07x17 - Take and Fake/Cosmo Rules

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

- Good morning, sport.

Uh, why are you sleeping by the mailbox?

- Because the fire hydrant snores!

[Sniffs]

No doggie, no, not now.

Shoo! [Dog barks]

- Tonight is trixie tang's annual costume party.

I'm just waiting for the mailman to bring my invitation.

- You mean you haven't gotten yours yet?

We got ours.

- Wait, you guys got invited to trixie's party?

She doesn't even know you exist.

- We could say the same thing about you.

- Don't worry, timmy.

I'm sure your invitation is coming.

- It better.

Trixie's parties are always awesome,

So I hear.

And the winner of the costume contest

Gets trixie's attention and bragging rights

For a whole year.

[Horn honks]

Ooh, here comes the mailman now.

- Sorry, kid.

I'm just the milkman.

- Aw. - Fooled you!

I'm actually the mailman in my milkman costume

For trixie's big party tonight.

But I still don't have an invitation for you.

- Can I at least have the milk?

- Actually, I'm not going to the party.

I just like dressing up as milk.

[Both laugh]

- Don't worry, timmy.

I bet trixie didn't invite a lot of people to her party.

[Knock on door] - oh, timmy!

Like everyone else in town,

We got invited to trixie's costume party.

I'm going as a beautiful woman.

- So am i!

[Both laugh]

- I can't believe even my parents are going.

Why wasn't I invited?

- I don't know, timmy.

You're a great guy.

Check out this chart of your awesome attributes.

- It's blank.

- Yeah, that could be the problem.

- Hey, wait!

I don't need an invitation.

You guys can just poof me up the coolest costume

So I can sneak in, win the contest,

And get trixie to finally notice me.

- Sorry, sport.

You know our magic can't help you win a contest.

But don't let that get you down in the dumps.

- Down in the dumps?

That's a great idea!

I may not be able to use fairy magic,

But that doesn't mean I can't use yugopotamian technology.

You got invited to trixie's party?

- Duh.

And my new port-able -gig ifake

Will help me choose the costume that is most appro-priate

For tonight's swee-oiree.

[Warbling]

[Elephant bellows]

[Warbling]

Plus, it stores all my tuneage.

Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ah!

- You know, mark, this party's the perfect opportunity

For you to ditch the ifake and go as yourself.

I mean, your yugopotamian form will be the perfect costume.

- Mark chang in the buff,

In the raw,

[Span]au natural?[/Span]

Brah, that is genius!

You're welcome to hang out here while I'm at the party.

Just messed the place up when you leave.

Laters!

- Oh, I'm not hanging out here.

It's time for my costume,

One where I'm the perfect guy for trixie.

Awesome! I'm a prince.

Time to party like it's .

[Whistles]

Look out, trixie.

Here comes rex perfection.

[Horse whinnies]

- I love costume parties.

It's the one time we can go out as ourselves

Without anyone we're really--

- Fairies!

Seriously, nice fairy costumes.

But I can totally see the wires making you float.

And those wings don't look very real either.

How?

Did you have these surgically implanted?

Now, that's commitment.

- This should be a great evening.

- No timmy and free shrimp?

It'll be awesome!

- Hey, that's a great costume.

You look just like a bratty, stuck-up, snotty,

Little rich girl.

- No! - No!

- I haven't tried the shrimp yet!

Splash!

- Great. Now my fountain costume's wet.

- Thanks for coming, everyone.

Now, have fun while I mingle politely

And criticize everyone's costumes.

Lame, boring, boring,

Lame.

So last year.

Come on, people.

Where's the costume that's going to wow me?

All: oh.

- Ah.

- Wow!

As we snooty rich girls say, he's new-boyfriend handsome.

- Greetings, fair maiden.

My name's rex perfection,

But you can call me rex perfection.

- My, you're so perfect.

I'd like to hold your perfect hand

While you lead me to the dance floor,

Rex perfection.

- This is awesome!

I'm at the party,

There's free shrimp,

And I'm holding hands with trixie.

Nothing's gonna ruin this night.

[Warbling]

[Ifake beeps]

- Rex, your hand is so...

Hairy?

[Screams]

Back off, costumed monkey boy!

I'm with rex perfection.

Where are you, rex?

- Whoa, what happened?

I think the ifake is broken.

I'd better find mark.

- So shrimpy, so free.

- So out of here.

- Eh!

[Warbling]

- So, fake fairies,

I bet you think your costumes are so great.

Well, check this out.

My wand can do magic?

[Horn blows]

- Ooh.

Wow, that's really cool.

- Yeah, all our wands can do is this.

Thud!

- Oh, gah!

Who comes dressed as a pile of mousetraps?

Seriously!

- There's mark.

Mark, I need your help.

- As they say in my business,

That kid's weatherman handsome.

- There you are, rex perfection.

Why don't we go out on the balcony

So I can get to know you better

And stare at your beauty in the flattering light

Of my beauty?

- [Sneering]

- [Screams]

Help me, rex perfection!

[Screams]

- Trixie, wait!

Come back!

Mark chang!

Not mark chang.

- I can smell the shrimp and the freeness from here.

Eeh, that can't be good.

Eh!

- Ah, living the dream.

- Hello again, fake fairies.

Ready for round two?

Beware my magical fairy lightning bolts!

Magically painful, aren't they?

- Ooh, I think I can top that.

- Eeh!

Boy, that kid's perfect.

As we say in my business,

He's gym-teacher handsome.

- I need mark to fix this ifake before I blow my chance with...

Trixie!

- Rex, there you are!

Dance with me.

- Oh, I'm not a good dancer...

But rex perfection is.

- [Breathing heavily]

Eeh!

- Being rex is awesome!

[Ifake beeps]

[Warbling]

Eh...

[Chainsaw whirring]

[Ifake beeps]

- Oh, rex, I never felt more safe than when I'm with you.

Don't tell anyone,

But I'm picking you as the winner of the contest.

Now kiss me!

[Ifake beeps]

Muah!

Ew!

Get away, ugly loser.

Your mr. Crocker hideous.

- I heard that!

Eeh!

- Okay, everyone, it's time to announce

The winner of the costume contest.

- And then I said,

"The aristocrats!"

[All laughing]

Uh!

Awesome costume-ay, dude.

As we say on my plan-et, you're mark chang handsome.

Wait a minute.

- Mark, it's me, timmy.

I, uh, borrowed your ifake so I could come to the party

As the perfect guy for trixie.

- And the winner of the costume contest

Is rex perfection.

[All cheering]

- Where are you, rex perfection?

- And it worked.

Mark, you got to help turn me back.

- And leave my harem?

Are you nuts?

Perhaps I could spare a moment or two.

Totally bogus, brah.

You stole my ifake?

- I believe I used the term "borrowed."

I'm sorry, but there's something wrong with it.

- Is rex here?

Come on, rex, my lips are waiting.

- Mark, her lips are waiting!

- Duh.

You have it set on shuffle.

- No, wait!

[Warbling]

[All cheering]

[All booing]

[All cheering]

[All booing]

- Timmy? - Timmy?

[All booing]

- Eep, they're throwing shrimp, timmy.

Hide in my mouth!

- I don't understand.

Where is rex perfection?

Both: where are you, rex perfection?

- You okay, sport?

- I was having such a great night as rex perfection.

Now that I'm back to being me,

Trixie will never talk to me again.

- There you are, timmy turner.

- Trixie, you're actually talking to me?

I'm sorry I crashed your party.

- What are you talking about?

I sent you an invitation.

- No, you didn't.

You sent one to us.

- Cosmo, that's not addressed to us.

It's addressed to timmy.

You made a mistake.

- I think the real mistake

Was asking the guy who can't read to get the mail.

- So you really wanted me at your party?

- Of course I did.

You're dreamy.

Now pucker up, lover boy!

- Uh, guys, a little help?

- Ah! I don't care what my therapist says!

I'll always love you, timmy turner!

Crash!

- Wow, those fairy costumes are amazing.

You three win first prize.

Both: yay!

- Look, it's full of shrimp.

- No! - No!

- Trixie, any chance you really are happy I came to your party?

Ah!

I don't care what my therapist says.

I will always love you, trixie tang!

- Hi, timmy.

- No!

- Shrimp!

[expl*si*n]

- Am I awesome or what?

Another successful morning of enforcing the rules

And preventing fairy god kids from all over the world

From wishing up total chaos.

Most fairies would cr*ck under this kind of pressure,

But not me.

Then again, I am talking to a can of fizzy juice.

[Gulping]

Ah. [Hiccups]

Oh, no!

The fizzy juice has given me the trick-ups,

Which are bouts of hiccups accompanied by bouts

Of cheesy--[hiccups] parlor magic.

Perhaps a glass of water will cure me.

[Hiccups]

Not water!

Ah!

[Hiccups]

I cannot enforce the rules with the trick-ups.

And only another von strangle can replace me.

The universe is in grave peril, unless...

Conveniently placed family locating lever,

Take me to the nearest von strangle.

- Ah!

- Ah!

Both: ah!

- Ah!

Wanda, it's your turn.

Scream.

- Jorgen.

What are you doing here?

- I don't know.

Quick, get my nana boom-boom on the videophone.

Nana boom-boom, I need your help.

- Jorgen, I told you never to interrupt me

When I am playing exploding bingo.

Bingo!

[expl*si*n]

- Wow.

That's some freaky bingo.

- Nana, please, can't you see I need a replacement...

[Hiccups]

To enforce the rules until I am better?

- Did you use your conveniently placed family locator lever?

- Yes, but for some reason,

It brought me to timmy turner's house.

It must be broken.

- No, it is not.

But soon, your heart will be.

Brace yourself, jorgen,

Because the only available von strangle

Is in that room with you.

- Oh, please let it be my invisible cousin leonard.

- No, he is in the bahamas.

But say hello to your other,

More deep, dark family secretish cousin,

Cosmo!

[expl*si*n]

- Cousins? - Cousins?

- No! - No!

Way.

This is the most awesomest day of my life.

- Oh, I just had the most horrible dream

That cosmo was my cousin and I had the trick-ups.

[Hiccups]

- It was a dream,

A dream come true.

Now that we're cousins,

We can do all sorts of everything together.

We'll go camping,

Do a little antiquing,

Braid each other's hair.

- This cannot be possible.

I need to check out the von strangle family tree.

[Low rumbling]

- Look, there I am,

On that broken, withered branch

At the very bottom.

- Oh, as much as it horrifies me to say this,

Until I am better, you are in charge of the rules.

All you have to do

Is enforce exactly what is written in this book.

- Ooh.

- Here, take my wand.

You will need all its magic to help you.

Eh.

Without my wand, I feel like half the man I used to be.

[Hiccups]

Great, now I really am half the man I used to be.

- Come on, jorgen.

Poof and I will take you home

And help you get rid of those trick-ups.

- Cosmo, the fate of the universe

Rests on your extremely wimpy and fragile shoulders.

- You can count on me, cuz.

- Do not call me that!

- Okay, cuz.

- Ah!

- Cosmo, this is awesome.

Without jorgen enforcing the rules,

We can do whatever we want.

- Oh, no, timmy.

I'm a super important von strangle now.

And it's up to me to enforce what's written in this book.

[expl*si*n]

And there's nothing you can do to distract me.

- Cookie?

- My life is complete!

- Jorgen said whatever's in the book is a rule, so...

- [Gnawing]

We von strangles are excellent hunters of baked goods.

Uh!

- You know what else you von strangles are good at?

- Granting wishes.

So can you poof me up a zillion dollars, please?

- Ah, no can do, timmy.

Rule : wishing for money is forbidden.

- Even for me?

You better check.

Page one at the top, in green crayon.

- Timmy turner doesn't have to follow any of the rules.

- I don't?

Well, what do you know?

I guess I'll take that zillion bucks now.

You know what else would be great?

Winning american kid gladiators.

Oh, and having trixie tang fall madly in love with me.

Come on, chop, chop, cosmo von strangle.

Enforce those rules!

- Well, usually winning a contest and finding true love

Are against the rules,

But you can't argue with official-looking green crayon.

[Grunting]

- Yes!

[Cheers and applause]

- [Grunting]

- And newcomer timmy turner has won the championship.

- I love you, timmy turner.

[Toilet flushes]

- On the bright side,

I don't have to get up to use the bathroom.

[Hiccups]

- [Giggles]

- I got it!

[Span]doctor rip studwell's [span] ways to cure the trick-ups.[/Span][/span]

Number one, drink as much water as you can as fast as you can.

- [Giggles]

- Well, did it work?

- [Hiccups]

At least it wasn't a swordfish.

[Hiccups]

Ah! Swordfish!

[Cheers and applause]

[All cheering]

- I'd like to solve the puzzle.

Timmy turner rocks!

Well, yes, I do.

♪ Yes, I do

[Cheers and applause]

Today is so totally awesome.

Cosmo, I wish all fairy god kids had a rule-free day like me.

- Sorry, timmy,

Not every god kid is above the rules like you.

And I'm gonna use every ounce of my razor-sharp focus

To keep it that way.

- Fondue?

- Yay!

- No god kid has to follow any of these rules.

There, let the rule-free wishing begin.

- This is chet ubetcha with breaking news.

Kids have gone crazy around the world.

It's raining susan b. Anthony dollars

On little susan c. Anthony's house.

Skinny, little irving schaub

Has just won the world's strongest man competition.

- Yay, my wish came true.

- And junior miss universe has fallen head-over-heels in love

With this kid.

As if by magic, the world has been plunged

Into kid-related chaos.

- Chaos?

I like it.

Way less boring.

Uh-oh. That can't be good.

- [Screaming]

- Ah, cosmo, help!

- Relax, timmy.

You just have to show him who's boss.

Bad rules. Heel!

Ah!

Well, now we know who's boss.

- [Roars]

Did that scare your trick-ups away?

- [Hiccups]

- Hey, you didn't do a trick that time.

It's working.

- That is what you think.

The statue of liberty just disappeared.

[Horn blaring]

- Honey, the statue of liberty is in our living room again.

- Oh.

Well, at least cosmo must be doing okay.

After all, the universe hasn't fallen apart or anything.

[Alarm blaring]

- That is my "the universe is falling apart" siren.

Quick, poof us to turner's.

Cosmo, what have you done to the rules?

- Don't worry, cousin jorgen.

I've totally got this.

Ah!

You are a bigger moron than I thought,

Which is really saying something.

- First of all, I'm the same size moron I've always been.

Second of all, I don't know how this happened.

I didn't do anything wrong.

- Cosmo's right for once.

It's not his fault.

I used this green crayon to change the rules

So there were none.

Both: you did what?

- How dare you borrow my green crayon!

- Turner, because of you,

Kids everywhere are making wishes willy-nilly.

Every rule-free wish destabilizes the book further.

And here is the really bad part:

If the book explodes, so does the universe.

- I'm sorry.

How do we stop it?

- The unstable magic from the book

Must be contained by a von strangle.

And I am no condition to do it.

- But I am!

Stand back, cousin.

I'll handle this.

- Cosmo, no!

- I can't handle it.

Ah!

- You are not strong enough to do it alone.

Quick, grab my halves,

And we will attempt to absorb the magic together.

Eh!

[Both grunting]

- I'm slipping.

- You can do it, cosmo.

After all,

You're a...

- Say it. Say it.

- A von strangle.

- Yes! He called me a von strangle.

This is the best day ever!

[Grunting]

Now pull.

- [Grunting]

Wow.

That scared the trick-ups right out of me.

For a little guy, you're showing some big von strangle bravery.

- Say it. Say it.

- Don't push it, cousin.

- You said it.

Family hug.

- Cosmo, I'm so proud of you.

- Yeah! We saved the universe.

High-five, guys.

- Timmy turner,

Of all the irresponsible things you've ever done--

- Eh!

Wanda, I've got this one.

- E-.

All: bingo!

[expl*si*n]

- That is some freaky bingo.