What can I say?

It's just like accessorizing.

Now, to mount your horse
in three easy steps,

grab the horn,
left foot in stirrup,

swing right leg over.

[ horse neighs]

Yo, check me out.

Nothing is broken...

[ chuckles]

yet.

[ groaning]

[ group chuckling]

[ rooster cawing]

Get lost, will you?

I told you
I'm not the mothering type.

[ squawking]

Whoa!

Okay, this is good.

I'm still upright.

[ yelling]

[ owl hooting]

KIMI:
Another Kimi Finster original--

pork-and-bean tempura.

In all my years on the ranch

I ain't never tasted
nothing like it.

Ugh!

Whew.

Hey, Kimi, this is better
than your beef-jerky teriyaki.

No, don't get me wrong,
it's still nasty.

[ chick squawking]

How many times
do I have to tell you

before it gets through
your soft skull?!

I don't like you, Reject!

Angelica, you can't
name him Reject.

That is so mean.

It was my second choice.

My first was Dinner.

[ whimpers]

[ warbles contentedly]

I can't believe
how much fun I had today.

It's like I can think
like a horse.

And that's
a good thing?

I have to admit it's blazing
great when you get in the zone.

Yeah, the zone.

Like you and the horse
are one.

Oh, yeah, the zone.

Hey, great.

[ player piano starts playing]

Got any aces?

[ piano continues playing]

Go fish.

Now, you wouldn't
be lying to me,

because I gave you one
two minutes ago.

Are you calling me a liar?

Them there are fighting words.

[ piano stops abruptly]

[ spits]

Then I amcalling you a liar.

[ knuckles cr*ck]

Draw.

KIMI:
Break it up,
you two!

Kimi's egg rolls are liable
to explode upon impact,

and I'd never get that stank
out of my clothes.

[ groans]

Got any eights?

[ piano resumes playing]

Thanks for the jacket, Angelica.

And now I'm off
to tip me some cow!

Yeah!

[ piano playing]

No doubt about it,
she's gone bad.

[ cow moos]

That's it.

I am not kidding around anymore.

Before I leave,
you are getting tipped.

Game on!

[ chewing]

[ sighs]

Yo, Susie!

Can you help me
out here?

Doing what?

As a poster child
for good girls gone bad,

could you be my lookout

while I do some
investigating?

Ooh, I'm
all over it.

Aha! A satellite dish.

And where there's
a satellite dish, there's a TV.

Hang in there, Enrique, I'm
coming to find you, mi amigo!

Okay, you haven't
said one word

for the past minutes.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

You want help
with the horse stuff?

I know what I'm doing...
just not yet.

I'm surprised I'm so good
at this stuff.

I didn't think
I would be good at all,

so being bad
wasn't so scary

and being good
got easier.

You know what I mean?

Was I supposed to?

Just don't try so hard.

Let it go, Chuckie.

I admit it wasn't
as easy for me

as it was for
everybody else,

but it doesn't
bother me.

Not everyone
can expect

to be a cowboy
overnight.

[ playing softly]

When did you learn
how to play the harmonica?

I play
the harmonica?

[ snoring]

[ sighs]

Remember, lassoing
is all in the wrist.

Keep it smooth and steady.

[ lassos whirring]

Nobody move!

How many times have I told you
to stay away from the ring?!

Don't give me that attitude,
young man.

Shoo!

She's dressing him
like her now?

She should be reported
for cruelty to animals.

[ wind blowing]

I got off to a slow start,
but I'm going to nail it.

Do I look like
a wooden cow to you?

Lil...

Yeah, yeah, getting out
of the line of fire.

You'll do fine now.

No obstacles,
no distractions.

LIL [ echoing]:
Getting rope burns here.

[ mooing]

[ wind blowing]

[ creaking]

[ piano playing]

Maybe the sun b*rned out
my taste buds,

but, Kimi,
this grub tastes awesome.

It took me all week,
but I finally learned

how to do it up right.

Chuckie, I'm sorry
I was kind of a jerk
the other night.

Nah, you weren't
a jerk, just testy.

You're in a good mood now.

Did you finally lasso
the wooden cow?

Nope.

I accepted I'm the lamest cowboy

on the planet,

and I'm completely
comfortable with it.

I've always said
the key to happiness

is... lowered
expectations.

[ door creaks open][ piano stops abruptly]

[ piano resumes playing]

Any luck
with cow tipping?

[ groans]

Listen, Susie,

I don't want
to spoil your fun,

but there ain't no such thing
as cow tipping.

It's an urban legend.

So it's a hoax?

Oh, like us city kids don't
have alligators in our sewers.

[ spits]

[ sadly]:
You don't have alligators
in your sewers?

[ both sigh]

[ creaking]

I can't believe
we're going

on a real cattle
drive tomorrow.

I'm stoked.

I sure hope we're ready for it.

I'd hate to mess this up.

Me, too.

I'm down to my last
clean pair of jeans.

Yeah, you guys
are going to be great.

What do you mean "you guys"?

I've decided to bail
on the cattle drive,

but good luck
and have a great time.

[ creaking]

[ bang]

I'm not really in the mood
for horseshoes, Grandpa.

Well, fake it.

So, what's this
I hear

about you sitting
on the sidelines

instead of going
on the drive?

I'm confused.

Weren't you the one

who talked us into
going on this trip?

[ cow moos]

Yeah, but
that was before.

Before what?

Before I found out
I couldn't wrangle a poodle.

So what's the point?

BIG RED:
Ow!

Watch where you're throwing!

Tommy, if you go
through life

only doing things
you're good at,

you're going to miss out
on half of it.

Oh, really?

You play
some lousy horseshoes.

What do you get
out of that?

First of all, it's fun.

Secondly, if I didn't
take up horseshoes,

I never would have met
your grandmother.

She played, too?

No, she was walking by.

I broke her nose.

And third of all...

[ horseshoe clanks onto stake]

I believe
in you.

[ crickets chirping]

GRANDPA:
I believe in you.

[ squawks]

This could be the
textbook-perfect day, except...

Tommy's not here.

Ha-ha, it's about time
you guys showed up.

Hey, Tom.

Now it's perfect.

PHIL:
Aah, I wonder what kind

of big old powerful beast
we'll be wrangling.

Hmm... longhorns?

Holsteins?

Heifers?

Come on, little dogies,
come on!

[ squawking]

Ostriches?

We're driving ostriches?

What a rip-off!

I thought this was
a cattle drive!

Well, I said "drive";
you filled in the blanks.

[ squawking]

[ squawking]

You're an ostrich?

I've had an ostrich
sleeping on my bed?

Hey, is he supposed to do that?

Man, they smell worse
than you, Phil.

Aah!

Hey, she's insulting me,
not you.

So, where are we taking these...
little dogies?

To my sister's house.

She has a petting zoo.

Your buddy,
Ella the cow,
is going, too.

Well, I wouldn't exactly
call us buddies.

It's strictly
a tipper-tippee relationship.

Okay, let's move them out!

Whoo!

[ cowboys whooping]

[ grunting]

[ chuckling nervously]

Yeah, just testing the ground.

I'm happy to report
it's hard, firm

and perfect for
an ostrich drive.

You're like a regular
trip rider, Angelica.

Maybe you should stay
another week.

I could teach you
to shoe a horse.

Wow, that's quite an offer,

but I get nervous
if I'm away from a mall

with a good multiplex
and a cappuccino bar

for more than seven days,
so I think I'll say... no.

Oh.

Look, Little Red,

it's just that I'm a...
city gal-- always will be.

We're just from
two different worlds--

mine and, well...
everyone else's.

[ squawking]

Oh, I know, I know.

♪ Home, home on the range [ squeaking with pressed palms]

♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word ♪[ voice breaking]

♪ And the skies are not cloudy
all day. ♪

[ giggling]

Not bad, huh?

I don't know you.

Aren't you glad

you decided to come?

Oh, yeah, wouldn't
want to miss this.

Oh! Control your horse
much, Pickles?

Reject!

Angelica!

Watch out!

[ shrieking]

[ screaming]

[ squawking]

[ horse whinnying]

[ grunts]

[ squawking]

Please, not the face!

[ gasps]

[ squawking]

I think Big Red's hurt!

[ groggily]:
Did somebody see a bird
go by here?

Okay, listen, guys.

I hate to leave you,

but I got to get Daddy
to the ranch.

You'll have to go it alone.

You can do it!

Just keep headed towards
the big old mountain!

CHUCKIE:
Who says
we're panicking?

Do you see anyone panicking?

You're panicking.

Well, I'm supposed to panic!

What are we going to do?

Without a trail boss
there'll be anarchy.

Chill-lax, Lil.

We're not going to start
an uprising.

Not us-- them!

[ squawking]

Somebody has to take charge.

I'll do it!

DIL:
Is this one of those times

where I say something
and you guys ignore me?

Yeah.

Thank you.
You're kidding, right?

I know
I hit the scene

a little later
than everybody else,

but as long as
I can remember, T.,

you've always been
the leader.

Well, this time I'm
the least-qualified
person for the job.

I'm the one
who got you guys
into this mess.

I'm the one
who wanted to be
a big-time cowboy,

and look where I got you.

I'm the worst wrangler,
the worst horseman.

Even my chaps are on backwards,
and boy, do they pinch.

Ow.

CHUCKIE:
You stink; so what?

Big deal--
I stink at a lot of things,

like dodgeball
and long division.

And you can never open your
locker on the first try.

There. See?

And you're lousy
at crazy eights.

I always b*at you.

Right!

And your
fashion sense is

pretty pathetic, Finster.

Thanks, I think I can
handle this from here.

Look, Tommy, there's a lot
of things I stink at,

but what I'm really bad at is
following you into adventures.

But that never stopped me,

because we're friends,

and I knew you'd always be
there for me.

Now we need you
to be here for us.

Chuckie, Phil, Susie,

gather up the strays.

Lil, Dil and Kimi,
keep an eye on the rest.

Angelica,
head up the back.

[ squawking]

[ sighing]

Let's take a break here.

Good.

I'm parched.

TOMMY:
The way things are going,

we should have
these critters

at Red's sister's
in a couple of hours.

Which means we'll be
there in time to watch

i¡Hospital de Tentación!

What makes you think

she's going to have a TV?

It's a lock.

The ladies love Enrique's
piercing black eyes.

Sí...

Sí.

[ squawking]

[ gasps]

What's going on?

"Boots... Belts..."

And "Burgers"?

They're ostrich rustlers!

[ squawks]

And they've got Reject!

You've got
to do something.

If anything happens
to that little guy,

I don't know
if I can go on.

You named him Reject.

That was before
his innocence reached in

and touched a warm,
vulnerable part inside me.

And if you tell anyone,
you're all dead meat!

[ rustlers shouting]

Get a move on, now.

There you go.

[ all shouting]

TOMMY:
Dil, I want you to go down there

and create
a diversion.

Phil and Lil,
flatten the truck tires.

With what?
Figure it out.

Susie, Kimi,
hide in the bushes

and when you get
the opportunity,
lasso the ATVs.

We're on it.Got it!

Angelica, you think you
could tie the ropes together

long enough to hold them
for a while?

Please! Have you seen what I can
do with a simple silk scarf?

Okay, so after I get
the tailgate down,

Angelica,
you call Reject,

and the others
will follow him out.

Chuckie, round 'em up!

Done.

[ tailgate slams]

[ shouting wildly in Spanish]

Mi nombre es Enrique.

i¡Mi cerebro es muy malo!

i¡Enfermo!

Oy... mi pobre esposa,

lo siento.

Oy, mi amore...

i¡el doctor stúpido!

i¡Los hospitales
me causan ahogar!

[ air hissing]

What the...?!

Reject! Mama's here!

[ squawking]

Yee-haw!

Get along, little dogies!

I always wanted to say that.

[ rustlers shouting angrily]

[ all shouting]

[ engine revving]

[ blows]

[ Ella mooing]

[ bellows abruptly]

[ rustler grunts]

And calling you
that "old milk bag"
earlier--

I take it back.

[ Ella moos]

Whoo-hoo!

We just survived
our first ambush!

And they're not even dusty.

For the first time,
my teacher won't fall asleep

reading my "What I Did on
My Summer Vacation" essay.

You know, I didn't just play
Enrique; I wasEnrique.

And it's all because
of you, Tommy.

Well, I had some friends
to help me out.

Now, let's get
these birds home.

I think we've had enough
adventure for one day.

[ thunder rolling]

[ wind whistling]

[ ostriches squawking]

[ thunder crashing]

[ rumbling]

What are we going to do?

The ostriches won't
cross the river.

Well, we can't go back
the other way;

the rustlers will get us.

There's a way out of this,
I just know it.

Just... just give me
a minute to think.

No pressure, Tommy,
but it'd be better

if you could figure it out
in, oh, five, six seconds.

TOMMY:
All we need is for one of them,
just one to cross

and the rest will follow.

How are you going
to do that, bro?

ANGELICA:
What are you doing?

You can barely control a horse!

You're going
to ride him?

Are you whacked?

No, I saw it on TV.

Oh...!

I can't watch.

[ Tommy grunting]

[ ostriches squawking]

[ others cheering]

And our moms say
we're wasting our time

watching television.

ANGELICA:
Reject?

Reject!

[ squawking]

[ gasps]

Oh, you poor baby!

Mommy's here.

[ smacking kisses]

Don't you ever scare me
like again

or I'm putting you
in time-out chair.

ANGELICA:
Is my sweet

little Reject okay?

Yes, him is.

Him's dirty, but him's okay.

I think I liked it better
when she wanted to eat him.

DIL:
Okay, Lil,

let's go.

You guys go on ahead.

I'll catch up in a few.

[ giggling]

Yeah, I knew she'd cr*ck
sooner or later.

Mud is in our blood.

That's enough, Lil.

Get out of the mud.

[ whining]:
Oh... five more minutes.

[ laughing crazily]

Let go!

I want to play in the mud!

Dil gets to play in the mud!

Why can't I play in the mud?

You guys are so mean!

KIMI:
That's Tiny's truck!

We made it!

Yee-hoo!

Yee-haw!

ALL:
Yee-haw!

You did it, Tommy.

Congratulations.

You guys did it.

I just told you what to do.

I'm still a pretty lousy cowboy.

Yeah, but you're a great leader.

And I knew you'd pull it off.

No, you didn't.

No, I didn't.

[ both laughing]

[ whinnying]

How about we show
them a big finish
now, partner?

[ grunting]

[ Tommy shouting]

Well, I'll be
a horse's behind.

I don't know how
you kids done it,

but you done it
all right.

When you're in a pickle,
you can always count
on a Pickle.

Gee, Lou, even though
you've said that
about , times,

I never get tired
of hearing it.

Here you go, old man.

Thanks, squirt.

That was the easiest money
I ever made.

You bet on us making it?

Never had a doubt.

[ fire crackling]

CHUCKIE:
And then we used
our spurs

to blow out their tires,

so when they tried
to drive off...

They couldn't.

It was a textbook plan.

And it was all
Tommy's idea.

Oh, yeah--
we never would have

made it back without Tommy.

Kimi, I am
totally serious.

This is the best meal
I have ever had in my life.

What's the secret ingredient?

Come on, you can tell Tiny!

I learned you
everything you know.

Sorry, serious chefs like myself
take our secrets to the grave.

Oh, all right.

[ whispering]:
I used tofu in
the barbecue sauce.

Tofu?

Genius.

You're a genius.

[ Ella moos]

[ mooing angrily]

Chill-lax, Ella.

It's a veggie burger.

After all we've been through,
you think I'd do that to you?

[ Emma mooing]

Just so you know,
I don't do this very often,

but I want to... uh...

[ sighs]

apologize.

[ sighs]

I was a little harsh.

I don't want you to think
I don't like you.

You're a very
cool dude.

And I'd like you to have
something to remember me by,

since this was one of
the best summers of my life.

You sure, Angelica?

I can't bring him home--
my mother would freak.

You know how prissy
them city gals can be.

[ squawks softly]

[ sniffling]

[ crickets chirping]

[ muffled soap opera music
playing]

[ Dil clears throat]

You are sobusted!

I'm begging you, son,
please don't tell anybody.

I got a reputation
around these parts.

Here's how it's going
to go down.

I won't go public if
you tell me every little detail

of what happened
to Enrique.

I can do you one better.

I taped every show.

So, what happened?

Did Enrique survive
the surgery?

Good news:
Enrique's brain works.

Bad news: He thinks
he's his sister, Rosita.

[ theme music playing]

Mi nombre es Rosita.

[ gasps]

¿Es la verdad?

Sí...

Sí.

TOMMY:
I never thought
I'd be saying this,

but I wish we didn't have
to leave tomorrow.

You were right.

This is the summer
we'll always remember.

TOMMY:
For you it was,
definitely.

You know, Chuckie,
you could be a real cowboy.

I know-- isn't that crazy?

Mr. Allergy finds out
he can rope, ride
and wrangle.

And they're all useless
back home.

[ sighs]

[ sighs]

[ playing sad tune]

TOMMY:
Be straight with me.

You've played the harmonica
before, right?

TOMMY:
Okay, don't tell me.

What do I care?

[ continues playing]

Just say "yes" or "no."

Before last week,
have you ever put

a harmonica
to your mouth?

[ continues playing]

TOMMY:
Chuckie!

ANGELICA:
You're an ostrich?

I've had an ostrich
sleeping on my bed?
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