03x10 - Still Lying

[bunniefuu]

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they'll put that can of cheese down the

last time you ate a piece of fresh fruit

I had raspberries for breakfast those

were crunch berries I did my conscious

too hello everybody I uh I have some bad

news now I know you all liked her but

Emmeline broke up with me oh it's like

losing a member of the family who's

Emily Ryan are you okay yeah I guess and

to think I just got us tickets to go see

Mamma Mia we have a musical oh that's

why she broke up with you no I'll go

with you I love ya bah really that'd be

great and you know i heard that we have

a heartwarming story around 22 of their

biggest hint and what are you doing when

you talk about musicals around me

k*lling you how lowly

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anyone on one of these plastic surgery

makeover shows what would you want done

x-ray vision I don't think they do that

well then just an eyelift I tend to look

a little sleepy all the time bill I have

to work saturday so you're gonna have to

go to Tina's recital for me yeah I was

just a one of Tina's with sidles last

month you're going and you're going to

videotape it for me did you get the

video camera fixed oh why do I have to

tell you a hundred times just do one

small thing so you do admit that it's

partly your fault Oh No will never have

it fixed in time it's tennis last

recital she has a solo you know I got a

camcorder I could go with bill and tape

it for you really are you sure you don't

have anything better to do Oh Marian

wants me to spend the day scrapbooking

with her so uh no over he'll really your

choice oh hello Marian Judy we were just

talking about you oh really no we worth

would you like to come in no thank you I

just came by looking for my husband I

was just wondering where the ice cream

is that I sent you out to get two hours

ago right here well by the way Marian uh

I can't scrapbook with you on saturday

cuz i'm gonna go with build a videotape

tina's dance recital yeah I guess as

long as you're doing something for

somebody's family guess we better get

this on ice huh bill Judy she should

just put the ice cream in her lap it'll

freeze solid on her way home

I don't get those two no this is so laid

back and she's such a freak about her a

perfect home in her precious ornamental

towel the towel incident that was ugly

oh I did was wipe off my hands and she

went crazy on me who puts towels in the

bathroom and doesn't expect them to get

a little dirty that's why whenever I use

the bathroom it fits his house I never

wash my hands Kim I wash them in the

fish t*nk and drive on the dog

I don't want to sound insensitive but

those kids spunk really cool and will be

things like the 300 I think Tina's up

next and now our eight-year-old

ballerinas will perform an excerpt from

the dance of the hour should have Tina

invite that tall one over for a playdate

their instructor miss Stephanie is

performing the role of the fairy queen

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say

best recital ever

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I'd say that's old work Tina was

adorable you got it didn't you one more

time who's with me daddy can I see

myself on the tape barely means is you

got to wait a couple hours after you eat

before you watch yourself on tape or you

get a cramp what's everything why you

never see me doing anything after i eat

oh yeah okay all right let's see if I

got any tina at all where's Tina hmm

that's not to you still not Tina wow

those are definitely not Tina oh there's

Tina's elbow and back to miss Stephanie

glad you're alive we're out well we'll

just erase the evidence and blame the

battery hit me one Wow she even looks

hot going backwards hey what are you two

up to know what are you doing home

already oh they let me off early oh is

that the videotape of Tina's recital

yeah the tape kind of got screwed up no

no no Judy this is a digital camera we'd

have to redo jalate it before it can be

seen by the human eye oh look at this

destiny she is so pretty really I don't

see it still miss Stephanie

warmest Stephanie check out Tina style

that's it that's all you got a piña you

missed her entire solar Judy I know

you're mad and I know what you're

thinking how could I have trusted fits

to hold the camera well thanks a lot

fits I told tina i was going to watch

her now how am I supposed to tell her

that I can't yes it's tell us please

please sorry I guess I just couldn't

keep the camera off that pretty miss

Stephanie because I'm a pig well I guess

I'm gonna have to lie and tell Tina that

I saw her going up stairs this try and

resist the urge to take me thanks a lot

no Judy thinks I'm approved hey I got

you out of scrapbooking I'd say we're

even you got a nice little arrangement

here I can lie for you you can lie for

me and our wives never find out because

they hate each other well because of a

little ornamental towels towels cleaned

up a lot of messes I love that tall come

on tell me yeah it's the price what's

going on hey Linda bought us tickets to

another musical tonight and she won't

tell me which one is it the annoying one

where they sing everything calc you a

hint you have the t-shirt lame is you um

hairspray yeah look Hodge oh no that's a

t*nk top I'm alright girls but the

goodbye girl thanks for ruining itself

and thanks for ruining him

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game looks great on your TV Vincent it's

like I really am a beautiful busty woman

k*lling people coasters Marion doesn't

like us drinking beer in here and use

your nuts late she barely lets me have

nuts in the house apparently ah oh my

turn are you ready good about to do a

little running waterfall Oh your t-shirt

got wet ack you really need to meet a

woman hey I'm not the one zoomed in on

his kids dance teacher and you didn't

see Miss Stephanie yeah check her out

sorry the screen is a little smudge cuz

I've been kissing it damn C I mean damn

hey who's elbow is that my kids it'll be

gone in a second pause it right there

pause it pause it fine all right man

it's the green one thought thanks hi

honey you're home early and a good thing

wouldn't want to miss the big stag party

William Maxwell oh I guess this is why

you couldn't scrapbook with me on

Saturday you were off filming some

little pop tart now you're showing it to

your pervert buddy well thanks for the

nuts which I did me not without a nut

plate Daniel I taped it pretty thing

came twirling by and I just couldn't

take my eyes off her frankly I don't

know how Judy puts up with me well she

must be an incredibly forgiving person

she is you know when I saw her the other

day it made me think how close we used

to be I should give her a call what yeah

I remember why we have that silly

falling out towels

towel you remember she ruined him with

her filthy dirty hands your antique

fingertip towels you couldn't replace

that one she ruined yeah I broke up the

set that's right she broke up a set your

heart your friendship there's no healing

that no healing that ever I guess you're

right wow that was close jeez I just

step on a cashew hey we think of this

I'm not just for tonight Wow look like a

guy okay all set ready together oh you

look sharp hey you two oh I forgot the

tickets I'll be right back wow great

that you and Brian have been spending so

much time together yeah isn't it yeah

but there's there's only one tiny little

problem you see you're dating your

nephew right come on crazy come on don't

we're just going out for dinner and

seeing if you show was having a couple

laughs talking on the phone oh my God

we're dating well just in time proms

coming up all set shall we yeah we have

to um all right but we might be late for

dinner and I was hoping to get a table

by the piano I have loved hanging out

with you but you know ever since Emily

broke up with you without knowing it you

sort of made me your girlfriend what

think about it you know plays two

dinners that carriage ride oh my god

briney all right you've developed a

little crush on your aunt it's perfectly

mr. Waring countries where they don't

have enough people

but I know we're not really dating but

that doesn't mean I'm not sure I feel

love an intelligent a trafficker never

sick oh yeah I don't know you're talking

to but no he couldn't Hey Judy Mary ah

what are you doing here well you left my

house is such a hurry yesterday you

forgot your scarf thanks Marion I just

hate that you had to come over here I

just hate it we've actually been having

a lovely time catching up well you got a

lot to catch up on I mean who who knows

what topics could come up Judy can I see

you in the kitchen wake up you know how

i told you that fits made the tape at

Tina's recital yeah well I gotta come

clean with you about something we told

Marian that I did did you oh no that's

the lie that I just did to cover from it

why would you take the blame for fit

because you know Mary Ann she's such a

wifey wife I'm not like you you're a

guy's wife you're cool you get well I

try thanks for never so what you'll play

along sure I'm cool you're the best

that's what are you doing let me a note

that she's over here with Judy this

could be a disaster all taken care of my

friend I sorted everything else you told

Judy there was really you that made the

tape oh god now you did it she's just

not going to say anything to marry I

think we'd better get in there hey

Marian I've got your note that you were

over here well let's get going oh no

Julie and I are doing our chat yeah we

have so much to catch up on I bet you do

you know the kids the weather what else

oh gosh yeah that that day Judy ruined

your towel that's all water under the

bridge but no amount of water to get out

that stain

I'm sure you manage to replace the towel

right I couldn't they were handmade by

my grandmother it was the last sec she

embroidered before she went blind again

I'm really really sorry that's all right

although a hand written apology no would

have been nice did we get one of those

no no and it would have been appreciated

well in all fairness is your guest I'd

appreciate a hand towel I could actually

use sorry for stirring that pot I guess

this is what I get for trying to be your

friend I felt a little sorry for you

what with bills wandering on oh don't

wander and I you know what I can't do

this oh sure you can because you're cool

my husband wasn't one checking out the

tutu's it was yours it was just covering

for Fitz look everybody it's snowing

let's make a come on Daniel is is true

bill made the tape I know we've lied

about it a hundred times but that's the

God's honest truth he did it pal yes I

did it you really did it didn't you yeah

I see in the kitchen sure if it was you

wasn't it you've been lying to me this

whole time it was a small lie it would

have made you angry I was really just

protecting your feelings you are

protecting your feelings don't you care

about my feelings bill I believed you I

made a fool out of myself in front all

fancy pants in there hey listen we can

hear you out there some of us have to

sleep a little fancy pants all right

we'll try and keep it down Thanks you

know what bill I don't care that you

were looking at another woman what

bothers me is I had to work all day

Saturday and I couldn't count on you to

do this one little thing there's only

one Judy I can't be everywhere hey mom

from going to the mall I'm gonna return

that fire you got on Saturday oh thanks

honey Saturday went wait a minute I

thought you were at work on Saturday you

know what they'll I forgive you

lawrence's

it turns out there is more than one Judy

there's work and Judy shop and Judy and

lion sackadoo d Judy all right they let

me off early and instead of going to

tina's recital I went shopping but only

because I thought my husband was taping

it for me well the great thing is we're

both gigantic liar and it all turned out

fine and the only one who was hurt was

Tina better good well we were with so

that's just you guys come cleaner that's

all okay all the sudden oh yeah we might

lie to each other and s*ab each other in

the back and make jokes at each other's

expense but in the end it doesn't really

matter cuz we got a good marriage oh you

know what excuse me Marion we need to

talk about what on our marriage Billy

Judy made me realize we need to learn to

communicate better well that's exactly

what I want great just you know

sometimes I feel like I can't be

completely honest with you that's just

silly you don't have to keep things from

me oh good because you know who cares if

I really get off work at five even

though I've been telling you 64 years so

I could have a couple of beers you know

a little fun before I have to come home

to you

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oh yeah and I am allowed to take calls

from you would work there's no rule so

this was good and that heart murmur that

keeps me from making love to you it's

not real theoretically well yes as long

as we're talking about lies I've got one

for you our marriage I was weird she

seemed mad oh it's gonna be a whole new

beginning for you too what's marrying

goes home and digests it in the end

it'll all be fine it's just a trial

separation will take some time digested

it'll all work out fine okay fit divorce

is like a whole new people but weren't

you digest it you'll find that your

sugar

maybe we should probably get going play

starts in about an hour hi it's been a

while so what you too um ashley long and

i are just about to go down to the

theater and then scrubbed by to eat at

that Miceli yeah well have fun okay

Brian take care you thanks you too think

I'm gonna be sick

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I wouldn't have

the way cuz imagine me

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