03x22 - Dance Fever

Episode transcripts for the TV show "George Lopez". Aired: March 27, 2002 - May 8, 2007.*
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Assembly-line worker and family man George is promoted to manage an airplane parts factory in L.A.
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03x22 - Dance Fever

Post by bunniefuu »

George, sign these.

What is it?

We need two weeks off
for our honeymoon.

I can´t believe i´m actually
gonna be married to this lady!

I get to go to bed with her,
wake up with her,

Have dinner with her...

Go to bed with her,
wake up with her,

Have dinner with her.

Yeah, you get to clip her nails,
brush her coat,

And hide her pills
in peanut butter.

I want everybody
on the floor right away,

Especially you, george.

Hey, what´s that about?

I don´t know.

Did you put
the drill back?

All right, listen up, everybody,
this is important.

George has done something,

And I don´t want it
to go unnoticed.

Okay, I wasn´t sick.

Jack, it was opening day,
all right?

I did have a fever, man,

I just didn´t say
that it was dodger fever.

That´s not it, george,

Although you did just
lose a personal day.

I will make this
announcement.

I´d like to introduce
somebody you all know,

Angie lopez.

[ Cheers and applause ]

What´s going on?

You´ll see.

I am pleased to announce
that the southern california

Minorities in business
association

Has named our very own
george lopez

As the recipient
of its rising star award.

Ernie: yeah,
all right, george!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Congratulations, honey.

Wow!

"In recognition
of excellence in management."

I-i´ve never won anything
before.

Angie: that´s not true.

You won my heart.

All: aw!

Why you gotta do that
where I work? Watch out.

George,
you deserve this award.

I nominated you
because, well,

You keep this place
running smooth,

And you got us through
the shutdown this year.

When we go up
for government contracts,

This minority award will help us
play the race card, amigo.

Jack, hey,
remember the rule?

You don´t call me amigo,

And you don´t
high-five jermaine.

My bad.

Anyway, after the presentation
on saturday,

I´m throwing a big reception
at thirsty´s.

Yeah! All right!

All right, time to celebrate
with a toast!

All: yeah!

Who wants sparkling cider?

All: ahh...

Oh, come on!
You guys build planes!

Ernie:
way to go, george.

Yeah, congratulations,
george.
Thanks, randy.

I´m so proud of you,
honey.

So, benny,
what do you think?

Your son is outstanding minority
businessman of the year.

Yeah.

You know, someday,

He´ll be good enough
to win a white guy´s award.

And to my mother.

I wish she´d lived
to see this day,

But I know she´s down there
right now, looking up at me.

And she´s saying,
"ohh! My flesh is burning! Ay!"

[ Intro to w*r´s "low rider"
plays ]

♫ All my friends
know the low rider ♫

♫ The low rider
is a little higher ♫

Ooh, can I have
the rest of the frosting?

No, max, it´s for the great
american bake sale.

We´re raising money
for hungry children.

Did you know that one
out of every four persons

Standing in a soup-kitchen line
is a child?

Did you know

That one out of every
two people in this kitchen

Doesn´t care
and just wants frosting?

Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

You can´t hit me hard enough
to stop me.

Ow!

I´m full.

Hey.

Congratulations!
Thank you.

Hey, oh,
check out that banner.

I made it for you on the
computer in special-ed class.

Yeah, "congradulashuns."

How does this kid
find his way home?

So, did everyone
go crazy at work?

Not everybody.

Come on, angie,
let it go.
Oh, come on.

Why can´t your own mother --
one time --

Compliment you
when you do something good?

Why start now?

She´s never given me
credit for anything.

In little league,
when I hit my first home run,

She said, "that´s great.
Babe ruth hit 714 of them."

Wow. 714?

That´s a lot!

It was my first home run!

And babe ruth never faced
a 19-year-old dominican

Who said he was 12.

Angie,
he drove to the game!

Okay, kids, that´s your
ride to the movies.

Call when you´re ready
to be picked up, huh?

Okay.

Look, you might be used to
your mother´s attitude,

But i´m not.

This is a big award.

You are the rising star

Among all the other
minorities in l.a.,

And that includes asians.

Look...

I don´t need her approval to
feel good about myself, okay?

If it doesn´t bother me,
then why does it bother you?

Well, I just think it´s
a cycle that should be broken.

As a child,
benny was never praised,

So she didn´t learn
how to praise you,

And that´s why it´s hard for you
to praise the kids.

Look,
I praise the kids, okay?

The other day,

I bet max he couldn´t
run to the kitchen

And get me a beer in 15 seconds,
and when it took him 17,

I still said,
"nice job, son!

Don´t worry -- you´ll get
another chance at half time."

Angie,
i´m over it, okay?

It doesn´t bother me,

Because my mom cannot
compliment anyone, okay?

She´s not capable of it.

You´re right.

I´m letting your mother
ruin the celebration,

And she´s not even here.

So, why don´t you
come on outside?

I want to give you
your surprise.

What is it?

You´ll see.
All right.

[ Whistles ]

Lie down.

I didn´t take a shower,
angie.

Do it.

All right.

Unh, unh, unh.

On your back.

[ Chuckles ]

I believe somebody ordered
a george, sunny side up.

Now...

I figured,

Since you are
a rising star...

[ Chuckles ]

...that I should buy you a star
and name it after you.

That´s right --
you can buy me,

You can name me,
but you can´t tame me!

That´s what i´m talking --
w-what -- star what?

I went online,
and I bought you a star!

I think it´s, um...
Right...

[ Gasps ] there!

Which one?!

Right there!

Feast your eyes on
xp-375j-lopez!

Make a wish.

Okay...

But i´d like to feast
my eyes on 36c-lopez.

[ Laughs ]

Thanks, honey,
but, um,

I´m actually a 34b.

You said,
"make a wish."

Ernie: hey, there he is!
It´s george!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Wow, this is
the best night ever.

All right, brother,
congratulations!

Look, angie, he´s all sweaty,
he´s out of breath,

Looks like
he´s gonna throw up.

Somebody´s ready
to ask a girl out!

[ Laughs ] [ laughs ]

No, i´m all sweaty ´cause
they put in this new game.

It´s called
"pump it up."

It´s got these arrows
and these lights,

And you gotta step where
it tells you to, like this.

[ Humming techno music ]

Wow!

While you were describing it,
it sounded stupid,

But now...

Huh?

Listen up, everybody,
I want to propose a toast.

17 Years ago,
I took a chance on this guy.

And no matter what the job,

He proved himself
time and time again.

Wow, thanks, jack.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Oh, sure, i´ve made a lot
of bad decisions in my life,

Like not moving
the entire plant to china.

But, then, i´d be giving
this speech in cantonese.

Of course, it´d be
to a bunch of peasants

Who make 10 cents an hour.

"You want a 10% raise?
No problem!

Here´s a penny."

Oh, well, the one choice
I never regretted

Was hiring george lopez.

Wow, thanks, jack.
That was beautiful.

Speech! Speech!

Say something.

You know, I wouldn´t be
holding this award today

If it weren´t
for one special person,

Somebody who i´ve never
really taken the time

To thank publicly.

Oh, honey!

Not you.

Me!

I worked hard
for this award, angie!

Give it up for me!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Thank you.

Benny...

You missed a wonderful awards
banquet honoring your son.

Yeah.

Who parked your car tonight --
last year´s winner?

I got it, babe,
I got the job!

For reals? Oh!

Randy,
what´s going on?

Oh, uh...

Well, i´m sorry to have
to give you my notice, george,

But I got a job

Managing an office-supply
warehouse in torrance!

Congratulations, baby!

Hey, everybody,
a toast to my man, randy!

He just made manager!

[ All cheering ]

I am so proud of you.

After all these years,

My mom still finds a way
to make me feel horrible.

How can something so small
be so evil?

It´s like they drained
all the water out

And made pure,
concentrated evil --

You know, like for campers
or something.

Why do I let her
get to me, angie?

I´m a grown man, right?
Yes.

This is my night!
Your night.

My night!
Yes.

Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!

Randy! Randy!
Randy! Randy! Randy! Randy!

My man´s gonna do it!

He´s gonna
break the record!

[ All cheering ]

All: aw!

Give me 50 cents,
babe!

Angie,
give me 50 cents.

What are you doing?
You can´t dance.

50 Cents, woman!

Here we go, baby!

[ All cheering ]

Go, george!
It´s not a competition.

Come on, randy!

Come on, george!

Go, honey.

Hit it, george!

Hit it, honey!
Work it!

That´s it, hit it!

Hit it, honey!
Work it!

All right!
All right!

[ All cheering ]

Hit it!

Player 2,
you have the high score.

Yeah!

How about that?!

Are you proud of me now,
mom?!

Did I finally do something
good enough for you?!

Did you see me, angie?!

I´m better than u-p-2,
than i-p-2,

Than a-s-s, and s-u-k!

Who did that?

Randy: i´ll leave you two
alone to talk.

George...

You might´ve won the battle,
but you didn´t win the w*r.

I´ll see you at...

Regionals!

What the hell
was all that at the bar?

Mom, do you know
you´re the only one

That didn´t congratulate me
when I won that award?

Oh, here we go again.

Whoopee. Your mommy´s
so happy for you.

You´re such a baby,
george.

Why can´t you
let me have this?
Why do you need it?

I don´t, all right?

I just thought it would
be nice if my own mother

Was proud of me
for one thing.

I worked my way up
to manager at the factory, mom.

In 15 short years.

Well,
what about the house?

Oh-ho!
You make payments.

What about my kids?

All we know for sure
is angie gave birth twice.

Everything else
is speculation.

So there isn´t one thing you
ever thought that I was good at?

Well, I don´t know
about that.

I thought you were
pretty good on the guitar.

What? You never thought
I was any good at the guitar.

Yes, I did.

I used to tell marlene sanchez
all the time.

You told marlene sanchez?
You liar!

Uh-huh.

I´m gonna call her
right now.
Go call her right now.

You don´t think I will?
I want to see you do it
right now.

Pick up the phone.

Sanchez...here we go.

In san fernando.

"Maria...maria...maria...

Maria...maria...

Maria...maria...

Marlene."

There you go.

Hey, mr. Sanchez?

Hey, it´s george lopez.

Remember, I used
to live down the block?

You ´member. ´Member?

With the head --
that one.

Hey, is marlene there?

Oh, my god, i´m sorry.
I didn´t know.

Hey, man,
before she slipped away,

Did she mention
that I was good at guitar?

Hello?

Marlene´s gone,
and so am i.

Oh, no, you´re not
going anywhere

Until you say something
nice about my life.

George, don´t be stupid.

Mom, I can wait --
you, on the other hand,

Need a smoke
in about three minutes.

I´m not gonna do it.

Would it k*ll you to say
something nice about me?

No!

Say something nice.
No!

Say it!
No!

Why not?!

Because if I do,
it´ll go away!

What are you talking about,
you crazy, old bat?

You are not supposed
to brag about things.

If you do, the evil eye
will take it away.

You know -- mal de ojo.

Okay,
let´s try this again.

What are you talking about,
you crazy, old bat?

I am not crazy.

Why do you think
I rubbed pee on your face

When you were a baby?!

Mom, that´s unsanitary!

You know, your aunts kept saying
how cute you were,

And so I had to go

And get some ugly
to rub on your face,

You know, so that the evil eye
would pass over you.

So I took a little pee
from the diaper --

That was the ugly --

You know, now that
I look back at it,

I probably put
a little too much on.

Now that you say it like that,
it makes perfect sense.

I better go wake up
my adorable son

And smear him
with his own waste!

You know, to protect him
from the evil eye.

Shut up, george,
shut up!

Shh!

It can hear you.

With what, mom --
its evil ears?

You don´t get it,
do you?

Almost everything good
in my life´s been taken away.

You don´t play
with this.

That´s why you don´t
compliment me?

Wait a second -- then why
were you complimenting randy?

If something happens
to randy, that´s bad.

If something
happens to you...

Thank you.
That´s all I ever wanted.

You know what?

You´re really
a good mom.

Come and get her, eye.

You´re a good person,
and you should live forever.

Come on, eye!

We´re going
into the backyard!

Vamanos, eye,
let´s go!

She´s going
to the fence!

Hey.
What´s up, dad?

I wanted to stop by and see
if anything happened today

You want to tell me about,
something I might be proud of.

Not really.

Come on, max,
there has to be something.

What do you got there?
Book report.

Oh, hey, how´d you do?

D-minus.

Well, how about soccer?

We lost, 8-0.

Mercy rule
after first quarter.

D-did anything
happen today, max?

Even the tiniest
accomplishment?

Come on, man,
work with me!

Oh, okay.

Well, I was laughing
so hard in math class

That I got a fly
caught in my mouth.

And I kept it in there
for a whole minute!

My son...

I´m so proud of you.
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