01x13 - Still Good Cop
Posted: 11/10/22 08:47
there's a great movie he's so cool we
had a mad scientist in our neighborhood
they could take us back in time well we
do have a neighborhood grossed up in his
basement that he says will take you back
in time by the way stay away from it
guys it's really late it's time for
everyone to be getting to bed vomits a
Friday night why can't we stay yeah
because you have dance class tomorrow
brian has karate and you both will be
exhausted what did that mean Oh sweetie
remember the last time you stayed up you
kept bumping into stuff the next day oh
yeah Judy the kids are really enjoying
the movie let us stay up a little later
all right fine make sure they brush
their teeth and put on their pajamas by
the next commercial no problem okay good
night guys no sleep on the couch you
hear me gotcha whatever warden hey how
are you kids better listen because if
the inmates get out of hand the warden
can get pretty ugly yeah she's right
behind me
oh that's three in the morning if you
been up this whole time yeah what are
you watching and I'm of how long does
that big animal been eating that small
animals I am time to turn it off honey
[Applause]
[Music]
bill wake up I can't be morning yet it
is morning three thirty in the morning
and I just put the kids to bed thanks to
you oh don't thank me Judy I do I'm not
going to sleep yet okay that's you're on
your own with this no I want to talk
okay not that kind of talk about the
kids I asked you to get them to bed and
you just let them do what they wanted
I'm sorry won't happen again yes it will
I know I just want you to know there's a
perfectly good reason for what happened
oh yeah what is it Phil who is sick of
always being the bad cop oh you get to
be the good cop you don't always have to
be the bad cop like tonight what's the
worst that could have happened the kids
wake up in the living room on Saturday
morning on the bright side Judy if they
start to like it we can run out the
rooms so I should be more fun like you
great why don't I wake them up and take
them to a rave honey of Raving here what
nothing
all right you know what we'll talk about
this in the morning oh goody what'd you
say nothing jackass what did you say I
called you jackass hey what are you kids
doing this is dangerous something's
gonna get broken your mother and I have
told you a thousand times not to play
hockey in the living room she's not here
dead in that case Tina and I of the
Blackhawks on the ice he has a vendetta
hi honey we were just playing a game of
beach ball hockey no I'm the dory yeah
sorry don't worry about it looks like
you're having fun I got pizza I thought
we were only allowed to have pizza once
a week I made a little change to that
rule from now on we can have pizza
whenever we want wherever we want let's
eat it in front of the TV then maybe
later we'll clear out the furniture and
have a touch football game phone what's
going on why your father and I had a
little discussion last night he's
convinced me to be more fun so that's
what I'm gonna do come on pizza's
getting cold okay kids get someplace we
don't get sauce all over the couch Oh
Phil what's your problem you got a tea
party plan she's like nah be
Wow sausage onion and bacon I thought we
weren't allowed to have this kind of
pizza since dad's 90,000 trombones Oh
what windows are for come on kids dig in
you know yeah what are you doing I'm
eating ice cream no I hasn't come on
yeah kami you can't have ice cream until
after dinner unless it's in a delicious
root beer float then it's just a
beverage Judy all that sugars gonna make
them crazy you're right i'm going to eat
my pizza in the bathtub leaving me alone
with them and taking a bath get out of
my way you'll get out of my way make me
Oh Brian I wouldn't take that from her
good luck first aid kits under the sink
morning honey what you doing I'm just
cleaning up the stains from last night's
dinner after un upstairs all hell broke
loose Tina ate too much ice cream and
started jumping up and down on the couch
which set off Ryan's motion sickness
Laura laughs so hard she shot root beer
float through or no oh I can't after all
that yeah well I see what you're doing
and I just want you to know I've learned
my lesson you're sick of always being
the bad cop and i already make your job
harder when i undermine your authority I
get it now everybody back to normal on
three one two hey Phil I have to ask you
something have the kids had breakfast
yeah and they're all right yeah and the
house is clean well it's not sticky
anymore what do you mean huh I gotta be
honest I did sink all hell would break
loose but I thought you wouldn't know
what to do and you panic and come
running to me but you didn't it was
pretty rough but I got through it
exactly you can do this
I'm saying that last night I read two
chapters of my book in the bathtub the
bathtub and then I got nine hours of
sleep feels like being on vacation no no
it was better it was like being alone on
vacation and three now everybody's back
to normal no I don't make good cop you
pick up the slack the kids are far so
beautiful no no they're not fine Brian
got practically died good luck with that
stay in a little club soda ought to do
the trick Judy you can't change the
natural order of the universe they can't
forget a baseball no I get back you
didn't if you are turnest as a table no
it's not I am through the dishwasher I
am saved the dishwasher notes at the
table you can say enough this happens
every night you argue for 15 minutes
over something that takes 10 seconds to
do your mother sick of it is that right
to me huh yeah you're sick of this right
oh I wasn't really listening I was just
thinking how this bell pepper sort of
looks like Jay Leno I hope you two are
happy you've gotten your mother really
angry she doesn't seem angry that's when
she's at her scariest she's so angry
she's smiling hey know what if we put
all this food in tortillas we don't need
plates my god now she's fretting any
more fun what are we gonna do Brian are
still respect the table whatever you
don't have to yeah I'm not yelling I'm
emphasizing daddy now cereal for dinner
ask your mother fine with me if it's
fine with your father what can i daddy
no
honey cereal for breakfast you eat it
for dinner your body you'll think it's
morning you won't be able to get to
sleep and monsters will come here I want
cereal well you can't have it why
because I on the father in this house
and what I say go okay that's it could
you go upstairs and leave us alone well
I can't go upstairs count drunk and I
might be hiding under my bed it's over
Julie what's over here when I said to
Tina I sounded just like my father and I
refuse to sound just like my father like
you turn that crap down I just did it
again that's it that's it I'm done being
bad cop also i'm supposed to swoop back
in and start yelling no thanks I've had
a taste of being a good cop and I like
it I like a lot Wow laughs maybe but
your plan has one fatal flaw you can
only be good cop as long as I'm willing
to be bad cop the minute I quit I'm back
to square one so guess what I quit it's
so quick tips I can you know that means
Judy there are two good cops in town
good cops it should be fun uh yeah
sounds like fun now but by tomorrow
those kids will be running around like
monkeys and a donut or you want a donut
shop exactly when that happens which one
of us do you think is gonna blink for us
I guess we'll just have to wait and see
come on Judy you've been good cop for a
day and a half I've been on the force my
entire life oh yeah hey you can have
cereal for dinner hey Tina would you
rather have cake I'll see you in hell
[Music]
yeah my mom hey we do is make myself a
sandwich what one ice cream and
chocolate chip cookies aren't you gonna
ruin your dinner not if I don't need
dinner till midnight that's a good time
you know we don't really have that x
anymore around so are you aware that
your children are running a muck I have
no problem with that Highness me place
looks like a hit by a tornado Brett what
are you doing I'm a dead let me keep the
VCR apart I wanted to see if I can food
back together can you yes what's that
part well then note hey going on here
and do you have any laughs going on we
decided to let our children do whatever
they want dinner's ready someone has to
eat it if they don't want to okay I see
what's going on here and I think it's I
think it's really selfish of the both of
you know I told you I was bringing over
the pictures of my cat so I took for my
photography class and this is just your
way of getting rid of me if you don't
have to look at those got us guilty as
charged to the door opening the door I'm
closing
[Music]
hey you know hey was that ice cream
sandwich I let you have fine kind of
throwing though I think I gotta skip
dinner oh hey that's cool who says cool
anymore kid stuff I call oh cool right
on mom dad ha Bill and Judy still and
Judy but you know how I've been begging
you guys to let me get a belly button
ring yeah well since you guys have been
so cool lately I thought maybe I could
get one so can I bill can't I Judy you
guys are cool with this I get it oh no
no no it's it's cool with me all kinds
of cool you just got to ask your mother
no I knew it I mean no you don't have to
ask me if your father says yes and the
answer is yes oh you are the best thank
you so much don't mention it get me
tomorrow take you tomorrow yeah sometime
only 13 I have to have a parent
accompany me so can you dad I mean bill
oh yeah sure oh thank you so much you're
the best uh-huh it's like I'm taking my
little girl again her belly button
pierced sure does so you're getting
ready to blink not even close really me
neither see these eyes wide open baby oh
yeah
how was karate I broke a board with my
head really well actually I lost my
balance trying to kick and fell into a
wall but a board did break are you honey
so Lauren's getting their belly button
pierced huh we're cool is it ok cool
parents got it ok you know Harmon you
are cool can I Drive the car what just
for a little bit Randy Moss cops only 14
he gets to drive a car all the time
don't have a friend named Randy mascot
no but mom no snow on the ground and I
promise I'll be careful I said no just
around this parking lot over there it's
totally empty Brian I am sorry you can't
drive fine this dad would what you say
dad he let me drive then again he's the
phone one yes dizzy are you doing switch
places you mean it yes my god I can't
believe this is happening ok the
important thing is keep your hands on
the wheel at all times ten and two
really cuz dad's hands are usually at
noon and his nose well I'm going to
teach you the right way ok grab that
handle there and very slowly put it into
drive slowly yes man you want to be
honest like when you do that Brian which
one's the Prairie why don't you laugh
Wow I keep seeing that squirrel me too
and then those bushes me too and then
that dumpster mommy needs to see next a
beer when you get to the kitchen the
fridge is on your left Hey Judy bill sit
down what's going on well Brian asked me
if he could drive the car and let's just
say I'm not playing this good cop bad
cop game anymore because you wouldn't
let him huh you bleep no actually I
didn't I let him drive it when we hit
the dumpster we all blinked squirrely
ran over he'll never blink again let him
drive I know it was stupid but he asked
and I didn't want to be bad cop I know
he asked but you weren't supposed to let
him wait a minute what nothing oh what a
month to it oh I did Brian did your
father put you up to it yes wow I don't
believe you you were supposed to say no
you were supposed to blame I didn't say
nobody kept asking what you were
supposed to stop asking once she said no
I know I really wanted to drive the kid
my judgments not very good
okay honey no it's not this house is out
of control we need boundaries okay
there's sticky come on I'm gonna get you
a bath and a hot meal I can't believe
you made him ask me to drive I can't
believe you let him drive I guess we're
both idiots oh my god weren't belly
button me home worried she didn't go
through with it we went into the place
and this big Pierce guy came in with a
huge needle she got scared and asked
daddy to take her home you blinked
didn't you of course I did she was
checking out tattoo she was never gonna
blink glad one of us use good judgment
today so I guess this means that days of
two good cops are over oh yeah I sure
will miss reading in the tub I can be
bad cop every once in a while I'm not
gonna lie to you Judy it's nice pushing
small people around thanks Bill yeah
don't mention it the phone and start
your homework Oh Oh fine can be bad cop
till the kids go to bed and I'll be bad
cop for the rest of the night well we
won't need a bad cop once kids good
Oh officer I'm a bad bad girl driving
down a deserted country hey Brian you're
a quick thinker right yeah you know
ashes room I teachers we make it work
yeah very funny dad although I don't
think mom would find it very funny I
don't care what your mother thinks dad
she's right behind you oh isn't it funny
how your mother's always right back I'll
tell you one thing if she is she can
kiss my butt anyone on there Judy right
cheek or left nice try Lauren bill are
you gonna turn around at the ends don't
you want a little more of this
[Music]
had a mad scientist in our neighborhood
they could take us back in time well we
do have a neighborhood grossed up in his
basement that he says will take you back
in time by the way stay away from it
guys it's really late it's time for
everyone to be getting to bed vomits a
Friday night why can't we stay yeah
because you have dance class tomorrow
brian has karate and you both will be
exhausted what did that mean Oh sweetie
remember the last time you stayed up you
kept bumping into stuff the next day oh
yeah Judy the kids are really enjoying
the movie let us stay up a little later
all right fine make sure they brush
their teeth and put on their pajamas by
the next commercial no problem okay good
night guys no sleep on the couch you
hear me gotcha whatever warden hey how
are you kids better listen because if
the inmates get out of hand the warden
can get pretty ugly yeah she's right
behind me
oh that's three in the morning if you
been up this whole time yeah what are
you watching and I'm of how long does
that big animal been eating that small
animals I am time to turn it off honey
[Applause]
[Music]
bill wake up I can't be morning yet it
is morning three thirty in the morning
and I just put the kids to bed thanks to
you oh don't thank me Judy I do I'm not
going to sleep yet okay that's you're on
your own with this no I want to talk
okay not that kind of talk about the
kids I asked you to get them to bed and
you just let them do what they wanted
I'm sorry won't happen again yes it will
I know I just want you to know there's a
perfectly good reason for what happened
oh yeah what is it Phil who is sick of
always being the bad cop oh you get to
be the good cop you don't always have to
be the bad cop like tonight what's the
worst that could have happened the kids
wake up in the living room on Saturday
morning on the bright side Judy if they
start to like it we can run out the
rooms so I should be more fun like you
great why don't I wake them up and take
them to a rave honey of Raving here what
nothing
all right you know what we'll talk about
this in the morning oh goody what'd you
say nothing jackass what did you say I
called you jackass hey what are you kids
doing this is dangerous something's
gonna get broken your mother and I have
told you a thousand times not to play
hockey in the living room she's not here
dead in that case Tina and I of the
Blackhawks on the ice he has a vendetta
hi honey we were just playing a game of
beach ball hockey no I'm the dory yeah
sorry don't worry about it looks like
you're having fun I got pizza I thought
we were only allowed to have pizza once
a week I made a little change to that
rule from now on we can have pizza
whenever we want wherever we want let's
eat it in front of the TV then maybe
later we'll clear out the furniture and
have a touch football game phone what's
going on why your father and I had a
little discussion last night he's
convinced me to be more fun so that's
what I'm gonna do come on pizza's
getting cold okay kids get someplace we
don't get sauce all over the couch Oh
Phil what's your problem you got a tea
party plan she's like nah be
Wow sausage onion and bacon I thought we
weren't allowed to have this kind of
pizza since dad's 90,000 trombones Oh
what windows are for come on kids dig in
you know yeah what are you doing I'm
eating ice cream no I hasn't come on
yeah kami you can't have ice cream until
after dinner unless it's in a delicious
root beer float then it's just a
beverage Judy all that sugars gonna make
them crazy you're right i'm going to eat
my pizza in the bathtub leaving me alone
with them and taking a bath get out of
my way you'll get out of my way make me
Oh Brian I wouldn't take that from her
good luck first aid kits under the sink
morning honey what you doing I'm just
cleaning up the stains from last night's
dinner after un upstairs all hell broke
loose Tina ate too much ice cream and
started jumping up and down on the couch
which set off Ryan's motion sickness
Laura laughs so hard she shot root beer
float through or no oh I can't after all
that yeah well I see what you're doing
and I just want you to know I've learned
my lesson you're sick of always being
the bad cop and i already make your job
harder when i undermine your authority I
get it now everybody back to normal on
three one two hey Phil I have to ask you
something have the kids had breakfast
yeah and they're all right yeah and the
house is clean well it's not sticky
anymore what do you mean huh I gotta be
honest I did sink all hell would break
loose but I thought you wouldn't know
what to do and you panic and come
running to me but you didn't it was
pretty rough but I got through it
exactly you can do this
I'm saying that last night I read two
chapters of my book in the bathtub the
bathtub and then I got nine hours of
sleep feels like being on vacation no no
it was better it was like being alone on
vacation and three now everybody's back
to normal no I don't make good cop you
pick up the slack the kids are far so
beautiful no no they're not fine Brian
got practically died good luck with that
stay in a little club soda ought to do
the trick Judy you can't change the
natural order of the universe they can't
forget a baseball no I get back you
didn't if you are turnest as a table no
it's not I am through the dishwasher I
am saved the dishwasher notes at the
table you can say enough this happens
every night you argue for 15 minutes
over something that takes 10 seconds to
do your mother sick of it is that right
to me huh yeah you're sick of this right
oh I wasn't really listening I was just
thinking how this bell pepper sort of
looks like Jay Leno I hope you two are
happy you've gotten your mother really
angry she doesn't seem angry that's when
she's at her scariest she's so angry
she's smiling hey know what if we put
all this food in tortillas we don't need
plates my god now she's fretting any
more fun what are we gonna do Brian are
still respect the table whatever you
don't have to yeah I'm not yelling I'm
emphasizing daddy now cereal for dinner
ask your mother fine with me if it's
fine with your father what can i daddy
no
honey cereal for breakfast you eat it
for dinner your body you'll think it's
morning you won't be able to get to
sleep and monsters will come here I want
cereal well you can't have it why
because I on the father in this house
and what I say go okay that's it could
you go upstairs and leave us alone well
I can't go upstairs count drunk and I
might be hiding under my bed it's over
Julie what's over here when I said to
Tina I sounded just like my father and I
refuse to sound just like my father like
you turn that crap down I just did it
again that's it that's it I'm done being
bad cop also i'm supposed to swoop back
in and start yelling no thanks I've had
a taste of being a good cop and I like
it I like a lot Wow laughs maybe but
your plan has one fatal flaw you can
only be good cop as long as I'm willing
to be bad cop the minute I quit I'm back
to square one so guess what I quit it's
so quick tips I can you know that means
Judy there are two good cops in town
good cops it should be fun uh yeah
sounds like fun now but by tomorrow
those kids will be running around like
monkeys and a donut or you want a donut
shop exactly when that happens which one
of us do you think is gonna blink for us
I guess we'll just have to wait and see
come on Judy you've been good cop for a
day and a half I've been on the force my
entire life oh yeah hey you can have
cereal for dinner hey Tina would you
rather have cake I'll see you in hell
[Music]
yeah my mom hey we do is make myself a
sandwich what one ice cream and
chocolate chip cookies aren't you gonna
ruin your dinner not if I don't need
dinner till midnight that's a good time
you know we don't really have that x
anymore around so are you aware that
your children are running a muck I have
no problem with that Highness me place
looks like a hit by a tornado Brett what
are you doing I'm a dead let me keep the
VCR apart I wanted to see if I can food
back together can you yes what's that
part well then note hey going on here
and do you have any laughs going on we
decided to let our children do whatever
they want dinner's ready someone has to
eat it if they don't want to okay I see
what's going on here and I think it's I
think it's really selfish of the both of
you know I told you I was bringing over
the pictures of my cat so I took for my
photography class and this is just your
way of getting rid of me if you don't
have to look at those got us guilty as
charged to the door opening the door I'm
closing
[Music]
hey you know hey was that ice cream
sandwich I let you have fine kind of
throwing though I think I gotta skip
dinner oh hey that's cool who says cool
anymore kid stuff I call oh cool right
on mom dad ha Bill and Judy still and
Judy but you know how I've been begging
you guys to let me get a belly button
ring yeah well since you guys have been
so cool lately I thought maybe I could
get one so can I bill can't I Judy you
guys are cool with this I get it oh no
no no it's it's cool with me all kinds
of cool you just got to ask your mother
no I knew it I mean no you don't have to
ask me if your father says yes and the
answer is yes oh you are the best thank
you so much don't mention it get me
tomorrow take you tomorrow yeah sometime
only 13 I have to have a parent
accompany me so can you dad I mean bill
oh yeah sure oh thank you so much you're
the best uh-huh it's like I'm taking my
little girl again her belly button
pierced sure does so you're getting
ready to blink not even close really me
neither see these eyes wide open baby oh
yeah
how was karate I broke a board with my
head really well actually I lost my
balance trying to kick and fell into a
wall but a board did break are you honey
so Lauren's getting their belly button
pierced huh we're cool is it ok cool
parents got it ok you know Harmon you
are cool can I Drive the car what just
for a little bit Randy Moss cops only 14
he gets to drive a car all the time
don't have a friend named Randy mascot
no but mom no snow on the ground and I
promise I'll be careful I said no just
around this parking lot over there it's
totally empty Brian I am sorry you can't
drive fine this dad would what you say
dad he let me drive then again he's the
phone one yes dizzy are you doing switch
places you mean it yes my god I can't
believe this is happening ok the
important thing is keep your hands on
the wheel at all times ten and two
really cuz dad's hands are usually at
noon and his nose well I'm going to
teach you the right way ok grab that
handle there and very slowly put it into
drive slowly yes man you want to be
honest like when you do that Brian which
one's the Prairie why don't you laugh
Wow I keep seeing that squirrel me too
and then those bushes me too and then
that dumpster mommy needs to see next a
beer when you get to the kitchen the
fridge is on your left Hey Judy bill sit
down what's going on well Brian asked me
if he could drive the car and let's just
say I'm not playing this good cop bad
cop game anymore because you wouldn't
let him huh you bleep no actually I
didn't I let him drive it when we hit
the dumpster we all blinked squirrely
ran over he'll never blink again let him
drive I know it was stupid but he asked
and I didn't want to be bad cop I know
he asked but you weren't supposed to let
him wait a minute what nothing oh what a
month to it oh I did Brian did your
father put you up to it yes wow I don't
believe you you were supposed to say no
you were supposed to blame I didn't say
nobody kept asking what you were
supposed to stop asking once she said no
I know I really wanted to drive the kid
my judgments not very good
okay honey no it's not this house is out
of control we need boundaries okay
there's sticky come on I'm gonna get you
a bath and a hot meal I can't believe
you made him ask me to drive I can't
believe you let him drive I guess we're
both idiots oh my god weren't belly
button me home worried she didn't go
through with it we went into the place
and this big Pierce guy came in with a
huge needle she got scared and asked
daddy to take her home you blinked
didn't you of course I did she was
checking out tattoo she was never gonna
blink glad one of us use good judgment
today so I guess this means that days of
two good cops are over oh yeah I sure
will miss reading in the tub I can be
bad cop every once in a while I'm not
gonna lie to you Judy it's nice pushing
small people around thanks Bill yeah
don't mention it the phone and start
your homework Oh Oh fine can be bad cop
till the kids go to bed and I'll be bad
cop for the rest of the night well we
won't need a bad cop once kids good
Oh officer I'm a bad bad girl driving
down a deserted country hey Brian you're
a quick thinker right yeah you know
ashes room I teachers we make it work
yeah very funny dad although I don't
think mom would find it very funny I
don't care what your mother thinks dad
she's right behind you oh isn't it funny
how your mother's always right back I'll
tell you one thing if she is she can
kiss my butt anyone on there Judy right
cheek or left nice try Lauren bill are
you gonna turn around at the ends don't
you want a little more of this
[Music]