Pat Boone and Family Thanksgiving Special (1978)

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Pat Boone and Family Thanksgiving Special (1978)

Post by bunniefuu »

[music playing]

- Oh, hey!

Hi.

It's me, Pat Boone,
the artful jogger.

Just trying to wake my
blood up a little bit.

You know, I got to
be the happiest man

alive tonight, doing
a Thanksgiving special

with the people I love.

And if I may say so, I
do have a terrific family

to be thankful for.

Just in case you don't
know, a wonderful wife

named Shirley who really
keeps me in shape;

four beautiful daughters.

Cherry is the oldest, and
she's married and mature.

There's Lindy.

She's also married, and she's
made me mature: a granddaddy,

twice.

And there's Debby.

And, of course, I guess you
know she sings a little bit.

And there's Laury, the youngest.

In fact, she's three years
younger than the eldest,

and the others are never
going to let her live it down.

Actually, I think they
get along very well.

LINDY: Debby, that's my
hair dryer you're using.

- So we hope that you'll
share the joy and the laughter

as well as--
DEBBY BOONE: Oh, no.

Yours is the pink one
with "Star" written on it.

- --the tender moments.

- Pat, I think you
better come inside.

It's the girls.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard.

Will you give me just
a few minutes folks?

I got to go in and lay a
little tenderness on the girls.

And we'll have a lot of fun.

[music playing]

d*ck TOEFL: It's "Pat
Boone and Family:

A Thanksgiving Special."

Starring Pat and Shirley
Boone, with Cherry,

Lindy, Laury, and Debby Boone.

With guest stars John
Byner, the Hudson Brothers,

Harry Lang as Joey
the bartender,

and special guest star Bob Hope.

- Just what I need
for more energy.

- Aha!

Let me guess.

You're going to donate
that to Weight Watchers?

- One slice won't hurt me.

After all, I'm jogging.

It'll go right through
me like putting water

in a steam engine.

- Yeah, well,
steam engines don't

have to wear a size 10 dress.
- 9.

- Whatever.

- I'll split it with you.

- Laury.

- OK.

What would I do without you?

- Oh, I figure about
two slices a day.

- You sure you don't mind
being left alone here, Daddy?

- Oh no.

- Yeah, we'd all be happy to
stay here and keep you company.

- Oh, I know you would.
But I'll be fine, girls.

You just go ahead
and enjoy the movie.

I think I'll just read a
little bit till the Hudson

Brothers get here.

- The Hudson Brothers?!

- I didn't tell you?

Oh, I invited them over.

I'm going to ask them to do
this charity benefit with me.

- Oh, we saw them on TV.

They're really great guys.

- A little eccentric
maybe, but great guys.

- They've got a real
crazy sense of humor.

- And they're very good looking.

- Very good looking.

You know, daddy, I
think maybe I should

stay behind and introduce you.

- Oh, no, Laury.

No, I'm perfectly capable
of introducing myself,

no matter how
eccentric they are.

Fact is I've got kind of a
crazy sense of humor myself.

- Believe me, daddy,
it's not the same.

They're really bonkers.

- Well, don't worry about it.

I can take care of myself.

Besides, I've got business to
talk about with them, you know,

so--
- OK, daddy.

- Thank you, Laury.
- See you later.

- Your loss.

- Go ahead and enjoy the movie.

Tell Lassie hi for me.

Be back by 9:00.

[doorbell chiming]

Hi, I'm Pat.

- Hi!

We're the Hudsons.

- Come in.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Been expecting you.

- Well, you guys
are a little early.

I guess you caught
a tailwind, uh?

Well, look, come on in.

Sit down.

- Thank you.

- So you're the Hudsons.

- Yep.
That's us.

All three of us.

- In the flesh.

- And we know your daughters.

- You know, they have
a crazy sense of humor.

- And they're a little
eccentric maybe, but--

- They're very good looking.

- You noticed.

Hey, you look a
little uncomfortable.

Can I get you a glass of milk?

A sandwich?

Uh, corn?
- No, thanks.

We're stuffed.

- Yeah.

How about some peanuts?

- Oh, thank you!

- That's terrific.

Hey, didn't I see you guys in
Farmer's Market or somewhere?

You're the Hudsons, huh?
- Yeah.

That's us.
- And you're Pat Boone.

- Yeah.

You know for a minute there
we didn't recognize you

in that crazy outfit.

- My crazy outfit?

Just my relaxing outfit.
- Relax.

Relax.
- I am.

I am.

- So you wanted to see us.

- Look, I'm not too
familiar with you guys

but I know you're terrific.

- Oh, pshaw.

- My daughters told me
you're great with the chicks

and really terrific.

I know.

And listen, I'm doing a charity
show, and I thought maybe--

- Hey, Pat, if it's
charity, we're interested.

- Absolutely.

- Right.

What does it pay?

- Chicken feed.

Sorry.

- Look, Pat.

I know we've got
this zany reputation.

But that's just on
our television series.

You know, off stage
we're just regular,

ordinary, dull
people just like you.

- You know, we've got to
be ourselves sometimes.

- And we wanted you to
see that real side of us.

- Could you guys maybe give
thought to a pilgrim sketch?

You know, that might be funny.
- Hey, well, how does it go?

- What?
- The pilgrim sketch?

- I don't know.
I just thought of it.

You know, I don't
have a punchline yet.

Why don't you guys maybe
come out dressed as pilgrims?

- Oh, you mean with
those black hats?

- Yeah.
- And in those long black coats.

- Right.
- And wearing those knickers?

- Exactly.

- Are you crazy?

- You think we'd come out
here dressed like that?

- And make fools of ourselves?

- I can't believe it!

- Listen, Mr. Boone.

It's been nice meeting you.

And if we don't see
you again, so what?

[barking]

- Gee, I didn't mean to ruffle
their feathers like that.

I said that.

- Hey, Joey, how you doing?

- Oh, hi, Mr. Boone!

- Gee, why so excited?

This is the closest I've ever
seen you come to perspiration.

- Well, I am excited because I'm
meeting somebody very special

here tonight.

- Gotcha, Mr. Boone.
Gotcha.

- You don't understand, Joey.

I'm talking about Hope.

I'm hoping a little
myself, Mr. Boone.

- Bob Hope.

Look, don't tell
anybody, but he's

coming here, just
any minute, and I

think he's going to invite
me on his Christmas tour.

- His Christmas tour?

- Yeah.

- Are we at w*r again?

- Joey.

- Just kidding, Mr. Boone.

No, really, that must
be quite an honor.

- Oh, it's a great honor.

I mean he only invites the
biggest stars on his Christmas

tour.

- That's great!

What can I get you Mr. Boone?

- Well, I think
it's a big night.

I want something to
put hair on my chest.

- Why-- why don't you just
stop shaving it, Mr. Boone?

- Well, you just
get me the usual.

- Right, right.

- I think I need a
little music in here.

Let's see.

Oh, hey.

[MUSIC - PAT BOONE, "APRIL
LOVE"] [SINGING] April love is

for--

- Hey, listen to that Joey.

There's not a scratch on it.

- That's because nobody
ever played it, Mr. Boone.

- Holy, skemolies!

There's Bob Hope!

- Hey, I might have known Boone
would be in a place like this.

There's a cop outside checking
your breath for curdling.

- Bob, I'm so glad
you could come.

- How are you?
- Glad you found the place.

- Well, could I miss it?

There's a butter
slick in the street.

Yes.

They're playing my
favorite golf song.

- Your favorite golf song?

- Yes, just a little below par.

- Well, it's always
kept me in the green.

Why don't you sit down?

- You almost shanked
that, didn't he?

- Oh, Mr. Hope.

Gee, you know, you're one
of my favorite people?

Anything on that menu is yours.

- He's out, huh?

Do you have anything on
here that's bad for you?

- I could give you some
milk in a dirty glass.

- I got to hand it to you, Pat.

I'd never have a kid
that funny on my show.

Yeah, I guess so.

I hear you've been
pretty busy, huh?

- Yeah, yeah.

I'm doing a
Thanksgiving special.

You know what that's like.

And then later, I'm going
to do an Easter special,

but Christmas is wide open.
- Ah, that's great.

Now you can spend more
time with your family.

Unfortunately, I have to work.

- Oh, well, I get to spend lots
of time with my family, Bob.

And you know, I
just love to work.

- Then how about filling
in for me Christmas Day?

- Joey, no, no.

I think I'm going to be
doing a little traveling

this Christmas.

- Yeah, me too.

I'm going on tour.

- Your tour-- your
regular Christmas tour!

Why sure.
Where is it start?

- Well, I'm going
to start down South.

- Oh, that's where I was born.

- Then I'm working
up the East Coast.

- That's where I got started.

- We're flying to the Orient.

- I love rice.

- Yeah, you'd probably buy Uncle
Ben's and convert it yourself.

- Gee, Mr. Hope,
you're really funny.

God, I wish I was
going on that tour.

- I'm sorry, kid.

I really came here to ask Pat
if I could take Debby with me.

- Bob, of course...

Debby?

- Yeah, you know, "You
Light Up My Life"?

Little blonde, real cute?

- You know, Mr. Boone.

Blue eyes, white teeth.

- Clam up, curdle breath.

Debby?

- Yeah.

Pat, I hope you don't mind.

- Mind?

Of course not.

Do I look like I mind?

- Well, the last time I
saw anybody that upset,

they were handed a
blindfold and a cigarette.

- No, no.

Of course, I don't mind.

I mean, if Debby wants
to go, she can go.

I mean, she'll be thrilled.

- He's right, Mr. Hope.

She'd do anything to
get out of that house.

- Will you go slurp a straw?

- I have to go, Pat.

I'm in a rented car, and if
I don't have it back soon,

OJ Simpson drives me to the
airport and jumps over my body.

- Well, thank you again, Bob.

- Good to see you.

- Love you, love you, Mr. Hope.

- Well, I guess I
better get on home.

I want to watch Debby pack.

- Sure.

- Love you, love you, Mr. Boone.

- Sure.

Ah, this is it.

I'm a goner.

Last will and
testament time, I know.

- Pat, I'm tense.

I hate to see you like this.

You're going to get wrinkles.

- But Shirley's
going to k*ll me.

The last thing she
said before I drove out

was "take care of my car."

And I bring it back with
this big dent in the fender.

Gosh darn it.

I'm sorry, John,
excuse the language.

- Oh, that's OK.
I was in the Navy.

- Oh, but what am I
going to do, John?

What's Shirley going to say?

- She's going to say, "Do you
always squint when you overact?

- John, I'm serious.
I'm in trouble.

I'm really in trouble.

- Oh, come on, Pat.

It's not like your tan
is starting to fade.

- My tan is starting--

- Pat, Patty,
Patrick, Pat, listen.

I'm trying to give you advice.

I'm your next door neighbor.

Relax.
- Relax?

Could you relax if you've
just been in a car wreck?

I was just in a
wreck 30 minutes ago.

And the thing is Shirley
did the same thing

to my car six months ago.

- Well, then you've got
nothing to worry about.

- Oh no, no.
I yelled at her.

I screamed at her.

She's going to k*ll
me when she finds out.

And she's got a right to.

- Ah, let me think.
Hold it.

I've got it.
- What?

- Lie.
- Oh, no way.

- Fabricate.
- Impossible.

- Embellish.

- Uh-huh.
- OK.

How about fib?

- There is a difference.

- Yeah.

Bad guys lie.

Cute guys fib.

It wasn't your fault. The
accident wasn't your fault.

- It wasn't my fault?

I was driving!

- But the way the
other guy was parked!

So arrogant.

It was an accident
waiting to happen.

- Why to me?
- Oh, OK.

Come on, Pat.
Sit down.

Sit down.
Relax.

This is what we're
going to tell her, OK?

We're going to tell her
we were driving along

Hollywood Boulevard on
our way to make a donation

to the Salvation Army.
That's it, the Salvation Army.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Right?

Get her sympathy, right?
- Yeah, OK.

- OK.

So we're driving along
and this elderly lady

crosses the street.

- Oh, yes.

- This very elderly lady.

I'm talking major elderly.

Now, she's got a dog
and a broken leg.

- Wait a minute.

The lady had a broken
leg or the dog?

- Both.

So you had to think quick.

You turned suddenly.

- To avoid the old lady?
- No.

- The dog?
- No.

The priest.

- The priest?

I didn't see any priest.

- Exactly!

And if it hadn't been
for that skateboard.

- There was a kid
on the skateboard?

- No, the priest.

- There was a kid on the priest?
- No.

The priest was on a skateboard.

That's when you avoided
the runaway shopping cart

and ran into the parked car.

- Oh, John.

No, thanks.

Yeah, you're a real pal.
I appreciate it.

But, no, it would never work.

I'm just going to have
to be honest because

around our house,
if you have anything

to say you just say it.

- Hi, fellows!

- Oh, hi-- uh, uh--

- Shirley.

- Shirley.

I know what it is.

- Honey, well, I--

uh, I was driving down
Hollywood Boulevard.

You know, in your car?
- My car?

- Yeah.

And there was this elderly lady.

I mean, major elderly lady.

And she was on her way
to the Salvation Army

to make a donation--

- Hey, what are you
doing here anyway?

I thought you had
the bathroom next.

- I do.

My luck, I'm following Debby.

She's been in there
over an hour already.

Be glad you caught
her on a fast day.

- Hi, guys.

- All that time for that?

- What time for what?

- The time you spent in
the bathroom getting ready?

- I wasn't in there.

- I thought you were.

I knocked on the
door and I could hear

was the sound of
that old hair dryer.

It's been going
on for 20 minutes.

- I wonder who it could be.

- Hi, girls.

Through with the bathroom now
in case anybody wants to use it.

I think one of you should.

[music - pat and shirley boone]
[SINGING] I shut off the heat.

I put out the cat.

Did everything that you said.

I'm dead on my feet.

Too tired to chat.

So please, let's go to bed.

Say, honey--

I'm trying to sleep.

You know what?

I'm sure it'll keep.

The price of a
turkey's inflated.

You're making me weep.

Everything's almost twice.
I know.

They've just doubled the price.

I know.

Go to sleep.
But my dear!

Go to sleep.
My dear.

Go to sleep.

Oh, darling.

I need all my rest.

Please listen.

I'm doing my best.

I just love the way
Debby's singing.

We sure have been blessed.

She's sincere can be.

I know.

Get's her talent from me.

Uh-oh.
Go to sleep.

But my dear.
Go to sleep.

Oh, come on, honey.

Go to sleep.

Do you still feel
the old attraction.

Hmm.

A fraction.

Huh.

You don't say.

Well, it still seems
odd to woo a grandma.

But you're a grandpa.

Touche.

Dear Patrick.

You're formal, my dear.

I love you.

I'll stand up and cheer.

We really have cause
for Thanksgiving.

Each day of the year.

I'm so glad I'm your wife.

I know.

Because you light up my life.

I know.
Go to sleep.

My dear.
Go to sleep.

Come on, Pat.
Go to sleep.

It's suddenly late.

Just look at the clock.

The hour hand is
starting to creep.

Chatting can wait.

We're both close to shock.

I guess we should go to sleep.

Hey, Shirley.

I'm drifting away.

You know what?

It's been a long day.

I'm suddenly feeling romantic.

I'll see you in there.

You can't treat me like this.

I know.

All I want is a kiss.

I know.

Go to sleep, honey.
What?

Go to sleep.
But my dear.

Sleep.

Hey, sweetheart.

I'm starting to nod.

I love you.

Now isn't that odd.

I thank all the
stars that I met you.

My own thanks to god.

You're the one I adore.

I know.

More than Zsa Zsa Gabor.
I know.

Go to sleep, honey.
Huh?

Go to sleep.

But honey.

Go to sleep.

Hey, I heard about
a new milk diet.

Well, do try it.

Me try it.

Oh, not that.

But dear, your suits
are all divulging.

My suits?

You're bulging.

Oh, no, not that.

Pat.

Hey, Shirley.

It's too much to take.

I love you.

Then give me a break.

I'm so glad it's
you that I married.

OK.
I'm awake.

You can go back to sleep.

Oh, no.
Nah, you were right.

It can keep.
Oh no.

Go to sleep.
But my dear.

Go to sleep.

Come on, Pat.

Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Go to sleep.

Go to [snore] sleep.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Did you get little Ryan's
birthday present yet?

- Just about to wrap it.
You get yours yet?

- Yeah.
Want to see?

- Sure.

It happens every time.

I said we should go
shopping together.

But, no, you wanted to go alone.

- I remember the last time
we went shopping together

for a present for
daddy and ended up

fighting over the same thing.
- You still won.

You got to get him the
Bee Gee's album, not me.

- Laury, I told you that you
can borrow it anytime you want,

just ask me.

- Hey, it's almost time.

You guys got your
gifts wrapped yet?

- We're getting there.

- Well, what did
you get him anyway?

- We chipped in and got
him a set of basketballs.

- Basketballs come in sets?

I only got him one.

[music - boone sisters]
[SINGING] Family tree,

the family tree, daddy says that
there have the famous Boones

down through history.

If daddy says it,
there is no doubt.

So stick around a while, we
know you're bound to find out.

It's plain to see we all agree.

There were very many famous
Boones in our family tree.

If daddy tells us about some guy
who was a famous captain, well,

our daddy don't lie.

- Captain John Smith Boone.

- Let us all toast this
first winter's harvest

with a hearty thanksgiving.

To Thanksgiving.

Oh, yes, farkleberry wine.

- Remember that boat
we came here on?

- Oh, yes.

The Mayflower.

- That's the one.

- Whatever became of it?

- I sold it to the
Puritans as a theme park.

'Tis right next to Six
Witches Over Salem.

- Thank goodness
for that old boat.

It got us out of Holland.

- Yes, Holland was pretty rough.

I didn't think we'd ever
escape our Dutch masters.

- Yes, they came
close, but no cigar.

And now my children,
enough jocularity.

We have a special
treat for thee.

As a token of our goodwill
toward our neighbors,

to wit we have invited
Chief Eagle Beak

to address us on this occasion.

Chief?

- How.

Hi.

This is Chief Eagle Beak.

Keep your hands off my land.

I'm still waiting for the
second payment for New York.

Happy and wonderful that
you're here, right here in--

Plymouth, Mass.

I'd give you the zip code
but it's on my other coat.

How about these pilgrims, huh?

You know we have an old
saying: :Give a pilgrim an inch

and he'll make Rhode Island."

I don't know what that
means yet but it's

on Roger William's next album.

I had a terrible week.

Changed tribes three
times this week.

Went from Navajo to
Arapaho to Texaco.

And I want to congratulate
the captain who landed

his boat on Plymouth Rock.

I know what to get him for
Christmas: a pair of glasses.

Thank you, pilgrims.

Well, I got to go now.

It's my wife's bowling night I
have to babysit with a papoose.

And if you need any more
corn, I'll be in my wigwam.

Just look for the sign that
says, "Chief Eagle Beak, Used

Corn Dealer."

[SINGING] The family
tree, the family tree.

Daddy says that there
have been famous Boones

down through history.

If daddy says it,
then daddy's right.

So join us because we're
going to the movies tonight.

Rudolph Boonentino.
[yawning]

[piano music]

[SINGING] The family
tree, the family tree.

Daddy says that there
have famous Boones down

through history.

If daddy says it,
then it's a fact.

So take a trip with us
to catch his magic act.

- Harry Boondini.

- But please, Mr. Feynman,
I swear we've-- we've worked

on some new tricks
and they're terrific.

- Really.

- Can't get a worse
magician in the world.

And if it wasn't for your
rabbits, you'd starve to death.

- Mr. Feynman, we came
all the way from New York.

You promised us a job.
- Yeah.

- All right.

I'll tell you what.

If the elephant gets
sick, you're hired.

OK?

- Mr. Feynman,
the elephant d*ed.

- Not sick enough.

- But Mr. Feynman, we got
this sensational new trick.

Boondini saws me in half.

- What?

Impossible.

- But-- but darling, we
haven't perfected that one yet.

- Oh, I trust you, honey.

You can do it.

- Boondini, if you
pull this one off,

you're going to make
a million bucks.

- Well, we'll try, sir.

- Then I'd better give
you a proper introduction.

All right.

Let's hear it for Goldberg
and his Flying Knives.

Ladies and gentlemen, I got
some bad news and some bad news.

The elephant is dead.

But Boondini isn't.

So it gives me an awful bunch of
indigestion to introduce to you

Harry Boondini.

[boos]

- For my final trick--

[cheers]

--curtain.

Ah.

I will attempt to saw my
lovely assistant in half.

The saw, please.

Please pray, dear.

- Yeah.

- You're the most
beautiful girl I ever saw.

- Tell the ambulance not to
leave with the elephant yet.

- Are you all right?

Here we are.

And now, we'll just--

just remove this
and pull that apart.

[applause]

- He did it!

He actually did it!

The guy did it!

- Sweetheart, we did it.

- Thanks to your faith
in me, dear, we're

going to make millions!

Millions!

Let's go celebrate.

[SINGING] It's plain
to see we all agree.

There were many cuckoo gooney
Boones in our family tree.

We hope you dug it
and had some fun.

And if you did, we hope
you'll be here next time

when we check our tree
here because daddy says

his family includes everyone.

You know, I said I
was a family man,

and this is a very special
night for our family.

You're going to meet
five generations of us--

Shirley's grandmother, my
mom and dad from Nashville,

the Mrs. and me, our
four lovely daughters,

Cherry's husband Dan, and of
course Lindy's little Ryan

and Jessica.

They're making our house
a home this Thanksgiving.

[MUSIC - BOONE FAMILY, "BLESS
THIS HOUSE"] [SINGING] Bless

this house, O Lord, we pray.

Make it safe by night and day.

Bless these walls
so firm and stout.

Keeping want and trouble out.

[MUSIC - BOONE FAMILY, "LOVE IN
A HOME"] [SINGING] You can tell

when you open the door.

You can tell when
there's love in a home.

Every table and
chair seems to smile.

Do come in, come
and stay for awhile.

You are almost feel you've
been there once before.

By the shine and the
glow of the room.

And the clock seems to
chime come again any time.

You'll be welcome
whereever you roam.

You can tell when
there's love in the home.

Good night, sweet child,
when there is love in a home.

- Time to carve the turkey.

- Yes, it is.

Now, let me see.

Dr. Carver at your service.

Well, that's our show
for this evening, folks.

I hope we made it as special
for you as you have for us.

Honey, you've done it again.

It's a great turkey.

We want to thank our guests,
good neighbor, John Byner;

the quiet, sophisticated
Hudson Brothers;

and of course our special
guest and good friend Bob Hope.

Now, before we leave,
I'd like to say

that there's
something we feel real

strongly about at
the Boone house

and that's love and togetherness
of family and friends.

That's really what
we're all about.

And we thank you for letting
us share that with you tonight.

So, good night, everybody,
and Happy Thanksgiving.

NARRATOR: "Pat Boone and
Family: A Thanksgiving Special."

Brought to you by
Metropolitan, where

you'll find insurance
that's right for you.

So come to Metropolitan.

Simplify your life.

- Delicious.

d*ck TOEFL: This is
d*ck Toefl speaking.

- Want some turkey, Laury?

- Yes, oh, thank you.

[chatter]

- Do we need more
turkey down there?

[chatter]
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