06x24 - The $500 Letter

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Father Knows Best". Aired: October 3, 1954 - May 23, 1960.*
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The series, which began on radio in 1949, follows the lives of the Andersons, a middle-class family living in the town of Springfield.
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06x24 - The $500 Letter

Post by bunniefuu »

(dramatic orchestral music)

- [Announcer] Robert Young.

And Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin,

in Father Knows Best.

- Yes, I know how you feel about young girls

wearing fur, but I'm nota young girl anymore!

I'm practically middle-aged!

- Oh, no doubt about that.

But you know, money doesn't--

- I know, grow on trees.

But all I'm talking about is some little old rag

to wear around my neck.

I wouldn't care if it was rabbit, or caterpillar,

if we're even.

But of course, a man in your position

wouldn't want his daughter going around

in anything as cheap as that!

The point is, I'm the only girl I know who doesn't have

some kind of a fur--- Well, I'll be darned!

- Well-- - Margaret!

- What's the matter?

- Well, this is the oddest letter I've ever seen!

- What does it say?

- Margaret!- Who's it from?

- Well, it's from, oh honey, come in the living room,

I want you to hear this.

In fact, I want all of you to hear it.

It concerns one of us, but I don't know which one!

I have a letter here from St. Louis

addressed to one of the Andersons.

- Which one?

- I don't know, that's all it says!

"One of the Andersons," see?

The address is equally vague, Block on Maple.

- Who's it from?

- I'm coming there.

"Please excuse me foraddressing you this way,

"but I do not know your first name or your house number.

"I remember Maple Streetbecause I lived for a short time

"in the same block.

"You are probably surprised at the enclosed check."

- Check?

- There's a certified check here for $ .

- --- Five!

You're kidding.

- Made out to Anderson,with a space left

to fill in the first name.

- Let me see that!

- Well now, hold your horses!

"The enclosed check.

"But please accept itas a token of gratitude,

"small indeed, of the great kindness you showed me."

- Kindness?

- "I have never forgotten it until recently."

No, "I have never forgotten it.

"Until recently, I was not able to repay you,

"but now, I have asmall janitorial service

"which has prospered, sonow I wish to balance up

"the accounts of my life."

Oh, I guess it's a period.

"The accounts of my life.

"Hoping you will remember me kindly,

"I am sincerely Mr. B. Kroegman."

- Kroegman?

- Well, speak up, who did it!

Who's the silent Samaritan?

Here's $ for you, all you have to do

is fill in your first name.

- I'll take it.(laughter)

Who is this Kroegman guy?

- I've never heard of him!

- Wait, wait, I know!

He's the old gentleman who used across the street!

He was janitor for the grade school for a short while!

- Yeah, I remember him, he rented that small apartment

over the Hartley's garage, kept pretty much to himself.

- Sure, the janitor!

Well, he's an old buddy of mine!

- Old buddy, a minute ago you didn't even know who he was.

You know, that could be my fur stole.

Let me see that check.

(family speakingover each other)

- Wait a minute!

We've gotta find out whothis belongs to first!

Now, whoever did this kindness,

don't be so modest, speak up!

- I don't know, what did I do for him?

Saved his life?

Helped him across the street?

- I bet it was you daddy, maybe you lent him some money!

- Owed me money?

No, I don't remember it!

And if he hadn't paid itback, I'd remember it!

No, I spoke to him occasionally,

gave him a lift downto work a couple times,

but that's no great kindness!

- I remember I gave a glass of lemonade once

when he brought back thelawnmower he'd borrowed.

Oh, but that's nothing.

- Well, I took some mail over to him

that came here by mistake once!

- Hey, I delivered his newspaper!

Huh?

- I sold him some girl scout cookies once.

- Why didn't he say what the kindness was?

Hey, maybe there's some pages missing from the letter!

- I don't think so, thecheck fell on the floor,

but I picked that up!

- Well, I think it was a dirty trick

not telling us what we did!

- Maybe he has the wrong family!

- [Bud] Oh no, it has gotta be the right family,

we're the only Andersons on Maple!

- Why don't we write him a letter

and ask him what the good deed was?

- Oh, don't be a fool, we can't take a chance like that!

- [Betty] Chance?

- Well sure!

Well, if we don't know what it is ourselves,

he'll know he has the wrong family.

I don't mean to say thatwe're the wrong family.

Well, for $ , I'm sure we can think of something!

Don't give it away, think!

(lively orchestral music)

- Kroegman, Kroegman.

- Was he ever sick?

- Kroegman?

- Did I ever take medicine to him?

Sit up with him?

Read to him.

Pick some hot water battle?

- I doubt it.

I've been over that sameground pretty thoroughly today,

and I know I never did anything like that for him.

Put this on the stove, would you, dear?

- Boy, this is sure maddening.

In class today, all Ithought about Kroegman,

Kroegman, Kroegman, Kroegman, Kroegman, Kroegman,

and the worst part of itis in all my daydreams

I was wearing that beautiful fur stole

I'm gonna buy with that $ .

(quirky instrumental music)

(laughter)

Just what do you think you're doing?

- Nothing.

- Kroegman?

- Yeah.

I seem to have this vague recollection

of finding him with a stalled car and fixing it for him.

- Ooh, that's very kind of you.

The only flaw is he didn't have a car.

- He didn't?

Come to think of it, he didn't.

Well, it must've been somebody else, then!

- Yeah, must've been!

- Oh, I wish I could remember what it was

I did for Kroegman, 'cause I could sure use that dough!

- What makes yousure it was you?

- Well, I'm naturally kind--

- I've got it, I've got it!

- [Both] Kroegman?

- I remember something I did for him!

I gave him some chewing gum!

- Chewing gum, that's a kindness?

- Well, he was very grateful!

- Oh, I'll bet.

- Well, he was.

I can still see his face.

It happened last year!

- Last year?

Well, he moved away at least three years ago,

didn't he, mother?

- I can't remember when he moved away.

- Kroegman? - What?

- Pity I don't rememberwhen this happened,

but I know it happened!

It was at school!

I remember I was sent tothe principal's office

for chewing gum in class, but the secretary said

I'd have to wait to see the principal,

because he was so busy!

So then I looked around andsaw Mr. Kroegman sitting there!

So I decided to go overand sit beside him!

- [Bud] Probably that was the only place in the room to sit.

- [Kitten] Oh no, I did it to be nice,

because I'm naturally kind!

And I'm sure he was very glad to see me,

because I'm so sweet!

- [Bud] Yeah, like Dewitt Pickles.

- [Kitten] And then we talked.

- [Bud] What about?

- I don't remember.

I think I told him that I was in trouble,

but when you're in trouble, you just have to make

the best of it, and have faith

everything will come out alright!

Then I remembered I had a stick of that gum left,

and I gave it to him,and oh he was grateful,

so very grateful, the most grateful man I ever saw!

- Kitten, I'm afraid you've let your imagination

run away with you!

I doubt if he was as grateful as you're trying to make out.

- [Kitten] Well, he was!

- Oh sure, well, you know that's what he always wanted,

all his life, a stick of gum!

- Too bad, Kathy, it was a good try!

- Well, I guess it wasn't much after all, was it?

- I'm afraid not, Kitten.

But I wish somebody would hurry up

and recall our good deed!

I did nothing atthe office today

but think about this silly thing!

- You call $ bucks silly?

- Ms. Thomas.

Ms. Thomas, come in here a minute, will you please?

I want all the information I can get

on a man by the name of Kroegman.

- Okay, what's his first name?

- It's, uh, how do you like that, I don't even know!

He was a janitor for a while at the grade school,

then he moved to St. Louis!

- How long ago?

- Oh, it was about, (chuckles) boy,

I don't know anything about him!

- You certainly gave me a lot to go on!

Do you know anybody on the school board?

- No, I don't.

Oh wait, Ed Benson!

Well, he's not on the board now,

but maybe he was at the same time Kroegman was there!

Let's try him!

- Okay!

- Oh, I've got to find the answer

to this silly Kroegman mystery before I lose my mind!

Whatever there is left of it. (laughter)

- Mother, how many eggs does this recipe call for, two or--

(splatter) (whimsical orchestral music)

It's catching, Mother!

Mother come here!

I think I taughtit, the kindness

that I did for Mr. Kroegman!

- You have?

Well, what was it?

- Oh, don't worry aboutthe egg, I'll buy you

a whole barrel of eggs with my $ .

In fact, it was the eggthat reminded me of it.

You see, Bud and I were coming home from school--

- Hi, I found out one piece of news today

about Mr. Kroegman--

- Father, don't interrupt me now,

I just remembered the good deed Mr. Kroegman

was talking about!

- Really? - Yes, now listen.

Bud and I were along on our way home,

and we saw Mr. Kroegmanwalking in front of us

carrying a bag of groceries.

He turned into the drivewayleading to his garage apartment,

and he stepped on a marble or something

and his feet flew out from under him!

Naturally, I ran tohelp the poor dear man!

Poor dear, are you hurt?

- Oh no, I think I'm alright, you are very kind.

- [Betty] Look at your eggs, smashed,

well, I'll run to the store and get you some more!

- You are much tookind, I'll pick them up!

- No, no, no, no, I'll do it, and you mustn't

strain yourself, you may be injured!

(frantic orchestral music)

(laughter)

Bud, don't just stand there, help!

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Here, carry this bagto Mr. Kroegman's place,

at least you can do that!

Take it easy.

Now, after I make sure you're alright,

I'll come back and clean up this mess.

- Young lady, I will never forget you for this.

- You sure he said thoseexact words, Betty?

- Well, it's been a few years, so I don't remember exactly,

but I'm quite sure that's what he said!

- Probably what actually happened was

he dropped one can of salmon and you picked it up!

- No!

Really, Father, he was so grate--

- Even so, Betty, that'san act hardly worthy

of a $ reward!

- Well, he evidently thought it was.

I'm gonna read his letter again, see if this fits in.

- Hey, I thought about the good deed!

It came to me when I wassitting in school today.

- You're too late, I'vealready thought of it.

$ is mine!

- Is that true?

- No, it isn't.

It was just a smallincident, which I'm sure

she exaggerated.

- Oh, well then listen!

This is no exaggeration.

This happened one day when Betty and I

were walking on the street, and we saw Mr. Kroegman

coming home with two sacks of groceries.

He tripped over a baseball bat and fell flat on the ground.

And you know how I am, always ready to help my fellow man!

- Oh, my back!

- Don't try and get up, old fellow, I'll help you.

I'll take care of everything, I'll carry you into the house!

- You mustn't try that, boy, you will hurt yourself!

- Oh, it doesn'tmatter about me,

you're all that matters now!

Betty, don't just stand there,

do something about these groceries!

- What shall I do?

- Oh, nevermind, I'lltake care of everything.

Just lean on me, sir.

Just lean on me.

I'll get you into your rooms, and then I'll call a doctor.

- Son, it's a great kindness you're showing me,

I'm sorry I can't rewardyou, but maybe someday.

- Oh, I don't want your reward,

I just wanna see that you're taken care of.

Well that's it!

What do you think?

- Very benevolent, Bud!

But I'm sorry to tell you that's the same incident

Betty just told us.

- Huh?

- Only her version was quite different.

- You two better get together and straighten out

a few details!

- You mean she stole?

Betty, I wanna talk to you!

- Tell her not to forget the cake!

- Isn't that amazing?

- I know neither one of them was deliberately lying,

but boy, what tricks your memory can play on you.

- Especially when it's being spurred on

by wishful imagination!

- You can make yourself believealmost anything you want to!

Today at the office, I was making Kroegman

imaginary premium loans on policies he never had!

- You should hear some of my thoughts.

Why, I remembered a PTA meeting

where Mr. Kroegman made an appeal for a school cafeteria.

He said he'd looked into the children's lunchboxes

and didn't think their lunches were adequate!

Well, I stood up and mumbled I agree,

but all day, I've been imaginingthat I leapt to my feet

and made a strong, eloquent speech backing him up.

- Speaking of those lunchboxes,here's what I started

to tell you when Icame home this evening.

I found out fromEd Benson today,

he was a member of the school board then, you know.

I found out why Kroegmanleft that janitor job,

and probably why he left town!

- Oh?

- He was fired for stealing.

- For stealing?

- Boy had some money in his lunchbox,

he saw Kroegman take it.

- Oh no!

Well, I never heard that, and I was a PTA officer!

- Ed said they kept it quiet, didn't figure the scandal

would do anyone any good.

- Oh, I can't believe that.

Well now, would a man concerned about

children getting proper lunches do a thing like that?

- I don't know.

Nothing fits together, it just gets

more mixed up all the time!

The worst of it is,this mystery's beginning

to dominate our whole lives!

Maybe it's time to call a halt to the whole thing.

- Daddy, I thought of another wonderful good deed I did--

- Oh now, Kitten, I'm in no mood

for any more fairytales!

- [Kitten] It's not a fairytale!

- [Bud] Say dad, you know what she told you

about the way it happened with me--

- Well now, just a minute Bud.

- Hold, hold it, hold it.

Hold it, I don't wanna hear any more of this!

- Huh?

- I don't like what this is doing to us.

I don't know what kind of a person Mr. Kroegman is,

and I'm beginning to wonder what kind of people we are!

Here we are, all trying to make ourselves out to be

great, virtuous heroes.

And what for?

For a little money!

- A little?

- Is that why good deeds are done?

Even if we did some kindness, and it's beginning to look

a little doubtful that we ever did,

should we be paid for it?

Kindness is no more than common courtesy.

That's the least that should be expected of us.

I say, let's send the money back!

- No, Father, he sent itto us, it was his idea!

- [Bud] Yeah, he might feel bad if we send it back.

- Yeah, you know what they say about gift horses!

(laughter)

- Alright, okay.

But I want it settlednow, so we can forget it

and go back to being ourselves.

Now, each one of you thinks that he's done some kindness

for Mr. Kroegman.

Okay, I want you to write that down.

Tell why you honestly think that you deserve the reward.

I'll give you an hour.

We'll meet in there, we'll read the papers,

vote on whose is best, and the winner

will be allowed to write his name in on the check, agreed?

- Okay!

- Okay, then that's it.

(cheerful orchestral music)

(laughter)

Okay, time's up!

Margaret, would youcome in the living room?

This is it.

Betty, Bud, Kathy, come on.

- [Kathy] Wait, I'm not done yet!

- Well, anyone not done obviously hasn't anything to say.

Come on everyone,gather 'round, come on.

No more time.

Now, who wants to read first?

- [Betty] Not me!

- Okay, I'll start it off then.

I, Jim Anderson, relinquish all claim to the check,

having done absolutely nothing to merit the reward.

And my recommendation stands that we send this check back.

Okay, who's next?

Betty?

- Here's all I have.

(laughter)

A blank sheet of paper.

Well, every time I triedto write something,

I felt pretty ashamed of myself.

I didn't do anything worthy.

So as much as I hate to see that lovely tempting money go,

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to string along with Father.

- Okay.

Bud?

- Well, I wrote several pages here,

telling what a lovable, sacrificing,

kind-hearted old soul I am.

And then I read it over.

Boy, the truth never took a b*ating like this before.

(laughter)

So, I was going to suggest dividing the money!

But then, I don't know, I'm afraid I'd feel guilty

even taking a dime of it.

And for old money-mad me, that's going some!

(laughter)

- Kathy?

- Well, I gave up once,but then I wrote this.

I know I'm not the one, but if we keep the money,

I think it should go to Mother,

because she does a lot of nice things for people,

and she's the kind who wouldn't remember it!

- Well, thank you angel, but I'm afraid

I'm not the one either!

Here's mine.

(clears throat)

I think we should accept the money.

- What?

- Accept?

- But not for our sakes', but for Mr. Kroegman's.

(doorbell rings)This evidently--

- Keep going. - Means a great deal to him,

or he wouldn't have done it.

I'm sure he's receiving some kind of joy from doing this,

and I don't think weshould rob him of that.

However, inasmuch as none of us feels he deserves this,

we should give it to some person--

- Hold everything!

Special delivery letter,and guess who it's from?

- [Betty] Well, not from, oh, is it?

- Yes, it is from Kroegman!

Listen.

"Somehow, I misplaced some of the pages of my letter to you,

"here they are, please forgive me."

- So there were missing pages!

- Read 'em, read 'em!

- Let's see.

- Hurry up and read it!

- Hurry Jim, go on!

- "So now I wish up to balance up the accounts of my life

"as best I can.

"You are a young lady by now."

Well.

"And have probablyforgotten the incident.

"You may not remember it at all,

"it happened when Iwas fired at the school

"on the false accusation of a boy

"who claimed I tookmoney from his lunchbox.

"His mother wrote me recently that he had confessed

"his falsehood, and thatsteps are being taken

"to clear my name.

"But that does not alter the humiliation I suffered

"on that dark day.

"I remember sitting on the office that day,

"waiting for my final paycheck.

"I sat alone, disillusioned, bitter, shunned by everyone.

"Then you came and sat beside me.

"You talked to me.

"You smiled at me.

"You said when we're introuble, we have to have faith.

"Things will come out right.

"Then you gave me something, just a small stick of gum.

"But to me, it was a symbol of friendship.

"You will never know what it meant to me

"at that moment of my life to have a friend.

(ethereal harp music)

"I think of you often, the image of your face

"somehow helped me keep going those next difficult years.

"God bless you."

(tender orchestral music)

- I didn't know I did all that!

- Well, you did.

And now we know.

It looks like this belongs to you!

- Oh, I'm gonna buydresses, a whole bunch!

A portable radio, and a portable TV, and!

(laughter)

I really didn't do anything, he just thinks I did!

(Jim chuckles)

- Okay then, start doingthings to deserve it!

Put it in the bank for now, and then try living up

to the image for Mr. Kroegman has of you.

That'll be the best return he could possibly get

on his investment.

- And write him a letter telling him what you will do!

- Oh I will, and I'll do it right now too!

- Now wait a minute Kathy, I've got a marvelous idea.

(laughter)

- Listen, I'm talking to her. - No, I'm talking,

this is really very important, she'll thank me for it!

- A fur stole, important?

- You know, if Bud and Betty had any sense, they'd each

buy a package of gum and go in business for themselves!

(laughter) (clapping)

(cheerful orchestral music)

(jingle)
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