03x18 - Jason Tutors Max

[bunniefuu]

All right, let´s try
the problem again.

But I don´t get it!

They don´t even
look like numbers.

This is all mixed up!
I hate dyslexia!

Honey, when you mix up numbers,
it´s called "dyscalculia."

Mom, my eyes are tired.

Okay, let me help,
okay?

I went through
the same thing.

It´s not that hard.

Okay, max, 1-5 is 15...

And .00 is
the hundredths.

Hello?

And percents, right?

Percents mean --
means the hundredths.

So...

So .15 is 15 per--

Is 15 percent of --

My eyes are tired!

See?

Max, your eyes were tired
when we started.

All right, let´s just
take a break, huh?

Relax, okay?
Math takes time.

George, the state proficiency
test is only three weeks away.

He doesn´t have time.

Well, then,
what are we gonna do?

Because I don´t understand it,
you can´t explain it.

It´s like the first night
of our honeymoon.

It´s not just math.

It´s all the subjects.
He´s not getting it.

So what happens if he
fails the proficiency test?

He gets held back.

Oh, you people
and your education.

"Everybody´s
got to go to college."

Pizzas don´t
deliver themselves.

Okay.

We´re gonna do something for max
that my mother never did for me.

You´re gonna
breast-feed him?

We´re gonna go outside the
family and get somebody to help.

We´re gonna get him
a tutor.

You don´t need
a tutor!

You know,
having a dumb kid...

Nothing to be ashamed of --
I wasn´t.

[ Intro to w*r´s "low rider"
plays ]

♫ All my friends
know the low rider ♫

Is that the new tutor?

Yep. Number five.

Looks like we finally
got a good one.

He´s paying attention.
Mmm.

Okay, sweetie,
let´s try it this way.

"X" is my secret,

And you want to figure
my secret out.

So i´m gonna
give you a clue.

2 Times "x" equals...

Oh, I just got a chill.

Max,
you´re not concentrating.

You know, when I make
my parents mad, they tickle me.

Max...

Max...
[ Chuckles ]

Wow.

You know,

I read that women that are that
beautiful don´t have boyfriends

´Cause guys are too intimated
to come up and talk to them.

Huh.

Well, add me
to the list, man!

He´s only paying attention
because she´s so pretty.

Well, sometimes you need
an attractive woman

To get a man´s attention.

You know
what i´m talking about --

That short skirt you wear

When you want me to see
a jude law movie.

Okay, i´ll explain
why we can´t be together

In mathematical terms.

You´re 11, and i´m 22.

So when you´re 18,
i´ll be...

It doesn´t matter.
I´ll be 18.

I think we´re done
with this.

Hi.

I´m sorry, I don´t think
i´m getting through to max.

I seem to have a tough time
with the boys...

And this one girl
who looks like clay aiken

Who just stares at me
and bites her lip.

Well, we appreciate
your effort, ashley.

How much do we owe you?

Well, it´s $30
for the hour

And, let´s just say,
$2 for my scrunchie.

Oh...

Thanks.

Bye.
Bye.

Max, what happened?

I´ll tell you
what happened.

Another lousy tutor!

Max, finish your math
in the backyard.

Ah, you can play
with the scrunchie

When you´re done
with your homework.

I want her smell,
not yours.

What are you doing?

I´m gonna find
another tutor.

George, this isn´t working,
and it´s not the tutors.

They´ve helped
other dyslexic kids.

It´s max.

No, it´s not.

Look, maybe he´s not mature
enough to take this seriously.

I think it would be
good for him

To spend another year
in the fifth grade to grow up.

No way!

Look, this isn´t about
maturity, angie.

You never had
a learning disability.

There´s got to be somebody
out there who can help him.

The test
is two weeks away.

He´s not gonna get algebra
in two weeks.

Angie...

[ Squealing voice ]
I got this!

I will find a better tutor --
somebody old school with the --

♫ Whoop-di-whoop ♫

"Old teacher willing
to discipline young student."

Huh? How about that?
Oh.

Ohh.

Hey, guys.

Jason walked me home.

Is it okay
if he stays for dinner?

Sure, but I thought
you were mad at him

For not spending
enough time with you.

Yeah, but I made him promise not
to take on any more activities.

I´m his priority.

Now, did he say that,

Or did you say that,
and he just said,

"Uh-huh...

"Uh-huh...

Uh-huh"?

So you having trouble
with this, buddy?

Yeah.

Yeah, my brother had trouble
with algebra, too.

So we came up
with a little rhyme.

"Algebra´s crap.

"It´s a waste of gas.

"See your teacher sittin´
on her big fat...

"Ask me how to do it,
and i´ll tell you, brother.

"Just do to one side
what you do to the other.

"Take the bottom number.
You multiply.

You see what i´m doin´?
And i´m not high."

Do to one side
what you do to the other.

"X" equals 8?

That´s it.

I got one!
I got one right!

Mom, dad,
I solved a problem.

Jason showed me
how to do it.

Really?

Can you tutor him?

Dad!

Fifteen bucks an hour.

But you guys
paid ashley $30.

Quiet! You don´t know math!
Get over here.

I guess I can
find the time.

No!

Jason, you said you wouldn´t
take on any more activities.

I can do it
in a half-hour a day,

And we´ll see
each other more.

Come on, your little brother
needs help in math.

Fine.

But max won´t need to know math
for his job, anyway.

When someone
orders a hamburger,

He´ll just press
the hamburger picture!

Did you hear that,
buddy?

She put you right up front,
at the register!

Somebody believes in you,
mi hijo.

What´s the matter,
max?

We got the grades back
on our practice tests,

And I need them signed.

Oh, honey,
we know you tried hard,

And that´s the most
important thing.

Save that for the losers
who suck in every subject.

I got a "b" in math!

"D" minus.

"D" minus.

"D" minus.

"B"!

[ Gasps ]
this is amazing!

George: yes!

Now I know what
a korean father feels like!

Way to go, max.

Look, jason,
you helped max in math,

But he´s suckin´
in all his other subjects.

If you could tutor him
in all those other subjects,

He might make it
to the sixth grade.

Then, one day when you´re
running for president,

You can say that you helped
a little brown boy.

Dad, what are you doing?

Carmen,
let him answer.

Jason,
help the little brown boy.

All right, i´ll help.
Oh, my god!

I better go
talk to her.

Oh, hey,
just a little advice.

Before she cries,
you cry.

Then say, "i´m sorry.

I don´t deserve
to talk to you right now."

Then run and wipe your eyes
like that.

Carmen...

How can you do
more tutoring?

You´ve already got
like a million activities.

Basketball, debate,
student council...

And everything
is more important than me.

It´s not more important
than you.

I just need all that stuff
for my transcript.

Oh, okay, well,
i´m sorry our relationship

Can´t get you
to a better college.

Maybe you don´t have time
for a girlfriend.

Yeah, maybe I don´t.
[ Gasps ]

Look at them
fighting out there.

This is your fault.

Once he cries and runs,
it will be fine.

That doesn´t even work
when you do it.

[ Sniffs ] I know.

I don´t deserve to talk
to you right now.

I´m gonna go play golf.

I don´t think so.

Everything okay, honey?
No!

No -- thanks to you,
jason and I just broke up.

I don´t ever want to see him
in this house again.

Okay,
i´ll take care of this.

Oh, jason, hold up man.
You can´t do this.

Look, mr. Lopez,

I´m sorry it didn´t work out
between me and carmen.

Okay, so am i.

Okay, carmen is one
of the sweetest,

Most wonderful girls
in the world,

And she doesn´t deserve
any of this.

But i´m talkin´ about max.

I don´t want him to fail, but
carmen´s not gonna want me here.

Look, i´ll get my daughter
through this, okay?

You just keep
helping my boy.

I guess,
but it´s gonna be awkward.

Not as awkward as dropping off
a 21-year-old kid

At the fifth grade!

"Good luck, max.

Your mom packed you some pudding
and a 40-ounce."

[ Knock on door ]

How you doing,
sweetheart?

I feel like jason
ripped out my heart

And stomped on it
right in front of me.

I´m sorry, honey.

You know what you could do
to get your mind off jason?

Volunteer.

Join some clubs, carmen.

I mean, anything
to get out of the house...

Between 4:00 and 6:00 monday,
wednesday, and friday,

When jason will be
tutoring max.

Okay, pizza´s on me.
Chin up!

What did you do?

Look, I had to ask jason
to keep tutoring max, okay?

I had no choice.
No!

Jason can´t come back here.

All right.

I know jason is helping max,
but carmen is hurting.

Why can´t max study
at jason´s house?

Who´s gonna take him?
You work, and I work.

Why do we have to get involved
with jason at all?

God, nobody in this house
cares how I feel!

Where´s she going?
We´re in her room.

Get out of my room.

Look, I know you hate me
right now.

Okay, but I just want to say
before I leave...

Are you in on this pizza
or what?

Mom, dad, this is
my new lab partner, brad.

Hi.
Nice to meet you guys.

It´s kind of
a funny story how --

Shut up, brad.
Okay.

We´re gonna do homework.

Oh, just so you know, max is
studying outside with his tutor.

[ Chuckles ] please.
I am so over that.

See, angie?

She´s moved on.

You can tell me
i´m right now.

We both love the kids.

It´s not a competition...

Said the loser.

We´re on the same team...

Said the loser!

[ Moans ]

Said the guy with the pillow
over his head.

Said the loser!

Hi.

Oh, hey.

Uh, you know brad,
right?

Uh, yeah,
you look familiar.

Yeah, I play clarinet
in the band.

Remember -- remember at
homecoming when you guys,

You, like, ran off
onto the field,

And you knocked me over, and you
were, like, "oh, sorry, dude."

And I was, like,
"oh, no, it´s cool."

And, like, it might --
it might --

It might have looked like
back then that I was crying,

But I wasn´t --
I just have allergies.

It´s good to know.

Don´t mind us, we´re just gonna
do some studying, too.

Come on.

Oh, why don´t we start
with chemistry?

Because you and I
have such great chemistry.

Brad: oh, well,

You and I are both comprised
of hydrogen and carbon,

So I guess we do have
a lot in common.

You´re so smart!

Oh, that´s it.
Hey!

[ Laughing ] stop it!
Said the loser!

Mom, dad, carmen´s kissing
the weird clarinet boy.

What?

She´s trying to get
jason to leave.

What´s the matter
with her?

Why would brad being here
bother you, huh?

I´m not your girlfriend
anymore.

It bothers me
because we just broke up.

Why would you
want to hurt me?

Well, if you´re hurt,
then you should leave.

I think what she´s trying to say
is that she´s with me now.

Shut up, helmet hair.

Okay,
you don´t want me here?

No.
Fine.

I´m leaving.
Good.

Oh, jason, jason,
where you going?

I´m sorry, mr. Lopez, i´ll
help you find another tutor,

But I can´t be here
right now.

You ruined it!

You just couldn´t handle
the fact that he´s mine now!

What are you doing?

Trying to get the taste of
brad´s tongue out of my mouth.

Look, we need to talk.

You can begin with the "max
is more important" speech now.

Look, max is more important
at this moment, carmen.

Okay, and there´s times that
you´re more important than max.

Look, it´s not easy,
but sometimes your mother and I

Have to do things that aren´t
good for everybody.

Name one time you did
something that was good
for me and bad for max?

You want to know?
Okay, i´ll tell you.

Carmen, your private school
costs so much

That max isn´t gonna
get a new bike,

He´s not getting a computer,
and he´s never getting braces.

I didn´t realize
he was giving all that up.

Well, neither does he,
so don´t say nothing.

You don´t understand.

I still love jason.

Love...[ Sighs ]

Carmen, you´re not allowed
to use that word.

Carmen, you´re 15.

Juliet was 15,
and she d*ed for her love.

Well, that´s why we send you
to private school --

To keep you away
from girls like that!

Why do I even bother?

Look, you´re not gonna
want to hear this,

But i´m gonna
say it anyways.

You just had
a high-school breakup.

And months from now,
you´ll forget about him,

And you´ll move on.

But max isn´t gonna move on
unless he gets help from jason.

So jason has to come back here
and tutor him, okay,

So go ahead and yell.

No.

I´ll go over to jason´s house
tomorrow

And get him to come back.

Oh, thank you.

So, you promise me max will
never get to wear braces?

Not as long as i´m alive.

[ Giggles ]

No braces, no fillings,
no vaccinations whatsoever.

Didn´t he already get those?

Shh!

Did I get my vaccinations?

Of course you did, carmen,
because we love you.

Carmen: yee haw!
Giddy-up!

Whoa!

[ Giggles ]

We´re back together.

Uh...

I got some sugar cubes
in my pocket, horsey.

I think he´d rather be glue
there, seabiscuit.

I think i´m gonna help max
with his homework.

So...

You talked it out and both
found a way to compromise?

No, he said he really liked my
sweater, and we started kissing.

[ Knock on door ]

Coming.

Hello, max.

I´m so sorry to hear about
the terrible accident

That k*lled your parents
and your grandma.

And my sister.

And your sister.

But...i´m here
to take care of you.

Of course, we´ll have
to pull you out of school

So you´ll have more time for
video games and skateboarding.

Really?
Yes.

I´ll raise you
as my child

Until you´re old enough
to be...my husband.

George: max!

I crawled out
of the wreckage.

Just so I could
take care of you.

My son, max.

Noooooo!

Another ashley dream?

Yeah.