05x37 - Margaret Goes Dancing (Flashback)

[bunniefuu]

("Father Knows Best" theme song)

- [Narrator] Robert Young,

and Jane Wyatt,

with Ellinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin,

in Father Knows Best.

- Dancing lessons?

Really?

How did you ever get Ed to agree to take dancing lessons?

- Oh, he loves it, he loves it!

You should see him doing the mambo.

Looks like an educated ox,

but I tell you, he thinks he's Fred Astaire.

- I think that's just wonderful.

- Actually, it's more fun, really,

and I feel years younger.

Why don't you and Jim goalong with us tonight?

- Oh, no, I don't think we can.

- Why not?

Now how often do you go to a dance?

- Well, we--

- Practically never.

Why?

- Well, because--

- Because of the children, because the house,

because of this,because of that.

Honey, you're in the same boat I was, the same boat!

I said to myself, "Myrtle, you're in a rut.

"Life is oozing by, and suddenly,

"you'll be an old woman and you'll say to yourself,

"what happened?"

- There, I think that's enough.

- Honey, you're not listening.

- Oh, yes, I am, but you know Jim.

I could never talk him into,

well, of all things, dancing lessons.

Have time for another cup?

- No, I've gotta run.

Listen, darling.

You don't talk husbands into things.

You put it a general's uniform on them,

and then you push them along,

and they think they're leading the parade.

- But Jim has such daffy ideas about being led into things,

about maintaining hismasculine independence.

- Oh, pooh.

You should have heardEd roar when I told him

I'd signed up for the course, but now he loves it.

Look, I'll call the school and have them sign you and Jim--

- Oh, no, no.

Really, really, I don'tthink this is for us.

- Well, suit yourself, but I hate to see you

grow old without a struggle.

- Watch out, mommy!

- You better come home now, Patty.

- In a minute, we gottaplay one more game!

- I'll see you, Margaret.

- Okay, ready, Kathy?

- Let it sing!

- No, no, Kathy, don't do that!

- Why, what's wrong with playing tennis?

- Well, nothing, except you don't play

tennis with a banjo.

You've been up in the attic again.

- Here, nobody ever uses it.

- That's no reason to ruin it.

- Here, come on, Patty.

- Mother, I'm going to go over to Janie's for a minute.

Well, what's that?

- Oh, it was your father's at one time.

- Father played the banjo?

- Well, I wouldn't say he actually played it,

but I remember it sounded pretty thrilling to me

when he used to serenade me with it.

Juanita.

That was his one song.

- Gee, it must be nice to have funny little things

like that to look back on when you get old.

I'll be right back.

- [Margaret] Now, Bud, don't start eating everything

and spoil your dinner.

- I'm not eating, this is just an appetizer.

- That, you need?

- Yeah, seems like lately

I haven't been hungry hardly at all.

Gee, mom, aren't you a little old to be taking up the banjo?

What's the matter, did I say something wrong?

- Myrtle!

Myrtle!

Myrtle!

- Dancing lessons, really?

Aw, I think that's wonderful.

I see no reason why parents shouldn't go on living

just like anybody else.

- Well, that's one way of putting it.

- When did you and father decide all of this?

- That's the trouble, your father doesn't know about it yet.

- He doesn't?

- No.

I'm afraid I let Mrs. Davis talk me into it.

I probably shouldn't have done it.

- I'm sure father'll like the idea.

- According to Mrs. Davis, he'll love it.

If I can just think ofa way of convincing him

he's leading the parade.

- What?

- Oh, nothing.

All I meant was that-- (door closes)

- [Jim] Margaret, I'm home!

- He's going upstairs.

Now when he comes down, just tell him.

Make him do it.

- That's not the way.

- What do you do, then?

- Daughter, I'm gonna let you in

on a wife's great secret about husbands.

- Oh?

- But first, I want you to know that

your father's a wonderful father,

and I couldn't have asked for a better husband,

but he's still a man.

- Well, naturally.

- And a male likes to feel thathe thinks up all the ideas,

so the tactful wife, by variousjustifiably devious methods,

plants the idea in his mind, and then lets him go ahead

and think it up, and everyone's happy.

- Oh, you mean that--

- Shhh.

- And must never suspect, and timing's important, too.

You've got to watch for the right moment.

- Hello, honey.

- Hello, general.

Jim.

- What's the matter, honey, anything wrong?

- No, no, of course not.

- Are you sure?

- Certainly.

Everything's fine.

- You know, you have thesame look on your face

you had the time you told me you were redecorating

the living room in chartreuse and black.

Oh, princess, how are you tonight?

- Oh, I'm fine.

How are you?

- Tired, real tired.

I've been staying up too late.

I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

(grunts)

Nine o'clock.

- This is not the moment.

- Oh, hello, son.

- Hi, dad.

(Jim laughing)

What's the joke?

- Ah?

- What's the laughing bit for?

- Ah, I don't know.

I was just thinking of the wonderful,

devious ways in which women work.

- Yeah (chuckling).

What's that mean?

- Bud, this is as good a time as any

for you to observe and learn the wonderful workings

of the feminine mind.

- Huh?

- You just watch.

Something is up.

- Yeah, up where?

- I mean your mother's planning something.

I don't know what it is,

but the symptoms are there.

Women are never so obvious as when

they're trying to hide something.

- Yeah.

What's she hiding?

- We'll soon find out.

Now you watch.

The next step is soften me up

by trying to make me comfortable

to get me in an good mood.

Then comes the flank att*ck,

little hints thrown out here and there

to channel my thinking.

(laughing) They're a strange breed.

- Yeah.

Like, for instance, why would mom want to

take up the banjo at her age?

- What?

What's that, what did you just say?

- Yeah, well, this afternoon, I saw her--

- Well, what's this?

- Apple juice, sir, for that tired, ache all over feeling.

Apple juice, that quick energy pick up

for the tired businessman.

Try it today!

- Mmhmm.

How are the banjo lessons coming, dear?

- What banjo lessons?

- Well, Bud saidthis afternoon--

- Oh, for heaven's sake, I was just trying to rescue

that old one of yours.

Kathy found it up in the attic

and was using it as a tennis racket.

Dear?

Speaking of people feeling tired,

I read somewhere once that, frequently,

it's caused by boredom.

People should take up new things, go different places,

try dancing, perhaps.

- Claude Messner had an unhappyuncle who was years old,

and the doctors toldhim to take up dancing.

- There, you see?

- No, he tried it and broke a leg.

- Bud, go and help Betty set the table.

- It's not my turn.

- Go, anyway.

- Okay.

- You see, dear--

- It's funny thing you're mentioning dancing.

I heard a good onetoday on poor Ed Davis.

- What about poor Ed Davis?

- Ol' Myrtle's been dragging him off

to some dancing school.

The way she leads poor Ed around.

- Oh, I don't see anything so wrong about that.

Maybe Ed wanted to go.

- Oh, no, even Ed hasbetter sense than that.

Might be alright for young sprouts,

but a grown businessman,I don't know.

Just seems sort of silly.

(telephone rings)

- Oh, the children will get it in the kitchen, dear.

You know, it seems to me that the old, grown businessman

needs it more than the young sprout.

- [Bud] It's for you, dad!

- Okay.

Seems to me if a man had any spunk--

- Oh, well, Ed has spunk!

- [Bud] It's Mr. Davis.

- Hi, Ed, we were just talking about you.

What's on your mind?

- Well, Myrtle just gave me the good news about tonight.

I'm having a littletrouble with my battery,

and I wonder if we can go in your car instead of mine.

- Go where, Ed?

Oh, I see.

And just when was all this arranged?

- Well, I don't know exactly.

I was sort of planning to drop out of this thing,

but then Myrtle told me

you talked Margaret into joining this,

so I thought I'd suffer through it for a little while.

- I see.

Well, Ed, it's just possible there may have been

a slight misunderstanding about all this,

and I'll have to call you back.

Yeah.

Good-bye.

(whimsical music)

- Well, all right, I did it.

I thought it'd be fun.

I thought it'd be good for us.

Well, life is oozing by, and one day,

we're gonna wake up andsay, "What happened?"

Oh, even the childrenare making remarks about

how aged we're getting, and,

well, and they're right, too!

- Margaret, I have no objection to dancing.

In fact, I like to dance.

Occasionally.

But I see no sense in going to school

to be regimented, lined up.

After all, I know how to dance.

Pretty well, too.

- Oh, sure, the waltz and the two-step.

Two-step and waltz.

Have you ever heard of mambo?

- Who's he?

- Who's he?

Well, it's a new dance.

Everyone is doing it.

- I'm not.

- That's right, everyone except us.

That elderly couple

in the white frame house on Maple Street.

- Oh, now, look here, Margaret.

(banjo strumming)

- Oh, hi, daddy!

Will you play this for me?

- No, I don't think so, kid.

I'm afraid I'm a little rusty.

- He certainly is.

- Oh, come on, play Juanita.

Mommy says that's the only song you know.

- Oh, she does, huh?

- Yes.

Do it like you did when you used to serenade mommy.

- Kathy, daddy's busy now.

Why don't you go out and ask Betty to put the steaks on?

- Okay.

But I do want to hear dad serenade!

- Remember when you used to do that?

What's become of that young man

who stood under my window and played his banjo?

Oh, I suppose he was kind of corny,

but I loved it.

- Honey, I'd look awfully silly now

standing out in theyard playing the banjo.

The neighbors would have me locked up.

- Oh, they would not.

Jim.

I don't ask you to do many things.

- Honey, I don't mind being asked.

I do not like to be pushed.

The least you could have done

was to have discussed this with me before going ahead.

- Would you have gone ifwe discussed it first?

- Certainly not.

- That's what I was--

Alright, go ahead, stay in your rut if you want to.

I don't care.

- You know, you're right, I am in a rut.

And I may just take your adviceand try something different.

Say, I'll drop in at the club tonight.

See the boys.

- The club?

You haven't been there in ages!

- That's just it.

You mentioned boredom.

I read an article last week where an authority said

that even people who are in love

should take a vacation from each other,

if only for an evening.

After all, I used to enjoy those evenings with the boys.

Few hands of cards,stimulating discussion.

What happened?

I got married.

- Did I ever stop you?

- Well, no, but, that'sa side of a man's life

that he shouldn't have to give up.

- Well, why don't youdo go down there, then?

Maybe you can get into a nice stimulating discussion

about old age pension.

- I remember one night we sat up until almost o'clock

discussing Caesar's commentary.

- Well, why don't you put on your tunic

and your sandals, and go?

- I intend to go.

- Fine!

When you come back, don't look for me,

because I'll be out dancing.

- Come and get it, the steaks are ready,

and are they mellow!

- I, I don't think I'll eat tonight, Bud.

I'm not particularly hungry.

- Neither am I.

You children go ahead.

- Oh, boy, two extra steaks for me!

Hey, Betty!

(whimsical music)

- Hey, that was cute!

Do it again!

Was that one of the new dances

you're learning tonight, daddy?

(annoyed grunt)

- Yes, angel, that's one of the new dances we're learning.

If we're dancing.

- I thought you were gonna learn some Mexican dances,

so I thought maybe daddy would like to borrow this.

- You have to ask yourfather about that, dear,

but I imagine he would prefer something more scholarly,

like a mortar board.

The square shape would match his head.

- You may tell your mother

she's being very witty this evening.

- What does witty mean?

- I'm not sure I know what anything means anymore.

- Gosh, Claude, I don't know.

Well, don't doanything 'til tomorrow.

Yeah, bye.

Boy, have we got a problem.

- You've got a problem?

Ha!

- Claude wants to run in a ringer for tomorrow's game,

but I don't know about a third baseman

with a name like that.

- I don't see whatdifference a name makes.

- Alice?

- Alice?

- Yeah, we need that power in the lineup,

but I don't know about a girl.

- Don't do it, son.

In two weeks, she'll betrying to run the team.

(knocking on door)

- May I come in?

- [Jim] Oh, yeah, come on in, Ed.

- Oh, hi, Jim.

- Hello.

- Is Margaret ready?

- I don't know.

You'll have to check with her on that.

- Is it really true you're going to the club tonight?

- Mmhmm.

- Well, how did you manage it?

- Well, Ed, I've alwaysconsidered that man is born free

and he ought to stay that way.

I'll see you later, Ed.

- How come you're not going to the club tonight, Mr. Davis?

- Uh, well, Bud, I.

Would you be a good boy and run upstairs

and see if your mother's ready?

- Hello, Mr. Davis, I'll get her for you.

- Oh, thanks, Betty.

- [Betty] Mother, Mr. Davis is here!

- Oh.

- Ooh, you look beautiful, mother, just beautiful.

- Thanks.

- Come on, they're waiting for you.

- Betty, I,

I'm not going.

- Not going?

Oh yes, you are, you've got to.

Do you remember what you said about timing?

Well, this is the moment.

Now come on, you got to show him

you can be just as independent as he can.

- Well, I--

- You can have fun after you get there.

What I ought to do iscall father at the club

and tell him to meet you there.

- No!

Leave him alone.

Let the male animal roam on the prairie.

He'll return to the cavewhen he gets through

barking at the moon.

I hope.

(melancholy music)

- Where's all the g*ng tonight?

- Oh, they're around.

What do you mean?

- Oh, you know, the guys.

Charlie Spencer, Frank Dawson.

- Oh, Frank.

Haven't seen ol' Frank around a long time.

I don't know what happened to him.

- He's laid up with the rheumatism again.

He's got it almost as bad as I have.

- Charlie got married.

- Charlie did?

- Pretty good-looking gal.

Couple of kids,

and now poor ol' Charlie has to eat

all that home-cooked food,

sitting in frontof the fireplace

and play with the kids.

Has to miss all this fun.

- Oh, Mrs. Anderson, I'd like you to meet Mr. Glasser.

Mr. Glasser's one of our best instructors.

- How do you do?

- How wonderful.

- She's a beginner.

- Oh, that's wonderful,that's just fine.

How are you this evening, Mrs. Davis?

- Just fine.

- Mr. Davis?- Fine, thanks.

- So you're a beginner.

Right, just fine.

Oh, you'll have a lot of fun.

We don't turn out many fellows in Yolanda's,

but we do have fun.

The Davises are coming along nicely with the mambo.

Very nicely.- Oh, thank you!

- But I think you'll want to start out with something

a little less zippy?

Do you have anything special that you'd like to start on?

- Well, anything except the two-step and the waltz.

- Oh, you're priceless!

Well, should we try a few steps,

see just how muchspeedwork we have to do?

(jaunty music)

- Yeah.

Will you take the old age pension?

- Man gets to the end of his life, and I say he's entitled.

Jim?

It's your turn.

- Oh, oh, yeah, sure.

- Well?

Go on, take 'em.

It's your tray.

- Oh, and yours it is.

- Where's your mind tonight, Jim?

- Oh, I don't know.

I was just thinking about the night

we sat up 'til a.m. arguing over Caesar's commentary.

Remember?

- Yep.

- Ol' Walt was in on that.

There's no Walt coming around much anymore?

- No, not much.

Not since his funeral.

- Old Walt?

- Roy, what do you do for arthritis?

I can hardly walk in the morning.

- Don't go anywhere 'til afternoon.

- How's the missus, Jim?

Haven't seen her in a long time.

I suppose with the kids and all,

she doesn't get out and kick up her heels very much.

- Oh, she, she kicks them up.

Occasionally.

(jaunty music)

- Fine, fine, you're doing wonderful, Mrs. Anderson.

You just need to relax a little more.

That's the wonderful thing about dancing.

It's so relaxing!

- Oh, yes, isn't it?

- You having fun, honey?

- Oh, we're fine.

- She's coming along nicely.

Why, I believe we can zoom right into the mambo.

- Oh!

Oh, no no no no, no thanks, friend.

- But you're ready for it.

- Well, I,

I'm afraid I have a headache.

I think I want to go home.

- Good, I'll drive you home.

Come on, Myrtle!- Oh, no no no!

I don't want to go home in my car now.

I'll call a cab.

Could I use your phone?

- Certainly.

- But, Myrtle, she's got a headache.

- Oh my, she needs lessons, too.

She's the only customer I ever had who waltzes to samba.

(melancholy music)

- Why, mother, what are you doing home?

It isn't even nine o'clock yet!

- I had a headache.

Children all right?

- Sure.

What happened, didn't you have a good time?

- Oh, yes, it was fun.

Honey, I guess I'm just not cut out for this wild life.

I think I'll go to bed.

Tell Kathy it's her bedtime.

- Yes, mother.

- Come on, squirt, if you can't make a word, pass.

- Is oogloo a word?

- I told you, you can'tuse foreign words!

- Kathy, mother wants you to go to bed.

- Is she home from the school already?

- Oh, what'd she do, flunk rhumba?

- Oh, keep quiet!

You men are so crass.

No feelings, no romance, no sentiment!

- What are you jumping on me for?

What did I do?

- Oh, you wouldn't understand.

- Well, gee, I--

- Hi, daddy!

- Hello, kitten.

- Home a little early from the club?

- Will you play thebanjo for me now, daddy?

- I don't think so, kitten, I'm kind of tired.

I think I'll go to bed.

- Oh, daddy.

When you go up, will you ask mommy

if I could stay downfor just one more game?

- Ask mommy?

Is she home?

- Yes, and she has a headache, too.

- Come on, sis, your turn.

I said it's your turn.

- Oh.

I just hope she doesn'tforgive him too quickly.

Make him suffer a little first.

- What are you yapping about?

- Oh, nothing.

Here's a good word.

Drip.

- Why, I thought I heard your father's voice in here.

- You did.

Didn't he come upstairs?

- I didn't see him.

- Gee, that's funny.

Found out you were homeand he ran out of here,

naturally, I thought.

Well, gee, I wonder where he did go?

(banjo playing)

- [Bud] Hey, where's the cornball music coming from?

Sounds like it's outside.

- I bet you it's daddy!

(banjo continues)

* Nita

* Juanita

* Ask thy soul if we should part

* Nita

* Juanita

* Lean thou on my heart

(sentimental music)

Fair senorita.

This unworthy caballero wishes to ask the young senorita

if she will honor him

by going dancing with him this evening.

- Si, senor.

But on one condition.

- And que es el condition, senorita?

- That we don't gonear el dancing school,

and that we stick to elwaltz and el two-step.

- Bueno, double bueno!

I'll be right up to get you.

- No, no, stay where you are!

I'll be right down.

We don't want to waste this wonderful moon.

(banjo playing)

- Sorry, honey, too late.

- I tried to keep them inside.

- Margaret Anderson, this is your life.

- You know what, she wouldn't eat it.

I cut it across, and it seems

I was supposed to cut catty-corner.

- Leave it here, I'm hungry.

- Hey, that's right, wedidn't eat any dinner!

Let's see what we can find in Ol' Reliable.

- Oh!

What were you trying to find?

- I found it.

You know, it's pretty silly of us tonight.

Running all over looking for something,

and all the time, it was right here.

* Nita Juanita

* Be my own fair bride

("Father Knows Best" theme song)