02x07 - Goin' To The Chapel

[bunniefuu]

He saved their life. He's good.

What about Glenda?

I need to show this to them.

Let's go get them.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

- [SCREAMS]
- Nadine!

[SCREAMING]

[BELL TOLLS]

What have I done?

Have you ever made
your confession before?

No.

I'm not Catholic.

But... I mean, are we
even allowed to do this?

Normally, absolutely not.

But out of all the rules
we're gonna break today,

this is the least of them.

Just be honest.

It's my fault.

All of it.

[SIGHS] My dad...

Devon's mom, Gary, and Nadine.

m*rder.

It's the most serious mortal sin.

But it's also a willful act.

You didn't mean to hurt anyone.

What does it matter?

They'd all be alive
if it weren't for me.

No, please, Nadine...

She's quite dead, I assure you.

Hand him over, Mr. Wheeler.

Jake, I didn't mean to do it.

- Agh!
- Give him to me.

Now.

- [WEEPING]
- [SIGHS]

Stop crying.

The Charles Lee Ray I
know kills without remorse.

His v*olence is pure. It's glorious.

Push one little girl off a building

and go to pieces?

I'm sorry, Jake.

Good Guy dolls are hard to come by.

In fact, this is the last one.

And I'm gonna need it for Chucky Prime.

I think we should talk about that.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

What'd you do to your hair?

I wasn't having any fun as a blond.

What did you do to yours?
You look like f*ckin' Jesus.

I think there's a deal to be made here.

You may be right.

As long as you understand
that when all is said and done,

I am leaving here with Charlie.

Not with Nica's body you're not.

Agreed.

I think we've all seen
how messy things get

when Chucky tries to
occupy a human body.

Plastic is much more
resilient than flesh.

But this is my body.

- Not for long.
- No, no f*cking way.

Chucky's not getting out of here alive.

It's not that simple, Jake.

It's good to see you
guys again, by the way.

Nica Pierce is downstairs.

She's a hostage in her own body.

Chucky's hostage.

No different than if he
had a g*n to her head.

If we can save Nica,
that's what we're gonna do.

What happens to him?

I'm afraid that kind of magic

is not in Damballa's purview.

We can transfer souls
into another vessel,

but consigning a soul to
hell, that's a Catholic thing.

To hell? Me?

I'm sorry, you're
talking about an exorcism?

Father Bryce,

I think you're about to become
uncharacteristically useful.

Do we have a deal?

[PLAYFUL SPOOKY MUSIC]

[ERNIE ROWELL'S "BLINDED
BY THE GOOD SIDE OF YOU"]

And the whole crew here
wish Tommy the Turtle

many more years to come.

Colleen, back to you.

The search continues for
actress Jennifer Tilly.

Authorities believe that Tilly

fled her Beverly Hills home a week ago

after allegedly setting it aflame.

Excuse me. Can you speed it up?

I'm in a little bit of a hurry.

- What's that?
- [LOUDER] I'm in a hurry.

- Ketchup?
- No.

- Hey.
- [GASPS]

Oh, my God, it's you.

Oh, no, no, no. No, it's not.

Yes it is.

Do you think that I
could maybe get a picture?

No, no, no. I get that all the time.

But I'm not her. I promise.

Although I am a fan of her
incredible body of work.

Wait, you're that m*rder*r?

Murderess, but I am not her.

- Holy sh*t.
- I am not she.

Oh, my God! That's a terrible picture.

- Turn it off.
- Hey, can I get a pic?

No, no, no.

No, I have to go. I have...

Keep the change.

I'm in a rush.

♪ I was blinded ♪

♪ By the good side of you ♪

Did you get my curly fries?

We have to get out of here.

We need... we need to find a motel.

Motel? Just slow down.

I thought we were going to get Glenda?

Glen, will you please stop
thinking about yourself

for just one minute?

Jennifer Tilly is wanted for m*rder.

I can't go back on the lam again.

I can't spend the rest of my life

in prison either.

I need to transfer my soul again.

But I can only transfer
it into a Belle doll.

We have to switch places again.

No, hold on a second. What about me?

I go back to being Jennifer Tilly

now that Jennifer Tilly
is a criminal on the lam?

Sorry, Jennifer, I don't make the rules.

Damballa does.

Besides, you've already been behind bars

for many years now.

Prison will be a walk
in the park for you.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

[ENGINE CRANKING]

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

sh*t!

This is bullshit.

It's not right. She didn't deserve this.

No, she didn't.

I should have protected her.

Instead, we dragged her
down into our hellhole

and got her k*lled.

We're gonna get him, Lex.

- Chucky's gonna pay for this.
- Like he paid for Junior?

And my dad? And your f*cking mom?

He's not gonna stop
until we're all dead.

- Together we could do anything.
- Together?

Don't make me laugh.

We don't do anything together anymore

except fail to stop
Chucky from k*lling people.

Be honest, do any of us actually have

anything in common besides Chucky?

Do you guys even like
each other anymore?

I'm done.

[SNIFFLES] I'm done with all of it.

I just want to sleep.

Okay, Lexy.

We'll leave you alone now.

[DOOR CLICKS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

f*ck it.

What's happening?

[EERIE MUSIC]

Jake?

Jake, what's going on?

We'll all be safer with these in here.

[KEY CLANGS]

Father? Will it work?

An exorcism, in theory, should banish

an unclean spirit from its host,

sending it to everlasting
burning hell where it belongs.

In God's eyes, I don't
see why he'd be different.

I need to call the Vatican for approval.

And we'll all have to make
our confession beforehand.

Won't work unless we're pure.

Sister, would you be
so kind as to join me?

I may need some moral support.

- I'd be happy to, Father.
- Thank you.

Give my best to the Pope.

Agh.

That's for ditching
me at the gas station.

- And...
- Ugh, quit it.

And that's for scaring me half to death.

Look, I'm sorry I ran off.

I thought I was doing the right thing,

but I almost got myself k*lled.

And I know I put you through hell.

[SIGHS]

You ever do something that stupid again,

I'll k*ll you myself, okay?

Hi. Andy Barclay?

I'm Nica Pierce.

I don't think we've ever actually met.

Actually, we have.

But you were Chucky at the time.

Right. Right, that tracks.

He tossed my babysitter
out an eighth-story window.

That's how it started years ago.

He stabbed me while I was in the womb.

sh*t.

This is like a Chucky
survivor support group meeting.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, when this is over, if it works,

you'll be free of him.

None of us will be free
of him until he's dead.

And when this is over, if it works,

he's just gonna waltz right out of here

with Dr. Mixter.

First thing's first.

[SIGHS] Devon, I...

I don't even know what to say.

- Look, I'm so sorry.
- Later.

If there even is a later, we'll talk.

But right now we have to
try to live through this.

And everything else? We
just have to live with it.

[SIGHS] Um...

Hey, Devon, what Lexy said

about us not having
anything in common...

you don't think that, do you?

Later.

Jake? I'm sorry.

I loved Nadine too.

You're sorry?

That's all you got to say?

[GRUNTS]

Not sorry! [CACKLES]

No! No.

Jake? What happened?

I'm... I'm...

I'm all right now.

No, no, I see you now.

I think it'd be a good idea
for everybody

if I move Chucky someplace safer.

You're the bravest person I know.

[DISCORDANT MUSIC]

You're the bravest person I know.

[ECHOING] You're the
bravest person I know.

You're the bravest person.
You're the bravest person.

You're the...

No!

Not the kitties
frolicking in the daisies!

That one's my favorite.

[SOFT MUSIC]

You're dead.

Well, that's not
a very nice thing to say.

Even if it is true.

I've lost it.

I've officially f*cking lost it.

You seem pretty okay to
me, all things considered.

But there must be a reason why I'm here.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Don't look at me like that.

I thought you didn't need those anymore.

Yeah, me too.

This isn't good, Lexy.

Yeah, no sh*t.

It's just... I'm freaking out.

And there's nothing else that works.

- It's my fault that you're dead.
- Well, that's just not true.

Jake and Devon won't stop fighting.

They have been showing quite
a bit of animosity lately.

They're doomed, of
course, but who cares?

We're all gonna die
anyway, so what's the point?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
First, please stop pacing.

You're making me a little woozy here.

Second, I care.

Jake, Devon, your family, they all care.

[SOFT MUSIC]

And you're not gonna die. Not yet.

Maybe I should just take them all.

[SNIFFLES] Be done with it.

No.

You can get through this.

You're brave.

You're the bravest person I know.

[SCOFFS]

Honest.

It takes a very courageous person

to admit that they feel this way.

My mom couldn't do it.

I'm sorry I couldn't save you.

Don't be.

We all go to that big old amusement park

in the sky eventually.

I just got my ticket early.

But if you want my advice,
talk to Jake and Devon.

They're your friends.

And like I always say,

good friends can make
it through anything.

I can't tell anyone
that I have a problem.

They would totally judge me.

[CHUCKLES] Silly, you already did.

You told me.

It was easier with you.

But you are strong.

You are Lexy f*ckin' Cross.

I know you can do it.

♪ Oh, if you go then I'll go too ♪

[TENSE MUSIC]

I've been afraid for as
long as I can remember.

Now that there's a chance

that I might finally be rid of him...

Well, I'm ashamed to say it,

but it terrifies me.

Because...

I don't know who I'll be without him.

Yes, Your Excellency.

Absolutely. That makes perfect sense.

Of course, of course, yeah.
I would have no other way.

Thank you for taking my call,
Your Excellency.

A good day to you too, sir.

So I've been excommunicated.

They can't.

They did.

We have to do something.

We need another plan. Something.

As usual, you're absolutely right.

- _
- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

"A Step-by-Step Guide to Exorcism"?

I may no longer be an ordained priest,

but I have a duty to my faith

and to those children.

To hell with the Vatican, sister.

We're going rogue.

[GASPS]

These are very dangerous.

You know that.

Yes.

Sister Ruth, you're absolutely right.

You could k*ll yourself with these.

Yes, I know.

You can have the pills. I'm done.

Oh, not quite, dear.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Glenda.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Hi.

Closer.

How's my favorite kiddo?

Ready to get your old man out of here?

I came here to talk.

I have questions,

things I deserve to know.

Later.

- First we gotta...
- No, no.

I ask, you answer.

Hm?

Our whole lives, Glen
and I were lied to.

And not just by Mom, by you.

Come on. I never lied to you.

Yeah, well you never
told us the truth either

about who we are, where we come from,

how we're supposed to feel about it.

I mean, our own parents,

and you took who we are away from us.

Glenda...

That's not my question, Dad.

All I really want to know is why?

The truth is, you got a raw deal, kid.

I can explain everything, and I will.

But first, I need you to
go get my old Bowie Kn*fe.

- I stashed it in a loose stone...
- No.

Behind the church organ back in the day.

No! No, enough.

You're exactly like Mom.

You're completely self-absorbed.

You're violent. You're psychotic.

And you were never there for us.

And you still aren't.

I've been trying to
understand you both for so long

that I couldn't even see

that Glen and I are
actually just orphans.

So I'll see you around, Dad.

Whatever you do, you are my kid,

you are a k*ller, and
you can't escape that.

[GRUNTING]

[GROWLING]

I just kept thinking how
great it would finally be

to know him,

to know myself.

But life doesn't work that way, does it?

Now I think I'm more lost than ever.

I see.

Can you do something for me, Father?

I can try.

Can you say a prayer for my twin, Glen?

You want me to pray for them?

Pray for their soul?

Yeah. Give them the works.

I just miss them, that's all.

[SOFT MUSIC]

Anything else you want to say?

Yeah, I sort of k*lled somebody.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Lord Jesus Christ,

Word of God the Father...

and God of all creation,

who gave authority to his holy Apostles

and subjected demons in his name...

And who tread underfoot
all the power of the enemy,

and whose power Satan, cast down,

fell like lightning from heaven...

Jake, please!

I'm afraid.

Doesn't matter.

If this works, you're
gonna be gone for good.

Will I go to heaven?

No.

But I was baptized.

Can I at least go to Purgatory?

I don't know.

For you will come to judge the living,

and the dead, and the world of fire.

Amen.

In the name of the Father,

and of the Son,

and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- [HOLY WATER SIZZLING]
- [SCREAMING]

Burns! It burns!

The power of Christ compels you.

You think I'm scared to go to hell?

f*ck that. I'm from Jersey.

[CACKLES]

Jersey!

[LAUGHING]

[UNEASY MUSIC]

I can't wait to be a doll again.

No more wrinkles, lots of cute outfits,

and last I checked, all
the plumbing works too.

It's gonna be okay, Jennifer.

- [WHIMPERING]
- We'll figure something out.

Being a doll is where it's at.

You can get full off of
a fun-size chocolate bar.

You can downsize your house.

You can freeze in one position,
so you lull your victims

into a false sense of security.

[GIGGLES]

I for one am happy that
I can live where I want,

do what I want, and
buy thousands of pairs

of tiny shoes.

Hm, wow, sounds like you've
got it all figured out.

- Lots of choices.
- Exactly.

Lots of choices. Endless.

Must be nice.

Glenda and I never got any choices.

You took them away from us.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey, come back here!

Come back here! Come back here!

- Aah!
- [GASPS]

Aah!

[SOBBING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Have mercy on us and him.

- Have mercy on us and him.
- [GROWLING]

Have mercy on us and him!

Behold the cross of the Lord.

You were temped for
our sake by the Devil.

Be gone all hostile powers. Go!

Have mercy on us and him.

Your mother sucks cocks in hell.

Yeah, we've all seen
that movie too, assh*le.

But in your mother's
case, it's actually true.

She's been busy.

Devon.

Seen the one about the mom
that falls down the stairs?

Snap goes the neck. It's a classic.

Devon, don't listen to him.

Have mercy on us and him!

Hold him!

Oh, the memories in this room.

Dead babysitter, dead mom,

dead dad, dead friends, dead family.

Dead, dead, dead. You ready to join 'em?

[EXHALES] Rot in hell.

- Have mercy on us and him!
- On us and him!

Don't listen to him!

ALL: Have mercy on us and him.

Have mercy on us and him.
Have mercy on us and him.

Hey, Nica, can Chucky
Prime come out to play?

We need to chat, k*ller to k*ller.

f*ck you.

Fine. Have it your way.

- BOTH: Have mercy on us and him!
- Hold him, hold him!

BOTH: Have mercy on us and him!

Good, good.

ALL: Have mercy on us and him.

[RETCHES]

- [GASPS]
- Ah!

[PANTING]

Hey, Jake, how did it
feel when I k*lled Nadine?

How did it feel when I k*lled Gary?

Oh, too soon?

Shut up. Shut up!

Jake, help me, please. It hurts.

Don't listen to him, Jake. I'm here.

Get a room. Wait, you had one.

And all you did was fight over me.

[CHUCKLES]

Be silent, Father of Lies.

Get out, unclean spirit!

Be gone, unclean spirit!

What the f*ck is this?

[WHIMPERS]

By the breath of your mouth, oh, Lord,

drive out all evil spirits.

Command them to be gone!

I command...

[ALL EXCLAIMING]

Ah!

Oh, sh*t.

[GRUNTS, CHUCKLES]

Hey!

You having an exorcism without me?

Hey, me, long time no see.

A little help here?

Oh, no can do, little man.

I need that body.

Ay, come on, I'll be good.

I just want to...

[GROANS]

Did you have to punch me?

Here, cover my eyes.

I charge you, Satan,

depart from this servant of God.

Is this actually working?

What kind of kid sends
their dad to hell, huh?

An abandoned one.

And you're supposed to be the tough one?

The power of Christ compels you.

ALL: The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

- Louder!
- Come on!

- ALL: The power of Christ...
- Is that all you've got?

- ALL: Compels you!
- You're nothing.

ALL: The power of Christ compels you!

♪ You're all gonna die ♪

♪ I'm not gonna cry ♪

♪ 'Cause you're all gonna die ♪

♪ You're all gonna die ♪

The power of Christ compels you.

ALL: The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

The power of Christ compels you.

Drive out all evil spirits!

I command them to be gone!

The power...

[TENSE MUSIC]

[BELL TOLLS]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

Father?

[LAUGHING]

Are you okay?

Stand back.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Holy f*ck.

Look at me, I'm, like, feet tall.

[GROANS]

Chucky. [PANTING]

You go to hell.

You first, Father.

Aah!

[SOFT MUSIC]

[PANTING]

[SIGHS]

What happened?

Did it work? I can't see anything.

This is so unorthodox.

Think of me like you would a priest.

Just without your rights,
and privileges, and status.

I always judge people so harshly.

I think that's because of
how hard I treat myself.

The church has always been
a refuge for people like me.

It never fully accepted us either.

I've always known I was...

different.

And I've always wanted to be a priest.

[CHUCKLES]

I guess on so many levels,

when you have that
kind of conflict in you,

you know, you're gonna be
at odds with everyone else.

[EMOTIONAL MUSIC]

I'm sorry.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] What's my penance?

[SIGHS] Nothing.

Nothing? How can that be?

With all due respect,

I think you've punished
yourself more than enough.

Jesus, man.

God, I don't know what's wrong with me.

[SNIFFLES]

You're a good person, Jake.

You just try to see
the best in everyone.

Heartwarming.

But I have a pressing schedule.

Could we wrap this up?

A man just d*ed.

No, a man just exploded.

And may I remind you
all, we have a deal.

So let's get on with it.

Okay.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[EXHALES]

Ade due Damballa.

I hate Chucky for blowing up my life.

I hate Tiffany for holding me prisoner.

But most of all...

I hate myself for failing to stop them.

Hatred is a sin that
poisons us from the inside.

I've lived

with this poison inside me every day.

And now it's time to get it out.

Give me the power, I beg of you.

[THUNDER CRASHES]

Leveau mercier du bois chaloitte.

Secoise entienne mais pois de morte.

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

Endelieu pour du boisette damballa!

Endenlieu pour du boisette damballa!

Endenlieu pour du boisette damballa!

[WHIMPERING]

Ahh!

[GRUNTS]

[EERIE MUSIC]

Hey-o!

- Hey!
- What are you doing?

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

[HOLY WATER SIZZLING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Jake.

Good and upright is the Lord.

He will teach sinners the way.

[COUGHING]

Took you long enough.

[COUGHING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

I'll spare her for Dr. Mixter
and our Lord and savior.

- Lord and what?
- Is she talking about Chucky?

Jake, please.

[SIGHS] Okay, just let her go.

Damn, Jake, didn't
know you had it in you.

Been working out?

Too bad you couldn't finish.

Hope that's not an issue in the bedroom.

Devon?

[CHUCKLES]

Right. You two are still virgins.

Oh, that's enough Charlie.

There's no need to rub it in.

Come on, Doc, that's the best part.

So long, suckers. [CHUCKLES]

See you real soon.

Stop right there,

harbinger of sin,
instrument of blasphemy.

Everyone just stay calm.

[WHIMPERS]

Lord, I am your servant.

- I will honor...
- [GRUNTS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

[GASPING]

Do you think his whole life
is flashing before his eyes?

If it is, I'm sure he thinks

he's having the last laugh.

[GASPING]

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

[SOFT MUSIC]

♪ Oh, everything today,
it all went wrong ♪

Now they get to have
what Chucky stole from us.

Yeah.

Now all they have to worry about

is acne, gym class, and heartache.

Adolescence is a real horror show, Andy,

even without the k*ller dolls.

Chucky made you so cynical.

Nah, that was my parents.

So now that we're back from the dead,

what should we do with
the rest of our lives?

I don't know.

I haven't thought about my future

since the first grade.

Well, lucky for you,

you have the rest of your
life to figure it out.

♪ Don't you want to say it's all right ♪

♪ To be kids ♪

Where are we going?

Andy, I have no idea.

♪ We're just kids ♪

You know, through most
of that in there...

[SNIFFLES]

Until the end,

I honestly didn't know
whose side you were even on.

I'm on my own side.

Always.

Glen's side too.

Well, I'm grateful for
what you guys did for me.

I have my life back.

So thank you.

What are you gonna do now?

[CHUCKLES]

I don't know. Watch a movie?

That doesn't star Jennifer Tilly.

How about you? How are you feeling?

[SIGHS] Like an orphan.

[ENGINE RUMBLES]

Not quite.

[OMINOUS MUSIC]

Hello, Nica.

Dad's dead.

Now Mom's dead too.

Nica, please, for my kids,

don't k*ll me.

Please, they need me.

Don't. No.

Sorry.

BOTH: No!

Ahh!

[GASPS]

[WHIMPERING]

No!

Glen! Come on.

Help me get them up.

- No!
- We have to go.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[BELL TOLLING]

[OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC]

[SCREAMING]

When this is all done,

I am going to unleash Chucky
on the world all over again.

And because you have
sworn your holy vows

to keep my confession inviolate,

there is absolutely nothing
you can do to stop me.

Get out.

Do you truly believe
in eternal life, Father?

I know you preach it.

I believe with certainty.

And I know its true source.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CACKLES]