03x02 - Dubya, Dad and Dating: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

This sucks.

If you hadn´t disobeyed
your father

And heckled
the president,

You wouldn´t be
getting punished.

Yeah, but making me fold
dad´s underwear

Is cruel and unusual.

This is cruel.

And this is unusual.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

George: angie.

Hey, honey.

Listen, don´t freak out

And don´t tell
the kids...

...but i´m in jail.

You´re in jail?!

Dad´s in jail?

Wow, he finally k*lled
grandma.

You´re next.

Oh, my god,
what happened?

What should I do?

Who should I call?

I only get one phone call,
right?

Baby, relax.
That´s me.

I´m coming down there right now
to bail you out.

Look, it´s not
that simple.

They want to extradite me
to arizona.

Manny pressed charges against me
for punching him.

Your own father
did this to you?

Punching was too good
for him.

Next time split his skull
with a pickax,

And we´ll bury him
in the desert.

You know, they listen in
on these phone calls.

Look, I don´t have
a lot of time.

You got to get me
a lawyer right away,

And a good one.

Not one from
the spanish tv.

[ Speaking spanish ]

Cinco, cinco, cinco,
siete, uno, cinco, cinco.

I got to go, angie.

George, wait.

I love you.

Girl, you better bring me
that money!

I love you, too.
[ Coughs ]

´Sup, homes?

Man, I got
baby-mama drama.

You got a visitor.

What are you doing here,
manny?

I came to talk to you.

I´m sorry I had to
do it this way.

Hey, don´t apologize.

Three square meals
and a roof over my head.

Hey, you´re finally
being a dad.

Look some skinheads
came to my sleepover.

I tried to talk to you
in phoenix,

But I lost my train
of thought

When you punched me
in the face.

Look, save it.
I heard it already.

You didn´t leave me.
You left my mom.

Look, I left
so I could start over.

I told myself you were
better off without me.

But the truth is I thought
I was better off without you.

That´s an awful thing
to think about your son.

It´s easier
not to feel guilty

When you don´t have to
look at the person you hurt.

I´m sorry you never had
a father, george.

Please forgive me
for not being there.

Look...i´d like to be
part of your life.

I´ll be in l.a.
Till tomorrow.

I´m gonna drop
the charges now,

But you won´t be released
until i´m safely in the car.

Okay, lopez,
you´re free to go.

That was fast.

Not you.
Mrs. Lopez.

[ Sighs ]

It´s about time.

I´d call him.

You don´t want unresolved
issues in your life.

Trust me, honey.

[ Intro to w*r´s "low rider"
plays ]

♫ All my friends
know the low rider ♫

♫ The low rider
is a little higher ♫

Angie.

Oh!

I´m so glad you´re home.

Daddy, I was so worried
about you!

Thank god you´re free.

Carmen, I was
so worried about you.

Thank god you´re
still grounded.

What was it like
in there?

Nobody talked to me,
the food sucked,

I was afraid
to go to sleep...

So it was a little better
than my childhood.

Why´d you punch
your dad?

Well, max,
he was bad to me.

So...

I spanked his face.

I don´t understand.

Why would he have you
arrested

And then just drop
the charges?

He wanted to talk to me.

He said
that he was sorry

And that he wants to be
part of my life.

Are you going to
forgive him?

No! No, you know what?
Screw him.

He wrecked you
emotionally,

And I know that´s got
something to do

With how you treat me.

It has to.
It just has to.

Max, give me a minute
with your father, huh?

What are you thinking?

Part of me feels like
it´s way too late to forgive him

After what
he´s put me through,

But I just don´t
want to be angry

For the rest of my life
like my mom.

Well, you tracked him down
for a reason, honey.

What did you want
from him?

My whole life I just
wanted to know him.

That´s all I ever wanted.

Well, this is your chance.

It´s never good to have
unresolved issues, honey.

That´s what the other
mrs. Lopez said.

All right.

You´re probably wondering
what happened yesterday,

So let me try to explain.

Hey, everyone´s scared
of you

Since they heard
you b*at up your dad.

They´re working
real hard.

My old man´s low productivity
disappointed me.

And I don´t like being
disappointed.

Now get back to work!

Vamos!
[ Speaking spanish ]

Hey, jack,
let me explain.

Oh, you don´t have to explain
anything to me, george.

We´ve all taken a good swing
at our fathers.

I took a sh*t at mine once
during a hunting trip.

Just grazed him...

But he knew.

What´d your dad
finally die of?

Fishing accident.

Anyway, george...

I want you
to tell me the truth.

Sure, jack.

Is this some kind
of mid-life crisis

You´re going through
here, bud?

This long hair,

This rebelling against
authority...

...stealing
the president´s speech?

I didn´t take it.

That´s just something I yell
when I see the cops.

We started putting tapes

In the security cameras
last month.

George,
I saw you take it.

I saw you steal the speech
and, off the record,

I saw randy making out
with some little guy

In the storage closet.

Does the secret service
know about that tape?

No.
Phew!

No, I got to it
before they did,

But if you don´t give
that speech back

And cut your hair...

I´m gonna give it
to them.

Jack, y-y-you hate
my hair so much

That you´d turn me in
to the government?

[ Sighs ]

Yeah.

And not just the hair,
george.

Lose the chin badger.

Hey, hey, mom!

Thanks for visiting me
in jail.

Listen, I could not
go down there, unh-unh.

I didn´t want to be framed
for some 30-year-old crime

In el paso that
might´ve been committed

With my fingerprints.

We were on the run
that summer?

There´s no game called
"gas station peel out"!

George...

I hear manny´s still
trying to be daddy.

If you let that dirtbag
back in your life,

It´ll k*ll me.

That´s good to know.

Now I can stop looking
for that silver b*llet.

What´s that card for?

Oh, this?
It´s nothing.

It´s just the number
of a retirement home

For some old bat.

You don´t know her.

Oh, okay, then here.

What´s that?

Punk.

Ha ha!

Manny´s number?
W-w-w-what is this for?

Mom, look, i´m just gonna
call him to say goodbye.

That´s all.
Don´t worry about it.

That´s good.

´Cause if I ever see
that man again,

I´m gonna reach down
his throat,

I´m gonna pull out
his stomach,

I´m gonna stretch it
over his head like a hat,

And then I am gonna sock him
in his stomach-face.

Careful, he might kick you
in your boob-knees.

Manny: hello?

Manny, it´s george.

George,
how are you doing?

[ Sighs ]
i´m fine.

Are you still heading back
to phoenix?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yeah, listen, uh,
i´ve been thinking about this.

Why don´t you come over
for dinner tonight?

Hey.

Did you tell him
about us?

Come on, the man
just got out of jail.

That´s no excuse
in my family.

I´m going in there
and telling him now.

No, no, no,
you´re not.

You´re not gonna make
a scene at work.

Why are you hiding me,
benny?

I don´t get this.

Somebody hit on me
yesterday,

And I need to know --
am I taken or not?

Okay,
i´ll tell you what.

We are gonna go to george´s
house together tonight,

And we´re gonna tell him
everything.

Now...

You tell mama
who hit on you.

What´s that smell?

I´m putting out cheese.

I told you
just because he´s rich,

I don´t want us to pretend
we´re something that we´re not.

Putting out cheese.
Te loca.

[ Doorbell rings ]

I don´t want to
do this.

What?

I changed my mind.
Don´t answer it.

George, we invited him
over here.

What are we gonna do?

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hide!

Honey, if you don´t
want to do this, we won´t.

I will hide behind
this couch with you.

I won´t breathe.

I won´t move a muscle
if that´s what you want.

I love you.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Am I the only one who answers
the door around here?

Max!

I´m getting it!

Hi.

I´m angie.

Welcome to our home.

Manny,
this is my son, max.

Hi, nice to meet you.

Is that for me?

Oh, sorry.
Thanks.

Oh, I get it.

I bet you´re gonna find
a $20 bill in my ear, huh?

Max, manners.
Go get your sister.

Manny,
have a seat, please.

Oh, manny, this is
my daughter, carmen.

So, this is where dad´s
dysfunction comes from.

Yeah, after tonight you might
want to abandon her, too.

It´s okay.

I know this is a difficult
situation,

So everyone should just say
what they´re feeling.

I like bacon,
and I hate bees.

How do you feel about
horses?

I have a stable
full of them.

Maybe you can come out
to my ranch

And ride them sometime.

Okay, easy, seabiscuit.

Let´s take this
one step at a time.

We´ll talk about it
over dinner.

I see you got golf clubs.
Play much?

I get out
once in a while.

Last weekend I was having
the round of my life,

And then I put three sh*ts
in the water on 18.

I put more balls
in the water

Than the men´s olympic
swim team.

George!

Hey, george...

Some idiot parked right in
the middle of your driveway.

Hello, benita.

How the hell could you
let him into your home?

Take it easy, mom.
Relax.

[ Knock on door ]

Randy, what are
you doing here?

I thought you were
gonna wait in the car.

Didn´t seem right.

I should be here
when you tell him.

Tell me what?

Randall´s my lover.

42 And hair.

W-what do you mean,
"lover"?

I didn´t want to say anything
in front of the kids, but...

What this man does is better
and longer than that man.

I know you´re not happy
about this, george,

But I take care
of your mom.

This is why we hide.

I thought I told you

I didn´t want you dating
somebody from work.

Yeah, and I told you
not to forgive this jackass!

Benita, i´m not here
to fight.

I´m just here to make things
right with my son.

Your son?

W-where were you
when he woke up crying

In the middle
of the night, huh?

Where were you
when he fell off his bike

And needed somebody
to kiss his boo-boo?

Where were you
all those times

When he needed love
and encouragement, huh?

Where were you?

Maybe I should go.
I should.

You´re staying.
I invited you.

No, no, no,
let him go.

I want my grandkids to see him
walk out the door

The way he walked out
on us.

Okay, kids, upstairs.
You, outside.

Fine.
Come on, randy.

No, randy stays here.

[ Speaking spanish ]

You told me that you were
calling him to say goodbye.

You lied to me.
What else don´t I know?

You want to know?
Yeah.

When you die you´re being
cremated at the park.

And i´m gonna do it myself.

There, you know everything.

George...

How can you betray me
like this?

I hate that man.

Look, mom, so did i,
but i´m sick of it.

Look, i´m gonna give him
a chance.

George, george...

He´s responsible
for all of our problems.

He´s the reason that you can´t
handle me dating randy.

What are you
talking about?

You´ve done this
since you were a kid.

You don´t want to share
your mommy.

All those men
who would call the house,

And you never gave me
any of the messages,

And then you would tell me
how mean they were to you

When I wasn´t looking.

After a while
it got to be such a hassle,

I just stopped dating.

Really, mom, y-you gave up
your love life for me?

No, I just stopped dating.

My love life went on

Behind your back
in the garage.

George, don´t you see?

You didn´t want me
to date

Because you were afraid
of losing another parent

Because he left us,

And now you want him
back in your life.

How can you do this
to me?

Mom, i´m not
doing this to you.

I´m doing it for me.

Look, whether
you like it or not...

He´s the only dad
I got.

Fine.

I can´t stop you.

And I can´t stop you
from seeing randy.

But if you´re gonna do this,
I should warn you --

There´s a tape
of him making out

With a little guy
in the storage closet.

We can go now.

George, you cool with
what we got here?

You better not hurt
my son again.

It would be a real shame

If all of your horses d*ed
in a barn fire

And then you d*ed
in a house fire,

Knowing right before you

All of your horses had
just d*ed in a barn fire.

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughs ]

Do you want to try this
another time?

No, man, let´s just
finish eating.

What´s that smell?

I´m putting out cheese.

Putting out cheese?

Angie, I told you just
because he´s rich,

Let´s not try to pretend
we´re something that we´re...

[ Doorbell rings ]

Am I the only one who gets
the door around here?

Max!

[ Laughs ]