All righty.
Oh, my gosh.
What? What happened?
Nothing. We've just neverseen you clean anything.
Oh, well, mommy'sgonna be home soon,
And I want everythingto look nice.
So come on, give me a hand here.let's make sure this looks nice.
You know, mommy's coming backfrom that funeral,
And she's gonna be very, verysad, so lot of hugs and kisses--
And I just put thosein alphabetical order!
Put that down,put that down.
Who wasuncle donald again?
Uncle donaldwas grandpa's older brother.
Remember? The one who losthis finger during the w*r?
Uncle donald had a farm?
(All) ♪ ee-i-ee-i-oh ♪
And on that farmhe had a heart att*ck,
But we don't wantto talk about that
When mom's around,all right?
Daddy, what happensafter you die?
Well... People cryfor a while,
And thenthey sell your clothes.
♪♪♪
(Car horn honks)
Okay, okay, okay.they're here, they're here.
All right, remember--
What did we have for dinnerthe last few nights? (Children) pizza!
All right, and whatare we gonna tell mom we had? Salad!
Broccoli! Pizza!
Okay, you don'tsay anything.
Just give her a hugand go right to your bedroom.
Okay, go, go, go, go.come on.
(All) mommy! Hey, babies.
Hi, honey. How you feeling?all right? Oh, I'm okay.
Wow, look,the house is spotless... Mm-hmm.
The kids are all scrubbed.
What'd you do, send 'em toanother family for three days? Oh.
You know what?i'm exhausted.
I'm gonna go lay downfor a little bit. Yes, yes.
Come on, go get mommy's bags.let's go. Let's help her here.
Hey, honey. What'd you eatwhile I was gone?
(Jim) okay, get that bag.
All right.
Well, welcome back. Yeah.
Boy, that funeralmust have been rough, huh? Mm.
How you feeling? A little sad, you know--
Hey, wanna playsome ping-pong?
What? Ping-pong. You know,get the blood flowing?
I was in that carfor three hours.
Let's smack the egg aroundfor a while.
Come on, you don't seemthat broken up
About your uncle donald. Wasn't a fan.
One thanksgivingwhen andy was ,
He asked uncle donaldto pass the mashed potatoes,
And donald said,
Andrew, are you surethat's such a good idea?
Grouchy old -fingered fart.
That's why, to this day,i never eat mashed potatoes.
You eat mashed potatoesall the time.
Yes, but I'm bitterabout it. Oh, come on.
I'm sorry you guyshad to go through--
(Cheryl) honey? Yes?
Could you bring mesome tissues?
I'm here for you, baby.anything you need.
You want some water?you want something to eat? Wow.
What do you mean, wow ?
No, I've just never seen youthis gentle and kind before.
I wish moreof our relatives would die.
I wish they wouldjust leave.
Is there any more perfect foodthan soup?
Warm, nourishing,helps you when you're sick.
It's like your momin a bowl.
Get, get, get. That soupis for cheryl, not for you.
Is there any more perfect foodthan crackers?
Give me that.
Jim, how you comingwith that soup?
Oh, it'salmost done, honey.
I really appreciate it.
I'm here for you, baby.
Wow, look at you--jimmy homemaker--
Cooking, cleaning,got the kids all organized.
If you're as good in the bedroomas you are in the kitchen,
You're quite a catch.
I would rock your world.
Jim, would you put some of thosecrackers I like in the soup?
I'm here for you, baby.
Hey. Ah.
Hey, dana.
Dana, let meask you something.
Oh, for the last time--yes, it's ryan's baby.
No, you know, how are you doingwith this grieving thing?
Because cheryl's havinga hell of a time.
Yeah, I know, and theyweren't even that close.
I mean, I spentwhole summers on the farm.
I remember uncle donaldused to make this blueberry pie
That was so good,and he'd say,
Come on, eat up, skinny-minny.put some meat on those bones.
Son of a b--
Just give her a couple of days.she'll be fine.
Yeah. Hey, thanks for doing these.
These are your towels?
Yeah, well, you've beendoing so much laundry lately,
I thought I'd slip 'em in.
Hey, if you find any underwearyour size with lace on 'em,
They're mine.
Jim, could you putsome butter
On those crackers?
Andy, I don't knowthat much about grief,
Because everybodythat I've known that's d*ed,
I didn't really care for,
But I heard that,you know,
It takes onlyabout two weeks.
Where'd you hear that?
In my head. That's wherei hear all the stuff.
And you know what?
Dana's over uncle donald,and cheryl's not.
What's going on? Why would she be?
You wait on herhand and foot.
She's got the sweetest dealin crybaby county.
What are youtalking about?
Jim...
She's faking thisto work you.
No, cheryl'snot that devious.
She's been married to youfor years.
It rubs off.
Oh, please. No, no, no.
I never oncerocked a vending machine
Before I met you.
Now I don't evencarry change.
You don't carry change'cause I made fun of your purse.
Now come on.
Okay, okay.
I'm out of line. Yes.
She's too good. You're damn right.
Yeah, yeah. She's probablyjust mourning her dear uncle
That she hasn't seensince .
Wake up, jim.
Your little pixiehas a dark side--
Dare I say--evil side.
I was going throughyour mail...
When I came acrossthis travel brochure.
She's working you, my friend,so you'll take her to hawaii.
Say aloha to the real cheryl.
Hawaii? Come on, I can't evenget her off the couch,
Let alone hawaii. (Whispers) I know.
(Mocking voice) becauseshe's so ve-wy, ve-wy sad.
(Cheryl) jim?
The soup?
(Normal voice) he's herefor you, baby.
Mahalo.
Mmm.
Oh, that smells good.
Oh, I hope it tastesas good as it smells.
Yeah. It's nottoo hot, is it?
Here, let me see.(Blows air)
(Slurps)
Perfect.
What are you doing?
Having my lunch.
Well, I thoughtthat was for me.
Oh, no.yours is on the stove.
Oh, and bring me some puddingand a beer, will ya?
What's going on?
You tell me.
Jim, why are youacting this way?
Acting.that's interesting.
Acting--make-believe,pretend, faking,
Snow job, buffalo,baloney,
Bamboozle! I know whatyou're up to, woman.
What are youtalking about?
Oh, come on--the soup,the back rubs, the laundry,
Making me watch driving miss daisy.
You been playing mepretty good, toots,
But the game is over. What--what game?
You are faking this grief overyour uncle donald to work me.
What? How could youeven think that?
Oh, boo-hoo.
Boo-freakin'-hoo.
Hey, you wanna feel better?
How abouta little trip to hawaii?
♪ I wanna go backto hawaii ♪
♪ My little grass shack ♪
♪ Back-a, back-a,back-a, hawaii ♪
That's whatyou think this is?
That's what you thinkthis is all about?
By the toneof your voice,
I'm having my doubts,but go on.
My uncle donald wasa decorated world w*r ii hero.
He saw hundreds of his shipmatesperish at pearl harbor.
His last wish was to have hisashes strewn where they d*ed.
I was hopingto make that possible.
There'sa little soup left.
Yeah. Eat it.
Whew...
Pearl harbor.
I didn't see that coming.
Hey, baby.
Hey, jackass.
Oh, we're talking,we're talking.
That's--that's good.
Cute names. That's good, too.cute names.
Look, can I at leastsay something in my defense?
Do you really thinkyou have a defense?
Well, I have oneup here...
But it may fall apartwhen it comes out here.
All right.
Remember, the last thing youwanna do is make things worse.
That's whyi'm taking my time.
Okay, so you'renot working me.
But dana seemsto be over uncle donald,
And I understand
That she was closer to himthan you were.
So I was thinking...
Maybe we couldtake a page
From those brave menwho survived pearl harbor and...
You know...
Suck it up and move on.
(Sighs)
I've made it worse,haven't i?
Just to be clear,he actually used the words,
Suck it up ?
Yeah, and here'sthe scary part--
That was aftergiving it a lot of thought.
Ugh.
I'm telling you,in years,
I have neverbeen this mad at him.
Well, on the bright side,
Your sadnesshas been replaced by anger.
Anger, fury, bitterness.
You know, I do feel better.
You know, if you wantedto really feel better...
Nah, forget it. What?
Well, it's just,most people would want revenge.
Oh, dana, revenge is such an ugly word.
But it'sthe correct one.
Oh... Oh...
Dana, come on.i mean, you know me.
I-i could never...
Understandunless you explain further.
Okay.
Jim already feels so guilty,he would do anything for you,
So use your imagination,have fun.
You could really...
Well, punish is an ugly word.
But it isthe correct one.
Jim?
Do you think he heard you?
(Heavy footsteps)
Hey. Yes?
What can I do for you?
And thanksfor calling me jim.
Do you know that little delithat has the corned beef I like?
In--in milwaukee?
I think a sandwich from therewould really pick me up.
I'll be backin four hours.
(Door shuts) I have neverbeen prouder of you.
When he gets back,i'm gonna tell him
He forgotthe potato salad.
I think I'm gonna cry. Aw.
I'm here for you, baby.
(Cheryl) jim?
You're gonna put inthose little tiny marshmallows
In my cocoa, right?
I'm here for you, baby.
Whatcha doin'?
The bereaved wants cocoa.
Well, has it ever occurredto you that maybe, just maybe,
Cheryl's laying it on thicklike this just to punish you?
Of courseit's occurred to me.
I had to go to iowafor ice cream.
Well, call her on it.
This sl*ve-toady thingis pathetic.
You're like mewith a new girlfriend.
I can't call heron anything. Never again.
What if I'm wrong?
If I'm wrong, I'll bedoing nice stuff till I die.
(Cheryl with singsongy voice)jim, my cocoa.
Almost done.
Oh, I can'ttake this anymore.
Her little gamesare gnawing at me
Like a starving coyoteripping at my salty thighs.
You are upset.that's a hell of a metaphor.
I want revenge,but--but I'm stuck.
I don't have a move.
(Whispers)spit in her cocoa.
What?
Spit in her cocoa.it's perfect.
What, are you crazy?
No, no...(Normal voice) trust me.
It'll make you feela whole lot better.
I do itall the time at work.
You work with me!
I know what you're thinking.let's stay focused on cheryl.
I... I'm not gonna spitin my wife's cocoa.
Take it from a man who's oftenangry and always powerless.
Do it, jim.
Do it.
(Cheryl) jim?
Jim.
Odorless, colorless.
(Cheryl) jim!
(Laughs evilly)
Doesn't that feel good?
Now go make herdrink it.
Let her taste your anger.
Here'syour hot cocoa, dear.
Oh.
Be careful.
It's very hot.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Wait!
Don't drink it, cheryl.
Why not?
(Sighs) cheryl, look.
I know you're havinga hard time right now,
And I'm no judgeof the grief process,
But I'm reallybeginning to hate you.
What?
I just spitin your cocoa.
What?!
I know.it surprised me, too.
What the hellis going on?
I just feel like, you know,you're still working me.
Well, I am working you. You what?
Yeah, toots,and you deserve it.
Aha!
No, no, you are so farfrom an aha, mister.
What do you mean? I'm onthe corner of a and ha.
No, jim.
No, you're not.
You know, you haven't understoodwhat I'm going through
From the beginning.
My uncle donaldwas my dad's big brother.
I caught my first fishwith him and my dad.
They taught me howto ride a bike.
I sat between them
When I was too afraidto ride on the ferris wheel.
And, you know,
Those are just of about , memories.
You know, I'll get throughthe rest just as fast as I can.
What's the matterwith you?
Oh, it's sad, jim.it's just sad.
I know, I know...and look at her.
She's obviouslyreally feeling this.
She's so upset right now,and I just blew the whole thing.
Not that.
Uncle donalddidn't take me fishing.
I never rodea ferris wheel.
I just wantedmashed potatoes.
Is that so wrong?!
Hey.
Whew.
I made somenew hot cocoa for you.
% Spit-free.
(Chuckles) I'd havedone the same thing...
Followed by that.
Mind if I join you?
(Sighs) you know,i was thinking about, uh...
You know, your uncle donald
And how it reminded meabout your dad
And what a great guyhe was.
He was the best. Yeah.
And I also thought about,
When your dad d*ed,
How it seemed likeyou got over it so quickly.
Well, I had to.
My mom completely lost it.the kids were babies.
I had to be therefor andy and dana.
No, no, no, I remember.
That's whyi didn't understand
Why you got so upsetover uncle donald.
And then it hit methat all those stories
You were tellingabout uncle donald
Included your father.
So then I thought,
Well, maybe you were thinkingabout your dad, too,
And you're doing now
What you didn'tget to do back then.
I really miss my dad.
(Weeping)
I know, baby.
It's all right, honey.
You can miss him.
Why don't you drinksome of that hot cocoa
Before it gets cold?
Would you do me a favor?
Anything.
Would you sipfrom both of them?
Seriously, do it.
(Slurps)
(Slurps)