04x26 - Tell It to Mom

[bunniefuu]

[Announcer] Here are...

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin in...

[clunks]

[sighs]

That was a close one.

What was the big crisis
at your PTA meeting

that made it last so long?

Well, actually, it
wasn't the meeting.

It was Mrs. Cartly.

She stopped me on the way out

and insisted upon
telling me all her troubles.

Oh, will warmed-up
meatloaf be all right?

Sure, anything.

Put those away, will you, dear?

I wish people wouldn't
always confide in me.

I get to the point

where I'm carrying
so many confidences,

I don't dare say anything

for fear I'll be
talking out of turn.

Well, just don't listen.

It's not easy with
someone like Mrs. Cartly.

I will say she's having a
problem with her daughter Evelyn.

Who met some boy
at a roller skating place.

She doesn't approve of the boy,

so she tried to put a
stop to the romance.

Who are you talking
about, Mother?

Your friend Evelyn.

Oh.

Hello, Father.

- Open this will you, dear?
- Hello, princess.

But now Mrs. Cartly suspects

that Evelyn is secretly
meeting this boy

at the roller skating place.

- Better set the table, Betty.
- Oh, all right.

In fact she suspects that
one of Evelyn's girlfriends

is secretly aiding this romance

by keeping Evelyn's
skates at her house.

Oh-ho, fine.

Thank goodness you don't
have the kind of boyfriend

that someone has to smuggle
roller skates so you can see him.

Did you know Evelyn
was doing a thing like that?

Yes, I believe I
did hear something,

but I also heard the
boy actually very nice.

Well, that's not the point.

The point is she's deceiving
her mother, defying her.

Now, would you do a thing
like that? Of course not.

No. I'm gonna set the table.

Kids, but I suppose
they just reflect

the training they get
from their parents.

Oh.

I saw a terrific
sale on binoculars

and thought about Bud's
birthday coming up in a few weeks.

So I bought these. Only $..

But actually, they're not bad.

Oh, that's a good idea,

but I don't know how you're
gonna keep them hidden

from Bud for three weeks.
He's a regular birddog.

Oh, I'll find a
place to hide them.

When it comes to hiding places,

these kids aren't as crafty
as they think they are.

Are they?

What was he talking about?

Oh, a present he bought for Bud.

When you get through setting
the table, will you make a salad?

Yes, all right.

Mother, there's something
I have to confide in you,

but remember now this is
in the strictest confidence.

You sound just like Mrs. Cartly.

Please, please,
don't tell Father,

but I'm the one.

The one what?

The one who's helping Evelyn.

Helping Ev...

You mean about
the skates and all?

Yes, I have and they're
up in my closet right now.

Actually I didn't think I
was doing anything so bad.

Just helping a friend.

Father made it sound so awful.

Well, it's not about...

I know the boy she's going with,

and he's really very nice.

It's her mother that's
causing all the trouble.

She's being very unfair.

Well, that be
true. I don't know.

Even so, you shouldn't
get mixed up in this.

I know I certainly
wouldn't like it

if you were
conspiring against me.

But you wouldn't be so
unfair and so unreasonable.

No? You just try
sneaking off to meet boys

- and you'll find out
how I can be.
- But, Mother...

Look, this is something

for Evelyn and her
mother to work out.

Not you.

Besides, this is a deception.

And deceptions only
lead to more deceptions.

And then onto trouble.

Now, about those skates. Is
Evelyn going to pick them up here?

Yes, she'll start
off at the library,

but then she'll come
here, get the skates,

and meet Tony at
the roller skating place.

All right. Now,
when she gets here,

you give her the skates,

but you tell her that
this is the end, okay?

Oh, all right. I
guess you're right.

I'll do it, but you'll have
to promise me one thing.

Don't tell Father.

Well, I don't usually
keep things from him,

but I guess there's no
use in distressing him,

and as long as you're
going to put a stop to this...

Oh, promise. I
mean really promise.

- Of course.
- Thanks.

I just couldn't stand
to have Father think

what I know he'd think of me

if he ever thought
what I think he'd think.

No, Kip, I think your
theory is all wrong.

Now, take glass, for example.

Why is it you
can see through it,

but you can't hear through it
and you can't blow through it?

- Hey, what's the matter?
- Shh.

[chuckles]

What did he hide?

I don't know, but I know
the easiest way to find out.

Here, grab my legs
and don't let me fall.

I didn't tell you
to break my legs.

Hey, what's in the
sack? Come on.

Look at these binoculars.

Wow, I wish I had some of these.

Hey, they're not
bad for cheap ones.

Hey, Bud, why do you suppose
your old man was hiding them?

Probably didn't want me
to find them and ruin them

before he had a chance
to use them himself.

I better put these back before
something happens to them.

It'd be just my luck.

Hey, this time just hold
me legs. Don't fracture them.

[clunks]

What was that noise?

Uh-Oh, did they break?

What do you think?

Boy, what a dope I am.

I let them slip right
out of the sack.

Yeah, but what are
you gonna do now?

Well, I got to get some new
ones before Dad finds out.

Hey, you got any cash?

A buck, maybe.

Well, that's not
going to do any good.

[snaps]

You got anything to sell?

You can always raise some
money selling something

down at Mad Charlie's Swap Shop.

Why, he might even
have some binoculars

that he'd swap
you for something.

Oh, what have I got
to swap? Let's see.

[Margaret] Bud?
Where are you, Bud?

Hey, look, you climb
down in the basement

and get the evidence
out of there right away.

Bud!

Coming, Mom.

Hurry up, hurry
up. I'll be right back.

Okay.

[Bud] Coming, Mom.

Well, find Kathy, and both
of you come in to dinner.

[Bud] Okay.

Kathy!

Where are you?

Hey, Kathy, dinner's
ready. Where are you?

Hey, Kathy.

Hey, come on.

Where were you? I've
been screaming my head off.

I heard you, I'm going.

Well, hurry up.

Mom wants you
in there right now.

Look it, tell her I'll be in
in a few minutes. Hurry.

Boy, you sure did a good
job on these. Broke both lens.

Did you think of
anything to swap?

I don't know. Would a
baseball mitt do any good?

Nah, Mad Charlie wouldn't
give you nothing for that.

Overstocked.

I don't know
what I got to trade.

What the heck is this?

Roller skates
with paint on them.

How do you suppose
these ever got here?

Well, are they Betty's?

No, they don't belong
to anyone around here.

Well, there's your
answer. Swap those.

I can't swap them.
They're not mine.

Well, they're in
your car, aren't they?

- Well yeah...
- Okay.

My uncle's a part-time lawyer,

and he says possession
is nine points of the law.

Besides, you're desperate.

Yeah, okay.

Look, I can't leave right now,

but I'll be your friend for life

if you'll take these
skates down to Charlie's

and see if he has any
binoculars like those.

And get back here with
them right away, okay?

Okay.

What do I put these in?

Oh, here use these.

What's keeping Bud outside?

We never will get
this dinner organized.

- What was he doing?
- Oh, I don't know.

Daddy, what's good to take
spilled paint off of things?

Why? What did
you spill paint on?

I was just asking in
case it ever did happen.

Well, I'm trying to
learn things like that.

So when I grow up and
my children spill paint,

I'll know what to do.

I see.

So what would you use?

Oh, paint remover. Turpentine.

Do we have any?

No.

But I'm sure you'll have
plenty of time to stock up on it

before your children
start slopping paint around.

Mommy,

I got to talk to you serious.

In strict confidence.

You do? Well, not now.

We'd better eat. Your
father's starving. Come on.

Wait, I did spill some paint.

Oh?

On something of Betty's,

and you know
what she'll do to me

if she finds out.

Oh, dear, what was it?

Well, you see, I happened to be

in Betty's room, in her closet.

- In her closet?
- Well, sort of.

And I accidentally saw her

put some roller skates in there.

Roller skates?

Is that what you
spilled the paint on?

Out in the garage.

Oh, Kathy, Kathy.
Those aren't Betty's.

They belong to a friend of hers,

and she's coming
to get them tonight.

- Now...
- Shh.

Mother, I just happened
to think of something.

Uh, when a certain person comes

to pick up her you-know-what,

don't let Father go to the door.

He mustn't see her.

Yes, yes, all right.

Will you see what's keeping Bud?

Okay.

So what do we do?

Just don't say
anything about it,

and then, right after dinner,

I'll help you take the
paint off the skates.

Come along, let's eat.

I may be imagining this,

but it seems to me that everyone

has been strangely
quiet and jittery tonight.

Seem that way to you?

What?

No, I haven't noticed anything.

In fact you've been
practically silent and brooding

as though you were carrying the
problems the whole world on your mind.

No, no, there's
nothing on my mind.

Uh, Kathy, would you
please pass the Evelyn?

I mean the gravy.

Pass the Evelyn?

Oh, it's a silly thing to say.

Oh.

Her name popped into my mind.

I guess I'm thinking
about that conversation

you and Mother were
having before dinner.

Oh.

You know, I was
thinking about that, too.

And it seems to me

that if Evelyn
and her girl friend

had any sense at all,

they'd know that sooner or later

their little deception
would be found out

and that it would go twice as
hard on them. Don't you agree?

Oh, I certainly do. In fact...

[doorbell chimes]

Oh, no, Father, sit down.

I'm gonna get it.

Bud, come back.
It's probably for me.

There, you see?

They're flying apart
like a $. watch.

Just nerves, I guess.

I'm kind of nervous,
too. Aren't you, Mommy?

No, I...

If you're through eating
you can run next door for me

to Myrtle Davis. Ask if I
can borrow some sugar.

Sugar?

And some turpentine.

It was just Kippy.

Well, didn't the swap shop
have any binoculars at all?

Just some expensive
ones. bucks on up.

But Mad Charlie finally
agreed to buy the skates.

Here bucks isn't much, but
if you got cents to go with it.

- It'll do the job.
- Well, how do you mean?

They got some binoculars
exactly your dad's

on sale at the
surplus store for $..

That's probably
where he got his.

Well, why didn't you buy some?

Well, they weren't open tonight.

Oh, well, thanks a lot,
Kipp. You're a real pal.

Look, I'll make this
up to you someway.

I got to be getting
back in there.

Thanks again, boy.

Oh, okay.

Where's your friend Kippy?
Why didn't you invite him in?

Oh, he was, uh, in a
big hurry. Had to rush.

What is all this rush and hurry?

Is it something catching?

I've never seen
you and Betty so...

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Hey, Ralph.

The intercontinental
m*ssile project could use her.

Forgive me for
calling you Ralph, but...

Well, I'll explain it later. I'll
go up and get the skates.

Oh, no, you better
stay here, Evelyn.

I don't want Father to
know what's going on.

Why, did he say something?

Well, he...

I'll explain that later, too.

All right, but hurry.

What happened to Ralph?

Oh, he was in a
big hurry. He, uh...

He had to rush.

No wonder these
kids are so nervous.

The way they think, they
have to rush all the time.

- Hey, Mom.
- Oh!

I'm in kind of a jam.
I need your help.

- Can you keep a secret?
- Secret?

Oh, no, I'm carrying
more secrets

than I can handle right now.

This is real important.

Dad, brought home some
binoculars today and...

What?

How did you know about those?

Just by pure accident.

I happened to
watch him hide them.

Oh, no.

Well, like a knucklehead,

I took them out
and dropped them.

And they broke.

What a day this is?

Look, I raised some money
to get some new ones.

So look, you take this,

and tomorrow morning
you sneak downtown...

Sneak?

Well, go downtown.
Just don't let Dad know.

Now, look, Bud...

You can get the same kind at
the w*r surplus store for only $..

- Bud, would you please...
- We'll put them back
in Dad's hidden place.

He'll never know...

[Kathy] Mommy, Mommy,
come outside. Hurry.

Now, you wait here.
I'll be right back.

I'm not sure I'm in
favor of your plan.

I'm coming.

Boy, Mommy,
we're in trouble now.

- The skates are gone.
- Gone?

Oh, they can't be. Where
did you leave them?

Well, hid them in the seat
here and some old newspapers.

And now they're gone.

Well, where could they...

Why, Bud's car has
been right here all the time.

He didn't drive it anywhere.

I know he didn't, but...

[Betty] Mother!

Oh, dear, she's
been up to her closet

and found out the
skates aren't there.

Mother, I can't find
them. They're not in my...

Kathy, have you been
snooping in my closet?

Huh?

You know where a certain
pair of roller skates are?

No, I don't know where any
skates are. Honest, I don't.

Now, listen, this
is very important.

She doesn't know.
I can vouch for that.

What am I gonna do?

Evelyn is standing out there

waiting for me to
bring them to her.

She can't wait much longer.

Yes, um, well...

Well, you go back
and talk to Evelyn.

Don't keep her
waiting out there alone.

Tell her, um...

Well, tell her anything.

And in the mean
time I'll hunt for them.

All right, but whatever
you do, do it fast.

Oh, thanks for not
giving me away.

Yes, well, now, let's see.

You say you put
them in Bud's car.

Oh, I wonder if he knows
anything about them.

Now, you keep hunting out here,

and I'll go in and
check with him.

Okay, Mom, you say
you're not in favor of my plan,

but the sooner we
get those binoculars...

Never mind about that now.

The less chance
that be that Dad...

Bud, please.

Just tell me this. Did
you by any chance

find a pair of roller
skates in your car?

- Roller skates?
- Yes.

Shoe skates. Girl's.

Well, yeah, I did.

You did? Oh, where are they?

Over at Mad Charlie's Swap Shop.

Mad Charlie's Swap Shop?

Yeah, Kippy sold them.
That's how we got this money.

Oh, no.

I didn't know they belonged
to anyone around here.

Well, they were in my car.
And Kippy says possession is...

But why do you listen to him?

Now, look, you rush right down
to Mad Charlie's Swap Shop

and buy those skates back.

Oh, Mom, we need the money.

Don't argue with me, just do it.

And hurry as fast as you...

Oh, no, no, no,
no. It's no use now.

We're in too deep.

Look, you just go out and
tell Kathy to come inside

and then both of you
come into the living room.

Why?

Please, Bud, don't
ask any questions.

Just do it.

- Well...
- Go.

I stalled her
off for a little bit,

but she can't wait much
longer. Did you find the skates?

Uh, yes, I did.

You did? Where were they?

Well, you'll never guess.

Where's Evelyn now?

Waiting around
at the front door.

- Fine, come along.
- Where we going?

To clear up the baffling case
of the disappearing skates.

Huh?

- Oh, boy.
- Kid, Mom said to hurry.

Now, then, Betty,

find yourself a nice
comfortable seat.

Right there will be fine.

Here we are, Mom.

That's fine. Sit
down, both of you.

That's it. Now, then...

[chuckles]

Well,

Evelyn Cartly.

Well, don't stand out there.

Come in.

Jim, you've met Evelyn
Cartly, haven't you?

Oh, yes, of course.
How are you, Evelyn?

Oh, I'm fine, thank you.

Oh, won't you sit down, Evelyn?

Oh, well, I really
have to be going.

Yes, of course.

Well, then, Evelyn,

I understand you came here
to pick up your roller skates.

Well, yes, I did.

Well, that's fine.

But unfortunately, due to a
rather odd set of circumstance

the skate aren't here.

They're at Mad
Charlie's Swap Shop.

Swap shop?

Yes.

However, Bud still has
the $. he sold them for,

so it won't be too much
trouble to buy the skates back.

Sold them, so you took
them out of my closet.

- No, I didn't.
- No, he didn't.

The credit for that
one goes to Kathy.

Mommy, you said you wouldn't...

So it was you.
You little snooper.

She merely borrowed them.

Her big error was
hiding them in Bud's car.

And under Kippy's
brilliant counseling,

Bud reasoned that anything
found in his car was his.

So naturally, he sold them.

Oh, me.

Why, why did you
have to sell them?

Why?

Because he needed
the money to buy some...

But, Mom, you promised.

Some binoculars

to replace the ones
he accidentally broke.

Binoculars? What binoculars?

The ones you so awfully hid.

The ones you were going
to give Bud for his birthday.

You mean those were for me?

Oh, gosh. How dumb can a guy be?

Busting up his own present.

Wait a minute.

How did you find
those binoculars?

Oh, well, I didn't mean to, Dad.

Well, Kippy and I...

Well, it's kind
of funny, really.

You see, Kippy and I were right
outside the basement window.

And we just watched
you hide them.

You mean you
watched me go through

all that painstaking effort
to find a safe hiding...

[chuckles]

Great.

[all laugh]

Well, that's better.

I'm glad to see a few smiles,

instead of the
tragic guilty faces

I was looking at a moment ago.

Well, Mother, it
wasn't very funny

having Father rant and rave

about some low
miserable conspirator,

when all the time it was I.

And all the time I had those
tell-tale skates up in my closet.

Or at least I thought I
had them up in my closet.

Mad Charlie's Swap Shop?

[all laugh]

Oh, Evelyn, I know this
is pretty hard on you.

Oh, no.

No, really, Mrs. Anderson.

I think it's the best thing
that could of happened.

Best thing?

Well, how can you say that?

Well, since I've been
sneaking out to see Tony,

I haven't really been happy.

Actually, I've been miserable.

But I felt that I just
couldn't tell my mother

what I was doing.

But now, suddenly seeing

how much better and easier it is

to bring things out in the open,

now I think I can
tell her everything.

Evelyn, I'm awfully
glad to hear you say that.

In fact I'm going home
right now and do it.

While the smell of
this house is still on me.

I think you're on the
right track, Evelyn.

And I think your mother
is going to think so, too.

Hey, wait. Don't forget
your money for the skates.

Oh, thanks, but there's
no hurry about that.

To be honest,

I was getting kind of
sick of roller skating.

[both laugh]

From now on, if
Tony wants to see me,

he's going to have
to come to our house.

That's the way to talk.

Good night, Betty, and everyone.

Good night, Evelyn.

And thanks.

Well, go on. Say it.

Boy, Mom, did you cross me up.

Go on. Say it.

Well, I'll say it.

Boy, Mom, did you cross us up.

And, boy, Mom, how
thankful we are that you did it.

From now on,
let's keep it like this.

Everything above board.

If you're in trouble,
sure, tell it to Mom.

But don't load her up
with your conspiracies

and strictest confidence.

Don't transfer your
guilty consciences

to her shoulders and
then expect her to...

Mad Charlie's Swap Shop?

[all laugh]

Boy, I give up.