10x09 - Blenanas

Episode transcripts for the show, "Adventure Time". Aired: April 5, 2010 - September 3, 2018.*
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Twelve- year-old Finn battles evil in the Land of Ooo.
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10x09 - Blenanas

Post by bunniefuu »

[Mouse squeaks]

[Penguins chirp]

[Screeches]

[All cheering]

[Screeches]

[Quacks]

J“ “Adventure Time“ J“

I Come on, grab your friends J“

J‘ We're going to
very distant lands I

J“ With Jake the dog
and Finn the human J‘

J“ The fun will never end r

J‘ It‘s “Adventure Time“ I

FINN:
"B.R.B. Jake."

Hmm. B.R.B.

B.R.B.
Bring regular babies.

Big red baIIs. No.

Beautiful rump burger.

What you doing, Finn?

Jake left me this note,
but I, uh -- tsk --

I can't remem
what the abbreve means.

[Gasps]
It's for me!

This is Jake's special code
to tell me he loves me.

No, it's something normal
like, uh...

Be right back.

Right!
"Be right back!"

[Laughs]
So dumb.

Cool.
Jake'll be right back.

[Thudi]

Look, Finn!
My Jake Valentines.

He leaves them for me
when he goes out.

FINN:
That's cute, BMO.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, B/e.
I love B/e!

I'll read some B/e till
Jake gets back, I guess.

[Gasps]

Kee, kee, kee, kee.

[Buzzing]

[Finn chuckles]

"What‘s your favorite food?"

"Anything! As long
as it‘s made of cheese!"

[Laughs]

Aw, man, these comics

are like if someone
out my soul on a page.

Hmm?

"You write the caption."

Okay!

Hmm.
[Laughs]

Ahh.

"Ouch!
Hey, this isn't helping."

[Chuckles]
Yeah.

Ja—— I mean, BMO!

[Smooching]

Check this funny caption
I just wrote.

Hmm.

[Beeping]

No humor detected.

What?
No, it's -— it's like...

this guy's problem
is a tiger biting his foot,

and talking to this guy
isn't helping!

Like, "Ouch!
Hey, this isn't helping!"

You know, like, it's,
you know, like...

Was the tiger
already biting his foot?

Or did the tiger bite his foot
after he lay down on the couch?

Because that is the bearded
man's responsibility.

BMO, I love you, but you
don't understand comedy.

Maybe it's just not funny.

[Gasps]

This is funny,
and I'm gonna prove it!

You are?

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty bored,
and this is really funny, BMO.

Prove it!

Fine! I'm going to!

Fine!
I'll be right here!

- Fine!
- Fine!

—[Siren wailing]
- Bwee—woo—bwee—woo!

This is a drill!

I repeat, this is a drill!

— Oh, no!
— A real drill!

You two, raise your
resinous glaze shields!

[Crash!]

— Oh, oh, oh, oh!
— Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Activate the B.H.T.
to preserve freshness!

[Whirring]

We're not ready.

CANDY PERSON:
Intruder! Intruder!

BOTH:
It's our friend Finn.

What's all the hubbub, bubs?

Oh, just some
precautionary exercises

in case our primary alarm
and defense system fails.

Cool. Cool.

Hey, can you look at
this funny thing I wrote?

Oh, sure!
I'm fascinated by humor.

Hmm.

Hmm! Yes.

Certainly what this
hirsute gentleman needs

is a tetanus sh*t.

Excellent point, Finn.

No, but...is it funny?
Never mind.

I don't have time to explain
the psychology of humor to you.

[Crash!]

But I'd like you
to read this book.

Hey, what do you think you're ——

Oh! Princess Bubblegum!

Thank you, Princess.

"Der Witz Und Seine Beziehung
Zum Unterbewussten."

"The Joke and His Relation
to the Unconscious."

It's printed
in "Gebrochene Schrift,"

which I think is easier
on the eyes.

"Der Witz Und...

Der Witz Und...See—einy...

Bezeyhung. . .Zumbevvuzzzz. ..

Ugh! Pb's too smart.

That's why
she doesn't get my joke.

I mean...it's funny.

It's funny.

"Ouch! Hey, this isn‘t

[Chuckles]
"This isn‘t helping."

[Snickers]

Uh, it's super funny.

Turbo nerds like Pb
just aren't the right audience

for this sort of thing,
you know?

I should show this to normal
people, the common folk.

The busy woman on the go.
The regular Joe or Josephine.

Or somebody like Ice King,
who's desperate for my approval.

[Laughing]

Finn, this is so funny!

A kitty with big teeth?!
Come on!

[Chuckles] Yeah, I didn't
draw that, but cool.

Well, thanks for --

Oh, yeah.
But, uh, what if --

And I'm just spitballin'.

What if it was
something more like,

"Hey, Doc!
I got a caveman in my teeth!"

Huh?

[Quacking]

Ha—ha! Whoo!

Heh. Yeah.
That's pretty good, I guess.

Oh, is this B/e?
I love B/e!

That one with the two cops

who are always accidentally
arresting each other!

Right?!
And "Animal Quackers"!

I've been mailing them
my short stories and comics

for as long as I can remember.

But, uh, nary a piece published.

Nary a piece.

Nary a piece!

I hate B/e!

Sittin' in their ivory towers!

They don't know comedy!

They don't understand
the common folk!

The busy woman on the go!

BOTH: The average Joe
or Josephine! Right!

See? We got the goods,
you and I,

and they've lost their touch.

Hey, if we want them
to touch our goods,

we should go down there
and confront them face—to—face.

And ifI get
my winning caption printed,

everybody will know it's funny!

I'm talkin' about you, BMO.

But, uh,
where do they print B/e?

Oh, yeah.
I don't, uh...

Oh! Oh!
Here, hold this.

I'll use my...
demonic wishing eye!

[Whoosh!]

[Puma]

Hello, Ice King.

Hello, Wishy!

What do you like to wish for?

I wish to go to B/e!

You go, girl!

- Whaaa!
- Whaaa!

-[Plink!]
- Whoa.

Why don't you just use
that thing all the time?

Oh, it takes a piece of your
soul each time you use it.

But look!
The legendary Bledquarters!

It must be so fun to work here,

just sittin' around,
making up jokes all day.

PUDDING TROLL: Hey!

Hey.

Aww. Who are you?

I'm a pudding troll,
and I guard this humor magazine.

Uhhhh, why?

It‘s...my job.

Why is this yourjob?

I...applied?

I‘m maybe not following you.

I think I better escort you
off the premises.

No! No, no, no. We just want
to pitch a cartoon caption!

Hey, Big Tina,
it's your time to shine, okay?

[Inhales, retching]

[Both screaming]

Waahh!

[Gulping]

Okay, what's our plan here?

Maybe if we eat all this a*mo,

he'll be forced
to make more for us.

Wait. You can fly!

Uh-oh!
Angle up, Big Tina!

[Laughs]

[Splat!]

Uh-Oh!

Ugh!

You win. Fine.

I've never let anyone
inside before,

so! hope you have
an amazing pitch.

Hey! These are
all my submissions!

They kept them in a big pile
by the door.

Seems like a good sign!

Well, sh**t, man.

Looks like everyone here
is crazy dead.

I've been guarding dead people
for 500 years.

Wow, I need to sit with that.

This means that B/e Magazine
is dead, too!

Now how am I supposed to
prove my caption's funny?

Ding—dong!

I found B/e 217!

We can see what
the winning caption was.

FINN: "I'm going to
write you a prescription

for one giant club."

Pfft!

It's about time us young g*ns
took the reins.

[Crash!]

[Horn blowing]

[Quacking]

[Quacking]

Hello, boys.

Now let's roll these presses
one last time.

[Keyboards clacking]

[Machines whirring]

[Hiss!]

[Click!]

Our very own Ble Magazine.

And it's a pretty good
issue, too.

We got that nice cover you did,

my short story, "Fionna
and Cake: Baby Detectives,"

some, looks like,
pudding jokes...

PUDDING TROLL:
Big Tina wrote those!

ICE KING:
..."Fionna and Cake:

Baby Detectives
Go to College”...

and, of course, your caption!

Wow!
It looks amazing in print.

Guys, I'm gonna be honest,

just speaking
as an average Josephine,

I really don‘t get that caption.

Maybe it doesn't matter
if my caption is funny or not.

I think I just wanted
to be part of Ble.

It's something I've been
a fan of for so long.

And maybe we can bring it back.

There's no reason
it can't have a new dawn.

A Blennaissance!

Okay, boys, close her down!

[Crashing]

[Fire alarm ringing]

No, you're right.
Can't be nostalgic!

Man, that caption was amazing
in my head.

Maybe I'm not
a very funny person.

Like, I got low comedy stats.

That's kind of a bummer.

[BMO humming]

[Door opens]

Yo, BMO.
Check it out!

I got Ble to publish my caption,

even though I don't need you
to think I'm funny anymo-

Aaaaah!

[Rip!i

Whoa! Aaaaah!

[Thud!]

[Buzzing]

[Both laughing]

J“ Come along with me I

r And the butterflies and bees J‘

This party is so crazy!
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