15x14 - Vegas, Baby!

[bunniefuu]

TRISTAN: She's here! Hi, cutie.

KHLOE: Tristan obviously
(bleep) up, but I'm not sure how

I feel about anything right now.
In two weeks, I might say, "You"

know what, this isn't for me,"
or, "Let's keep it going."

Right now my focus is on True.
That's really what's important

to me.
KIM: Tristan, like, he should

be embarrassed.
I unfollowed him on Instagram.

KOURTNEY: Yeah.
KIM: I'm, like, done.

Done with him. ♪ ♪

KIM: So, you wrote Khloe.
KOURTNEY: I just wrote her

saying hi.
KIM: She's like, "Please, I"

don't want you guys to fight."
I'm like, "I unfollowed him, and

I'm just letting you know."
KOURTNEY: Mm-hmm.

Does he follow us?
KIM: I don't know.

That's gonna be a rule.
I'm not following any boyfriend

or anything, 'cause it's so
awkward when I have to unfollow.

You have to practically be
married in, at this point.

That's my rule.
(gasps) He blocked me.

What a (bleep) loser.
Literally, what a (bleep) loser.

I'm calling her right now.
(line ringing)

KHLOE (on phone): Hello?
KIM: Wait, he blocked me on.

Instagram.
Like, how old are you?

KHLOE: He's .
Only -year-olds even know how

to block.
I don't even know how to block

someone. ]] KIM: Oh, it's on.

KHLOE: Oh, no.
Please don't do the "It's on."

What does that mean?
KIM: It just means when I see

him... I'm going to, like...
KHLOE: Yeah.

KIM: Spit on him.
Whatever, I'll save it all for

him; I won't stress you out.
I'll...

KHLOE: No, please tell me,
because I just have to know how

long I have to keep you guys
separated.

KIM: We can coexist.
I'll be nice.

KHLOE: No, I don't know if
you guys can coexist.

It's so crazy.
KIM: Yeah, I don't think we

can, actually. KHLOE: Hold on.

I got to go. ]] KIM: Bye.

(phone beeps)
Your boyfriend's a (bleep)

loser. ♪ ♪

(dog barks)
SCOTT: Can you, like,

introduce me to the dog?
KENDALL: Six, come here.

SCOTT: Hi. (Kissing noises)
Well, is she like a little bit,

like... obsessed with me, or...?
KENDALL: She likes you.

It's 'cause you're petting her.
SCOTT: Oh.

So, what went on at the high
school reunion?

Were a lot of people there?
KIM: Yeah, it was amazing.

Me, I got a party bus.
I got a big Sprinter.

SCOTT: What?
KIM: I picked up Allison.

Do you know Amanda Lee?
SCOTT: Yeah.

KIM: My friend Sarah Hudson.
Amber Jenkins.

SCOTT: Well, you were fun,
right? At one time?

Like, you were, like, wild,
right, some of your years,

right? ]] KIM: Yeah.

SCOTT: Yeah, it's so weird.
I can't, like, picture you

being, like, a wild child.
KIM: Really?

SCOTT: Can you?
KENDALL: No, but I heard

stories about you.
KIM: Like what?

KENDALL: I can't say it.
KIM: Like what?

SCOTT: I've heard some stuff.
KIM: You can say it.

SCOTT: You went to, like,
Disney and you were all high or

something. Or Six Flags, or...

KENDALL: Yeah, I didn't know
you, like, got high.

KIM: I got married on ecstasy.

KENDALL: I had no idea.
KIM: No, the first time.

I did ecstasy once and got
married; I did it again, I made

a sex tape.
Like, everything bad would

happen. SCOTT: You were high on

ecstasy when you were in that
sex tape?

KIM: Absolutely.
Everyone knows it.

Like, my jaw was shaking.
Like the whole time, I'm like...

SCOTT: I thought that was
'cause of sucking the ol' zazee.

KIM (laughing): No, this is
my move. Yeah.

SCOTT: No, I-I can't see that.

KIM: When I first started to
travel, I remember one night.

Paris and I stayed in Ibiza.
We go to a foam party.

We leave the club at : a.m.
I'm like, "Guys, we're going to"

the beach."
So we go to the beach.

There was, like, buoys in the
water that made a big square,

and I'm like, "Let's sleep in
the ocean."

We locked arms on rafts, and we
spent the night in the ocean on

rafts.
KENDALL: I just can't believe

that that was you.
KIM: I still can do crazy

things. ]] KENDALL: Okay.

SCOTT: Sure. KENDALL: Prove it.

(Scott laughs)
KIM: Kendall honestly has,

like, no clue.
I definitely went through a wild

phase.
I would say in, like, my late

teens.
I'm not like that anymore.

But, like, I still have fun.
Don't get it twisted.

I'm always the life of the
party.

SCOTT: Hi.
KENDALL: You can tell her

"off." She likes you.

SCOTT: Oh! This g*dd*mn dog's
a whore.

(Kendall laughs) ♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: What about these?
KHADIJAH: Those are cute.

KOURTNEY: You want to put
these in?

PENELOPE: Yeah.
KOURTNEY: So, two people from.

EWG, it's this nonprofit
organization, Environmental.

Working Group, are coming over.
KHADIJAH: Okay.

KOURTNEY: They have this app
that I've been using for years.

And it's called Healthy Living,
and you can scan, like, cleaning

supplies, beauty products,
food... like, different things.

KHADIJAH: Mm-hmm.
KOURTNEY: And they score it.

They give it a score to tell you
how good or bad it is.

KHADIJAH: That's pretty cool.
KOURTNEY: Having three kids,

it's important to me to be
conscious of product

ingredients. Hi.

NNEKA: Hi.
KOURTNEY: How are you?

NNEKA and KOURTNEY: It's good
to see you.

KOURTNEY: Hi. How are you.
JOCELYN: Hi. Nice to see you

again.
KOURTNEY: Some of the women

from EWG reached out to me about
their mission and ways I could

potentially get involved.
I really didn't realize how, you

know, that these products
weren't regulated.

Now I feel like I need to look
up every kid product that I'm

using.
I've done it before, but I feel

like it's, like, you constantly
have to be doing it.

And, like, even if it says
natural.

JOCELYN: Yeah.
KOURTNEY: That's crazy that

that doesn't mean...
KHADIJAH: That scares me so

much. JOCELYN: Right? And, like,

the color of the bottle doesn't
matter, and, like, a lot of

people are like, "Oh, it looked
really natural."

KHADIJAH: The packaging's
cute. Yeah.

JOCELYN: "It said recycled."
And just 'cause it's recycled

doesn't mean the actual
chemicals inside of it are good

for you or for the environment.
NNEKA: We realized that most

people don't know that personal
care products aren't very

regulated.
I just thought that all the

products on store shelves met
this very vigorous standard.

JOCELYN: Oh, me, too. Yeah.
NNEKA: That's not required

now.
Right now, we as consumers are

all the guinea pigs, because
these products aren't tested.

KHADIJAH: That's really scary.

NNEKA: Some baby wipes
have an ingredient called

methylisothiazolinone.
Kids started to get these rashes

that spread their entire face,
and the company had to take the

ingredient out of the wipes.
KHADIJAH: So crazy.

NNEKA: Triphenyl phosphate,
that's a flame retardant.

It's in nail polish, and it
soaks right through your

cuticles and gets into your
body.

JOCELYN: So, like, the same
flame retardant we, like, would

treat our couches or rugs with?
NNEKA: Yeah.

Red lipstick will have lead.
KOURTNEY: No matter what.

NNEKA: It just will. Yeah.
If you're pregnant, you should

avoid it.
JOCELYN: We did a test, and

babies are born pre-polluted
with over ... industrial

components.
NNEKA: And also, when you

look at the European laws,
there's more than a thousand

ingredients banned or restricted
versus the here.

That disparity is just too...
it's too striking.

KOURTNEY: It's crazy that
it's up to us to really do the

research and figure it out, you
know.

NNEKA: The law hasn't been
updated since , so we're

working really, really hard to
update the personal care law and

get a bill passed that would
ensure that products are safe

before they go on store shelves,
and we'd love your help to get

some attention.
JOCELYN: You're welcome to

come to Washington to lobby with
us, or...

KHADIJAH: Lobby, Kourt. Yeah.
KOURTNEY: I would love to.

JOCELYN: Yes!
KOURTNEY: I feel like my

sisters are always saying, "Oh,
you don't have a passion."

You don't have your own
project."

But this is something that I do
feel strongly about.

We should be able to walk into a
store and safely shop for

personal care products.
And I know I'm not the most

political person, but if going
to Washington is going to help

push their cosmetic law through,
then I'm happy to do it.

Well, thank you, guys.
JOCELYN: Oh, yeah. Thank you.

NNEKA: Absolutely.
KOURTNEY: I'm so happy you

guys are here, but the second
you leave, I'm going upstairs

with Khadijah, and we're gonna
scan...

KHADIJAH: And we're gonna
pull everything out on the

counter. NNEKA: Like, scanning

everything. ♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: Why are you so
close? Is that a...?

Or am I just really far?
KIM: So close?

KOURTNEY: Yeah, don't I...
I just look so far back.

KIM: Oh, I don't know.
Oh, like, so close to the thing?

Can you call Khloe?
KOURTNEY: Have you talked to

her? (Phone ringing)

KIM: Yeah, I mean, a little
bit... just, like, "How's the"

baby?" and, "What's going on?"
KOURTNEY: I call her.

I try to call her every day, but
just try to talk about the baby.

One time, she was like, "You're
stressing me out."

I get anxious whenever you guys
call."

KHLOE: Hello. KOURTNEY: Hi.

KHLOE: Hi. ]] KIM: Hey.

KHLOE: Hey.
KIM: How's Cleveland?

(Khloe laughs)
KHLOE: Everything's good.

KOURTNEY: How's True?
KHLOE: She's so good.

She's so cute.
KOURTNEY: She's so cute,

I can't take it.
KHLOE: Oh, my God. Thank you.

She's already getting so much
bigger.

KIM: Well, good.
We can't wait to see you, so...

KOURTNEY: I know. When are
you coming?

Like, come already.
KHLOE: We will be home soon.

KOURTNEY: Wait, so...
how's Tristan?

(Khloe laughs)
KHLOE: Uh, he's good.

He's good. ]] KOURTNEY: What?

KIM: How's my boy?
KHLOE (laughs): He's good.

I'm just, you know, in a tough
situation, 'cause my sister and

my boyfriend hate each other.
(Kim chuckles quietly)

KIM: I still can't believe
that Tristan blocked me.

I mean, that's just too petty
for me, and I could go there in

the petty department.
I know Khloe wants us to be cool

with Tristan when they get back,
but I still, you know, hold this

resentment towards him.
KHLOE: I'm strong enough that

I can deal with everything
personally, but she deserves to

have bonding time with both of
her parents.

It's not her fault what's going
on.

KOURTNEY: Nope, it's not.
KIM: It's not easy for me

just to forget the fact that he
broke Khloe's heart.

I can't really get over that
right now.

Hi, guys. ]] OTHERS: Hi.

KIM: I'm going to Vegas with
all of my high school friends.

To a night off to have fun.
SARAH: And to Cher.

KIM: We're going to the Cher
concert.

I'm gonna try to relive my
crazy, wild years.

Oh, my gosh.
FABER: Tomorrow at the

briefing, your job is to urge
Congress to do their job.

KOURTNEY: Who is this in
front of?

FABER: Reporters and about
staff.

KOURTNEY: I definitely have a
fear of public speaking.

FABER: Your voice right now
is really important.

(Scott gasps)
SCOTT: True... dat!

KHLOE: It's exciting that we
get to see the family again and

all her cousins, but Kim and
Tristan have not been in the

same room together since they've
had that talk in Cleveland.

KIM: Should I go say hi to
my bestie?

♪ ♪

KIM: After talking to Kendall
and Scott, I decided I need a

fun night out.
So I'm going to Vegas.

Hi, guys. ]] OTHERS: Hi.

KIM: I'm bringing all of my
high school friends, like, my

clique.
We used to hang out all night

long back in the day. SARAH: Hi!

KIM: I've got Sarah, who is
the free-spirited artist.

Hi. ]] AMBER: Hi.

KIM: Amber, the life of the
party.

You look so cute!
Simone, the trendsetter.

AMANDA: Hey.
KIM: Amanda, the quiet one.

FLORIANA: Hi.
KIM: And Floriana, the mama

bear. How are you?

FLORIANA: So jelly of all
this hair.

SIMONE: You're in your Cher
hair!

KIM: It only took three hours
to put in. No big deal.

Oh, my God, is there still clips
in my hair?

We're going to the Cher concert.
Cher is the most iconic singer

on the planet, and she's, like,
my biggest style inspiration.

AMBER: Are you guys all
dressing up like Cher?

KIM: I have two wardrobe
changes.

She literally has the best
clothes, the best hair, the

best nails, the best, like,
everything.

Shelli Azoff knows how much I
love Cher, so she gives me this

box, and I, like, open it, and
it's this turquoise bracelet,

and then it's this scarf, and I
was like, "Oh, that's so nice."

"Thanks." AMBER: Wait, it's hers?

KIM: It's, like, the scarf
was something that she used to

wear during Sonny and Cher days.
AMBER: Oh, my God.

KIM: And then the bracelet
was Cher's for years, and...

FLORIANA: Wow.
KIM: But it was, like, really

sentimental to her, so I'm
wearing it tonight.

SIMONE: Did you bring it?
FLORIANA: I was just gonna

say, add the scarf or no?
KIM: I didn't bring the

scarf, 'cause it just didn't go,
but I really want to wear...

AMBER: I can't wait to see it.

KIM: The turquoise
bracelet. Yeah.

AMBER: I told my coworker
I'm gonna go see Cher.

She says, "Wait, who's Cher?"
SIMONE (gasps): What?! No.

KIM: How do you not know that?

SARAH: How do you not know?
KIM: Like, I would feel sad

to be working with that person.
(laughter)

♪ ♪

ANDREW: How was your flight?
KOURTNEY: It was good.

ANDREW: Yeah?
KOURTNEY: So, the reason

we're here... ]] ANDREW: Yeah?

KOURTNEY: Is I'm running
for president.

(laughing)
I am so excited to be in D.C.

I brought my friend Sarah.
She's one of my best friends

since high school.
She's a beauty blogger, and she

is really into politics, so I
thought she was the perfect

person to bring along.
We're going to meet with the EWG

staff to talk about what we're
going to be doing while I'm

here. Hi. How are you?

JOCELYN: Hi. Have a seat.
KOURTNEY: Hi. Kourtney.

WOMAN: Nice to meet you.
You picked a good day to be in.

Washington. ]] HOWARD: Why?

WOMAN : 'Cause it's just
gorgeous.

KOURTNEY: It is.
JOCELYN: So, we just wanted

to start off by thanking you for
taking your time to be here on

behalf of this issue, and it
means a lot to have a voice like

yours. FABER: To be honest, I've

never seen as many staff respond
as quickly to the news that

you're going to be on
Capitol Hill.

KOURTNEY: Really? How exciting.

ADRIENNE: We need powerful
outside voices such as yours

being here to really advocate
for the causes that we believe,

so thank you for being here.
FABER: Congress is really

close to finally producing a law
that sets limits on what kinds

of chemicals can be added to
cosmetics and other personal

care products for the first time
in years, and having you here

is exactly what we need right
now to get this bill into a law

and across the finish line.
So tomorrow at the briefing for.

Senate staff, your job is just
to tell your story and why you

care and urge Congress to do
their job.

KOURTNEY: And this is... who
is this in front of?

FABER: There will be some
reporters there, and then

there'll be about or
staff.

They're the people who
ultimately will decide: Is this

important enough for Congress to
act on this year?

So your voice right now is
really important.

KOURTNEY: This is the closest
that EWG has gotten to pushing

their cosmetic law through.
I didn't realize that I'm, like,

the final push.
HOWARD: You're gonna crush

it. FABER: Yeah, you're gonna do

great. All right.
KOURTNEY: All right, see you

in the morning.
I definitely have a fear of

public speaking.
I don't really know, like,

what I'm gonna say.
I just don't want to mess up.

I was about to have a heart
att*ck.

HOWARD: They just kept being
like, "Thank you for being the"

voice.
Like, you're helping to get

this onto the floor."
KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.

HOWARD: I was like, "Wait.
Kourt's the spokesperson?"

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.
HOWARD: Like, she's the

make-or-break of this?
I was dying!

♪ ♪

KHLOE: We are back in
California.

I really haven't seen anyone
since I've been in Cleveland,

since I gave birth, so today
Scott gets to meet True for the

first time.
SCOTT: What's going on?

KENDALL: Not much.
Just here, you know, chillin'.

(Scott gasps)
SCOTT: True... dat!

KENDALL: Have you met her?
SCOTT: No.

KENDALL: Swear. ]] KHLOE: No.

Do you know how to hold a baby?
SCOTT: I have three.

KHLOE: She just ate.
SCOTT: Whoa, she's so soft.

Who's your boo-boo?
KRIS: What are you doing?

SCOTT: Who's your baby?
KRIS: Mama just took the

cutest pictures today.
SCOTT: I can't believe you

have your own child.
Khloe has been so good with all

my kids, and I just feel like,
finally, thank God it's her

turn. ]] KHLOE: Is that funny?

(blows raspberry)
SCOTT: And it's so obvious

she's already such a good mom.
KRIS: How come you look just

like your dad?
You're a little Tristan twin.

SCOTT: True is so cute.
She is such a ball of love.

She's literally just one big
cute bowling ball of a baby.

So, True, how do you feel? Okay.

(Kendall laughs) How are you?

KRIS: Are you adjusting okay?
KHLOE: Um, it's fine.

I mean, it's great.
SCOTT: You don't have that

water view anymore.
KHLOE: Don't have that water

view, but I got a mountain view
now.

At first, I was a little
nervous, like, just, like,

anxious.
Like, to go from, like, no one

ever visiting or anything to,
like, the overwhelming...

KRIS: Stimulation? KHLOE: Sure.

It's exciting that we get to see
the family again and all her

cousins, but Kim and Tristan
have not been in the same room

together since they've had that
talk in Cleveland.

So it's just awkward for me.
I'm in a very uncomfortable

position, and I don't know how
they're both gonna act.

I'm like, what is gonna happen
when they get face-to-face?

KOURTNEY: We're going in the
morning to speak to the Senate,

and literally, I don't speak.
Part of me wishes that I didn't

have to do this.
I was trying to think of ways to

get out of it.
KIM: I was able to pull off a

backstage meeting with Cher.
Do they have any water anywhere?

I feel like I'm gonna faint,
'cause I'm meeting Cher.

Oh, my God! AMBER: Oh, my God.

♪ ♪
SIMONE: Oh, my gosh.

KIM: Marymount Sailors, you
guys.

AMBER: Oh! No way.
SIMONE: Oh, my God.

AMBER: We always had the best
balloon surprise.

(all laugh) ]] SIMONE: So cute.

Wait, what? Oh, my God.

SARAH: Oh, my God, Amber.
FLORIANA: Amber!

AMBER: Why are we so gangster?

(all laugh)
KIM: The high school reunion

continues in Vegas. ALL: Cheers!

SIMONE: We have to, uh, look
each other in the eyes.

AMANDA: Wow. Very serious.
FLORIANA: So intense.

AMBER: Amanda? Jokes?
KIM: Can I get in my Cher

outfit? (Sarah laughs)

AMANDA: Let's do it.
KIM: My favorite thing in

life to do is to wear Cher
looks.

I love recreating looks that
she's done.

FLORIANA: Cher's here.
SARAH: Ready?

KIM: Yeah. ]] SARAH: Go.

KIM: If I could dress up like
Cher every single day, that

would literally make my life.
Oh, (bleep).

My nail keeps coming off.
AMANDA: How did you put them

on?
Did you literally just, like,

glue them?
KIM: Like, press on, like...

SARAH: Like, Lee Press-on?
KIM: Yeah.

(all laugh)
SERVER: How's everyone doing?

Does anyone need a drink or
beverage?

KIM: Yes. Can we get...
sh*ts of...

AMBER: Shut up. KIM: Tequila.

SARAH: What? AMBER: No. No.

KIM: Do we want tequila?
SIMONE: Kim!

KIM: Okay, okay, vodka.
Vodka, okay, vodka.

Tonight we're drinking.
I'm definitely gonna, like, just

have fun and try to relive my
crazy, wild years.

To reuniting after years.
And I'm so glad that we're in.

Vegas, and just to, like, a
night off to have fun.

SARAH: Yes.
FLORIANA: Absolutely.

SARAH: And to Cher.
ALL: To Cher!

SIMONE: Yes. We have to look
in the eyes.

AMBER: Okay.
Just do it, just one sh*t.

Go, go. (All whooping, laughing)

KIM: Oh, my God. ♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: I just took a photo
of us in the bathroom, but tell

me if it's even okay.
ANDREW: Yeah, why not?

KOURTNEY: Should I write,
like, "businesswomen"?

ANDREW: You're twins.
Like, literally.

KOURTNEY: Should I write...
ANDREW: No, "career girl"

special."
WOMAN: "A businesswomen

special."
ANDREW: No, no, it's "career

girl special."
Actually, I think you're right.

(all laugh)
So, how did the meeting go?

KOURTNEY: It was good.
We were gonna cancel the press

conference tomorrow.
ANDREW: Yeah.

KOURTNEY: But it's not really
a press conference.

It's, like, that's when I'm
speaking in front of the Senate.

ANDREW: Oh, okay.
HOWARD: And then House staff

later, 'cause they do it
separately.

ANDREW: So, are you, like...
KOURTNEY: So, the Senate

staff...
ANDREW: Are you behind the

thing with your, like, little
name...

KOURTNEY: No, so literally, I
don't speak.

Like, when I had to speak for
Jen Atkin, I thought I was gonna

start crying. I was like...

ANDREW: Well, luckily, you
brought yourself to Washington

to talk in front of, like,
politicians.

WOMAN: What are you gonna do?
KOURTNEY: So I was trying to

think of ways to get out of it,
and, like, be like, "My

publicist doesn't want me to do
this."

ANDREW: Yeah.
KOURTNEY: And I didn't even

tell my sisters or anyone that I
was coming and doing this.

They're so judgmental on my...
whatever I'm doing.

After they say that I never have
my passion.

HOWARD: That's because they
just want to be you.

Don't worry about it.
KOURTNEY: They really do.

My sisters can just be very
critical.

I already put enough pressure on
myself as it is.

Like, I'm worried, what if I say
the wrong thing tomorrow and

let everyone down?
Part of me wishes that I didn't

have to do this.
HOWARD: I think you just need

to show that you're serious,
and I think you are serious

about it. ♪ ♪

(all laugh)

SIMONE: Oh, my God, Kim, you
look amazing.

KIM: And I have new nails.
SIMONE: Oh, you do.

KIM: Yeah, I-I'll do anything
for, like, a good look.

Like, it doesn't matter.
SIMONE: Wow.

SARAH: What are we doing?
FLORIANA: I want to get in.

KIM: Ooh, the smell of this
vodka.

Oh, I'm gonna throw up.
ALL: Cheers!

(Simone whoops) (Sarah whistles)

AMANDA: Look in the eyes.
AMBER: Look in the eyes.

SIMONE: I'm done looking in
the eyes.

AMBER: I'm not done.
SARAH: I can't even see any

of your eyes anyway.
(Simone laughs)

FLORIANA: Oh, my God, are you
guys that wasted?

Oh, my God. She is.

SARAH: And I'm gagging.
KIM: Oh, my God.

FLORIANA: You're good now.
KIM: Guys, one more sh*t?

One more sh*t?
SIMONE: Like, are you

really...? KIM: Yeah, why not?

I never go out unless it's with
my kids.

(all whooping) ]] SIMONE: Okay.

KIM: We're going to see Cher!
So, I was able to pull off a

backstage meeting with Cher
after her show.

I met her one time at the Met
Ball.

My friends are so excited just
to meet her and to hang out with

her a little bit. ♪ ♪

AMBER: Kim, so, what are you
gonna say when you meet Cher?

Are you gonna be like...
FLORIANA: I dare you.

AMBER: You're gonna be like,
"I'm obsessed with you."

KIM: She knows.
AMANDA: She knows.

AMBER: Do you play it cool,
or are you like, "I'm obsessed"

with you?"
KIM: No, I'll say I'm obse...

I like to, I like to be, like...
AMANDA: Honest.

AMBER: Totally honest.
KIM: Like, she's the queen.

FLORIANA: She still is.
KIM: I was like, "I would"

love you to be my mom.
I'm obsessed with you."

Like, you got to give it up,
you know?

Like, there's no one like her.
SIMONE: Nobody. %.

We're here? ]] KIM: Yeah.

FLORIANA: Oh, (bleep).
KIM: You guys!

(all shrieking) ]] SIMONE: Cher!

♪ ♪
KIM: In high school, we would

get so dressed up and go to
concerts all the time, so

nothing has changed.
We're all so dressed up, going

to a concert.
It's just in Vegas, and we're

years older.
It's, like, it's so funny just

to see us all back together.
(audience cheering)

("Welcome to Burlesque" playing)

CHER: ♪ You may not be Guilty

But you're ready to confess... ♪
KIM: Ah. Like, this is

everything. I love Cher.

CHER: ♪ Welcome to Burlesque
Oh, everyone is buying

♪ Put your money in my hand
If you got a little extra

Well, give it to the band... ♪
KIM: Oh, my God.

This concert is so much fun, and
my friends are having a good

time. ]] AMBER: Uh, which one...

FLORIANA: Oh, Amber.
AMBER: Oh, my God.

(all laugh)
KIM: Chris, do I need a hair

touch-up?
APPLETON: That was so good.

KIM: It was so good.
APPLETON: She's amazing.

KIM: Her body.
APPLETON: Banging.

KIM: Oh, my God.
I'm dying to see if Cher

remembers what I'm wearing.
Is she coming? Is she coming?

I completely, like, copied one
of her looks.

AMBER: Oh, my God, Kim.
You look so cute.

KIM: I'm really curious to
know if she's, like, flattered

or thinks it's, like, beyond
desperate.

Do they have any water anywhere?
I feel like I'm gonna faint

'cause I'm meeting Cher.
Oh, my God!

MAN: Okay, you guys ready?
(Kim gasps)

AMBER: Oh, my God.
KHLOE: It's Taco Tuesday,

Kimberly. ]] KIM: What?

No one invited me?
I-I mean, I know that she's

trying to just keep me and
Tristan apart.

Like, I wouldn't want drama
myself.

JOCELYN: So, you will be
walking into a full room.

KOURTNEY: I didn't really
realize this was, like, a

full-on press conference.
(indistinct chatter)

I hope that I don't let my
nerves get the best of me.

KIM: Is she coming?
Is she coming?

I feel like I'm gonna faint
'cause I'm meeting Cher.

Oh, my God!
SIMONE: I feel like I heard

her.
She might be, like, right there

waiting in the wing. Oh, my God!

Hi! ]] KIM: Hi, queen.

(Simone whoops)
CHER: Hi. Hi. Hi.

AMBER: Oh, my God.
CHER: Hello, ladies.

ALL: Hi!
KIM: These are my high school

friends.
This was, like, we were all best

friends in high school.
CHER: Where-where is your...

where is your high school?
KIM: It was in Los Angeles,

right across from UCLA.
Called Marymount.

All-girls Catholic school.
CHER: Cool.

I went to Catholic school for
about a minute and a half.

(all laugh)
Before recorded time.

KIM: How are you?
I have to give you a hug.

CHER: I'm good, how are you?
KIM: Good.

CHER: Wait a minute, I
remember this.

KIM: Do you rec...?
I-I knew you would.

Wait, my nails... some of them
fell off, but...

CHER: No, it's good.
It's a good...

Yeah, yeah, you did a good job.
KIM: I made this yesterday.

CHER: You did?
KIM: Yeah, I bought, like,

three jackets and cut it up and
tried to get something similar.

CHER: Cool, very cool.
Oh, nice, girl.

Good girl.
KIM: Thank you so much.

I try.
CHER: Reminds me of the old

days.
KIM: My dream of life is to

see your closet.
Did you archive everything?

CHER: Did I? Everything?
KIM: Do you have, like...

CHER: I don't have, uh,
no, I don't have everything.

I kept the things I love.
I kind of wish I would have kept

a few more things, but...
KIM: Yeah.

CHER: But I have the ones
I love.

KIM: You're my everything
inspiration.

CHER: Keep going.
KIM: No, seriously.

(laughter) Seriously. Like...

CHER: No, I don't mean...
I don't mean keep going and

telling me anything.
I mean, "Keep going."

You keep going. ]] KIM: Yes.

(laughter)
CHER: Are you Armenian, too?

FLORIANA: No, I'm Argentinian.

But I got a little of
everything.

CHER: Okay, good. (Laughs)
KIM: But seriously, I mean,

everything you've done for the
Armenian community has been

amazing.
CHER: I want to go back.

KIM: They love you.
I want to go back.

SARAH: Maybe you guys
should go back together.

KIM: Yeah. I would love to.
CHER: The reason we should go

back is 'cause all kinds of bad
things are happening, and we

need to make a presence.
FLORIANA: You guys really

should. ]] KIM: Anytime.

CHER: All right, well, we can
make a... we can make a thing.

KIM: Well, thank you for, you
know, meeting with us after the

show. I know you're probably

exhausted.
Just wanted to say hi.

CHER: Like a little sister.
KIM: Just excited.

Just excited to see the show.
CHER: It was good to see you

guys.
It was good to meet all of you,

really. ]] FLORIANA: Thank you.

So nice to meet you. CHER: Okay.

KIM: Thank you.
CHER: Good-bye, girls.

FLORIANA: Thank you so much!
Thank you!

KIM: Bye.
I was just happy to, like,

literally just be in her
presence.

You guys, we just hung out with
Cher, no big deal.

I honestly haven't been out like
this in so long.

It's probably : or : in
the morning, and we're flying

home.
I'm so tired, but it was so

worth it. FLORIANA: Look at Kim.

AMBER: I know, Kim's all
ready to nap.

♪ ♪

KIM: I can't believe I'm
doing long nails.

(manicurist laughs)
MANICURIST: Well, they're not

cut yet, so they're really fun.
KIM: I know.

(phone rings) ]] KHLOE: Hello.

KIM: Hi. ]] KHLOE: Hi.

KIM: I'm getting long nails
for you.

KHLOE: Oh, my goodness!
That's so great!

KIM: I know.
I knew you would love it.

I'm feeling very much like you.
KHLOE: Oh, my God!

Can someone shut the door here?
KIM: Where are you?

KHLOE: It's Taco Tuesday,
Kimberly.

Get with it, okay? ]] KIM: What?

No one invited me?
KHLOE: We didn't know you

would want to come.
KIM: So, I mean, I know that

she's trying to just keep me
and Tristan apart, and I get

that.
Like, I wouldn't want drama

myself, but, I mean, what can I
do?

KHLOE: Okay. KIM: All right.

Love you. I'll call you later.
KHLOE: Okay.

KIM: Okay, bye.
Very mature... things we've got

going on here.
MANICURIST: Right. (Laughs)

♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: Sarah, the clutch
or my fanny pack?

But I would just hold it, like,
over my shoulder like that.

HOWARD: I like that, but I
think that's more business-y.

So I don't know what vibe you
want.

You look very profesh.
KOURTNEY: Thank you.

It's a pretty big day.
I'm going to speak to Congress

and the Senate.
I'm still a little bit nervous

about how it will go.
HOWARD: Thank you.

KOURTNEY: All right, where
are we going?

HOWARD: This way. KOURTNEY: Hi!

WOMEN: Good morning! Hi!
KOURTNEY: I'm sorry we're

late.
I don't know what happened.

ADRIENNE: You look amazing.
No, the traffic can be insane.

Good morning. Hi.
WOMAN: Good morning.

Nice to see you.
KOURTNEY: Nice to see you.

HOWARD: Yeah. We had a really
good dinner.

KOURTNEY: We had a good dinner.

JOCELYN: Hi. Nice to see you.
KOURTNEY: Wait, are we so

late?
Are we, like, walking in to,

like... Okay.
JOCELYN: Yes. Yeah.

Um, Scott and Pen started it
already.

We have it set up as a
conversational style, and

everyone... so you will be
walking into a full room.

KOURTNEY: Okay.
JOCELYN: There's, like, an

aisle and stuff.
We're gonna go to the right.

KOURTNEY: Hi.
GUARD: Step through.

KOURTNEY: I didn't really
realize this was, like, a

full-on press conference.
So I hope that I don't let my

nerves get the best of me.
FABER: So, maybe just to

start, maybe talk a little bit
about when you first became

concerned about the chemicals in
cosmetics.

KOURTNEY: Um, well...
(clears throat)

KIM: Khloe's in town, and I
just haven't seen her.

SCOTT: How's that even possible?

KIM: I just feel like
Tristan's here, and she's so

nervous for him and I to see
each other.

I don't want to have any more
distance between me and Khloe,

so I'm going to extend an olive
branch.

Where's Tristan?
Should I go say hi to my bestie?

KHLOE: I don't want just to
have fighting in the house.

FABER: So, maybe just to
start, maybe you could talk a

little bit about when you first
became concerned about the

chemicals in cosmetics.
KOURTNEY: Um, well...

(clears throat)
When I had my first son, I

started learning a lot about the
foods that, you know, I was

giving him, and then it
snowballed into learning a lot

about products, and... you know,
I would find out that they had a

lot of harmful chemicals.
To me, it was just really

shocking that you can buy baby
products and products for

children that are not safe.
It shouldn't be up to parents or

consumers, really, to have to do
that much research.

FABER: Right.
KOURTNEY: You know, it's time

that Congress does its job.
(laughter, applause)

FABER: There you go.
KOURTNEY: I never really

thought that I would be here
speaking in front of Congress

and Senate. BALDWIN: We're still

plugging away on this issue,
and thank you for your advocacy.

KOURTNEY: Yes.
BALDWIN: Really appreciate

it. KOURTNEY: We're so happy to

be here.
I feel like I'm getting my

points across well and people
are really understanding why

it's so important.
PALLONE: Yeah, you know,

I have two daughters,
and as they were growing up,

they always assumed that if they
were buying something, somebody

had looked at it and said it was
safe.

And when I told them that that's
not true, they were like, "How"

"can that be?" ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.

I was nervous, but I'm just
happy that I could be here to

lend my voice and hopefully
make a difference.

HOWARD: No, no, no. Like...
KOURTNEY: Wait, should we

take a photo?
Paxy, do you want to take it?

Do you want to take it?
PAXY: Do I ever!

KOURTNEY: I have to look like
a boss.

HOWARD: Ow! Ow! Oh.
PAXY: Okay, ready?

HOWARD: Oh, what? Here I come.

♪ ♪

SCOTT: This is, like, the
nicest gym ever.

KIM: Really?
SCOTT: Well, I mean...

it's, like, pretty.
Like, all the equipment's

black, and the floors are nice.
What else is shaking?

KIM: Um...
SCOTT: This is some good, uh,

good piece of equipment.
(screams)

No one heard that, did they?
(screams)

KIM: So, I feel like Khloe is
living a full double life.

SCOTT: What do you mean?
KIM: She's in town, and I

just haven't seen her.
SCOTT: How's that even

possible? KIM: I just feel like.

Tristan's here, and she's so
nervous for him and I to see

each other.
I feel like I get into this

protection mode, where I just,
like...

SCOTT: Yeah, I mean, I think
everybody...

KIM: Go into, like,
worst-case scenario.

SCOTT: Wants to be
protective of their family.

KIM: Yeah.
SCOTT: But I think sometimes

when people get too caught up
when it's, like, a negative

protection and not always being
there when the positive, then

everybody feels kind of, like,
att*cked.

KIM: Is it annoying when,
like, family members start

ganging up on you?
SCOTT: Listen, no matter what

you say to somebody, when
there's something happening in

their life, it's not actually
going to be taken in.

Like, I know back in the day,
when your mom or Khloe would get

involved with me and Kourtney's
stuff, it only would draw us

farther away from the family.
Never pulled anybody in and made

people more comforted.
And now, look, it's, like,

you're being protective 'cause
you love your sister, but guess

what, now your sister's in
Calabasas, home, and doesn't

want to see you.
So it's, like, what did you

solve? Whatever.

A good set. ♪ ♪

KOURTNEY: I just want a
couple bites.

Oh, thank you.
HOWARD: Oh, thanks.

KOURTNEY: Khloe just wrote to
the group chat, "Why is Kourtney"

in D.C."? (Howard laughs)

And I go, "I'm lobbying."
And she's like, "Yeah, right."

I'll call Khloe. (Line ringing)

KHLOE: Hello? KOURTNEY: Hi.

So, I came to Washington, D.C.,
and I literally, this morning I

had to get... go in front of the
Senate, and literally, I...

It was a Q & A, so I was sitting
in a chair, like, with this guy

who... from this organization
called EWG.

So I'm here to try to, like...
I was lobbying, and just to,

like, get them to try to make
some changes.

HOWARD: She k*lled it.
I have a video.

KHLOE: Kourtney, I'm so proud
of you.

Oh, my God!
KOURTNEY: And they...

KHLOE: I'm so, so proud of you.

KOURTNEY: Thank you.
And so, um, I was like, "Of

course it's coming out..."
KHLOE: I can't believe you

had the... KOURTNEY: The balls?

KHLOE: Like, the... Yeah.
KOURTNEY: I just feel like

you guys are so judgmental about
everything I do, and you guys

will be like, "Oh, please.
You're going to help with the"

"beauty laws," or something.
I don't know. Organic.

KHLOE: Prove me wrong every
day of the week.

I'm fine with that.
KOURTNEY: Um...

KHLOE: I love when you prove
me wrong.

Listen, when I looked online, I
was like, "What?!"

(Kourtney laughs)
What year is this?

I go, "Where have I been?"
HOWARD: That's amazing.

KOURTNEY: The news got out
that I'm in D.C.

It was nice to hear Khloe say
how proud she was of me for

really going and trying to make
a difference.

I feel so good about the way
that I spent the last two days,

and I've learned so much.
And I really want to just keep

doing more of this.
I have to make a phone call

later. I've just been, you know,

meeting with Congress and
Senate.

HOWARD: You're passing
legislation.

KHLOE: You've been lobbying
all day.

KOURTNEY: And the House of
Representatives.

Is that what it's called?
(laughs)

♪ ♪

KIM: Knock, knock.
KHLOE: Who's there?

KIM: Hi, guys.
KOURTNEY: Kim, you're so

skinny, you look like a
bobblehead.

KHLOE: Oh, I love when I look
like a bobblehead.

KIM: What?
KOURTNEY: You're so skinny.

KHLOE: That's the best
compliment.

KIM: Thank you!
I don't want to have any more

distance between me and Khloe.
I want to, you know, hang out

with our babies and enjoy my
time with my sisters.

So I'm gonna extend an olive
branch, 'cause, I mean, that's

really all I can do.

Where's Tristan?
KHLOE: In the theater.

KIM: Should I go say hi to
my bestie?

KHLOE: Can I go with you?
KIM: No, I can handle it.

KHLOE: Oh, my God.
Kim going into the theater to

see Tristan, obviously, like, my
heart is racing.

I have a ton of anxiety.
I don't want just to have

fighting in the house.
KIM: Where's my bestie?

KIM: Where's my bestie?
KHLOE: Uh-oh.

Give me your audio thing.
I need to hear what's happening.

Oh, my God. ]] KIM: Hi.

TRISTAN: What's going on?
KIM: Um...

Have you ever played pickleball?
KHLOE: She's like, "Have you"

ever played pickleball?"
KIM: It's like a mix between

tennis and Ping-Pong.

KOURTNEY: Are you on a phone
call?

KHLOE: What phone would I be on?

KIM: So, it's a smaller
court, like a tennis court, but,

like, tiny.
TRISTAN: So, there's no

pickles? ]] KIM (laughing): No.

TRISTAN: Oh, okay, okay.
KIM: No pickles.

I have no idea how to even start
a conversation with Tristan.

Pickleball is the first thing
that popped into my head.

It was super awkward, but he's
an athlete.

I just thought maybe talking
about sports would be common

ground. I'm such a good athlete.

Have you ever seen me ski?
TRISTAN: You can ski?

KIM: What?
Have you ever seen my video,

or was I blocked at that point?
TRISTAN: No, no, uh, no, I

didn't see it. KIM: Okay, look.

KHLOE: She's showing him the
videos, um...

KOURTNEY: From skiing?
KHLOE: From skiing to prove

what a good athlete she is.
TRISTAN: Holy (bleep).

KIM: So I'm a good athlete.
TRISTAN: You're legit.

KIM: No, no, no.
TRISTAN: You do winter

sports. KIM: I'm legitimately a

really, really, really good
athlete.

TRISTAN: So you're coming for
Lindsey Vonn's spot?

KIM: No.
TRISTAN: You know who that

is? ]] KIM: Yes, of course.

She dated Tiger Woods.
TRISTAN: Yeah, she did.

KIM: And she's a professional
skier.

I'm really, really good.
KHLOE: I like that they're

having a moment, so I won't
intrude.

KIM: I bet you I can b*at you
in some kind of sport, though.

What do you...?
TRISTAN: Only winter sports.

KIM: It's on. Challenge.
TRISTAN: May the best of us

win. Yeah. ]] KIM: Challenge.

TRISTAN: Calabasas versus
Hidden Hills. Yeah.

KIM: Yes. Yes, that's a good
one.

I just challenged Tristan to a
game of pickleball.

I realized that, why am I
fighting this fight if no one

else is?
I'm not gonna spend my time

angry at someone else for
something that they didn't do to

me. I'm gonna move on, if that's

what Khloe chooses to do.
I'm gonna be supportive of her.

TRISTAN: First of all, I
thought you were gonna play

this.
KHLOE: I am, 'cause I can't

do pickleball? Can you?
You don't even know what that

is.
I just heard of it yesterday.

TRISTAN: Actually, I did.
I did know, I know how it is

now. Yeah.
The combination of Ping-Pong

and, uh, tennis.
KHLOE: Oh, true.

KOURTNEY: It has a lot of rules.

KHLOE: No, there's a lot of
rules.

You have to stay out of the
kitchen and do some...

TRISTAN: I just thought that
Kim had the least athletic gene

out of all three of you guys.
KHLOE: This one does.

KIM: Kourtney does for sure.
TRISTAN: She works out every

day. KOURTNEY: How good am I in

the gym? TRISTAN: You're good.

You've gotten much better.
Your lather's becoming a sweat

now. ]] KOURTNEY: Yeah.

KIM: Do you think I should
ask this guy to unblock me?

TRISTAN: Dismissed.
KIM: There's no going back.

TRISTAN: There's no going
back now.

You're here now.

(birds singing)
KHLOE: Oh, and this is what

we're getting True.
LARSA: Are you cool with him

now? KIM: Yeah. It's all good.

My relationship with Tristan...
It's a work in progress, but it

is just really important to move
forward.

We're such a close family.
We're one big family.

You just have to just move on
and get over it.

TRISTAN: (bleep)
KHLOE: Don't hurt yourself.

KOURTNEY: Oh, my God.
Did you hit the tree?

TRISTAN: No, no, I almost...
I didn't know it was that

bouncy.
KHLOE: Do you know how to do

this? TRISTAN: I'll go with no

socks. LARSA: Tristan, I'm glad

you're living your best life!
KHLOE: Have you ever been on

a trampoline?
TRISTAN: Uh... maybe.

KOURTNEY: This is, like, a
real deal trampoline.

KHLOE: We're gonna get that
for True.

No, don't do that.
KOURTNEY: Were you gonna try

to flip? ]] TRISTAN: Yeah.

I don't know if I...
KHLOE: Can you flip in real

life? ]] TRISTAN: I can do a

cartwheel. KHLOE: No, you can't.

TRISTAN: Back in ...
KHLOE: Kourtney can.

Show him your cartwheel skills.
Look at this.

(laughing): Oh, yeah.
You know I can't do it.

LARSA: This is the life.
(children squealing)

NORTH: One, two...
KIM: Being here, swimming,

hanging out with my kids, with
my family... this is the dream.

This is what I love to do.
I mean, even having Tristan

here... it's just...
We're all together.

It's so much fun, and this is
what life's all about.

KOURTNEY: We're gonna...
we're gonna race.

KIM: One. ]] KOURTNEY: One.

ALL: Two. Three.
(indistinct chatter)

KOURTNEY: My top fell off!
KIM: On the next episode...

KRIS: I just got a call from
Shelli.

She wants to put together this
huge poker tournament.

MAN: Ready to learn some poker?

KIM: Don't underestimate...
No, underestimate me.

I prefer it. I'm all in.

(Kris whoops)
So, I think I'm gonna go to.

Paris and go to the Louis
Vuitton show.

KHLOE: How do you feel now?
KIM: I'm going really

cautiously, but you never know
what could happen.

(indistinct shouting)