03x17 - Still Helping Out

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Still Standing". Aired: September 30, 2002 - March 8, 2006.*
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Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
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03x17 - Still Helping Out

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

make sure you put the thermometer and

right we have to get an accurate reading

Lauren I know how to take a sick kids

temperature my ear dad I know Tina

here's your sicky Cup man I sure hope

that fevers gone down no no I think it's

gonna be higher it's the way the two of

you are fussing over 201 I win Pam lost

me ten bucks I knew you had another

degree in you the tools you were betting

on her fever you didn't let me in on it

my money

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

looking at their Brian all right so with

the community service jobs oh my boy got

arrested trying get on highway cleanup

you find a lot of neat stuff in the

bushes that I didn't get a rest day time

thinking of doing some volunteering oh

good for you well let's see how can you

contribute to society oh here's one give

your father a foot rub well I really see

how that'll look good on my college

application plus it's gonna be a lot

harder to type after I boil my hand only

at the hospital has an outreach program

here is a lady with a back injury who

needs to help her on the house she's a

widow uh Rose Grundy wait a minute I

thought you were afraid of old ladies

dad I was four years old and mrs. Bruno

chased me around her yard holding her

teeth and making him talk yes she was

funny Phil why don't you ever feel up to

mist humidifier I end up doing it every

time I think you just answered your own

question

set a volunteer list from school yeah

I'm thinking of helping an elderly widow

in the neighborhood aren't you afraid of

I we think you're doing your part to

help out an older person my bribery is

such a good boy well I'm too old for

that name now I filed a tax return this

year oh that reminds me could you file

ours you don't want mommy and daddy

going to jail bring me the shoe b*mb oh

by the way you kids are my business

partners and we go to dinner a lot fine

grown up to be such a responsible young

man well children live what they learn

Judy it's all about good parenting

thanks for picking me up for dance

practice dad you're welcome honey you

didn't pick me up I called you you said

you were on your way where I was going I

got in the car and I automatically went

to the mini-mart I'm sorry punkin but

the good news is we have plenty of beer

no I can't believe you forgot her yeah

and I had to walk home because somebody

took my emergency bus money out of my

purse mom I'm sorry honey but I had an

emergency good news is we have a dozen

frozen burritos to go with that extra

beer

[Music]

Judy can I ask you a little question

about SS will it make me be a RS how

long after you and Bill got together did

he feel the need to start introducing

sorry still waiting on me Perry was

entertaining our activities outside the

bedroom well as long as it's not outside

my bedroom I'm cool with it he wants to

do it in my car what's the picture bill

and I've done it in a car he'll we've

done it in your car towed been naked in

my color we weren't naked we're not

gross why did you guys have been

together for years I mean don't you

think it's a little early for Perry to

feel the need to spice things up it just

sounds like he wants to be a little

adventurous with you he did mention you

right you're not someone drive in are

you know why Nancy won't let it go it

keeps bringing it up constantly that's

because men think of sex all the time

that is not true I'm not thinking about

it right now now i am now I'm not am so

how's Tina she's not feeling so good I

don't think she's gonna come down for

dinner poor little thing dibs on her

food where's my knees for helping out

that old lady again for the past three

days I am so proud that we raised such a

sweet given boy you got it from me dibs

on his food no yes on his food I don't

think that old ladies even feeding and

I'm gonna fix from a plate and have you

take it over to him it'll be my pleasure

and then I'm gonna call Brian and make

sure he got it okay I have plenty of

dinner for myself are doing a little

better okay stupid children's aspirin

I don't get mrs. Gandhi I'll get it dan

what are you doing I I brought you

dinner spaghetti and plain plain

spaghetti no meatballs well thanks that

see you later how is it flying um nobody

okay bye dad your dad uh no it's just a

guy named dad hi I'm Bill Miller so you

work for all mrs. Grundy to know I am oh

this is friendly Wow I pictured somebody

older and run dear sorry to disappoint

you you can call me rose thanks so Rose

how'd you hurt you back Oh skiing take

my advice never go down a black diamond

run after three sh*ts of tequila you're

preaching to the choir are you seeing no

I drink tequila and then I sing it seems

kind of familiar oh well I'm an artist

maybe you read about me in art week

magazine no that's not it when I was

younger I did some modeling mostly beer

ads I'm guessing matches you were the

salt sea be a girl and Josie light which

by the way is just shorts in a green cap

you know I have your poster on my wall

all through high school I drank a ton of

that beer because of you well thanks

you're underage drinking put me through

art school and it put me through traffic

school a couple of times Ryan you need

to tell me your dad was so funny isn't

well I gotta get back to work I got to

move this rug down to the basement you

know I can stick around and give him a

hand oh that's a nice of you I hope you

don't mind I have to do my physical

therapy for my back oh you do what you

gotta do you won't even know we're here

Oh looks like you're gonna have a ball

you're right he isn't that funny

[Laughter]

the exercise like this alarm yeah doctor

told her at least three times a day good

doctor you know it's so rewarding

helping someone in need share it ah well

mr. Cavanaugh is really struggling with

those groceries poor old guy looks like

he could use a hand hey there you are

what took you so long oh I decided to

stick around and help Brian out when i

saw the shape that woman was in i just

couldn't turn my back on it I am so

proud of both of you Brian I bet you're

getting more out of this than you ever

even realize well have memories that'll

be with me for a long time

well I gotta go take a shower you know

what I'm thinking maybe I'll go back

over there and help Ryan out a few more

times you know what I should pitch into

it's good karma be like that old lady

someday I hope so you don't need to get

involved oh it's the least I can do you

know it could go over there indoor

laundry or sun jutti laundry's the only

activity that poor woman can still do

why why robber of her dignity besides

you do enough already hey mom forget

anything today like maybe me small

that's where I was gone so what do you

think Frank or does it need more

smooshing yes yes machine mill and Brian

have been helping her all week I just

wish I could have done more than just

baby Doody she's a lonely old lady shall

enjoy anyone coming over with anything I

know I do will would that's the old

widow Grundy i canno what k*lled her

husband

smooshy here's my guy hey sue how was

the old old lady doing get around okay

ah bless her heart she's she's doing all

right thank God we're there to keep an

eye on her which we do hi dad Billy you

never told it what's the old we're

Grundy look like I don't know she looks

like an old lady but she's still young

at heart and there's plenty going on

upstairs up stuff here you've inspired

me to do a little volunteering myself I

volunteer my foot for your ass why we

saw you at old lady Grundy's you were

there yeah I made a cake and we went

over there and saw you in the window you

and Brian oggle in there bulman hold on

a second let me understand this there's

a cake you're not going over there to

help her you're going over there to

check her out you were peeping in

Windows who's the real pervert here look

I don't care what you do but no mother

should have to see her son leering at a

woman that way I saw my son strip club

face string a club thing you know March

upstairs and talk to Brian right now Tom

I never want to see him looking at a

woman like that again all right and I

want to thank you Bill for making Perry

seem a lot less perverted having sex in

a car seems pretty team right now just

wish I had a bigger backseat I think

you're okay hey oh hey it's really been

fun helping mrs. Grundy huh yeah and

she's really pretty she's pretty I guess

oh come on son you don't have to pretend

you don't look at her it's hard not to

stare at beautiful women but you know

staring that could make a woman feel

uncomfortable and you never want to do

that I guess I didn't think about that

you're right so you're saying I should

stop staring oh god no

he shouldn't get caught doing it that's

all okay well how do you do that well

there's little tricks like for instance

work on your peripheral vision well say

I'm reading the book okay just go with

me on this you're a hot blonde that I

want to check out now I'm looking at the

book go stand over there and hold up

some fingers 352 my god do you have any

more trick sir true now for the next one

you're gonna need some mirrored

sunglasses oh you know actually have a

pair from when i played Kenickie in the

musical Grease oh you know maybe it's

time you use them for something other

than breaking your father's heart you

can see him coming and going when she's

coming she can't tell where you're

looking huh and when she's going pretend

to clean them and you get a nice rear

view I've been erected of stuff down

yeah we don't want any paper trails this

is more of an oral tradition passed down

from father to son I'd like to think

that someday you'll leer at the woman

will eventually become your wife kind of

like how your old man found a sweet

piece of tangle who became your mother

Dada are you crying though

Jude choctaw yep you'll never catch

brian leering at another woman again

Ryan this is so great femme in the day

together catch enough typically used to

yeah there's a lot of fun shopping for

underwear and socks with my mom and

instead of doing almost anything else

busy with school and everything and I

wanted a little time with my bribe ride

I'm sorry Brian oh you got a little

something there okay what's going on

you're treating me like I'm eight years

old Oh who's too big for his mommy all

of a sudden I am I want to put a hot

fudge Godzilla Sunday no that's a little

heavy for me I think I'll just have a

coffee and maybe a biscotti you're

having ice cream young man now do you

want gummy bears or sprinkles gummy

bears or sprinkles sprinkles and why

don't you find it the seat enjoying the

view private

hey whatever you guys been o little

shopping well browsing I'll check-in

things out these look familiar to you ah

yeah I remember those from Brian's

unforgettable performance in the musical

Grease Brian upstairs your father and I

need to talk or Brian could reenact a

scene from grease how about the one

where you're building the race car come

on come on God spared I wanted you to

teach him not to leer at women instead

you taught him how to do it better how'd

you know I taught it because I've seen

those tricks a million times the glasses

the pretending to be reading a book stay

after you man so you can politely check

out her can oh yeah well if you've seen

me check out women the whole time how

come you never get mad I think you're

going anywhere this is my baby boy

you're wrecking Judy I'm gonna tell you

something about Brian that you're gonna

find very upsetting he is a man even

though everything he says and does and

sings about in musical says differently

he's a man and as you yourself said we

think about sex all the time not the boy

I raised I didn't reason to be one of

you what did you raise him to be I don't

know I just missed a little boy who

wanted me to tuck him in at night when

he got sick and I took care of him and

wipes his nose and made him soup I was

checking out women drinking coffee it's

it's like he doesn't want to be around

me anymore you know if you want you can

tuck me in and make me soup I already do

that bill regardless you're gonna have

to face the fact that he's growing up my

bribe right he loves robots and yo-yos

and hot fudge sundaes honey he's a hairy

smelly dirty man just like the rest

oh-ho he does love robots guess you're

right mom here a second me Marv listen I

can smell again oh good for you although

that's a mixed blessing in this house

yeah sweetie it's full of germs I don't

want anyone else getting sick mommy all

right here bribri so thirsty oh here's

your sticky know how I got so sick

neither do i I think I need some more

aspirin tell you what I'll get you some

juice and then I'll mush up the aspirin

in a peanut butter sandwich thank you

mom I know what you did that's Tina

sippy cup how's your name honest big

deal one more week one last flu he was

going to get it anyway you say men are

sick but you are sick and twisted Lee

thank you Brian I have your juice here

comes the mommy to take care of you

don't forget I'm the one who cooks all

the food around here

you want to stay healthy you'll forget

this ever had thanks for showing me

these exercises row they're really did a

number on my back the other day how'd

you do it well I was in the back seat in

my car maybe a long story no pretty

quick actually okay think of the new

stomach and feature Kn*fe

[Laughter]

[Music]

I would have

away cause you back

[Applause]
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