03x03 - Still Looking for Love

[bunniefuu]

so when's your sister and her latest

loser boyfriend gonna get here it's not

her boyfriend he's just someone she's

gone out with on a few dates and it's

not fair to assume he's a loser you want

to put money on it I think we'll know

within the first 10 minutes you want the

over or the under you know there's

gotten a lot smarter about the men she

dates I will take the over under too

late you said over me sorry relate bill

beauty this is Harry hi a nice to meet

you hello Harry's rehearsal ran a little

long he's the lead singer in a band

really yeah you have the hood Foghat

yeah I'm gonna fall guy cover bad 28

seconds I went do you make a nice living

to me man oh yeah competition for

bookings can be brutal though especially

if someone's willing to take less money

other Foghat cover band I don't know

Foghat sorry band is getting so many

gigs now he's so close to quitting his

day job oh really what do you do he

works for the tribute are you a

journalist i'm nomming distribution one

of your paperboy opposite end paper mine

you do you discover back spent yes how

long have you lived in this country uh

well technically only nice

of the Florida but you know Epcot Center

the part that's great britain a work

there one summer an accident just sort

of stuck excuse me I've got to go to the

loo now I know he's a little different

oh he's not just like your last 10

boyfriend's he just won me 20 bucks oh

oh god you have playing the loser game

again no honey you uh I know he's kind

of a clown but we're having fun and he's

cute and I'm just gonna keep him through

the weekend oh my hair now I've got it

look at happens all the time we're

singing a good 30 10 top

[Applause]

[Music]

hey Brad my friend Cammy taught me an

insurer I want to see sure why not ah

brian is coming on brand me I did

not she hit herself oh wait that is

ridiculous Tina did you hit yourself

tell the truth it's gonna hit me again

right go to her room what we don't hit

in this house go are you okay honey you

want mommy to get you some ice cream

with all the yelling Brian hit Tina

sounds like a fair fight one hits like a

girl the other ones Tina hey Linda you

look terrible my turn my turn you don't

smell so good evening hmm well um I have

some very bad news for all of us my

beloved cat Nathaniel Hawthorne passed

away this morning I feel so empty inside

who wants pancakes yeah I'm so sorry

honey having it happened well we were

trying on our halloween costumes and I

thought it would be really cute if I

dressed as a cat and he dressed as a

mouse you know

it does sound too so anyway I put him

down and himself in the mirror he must

have thought he saw a real Mouse looking

back at him because he dashed full speed

right at that mirror and ran head-on

into himself I don't know what I was

thinking with that costume I knew

Nathaniel LifeLight we're going to let

it out no I don't think I should so I

was wondering since I don't have a

backyard if I could bury Nathaniel

Hawthorne and yours ah Linda absolutely

not that would make you happy Linda

shore mom where's my ice cool i'm sorry

sweetie okay you know honey I got some

tough news for you okay God was lonely

and he needed a pet so this morning he

called on Nathaniel passports and I like

to think he's in a big Park in the sky

chasing birds and probably even playing

with your old gerbil peanut peanut dead

because a grana worms are eating him

crystal your soul

I could tell by the way Nathaniel purred

it was the best birthday party you ever

had and those are just a few dozen of

the memories I have of meccania that

size you'd like to hear some more than

in a nice way to that I know we're all

sad here but I think I'm safe and saying

you're the saddest thank you Bill okay

well I guess that does it right and now

who proceeded to the graveside for

prayers and poetry the first I'd like a

person I reckon hey where are you going

come on can I go yeah do you really have

to waste a whole Saturday on this yes we

do but that cat hated me he peed on my

book bag and he stared right at me when

he did it he gave me nothing but sinus

problems I swear I can still smell it

yeah my book that okay we are a family

and when one of us is going through a

tough time we help each other out now

get out there aren't you guys coming no

its way to enough that society gave me

for Christmas no it was a different one

wow I've seen a lot of crazy things in

my life and they were all today

it's almost over let's just get through

this q Who am I Mira Mira Mira cut it

out you think his last words were oh

that's me out you think we stall Stan

around his grave and sing his favorite

song cap smash fever then we can watch

his favorite movie Chitty Chitty Bang

Bang is Miss nice we were just about to

join you I came in to ask to see if you

want to throw some dirt on the grave but

I see you prefer to step on it oh god I

feel terrible I know I could just k*ll

myself only I had a full-length mirror

my meatball sammich still don't see why

you have to drag me the Linda's to

apologize because you're the one who

made me laugh at her dead cat you may

have been laughing at her dead cat I was

laughing at your grieving sister the

doors open all are welcome maybe she's

gotten tired of going out looking for

men oh it's you are we interrupting

something well if you must know this is

my pet bereavement group you're not

kidding no everyone here is struggling

to let go of a lost companion Linda we

just wanted to apologize for the way we

acted it in Samuels funeral we realized

that it must be very difficult to lose a

pet as a gesture of compassion we

brought a ham

[Music]

Louis just lost her pot-bellied pig I'm

pretty sure this isn't him mcafee in the

kitchen yeah well I will be right back

don't let me interrupt just pretend I'm

not even here I'm sorry it's just that I

miss thank you so much people talk about

cats and dogs but a pig can be just as

affectionate and sweet moist and I'm so

sorry it's just it Phil made me laugh oh

he did this hysterical thing with the

toaster where he pretended he was a

despicable insensitive sure I don't

think you fully understand the FanDuel

was my closest friend honey I feel for

you don't you think there's something a

little wrong with that with what well

maybe you wouldn't feel so devastated

right now if you had a more fulfilling

relationship would say something with

thumbs you want me to get a monkey I

meant a little closer to like a human

like a guy you know you cared so deeply

for this cat I've never seen you put

your heart on the line like that for a

man if you did you might find someone to

settle down with thank you but I don't

think you know what you're talking about

now if you excuse me I have to get back

to people who are sensitive to sanctity

of animal life this is good ham I'm

trying for the honey mustard on a way i

shouldn'ta cremated stinky I should a

small game

[Music]

hey hey sanaya just wanted to thank you

for our talk yesterday realize that a

lot of what you said made sense really

yeah i mean Nathaniel's gone and i'm sad

but i'm gonna put that kind of energy

into a relationship with a guy oh great

now all you have to do is find the right

one well i'm way ahead of ya and get in

you're silly this is in your bushes

which is what happens when you have a

child delivering your newspaper did you

use to have a British accent oh yeah it

was just a thing I minute bracelets now

Harry and I have decided to take our

relationship to another level and we're

moving it together yeah what the hell

hey what's going on hey big news brother

then deny moving in together isn't that

great didn't you used to have an english

accent bill we covered daddy's into

bracelets no well I guess we celebrate

bill can you help me get a lot of things

to drink in the kitchen right behind you

oh my god we can't let this happen okay

Judy I know what you think but just

remember she's a grown woman and while

we may not agree with her choice we have

to respect it maybe he's not as bad as

we think Oh buddy that is exactly what

I'm looking for check it out I want a

free case of beer he's now my enemy

[Music]

so how are we gonna break up Linden this

Perry guy Shh you know I've been

thinking about it and maybe we should

just give him a chance really something

about the guides it's under my skin how

would you forget about the case of be

your hoe cake we want to buy how she

didn't even offer to share I swear

nothing good ever comes my way yeah yeah

I got you in the kids who wants Thomas

oh I hope we're putting them on top of

some bigger food oh thank you guys for

coming to our one-week anniversary

dinner actually it's only been six days

but Carrie and I are pretty sure we're

going to make it so where is Perry he's

napping oh did he have a late gig with

his band last night no nobody has his

paper wrote and you know Ben he likes to

wander around the neighborhood and take

a long nap and that's pretty much his

day does this guy need an assistant I

know he's got some quirks but thanks to

my sister I have learned to look past

that now I'm going to pour all my love

and energy into a man instead of a cat

what everybody hold on I smell food hey

there's my sleepy boy for trying to main

appearance Oh Judy do not love this hair

it is the most beautiful here yes oh

yeah risky after your Nana are you

hungry I don't know he making you were

so finicky why don't you go get dressed

and you'll find out I go on yeah

little d*ck and he leaves his hair on

everything Wow what didn't you just

notice any of that she's treating Perry

like he's hurt that's crazy no no no

can't we just laugh at her for a little

yay here we go patras calm and yet okay

Chewie Bill Carey and the Colton here

honey why don't you put on that flutter

I need you I'm fine silly Oh someone's

gonna flip those nails

Wow not roast this is great one could

almost say it says Fancy Feast thank you

Bill honey you're just playing with your

food aren't you hungry I'm just not in

the mood for pot roast a little heavy

for me oh okay well I can make you

something else maybe he'd like some tuna

or some macro unit sounds great I will

go get you some I'll help you do did you

just bark so nice of you guys over the

fun yeah listen honey I'm a little bit

worried about you after seeing you with

Perry I'm starting to think you haven't

completely gotten over your love of cats

I haven't gotten over this annual you've

just replaced him with who ah maybe

Perry no Harry's picky you you feed him

you let him nap all day you take care of

him more than he takes care of you and

you made him a sweater exactly like the

one you made your cat

Wow Judy that is not I'm really draining

my boy run into my q son Harry Campbell

where's my salmon yeah forget it you in

a minute good oh my god I've turned my

boyfriend into my kind of have honey

he's a cute cat but he has a cab I meet

him and it's so one-sided you deserve

someone who's gonna give you something

back I was so stupid I you know instead

of going out and finding a real

boyfriend I just picked up a stray okay

you know what I got I got in it's gonna

be okay don't worry Linda he'll land on

his feet I think we should go away I'm

only two beers into that case he stole

from me I'm not going all right I really

need my sister beside me right now bill

you can do whatever you want Harry uh

can I talk to you for a second yeah um I

am really sorry but I just I don't think

this is going to work out I was so

anxious to have a relationship that I

think I looked past things I probably

shouldn't have this because I drop the

accent cuz i can bring it back love well

I'd like dinner theater but this is

riveted

what your fault i made this relationship

too one-sided and I don't think it's

healthy for either of us and I think it

might be best if you moved out well if

you want me to go I will go but I got to

tell you this you're the best thing that

has ever happened to me I'm not the guy

you need and I will walk through fire to

get there that is a great lyric then do

you inspire me that it's very very sweet

but I don't think this relationship can

where you marry me Aparri maybe you

didn't hear her all right pictured it I

was wearing something different and we

were on a beach in Hawaii and I was 26

and you were a doctor

you

my darling Linda I could never bring

back your beloved cat so I thought I'd

tried to help them live on through son

this one's called goodbye Nathaniel I'm

so sorry that your kitty cat is gone you

can just be sundered bill and Judy's

long goodbye Daniel goodbye Nathaniel

too deep oh I light down a more ago but

didn't age thing

[Music]

way back

[Applause]