[Music]
alright i guess i'll have to call
earlier next year yeah by and news too
late to get Tina into mother Goose
summer camp the fire marshal limits the
amount of children you can fit in this
shoe mother goose camp month ago it was
an Arby's who's gonna watch him in this
summer I'm more disappointed than you I
was going to spend my summer of that RV
great news my teacher says I'm gonna
pass a basic math yeah you see I got a
72 on my midterm and a 68 on my final
which is like an average of here I'm
have some basic now who told you to sit
next to a smart kid thank you Dad can't
believe it no summer school is here free
i'm going to do nothing but lay out by
the lake all summer we will make sure
Tina where's plenty of sunscreen she
burns easily wait i'm watching Tina well
we couldn't find a day camp and your
father and I don't want to have to come
home from work and spend every second of
the summer Sarah Nanette bored pathetic
little honey bad news we can't send you
to day camp this summer we're sorry we
forgot forgot huh but I'm sure plenty of
beer in the fridge
[Music]
okay what about this camp Tina says you
can learn how to square dance sex I went
there one summer next well you're gonna
have to pick one because we're not
spending a summer together hey how do
you feel about the Turk cool there's a
circus camp will know that the circus is
hiring it says musket and cannon I don't
think that's gonna work Lauren sure well
mom you just creature up your stuff her
in there keep crinkle hey you mind if I
borrow that camping gear again my son I
got that piece leg campout this weekend
oh that annual gay camp out with your
day son and the gay would ya you learn
arts and crafts from that Indian from
the village people surely might get a
little fancy now and then but it's still
a bunch of guys out in the woods
roughing it we going camping again do
you need to borrow my napkin rings no
we're gonna hike to Crate and Barrel the
first day just grab the camping gear
from the basement you know I thought
this was going to be this summer that
you and Brian finally went camping yeah
we'll have to do that one of these
summers come on bill your dad took you
camping oh yeah that was a lot of fun
I'd hide up in a tree while he stumbled
around drunk with his crossbow yelling
get down here you and put the
Apple back on your head that explains
your fear of fruit
hey guys I got accepted into that
foreign exchange program and I'm going
to Italy for the summer congratulations
wow it is so wonderful when two cultures
come together and wait a minute this
doesn't mean we have to take an Italian
kid in do we know it requires no effort
on your part oh just the way we like it
so how'd you swing this dad you're with
me when I applied we we went downtown
with the student Model UN we had our
picture taken with the mayor but you
bought that giant pretzel with the pizza
filling oh yeah relax the vendor Eddie
yeah and without us right that day yeah
I tried squirt and I liked it brian is
going to spend the summer in europe
maybe it was slice is so exciting what
country are you going to Italy oh it's
dad labella countryside the magical
summer I spent there don't wear your
lanterns that Coleman lantern is right
next to the bench I'm talking about your
Chinese lanterns we want a campfire dim
sum I know where they are fits bilking
Meehan oh I'm sorry everybody it was a
sierra mist I never knew you went to
Italy yeah I was there out of college I
think it's so great that you're not
afraid to do something like this why I
think I am a little nervous I've never
been so far away from home for so long
Oh Brian god it's gonna be wonderful
you're gonna have an adventure like my
god I went all through Europe with just
the money in my pocket in the clothes on
my back hmm because my luggage was
stolen at the airport
yeah god it was beautiful I mean it was
Europe one rainy night in France I spend
a night in a 300 year old barn where i
got mine disease someone he's a horrible
the wedding for that I never would have
met Jacques the handsome French doctor
who helped me with my of God how do they
say that in french legion a whirlwind
romance that was he introduced me to the
parisian nightlife then he introduced me
to his wife and they robbed me rocky oh
my god yeah you're up you know so
beautiful wish i could show you the
pictures that i had to film a camera for
antibiotics
[Music]
Ryan you're late yeah I'm two hours past
my curfew and I will understand if you
want to punish me by making me can so
much for him pin Ryan you're like I know
I know I was close to be home two hours
ago what the hell is going on Brian
you're late and this is the third time
this week tonight if you're gonna stay
obviously you should call us that's it
that that's how you're gonna handle this
it's no biggie you guys I've shown a
wanton disregard for your rules and
regulations again this is very iffy
behavior I'm getting into here it's
normal you're finally catching up with
other boys Yuri I dropped something it's
a pack of cigarettes I am so busted
goodbye Europe not gonna bust you for
holding onto someone else's cigarette
how do you know they're not mine we know
you don't smoke your throat closes up
when we burn toast I don't watch Judy I
don't think he's ready to go to Europe
really no I wouldn't feel right putting
you on a plane not without this brand
new backpack follicle wedding present
there's a pocket for your inhaler and a
zipper compartment for your allergy
medication you can keep your cigarettes
wherever you want great guys after I die
from Lyme disease I can shift my body
back in it thank you she doesn't seem
too happy you think he's having second
thoughts was acting a little weird I bet
he's scared and he's afraid to admit it
because we'll make fun of them like we
always do I calling him crying Brian too
scared of flying that was way too easy
blame them for being scared Italy is
really far away from here you know locks
Arkel roll over there with the different
languages that confusing subways two
euros that's a little r*cist duty bill
euros is what they call their money Oh
stupid foreigners well he doesn't wanna
go I'm not gonna make him go you know
maybe he's just not ready no no Brian's
gotta get out there and spread his wings
otherwise you might end up like tackling
Ted McGee who tackling Ted he played
defense on my junior high football team
we called him tackling Ted because he
liked to tackle people clever nickname
what they call you the nickname giver
which I changed her Nikki g night before
football camp started Ted chickened out
and his parents let him stay home well
maybe that was for the best no it wasn't
Ed's parents coddled him so Ted never
left his parents house never did
anything you know we should go upstairs
and talk to Brian we don't want him to
end up like this yeah poor Ted gave up
football never tackled anyone again well
fill the president came to town then he
made the news
meo recruit or a non-party prego hey
that's the spirit you're practicing
Italian yeah I just don't how to say
here's my wallet please don't sh**t
honey you know it's okay to be a little
scared about going far away from home
who said I'm scared no one and if you
were I tell you not to be you're about
to fly across the ocean to a beautiful
exotic part of the old world floor to
death there you'll change planes and
continue on that away this this away
Brian a lot of times in life a lot of
things are scary but you need to
overcome your fears and just go for it
otherwise you'll end up regretting the
things you could have done but never did
big world out there just look at it and
we're not even seeing the other side
mundus that is the whole world
oh you got some I don't know flat maps
we learned jog raphy the old-fashioned
way on a earth ball better to go out
there and see the world instead of
sleeping underneath it this is some
opportunity your father and I never had
it would be a shame for you to miss out
on it well maybe you're right when it's
kind of like what John Greenleaf
Whittier said of all the words of tongue
or pen the saddest to these might have
been sounds like your friend John was
enjoying a little of a green leaf when I
wrote that it would be good to spend a
summer away from
I'm really looking forward to spending
the summer with you and your family
seniority to do now I've always dreamed
to going to the Opera no my parents
don't really offer people there's two
more soap opera people I do love my
story be on the phone to that Italian
guy again he's been blabbing to him
every day for the past three weeks what
hasn't been every day and with the
language barrier I'm sure they find
Brian fascinating value he's probably
not a nurse okay we'll just give
everyone their my best annuity haha ok
papa okay i neva ditch so how were the
kazoo blows they're great they just
called me from their weekend house on
Lake Como sounds like he does pretty
well on a cobbler salary an employer
single on all week which is why he likes
to get into the country we're going to
go fishing and hiking in the wood well
I'd be careful in my old neighborhood if
you went into the woods with a couple of
Italians he never came out those serum
like that but seriously while you're
over there never start your own car okay
the important thing is is that I'll be
learning about the Italian culture which
you might want to take a cr*ck at all a
family like a really do stuff with you
know Papa's even gonna take me camping
Brian you know you don't have to call
and papa no I kind of like it it makes
me feel like I'm really part of their
family I belong to go see if there's any
football off it's not football season
know that footballs what the Italians
call soccer it's Papa's favorite sport
so I thought I'd learn about I'll tell
you everything you need to know about it
in two words boring I'm sitting at the
time of his life over there yeah yeah
it's gonna come back a different kid not
even a kiss it's gonna come back a man I
guess you're right you know I think I'm
gonna take Brian on that camping trip
what you know the one he and I've been
talking about forever Wow well you
better check that the weather bureau
because I think he'll just froze over
so we'll go to Wisconsin a LeBron oh I
better go air out that 10 isn't fixed
return it clean yeah but it always comes
back smelling like potpourri
[Music]
hey hey mom I think I finally found a
summer camp 14 books miss Palmer's
etiquette camp come on Tina doesn't need
to go to a little peanut what do we say
when we birth then I was a fun going now
back make it in Earth's fall right on
Brian I don't know where the hell that
kid is we're going to lose our campsite
well it's great you want to take him
camping but brian has a lot to do I mean
he is going to Europe oh my god I can't
believe my baby boys going in Europe
it's really happening you're a bureau
I'm tired of hearing about it he's not
the first one to take a big trip I went
all the way to Indiana to get fireworks
and you didn't see me planning my trip
for a week well maybe you should have
you forgot your money and ran out of gas
hey guys where's Ben your mother's been
climbing the walls isn't that right Judy
no I'm sorry Deb but he kind of threw
this camping thing at me at the last
minute I've got a lot of important stuff
to do before my trip oh well if you've
got important stuff to do I wouldn't
want to waste your time with a stupid
camping trip forget it it's canceled I
said I'm sorry yeah why you so sad
because I planned this trip and I was
looking forward to it since we were you
ever looking forward to this trip every
year you promised to take me and every
year you make some lame excuse not to go
there was always a very good reason I
couldn't go like the time you were too
shook up over princess d*ed Judy she was
England's rose I can't believe you i'm
leaving and now all of a sudden you want
to be super dad well i think it's a
little late that's it you're grounded
from Europe what you heard me I forbid
you to leave this continent you can't do
that watch me this sucks what was
incredibly childish I know do you
believe that kid I have you gone crazy
you can't ground him from Europe what's
really going on he just wanted to go
camping with them a song should want to
go camping with his father
you hated it when you were a kid I did
well then why is this so important to
you well there was this one time when I
was about Brian's age my dad called me
over to the campfire popped open a beer
and told me I could have a sip then we
we SAT that for a while it was nice too
but it was the first time I really felt
like he thought of me as a man yeah you
could still cast that with Brian but you
better hurry up because he's getting on
a plane to Italy forget it forget it
going camping with me obviously isn't
that important to him let him go camping
with Papa he can give him his first sip
of vino Barbarino or whatever
[Music]
you have your passport yes mom I'm all
said there was no need for you guys to
come with me to the game you're an
unaccompanied minor and my baby boy
you're lucky I'm not folded up in your
suitcase Oh call you mine I might go and
have a wonderful time and remember if
anything happens please please please
not whisper that in my ear while you're
hugging me so hard to let go goodbye
sweetheart fun yeah your son's leaving
for the rest of the summer isn't there
anything you want to say to work so you
kids don't forget the right I'll be
sending you emails but i'll be blogging
every day don't worry you'll get used to
the food well I'll talk to you folks
kind of goodbye with fan I'm not his
mother guys say goodbye differently well
I guess this is goodbye my love is fun I
love you more done ah I love you more
I'll get a room I don't watch the plane
take off for the ladies room order me an
overpriced beer in an undercooked pizza
Brian I need to talk to you what is it
now just take a minute come on I'm gonna
follow me here look I'm sorry I got so
mad at you about the whole campus okay
no no it's not okay I just felt guilty I
haven't made an effort to spend more
time with you when you were growing up
you know you you assume there's gonna be
plenty of time to do things with your
boy and next thing you know you're
watching a man hop on a plane and flying
away we'll have plenty of time to do
stuff when I get back well I want to do
something together before you leave that
the planes board here here
the a* damn shame if your first sip of
beer was with anyone but your old man
are we going to get in trouble Oh
airports like international waters
they're not subject to America really no
just drinking what do you think it's
good you are my son I've never been so
proud of you you know there's a good
chance that next year I'll be
valedictorian great after that dealies
done we'll have another beer man oh yeah
I better get going well have a great
trip son
let it go before your mom gets back
she'll get all worked up you know how
women are what do you slicing onions
back there
I wouldn't have
wait cuz it back
03x23 - Still Exchanging
Watch/Buy Amazon
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.
Bill and Judy Miller are a blue-collar Chicago couple trying to raise three children responsibly without sacrificing their youthfulness.