03x10 - We've Reached the End

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "d*ad to Me". Aired: May 3, 2019 - November 17, 2022.
Follows two women who tragically lose someone in their lives and find an unexpected friendship emerge.
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03x10 - We've Reached the End

Post by bunniefuu »

God, I haven't been on

a road trip in so long.

Or eaten Doritos.

Aren't we just always eating Doritos?

Please. Why didn't I do

so many things I wanted?

- Seriously.

- Like, why did I ever not eat bread?

- Why did I ever shave my legs?

- I don't know.

Why didn't I have sex

with everybody constantly?


Why was I so worried about being good?


- we are being bad now, baby!

- Mm-hmm.

- 'Cause we are on the lam!

- Yeah!

- Is it lam, or is it lamb?

- I don't know.

But since we're outlaws, I think

we should have outlaw names.

Should we?

Yes! I think I should

be Judy Five Fingers.

Uh, what's Judy Five Fingers' thing?

- That she has all of her fingers still.

- Oh.

Like, she's that good. Like,

nobody's taken any of her fingers.

So stupid!

Oh, shit!


I'm b*tch Cassidy.

b*tch Cassidy.

And the Sundance Kid.


It's amazing.

So what exactly is our plan?

Um, well, we have three weeks,

which is the length

of the clinical trial.

- Right.

- So we are just going to relax.

- Mm-hmm.

- And you are going to drink.

And I'm going to watch, and

then we will rinse and repeat.

Or not rinse. I say we take

showering off the table.

- Yeah.

- Yeah!

Come on. Who's got the time?

And then, um, what about

after the three weeks?

What happens then?

I don't wanna think about that.

So, uh, all I know is that

you're not going back to jail.

They're gonna figure out that I'm not

in San Francisco at some point, right?

Then they're gonna

know you're helping me,

and that's aiding and abetting.

Oh, man, my bladder's about

to burst. I gotta pull over.

- Here?

- Yep!

And you can abet me by standing guard,

so people don't see me trying

not to piss on my ankles.


Ahh, okay.

Okay. My turn.

Oh, I gotta go!


- Oh!

- Yeah, let it out, girl.

- You ladies okay? Flat tire?

- Uh, we're fine.

- You sure?

- Yes, I'm f*cking sure!

- Oh, shit. Oh, my God, Judy.

- What?

- Judy, I know those guys.

- You do?

Yeah, they were at Agent Moranis' hotel.

Why were you at Glenn's motel?

I think they're FBI.

They're not FBI.

No, we're not.

- Get in the car. Get in the car.

- What? Okay, okay.

Hey, Judy.

Hi, Stavros.

- Stavros?

- Uh-huh.

- The Greeks?

- Uh-huh.

- Oh, my God.

- Uh-huh.

Where you ladies off to?

Oh, uh, you know, just

a little girls' weekend.

Bet you can afford a really nice hotel

with the money you stole from

Steve that he stole from us.

- What money?

- Don't play dumb.

We know that you and your girlfriend

have been talking to the FBI.

How do you know that?

Because we had a little

chat with them too.

We know you stashed the money

inside those creepy little

girl paintings, Judy.

So let's cut the shit.

I don't wanna have to use this.

This is my least

favorite part of the job.

Oh, my God. No, no, no, no!

- No, it's okay.

- Please don't. Oh, no, no.

- Just sh**t me.

- What?

Yeah, I'm dying anyway.


I have cancer.

She does.

- It's terminal.

- It is.

- She's having a really hard time with it.

- I am!

I lost both my parents to cancer.

I lost my yaya.


But I'm still gonna need that cash.

Well, I don't have it because

I spent it on my treatment.

Because she doesn't have insurance!

Right. I lost my job, then

I was too late for Obamacare.

So what am I supposed to do?

I'm sorry about all of that, but look.

What am I supposed to tell Constantine?

Just tell him that I'm already d*ad.

- I mean, I will be soon anyway.

- Don't say that!

Well, it's true

- Oh, my God! Are you okay?

- Ow!

- Shit, I don't know. I don't know.

- Judy!

Oh, my God, I need my medicine.

Okay, will you please just

let her get her medicine?

Is that allowed?

Of course. Let her have

her f*cking medicine.

- What are you doing?

- I got this.

What's going on?

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Drop your g*n and get in the car.

Oh, come on. You are not gonna use that.


g*dd*mn it!

Oh, f*ck!

Do what I f*cking said!


Okay. Okay.

Yep, mm-hmm.

Good boy. Go on. Put it down.

There you go.

That's right. Back it on up, boys.

Back it on up.

Get in!

Thank you!

- Okay, move over. I'm gonna drive.

- What the f*ck? What the f*ck?

- Holy shit! Holy f*cking shit!

- Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm okay, but I'm I'm sorry.

Who the f*ck are you? f*cking badass!

I know. I mean, I really feel like

I came into my own in

the last ten minutes!

You really have.

Oh, my God, were we just almost

m*rder by the Greek mafia?

- They're a syndicate, but yes.

- Whatever.

Wait. What were you

doing at Glenn's motel?

I, uh,

was there to tell him that I

am pregnant with Steve's baby.

What? Why?

Because that would explain why my

DNA is slathered all over his body.

It was a great plan

until you scuttled it.

- Oh, you were the plan scuttler.

- Oh, please.

I still can't believe you confessed.

- Really?

- Yeah.

It was pretty on the nose for me.

- Oh, shit. It's Ben.

- Okay.

- What is the plan there?

- I don't know.

- Well, bit of advice from a dying woman.

- Shut it.

- No, I'm wise, and I'm dying.

- Nope, you're neither.

Yes, and if you ever wanna have

the possibility of a real life with him,

you have to be honest about everything.

You deserve to be happy,

and you and I both know

that that can't happen

if you're living a lie.

But what if I'm living la vida loca?

- You're deflecting.

- I'm scuttling.

- Stop scuttling.

- I can't stop. It's what I do.

Okay, fu

- I'll stop!

- What? I'm stopping 'cause we're here.


- Welcome, señorita! Hmm?

- Hmm.

So, uh

how long has it been

since anyone's been here?

Because it it

definitely has that, uh

abandoned, like

mansion musk.

Steve used to come

down here all the time.

He loved it here, but you know,

obviously, he hasn't been here

- Did you see that?

- Yes, I saw that.

- What if someone's here?

- Who'd be here?

I don't know. Does he Airbnb the place?

How can he Airbnb the place? He's d*ad.

- Don't tell them that!

- Sorry!

- I'm turning on the lights.

- No, 'cause then they'll know

Oh! Oh! Oh! f*ck you! No, no!

- Oh, Jen, it's a little kitty!

- No!

Okay, that's still not great.

Hi, baby.

Okay, you know, can we please get

it out of here before it m*rder us?

I think we're the

m*rder in this situation.

Okay, well, you don't

know that cat's backstory.

- Oh, I'm gonna let her out. Come on!

- Get it out. Please get

- Come on!

- I don't wanna be left

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty! Come on.

There you go!

Come on.

Holy shit!

I can't believe it.

- We're finally on vacation. Ahh!

- We're here!

We're here. You're q*eer.

- And you're used to it.

- Yep.

Oh, God, Steve and I

were great on vacation.


Most of my good memories

with him are from this place.

You know, Ted and I

would never have sex ever,

but on vacation, it's

like Bangtown City.

Yes! Bangtown City!

Seriously, I mean, we

could be at a Holiday Inn

on the side of a highway,

and it's like twice in one night.


Wow, twice.

- Are you judging?

- No, twice is better than none.

- Okay, well, then, what's a lot?

- A lot is like, I don't know.

I'd say six.

Low ball four.

- Oh, my God!

- It's not always good.

Our two was, like,

not even to completion.

My point is, life should

be a permanent vacation.

It should!

It really should.


- Look at this.

- Hmm.

What a cool shell.


I just had déjà vu.

- You did?

- Yeah.

That's a good sign.

- Are you sure?

- Mm-hmm.

Déjà vu is just your brain

reminding you to remember.

Am I crazy, or does this look like

the guy from the Counting Crows?

How high are you?

Oh, I'm extremely high.

Looks like an old man's nut sack.

No, it looks like a beautiful garlic.

Nut sack.

Why did you say that?

I was gonna save it!

What? So you can put it in

your mouth four to six times?

Come on. You wanna go outside?

- All right.

- Get outta here!

- Oh, so beautiful.

- Ah! Look at that.

Look at the moon!

I think it might be funnier in Spanish.

- Oh, it definitely is.

- Mm-hmm.



Don't f*cking look at me like that.





- Hey!

- I was looking all over for you!

Oh, I took the boat out on

the water to see the sunrise.

- It was beautiful.

- Great.

Next time leave a f*cking note

because you scared the shit out of me.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

I'm sorry too. I just

I'm just cranky. I didn't

sleep at all because

Sundance Kid over here was

kicking me all night, so.


You should come out on the

water. It's really relaxing.

- Nah. Not really a boat person.

- So you're more of a no person.

- No.

- No?


Okay, you know what?

Is that thing even safe?

I think there are life

vests in the garage

if that makes you feel any better.

- No.

- You sure?

No means f*ck no.

Okay, well, we don't have to be

out on the water that long, right?

You know, because, like, I

haven't eaten breakfast really

or anything like that.

Well, before we go, I can

make a frittata if you want.

Oh, my God.

Is is that a '66 Mustang?

It is.

But, I mean, it's not

the Mustang, right?

It is.

I don't understand.

I don't either.

I mean, I found a a key

hidden in one of my paintings,

and I couldn't figure out

why Steve put it in there.

I thought you guys took it apart.


Oh, we did.

He must have put it

back together again? I

I am so sorry, Jen.

I'm so sorry.

That's weird 'cause it's

It just looks like

nothing ever happened.

But it did.

Do you want a golf club?

You know, just bash the shit out of it?

Might feel good.


No, it's it's just a car.

It's a really, really nice car.

Yeah, it is.

It's a classic.

But it's okay to hate it.

How could I hate it?

It brought you to me.

Do we still have to

go on the f*cking boat?

Thank you for trying.

Thanks for not making me go out there,

'cause I'm, uh,

nauseous enough as it is.

So, didn't know you

were such a a boater.

Oh, yeah. I used to go on a catamaran

all the time with my Uncle Paul.

Well, I mean, he wasn't really my uncle.

He was sort of my mom's friend who

she would leave me with sometimes.

- I'm scared of where this story is going.

- No, it's a good story.

Okay, good, 'cause, you know

Yeah, no, I know. But

Paul was a really nice guy.

We were buds.

He would take me out on the

bay, like, every weekend.

And when I was out on that water,

I was just, like, the

most free I ever felt.

But then him and my mom got

into a fight or something.

- And then I never saw him again.

- Hmm.

Like, literally got in his boat

and never came back.

Okay, well, that's shitty.

Mm. I don't know.

Sometimes I like to imagine

that he's still out there

somewhere, sailing free as a bird.

I always did wonder who

he really was though.

Like, maybe he was really your father?


I'll never know.




We only have a few days left, you know.

I know.

You know, I was I was thinking.

What if you d*ed?

Well, I think that's a

bit more than a "what if."

No, no, no. I mean, like, what if

you "d*ed" in the clinical trial?

And then we both just stay here?

You can't stay here. What

about Charlie and Henry?

Oh, no, they can come too.

I'm just saying, you know, I

can do real estate anywhere.

And if we sell our

house, we'll have cash.

So you're gonna move down here

and have a baby and never

tell Ben that he has a kid?

- That's your plan?

- Okay, well, it's You know, it's a plan.

I haven't really worked out

all the details yet, but yeah.

You can't pretend your

real life doesn't exist.

I'm not!


Just this way, we can

we can be together for

for the time that we have left.

Mm-mm. No, I don't want that for you,

and I don't want that for the boys.

- Judy, please!

- No.

I don't want it to be

like it was with your mom.

Seeing her suffer. I

won't put you through that.

- I won't put me through that.

- I don't care!

I do!

You have to go back.

You don't wanna miss Henry's concert.

Yes, I do. Desperately!

Have you seen that kid dance?

You have a life in g*n.

You have a life inside you.

Okay, I don't wanna

Just let's not I can't talk anymore.

You promise me.

Don't let that baby grow up

without knowing its father.

Trust me.

- It creates a hole in your heart that

- Judy.

- No, no.

- It's okay. You're okay.

Okay, I'm I'm sorry. We

don't speak Spanish. Um

No, he said that you have

something called placenta previa,

and that's the cause of the bleeding.

Okay, well, what does that mean?


What? What did he say? What did he say?

Is there something wrong with the baby?

He said

she looks really healthy.

- She does?

- She does!

- Sí. We'll definitely follow up. Gracias.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We will.


She's a girl.

She is!

All right, I'm not gonna say

I wasn't hoping for a girl

'cause I don't even know

what I was hoping for.

And I mean, you know how gender is

just so loosey-goosey these days.

- Yeah.

- But damn, was I hoping for a girl.

- Oh, I know. I know. Me too!

- Oh, God.

- It's not like boys aren't fine.

- Oh, they're great.

- But girls are better, obviously!

- The best, obviously!

Oh, my God!

That was scary.

Yeah, it was.

I'm f*cking starving.

Oh, there is an amazing

taquería right next to the house.

- "Taquería"?

- Yeah.

Are you trying to tell me that

you have been able to speak Spanish

this entire time?

Sí. Claro que sí.

Okay, now you're just showboating.

- Aww.

- Judy.

Look at that.

My God.

Que preciosa.

- Don't know what that means.

- Mm.

- Mmm!

- Mmm! Mmm!

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

So what you're saying is that

Mexican food is better in Mexico.

- It's a little-known secret.

- Yeah.

It's got a little kick

to it, though, but, yeah.


Speaking of which,

we got a mini Rockette

up in here right now.

- She kicking?

- Yeah.

Come on! Come feel me up!

All right, gimme your hand.

Right down. Right

there. Just just wait.

I know.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hi! What are you doing in there?

Being a boss-ass B?

Oh, oh. Oh, God. Something's happening.

Just don't make eye contact, okay?

- Just don't

- Hola!

What did I just say?

No, no, gracias.

- Come on.

- What?

- We're gonna dance!

- No!


I really hate you.

- Who is it?

- No one.

- Get it!

- No!

- Yes!

- No, because we're dancing! Come on. Oh!

- You are scuttling!

- All right, all right.

You have a collect call

- I'll accept.

- Connecting now.

- Jen? Hey.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I didn't think you'd pick

up. I've been trying you.

Oh, sorry.

I'm just, uh, hanging with Judy,

and we're just eating some dinner.

Well, how are you?

I'm okay. Um, listen, I


I'm pregnant.



- Mm-hmm.

- That's amazing.

Is it okay if I ask,

is it is it is it mine?

Yeah, of course.

It's not an immaculate conception.

- Jeez.

- Oh, my God!

I'm smiling so big, I'm

definitely gonna get punched.

I actually have some news for you too.

Wait. What?

- Agent Moranis is d*ad.

- Like, literally d*ad?

Like, literally m*rder

to literal death. Yeah.

- My God!

- I know.

What? How?

Oh, my God, he has a dog!

- I haven't told you the best part yet.

- Okay, a man is d*ad, but

They think the Greeks did it.

They think the Greeks k*lled Glenn?

Yeah. And Steve.

- And Steve?

- Mm-hmm.

- Why do they think that?

- I don't know.

I guess his room was ransacked,

and and a bunch of

Steve's case shit was missing.

Look, the point is,

Judy, we both can go back now.

I don't know. Nick

still has my confession.

- Well, we can just scuttle it.

- That I don't think is scuttleable.

Fine, then just tell him

you made it up or something

and that the Greeks

threatened to k*ll you,

which isn't technically a lie.

Yeah, yeah, I just need

to grab a glass of water.

I think I'm starting to believe in

some, um, higher power shit here.

Because, uh, the timing is Oh, yeah.

I'm throwing up as I say it divine.

I mean, how could we

Oh, my God, Judy!


I I didn't realize that

you were in so much pain.

I didn't want you to realize.

How long has it been like this?

You know when something

starts, it's like a little pain?

And it's there one day and not the next,

and then it's there more days,

and then you just kind

of learn to live with it?

Well, I don't want you to suffer.

So we will figure it out,

okay? Right when we get back.

I'm not going back.

What? What do you mean?

I'm gonna stay.

Permanent vacation.

No, no, I'm not I'm not leaving you.

No, you're not leaving me.

I'm staying.

I guess that's fine.

I mean, it's not that far.

Mm-mm. It really isn't.

I could come see you on weekends.

And I'll visit.

Okay, maybe you can

come up for Henry's concert.

But you don't need to

decide that right now.

It's just just think about it, okay?


I've had the best time, Jen.

I know. Me too.

You were right. This

place is It's beautiful.


I mean, I've had the best time

with you.

Me too.

You filled the hole in my heart.

Oh, shut up. Eww.

- I didn't mean to make you cry.

- Well, it's too late, sister.

I love you.

I love you too.

So, so much.

You've changed my life.

Come here, you.

Oh, f*ck.



- Mm-hmm.

- Do you wanna watch our show?


I think this was the one where

Tootie makes up a pretend boyfriend.

f*ck' Tootie.

- I love this song!

- I know you do.

You know, I wasn't sure

you were gonna come back.

- I told you I wasn't gonna leave you.

- I know.

Now, I know why you love this car.


I'm so glad it's yours now.

Thank you.

Are you okay back there, Sammy?

We're gonna be okay.

We're gonna be okay.

Just don't f*cking piss in my backseat.

- Hey.

- Hey, I'm so sorry I'm late.

No, no, no. Hey, you're

perfect! Get in here.


Also, let's hope you got a scootch

more rhythm than your brother, huh?

- Oh, no. It's that bad?

- No.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

But miracles happen every day, right?

Forget your troubles ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

You better chase all your cares away ♪

Shout hallelujah ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

Get ready for the Judgment Day ♪

The sun is shining ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

The Lord is waiting

to take your hand ♪

Shout hallelujah ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

We're going to the Promised Land ♪

We're heading across the river ♪

Wash the sins away in the tide ♪

It's all so peaceful ♪

On the other side ♪

Forget your troubles ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

You better chase all your cares away ♪

Shout hallelujah ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

Get ready for the Judgment Day ♪

Forget your troubles ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

Hi, can I sit down?

I have to sit in the

aisle. I get nauseous.


For the Judgment Day ♪

I'm sorry, Mom.

Thanks, baby.

Hallelujah, come on, get happy ♪

We're gonna be going to the ♪

- I'm sorry too, Jen.

- Hmm?

I never got particularly close to Jamie.


But she was always pleasant enough.

Hmm. Thanks, Lorna.

Forget your troubles ♪

Get happy, your cares fly away ♪

Shout hallelujah ♪

Get happy, get ready ♪

For your Judgment Day ♪

Come on, get happy ♪

Chase your cares away ♪

Hi. Thanks. Sorry.

- Hi.

- Hi.



But what are you do

How how did you

- Good behavior.

- Mm. Yeah, of course.

- Plus, I knew where to find you.

- How?

'Cause Judy sent me an invite.

- What?

- Yeah.

- When?

- Couple of weeks ago.

Is she here?


I think so.

Come on, get happy ♪

Get ready ♪

Get ready ♪

Get ready ♪

For the Judgment Day ♪

So much has been written

about the nature of loss.

The author Jamie Anderson said that

"Grief, I've learned,

is really just love."

"Grief is just love

with no place to go."

So we come here.

We call this a Grief

Circle for a reason.

One of them is that we are

literally sitting in a circle.

But the other is that

grief is a continuum.

It goes on and on.

And on and on, and

Okay, okay, we get it.

But it's also important to remember

that with loss comes new beginnings.

And speaking of that,

it looks like we have

some new people here today.

Uh, yeah, we do.

This is my daughter Joey.

- Aww.

- Hi, Joey!

Hi, Joey!

Oh, Jen, she's so cute.

Why didn't you name her Judy?

'Cause that would be weird, Linda.

Not if you really loved her.

This isn't a Hallmark

movie, Linda, okay?

Joey sounds too much

like Judy. It's confusing.

- I like Joey.

- You're confusing.

Yeah, more confusing.

No, I named her Joey,

because you know what?

- What if she's gender fluid?

- There's that.

Mom, watch!

Be careful, Boop!

Oh, whoa!

Henry Harding with a

perfect ten cannonball!

It's a classic for a reason, folks!

- He's the cannonball king!

- Whoo!

It wasn't even that big of a splash!

- Oh, not that big of a splash?

- No.

How about this?

How about that? Oh!

- Oh, you're so d*ad, man!

- Oh, no!

Wait! No, no. I'm sorry!

Don't wake up, Joey.

- No, baby, no.

- Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

Come on! I'll take you both.

Wait, wait, wait! Time out! Time out.

Time out. Time out. Seriously.

- Get outta here!

- Stop!

You sure you don't wanna

get in? Take a little dipper?

Oh, no, I'm good here.

Well, that works out.

'Cause I'm good here too.

Oh, she is so out.

- Like a light.

- Oh!

Mama's got the magic touch.

Oh, boy.

- I don't wanna sound like a cheeseball

- Too late.


But you know,

when I lost Steve, I didn't

think I'd ever be happy again.

I guess the feeling

was so heavy, you know.


But when I think about

what my life is now

What our life is

It's, like, more than

I deserve, you know?

Of course you do. That's dumb.

I've made a lot of dumb mistakes.

Well, I love you anyway.

I love you.


- Even though you're basically perfect.

- Oh, God, have you met me?


Hi, I'm Ben Wood.



I just got déjà vu.


You always wonder what that

means when that happens.

It's, um,

your brain reminding you to remember.

That makes sense. I'll remember that.



I have to tell you something.
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