07x12 - Playdate of Doom/Teacher's Pet

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Ominous music]

♪

- Time to deal

With the most dangerous, evil, and vile prisoner

Here at abracatraz.

- Hello, claus.

I mean, jorgen.

That better not be more strained beets.

I asked for the pureed surf and turf.

- You will eat the beets and like them!

- Yes, jorgen.

I will eat the beets and like them.

See how agreeable I am?

Why don't you call wanda and cosmo

To schedule a playdate with my nemesis--

Dah, I mean, that delightful rapscallion poof.

I think I'm completely rehabilitated.

[Laughs]

Bang!

- Ha! You, foop?

Completely rehabilitated

And ready for a playdate with poof?

Fat chance.

Cosmo, wanda, and I will never allow you near poof again.

Now, here's that huge block of ice you asked for

For no apparent reason.

- Thank you, um...

Who are you, again?

Just to be clear.

- I am jorgen von strangle.

Don't be a dummy.

- No, jorgen,

It is you who are the dummy.

You've played right into my hand,

Or should I say...

Dipey?

Smuggling in baby's first evil recorder

Was a genius idea.

I'm so amazing, sometimes I scare myself.

Oh! There I am!

Now, to edit this on baby's first evil laptop

And use jorgen's own words against him.

[Warped high-pitch speech]

[Electronic beep]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello?

- [Jorgen's voice] cosmo and wanda,

I am jorgen von strangle!

Foop is completely rehabilitated

And ready for a playdate with poof.

- Really, jorgen?

Do you think that's a good idea?

- Don't be a dummy!

- Hey, there's no reason to take that tone with--

- You will eat the beets and like them!

- What?

[Rapid clicking]

- The fool.

She suspects nothing.

That was so easy,

It was like taking candy from myself.

[Laughs maniacally]

- Toot-toot!

Here comes the veggie train.

- Arugh!

- That was jorgen.

He said we have to eat beets

And have foop over for a playdate.

[Together] what?

- We have to eat beets?

No!

- Foop, the evil anti-fairy who tried to destroy

Two magical realms and a fast food chain,

Is coming to play?

- Poof-poof! - Poof's right.

This is a bad idea.

- You said it, timmy.

Beets are the tubers of evil.

- Well, jorgen did say foop's rehabilitated.

And every baby deserves a second chance.

- They can't all be as good as you, poof.

Look, you ate all your vegetables.

That means you get another gold star

On your good baby chart.

- Dah! Beets!

Curse you, tubers of evil!

- There, it's square like me and cold like my heart.

Jorgen will never even know I'm gone.

Foop, you're such a genius.

I am, aren't i?

Yes, quite.

Perhaps I've been in here alone too long.

Thank goodness for diapers with hidden compartments.

They may not stop leaks,

But they made my escape so easy,

As will this!

Baby's first evil tunneling tool!

[Laughing maniacally]

[Thunderous rumbling]

[Laughing crazily]

[Drill noise]

Time for a playdate with poof,

A playdate...

Of doom!

[Laughs maniacally]

[Cracking thunder]

Huck-kuck-uck.

Hiccups. Hick-hick-hick-uh!

[Laughs]

- Great job.

- Guys.

- I wasn't pouring my beets into a plant.

Poof!

- What if jorgen's wrong

And foop hasn't changed?

What if he's coming to destroy poof again?

- Now, timmy, you have to trust jorgen.

He's on top of everything.

- [Snoring]

[Loud beep]

[Metal clank]

[Together] we're free!

[All cheering]

- Yeah, just in case,

I wish for a super cool disguise

So I can spy on foop when he gets here.

- You got it.

- A cleaning lady?

I was thinking ninja.

- That's funny; so was i.

We'll call you mrs. Sparklebottom.

[Knocking] - oh, timmy?

Poof!

Ooh, an ugly little cleaning lady.

I bet timmy's dad hired you so I could go to the spa.

You can go up in the attic

And deal with that vicious hornets' nest.

- What? Wait!

Dah!

[Doorbell dings]

- Hello, auntie wanda and uncle idiot.

I mean, cosmo.

Thank you so much for allowing me to visit.

- Aw, thank you, foop.

We hope you're ready to be a good boy

For a change.

- Oh, I most certainly am, auntie wanda.

And this is for you, uncle.

- Beets?

Why does everyone hate me?

- And I even brought a gift for my new friend poof.

- [Growls]

- It's a special new portal to oblivion.

I mean, playpen!

- That's very kind of you, foop.

You boys can play in it and--

- No!

Don't put me in there!

[Ominous music]

I mean-- [clears throat]

I mean, I've been in solitary confinement for so long.

Heh-heh, yes.

Closed spaces make me crazy.

No, they don't! Yes, they do!

Oh, be quiet!

- Ohh-kay.

Uh, poof, why don't you give foop a hug, sweetie?

- Poof-poof!

- Oh, I'm afraid he just doesn't like me, auntie.

Weep-weep, crying sounds, weep-weep.

- Poof, foop is trying to be nice.

You have to learn how to forgive people

After they try and destroy you.

For making foop cry,

You lose a star on your good boy chart.

Poof!

- Egh.

[Creepy organ music]

[Whimpering]

- You're going down, you bulbous little brat.

- Aha!

I heard that with my hornet-stung,

Super swollen ear.

Foop is-- ah!

More hornets!

Ahhh!

- What an odd, ugly cleaning lady.

- I'm a ninja!

- You boys play while I give cosmo his lunch.

Here's your lunch, cosmo.

- Ah, you got to be kidding me.

- ♪ La da-da-ta

Poof, I fear I might have been vague earlier

When I said you're going down.

Allow me to clarify.

[Ominous music]

[Zapping noise]

The playpen contains an interdimensional vortex

That will transport you

To the outer reaches of the universe,

Forever!

Muwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Huck-hick-huck.

Hiccups. Hick-hick-hick.

- Aha!

I heard that.

Wanda, listen to this.

Foop was planning to--

- Oh, timmy?

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo, a ninja, great!

I need you to make a man named dinkleberg "go away."

- Yah!

- Poof-poof-poof!

- Don't be silly, poof.

Foop's not going to send you to an alternate universe.

Now, be good and have fun.

- Yes, poof.

Let's have fun.

Ding!

[Swoopy chimes]

[Wet splat noise]

Weep, weep.

Cry!

Sob.

- Oh, what happened?

- Poof tried to harm me

With beets.

- I told you beets were dangerous.

- Poof, that was not nice.

You lose another star.

Poof!

- Yes, you're going in that playpen.

Your idiot parents are going to send you

To another dimension, and I'm going to watch.

Ready, friend?

Let's play!

[Crying]

[Buzzing noise]

[Splat]

[Crying]

- [Whistling]

[Loud zapping]

- Ugh! Agh!

Ooh!

- [Whistling a tune]

[Loud zapping]

- [Wailing]

Poof!

[Wailing]

Poof!

[Wailing]

Poof!

This I my favorite toy.

Mine too. I don't even know you anymore!

We think you'll find it's a real blast.

[Jangly happy music]

Blast!

Weep-weep.

More convincing crying.

- Poof, that's it.

I'm taking away your last gold star.

- Yeah, you get a time-out in the wonderful playpen

That makes beets disappear.

[Cracking thunder]

- Dah!

[Suspenseful music]

Poof-poof-poof-poof poof-poof-poof-poof-poof!

- Nonsense, poof.

The playpen is not

And interdimensional vortex of doom.

- Wanda, stop!

Stop, foop.

I know what you're up to.

- Boy, you are one annoying cleaning lady.

Blast!

- [Wailing]

- Ugh!

- Eeh-eh-eh-eeh-eh-eh!

Eh! Ugh!

- Oh, no.

The playpen really is a vortex of doom.

Poof was telling the truth.

- Good-bye, poof.

[Laughs maniacally]

- I told you...

I'm a ninja!

Yah!

- Oh!

Wah!

[Zapping noise]

[Wailing]

This is all your fault.

Really? I blame you.

Well, you would.

That's so like you.

I'll get you, poof!

Eventually!

- Poof, I'm so sorry I didn't believe you.

Can you forgive me?

- Poof-poof.

- All in a day's work for timmy sparklebottom,

Cleaning ninja.

And the best part is...

- No more beets?

- And we don't have to worry about foop anymore.

- You haven't seen the last of me, poof.

Or me either.

I know that; I'm right here.

I was talking to them.

Oh, pipe down!

You're the one who got us into this in the first place.

We'll be back.

Stop looking at me!

I hate beets!

So do i!

[Bell ringing]

- Take your time finishing your test, class.

Except you, turner!

You get ten seconds.

Ten, nine...

[Pencil screeching]

- Di-eeh!

[Pencil vibrating]

- Oh, no, my pencil broke.

- No problem, timmy.

We can finish your test for you.

- Cosmo, you can't take timmy's test.

That's cheating.

- Not if you don't know the answers.

Look, I made a scary clown with crab hands.

- Now you're gonna make him fail.

Besides, clowns have big shoes like this.

[Laughter]

- Time's up! Pencils down!

Well, turner,

Since your gravity-defying writing implements

Insists on disobeying me,

I'll lock them away in my drawer

Of open flames and mouse traps.

[Both shouting frantically][loud snaps]

- Looks like they broke him, wanda.

You people are monsters!

- A scary clown with crab hands?

Turner!

Why can't you be more like a.j. Here?

He never draws pictures,

And his pencils don't float.

He's my bestest student.

- That's "best student," mr. Crocker.

- See how smart he is?

Don't cross me in public again.

- I cloned you an apple.

[Zapping noise]

[Fanfare]

- See? He's amazing!

Watch this.

A.j., Build me a time machine

Out of paper clips and yarn.

[Dials trilling] [zapping noise]

- A.j., Build me a time machine

Out of paper clips and yarn.

It worked!

A.j., Take the rest of the school year off.

- Whoo-hoo!

[Zapping noise]

- I'm you from the future.

Whatever you do,

Don't clone an apple!

- It's too late.

- Aagh!

- Aagh!

Wah!

- See ya next year, a.j.

Stay cool.

- Man, a.j.'S so lucky.

He gets the rest of the year off.

I wish I were the teacher's pet.

- [Laughs]

Poof!

- Whoa, I'm a guinea pig.

Poof, I didn't mean an actual pet.

I-- [bell ringing]

[Kids cheering]

- A cute little guinea pig.

A.j. Must have made you out of paper clips and yarn.

Oh, I'm gonna take you home and pet you

And feed you yummy treats...

- Maybe this isn't so bad.

- And then subject you to diabolical experiments!

- [Teeth chattering]

- To the crocker cave!

[Heavy bang]

Whoops, wrong lever.

That's the "f" mallet.

[Descending whistle]

Boing!

Welcome to the crocker cave,

My doomed little friend.

I'm going to use the dna of these lab animals

To genetically transform myself

Into the perfect fairy-hunting creature.

I'll have the nose of a bloodhound

To sniff out fairies!

The wings of a bumblebee to swoop down on...

Fairies!

The armor of an armadillo

To shield me from the magic of...

Fairies!

The cheek pouches of a chipmunk to hold my captured...

Fairies!

And the fluffy hair of a persian cat.

The hair won't help me catch-- fairies!

But it'll make me a real chick magnet.

But before I subject myself

To a potentially deadly experiment,

I'll need to test it out on a guinea pig.

That's where you come in.

Now to hook you up to my machine,

Which will suck the dna from all these animals.

I named it "mother,"

After the person who sucked the life out of me.

- Wait, you can't do this.

- Oh, well, what do you know?

A guinea pig that sounds like timmy turner.

Now I'm going to enjoy this even more.

Blast!

- Cosmo, the coast is clear.

- Not only that,

But everyone's gone.

- Poof, where's timmy?

- Poof-poof!

[Gibberish talk]

- Oh, no, he says canada's being att*cked

By space oysters.

- Cosmo, he said he turned timmy into a guinea pig

And mr. Crocker took him to his lab.

- Canada, you're on your own.

We have to save timmy right away.

Hey, look, a time machine.

What's this button do?

[Zapping noise]

What's this button do?

[Zapping noise]

[Ominous music]

- Hopefully, my experiment will work on you.

Earlier I hooked mother up to mother,

But she got a little too much bloodhound.

- [Tortured howling]

- That's one freaky bloodhound.

- [Teeth chattering]

[Suspenseful music]

[Loud beep]

[Intense zapping noises]

- You lived! My turn!

[Intense zapping noises]

[Intense zapping noises]

- [Coughing]

[Gasps]

- It worked!

I'm a persian bubble chip-a-dillo hound.

Oh, I hope the pet store sells food for this.

Now to rocket into action!

[Wings buzzing]

Deh! Dugh!

Note to self:

Next time go with eagle wings.

- Cosmo, wanda!

Help!

[Zapping noise]

- What's this button do?

[Zapping noise]

What's this button do?

Ah-ah!

- Cosmo, we have to rescue timmy.

Poof!

- Guys, mr. Crocker turned himself

Into a fairy-catching monster.

He's gonna capture every fairy in town.

- Put a sock in it, guinea pig.

We're looking for timmy.

- Cosmo, that guinea pig [span] is[/span]timmy.

[Light chimes]

- We have to find mr. Crocker before it's too late.

You know where all the fairies in town live, right?

- Well, sure, we've got their addresses

In our fairy berries.

The closest fairy is juandissimo.

We've got to get to remi buxoplenty's house.

[Rousing bugle music]

- This is totally awesome.

I can fly!

Dah! Dueey!

Well, kind of.

I have super stretchy chipmunk cheeks

And a full head of cat hair.

For the first time in my life,

I don't feel like a freak.

[Sniffing]

Hello.

My keen bloodhound nose detects a nearby...

Fairy!

[Wings buzzing]

- I so enjoy looking at myself in the mirror.

It turns juandissimo into...

Two dissimos.

- You're mine, muscle-boy.

Now to stuff you in my chipmunk cheeks.

Harugh!

- [Span]ay caramba.[/Span]

I see this persian bumble chip-a-dillo hound

Is a stranger to mouthwash.

- Success.

Ha, now to swoop off and catch another...

Fairy!

[Wings buzzing]

[Loud thuds]

Curse you, stupid tiny bee wings!

- We're too late.

We have to warn the other fairies.

- Let's split up.

I'll take timmy, wanda, poof, and cosmo.

- Good plan, let's go.

[Up-tempo swing music]

- Ah-ha!

[Toilet flushes]

- Hey-hey!

- [Screams]

- [Laughing]

Blast!

[Laughing crazily]

- There he is, guys.

I wish mr. Crocker was back to normal.

[Loud zapping noise]

[All shouting]

- Timmy, by any chance is mr. Crocker

Part armadillo?

- Oh, come on.

Don't tell me armadillo armor

Really does shield him from fairy magic.

- Okay, we won't tell you.

[Whistling]

- And now for phase two of my plan,

I'm going to hook you-- fairies!

Up to my dna machine.

- Oh, no.

Mr. Crocker's gonna drain the fairies

Of their magic.

- We have to stop him,

Or he'll become a totally invincible super fairy.

- Our only chance is to b*at mr. Crocker back to his lab.

We have to distract him and buy some time.

- Well, he's part bloodhound, right?

So I'll just poof into something no dog can resist.

Poof!

- The fire hydrant!

Oh, I can't resist. Yay!

- Uh-oh, maybe I should have gone with a chew toy.

Yah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

- Time to do a little rewiring.

[Zapping noises]

- Well, the good news is, I bought us some time.

The bad news is too horrible to talk about.

[Muffled whimpering]

- [Laughing crazily]

- He's coming! Hide!

- And now to drain your...

Fairy dna!

And transform myself into the king of all...

Fairies!

Hmm, not quite as ominous-sounding

As I had hoped.

How about...

The biggest fairy ever!

No, that's worse.

Whatever.

- Oh, thank goodness we are out.

It was like a port-a-potty with teeth in there.

- Say good-bye to your dna, fairies!

Ah!

Turner, what are you doing here?

- I'm turning you back to normal, mr. Crocker.

[Zapping and animal noises]

- Ah! I'm a crockeroach.

[Lever trilling]

Blast!

Dah! I'm a crockeroo!

Blast!

- Ah! I'm a peacrocker!

Ooh, actually, I kind of like this look.

[Lever trilling]

Blast!

- I did it!

You're back to being plain old creepy mr. Crocker.

And now I'm gonna cut the fairies loose,

And your lab animals too.

[Buzzing sound]

[Sirens wailing]

- Fairies, animals, get him!

Just stay away from the diaper bin

That is his mouth.

[Heavy rumbling]

- [Gargling]

- [Roaring]

[Clattering and animal sounds]

- You made an enemy of me today, turner.

[Screaming]

And I'll have my revenge!

But first I'm gonna pass out.

Hugh-ugh, mother.

- Timmy, your plan worked.

Now all we need to do is find these animals a good home.

- Leave that to me.

- Wow!

Watching the animal channel

On this high-definition tv is amazing.

- Yeah, I know.

It's almost like I could reach out

And poke this kangaroo.

Oof!

So realistic.