[Music]
make sure you put the thermometer and
right we have to get an accurate reading
Lauren I know how to take a sick kids
temperature my ear dad I know Tina
here's your sicky Cup man I sure hope
that fevers gone down no no I think it's
gonna be higher it's the way the two of
you are fussing over 201 I win Pam lost
me ten bucks I knew you had another
degree in you the tools you were betting
on her fever you didn't let me in on it
my money
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
looking at their Brian all right so with
the community service jobs oh my boy got
arrested trying get on highway cleanup
you find a lot of neat stuff in the
bushes that I didn't get a rest day time
thinking of doing some volunteering oh
good for you well let's see how can you
contribute to society oh here's one give
your father a foot rub well I really see
how that'll look good on my college
application plus it's gonna be a lot
harder to type after I boil my hand only
at the hospital has an outreach program
here is a lady with a back injury who
needs to help her on the house she's a
widow uh Rose Grundy wait a minute I
thought you were afraid of old ladies
dad I was four years old and mrs. Bruno
chased me around her yard holding her
teeth and making him talk yes she was
funny Phil why don't you ever feel up to
mist humidifier I end up doing it every
time I think you just answered your own
question
set a volunteer list from school yeah
I'm thinking of helping an elderly widow
in the neighborhood aren't you afraid of
I we think you're doing your part to
help out an older person my bribery is
such a good boy well I'm too old for
that name now I filed a tax return this
year oh that reminds me could you file
ours you don't want mommy and daddy
going to jail bring me the shoe b*mb oh
by the way you kids are my business
partners and we go to dinner a lot fine
grown up to be such a responsible young
man well children live what they learn
Judy it's all about good parenting
thanks for picking me up for dance
practice dad you're welcome honey you
didn't pick me up I called you you said
you were on your way where I was going I
got in the car and I automatically went
to the mini-mart I'm sorry punkin but
the good news is we have plenty of beer
no I can't believe you forgot her yeah
and I had to walk home because somebody
took my emergency bus money out of my
purse mom I'm sorry honey but I had an
emergency good news is we have a dozen
frozen burritos to go with that extra
beer
[Music]
Judy can I ask you a little question
about SS will it make me be a RS how
long after you and Bill got together did
he feel the need to start introducing
sorry still waiting on me Perry was
entertaining our activities outside the
bedroom well as long as it's not outside
my bedroom I'm cool with it he wants to
do it in my car what's the picture bill
and I've done it in a car he'll we've
done it in your car towed been naked in
my color we weren't naked we're not
gross why did you guys have been
together for years I mean don't you
think it's a little early for Perry to
feel the need to spice things up it just
sounds like he wants to be a little
adventurous with you he did mention you
right you're not someone drive in are
you know why Nancy won't let it go it
keeps bringing it up constantly that's
because men think of sex all the time
that is not true I'm not thinking about
it right now now i am now I'm not am so
how's Tina she's not feeling so good I
don't think she's gonna come down for
dinner poor little thing dibs on her
food where's my knees for helping out
that old lady again for the past three
days I am so proud that we raised such a
sweet given boy you got it from me dibs
on his food no yes on his food I don't
think that old ladies even feeding and
I'm gonna fix from a plate and have you
take it over to him it'll be my pleasure
and then I'm gonna call Brian and make
sure he got it okay I have plenty of
dinner for myself are doing a little
better okay stupid children's aspirin
I don't get mrs. Gandhi I'll get it dan
what are you doing I I brought you
dinner spaghetti and plain plain
spaghetti no meatballs well thanks that
see you later how is it flying um nobody
okay bye dad your dad uh no it's just a
guy named dad hi I'm Bill Miller so you
work for all mrs. Grundy to know I am oh
this is friendly Wow I pictured somebody
older and run dear sorry to disappoint
you you can call me rose thanks so Rose
how'd you hurt you back Oh skiing take
my advice never go down a black diamond
run after three sh*ts of tequila you're
preaching to the choir are you seeing no
I drink tequila and then I sing it seems
kind of familiar oh well I'm an artist
maybe you read about me in art week
magazine no that's not it when I was
younger I did some modeling mostly beer
ads I'm guessing matches you were the
salt sea be a girl and Josie light which
by the way is just shorts in a green cap
you know I have your poster on my wall
all through high school I drank a ton of
that beer because of you well thanks
you're underage drinking put me through
art school and it put me through traffic
school a couple of times Ryan you need
to tell me your dad was so funny isn't
well I gotta get back to work I got to
move this rug down to the basement you
know I can stick around and give him a
hand oh that's a nice of you I hope you
don't mind I have to do my physical
therapy for my back oh you do what you
gotta do you won't even know we're here
Oh looks like you're gonna have a ball
you're right he isn't that funny
[Laughter]
the exercise like this alarm yeah doctor
told her at least three times a day good
doctor you know it's so rewarding
helping someone in need share it ah well
mr. Cavanaugh is really struggling with
those groceries poor old guy looks like
he could use a hand hey there you are
what took you so long oh I decided to
stick around and help Brian out when i
saw the shape that woman was in i just
couldn't turn my back on it I am so
proud of both of you Brian I bet you're
getting more out of this than you ever
even realize well have memories that'll
be with me for a long time
well I gotta go take a shower you know
what I'm thinking maybe I'll go back
over there and help Ryan out a few more
times you know what I should pitch into
it's good karma be like that old lady
someday I hope so you don't need to get
involved oh it's the least I can do you
know it could go over there indoor
laundry or sun jutti laundry's the only
activity that poor woman can still do
why why robber of her dignity besides
you do enough already hey mom forget
anything today like maybe me small
that's where I was gone so what do you
think Frank or does it need more
smooshing yes yes machine mill and Brian
have been helping her all week I just
wish I could have done more than just
baby Doody she's a lonely old lady shall
enjoy anyone coming over with anything I
know I do will would that's the old
widow Grundy i canno what k*lled her
husband
smooshy here's my guy hey sue how was
the old old lady doing get around okay
ah bless her heart she's she's doing all
right thank God we're there to keep an
eye on her which we do hi dad Billy you
never told it what's the old we're
Grundy look like I don't know she looks
like an old lady but she's still young
at heart and there's plenty going on
upstairs up stuff here you've inspired
me to do a little volunteering myself I
volunteer my foot for your ass why we
saw you at old lady Grundy's you were
there yeah I made a cake and we went
over there and saw you in the window you
and Brian oggle in there bulman hold on
a second let me understand this there's
a cake you're not going over there to
help her you're going over there to
check her out you were peeping in
Windows who's the real pervert here look
I don't care what you do but no mother
should have to see her son leering at a
woman that way I saw my son strip club
face string a club thing you know March
upstairs and talk to Brian right now Tom
I never want to see him looking at a
woman like that again all right and I
want to thank you Bill for making Perry
seem a lot less perverted having sex in
a car seems pretty team right now just
wish I had a bigger backseat I think
you're okay hey oh hey it's really been
fun helping mrs. Grundy huh yeah and
she's really pretty she's pretty I guess
oh come on son you don't have to pretend
you don't look at her it's hard not to
stare at beautiful women but you know
staring that could make a woman feel
uncomfortable and you never want to do
that I guess I didn't think about that
you're right so you're saying I should
stop staring oh god no
he shouldn't get caught doing it that's
all okay well how do you do that well
there's little tricks like for instance
work on your peripheral vision well say
I'm reading the book okay just go with
me on this you're a hot blonde that I
want to check out now I'm looking at the
book go stand over there and hold up
some fingers 352 my god do you have any
more trick sir true now for the next one
you're gonna need some mirrored
sunglasses oh you know actually have a
pair from when i played Kenickie in the
musical Grease oh you know maybe it's
time you use them for something other
than breaking your father's heart you
can see him coming and going when she's
coming she can't tell where you're
looking huh and when she's going pretend
to clean them and you get a nice rear
view I've been erected of stuff down
yeah we don't want any paper trails this
is more of an oral tradition passed down
from father to son I'd like to think
that someday you'll leer at the woman
will eventually become your wife kind of
like how your old man found a sweet
piece of tangle who became your mother
Dada are you crying though
Jude choctaw yep you'll never catch
brian leering at another woman again
Ryan this is so great femme in the day
together catch enough typically used to
yeah there's a lot of fun shopping for
underwear and socks with my mom and
instead of doing almost anything else
busy with school and everything and I
wanted a little time with my bribe ride
I'm sorry Brian oh you got a little
something there okay what's going on
you're treating me like I'm eight years
old Oh who's too big for his mommy all
of a sudden I am I want to put a hot
fudge Godzilla Sunday no that's a little
heavy for me I think I'll just have a
coffee and maybe a biscotti you're
having ice cream young man now do you
want gummy bears or sprinkles gummy
bears or sprinkles sprinkles and why
don't you find it the seat enjoying the
view private
hey whatever you guys been o little
shopping well browsing I'll check-in
things out these look familiar to you ah
yeah I remember those from Brian's
unforgettable performance in the musical
Grease Brian upstairs your father and I
need to talk or Brian could reenact a
scene from grease how about the one
where you're building the race car come
on come on God spared I wanted you to
teach him not to leer at women instead
you taught him how to do it better how'd
you know I taught it because I've seen
those tricks a million times the glasses
the pretending to be reading a book stay
after you man so you can politely check
out her can oh yeah well if you've seen
me check out women the whole time how
come you never get mad I think you're
going anywhere this is my baby boy
you're wrecking Judy I'm gonna tell you
something about Brian that you're gonna
find very upsetting he is a man even
though everything he says and does and
sings about in musical says differently
he's a man and as you yourself said we
think about sex all the time not the boy
I raised I didn't reason to be one of
you what did you raise him to be I don't
know I just missed a little boy who
wanted me to tuck him in at night when
he got sick and I took care of him and
wipes his nose and made him soup I was
checking out women drinking coffee it's
it's like he doesn't want to be around
me anymore you know if you want you can
tuck me in and make me soup I already do
that bill regardless you're gonna have
to face the fact that he's growing up my
bribe right he loves robots and yo-yos
and hot fudge sundaes honey he's a hairy
smelly dirty man just like the rest
oh-ho he does love robots guess you're
right mom here a second me Marv listen I
can smell again oh good for you although
that's a mixed blessing in this house
yeah sweetie it's full of germs I don't
want anyone else getting sick mommy all
right here bribri so thirsty oh here's
your sticky know how I got so sick
neither do i I think I need some more
aspirin tell you what I'll get you some
juice and then I'll mush up the aspirin
in a peanut butter sandwich thank you
mom I know what you did that's Tina
sippy cup how's your name honest big
deal one more week one last flu he was
going to get it anyway you say men are
sick but you are sick and twisted Lee
thank you Brian I have your juice here
comes the mommy to take care of you
don't forget I'm the one who cooks all
the food around here
you want to stay healthy you'll forget
this ever had thanks for showing me
these exercises row they're really did a
number on my back the other day how'd
you do it well I was in the back seat in
my car maybe a long story no pretty
quick actually okay think of the new
stomach and feature Kn*fe
[Laughter]
[Music]
I would have
away cause you back
[Applause]
03x17 - Still Helping Out
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.