02x01 - You Know What You Did

[bunniefuu]

- [water rippling]
- [Jen] The f*ck am I doing?

- [metal hinge creaks]
- [thudding]

[Jen] f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. Oh, my God.

f*ck! f*ck! I f*cking hate doing this.

I can't do this. I can't do this.

- Eggs are ready.
- Huh?

- Oh, Jesus.
- sh*t.

You know, you didn't have to stay.

[sighs] You need to eat something.

[Jen] I can't. I...

[scoffs] I honestly don't think
I'm ever gonna eat again.

Come the f*ck on!

- You kidding me?
- [Henry] Hi, Mom.

Judy's back! Hi!

- Hey. Morning.
- Hi!

- I missed you.
- I missed you, too.

Thanks for my bird.
Oh, I should go get it.

Huh? No, uh, no.

Uh, sweetheart, why don't you just
go have your breakfast right now?

Then get your shoes on. I don't want you
to be late for the bus.

I thought Judy wasn't gonna be
in our lives anymore.

You guys are friends again, or...

- Uh...
- Um...

- I'd like to think that's the case.
- Not really, it's not like that.

- I'm hoping...
- She came to get the rest of her things.

- [Charlie] Got it.
- So...

Oh.

- Um, where are all of my things?
- I b*rned them.

Even my paintings?

Look, I was upset.
There was only, like, two.

- My friend Parker just got a car.
- Yeah.

And Jake is getting his mom's Lexus.

Oh, my God. No!

Charlie, I can't.

I've had my permit for, like, a week.

- She won't even let me practice driving.
- Okay, got you.

Charlie, please, not now. Please.

Okay? I've... I've had
a really long night, and, um...

you will practice.

Okay? I promise you, honey.

[under breath] Now f*cking drop it...

[in normal voice]...and go to school.

Thank you.

Why is the pool cover on?

The pool cover?

- Um, well, we thought that it was...
- Something d*ed.

- What?
- A squirrel.

Dog.

- Spider... dog.
- It was a dog.

- A dog d*ed in the pool?
- [Jen] Yeah.

- A big one.
- Yeah.

[Henry] I lost my appetite.

- [Judy] It was old.
- The dog would've wanted you to eat.

It was very old.

- I think it might have k*lled itself.
- Okay, that's enough.

["Best Things in Life"
by the Dreamliners playing]

♪ Let's share your dream ♪

♪ You and me ♪

♪ So young and free ♪

♪ Yes, these are the best things in life ♪

Thank you for not burning everything.

I ran out of lighter fluid.

I, um...

I guess we...

should talk about what we...

shouldn't talk about
before we don't talk again.

Yeah. Yeah, we should.

No one can ever know what happened
or where Steve...

I know. I'm not stupid.

You know what,
I'm hearing you say, "I know,"

but I also know that you tend
to get a little confessy.

Well, I got confessy with you
because I couldn't let you believe

that you were responsible
for your husband's death.

You lied a long time, though.

I did, so you know I can.

- Oh, you can.
- Yeah.

And I promise you,
the last thing I want right now

is to put you in any more danger.

Oh, you know what?

It's too f*cking late, Judy.

I am in a lot of f*cking danger now.

[sighs]

I just don't understand how any
of this could have happened.

I told you.

Okay?

He got in my face.

[sobs] And he tried to strangle me.

And it was very scary.

And I had to fight back
because my boys were inside.

Okay, but don't you think
the police would understand?

That was self-defense.

Yes, it was. It was,

but what am I gonna...
How's it gonna look if I go to the cops?

Steve k*lled my husband.

And you're the one who f*cking told me

that his family's
so f*cking connected to the police.

They are. The chief is his godfather.
It's just a title, but...

Not to mention my f*cking house
would be a crime scene, and...

I'd be opening my boys up
to an investigation.

That would be very hard to come back from,
developmentally.

They already lost their dad. [sniffles]

- They can't lose me, too.
- No, you're right. You're right.

I just... I was suggesting
going to the police

because I know how hard it is
to hide something.

- It takes a toll.
- [sighs]

[stammering] I just feel so bad.

Okay, you know what?
I don't need your f*cking pity right now.

What I need is for you to keep quiet.

Okay.

I'm so sorry that I started
this shitstorm.

[sniffles]

And I just can't believe that he's gone.

- Except he's not.
- [sobbing] But he is.

- Right? No.
- No, he's not.

You need to act like he's not.

Right. Right.

Right.

All right. Um...

Well, thank you for your help last night.

- Feel free to call me if you ever need...
- Goodbye, Judy.

Bye.

- Bye.
- [door closes]

Don't get any closer to me.

I'm not going anywhere until you tell me
where the f*ck Judy is.

["Who's Sorry Now"
by Connie Francis playing]

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Who's sorry now? ♪

♪ Whose heart is achin' ♪

♪ For breakin' each vow? ♪

sh*t.

♪ Right to the end... ♪

[panting]

♪ I tried ♪

♪ To warn you somehow ♪

♪ You had your way... ♪

[sighs]

♪ Now you must pay ♪

♪ I'm glad that ♪

♪ You're sorry now ♪

- Terry. Hi.
- Hey.

Whoa, cute skirt.

Uh, they're pants.

Oh. Yeah.
You should get them in every color.

- Technically they're culottes, I guess.
- [laughs] That's tricky.

Listen, I wanted to ask you,
I hope it doesn't sound weird,

but do you think that I could crash
in Abe's room just for a week or two?

- I'm sorry?
- Don't be sorry, I have my own bedding,

but it's just that I miss him a lot,

and I thought that maybe I could
scratch that itch by sleeping in his room.

Also, I do need a place to stay.

I thought Angela said you were living
with your family.

Oh, I was, but now I wasn't, so...

It didn't work out
the way I thought it would.

Okay, well,
a new resident is moving into Abe's,

and we're at capacity, so...

Oh, wow, that's great, full capacity.
I love that for us.

Right? [laughs]

But you have a place to stay. I mean...

You got people, right?

- Oh, totally.
- Yeah.

Totally, totally.

- Good.
- Totally.

[crying]

[continues crying]

[grunts]

[continues crying, sniffles]

[whirring]

- [Karen] Hey, neighbor.
- Oh.

Jesus Christ, Karen,
snuck up on me like a f*cking Prius.

Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.

Wondering if you want to have
some orange wine tonight.

Jeff's in Boston on business.

Uh, no, I... what the f*ck is orange wine?

I don't really know.

I saw it on a Reddit subthread
about menopause, so...

Oh, cool. No, I, um...

I really need to go to bed early tonight,
so...

- You end up having a late night?
- Huh? No.

No, why?

Oh, I just thought
I heard a man back here.

Oh, well, yeah.

Must have been Charlie.

- No, it sounded like a full-grown man.
- [scoffs]

Well, you got me. [laughs]

I was...

I was f*cking a full-grown man last night.

- [Karen] Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

Sounded more like an argument.

Well, you don't know how I f*ck.

Right.

Okay, so listen,
I really need to get back to...

Didn't you just get
these cameras installed?

[murmurs] Jesus Christ.

I did, but, um, I changed my mind.

Oh, I'm not surprised.

I didn't wanna say anything,

but Jeff and I really prefer
the system we have.

- It's the same one the Mossad uses.
- Cool.

You should see the resolution
on our street cam.

Your what?

Our street cam. You could see
the whole block. It's like a movie.

[exhales] You know what?

f*ck it.

Why don't we have that orange wine
right now?

Uh, it's 11:30 a.m.

Be cool, Karen.

Okay, yeah.

- All right, great.
- Sounds cool.

- Why are you standing? Go get it.
- Okay, yeah.

- Go get it.
- All right.

[whispering]
f*ck me. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Where is it?

[chattering]

- Oh! Hi, is this not 140?
- [gasps] Oh.

Oh, no, it is. Thank you.

This is it?
This is where you're dumping me?

Yes, Mom.

This is where I've spent my life savings
to make you comfortable.

This is a wonderful room.

Best one in the place, if you ask me.

See? Thank you.

I'm Judy.

I was just, you know, making sure
everything's perfect for you.

Thank you, Judy.
This is my mom, Flo, and I'm Michelle.

- Hi.
- Are you the maid?

- No, I teach arts and crafts.
- [Michelle] Oh.

So is crawling around on the floor
an art or more of a craft,

- would you say?
- Both.

You know, I like to make sure
there's a tight tuck, 'cause...

'cause sometimes people really like that.

I'm good at it, so I hope that's okay.

Yeah, no worries.

No, none, no.

Great. Great.

Well, it was wonderful to meet you...

Flo. Bye.

See you guys.

Keep her away from me.

[Michelle] Mom,
there was no way she didn't hear that.

[cell phone ringing]

- [clicks]
- [ringing stops]

[Karen] The quality is amazing, right?

[Jen] No, it's great, but is it even legal
to spy on people like that?

Oh, there's basically
no privacy laws anymore.

Oh.

It's one of the reasons
I'm glad I live in this era.

- Oh, right. That's...
- Yeah.

- Not that it matters.
- [inhales]

Nothing interesting ever happens
on our street.

Except for whatever happened
in this backyard last night.

- What?
- You know, with the...

f*cking.

Oh, yeah.

The... f*cking.

YALO. Or is it YOLO?

I don't know, Karen.

Okay. Look, it even has night vision.

[Jen] Oh.

- That's last night.
- Wow, that's... that's really clear.

[Karen] Mm-hmm.

Do you like the orange wine?

Yeah, yeah, it really coats the mouth.

- [water rippling]
- Um...

How do you erase this? Do you erase this
every day, or how do you erase it?

Uh, I don't. I keep it all on the cloud.

[rustling]

[Karen] What is that noise?

[panting]

[loud click]

- [whirring]
- Wait, what are you doing?

What the f*ck? What are you doing?

- There's a sound coming from your drain.
- Huh?

You don't want anything stuck in there.

Could be a nightmare.

- Yeah. Yep. [mutters]
- Hmm?

Here's the culprit.

Yeah, that's just a toy. It's just a...

Shouldn't be in there.

Kinky.

Oh.

[rings]

[Steve] Hey-o, you've reached TKG Arts,

Laguna's leading art gallery
for local and international artists,

showing by appointment only.

- You know what to do.
- [beeps]

- [Michelle] Hey, Judy.
- Oh, hey.

Is there a lost and found here?

I found this cigar box someone left
in the room.

You know, hidden in the box spring?

Oh, weird, someone left that there.

Yeah, it's super weird.

And I definitely didn't look inside

to see that there was a bunch of weed
and some car keys.

Thank you.

Oh, okay.

Your hair smells so good.

Thanks?

You're welcome. [sniffles]

[Jen] Okay, now you just,
please, just be careful. Go slow.

- Mom, it's fine.
- Get your eyes on the road, please.

I know. I know.

Yeah. How... how do you know how to drive?

Dad taught me.

Oh. He did, huh?

Or he was teaching me,
right before he d*ed.

Was he?

It was actually really cool,
driving with him.

I'm glad that you got
to spend that time together.

Why didn't you tell me?

He said not to.
I guess he didn't want to piss you off.

- [horn honks]
- [Jen] Watch out!

- [sighs]
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm... Yeah.
- Oh, my God!

Watch where you're going, you assh*le!
It's a f*cking intersection,

- m*therf*cker!
- He can't... He drove away!

- Could've k*lled someone, f*cking c**t!
- Calm down.

He can't f*cking hear you.

f*cking don't f*cking cuss at me!

[seagulls crying]

- [keys jangle]
- [engine turns over]

[sighs]

Thank you, Abe.

[Jen] So I was looking online,

and we can actually petition
to get a stop sign at that intersection.

- Nothing happened.
- Hm?

You... you're overreacting.

Okay, well, I'm not.

And you know what? Don't ever tell a woman
that she is overreacting, okay?

Because most of the time,
women are underreacting.

This is my reaction,
which means that I am reacting perfectly.

Is Judy coming back?

- They broke up again.
- Char.

[sighs]

You break up a lot.

[Charlie]
Can we go eat in front of the TV?

Fine.

[lock jangling]

[lock jangles]

[cell phone ringing]

[sighs]

[ominous music playing]

[Henry shouting] Mom! Mom!

- [Jen] Hey. Hey, Boop. Boop.
- Mom.

Boop, honey.
Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?

- Yeah.
- Oh. [exhales]

You want to tell me?

Well...

[stammering] I was alone in a room.

And... and someone...
someone was taking you away.

Oh. Do you...

Do you know who it was?

I'm not sure, I couldn't tell.

Oh. Yeah, that...

That is a bad dream, huh?

Yeah.

Do you know what?

You know it was just a dream...

because I'm right here.

[sniffles] You are not alone.

You'll always have me.

Okay?

You'll always have your mama.

[kisses]

- Close your eyes.
- [sighs]

[crying]

[continues crying]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[rings]

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

I didn't think you'd answer.

I didn't think you'd call.

You left your, uh... bracelet here.

Oh. Sorry. I, uh...

You can just throw it out, or...

burn it or whatever.

Oh.

Thought maybe you left it here on purpose.

Like, as an excuse to see me again.

- Did it work?
- [mechanical whirring]

[inhales]

[mechanical beeping]

What's that sound?

- [whirring continuing]
- [Jen] Where are you?

[Judy] Um, I'm, uh...

parked outside of my old dentist's office.

- Dr. Nguyen?
- Yes.

You go to him too?

- [thuds]
- sh*t, I was gonna roll up the window,

- but I fell.
- [laughing on TV]

I guess it took Mrs. Garrett's crisis
to bring us together.

Yeah. How much longer are we gonna
have to keep up this act?

[Blair] We'll just have to keep this up
until she's over her little problem.

Then everything'll be back to normal.

[Nancy] Yeah. We don't want to break...

Thank you for having me over.

Well, I'm not gonna
have you sleeping in a car.

[scoffs] I slept in a car for,
like, a year with my mom.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Might have been a year and a half.

Wasn't that bad. It was a hatchback.

Oh, God, Mrs. Garrett.

- [sighs]
- Oh.

Don't you wish that you had a Mrs. Garrett

just tell you that
everything's gonna be all right?

Yes.

Everything is gonna be all right.

That's not as good.

- No?
- No.

- [laughs]
- Sorry.

[Judy sighs]

[crying] I don't know what to do, Judy.

This... this feels impossible.

Oh, no. I know.

I know you know.

I'm right here.

[Jen sniffles]

Okay.

[sniffles]
I didn't realize I had it so good

when I was just, like, regular unhappy.

Yeah.

God, I would k*ll for some
down-the-middle depression right now.

Just some real good,

- deep dissatisfaction.
- Yeah.

sh*t. I'm sorry.

It's like I forget for a second,
and then I just remember about Steve.

Yeah.

[sobbing] I know we weren't even
together,

but suddenly,
I can't imagine my life without him.

I'm... I'm... I'm sorry, Judy.

- I'm so...
- [sniffles]

- I'm so, so sorry.
- No, no, no. Don't be sorry.

He was attacking you,
and it was not your fault.

Yeah.

I'm not going anywhere until you tell me
where the f*ck Judy is.

Please just leave.

I don't know why the f*ck
you're protecting her.

She just feels sorry for you.

Poor little widow, all alone,

cheating husband.
Boy, he was miserable, wasn't he?

f*ck this! I'm out of here.

- [grunting]
- [Steve winces]

[exhales]

- Judy.
- Yeah?

Can...

Can I... can I give you a hug?

[crying]

- [Jen] No, no, no, really.
- [Judy] Really?

Yeah. No, it's fine.

I mean, you can stay
until you find somewhere permanent.

Okay, and to be clear,
you b*rned all of my stuff?

Well, not your blanket.

And some of your crystals
wouldn't take the hint,

but...

Oh, also...

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Hey.

Parker's gonna be driving me to school.

Oh, is that a telling, not an asking?

Pretty much.

Guess you guys can't stay away
from each other, huh?

Hey.

[Jen] Oh, excuse me. Wait a minute.

Do I know this Parker,
and does he have a license?

Uh, yeah, she does.

Wear a seat belt, please!

- Do you think that they're...
- No.

[doorbell rings]

[Jen] Coming.

[knock on door]

Good morning.

["Best Things in Life"
by the Dreamliners playing]

[vocalizing]

♪ Let's share your dream ♪

♪ You and me ♪

♪ So young and free ♪

♪ Yes, these are the best things in life ♪

♪ Right place ♪

♪ A warm embrace ♪

♪ A smiling face ♪

♪ Yes, these are the best things in life ♪

♪ Without your love ♪

♪ It doesn't mean a thing ♪

♪ For only you can make these things ♪

♪ Worth remembering ♪

♪ A yellow moon ♪

♪ A daily tune ♪

♪ A night in June ♪

♪ Yes, these are the best things in life ♪

♪ Without your love ♪

♪ It doesn't mean a thing ♪

♪ For only you can make these things ♪

♪ Worth remembering ♪

[meows]