02x18 - Sick, Sick, Sick

[bunniefuu]

QAF

You're back.

You noticed.

What's that?

Oh, it's momo.

Tibetan for dumpling, dumpling.

Oh, it's... it's spicy.

Oh-Ho, come on, you sissy.

My western pennsylvania taste buds aren't used to... far eastern cuisine.

Well, it is good for you.

Makes you sweat. Gets all the toxins out.

Mmmm. I can think of... other ways i'd rather sweat.

Mmm. Hmmmm.

Now see, it's too hot for you now.

No, no, the kiss was fine.

Ben?

Jeez, maybe... maybe it is a little too spicy.

I was... wait, you don't double over from a dumpling.

No, no, no, it's just... forget it, it's nothing.

Ha-A-A-Ah.

See? There.

It's all better.

Well, maybe you should eat something a little less exotic.

Oh, please, the monks in the monasteries have been eating it for centuries.

You're not a monk. I can vouch for that.

No, but i would like to live there someday.

What? You don't get enough hot male action here?

You know what i mean; study buddhism, meditate.

Yeah. Send me a postcard.

Are you ready?

Yeah, i just gotta do one thing.

Hi, pasquale's?

Yeah, i'd like a large pepperoni, Double cheese... and thank you very much.

George left the money to me, In my name, in my account.

How can they just take it away?

Having looked at the judge's temporary injunction, It is my considered opinion that... you're screwed.

Ex...cuse me?

It's just one of those vague legal terms That lawyers use to cover their asses.

What exactly do you mean by screwed?

Uh, permit me to clarify. "f*cked".

The schickel family attorneys Are going to do everything in their power to prove that you Manipulated george into giving you that money.

That's not true.

Honey, the truth has as much to do with law As gay men have to do with lesbians.

Present company excepted, of course.

They're going to say you orchestrated the whole thing.

Emmett can't play "mary had a little lamb" on a kazoo.

How's he going to orchestrate finagling george out of millions?

By playing upon the diminished capacities of a lonely old man.

So what are you saying? He should just give up, Forget about the money? f*ck that!

Th-That , , belonged to emmett.

A-And what about the gifts i bought you?

Your car, your seats at the opera, Your... diamond bracelet?

They'll have to cut off my arm first.

I'm sure they'd be delighted, And then send you the bill.

"Frawley's open fire". I-I... you know, i thought we were going for the high-End accounts.

This isn't even low-End, it's back-End.

They've got , steak houses

Throughout the midwest and the south.

Yeah, what about this name, "open fire"?

What do you do? sh**t the cow, then eat it?

They are trying To change their image.

Ah. How about this?

"Go out of business."

Well, we don't tell potential clients To take a hike. Hmm, not in this market.

And not with what you're making... Partner. Huh.

How long do i have?

Ah-H, tomorrow. What?

Come on, you can do it.

You're the miracle worker.

This will take more than a miracle.

It'll take divine intervention.

Every night i would go back to the room, Hoping that he'd surprise me and show up.

He never did. He never even called.

He must have been pissed. I mean... just taking off like that.

You didn't even tell him you were going.

I never said i wasn't going.

He's the one that cancelled on me.

Now you know how our moms feel When our dads call from the office;

"Oh, sorry, honey, can't make it."

I'm not some goddamned housewife.

That guy's pretty good.

Yeah, he goes to my school.

I saw him play once.

Thank you.

His eyes. Wow!

Anyways, gotta go to biology.

Very good.

Bravo!

"Le tambourin chinois"

For solo violin, Considered by many to be one of the most beautiful pieces Ever written for the strings.

Thank you.

Why are you playing it on a street corner?

I need the cash.

There's gotta be an easier way.

Well, yeah, i guess i could always be a go-Go boy.

I wouldn't recommend that.

Then i'll stick to the fiddle.

You are pretty good.

Pretty good?

I'm a genius.

You're also not very modest.

Well, they've only been telling me that Since i was six, so, uh... sooner or later, i was bound to believe it. bucks. Not too bad.

You know, considering it's not really me playing.

It comes through me, From someplace else.

It's amazing that you said that.

When i draw, it feels the same way.

Hey, check it out.

The garbage truck?

No, no, no, the couch.

It's a piece of sh*t.

Yeah?

Well, one man's piece of sh*t Is another man's living room.

Come on.

Hey!

Hey, guys with the couch?

Hey, listen... tony, these guys wanna buy this... let me take this couch off your hands, huh? How about it?

Thanks.

You live close? -Yeah.

Did you receive my little gift?

You always say, "f*ck 'em all."

Well, to do that, you've got to have "f*ck 'em all" money.

Very interesting video.

I'd give it four stars.

Good camera work.

Excellent sound quality.

However, I didn't find mr. Schickel's performance Particularly convincing.

Performance?

George meant every word he said.

Every word he was told to say.

George schickel was not coerced into making this tape.

It's quite clear he was of sound mind.

And sound body too.

What's clear Is that george schickel was a confused And lonely old man Who was seduced by the sexual advances

Of an ambitious young hustler He met on a p*rn site.

Hey, i loved george.

And he loved me.

Then why did you persuade him to take you On a round-The-World tour Knowing it would endanger his health?

I d... i didn't force... he's the one who wanted to go.

But, before you left, you convinced him To deposit $ , , into your bank account,

In case something should happen?

Do you really believe a judge and jury Will think otherwise once they view this?

I can't answer that, Since i don't plan on presenting it as court evidence.

I intend to release it to the press.

So that people will see that mr. Honeycutt Is being denied the recognition and the legacy Of a legitimate, loving relationship.

But, whatever the outcome, Once the public takes a look at this... they'll never think of a schickel's pickle

In the same way again.

Walter horatio pater, The english essayist and critic, Was perhaps the most influential proponent of victorian aestheticism.

That's the philosophy that teaches "art for art's sake".

Now, he believed that pleasure derived from beauty Is the highest ideal to which man can aspire.

Now his most famous disciple was oscar wilde...

Mr... mr. Bruckner, Are you all right?

Mmm. Really, i'm fine.

Thank you.

Okay, uh... wilde chose to pursue passion, to... seize the moment without regard to consequence.

"To burn always with this gem-Like flame, To maintain this ecstasy..."

Mr. Bruckner... Mr. Bruckner, are you okay?

Somebody get a doctor.

Get a doctor!

Why didn't you tell me You lived on the top floor?

Well, if i had, You would not have helped me. Yeah.

This is a really cool place. Thanks. Um...

i found practically everything in it on the street, Including wolfram.

Wolfram?

Is he your boyfriend?

Yeah. You want to meet him?

Yeah.

Say hello to wolfram von eschenbach.

Oh-Ho. Oh, really.

Wolfram.

He's considered by many to be germany's greatest poet.

That's an awfully fancy name For a p*ssy.

Wagner used his most famous epic "parzival" As the basis for his opera.

Oh-H...

i wish i had a cat like you.

So get one.

Yeah.

My boyfriend would have a sh*t-Fit.

Mmm, the one who doesn't believe in birthdays?

He's got an amazing loft, Right out of "architectural digest".

Everything in it is italian.

It costs a fortune.

Obviously he's not on scholarship.

No, he's .

He's got a great job.

Oh-Ho. An older man.

Hmm. Better not let him hear you say that.

So you guys live together?

Yeah.

Well, lucky him.

He's got a great job, A great place full of... beautiful things.

You...

I should go. I have a class.

All right.

Yeah, I have to, uh...

I have to practice, practice, practice.

All right.

But thanks for helping me out.

I'll... I'll... I'll see you around?

Uh... I have some stuff in the student art fair. If... you have time.

Okay.

He said i was nothing more than a hustler, A tramp.

Those lying sons of b*tches.

You're an award winner.

Well, not to worry. If anybody can chew their balls off And spit them out, it's melanie.

She, uh, she told them She's going to release george's video to the press.

Brilliant.

Well, that should create quite a scandal.

A scandal?

Yeah. I mean, you think a multi-Billion dollar company Like schickel's pickles wants every guy Who buys a frank with relish at a baseball game,

Every kid at a picnic, Every pregnant woman with a sudden craving Knowing about you and george?

That money is practically yours.

I say we go get some dinner... celebrate.

Yeah. As soon as Ben gets here.

Hello?

Yes.

Do you really think it's going to be okay? Yeah.

Hmm. Yeah. Let's go.

Yeah, I'll be... I'll be right there.

So, what you in the mood for? Steak or lobster?

Michael?

You're home late.

I got a new account.

That's nice.

How was your day, Justin?

f*cking one day... to do a presentation.

It was not bad. Thanks for asking.

How was yours?

Whole lot better now that I'm with you.

A f*cking steak house.

And i'm supposed to be brilliant.

Did you miss me?

Every minute you were away.

You're all i thought about.

Please never leave me again.

Who the f*ck are you talking to?

No one. And... what's with the little voice?

Are you... planning... to become a ventriloquist?

It's one way to hear what you want. Hmmm.

So how was your trip?

Not much fun without you.

Why didn't you tell me you were going?

I didn't think you'd care.

There were things I had to do.

Did you miss me?

Ben, you okay?

What's wrong with him, doctor?

Acute pancreatitis.

Probably has to do with his hiv regimen.

W-Well, his viral load was up and his... his t-Cells were down.

That's why his doctor changed his medication.

Well, he appears to have had a near fatal reaction.

Well, is he going to be okay?

It depends if we can get his enzyme elevation back down.

Right now it's extremely high.

Well, how long before you know?

The next couple of days are going to be critical.

We'll keep him on i.V., normal saline And off his meds. We'll see how he does.

Thanks, doctor. Um... is there any way i could stay with him tonight?

Are you a family member?

I'm his lover.

I'll have an attendant bring you a blanket and a pillow.

Thank you.

Okay, i'll, uh, i'll make his meals.

Since when do you know how to cook?

Uh, we'll make the meals.

With everything going on at your house?

What? With the renovations and all.

Look, i'll just order the meals.

Uh, then, um, i'll look, uh, after the shop.

You don't know anything about comic books.

I'm familiar with practically his entire inventory.

I'll look after the store.

Okay, then, uh, you know what? I will, uh, I will pack him a nice little overnight bag With some of his things, um,

Razor, toothpaste, change of undies.

Did it.

Then how about fabulous floral arrangements Sent to ben's room daily?

What the f*ck does he want with floral arrangements?

He's unconscious. Okay.

Well, there must be something i can do.

Boil water. He's not pregnant.

I want some coffee.

Hey.

Poor baby, you look exhausted.

Michael, how's Ben's fever?

Is Ben all right? Did the doctor say anything?

Is he going to be okay?

They don't know.

Sweetie, come... come sit down.

I'll make you some coffee.

I haven't got time. I gotta get back to the hospital.

Uh, hon... honey... your room is a sh*t-Hole.

I can't find my black jeans.

They're in your hand.

Did you call your mom? No.

I called vic.

Well, don't you think... no, i don't think.

She'd just give me sh*t.

I don't need a bunch of sh*t right now.

You should take a nap.

I can't.

I... where's my blue shirt?

You're wearing it.

Hey, you don't have to be brave on account of me.

On account of you? Who's... who the hell's thinking about you?

I'm thinking about ben.

He could die.

Then you should let us help you.

I don't need any help.

I can do it myself.

You really ought to save the hero sh*t For the g*dd*mn comic books.

It's not hero sh*t. I can take care of myself, And ben, and i don't need you Or anyone else coming to rescue me.

I'm doing just fine.

Good for you.

Now what the hell did i do with my wallet?

Your stuff is by far the best.

You're just saying that because we're friends, And because you don't know sh*t about art.

Now that's not true.

Stop being such a defensive assh*le And take the compliment.

She's right.

Your stuff is the best, so admit it, you're brilliant.

Huh. I'm brilliant.

Good. That's better.

That's the guy who was playing the violin.

Really? Huh.

You know, for an artist, You sure don't see very well.

Who's she? She's a friend from high school.

How much you want for this one?

Mmm, three.

Hundred? Million.

You said i was brilliant.

Then you're selling yourself short. Ask for five.

Five. Sold.

It's yours... for a song.

You drive a hard bargain.

Why don't you come over later and collect it?

How 'bout a smile, deb?

Hey, honey.

Don't count on me for dinner, all right?

I'm taking over betty's shift.

It's a damned good thing we got our flu sh*ts 'Cause everybody's sick.

Ben's in the hospital.

What?

Jesus.

Is it... pancreatitis.

From the meds. Probably the videx.

That'd be my guess.

How's he doing?

Michael says not so good.

When did he call? Last night.

And when the hell were you planning on telling me?

He didn't want you to know.

I'm his goddamned mother, for christ's sake.

Is my son all right?

He's putting up a brave front, But it's tough.

Deb, your eggs are up.

I told him this would happen, didn't i?

I told him. Right again.

Congratulations.

Dr. Lao, report to nurses' station, second floor.

Dr. Lao, nurses' station, second floor.

Hi, cutie.

How are you feeling?

Wonderful.

You look so sexy in your little gown.

You want some crushed ice?

They said it would help with the fever.

Mm... hmm.

I never thought i'd end up here so soon.

You haven't "ended up here".

You'll be out in a day or two. Oh-Ho-Ho.

I've seen what happens.

From now on, it's back and forth, trip after trip.

The only trip you'll be taking Is to tibet.

I've already booked us into the kathmandu hilton.

They've... they've got this great package deal.

It's bucks a day and all the yak you can eat.

Oh, don't make me laugh.

Time for his medication.

Wait, can you come back a little later?

He... he just fell asleep. Sorry.

Mr. Bruckner? He needs his rest.

And i have my orders. He's supposed to take this.

What is it? His hiv medication.

Wait. Who prescribed it?

The doctor on call.

Well, the doctor who admitted him Said he wanted him off all medication.

Th... this is what practically k*lled him.

Look, i don't take my orders from you, Okay? That's what you think.

If you give him this, he'll die.

I'm getting a doctor.

Well, while you're at it, why don't you get a brain?

They arrived from louisville this morning.

On a bus?

Jesus, look at those lapels.

They didn't come for no fashion show.

I expect you to treat them with the same respect And courtesy you would any human being... with a $ , ,

account.

Jesus, you had me worried there for a second, gardner.

Get your ass in here and sign 'em up.

Ah, mr. Frawley, Lovely to see you again.

Please, please...

What's up? ...discussing today. Um...

yeah, do you think we could get this meeting going?

S... 'scuse me one second.

I'll be... i'll be right with you.

Uh... sit there. Don't move.

I have to go.

What are you talking about? We have a meeting.

Reschedule it.

I have the entire board Of frawley's open fire in there.

What am i supposed to do with them?

Order them a steak.

Bobby, lunch is on you this time.

I paid the last time.

My grandfather taught me how to play.

He was a violinist for the berlin philharmonic Before they threw him into a concentration camp.

Holy sh*t. Yeah.

He still practiced six hours a day, Even though he didn't have a violin.

So how did he?

By the time he got out of auschwitz, He said his technique had actually improved; That his, uh, performance of the mendelssohn violin concerto

Was the greatest never heard. Huh!

That's amazing. Yeah.

The only thing that kept him going was his music.

Sometimes i feel the same way.

I know what you mean.

No matter how shitty things get, i always have art.

It's the one place i can go where i'll always be safe.

I never told anyone that before.

Really? Yeah.

Not even your... rich, successful boyfriend?

Not even him. No.

Oh-H-H.

So...

do you have a boyfriend?

No changing the subject.

Come on, i'm curious.

There was this guy.

Yeah? Yeah.

And i was... so f*cking crazy about him, i can... i can't explain it.

You don't have to.

We were together for about a year.

But he liked to go to the clubs and... party and bring guys home, and... for a while, i have to admit, it was pretty exciting.

I suppose it can be.

But then i realized it's not what i want.

Mmmm.

What do you want?

I want to be with somebody who only wants to be with me... who doesn't need to see other people... or be in the scene every night.

I want to be with somebody Who i can have a picnic on the floor with, And tell things to that i've never told anybody.

I'm sorry to call you. I... I didn't mean to bother you. Shut up.

How is he?

They've got him on all those painkillers and sh*t.

They don't even know if... hey.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...

i don't want him to die.

He's not going to... he's not going to die.

He's not going to die.

I need to be strong.

You are. You... you are strong.

No, i'm not.

My mom was right. Your mom doesn't know sh*t.

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

Are you listening?

I'm listening.

The night justin was bashed and i called you, And you were about to get on a plane, And you came here and you sat with me for three days,

Waiting to see if he was going to live or die.

If it hadn't been for you, i... i never would have made it.

It was because of you.

You're strong enough for both of us.

And you're going to be strong for ben.

$ , , ?

$ , , .

$ , , . The family wants to settle.

Oh, you got 'em. Oh! Congrats, mel.

You too, em. Thanks, baby.

Oh! We sure showed them, didn't we, mel?

Oh, we sure did.

However, there are a few stipulations.

Stipulations?

Oh, that we not release george's tape to the press.

That's understandable.

And that you sign this.

What is it? Huh.

Just a statement that you and george never had a relationship, And that any aforesaid claims to the contrary

Are false and untrue.

Forget it.

W-W-Whoa, hold on a minute there.

I mean, let's not be hasty.

I mean, true, it's not the full $ , , ,

But still, i mean, y-Y-You don't toss out a trick Because he's got a good body but bad acne, right?

Last saturday night... never mind.

Look, george wanted you to be taken care of.

After all, that's why he left you the money.

But... to deny what we had... as your lawyer, I can't advise you to sign something You know yourself isn't true.

But as your friend, you know the truth.

What you and george meant to each other, That's all that matters.

Think what you can do with the money.

You know, real estate, muni bonds.

With the proper investments, You could be set... set for life.

What the f*ck is that?

It's a picnic.

A picnic.

I went to the gourmet shop And i got a lot of cool, expensive stuff.

Brie, pate, french bread...

Mmmm. Mmmm.

Now you know i don't eat fat... or carbs after : .

I know, but...

i thought maybe just this once.

We could dine on the floor?

Yeah.

This is pittsburgh, not japan.

Oh, come on.

It'll be romantic.

You know, i want to go out.

I've had a for-sh*t day and i need to unwind.

You can do that here. We cannot do that here.

Now come on.

How about cheese and crackers? I'll make it for you.

Cheese and crackers aren't going to cut it.

Now come on, get up, get dressed.

Can we please stay home, for one night, Just the two of us?

You're too young to settle down.

You're too old to f*ck around.

Hmmm.

Now, i'm going to babylon.

You can either come with me, Or you can stay here.

It's your call.

That's right, boy. Eat the meat.

Eat the meat.

Huh.

Debbie?

Ben, i didn't want to disturb you.

Oh, no, no, it's okay. I was just... i was just resting.

I'm sorry i didn't come sooner, i... michael didn't tell me.

Yeah, he didn't want to upset you.

I have the feeling... it's not me he was worrying about.

Oh...

i brought you some, uh... home-Made chicken broth.

Cures all ills.

Thank you.

So...

How... how are you?

Oh, i'm, uh, better.

I'm better.

I'm sure you're going to be just fine.

Well, i don't want to wear you out.

We all know how exhausting i can be.

If you see michael... tell him i said hello.

Debbie.

I'm really sorry... for putting him through this.

Maybe he should've listened to you.

To me?

What the f*ck do i know?

I'm... just a controlling bitch who should've kept her big mouth shut, hmm?

You're his mother.

You love him, you're trying to protect him.

Well, i suppose there are two ways of thinking about it.

I prefer yours.

Would you like to stay for a while?

I could use some company.

Sure, i'll just heat this up.

Oh, i, uh... not really hungry.

Don't argue with me. You're gonna eat it.

Ah, everything seems to be in order.

Just the formality of mr. Honeycutt's signature.

Mrs. Schickel would like to express her gratitude

For resolving this in a quiet and dignified manner, As befits her late husband's memory.

Well, be sure and thank mrs. Schickel for thanking me.

Um, before i sign, may i see the cheque?

Certainly.

I always wondered what a cheque for $ , , would look like.

And now i know.

A lot of zeroes.

E-Emmett...

what is this?

Another devious ploy?

"B-By an ambitious p*rn site hustler"?

No, mr. Wylie. It's not a ploy.

You see, i, uh, i may not have $ , , , like george, But i do have the truth.

It's my only currency.

And it's my gift to him.

Emmett, you do realize What you're doing?

I told you, i never wanted a penny from him.

You can take everything.

Every... cent.

But the one thing i won't let you take Is what george and i shared.

That's mine, And you can't have it.

Well, i guess that concludes our business here, gentlemen.

Oh, One more thing.

You want to lose the family crowd, The strollers and the walkers, and go for the young singles?

Well then, i have three words for you.

"Eat the meat"?

How's that going... it's catchy.

This is what you've kept us waiting for?

There isn't even a picture of a steak on there.

Well, unless you've redesigned it, People know what a t-Bone looks like.

And where's the name of our restaurant?

We add that in the second wave of the campaign.

There's also, uh... something vaguely, uh... sexual about that.

Let's hope your young singles agree.

What do you guys think about this?

I think it's nice. What?

You like it?

Sogging brilliant.

How did you think of that?

It just came to me.

Insulin's stable.

Enzyme level's back down.

Inflammation's subsided.

That's good news.

So, when can i go home?

Maybe tomorrow. You need to stay in bed for a few days.

Well, i'll chain him to the headboard.

He'll like that.

And i want you to go on a holiday.

How about tibet?

A drug holiday.

Are you sure?

Your body could use a rest for a few months.

We'll keep an eye on you.

Thank you, doctor.

Well, that's good news.

You get to go. You don't have to be on the meds.

Mmmm. We'll see what happens. Huh.

Hey. Mm-Hmm?

How about staying in the "now"?

sh*t! That was good.

Sorry.

Oh, it's okay, i was just... I thought you were my assh*le neighbours. They're always... complaining whenever i play too late.

They complain? Yeah.

They're f*cking lucky.

Well, i wish you'd tell them that.

Someday they'll be paying bucks a ticket to hear me.

So i'm the lucky one.

I came for my song.

Right.

Right.

So what would you like to hear?

Something...

technically astonishing?

No. Something... astonishingly romantic.

The End