03x16 - Still Not the One

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

Helen your bill honey what are you doing

I thought you on a diet for your wedding

yellow Harry's decided to postpone the

wedding again he's taken a gig on

account so now they don't have to fit

into a wedding dress until September I'm

just gonna eat till the pain is gone me

I've been trying that for years and the

pain is still here and over there I

think it's good you'll have more time to

plan a nicer wedding know if I ever have

one oh come on you're acting like you're

the last single woman on earth guess

what everybody Johnny proposed I'm

getting married

[Applause]

[Music]

Wow Louise nice Rock Show II don't you

think yeah it's three times the size of

the one Billy's father got me oh yeah

that's right you've gotten two ranks oh

I'm sorry dear look at me acting like

I'm the only one that's getting married

let me see your ring what's this the

promise string the promise ring from a

string I promise what string rings weeds

were so thrilled for you when's the big

day valentine's day married in two weeks

Johnny says a man in love doesn't wait

he'll get some heat and a pound of

cookie dough congratulations we've made

her final years on earth be happy one

nice girl but she's the kind of woman

who sends good men straight to the sauce

hi Nana oh I have got big news I'm

getting married and moving away

reservation I never said I was moving

away worth a sh*t but you probably won't

be seeing as much of me because Johnny's

buying us a new house and I finally get

to fulfill my dream of having four tiny

dogs named Eenie meanie miney and Moe

Wow and we thought her house smelled bad

now I want the girls to be bridesmaids

oh and Brian Brian would you play the

guitar at the ceremony and sing ah sweet

pea let's stick with our strengths

we would you give me away I've been

waiting all my life today wow it looks

like you have everything under control

just let us know what time to be there

surely you didn't think I'd leave you

out of my wedding did you maybe I saved

the best for you I want you to be my

matron of honor and help me work out

every detail of my wedding Oh we SAT is

so very touching but you know what I'd

be better at tying the tin cans to the

back of the car oh don't be silly duty

now when I'm standing at that altar I

want you by my side you're my good

friend really 62 years a life and I'm in

if you don't want to i understand i just

have to indefinitely postponed until I

can find a new best friend Judy can I

see infra second oh you think you've got

to get me out of this matron of honor oh

god she's gonna want me to throw her

Judy keep your eyes on the big

picture here Johnny's our ticket out

she's marrying into a new family that's

a whole carcass a fresh meat for her to

feed on but she's gonna pick up my truck

can take one for the team you can suck

it up for two weeks come on come on I

heard a yes

oh thank you so much for coming to my

wedding we have Oh Judy you wrote down

Betty skipton shoes yes Louise well

could you just check I happen we're just

check I wrote it down I believe you just

chew oh it's right Betty what did you

bring the rice cooker got it by now a

rice cooker what was she thinking my

fiancé's Asian I'm marrying a rice

cooker nihon e return it for me I will

forget a chance Louise and on the way

put you pay the DJ and pick up my

naughty lingerie oh Lord I still need

something blue you could hold your

breath Louise I'm uh starting to feel

that you're taking advantage of this

whole matron of honor thing Judy if you

didn't want the job you should have told

me while there was still time to ask

what I do to help ourselves take her

home I'm a I quit she'd been running me

ragged for past week and a half three

days left we're almost there we crap I

was out with Johnny all day you think

that was fun you went downtown for a

steak lunch and then you both had a nice

hot shave well the the barber nicked my

ear plus the food was delicious so i

overate and now I'm very uncomfortable

you get me a ginger ale you want to die

today Judy don't forget you have to go

to the florist today Louise I am sure

that Judy's just exhausted we could stop

by the florist on the way home you're

right as usual well this is the last of

it hi mom Johnny I had fun today bill it

was the best afternoon of my life

cutie thank you so much for a lovely

shower I'm sorry to leave you with such

a mess what she wouldn't have a thief

cleanly should go see that Johnny got

you out of going to the florist that man

is the key in the jail cell door I'm

telling you Judy we're home free how

long Sonny Boy ass what are you doing

here I've come to stop the wedding

Johnny diet soda I'll check stop the

wedding why in the world would you do

that she's my wife and we belong

together she's your ex-wife and you told

her the being married to her was like

having cancer of the soul I spoke with

the young man's foolish content for love

which young man was that because you

were 58 it was part of your anniversary

toast yeah that's all anybody remembers

from that night oh there she is the best

thing that ever happened to the name

miller what are you doing here I flew up

from Florida the minute I got to know me

Doris she's here to stop the wedding he

wants my mother back what well what

about one yes I'm through with one

either all she wants to do is dance and

make love and then when you ask for a

little conversation it's nothing but

Castro this that Castro doctor now we

just get married in two days you can't

do this to me ty to her I have to why

should never let it go yeah well she's

moved on and found a very nice man so

you need to forget all this craziness

and go back to Florida besides you just

missed if she left a few minutes ago

good let me she'll be back I know my

Louise she never leaves a place once she

always comes back for something she

forgot not always I guess she's a new

woman now yes

my favorite play bohat now Louise you

look so do you find that bow head yeah

yeah Johnny's got the car running and

gas ain't cheap I have sucked a 219 a

gallon at that station near our old

house is that still run by those two

romanian bastards who pretend like they

don't know a tent from a 20 yeah that's

the one with you all night market where

I bought you the mint chip ice cream not

pregnant oh I better be going can I call

you I don't think that would be such a

good idea Johnny's waiting to Baia what

a woman All Right see you kids uh dad

where are you going I got a room at that

joint on Lopez I'm gonna go shower

change and win your mother back she just

said it would be a bad idea if you

called her no she said she thought it

would be a bad idea the dance begins

where are you going to dances together

we can't let him break your mother's

heart again I'm not getting in the

middle of this oh please don't tell me

you want mommy and daddy to get back

together come on Judy give me some

credit i'm a grown man then what is it

my dad's big and scary oh good mr. not

the way she looked at him he'll sweet

talker and she'll cancel the wedding

then he'll turn around and cheat on her

again you cannot let him do that to her

okay fine I'll go talk to him but you

should know that if that old man swings

at me I'm swinging back and then he will

k*ll me

[Music]

who the hell is it it's your son oh so

Phil who's who's Carl and it was a woman

in Missouri not important anyway I'm

glad you're here need your help really

yeah your mother won't take my calls I

need you to talk to it for me ah you

know dad I think we should talk about

that get me my belt oh why I just said

we should talk it's for my pants all you

you brought your wedding album yeah

that's to remind your mother of all the

good times we had you know dad they

weren't all such good times maybe

there's a reason mom's not returning

your calls maybe she doesn't want to

talk to you why wouldn't she want to

talk to me there something wrong with me

you think there's something wrong with

me Belle come out say it or maybe she's

not home yet I just don't understand how

she can turn her back on all those years

used to be your mother and I would make

love and then your mother would get up

all flushed in the afterglow of our

nights passion and then she would make

me a stack of pancakes I give anything

to have that back I'd give anything to

have my love of pancakes back

she's very happy now you weren't happy

you couldn't kick the smiles off our

faces then we got a little apartment we

used to walk to the bus together it was

wonderful what happened I don't know

maybe some people just shouldn't have a

kid wait wait you're saying I ruined

your marriage well you drove me to drink

son only I don't hold it against you cuz

you were too young to know what you were

doing I can't believe you did you ever

stop for one second to think that maybe

the problem was you I saw how you put

mom down and cheated on her you were a

lousy husband and it's too late to make

up for that maybe you're right no reason

your mother should give me a second

chance but I love her I love the woman I

saw today I thought my heart was gonna

bust out of my chest I was an idiot to

let her go and I'll never be happy

without her dad you gotta get her to

talk to me get me one hour to plead my

case if she turns me down I'll be on the

next plane back to Florida I swear

please Billy okay okay I'll get her to

talk to you but I can't tell her to take

you back I wouldn't expect you to you've

never asked for my help before they

didn't me too I had Carl

still can't reach Louise bill do you

have any idea where your mom is yeah I'm

very friendly know when I searched all

over town to find the caterer who could

pull off this wedding in two weeks and

she doesn't bother to show up to try the

dessert samples are delicious oh I'm

sure she's just I'll bet it's nothing

bad it's nothing bad where you go I just

thought I'd go for a little run really

will lions be chasing you because that

is the only reason you would ever run I

afraid my mother's with my father why

would she be with him she told me she

didn't want to see him I may have called

her last night on his behalf you called

your mother for him I said may have did

you yes he thanks me he's got their

wedding album he cried he needed me

after all these years he finally stopped

being such a jerky he let his guard down

and let me in that is so sweet I'm

really happy for you getting the family

back together again just like old times

you your mommy your daddy and that

nervous twitch you had when I first met

you Billy will you take me down to the

bar to get your dad well there it is

[Music]

Judy Billy hi mom oh you got a nice

surprise well come on in i'm just making

pancake matter you love pancakes my

father told me she always made him a big

stack of pancakes after they would you

like if you guys don't mind I try to

have company okay that's it dad come out

here well technically I'm not sure dad

till noon tomorrow thank you your

father's not here Billy didn't he come

to see you last night oh yes it is poor

soul you know he wants totally that

coming home to me was like falling in a

sticker bush and then rolling in a pile

of salt singing a different tune now

really what happened Oh Judy a lady

doesn't make a grown man cry and then

tell everybody who anyone mind if I dig

in for some reason I'm starving Danny

nice hot stack of pancakes Oh

technically this would be to stack

[Music]

yeah come on who d*ed oh I was on my way

to the wedding rehearsal I I just

stopped by to see if you needed to talk

oh jeez said Jackie come with a skirt

Emily tell you if you were pretty upset

yesterday I do me a favor forget about

yesterday fine so what time's your

flight 630 you know I'm going by the

airport you want to ride taking a kid

okay well I was said it was good to see

you yeah you were right you know I

treated your mother terribly just like I

treated one eat it terribly that's why

she left me one day they'll ask you but

you just I just never knew how to be a

good husband or a good father now it's

too late I'm a man who treated people

badly and now I'm gonna die alone you

know there's a chance you could still be

a good father thanks Billy what am I

gonna do knock up some broad just to

redeem my life

that seems like a lot of work I was

talking about you and me huh oh well I

guess is something we could do about our

relationship I do have some regrets in

that area you do sure you're my son I

mean a lot to me if we could start again

okay no but people can change you try to

change that that means a lot hey hell no

i'm talking about you look like a breeze

what are you whining about I look like a

backup singer for salmon well I got you

both feed I had to help grandma put on

the thing that was blue and without

going into much detail it went on right

after the talcum

she gave me this I'm up there on the

altar playing my heart out grandma gives

me dis well in your grandma's defense

Sun you were sucking the stained glass

out of the windows you did a great job

you're a real trooper thank you oh I

just kept reminding myself that after

today your mother would be gone in our

lives will be back to normal hey

gorgeous your old man said I could stay

a couple of weeks

[Music]

I wouldn't have it

way cuz it makes me

[Music]