02x18 - Still Stressing

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Still Standing". Aired: September 30, 2002 - March 8, 2006.*
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
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02x18 - Still Stressing

Post by bunniefuu »

oh I thought you were on a date yeah I

was but I Kevin brought his teenage son

Jordan again so we went to the play zone

otherwise known as the really good

chance of stepping in puke so I've

thrown up there all weekend long he's

got son you know joint custody may be

good for the kids but nobody considers

how it affects the new girlfriend any

idea on how to ditch a third wheel once

I figure it out you'll be the first to

know only the little looser Jordan had

some friends his own age but I could

have some alone time with Kevin hey mom

hi my sign somewhere not without

checking it first to see if it's right

by it it's fine okay or you know I was

thinking how would you like to spend a

little girls night out next Saturday

just you me and a couple guys don't know

you mean like a double date think of it

as a family tradition your mother and I

used to double-date with Adalind and how

you are as with your children and your

children's children so what's this guy

like okay well his name is Jordan and

he's a kid and your kid and look you're

not trying to get married i am come on

please okay great let's go find you an

outfit it'll make Jordan want to spend

some time with you so I can spend some

time with Kevin we are gonna keep an eye

on our right of course don't die you and

Jordan be bad and sneak off when I say

the word mom where's the peanut butter

oh we're all out we're out of peanut

butter mom I need peanut butter how am I

supposed to study for a test without

peanut butter and this is the PSAT

sounds more like the pms 80 this is not

a joke the PSAT prep Smee for the NCT

which preps me for college which perhaps

me for the day you move out in the air

hockey table moves in

also not let's go right why are you

freaking out about this because Hakim

and I took the practice test last night

and he wiped the floor with me my study

guards aren't cutting it I need a

private tutor private tutor I saw that

movie Judy Brian and I need one of those

well see you cut it out you we can't

afford a tutoring you I'm throwing away

that tape good luck finding it if I take

the PSAT I'll end up going to state

school or worse cook community college

if you really think you need the extra

help then why don't you get a job and

pay for the tutor yourself where well

Billy you said that they need help down

at work right oh I don't know you can't

just walk in off the street and sell

toilets I think I'll be able to keep up

okay mr. big sh*t but the last kid who

walked in with that attitude couldn't

cut it last of the summer then ran back

to Harvard with his tail between his

legs

[Applause]

[Music]

sunstone orientation yeah the shown in

the ropes I'm so glad they hired us a

lackey stock rooms a mess was my turn to

shovel it out doctor says I'm not

supposed to lift anything heavier than a

beer aholic hag to Carl's party last

week a keg is a beer ah there's my boy

and a Berenson's training vet have the

orientation go into two hours and it

seems like a waste of time a waste of

time you get paid for or otherwise known

as a job coming up on the most important

part of your work day oh yeah almost

break time you guys wants to help me

study for the PSAT I brought my flash

card no no no you're not supposed to

study on your break that's like reading

a book on vacation even a book see the

patio department still has their

hammocks up you can't skip break but I

just have so much to do and you do it

all so much better if you rested and

relaxed I mean look at me I may look

like a lazy lion sunning himself on a

rock when a stray wanders from the herd

I'm ready to pounce watch this I help

you yeah I won't return his flow cup

it's too big for my t*nk sure no problem

I don't know if this little thing won't

fit in your t*nk I can imagine how small

your toilet must be this is the toilet a

toilet spoken like a man who's never

purchased on one of these bad boys it's

nude plus-size models like the chair way

to head to protest right

remember it's a showroom not a go room

oh this is roomy well I gotta have this

you just relax I'll start the paperwork

wow that kind of wanted to refund and

you just sold them a brand new toilet so

so all that time you spent sitting on

the couch you're just recharging to be

kick-ass salesman God gave me a gift you

know some people are lawyers or doctors

or scientists at the end of the day they

all need toilets thanks big guy no thank

you there's my men home from work Brian

how's your day it was great my boss even

assigned me to reorganize the stockroom

tomorrow yep the boy got the nod I've

never seen a new be picking up so fast

come on buddy time for a couple of

well-deserved beers and whatever you

want hey where's mark all right what's

going on Thanks don't need a reason to

see my favorite niece hey you said I

never got to ask you how you should it

off with the Jordan the other night

sorry well wow you really like you do

you think you'd like to go out with him

again I guess great there you go right

now their way in the car we got

reservations at eight I know I really

like this guy got much um he's so cute

especially in this picture oh oh wait a

minute that's not him that's another boy

Lauren give that money back besides she

has to do laundry tonight oh come on

Judy i'll come over tomorrow and do your

laundry all of its let's all I'll clean

your bathroom please does the cute guy

in the picture have an older brother for

me here so let's go we got a window seat

important I'm cool no not you Kevin to

me you'll be the taco truck across the

street

what Brian did to the stuff from wow

everything's really easy to find

including me where am I supposed to hide

from my afternoon nap look at he threw

out my bowl rep tool hey what's going on

fellas fits his all bent out of shape as

Brian cleaned out the stockroom today

you did all this today that's not good

happy this is a free man free day job

yeah boy sudden a dangerous precedent

here I'll talk to you better because

it'd be a shame if there was an accident

that caused the boy to work a little

slower Fitz you're talking about my son

yeah I started be ashamed at night hello

Brian watch your back bar razor so it's

quite a job reorganizing the stockroom

man someone move one on boxes I had them

all organized by stocking brian at your

lunch break sit down and eat your

sandwich econd day Brian drop that box

again drop the box drop the box aren't

the box all right stuff this is terrible

now I gotta follow the damage of course

I got to correct the inventory and the

cost we pass on to the consumer not if

you hide the bar look at your son you

can't know twitchy again you're doing

the same thing with this job you did to

the PSAT I just want to do well sit down

there's two ways you can go through life

you can either worry about every little

thing and give yourself an ulcer like a

keen you know his mom does as Pez

dispensers becomes exactly or you can go

through life like me a happy guy with a

nice house a beautiful wife and family

and a stomach that laughs at spicy food

I've been feeling a little burnt out

lately every once in a while you got to

take your foot off the gas at Coast you

know right afterwards I'm gonna go

straight to the library and research for

relaxation techniques and yoga

meditation or you could use one of the

relaxation techniques we've developed

here at Pharisees

believe it fit we just got b*at by a

gold vest boy I got moves bill fact he

could be the answer to our gear and face

off against those hot sh*ts and bridal

registry really Thanks no no no no don't

tell the puck away put it back up there

with all the other important notices

yeah hey you guys you know that this

talk is a sign-up sheet to take a

management test for your department yeah

we used to use the Heimlich maneuver

instructions but we can anymore because

somebody almost d*ed I got a narrow

focus anyway thanks for inviting me to

this guy's has a lot of fun yeah you see

it took your foot off the gas the world

didn't fall apart you're also part of

the loyal hard-working Brotherhood that

is Berenson's excuse me I wanted to buy

a towel rack but I can't find anybody on

the sales floor to help me you're not

supposed to be back

[Music]

hey hey wow you guys are exactly where I

left you this morning when I went to

work forget moved all day oh my god you

have moved all day you think those

snacks got there Tina oh yeah we haven't

moved all day what's this oh it's a

portable DVD player I bought it so I

could watch movies during study hall

thought you were gonna use your money to

get a tutor oh yeah you were gonna get a

tutor bill it's not going to be the

woman from the movie and I found that

tape by the way there's copies yeah I I

don't need it to drawl do fine on the

PSAT without run well good for you i'm

glad you're not stressing out about it

we've been working on relaxing yeah i

might not even take the test at all what

do you mean you might not take the test

at all well when i thought about it it's

just a practice test it's not like the

world's gonna end I just decided I

should coach well you know take my foot

off the gas yeah well maybe I'll take my

foot off the gas to wonder where I

should put it can't believe you broke

our kids just the other day you told me

you wanted him to relax there's relax

and then there's putting his dirty socks

in the hamper when he's 40 you do that

for me I was talking about you and if we

get another one of you and this house

we're gonna need three more me so now

you want me to convince him to take the

test yeah go talk to him if he doesn't

take it he'll always regret it and

involve our kids he's the one who's

going to be successful to one more

counting on oh that's nice oh you're

both very oh god I got bigger problems

now Ryan about the PSAT I think you

might have taken something I said the

wrong way and I know that you've learned

to relax from the master but don't take

it too far when you get an opportunity

to do something that might make your

life better you got to take it you

understand well I i guess but how come

we've never taken that management test

at work what there's the management test

at work well don't you remember the

notice in the stockroom we use as a

hockey puck wow you play hockey at work

just dad play hockey at work if it

wasn't for him there'd be no lead that

is it young man you go up to your room

to study dad now yes I was a little hard

on him I'll just gonna see if he's okay

stop there's a test you could take to

get a promotion there's also a cartoon

turtle you could draw to get into art

school I'm not taking that tacky feel

why aren't you taking the management

test I don't want to be management it's

it's more work more stress and not much

more money plus it keep me away from the

things I love the most yeah kids would

miss you yeah then to Bill I don't care

about you becoming a manager but you

need to take that test and do your best

to pass it as an example to brine the

tests next week I'll never be ready by

then help you study the important part

is we get Brian back on track because

he's the one kid in this house that is

going to be successful

hey Lauren honey hi listen I'm good news

you don't have to go out with that dork

Jordan anymore Kevin and I broke up I

know Jordan told me last night we went

out oh you and Jordan and if dad in a

woman named brooke if I went on a day to

ya house back fast sorry no no no no no

this is great guy you know you found

someone and I'm exactly where I want to

be back on the market freezer-burn 38

year old bird hmm that reminds me gotta

get a scarecrow I don't my employee

handbook we've had that thing for 18

years and you're just now taking the

wrapping Judy what is there really to

know wow I'm gonna get a 40 minute lunch

break no start from the beginning shall

we okay the four categories of

disciplinary action category one verbal

warning it should be noted on the

employees file and confirmed in writing

stating the offense the steps to remedy

the offense in a time limit for oh my

god this is so bored you know what might

help there's this scene in private tutor

I'll never forget it good I found the

other two tapes and they're gone here's

a list of do's and don't do give verbal

warning do take steps to remedy the

offense do not touch the remote control

unless you do want to see the kansas

game Oh Kansas is playing no but we have

to stop you're right maybe we could just

check the score

yeah yeah fatter oh my god we just

watched two basketball games we wasted

three hours oh you guys watching the

game no no we're studying your father's

gonna ace that management test because

it's an opportunity he can't pass up I

don't even know why the TV was on I must

have sat on the remote who drank all

these beers and we got to do better we

gotta set a better example okay we're up

okay all right sexual harassment policy

stop it sexual harassment is not about

sex it's about power especially in

supervisor subordinate relationship Judy

I have an idea I'm not going to be your

subordinate haven't your way supervisor

you got to supervise me more often kind

of surprised me with that third demerit

myself yeah that's how we waste another

hour and oh no just 10 minutes okay why

is it so hard for us because we're

terrible study is how do we even make it

through high school she desire asses off

you can't cheat you're doing this to

send a message to frighten what if I

fail what kind of message is that

sending you I'm not gonna feel you are a

good father you could do whatever you

set your mind to thanks honey you're

right I'm gonna study my heart out and

pass this thing good are you coming I

don't have a test to pass time already

supervisor five points of the Berenson's

star of service include graciousness

intelligence thoughtfulness honesty

level headedness star of service emplou

honest pneus smartness actress and

private tutor oh wow are you really

going to go through with this test huh

do you need any help no no I'm fine are

you sure cuz like he teach you some

pretty neat tricks like gasps like when

you're memorizing a group of worse you

can take the first letter of each word

form an acronym like this level

headedness intelligence graciousness I

want a steve thoughtfulness and why me

smell tiful no Phil no guilt I'll

remember it or it could spell light how

am I gonna remember light star service

light starlight or star of guilt sure

you know you're pretty good at this you

think yeah I don't know I make funny

sometimes calling you Brainiac Brian the

brain maniac Brian Vaughn Brainiac

they're all offshoots of Brainiac but

the point is and you know you really

have a gift for study to tell the truth

I do kind of miss it listen listen Brian

when I told you to relax I I just wanted

you to take a break so you didn't burn

out it's like me in the Rockford Files

if i watch it too much I get sick of it

I can't stand it so I do the only

logical thing turn off the TV oh I

switched the Barnaby Jones so you're not

following me I give it to saying it's

all about balance so I I think I'll just

take the PSAT and do my best but I'm not

going to make myself create great cuz

you're meant for great things Brian the

other two kids let's be honest they're

just as intelligent you have bright

futures ahead of them

thank you daddy my vibe somebody has

faith in us come on Tina more in my

slippers hurt have you got him on the

wrong feet when you put them on hey

before we go up there I just wanted to

wish you good luck I'm really proud of

your dad that's great you've really

inspired me to apply myself and do well

on the PSAT next week oh good for you

look I've learned a lot about you in the

past few weeks and now I know that it's

okay to relax a little bit as long as I

do know honest day's work Thanks wow

he's really proud of you know I feel

like crap come on crib sheets give it up

come on

[Music]
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