05x04 - Hard Decisions

Complete collection from season one to five. Aired December 2000 - August 2005.*
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The lives and loves of a group of gay friends living in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
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05x04 - Hard Decisions

Post by bunniefuu »

[We're beginning with the favourite sport of Justin and Brian - but they're not alone. They have another couple in their bed. Justin get's f*cked by the other man and Brian fucks the 4th man.]

Music:

# Personal Jesus - Marilyn Manson

[After the sex the other couple lies arm in arm while Justin take pot from Brian.]

Man: How much time you're together?

Brian and Justin: 4 years.

Man#1: You get straight.

Justin: It's complicated.

Man#1: Obviously.

Justin: What about you?

Man#2: Goin on 10 years.

Justin: sh*t! It's amazing. How do you do that?

Brian: I'm not sure if I'm gonna do hear this.

Man#1: Communication...

Man#2: Honesty...

Man#1: Respect...

Man#2: And a lot f*cking around.

Man#1: A couple of place together, a couple stays together.

Brian: That's what I'm always said - nothing k*ll marriage faster than monogomy.

Man#1: Yeah, try that for 6 months. He stop lying, sneaking around.

Man#2: Yeah, he call me a f*cking neighbour. I thoughed those guys are hot, so I'm join them.

Man#1: It solved all our problems.

Man#2: So how you got hook up again?

Brian: Oh, we have a strict rule - not to see anyone twice. But since you two of you...

[Melanie gets the mail. She opens a mail and say nothing. Cut to Lindsay. She also open a envelope and, the 3rd member of the party Michael gets the mail.]

Ben: OK, I'm a lonely writing professor, for christ sakes. But I'm not gonna take that crip together.

Michael: You must finish onced JR arrives. It's official. I have 1/4 of my daughter.

[Ben umbrace him.]

Ben: Oh, congratulations!

Michael: Could have more - but Brian stucks his nose in.

Ben: Hey, hey, it's not his fault.

Michael: He's the one who conviced Lindsay to fight for custody. He paid for a g*dd*mn lawyer.

Ben: But she's a mother too. It's much as fair.

Michael: Now we must plit out baby in three ways.

Ben: You know, as long as she's love and care for I'm sure we all have got. Would you help me put this thing together, before I loose my f*cking...

[Michael looks straight in his eyes.]

Ben: Yeah, before I loose my mind.

[We're at the diner... no, wait. It's Debbies house, but she still waitressing for Carl.]

Debbie: You're eggs are up. Meat or dry?

Carl: Uh, right dry. Sweetheart?

Debbie: Ya, hon?

Carl: Would you sit down, please? Stop waitring on me, like I was in the diner.

Debbie: Guess that's why called dry hard. You wanted a beacon extra cruspy.

[Carl gets her.]

Carl: If you won't stop... How about the tip?

Debbie: Oh, I was counting on a big one tonight.

Carl: Honey, you just get more than a tip.

[Debbie laughs and they kiss each other.]

Carl: More I hold you, more I can't keep my hands of ya. You're not bored, are you?

Debbie: f*cking my brains out?

Carl: No, not working.

Debbie: Are you kidding? I don't know why I waited so long. I finally had my live for myself.

Carl: So, what's our ladies up for today?

Debbie: Oh, piece of maler...

Carl: Piece of what?

Debbie: I want to buy some pyjamas. All of my seems to disappearing.

Carl: Because I took them.

Debbie: I should have known! It was too good to be true!

Carl: You're sexy without them.

Debbie: You know what this is, don't you? It's grand thieft pyjama's. I could have you arrested but not befor we work it off.

[At Kinnetic.]

Ted: Morning Bri', got those files we're talk about it. Greenwall's Account...

[While he's talking more to himself Brian put some posters with hunky young man at his sofa.]

Ted: It was until 1 in the morning but we have all sign sealed. There is nothing to do for the next few days, I'm kinda free as a bird. Listen, I need some little time off.

Brian: A vacation? Drug bench?

Ted: A small medical procedure.

Brian: Finally get the penis enlargement? When are you leaving?

Ted: Tomorrow. I know it's shorten but they had a cancelation, so they fit me in. I'll be back in a week, 10 days tops.

Brian: So what are you having done?

Ted: What makes you think I had anything done?

Brian: Well, the endless hours you spend pulling your face back? Smoothing your stomach? Spill!

Ted: You know, nothing major - brow lift, ...

Brian: What price beauty.

Ted: They aren't cheap. However they're sucking off my chin for free.

Brian: Oh! "Gay man are obsessed by young and beauty. And an entire subcultur convinced that meaning of happyness and love handles." How pathatic. How tragic. How profitable.

Ted: Yeah, but not all is lucky as you. We all can't be Brian Kinney. We have to work twice as hard for half as good.

Brian: I'm sorry Theodore, I don't mean to emperior your noble affords. I thinking you make a big mistake. Not until you get a penis enlargement.

[Justin visiting Melanie and playing with the baby.]

Justin: Oh, she's so adorable! Can I take her home?

Mel: Sure since everyone else is,.

[Lindsay walks in then.]

Lindsay: I didn't know we had a guest.

Mel: Justin's not a guest. Didn't we agree that you ring the bell, not just pop in?

Justin: Hey Lindsay:

[Justin carries J.R. over to Lindsay where he kisses her.]

Lindsay: Hello Justin. I haven't seen you since you're back from L.A.

Justin: I know, I was planing on calling, but I don't have your new number.

Lindsay: I'm sure Brian could get that too.

Justin: So, how's Gus?

Lindsay: Gus is doing great, he's growing as we speak. He's even started to read.

Justin: Oh, I go away a few months and everything changed.

Mel: No sh*t.

Justin: I fall hopelessly in love with your daughter.

Lindsay: Yeah she's pretty irresistable. I found this fleece sleeper. I got three of them. One for me, one for you and one when she's with Michael.

Mel: Not to remind me.

Lindsay: We're make sure that she's taking care of.

Mel: Oh, you've seen that! Thanks to you my daughter is now to a stranger.

Lindsay: Michael is hardly a stranger.

Mel: Well, he might as well be. What does he know about raising an infant? She should be with me, instead tossed around like a f*cking football!

Justin: Maybe I gotta go.

Mel: No! We got a tea, g*dd*mn!

Lindsay: I'll get it.

Mel: You don't live here anymore, remember?

Lindsay: Of course, how can I forget?

Mel: You better listen to me instead we have to play a game of "Baby, Baby, Who's Got The Baby".

Lindsay: That's what killin' you, isn't? It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody arrangement. It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus not getting her way nor can completely controll over everything. Well tough sh*t, you don't. So get used to it.

[The tea kettle whistles from the kitchen and Justin puts down the baby.]

Justin: I'll get the tea.

[Swim hall. Hunter's on the swim team and practice. Ben is there and timing him.]

Hunter: How I did?

Ben: 24 under your best.

Hunter: f*ckin' A! It's because I got those shorts.

Ben: It's time for a start.

Hunter: Think so?

Ben: No, I'm sure.

Coach: OK everybody, let's get rub! Let's go! Good practice. You swim those head two hard days and now go to sleep and don't strain on anyone. Are you winners?

Boys: [all] Yeah!

Coach: I ask you, are you winners?

Boys: [yells] YEAH!

Coach: That's more I like it. [to Ben] Hunter's doin' well.

Ben: Well he fits in and made some good friends.

Coach: And having parents to have time to work with him.

Ben: Thanks, I appreciate it, Coach.

[Callie is on the girl's team. She and Hunter speak to each other.]

Callie: Hey, how's swim?

Hunter: Great, you too?

Boy: Hey, you comin'?

Hunter: Yeah.

[He stands before her.]

Boys: Hey Hunter, we're goin'!

Hunter: Wait up.

[He finally goes away.]

[At the diner. Ted and Emmett talkin' about the surgery.]

Ted: Look, I know you say it's fricking expensive. However, I just...

Emmett: ...had the most fabulous idea for my next segment. The q*eer Guy follows you to your entire surgery. Every little snipping clip. THEN I bring you on my show for the big reveal. [Ted starres at Em] Or I get with my avocardo mask on air as planned.

Ted: Stick with the last though. Promised me, however I come out, you still love me?

Emmett: Honey, I never loved you for the look at the begin with. Not that there is a damn thing wrong with it. When it's that what you gonna do then I'm behind you.

[Debbie appears with the shopping bags.]

Debbie: Get room boys!

Emmett: Hey Debbie, welcome home.

Debbie: Yeah, just like a boomarang at least.

Ted: It's just your comeback.

Emmett: I prefer to returned.

Debbie: Oh, I just passin' by, so I popp my head in and see how's goin'.

Ted: Oh things are doin' great!

Debbie: Yeah?

Ted: I mean it's not the same without you. And are you?

Debbie: Well, since I stop working, Carl and I get plenty exercise, if you get my drift.

Emmett: Yeah, it driftes all the way to my room.

Debbie: So I brough myself a new warm-up too.

[She shows them the sexy red teddy.]

Emmett: Dear god! It's like a glory hole for straights!

[Loretta brings over their food and she has completely "stolen" Debbie's act.]

Loretta: Here you go boys. Hey Deb, when you get here?

Debbie: A couple minutes ago. I stop by to see.

[A shocked Debbie see the same vest covered in buttons, slogan T-shirts, same wisecracks. It's like Debbie has never left. Deb's not happy with that.]

Emmett: [to Ted] Are you sure you all eat that?

Ted: Well tomorrow it's all sucked up.

Loretta: I'm sorry Debbie, what are you tellin'?

Debbie: I just asking how's things are goin'?

Guy#1: Hey Loretta, can I get order?

Loretta: Yeah wonderwoman! I'm doin' f*cking great.

Emmett: She's doin' f*cking great.

Loretta: So, what can I get you? Pink plates special? Today's Carl's fish special. What he do with the rest of the fish.

Debbie: I have a bowl of peace soup.

Guy#2: Hey, L'roe, where is my tuna rap?

Loretta: It's there in a minute.

Ted: [laughs] She's a whoot, isn't she?

Debbie: Yeah(!)

[At the comic book store.]

Michael: So, how was rehersal?

Ben: Oh, it's called practice.

Michael: Right.

Hunter: I got my kicked down my cap.

Ben: And his head up...

Hunter: And it's my best time since two tense 2nd.

Michael: That's awesome, dude, right on! I'll can't wait until the performance. I'll be in the first row.

Hunter: It's called a meet.

Michael: Hey, all I know about swimming is from movies with my mom.

[Brian enters the store.]

Brian: Hey boys.

Ben: Hey Brian. [to Hunter] C'mon pal, we're caught up.

[Ben kisses Michael and leaves him alone with Brian.]

Brian: You mind if I'm put this up?

[He hold a poster for Hard Heroes night at Babylon.]

Michael: Hard Heroes Night?

Brian: Every superhero fantasy you've ever had come true.

Michael: I'm not sure if it's appropriate for my younger clientel.

Brian: I'm sure your younger clientel are lusting over those bulging biceps they way you did. They're grew up to fags anyway, so what's the difference?

Michael: Yeah, ok.

Brian: I expect you be there.

Michael: I don't think so. I've got work, fixing a house and we got to bed pretty early.

Brian: Superheros Mikey - superman on superman.

Michael: We can make a deal -- I'll check on your new place when you check out ours.

Brian: OK, deal.

Michael: Ben and I had a new neighnors for dinner tomorrow. Why you and Justin join us?

Brian: Fabulous. I'll bring a bottle.

Michael: Red would be nice.

Brian: I meant poppers.

[He kisses Mikey, and leaves the store.]

[Justin visiting Lindsay at the gallery were she works. She is looking at some of his art.]

Lindsay: Interesting, not bad.

Justin: Is that a compliment or you just letting me down easy?

Lindsay: Would I ask you to be considered for the emerging artists show?

Justin: Thanks, Linds. But I don't want advantage of our friendship.

Lindsay: What has this to do with advantage when you're work is good? And we're still friends.

Justin: Why wouldn't not be?

Lindsay: Well time changes when couples break up. Friends gravity to one person than the other. So I wouldn't be surprised or hurt if you decided to gravitate to Mel. Well, I think I would.

Justin: That never will happen. You have always be, Mel and Linds. At the very beginning when I first meet Brian you two were there for me. A shoulder to cry on, a couch to sleep on. I can't never take sides. I love you both.

Lindsay: Well, there is one thing Mel and me still agree on - we feel the same way for you. I'm sorry your a witness of our performance.

Justin: Oh please, Brian and I had a couple Acedemy Award Fights ourselves. So is there are any chance for you and Mel...

Lindsay: Got back together? I was hoping at first we could. That we make up and be forgiven. But now... I'll guess you call that "magicial thinking".

Justin: Yeah, but you never know.

Lindsay: Well, I think we should definately considered this one. [she speaks to the picture of Justin]

[A depressed Debbie is sitting on the couch, eating whipped cream and ice cream and ordering stuff from QVC.]

Emmett: I'm off for a party at the "q*eer Guy Team". Don't forget to watch.

Debbie: I'm warm up the seat.

Emmett: Look at you - you in the caftan in the afternoon, instead sweating in the diner.

Debbie: Surprime of the lifetime! [to the phone] Yeah, I'm here. I want the griddle, and the last item too.

Emmett: Wow, that make 2 items in the last 15 seconds. Must be a new record. So, what's wrong?

Debbie: What should be wrong? Like you said, look at me - I'm the happiest women in the world. I got endless hours for my supose. I can eat all the f*cking icecream that I want. I can order at me favourite station at QVC. I'll almost ordered a lama. So, what should any be wrong?! Except that bitch stole my act!

Emmett: Which bitch?

Debbie: What bitch do you think? That pie-person! She was so innocent at first. "I don't know how do anything. I don't have any experience." Man, she hustled me. She hustled be good. And I fell for it! Now she's wearing my t-shirts and my buttons! She should be arrested for idenity theft.

Emmett: You know, I think you set the legacy. Remember, you wanted to leave. It was your decision. And she's just carrying on the legacy, keeping on tradition. For me it's the highest form of flattery.

Debbie: Or the lowest form of imitation!

Emmett: Don't be angry. Be proud. Pass on the mantle with dignity. Always dignity. And don't order a lama, order a virgin.

[He kisses her at her forehead and leaves.]

Debbie: Dignity... always dignity.

[She's taking the ice cream bottle in her mouth and eat it.]

[Brian and Justin in the shower.]

Justin: It's amazing.

Brian: That I can crag your back for the last 10 minutes and haven't been f*ck ya?

Justin: That you and I be together and Melanie and Lindsay are being apart.

Brian: Well, who knows what wonders the fate have in store.

[They get out of the shower and start drying off.]

Justin: I mean if they can't make it, who can?

Brian: Ding-ding-ding. The correct answer is, no-one.

Justin: Stop being so cynical.

Brian: I'm not being cynical, I'm being...

Justin: Realistic.

Brian: Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? I despise it when couples do that.

Justin: Hah. Did you hear that, Rubbery Ducky? He said 'couples'. [Dark look from Brian] I guess I better quit while I'm ahead.

Brian: [Pulling Justin to him] Not before you give me some, Mon Amour.

Justin: 'Mon Amour'? I love how other people's tragic marital plights make you romantic.

Brian: Hard.

Justin: Christ, what a big boner.

Brian: All the better to...

Justin: f*ck me with?

Brian: Didn't I just warn ...

Justin: ...about finishing your sentences?

Brian: Marriage is a doomsday machine destined to self-destruct. Fortunately for you and I we spare such dismal Fate.

[They kiss each other.]

[Debbie giving her old T-shirts to Loretta.]

Loretta: "Life is just a bowl of fairys?"

Debbie: It's one of my favourites. I want you to have it.

Loretta: Well thanks. I think you might be a little pissed about my new look.

Debbie: I love your new look. I loved it on me. And I'm proud of you. You're doin' a great job in the diner.

Loretta: Well it's easy when you have such a good teacher.

Debbie: You're goin' somewhere?

Loretta: Uh, you might say that. I'm leaving.

Debbie: Oh, for the weekend?

Loretta: No, for good. My g*dd*mn sister told my g*dd*mn husband were I am. Now he's coming to get me.

Debbie: So where you're goin'?

Loretta: I haven't that time to figure it out yet. But I know I can't be here when he shows up.

Debbie: Just hold on. You also can't run away.

Loretta: I can and I am.

Debbie: When the assh*le shows up just tell him to f*ck off!

Loretta: You do not can tell him to f*ck off. No sir, no way! And that's a fact.

Debbie: Well, here's another one. Wherever you go he find you too.

Loretta: So, what do I do?

Debbie: I'll give you another t-shirt. You can wear when he arrives.

Loretta: What is that said?

Debbie: It doesn't say anything - it does look that way.

[see the picture at the left.]

Debbie: There will get the message.
[Brian and Justin at Michael and Ben's dinner together with Eli and Monty.]

Eli: If you want fruits you have to plants now.

Monty: Eli is the gardner in the family. I'm the chef.

Eli: And the rose bushes needs a front cut and they look fabulous.

[Michael goes around them and pours some red whine]

Michael: I remember when I was a kid planting pean in the front yard...

Brian: And look what looms.

Eli: Which one of you is the gardner and which one is the chef?

Justin: I really like cooking.

Brian: And I love planting my seeds in some hole... [Eli looks confused] in the ground.

Monty: By the way I brought a petition.

Ben: Oh, great. We'll be happy to sign.

Eli: We're trying to get the city to installed bumps in the streets.

Ben: I doubt Brian is interested in street bumps.

Brian: On the contrary street bumps are extremely important. Especially when you go out dancing.

Eli: What exactly do you do, Brian?

Justin: He's the president of C.E.O. Kinnetic - the top advertising agency in Pittsburgh.

Brian: I'm also C.E.O. president of Babylon - the top gay dance club in Pittsburgh.

Eli: Babylon? We're haven't there been years.

Brian: Oh, you two should come by as my personal guest.

Monty: I didn't think Babylon no longer suits our lifestyle.

Michael: Can I get anybody anything?

Brian: Which lifestyle is that, Monty?

Monty: I'm Monty.

Brian: Which lifestyle is that, Monty?

Monty: These days we prefered to spend quiet time at home with our kids.

Eli: Rather than in a room surrounded by drugged up Peter Pans.

Brian: You know, so many couples I've spook these days are feel that way. That's why I'm started a Monogamous Monday.

Ben: Brian is a real kidder.

Eli: I hardly think it's kind of the promiscuous behavior that Babylon promotes is a laughing matter.

Brian: Oh c'mon, fellas. Don't tell me that after ... how many you've said? ... 10 years together you haven't had a little extra marital ass...

Justin: Brian!

Eli: Actually, we've never have. It's called being in a mature, loving relationship.

Brian: That's called being dead.

Michael: Brian, can you help me with desert?

Brian: First, the present. I hope you're boys doesn't have one.

[Brian sitting a wrapped box on the table. He pulls a sling out of it.]

Ben: You bought us a sling?

Brian: You told me you're renoving your playroom.

Michael: Not that kind of playroom.

Brian: Oh, I still get sure you got hours of enjoyment from it. So, what's for desert?

[At Hunter's swim meet.]

Michael: In our home! In front of our friends!

Ben: You got to let you go, Michael.

Michael: I know, it wasn't about an hour ago.

Ben: [shouts] There you go, Callie!

Michael: Callie's parents make a fool of themselve.

Ben: Just ignore them. We're here for Hunter.

Speaker: "Next up, 50m boys free style."

Michael: Oh my god, that's us.

Speaker: "Swimmers, on your marks."

[The boys swims, Ben and Michael cheers Hunter on. He wins his race but he bumps his head.]

Callie: Hunter, are you okay?

Michael: He hurts himself.

Ben: sh*t.

[They running down. Hunter starts to bleed, blood and getting into the pool. Callie jumps in the water to help him and her parents stand up in the bleachers.]

Callie's father: Don't touch him!

Callie's mother: Get out of the pool, honey!

Callie's father: [screams] He has AIDS!

[Silence falls over the crowd.]

Couch: Everybody out! Get out!

Ben: C'mon pal, let's look at you.

[Emmett is at the doctor's office with Ted. He's going to the journal of beauty faces.]

Emmett: Now THAT's what I called a chin! Oh Teddy, if you get this cheeks, I would. What do you think?

Ted: [looks at the mirror] I think I gonna puke.

Emmett: I warned you, didn't I? I warn you to tortured yourself.

Ted: It's not that. Look at me! I look like a couch in the pusher shop!

Emmett: It's just a sign to reveal your new... look.

Ted: I didn't have any surgery before. Everything is intact. My pendex, my tonsil.

Emmett: Foreskin.

Ted: My teeth. It's my first time under the knief.

Emmett: Oh, it's nothing.

Ted: You just sit and say what you want. I'm the one who suffers the real pain for the sake of a new me. If I didn't like the new me?

Emmett: What's not to like?

Ted: Maybe Brian's right. Maybe it's the obsession of youth and beauty is shallow narcistic...

Emmett: We're fags, for Christ sakes! Being obsessed about beauty is our god given right!

Ted: Should I pull out?

Emmett: You seriously asking me this question? Teddy, for as long as I know you you have never felt good, really good about yourself. So, for few decisions for you finally find the courage to look in the mirror and smile, then I say it's not superficially - it's blessing.

Ted: Thank you.

Doc: Mr.Schmidt?

Emmett: Go on!

[Mel and Lindz in their house.]

Mel: Diapers, bear. Lotion, where is the lotion?

Lindsay: That's not for a beauty contest.

Mel: For a baby you must b prepared.

Lindsay: Spoken like a true scout. This was a joke.

Mel: All they must do is cook the milk.

Lindsay: When's Michael picking her up?

Mel: About an hour.

Lindsay: Mel...

Mel: I didn't know what he's f*cking doin'!

Lindsay: We're find out. You know, I was thinking. Why does Gus spend with you tomorrow night?

Mel: Have a date?

Lindsay: No, I just though it would be nice for you to have some company.

Mel: So, I don't be lonely. Thanks, but as much I would love to have him here, I don't need your pitty.

Lindsay: It's not pitty...

Mel: No, it's you being greatness...

Lindsay: I only trying to think of you.

Mel: Maybe you should done this at the first place.

Lindsay: Gus, honey, it's time to leave. I hope you goes well tomorrow. Despite what you've think.

[Hunter, Ben and Michael coming home from the E.R.]

Hunter: Two hours for a f*cking headache.

Ben: We're home now.

Michael: Come down and relax.

Hunter: Relax!?

Michael: You have a concussion. The doctor told me...

Hunter: I'm fine! There is nothing wrong with me. Except the face of Callies assh*le father and the kind mother!

Michael: Hey!

Hunter: Well, she is! Now the whole school knows I have AIDS.

Ben: You don't have AIDS, you have HIV.

Hunter: Don't tell me, tell them. Except you don't have to. Cause I'm never goin' back.

Ben: You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Hunter: Yeah, right(!)

Ben: The coach says he gonna talk to everyone and explain that they can't infected from a few drops in a chlorinated pool.

Michael: If you wanna take a day off tomorrow, that's fine by us, but sooner or later you gonna have to go back.

Ben: Yeah, when you do, you can tell them, you the 50m free style Champion.

[Hunter sighs dejectly.]

[Brian and Justin watching the dancers rehearse.]

Brian: Superheros supposed to look like they're flying like superheroes, not falling like two crash test dummies. Try it again!

Justin: It looks pretty good.

Brian: Really good it's not good enough. When Mchael see it he looses his mind, and his breath and his control.

Justin: Then what? Come running back to Babylon where he belongs? This ain't gonna happen. He's happy with what he is.

Brian: Gay man can't live on gardening and speed bums alone. Sooner or later he pays restless in his age, hooling at the moon and he break free from suburbia and returns to the jungle where he belongs. OK, let's give it another try.

[Liberty Diner. Loretta's waitress.]

Loretta: Honey, the chicken and the meat loaf.

Darell: Excuse me, Ma'am. Can you please take my order?

[Loretta's in shock.]

Boy: Hey, I didn't order this!

Loretta: Try, you like it.

Darell: Honey, before you say anything, I just wanna say I'm truly, deeply sorry am I for all the spank. How's your job?

Loretta: I can efford my expenses, so I guess it's okay.

Darell: Look, I know I lost my temperament. I promise I won't do that again.

Loretta: That's what you've always say.

Darell: C'mon, it's time for you to come home.

Loretta: Darell, I...

Darell: You don't have to apologize... I forgive you.

Loretta: You forgive me?

Darell: Yeah, forget what all happen.

Loretta: I don't wanna forget it. I'm not going back home. I'm staying here.

Darell: In some f*g diner!? Is anybody take care of yourself? To be independed. That's will be funny, if it's were so pittyful.

Loretta: I'm not pityful.

Darell: What do you think you proving here? That you can live without a man? That you're a lessy?

Loretta: I am, Darell. I am a lesbian and I'm not ashamed.

Darell: You want me. Your problem is you have to get me.

Loretta: Now, you're wrong.

Darell: What you say to me!?

Loretta: I told you.

Darell: And I'm telling you, I park this car outside, now let's go!

[He tries to drag her out of the diner but Debbie is there with a baseball bat.]

Debbie: She said you to f*ck off! Don't YOU understand?

Darell: Who the hell are you?

Debbie: I'm the one with the baseball hat.

Darell: It's between me and my wife.

Debbie: And she's trying to tell you something and you're not getting it in your head, so maybe my friend here can help ya.

Darell: Let's go.

Loretta: No! I've said no! You are not a nice person, Darell. You don't thr*at me with the respect I've deserved. And I don't love you anymore.

Debbie: I hope you've heard it this time. You better leave, before me and my f*g friends b*at the sh*t out of you.

[He leaves without a word.]

[Hunter walking down the halls of the school. He's now the outcast, everyone looking at him, talking about him, moving to avoid him when he walks past. He goes to his locker and Callie approaches him.]

Callie: How's your head?

Hunter: I'll live.

Callie: Look, I'm sorry for what happened.

Hunter: What are you sorry for? I don't stupid enough for blame you that you found out.

Boy: Hey Callie, what do you wasting your time for him? He's a f*g.

Boy#2: I've heard you got AIDS from an old geyser f*cked him up the ass. For cash.

Hunter: You've told.

Callie: No! I swear, I didn't.

Boy#2: Hey f*gg*t, 5 bucks. What didn't you suck my cock?

Hunter: I've charges more than from assholes like you.

[The guy starts to hit him.]

Callie: Stop it!

Hunter: Why you stop? C'mon hit me, get my blood all over you.

[The bell rings.]

Callie: You ok?

[Hunter runs away in pain.]

[Ted having a dream. In Brian's agency. At the wall are pictures of Ted with a hot body.]

Brian: I'm sorry but I can promise you Schmidt. He is the hottest guy in town. Even I wanna f*ck him.

Ted: I'm sorry Brian. You can't have me.

[Cut to the reality. Instead Brian Emmett calling his name after the surgery.]

Emmett: Teddy? Ted? It's me, Em.

Ted: Oh, I'm only dreaming.

Emmett: You say, how do you feel?

Ted: I feel like I hit a bus and I were death and step over an elephant. How do I look?

Emmett: Well Ted, puffy. But the doctor said give it a few days and you'r be gorgeous.

Ted: Thank you for be with me.

Emmett: Please, when I'm do this you'll be right there with me. Now you may lay there and rest. And remember, no peeking!

[Emmett leaves and of course Ted has to go to the mirror and look at himself. He screams in horror.]

[Loretta and Debbie getting drunk at Woodys.]

Loretta: You just see his face?

Debbie: Pissed as hell.

Both: Another sh**t!

Debbie: I'm so proud of you. Say that former assh*le say to f*ck off.

Loretta: I'll never could that done without you and your big hat.

Debbie: Bigger than his.

Loretta: You better believe it.

Debbie: You don't have to afraid from anybody.

Loretta: I don't now how I can ever repay you this. First you give me a new life. And then you save it.

Debbie: Honey, you don't owe me a damn thing. There is something you believe yourself. Happyness. Even through a lot of sh*t. Then you deserve it.

Loretta: To someone to share of it?

Debbie: Someone to thr*at you right.

[They drink to that.]

Debbie: I think I better go home before the sun go up.

Loretta: Me to, I have the early shift in the diner.

Debbie: Well, when you open up the place, I lay in my bed.

[Debbe umbrace her to goodbye. Loretta kisses her on the lips.]

Loretta: I love you.

Debbie: You to. Bye.

Loretta: Bye.

[Michael and Ben picking up J.R. and Mel giving them last minute instructions.]

Mel: There is breat milks, diapers, bottom warmer, her blanket.

Michael: We have blanket.

Mel: She sleept with this one every night since she was born. It's an antike. And here the feeding instruction. It's practically every three hours or when she's hungry. She'll let you know. And make sure the milks warm but not too hot.

[Mel give J.R. relucted in Michael's arms.]

Mel: When anything happens or any questions...

Michael: Yeah, we'll call.

[The party is going full swing at Babylon, the superheroes dancing for the crowd. Brian is standing on the baloney looking towards the door for Michael. who isn't coming. Brian walks off.]

[Cut to Mel who is sitting alone in her now empty house.]

[Dancers partying at Babylon.]

[Then a sh*t of J.R. in her crib at Michael and Ben's place. They are standing over her, smiling down at her.]

[Back at Babylon, Brian and Justin are drinking at the bar.]

Justin: He might still come.

Brian: f*ck him. More caped crusaders for us.

[He puts his hands on Justin's shoulders and they walk off into the crowd together.]

Music:

The Joint is Jumping - D1 Music featuring Lisa Hunt

END OF EPISODE
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