I'm not doing it! I said do it!
I am not doing it! Whoa!
(Grunting)
Get up. Get up!
Aah. Aah, aah!
You are a guest in my house.you do as I say!
I broughtthe chips and beer.
Aah! Aah!
Huh, what are you bringing? Some pain!
Ow!
(Grunting)
Get up!
Oh, I said do it!
Okay, okay,i'll do--i'll do it!
What channel?
.
We really gotta findthat remote.
(Sighs)
Volume.
Never!
Oh!
♪♪♪
Come on, fluffy. Jump!
Do your trick.
Jump, little dog.
You know what, kids? I thinkhe's just not in the mood,
And, kyle, you're kidding whenyou say "little dog," right?
Yes.
Could you not do that?it scares mommy. Okay.
Hey, what's up?
Hey. Fluffy won't jump.
Sure, he will.here, let me light a match.
No, no, no, no, no.i think he's sick.
He hasn't been eating.
And his nose isn't wetlike a dog's should be.
We have to do something. Yeah, I think you're right.
Jim, I really thinkwe need to take him to the vet.
Okay. Kids, go ahead.get fluffy's cage.
Okay, I got it, cheryl.
The vet.
I'll take him...to the vet.
No, jim, I mean really take him to the vet.
Don't drop him in the woodsbehind the lumberyard.
Come on.those woods are paradise.
Ugh.
I drop andy off therewhen he drinks too much.
Well, what aboutthe kids' -legged mouse?
How'd he like it, huh?
(Chuckles)little tripod? Yes.
He was never happier when hewobbled off to that tree line.
Look, jim, come on.
I think you really needto take him to the vet.
(Sighs) all right.
Uh, where's the vet?
You know where it is. You'vebeen there, like, five times.
No, i... Haven't.
Whoa, hey,what are you doing?
Hey, it's bucksjust to walk in this place.
I'm getting somethingfor it.
Wow.
Bucks? (Scoffs)
For bucksyou could buy new fluffies
And a pintof premium ice cream.
So I have good news.
Dr. Zavranski foundyour guinea pig's problem.
Oh, great.
Great? It's a miracle.
Hey there.
I believeall life is sacred.
In fact, I operatemy own private monkey preserve.
I'm andy,and I don't wear fur.
That's a...nice leather jacket.
Hear that?chicks dig the jacket.
Uh, helen, could you pleaseput out some more doggie treats?
Hi.
Hello.are you fluffy's father?
I like to think so, but...
Looks a lotlike the mailman.
So what's fluffy got?
An eraser blockinghis intestine.
He needs surgery.
Otherwise, he'll diea slow and painful death.
Can you make ita quick and pleasant death?
Forgive me,
But I don't find the sufferingof animals very amusing.
Do you find anythingamusing?
Well, yeah,here's a good one.
The surgerywill cost you $ , .
(Laughs)
$ , ? Yeah.
I wouldn't get an eraserout of my wife for $ , .
Excuse me.
Uh, is helen allowedto date friends of patients,
Os is she reservedfor the doctor?
She's my daughter.
Answer the question.
Look, if you wantto save some money,
Perhaps you could take fluffyhome and squeeze him real hard
And see if the eraserjust sh**t out.
I tried thaton the way in.
Just made his eyesbulge a little bit.
That some moreanimal humor?
Oh, yes, it is.
Here.
Hey, cheryl. Hey.
(Gasps) how's fluffy?
Well, he needs surgery.
It costs , bucks.
Oh, my god.when's it scheduled for?
Well, the same daythat $ , falls from the sky.
Okay, okay, now, honey,i-i know it's a lot of money,
But we're just gonnahave to find a way
To make some cutbacks.
You know what?you're absolutely right.
First cutback--fluffy the guinea pig.
No! We can't just let him die.he's part of this family.
Part of the family? Yes.
In order to bepart of this family, honey,
You should at leastbe able to call my name
Or bring me foodor fetch a ball.
For god sakes, kyle justmade it under the wire.
You know, jim, some things aremore important than money.
Even if that was true,
Guinea pigsaren't on that list.
Look, jim, he isvery important to this family.
And as chief financial officerof this family,
I am declaringa $ limit on pets.
After that, there'sa little piece of the yard
That's gonna geta little bit greener.
Well, I'll tell youone thing, chief,
The kidsare gonna be devastated.
Yeah, the kids. Yeah.
It's gonna be rough on them. I know.
Hey, kids,come on in here.
Look, I'm gonnaget washed up for dinner.
If they start crying,i'll eat upstairs.
Jim!
Yay! Fluffy's back! How are you feeling?
Hi, fluffy. (Kyle) we missed you.
Um, kids, why don't youcome down here for a minute?
Daddy's gonna explain to youwhat's happening with fluffy.
Oh, I don't know.
I think mommy could do itmuch better than daddy.
Well, we'll never really knowtill daddy tries.
(Chuckles) all right.
All right, well,you kids are old enough now.
I could tell youthe truth, right?
Well,fluffy swallowed an eraser,
And he needs a $ , surgery.
So he's gonna be okay?
(All) yay!
Yay!
Okay, okay.
Okay, when we got fluffy,
Brand-new,he cost bucks, okay?
When we drove himout of the pet store,
You cut that in half.
And with an eraserin his gullet,
His blue book valueis $ , $ . , Tops.
So I'm trying to tell you,fluffy has been totaled.
You can't put a priceon man's best friend.
Kyle,fluffy--guinea pig.
We have to save fluffy.
Do you knowwhat we could get with $ ,
For this family?
We could get a jet ski,
Or a riding lawn mower,or a dirt bike...
Or somethingyou guys would like.
So fluffy's going to die.
(Sighs)
Come here, kids. Listen.
Everybodyis gonna die someday...
Me, mommy...
The three of you.
(All screaming)
Oh, you know...
That is too bad.
I really wantedto videotape
When the kids found outthey were gonna die someday.
That little fur ball
Is the cutest, sweetest thingi've ever seen.
Oh, thank you.
What's he here for?
Oh, I'm putting him down.
They built a mallbehind the lumberyard.
Hey, jim.
Andy,what the hell is that?
My round-trip ticketto helen's heart
And all nearby attractions.
His name's icarus.
If helen asks, I've raised himsince he was a cub.
Birds don't have cubs.
Fine. Calf, kitten, toddler--the point is,
When the egg cracked,i'm the face he saw.
And I'm a millionaire.don't blow this.
Why would i--i'm not gonna--
Andrea, you canbring esmerelda to--
Holy crap!
Hello again, helen.
Might I invite youto examine my bird?
Where did youget that thing?
Oh, jim,you've seen him a hundred times.
Icarus keeps an eye on thingsat the monkey preserve.
Yeah, i-i-i'm sorry,but we don't handle falcons.
Falcon?
I asked for an eagle.what the hell? Oh!
Aah! Icarus, come back!
Um, he, uh...
He probably smellsa loose chimp.
I'll call you!
Icky! Icky! Hand!
Uh, uh, jim, we'rejust about ready for fluffy,
So you might wanna sayyour final good-byes.
Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks.
See ya.
Hey, jim, hold on.
Over here.
Over here in the out box,you idiot.
All right, fluffy,don't mess with my head now.
Look, I think you'remaking a big mistake here.
Listen, you've had a rich, fulleight months of life, all right?
Hey, look, this isn't about me.it's about you.
Oh, it is? Yeah.
Well, I'm not the onegoing into his last shoe box.
Oh, is that right?
Well, you're missingthe big picture here, mister.
You need me.i can help you.
Come a little closer.come here.
Can you grant wishes?
Just one. I could take youfrom a zero to a hero.
A hero? I don't want to bea hero. I'm not looking to--
Hey, come on now.listen to me.
Think of the lookon your kids' faces
When they see me afterthe surgery, as good as new.
♪ Ta-da! ♪
(Gasps) oh!
(Men)♪ for he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
♪ And so say all of us, hey ♪
You see, jim,isn't it worth $ ,
For your kids to knowwhat a good guy you are?
I'm not that good.
Ah, come on, jim. Some thingsare more important then money.
Why does everyonekeep saying that?
And look at my little nose.i'm adorable, huh?
Stop it! Yeah.
Just stop it.stop looking so damn cute.
Oh, it's the lab coat.
It really is slimming,don't you think?
Now if you don't mind,i'd like to push on with this.
I've got a couple of neuteringslater this afternoon,
And those dogsdon't castrate themselves.
Wait, doc--doc, hold on a second.
I want to save fluffy.
I'll pay for the surgery.
Well, that's great.
Helen,cancel the neuterings.
You've just made one guinea pigand two dogs very happy.
So, uh, how do you wantto pay for that?
Oh, with my kids'college fund.
I mean, the little one thinkshe's a dog, anyway, so...
He ain't gonna make itto college.
(Laughs)
Well, I have somethingvery important
To tell you about fluffy.
The last thing he said was,
&Quot;thank you very much, jimmy,
For saving my life!&Quot;
Fluffy lives!
♪ Ta-da! ♪
Oh, come on. I thoughtthere'd be some applause,
Some balloons...
Am I in the wrong house?
That's not fluffy.
What?
Well, jim,it is kind of obvious.
You just bought anotherguinea pig from the pet store.
What?!
This is fluffy!
Look, there are things that aremore important than money.
Okay, now I knowyou're lying.
We're not idiots. Yeah, where's our dog?
It's fluffy.kids, it's fluffy.
I'm telling youthis is fluffy! Okay, okay.
If this is fluffy...
Fluffy, jump. Jump.
Honey, he just had surgery,for crying out loud.
After your c-section,
You didn't shovel snowfor three days.
Come on. Give him a break.
You got a receiptfrom the vet?
Is it reallythat hard to believe
That I woulddo something good?
(All) yes.
Fine, fine. Fine.
Forget it. You know what?believe what you wanna believe,
Because I knowwhat I did for fluffy,
And he knowswhat I did for him.
Now I'm gonna go and give himsome expensive medicine,
Make some special foodand nurse him back to health,
So he canjump off this banister
And prove to all of yayou're wrong!
Now if you'll excuse me,
My hand tells methat the surgery was successful.
(Captain & tennille)♪ muskrat, muskrat ♪
♪ Candlelight ♪
♪ Doin' the townand doin' it right ♪
♪ In the evening ♪
♪ It's pretty pleasing ♪
♪ Muskrat suzie, muskrat sam ♪
♪ Do the jitterbugat a muskrat land ♪
♪ And they shimmy ♪
♪ Sam is so skinny ♪
♪ And they whirl and they twirland they tango ♪
♪ Singin' and jingin' a jangle ♪
♪ Float like the heavens above ♪
♪ Looks like muskrat love ♪
♪ Nibblin' on bacon ♪
♪ Chewin' on cheese ♪
♪ Sam says to suzie ♪
♪ &Quot;honey, would you pleasebe my missus?&Quot; ♪
♪ Suzie says yes... ♪
In ten years of fatherhood,
You've never oncecooked for your kids,
But you're cookingfor fluffy?
Well, I didn't want to say thisout loud, but fine--
I like fluffy better.
♪ Muzzle to muzzle ♪
♪ Now anything goesas they wriggle ♪
♪ Sue starts to giggle ♪
♪ And they whirl and they twirland they tango ♪
♪ Singin'and jingin' a jangle... ♪
I wouldn't trade youfor anything...
♪ Floatinglike the heavens above ♪
♪ Looks like muskrat love ♪
Anything.
What is it, fluffy?
What is it, boy?
(Sniffs)
Oh, my god, my god! Fire!
Fire! Everybody out!
Everybody out of the house!there's a fire!
Everyone here?
Yeah, we're all here.we're okay.
Fluffy! Where's fluffy?
He's in the house.i gotta go back and get him.
No, it's dangerous! No, I gotta go!
So he's stickingwith the fluffy story? Oh...
(Coughs)fluffy, where are you?
Oh, sorry I left you.
Fluffy! Fluffy--
Fluffy!oh, there you are, boy.
Okay, hold your breathand stay low.
Don't quit on me.come on.
I got him. I got him.
(Coughs)
Oh, um, honey...
That--that's...that's my slipper.
Crap!
Jim, you can't go back!
Don't stop me.i love the little guy.
Look, in the window!
(Gasps)
Fluffy.
My god, fluffy.
Fluffy.
Jump!
Fluffy, please jump.
You are importantto this family.
You're important to me.
Jump!
(Jim claps)
Unless you want to gofrom fluffy to crispy, jump!
Yes!
Daddy, I can't believe it! Thank you, daddy!
That was so cool! That was cool!
Oh, my god! Fluffy!
Ugh. Honey,i feel awful.
It was the real fluffyall along.
I never should'vedoubted you.
Well, so nowyou'll never doubt me again?
Let's just leave itwhere it is.
Hey, hey,is everything all right?
Well, there wasn'tmuch of a fire,
Just a lot of smokefrom the stove. Oh, that's a relief.
Honestly, is homemade guinea pigfood really necessary?
If your guinea pigis important to you, then it is.
My daddy's a hero!
(Laughs) oh, please.
You know, don't feel bad.you did your part.
(Cheryl) thank you.
Oh, my god. We heard the siren.what happened?
Daddy was awesome.
He saved us,and he saved fluffy.
Yeah, you were brave,honey.
Yeah, daddy.you're the best.
Oh, thank you, everyone.
That means a lot.
It means everything.
And we love fluffy, and we'regonna love him forever and ever.
Actually, they goabout five years.
And thenyou multiply that by seven.
Wh--where--where is fluffy?
Oh, I see him.he's on the porch.
Oh. (Falcon shrieks)
(Gasps)
Oh, my god, icarus!
Fluffy, no! No, fluffy!
Fluffy!
Oh, my god! (Gasps)
I have never seenanything like that.
Oh, jim, this is awful.
Cheryl, I promisei will find a way to replace...
That slipper of yours.(Laughs) (gasps)
Aw! Oh!
Hi, fluffy!
(Laughs) oh, my god,here he comes. Here he comes.
(All scream) icarus! Icarus!