05x05 - Super Hero Worship

[bunniefuu]

[ rock music plays]
Four, three, two, one!

♪ Every birthday
my mom and dad would say ♪

♪ You're another year older ♪

♪ Another year wiser ♪

♪ But I still go to school
to get an education ♪

♪ I treat each
and every day ♪

♪ Like a mini vacation ♪

♪ All grown up♪

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up♪

♪ I want the world to know ♪

♪ All grown up♪

♪ I really want
to shout it out ♪

♪ All grown up♪

♪ With you ♪

♪ All grown up with... you! ♪

No!

I won't get into
the Disappearing box.

I won't.

Poor, desperate Dara Dark.

[ diabolical laughter]

Armadillo Dave
can't save you now.

He will, too,
Mantooth the Magician.

You'll see.

[ laughs][ screams]

[ laughs]

Hey, put the hat down.

That's property of
the United States government.

[ Dara screams]Dara?!

[ screaming]

[ screaming]

Let her go, Mantooth!

I'm over here,
Armadillo Dave.

I'm sorry.
Nearsighted.

Get him!

[ banging and grunting]

[ thugs grunting weakly]

Had enough, boys?

Thanks,

Armadillo Dave.

All in an armadillo's day,
Dara Dark.

Look out for your...

[ screams]

...mailbag.

I'm never gonna get this
science project done on time.

First, I have to come up with
a theme and build a maze,

then I have to train a mouse
to race through it...

"using the behavioral theories
learned in science class."

How long do you have
to do it?

A month.

Gee, that's not so bad.

It was assigned three weeks ago.

I got caught up
on my new project,

a time-lapse film
of my wart growing.

I did that maze project
last year.

Let's see it.

It's supposed to look
something like this.

But whoever did this
must have been

some kind of genius.

Oh.

That's my maze.

You did this?

Yeah.

I kind of got inspired after
I got lost in a Giganta-Mart.

Hey, Chuckie, you
think you could

help me with my maze?

I'm there, good buddy.

[ groans]

I just touched
your wart, didn't I?

CHUCKIE:
Whatever you do,

make sure you don't
skimp on the mouse.

If you want a good grade,
you need a good mouse.

Don't worry.

I'm gonna buy
the fastest mouse they have.

I'll catch up with you.

I'm gonna pick up a new
Armadillo Davecomic.

Any idea what the theme for
your maze is gonna be, Tommy?

How about a t*rture chamber?

'Cause that's what you're
doing to the poor mouse.

Kimi, it's just
a simple maze.

To you.

To the mouse it's neighborhoods
of endless cul-de-sacs.

He'll be lost and confused.

Don't worry.

Every time he takes
a wrong turn,

I'll hit him with
an electric shock.

Kidding.

[ mouse squeaking]

[ screams and giggles]

Not one mouse
in the whole store?

Wait! There's
a fast-looking one.

Where?

[ squeaking]

In there.
It's climbing across

that boa
constrictor's face...

Oops.

I guess it wasn't
that fast, after all.

I don't know.

He went down pretty fast.

[ hisses]

This place is a horror show.

Can we go?

Excuse me, I need a...

Uh, let me guess, a mouse.

So does every other
kid in this city.

You don't have any?

Only one.

No one wanted him.

KIMI:
Oh, poor thing.

[ snarls][ gasps]

[ snarls]

[ kids scream]

We'll take it.

Save me, Armadillo Dave!

I'm coming, Dara!

MAN:
Hold it.

Who are you?

Mr. Plank of Plank Comics.

I came to inform you

I'm officially terminating
Armadillo Davecomic books.

Uh, uh, terminating?

Ceasing publication.

Canceling the series.

k*lling off your character.

Ha!
Just try.

Look, I don't want this to get
ugly, but if the two of you

aren't off
these pages pronto,

I'm going to call security.

The twoof us?

We're discontinuing
the girl, too.

[ sobs]

Oh, boys?

[ screams]

You're a monster, Mr. Plank.

No!

Chuckie, what is it?!

They're k*lling off
Armadillo Dave.

This is his last comic book...
ever!

Gee, tough break.

Sorry, Chuckie.

Feel for you, pal.

Hey, did anybody
ever try one of those

deep-fried pickles on a stick?

Chuckie has.

Haven't you, Chuckie?

Chuckie?

Kimi, I'm gonna
flunk science

with this maze.

Well, would you rather graduate

or know you were kind
to a defenseless little animal?

[ snarls]

Hey, give it here, before I make

a very small coat out of you!

LIL:
I'm coming in.

That rat's in its cage, right?

[ snarls]

[ screams]

[ laughs]

You should've seen your face.

Girls.

[ screams]

[ laughter]

Hey, missed you guys
at the mall.

Whoa!

Don't mean to trash
the Chuckster,

but this is
the worst-looking maze ever.

Chuckie didn't do this.

He was a no-show.

I did.

Oh.

Primo job, bro!

That mouse sure has
its work cut out for it.

Yeah, like we'll ever survive

getting him out
of his cage.

I can't believe you're
scared of a little mousey.

Don't!Dude!

Mice are the new dogs.

You just have to know
how to talk to them.

[ snarls ][ screams]

Hold me.

Come on.

Let's go find Chuckie.

He promised he'd help.

[ snarls]

[ faint wheezing]

I know he's in there.

I can hear his inhaler.

I wonder if he's still upset
about Armadillo Daveending?

No way.

I mean, he's Chuckie.

But he's not thatChuckie.

[ knock on door]

Chuckie?

[ sobbing]

Hi, guys.

[ recording]:
Had enough, boys?

Had enough?[ gasps]

Had enou...
[ recording stops][ sobs]

This is issue number ,
when Armadillo Dave

battled Mr. /,

the crazed laser eye surgeon.

He won.

I don't get it, Chuckie.

I didn't even think you were
that into this comic book.

I guess I didn't either...
until the cruel hand of fate

yanked him from my life.

An Armadillo Dave
nose hair clipper?

Ew.

[ buzzes]

Ow!

At least you had
good years with him.

Seven.

I didn't start reading
till I was five.

Seven short years.

[ sobs]

You know, sometimes
they say it helps

getting your mind
off your sorrows.

But how?

How?

I know!

Helping me build my maze!

Who can think clearly

at a time like this.

[ techno-pop plays
over headphones]

Wow.

He's really in bad shape.

We have to snap him
out of this funk.

Any ideas?

We hold a seance and have
Chuckie talk to Armadillo Dave

from the other side.

Armadillo Dave isn't
a real person, Dil.

Yet talking to people
from the other side

you have no problem with.

Um, I have an idea.

Let's say Phil's
pet turtle,

Shelley, accidentallygot
flushed down the toilet.

What would you do?

I'd feel bad, but I'd
just get another one.

Exactly!

We take Chuckie
to the mall[ sighs]

and help him pick
out another superhero.

It's worth a sh*t.

Come on, let's go.

And maybe after, we can
go back to the pet store.

Why?[ whispers]

PHIL:
Shelley!

Look at all these
superheroes, Chuckie.

Sir Scallop.

The Arid Avenger.

Señor Suede.

Got to be onehere you like.

How about this hottie?

Liquid Lucy.

She can turn herself
into anything,

from a Sherman t*nk to a pizza.

I get indigestion
just thinking about her.

Okay.

How about Methane Mike
and Sulfur Boy?

Better known as Grandpa
after a meat and cabbage dinner.

Guys, look, I appreciate
it, but none of those can

take the place
of Armadillo Dave.

Maybe nobody has to.

There's a comic book convention
at Shuster Center.

[ gasps]:
Maybe we can convince

the guy who does Armadillo Dave

to keep drawing him.

Talk-talk-talk,

talk to the real Max Leopold?

Sure.

I bet you're not the only kid
who feels this way.

[ indistinct voices]

TOMMY:
What'd I tell you!

No way Mr. Leopold can
stop drawing him now.

Let's go meet him.

If the line's not a mile long.

LIL:
It's not.

Good, we're in luck.

Let's go.

Hi, do you know when
Mr. Leopold will be here?

Couldn't tell you.
They just told me

to put on the suit
and sit here.

Try a week from never.

The old guy's living in
some retirement home somewhere.

He never comes out anymore.

KID:
There's Nutomic Man!

Oh, my gosh, pinch me.

That was Nutomic Man:

half nuclear power,
half atomic power!

Sounds dangerous...

if he wasn't
a fictitious character.

[ electrical zapping]

You were saying?

Sorry, Chuckie.

We gave it a try.

And my maze
is due tomorrow,

let's go home.

No.

I mean,
would Armadillo Dave

just throw up his hands
and quit?

Armadillo Dave
can't lift his arms.

They're too short.

Well, he wouldn't--

and neither am I.

We're going to go home,

and we're going to find
that Max Leopold

and beg him not to stop drawing
Armadillo Dave.

Now let's go!

[ sighs]

[ buzzing]

Hi, Harold.
Hi, Harold.Hey, Harold.

sh**t...

My identity is revealed.

Oh, just as well.

I was getting nauseous
smelling my own breath.

Who are you?

"k*ller Bee Boy,"

protector of
all things pollinated.

k*ller Bee Boy,

who strikes fear
in the hearts

of picnickers
everywhere.

That's a superhero?

Yeah.

Well, he beats the hicky

out of that
Armadillo Dave guy.

What's he--

half man, half cashew?

Care to step
outside?

[ mockingly]:
Ooh... I'm a-scared.

[ karate yell]

Buzz off!
Buzz off!

Buzz off!
[ buzzing]

This is embarrassing,
guys,

more for me than you...

obviously.

Fine.

But consider yourself served!

[ buzzing]

It's a little big.

It's my dad's old costume.

CHUCKIE:
Okay.

These push pins represent
all the old-age homes

Mr. Leopold might live in.

We're not going
to call all those
pins, are we?

There has to be
a hundred of 'em.

Thank you.

He's not in
"Leisure Suit Village".

Ninety-nine.

We're going to be living
in one of those places

by the time you're done.

Ah, Tommy's right.

Why can't there just be
a place called

"Home For Retired
Cartoon Artists"?

"Home For Retired
Cartoon Artists
and Voices."

Ooh, so close.

Lil, call it.

Uh, it's a long sh*t,
but suit yourself.

Hello, I am looking for
a Max Leopold.

He isn't?

That's okay...

I'll call him
later,

when he's
back in his room!

We found him!

[ cheering]All right!

[ door buzzing]

[ like Porky Pig]:
Eh, knocky, knock-knock.

Eh, can I...
can I help you?

We're here to see Max Leopold.

I'm his biggest fan!

[ stern voice]:
Medical personnel only
at this hour.

Who is also
a world-renowned surgeon.

Don't surgeons have to have
cleannails?

Excuse me, sir.

Now, I don't want
to pull rank here,

but when those old and
lonely illustrators in there

ask why there wasn't
a show tonight,

you want to be the
one to tell them
it was your fault?

What show?

We're carolers.

In March?

We're...

Easter carolers.

♪ Easter Sunday ♪

♪ It's... a fun day ♪

♪ Dyeing eggs ♪

♪ Making baskets ♪

♪ Walking in a parade ♪

♪ Easter, ooh-wah. ♪

[ sniffling]:
That was...

beautiful.

[ door buzzes]

I got you now...

Speedy Sam.

Honk... honk.

[ coughing and wheezing]

Hi. We're looking for

Mr. Leopold's room.

He's in room...

Excuse me.

No running in
the hall, please!

Room .

[ door creaks]

[ soft music playing]

Hello, Mr. Leopold.

My name is
Chuckie Finster.

I am a big fan
of Armadillo Dave.

He was my friend.

I learned to read
thanks to him.

Well, not really.

But I learned to read
thought bubbles.

I know things change
when you grow up.

But I wasn't ready
for the biggest one:

losing Armadillo Dave.

So, I'm here to ask you
to reconsider.

MAN:First,

he's not
Mr. Leopold.

I am.

Secondly, get out!
Thirdly...

[ slurred]:
my plate's loose.

Not until you promise
not to end Armadillo Dave.

[ gulps]

Are those your molars?

Armadillo Dave had
his place in the sun,

but that sun's set.

But he doesn't need sun.
Remember when he was trapped

in "The Dryer
of a Thousand Socks,"

with only
his poor eyesight

and his ability to burrow
to rely on?

You really need
to watch more TV.

See this? Arthritis.

From drawing that crustacean
for years!

"Crustacean"?!

He's a Dasypus hybridus.

Mr. Leopold, Armadillo Dave
can't be happy

how his life ended.

Draw one more issue.

End it the right way.

Please?

I'm through with
that turtle wanna-be!

Now I'm late
for my sponge bath.

Hand me that glue,
will you, Phil?

I still say there's no way
that rat's

going to fit in that maze.

Only one way
to find out--

one of us
puts him in.

And by "one of us,"
I mean anybody but me.

No way I'm touching
that stapler-with-fur.

Well, I'm too weak
from blood loss.

Okay, we work as a team.

I'll open the door,

Phil, you grab the rat,
toss him into the shoe box

and Lil will dump him
in the maze.

Okay?
On three.

One, two...

Bye.
See ya.
Good luck
with that.

Hi, guys.

Chuckie!

Okay, the contest is
in less than hours.

The first thing we need
is a cool theme.

Any ideas?

Darkness?
A bottomless abyss

that plummets into
black nothingness?

Okay, you're sad.

I get it.

But enough already!

Isn't it time you got
over Armadillo Dave?

Over him?

Yeah!

I never really got this
in the first place.

I mean, if you're
going to moan

about some superhero,

at least pick
a good one.

Armadillo Dave had to be
the lamest superhero ever.

He was nearsighted,
slow, and a klutz.

Yeah, well,
so am I!

Maybe he did just
roll into a ball

and let bad guys
b*at on him.

Maybe he wasn't flashy

like all those
other superheroes.

But he was
still super to me!

[ grunts]

TV NARRATOR:
There are over species
of armadillo.

The largest is
the giant armadillo.

Wow.

This show's given me
a newfound respect

for the animal kingdom.

Fish stick?

Dad?

How did you get over it
when mom d*ed?

[ swallows hard]

Well... gee.

You know, part of me
will always miss her.

But I had you to take care of,

and then Kira and Kimi
came along.

You know,
sometimes I think

the best way
to forget your problems

is-is by helping others
with theirs.

NARRATOR [ on TV]:
The armadillo may be
a nearsighted

and defenseless creature...[ barking]

...but it's learned to survive
anything life throws at it.

[ tires screech]

[ crashing]

[ snarl]

I'm going with
feetsie pajamas tonight.

Care to join me?

Gee, sounds tempting.

No, thanks.

I can't believe Chuckie'd
bail on me like this,

all because he lost some
dumb comic book character.

I don't get it.

Maybe you're
not supposed to, T.

What's that mean?

We don't know what it's like
to lose someone we love.

Chuckie does.

His mom.

You're right.

Man, why didn't I
think of that?

It's the feetsie
pajamas, bro.

Yup, they do
something to a man.

Whoa!
Whoa!

What are you doing out here?

I was just coming over
to see you.

I was coming to see you.

I'm sorry, Tommy.

No, I'm sorry.

I made a promise
to help you

and I should have
kept it.

But I didn't know

what you were going through.

I wasn't being
very understanding.

Thanks.

Aren't we supposed to hug
now or something?

We-we can skip that part.

Good.Good.

Good.Good.

You still need help
with that maze?

Only a ton.

Come on.

A-plus!

Awesome job, dude.Thanks.

[ loudspeaker feedback squeaks]

Welcome to the third annual
"Crazy Maze Race."

[ applause and cheers]Let me introduce
this year's judges.

Television
and recording star Emica...

[ crowd screaming]

...couldn't be here
due to a lip-syncing fiasco

at the Syracuse State Fair.

In her place, we're lucky to get
racing champ Oil Can Bonnet.

[ cheering]

And special guest
Armadillo Dave...

[ scant applause]

...here to promote
the last issue

of his long-running comic book.

And the last judge?
Well, me.

[ no applause]

Okay, girls and boys,
start your rodents!

It looks great,

but have you figured out

how you're going to get "Jaws"
in there?

[ snarling]

We took a tip from
the armadillo. Tommy?

[ straining]

[ screaming]

[ shrieks]

[ mouse squeaking]

[ screaming]

[ crowd screaming]

[ laughing]

Oh... oh, my.
Oh, no. Oh...

Don't panic!

We-we have it all under control.

Oh...

[ snarling]

Tommy, your rat!

[ snarling]

[ screaming]

[ whimpering]

[ crowd cheers]

Are you sure you want
to get rid of all this?

Yup. I'm ready to say
good-bye to Armadillo Dave.

I don't need a hero
to believe in anymore.

I am one.

Besides, I don't want
to end up like that.

[ Harold buzzing]

Well, you'll always have
the memories.

Oh, you'll be fine
without me, Chuckie.

I know it.

I know it, too.

Thank you, Armadillo Dave.

For everything.

No, thank you.

Watch the fire hydrant!

[ crashing; water splashing]

[ gibberish, honking,
spring boinging]

HAROLD:
Just as well--

I was getting nauseous
smelling my own breath.