08x04 - Invasion of the Dads

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky

♪ Always giving him commands

- Bed twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who'll grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

- Wands and wings. - Floaty crowny things.

- ♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ Really rod, pea pod buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice!

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries and chocolate shake!

- ♪ Odd parents, fairly odd parents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are a kid ♪

♪ With fairly odd parents

- Yeah, right!

- Honey, the toilet's broken!

- I'll fix it!

[Clattering]

- Aah!

Thank you!

- My desk is kinda wobbly.

- I'll fix it!

[Clattering]

- Aah!

Thank you!

Aw, man!

The tv's broken.

- Oh, whatever you do, don't tell your father.

- I'll fix it!

- Aah!

- I made the tv squirt water!

It's not supposed to do that. Is it?

- No... But on the bright side,

The toilet now gets channels!

- I'm a complete failure.

Yesterday, I tried to fix a pencil sharpener at work,

And they had to call in the coast guard!

- Come on, dad. You're exaggerating.

- Tell that to mitch from accounting.

He clung to a floating copier for four hours

Until they fished him out!

Oh...mitch!

- Oh, honey, don't be so hard on yourself.

What do you say we make some popcorn and watch the toilet?

- It's no use. I'm an incompetent boob!

I'm just gonna go stand in a garbage can in the alley

For the rest of my life!

Aah!

Oh, come on!

All I did was open the door!

- Come on, dad.

You can't just stand in a trash can

For the rest of your life.

- No, I know, son.

That's why I'm installing this comfy trash can bench.

Eee. I can't imagine they sell many of these.

- Dad, mom and I need you.

You're the glue that holds our family together.

- Well, it better be waterproof glue.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bench to install.

Let's see--"insert flange "a" into bench bracket "b."

- Aah!

- Oh, I don't deserve a bench!

Ironically, if I want to throw it out,

I have to leave it where it is.

My head hurts!

- Man, I really feel bad for my dad.

- You should feel bad for mitch from accounting.

[Humming]

He shriveled up like a prune

In the great pencil sharpener flood.

- I mean, I love the guy,

But he is kind of a disaster.

It's a good thing there's only one of him!

- Timmy, timmy, timmy.

Wait! I lost my train of thought.

- I think you were about to remind timmy

There isn't only one of his dad.

He wished up a whole planet of them--remember?

- No, that wasn't it. It was something about

The radioactive uranium I left in his closet.

- [Growling]

[Roaring]

- By the way, I think you have termites.

- Wait! Wanda's right.

I did wish for a planet of dads.

I wonder how they're all doing now.

[Cheerful music]

♪

- Eee...

- Morning, dad!

- Morning to you, too, dad.

Did you watch dancing with the dadslast night?

- Yeah. Who knew dad would make the finals?

- And now for sports.

The dads b*at the dads today

In a rousing game of dadball at dad stadium.

Looks like trading dad for dad really paid off!

Ooh! This just in.

President dad is about to address the planet.

We now go live to the dad house.

[Presidential-like music]

- My fellow dads,

Ever since we abolished the monkey wrench,

We've evolved into a nearly perfect civilization.

But as you know,

We're still missing something crucial in our lives.

As I gaze out the window at our great mom-uments

Or stare at my priceless mom-a-lisa,

Or eat a delicious mom-lette...

I still have no idea what that crucial missing piece is!

- Mr. President!

I've located the thing that's missing in our lives.

- Is it mom-hatten clam chowder?

'Cause I'm sick of eating mom-lettes.

- No, sir. It's a creature named mom

On a planet called earth.

- Ooh! Notify the space fleet.

We are going to earth to get this mom thing.

And to get me some milk to wash down these mom-aroons.

[Loud chewing]

Ggaaahhh!

- Monkey...wrench.

[Snoring] water rising.

Hang on, mitch!

- Whoa! What's going on?

- Well, wanda b*rned the bacon,

And I had a nightmare that I was smart

And people held me accountable for my actions!

Oh, and yeah.

There's a fleet of alien spaceships

Hovering over the house.

So what's going on with you?

- Alien spaceships!

Aah!

- Greetings, earthlings.

Oh, hi, timmy!

All: hi, timmy!

- Whoa! Those are the dads I wished up,

And they've evolved into an advanced civilization.

- Not that advanced.

Their leader's eating a taco upside down.

- Another empty taco?

Ha! What are the odds?

- Uh, hi, dads. What are you doing here?

- We've come for the creature you call mom.

- No. You have a perfect civilization.

Why would you want to add a woman to it?

I'm not smart, wanda. You can't hold me accountable.

- Wait. What did you say?

- Eh...my taco's empty?

- After that. - What are the odds?

- After that. What did you say about mom?

- Oh! Eh...we've come for her.

- What? I can't have my mom!

- [Chuckling] timmy, timmy, timmy.

Wait. I lost my train of thought.

Oh, right.

We're taking your mom whether you like it or not!

Our manly planet needs her.

- Well, so do i!

I don't know what I'd do without my mom.

- Timmy, do your homework!

[Electronic game sounds]

Timmy, do your chores!

Timmy, do your taxes!

- I'm ten!

Come to think of it,

I wouldn't have to do anything without my mom.

You can take her.

No, wait! You can't have her.

I love her, and I'd miss her.

- You're young. You'll get over it.

Commencing mom extraction...

- Guys, we can't let the dads take my mom.

- Ah! How about we give them someone else's mom?

I know, we'll give them wanda.

Then they'll be sorry.

And I won't have to do my taxes!

- Cosmo, that's a great idea. - Timmy!

- I'm not gonna give them you,wanda.

I have another mom in mind.

Mr. Crocker, how'd you like to send

Your mother on a little vacation?

- I'm here, turner!

Point me to the incinerator!

- Denzel, do I get my surprise now?

- Soon, mother. Soon.

- Not so fast. If I do this for you,

I want an "a".

- I'll give you a "c". - Deal!

Now just go up front

And lay your mom gently on the lawn.

- Ooh! Are we at the hotel?

- My mom's in the sack. Come and get her!

- Aah!

You get an "f", turner!

- Timmy, that wasn't your mom.

We're not even sure it was a woman.

We're taking your mom, and you can't stop us.

- Guys, we gotta protect my mom!

No telling what diabolical trap they'll set to take her away.

- Oh, my!

A trail of fluffy kittens leading to an ominous shadow.

That's not suspicious at all.

I'll call you snowball

And I'll call you snowball,

And since you're white and fluffy,

I'll call you bob.

- Where's cosmo?

- Hi, timmy!

- Aah! I wish my mom and cosmo

Were safe inside the house!

Whew!

- She just disappeared.

How is that possible?

- As you recall, your presidentness,

Timmy has fairies.

He used their magic to create us,

And now he's using their magic to keep mom to himself.

- We're handsome!

- Focus, mr. President.

I have a plan to drain the fairies' magic.

- Ooh! How are we gonna do that?

- We're not going to do that. Timmy is!

[Beep]

Whoops! Oh, my aim was really off there.

Luckily, I built two robots.

- Thanks for saving my mom, guys.

I better go keep an eye on her until that spaceship leaves.

Hi, guys. - Did you forget something,

Sport? - Yeah.

I forgot to make , wishes.

- Mom, what happened to you?

- Well...

Apparently, I'm allergic to kittens.

Ah-choo!

- And I wish for a pony and a racecar and a jukebox

And a ping-pong table and a rollercoaster and a skateboard--

- Mom, you can't leave the house--

The dads'll get you.

I mean, where are you going?

- To the store for cat food and antihistamines.

[Tires squealing]

- Mom, no!

- Bye, timmy. I'm off to the store.

[Dramatic music]

- Aah! Cosmo, wanda!

- And a gumball machine and a magnifying glass and a--

- Timmy, your room is totally full of wishes.

There's barely room for us, let alone wanda's giant ego.

- I don't have a giant ego!

- Really? Then how do you explain this coffee mug

That says, "wanda is awesome"?

We don't have room for this! [Crash]

- You wanna save room in here?

Then you be the magnifying glass.

- Sport...

I'm really hot.

- There it is, that giant ego again.

- You wanna cool off? I wish you were a block of ice.

- Timmy, you're squishing poof.

- Well, maybe it would help if you were smaller.

I wish poof was a bug.

- Okay, sport, enough's enough.

Wish us back to normal.

- Mission accomplished.

Your magic has been drained.

Initiating self-destruct.

[Rapid beeping]

- Oh, no, timmy exploded!

We are so fired!

- Guys, you gotta help me!

Aah! What's going on here?

- Not now, timmy.

We're too sad about timmy blowing up.

- Wait a minute! That wasn't the real timmy.

We've been tricked.

- Okay. I don't know what you're talking about,

But the dads got my mom!

You've gotta poof her off the ship!

[Call to post]

[Pfft] - oh, no!

We're out of magic!

- Aah! What am I gonna do?

- Things do not look good.

But that could be because I'm standing under a pony.

Easy, butterscotch!

- [Snoring] eh...look out, mitch.

Sharks...circling the copier!

- I've gotta save my mom!

How long before you guys get your magic back?

- Our wands have to recharge.

It'll take hours

While the magic downloads from fairy world.

- Oh, great.

How am I gonna get to the planet of the dads?

- If only you'd wished up a spaceship before you exploded.

Ooh, look! A giant quarter.

We're rich!

We can buy a spaceship now.

- A spaceship. That's it.

We can borrow mark chang's.

- Cosmo! You're making me melt.

- This is no time for romance, wanda.

Timmy's got a problem.

- Everyone hop on the pony. We're going to the dump!

- Don't say dump in front of butterscotch!

- ♪ Oh, vicky

♪ You are so icky

♪ You are so sicky

♪ And ticky

♪ Oh, vicky

♪ Oh, vicky

- Mark, I need your help.

- Yo, timmy! Like ditto!

Can you scrub my back with the bottom of your shoe?

- Not now, mark!

A bunch of alien dads stole my mom

And turned my floaty friends into a magnifying glass,

A block of ice, and a bug!

- Oh. Busy morning.

All I did was take out the cereal

And eat a bowl of trash.

[Belch]

- Don't you mean you took out the trash

And ate a bowl of cereal?

- Eew! That's gross!

Timmy, your block of ice is a sicko.

- You gotta fire up your ship, mark.

There's no telling what terrible things

Those dads are doing to my mom.

- Oh, up and away, dude!

- You know, you people remind me

Of a much less wet version of my husband.

- Allow me to explain.

We're taking you to our planet

To worship you as our queen!

- Ooh! That sounds nice.

I just have to get back by thursday.

I've gotta get my husband out of the trash can

Before the garbage men come.

- Okay. We need a way to distract the dads

So we can rescue my mom.

- Use this, dude.

It was a valentine pre-sent from my beloved vicky.

- Chocolate-covered cherry bombs.

Awesome! We'll set up an expl*si*n

And sneak off with my mom.

Hey, where's wanda?

- I put her in the freezer

To keep her from melting any worse.

Looking good, honey.

Holy cow, she's hideous!

- I heard that! - Not you, sweetie.

I was talking about...timmy.

Wow! The planet of the dads has three giant suns.

Yay, chocolate!

- All: mom! Mom! Mom!

Mom! Mom!

- This is the second nicest alien parade in my honor

I've ever been to.

- All: mom! Mom! Mom!

- Welcome to your palace, queen mom.

- It's very nice.

But it could use a woman's touch.

[All gasp]

- Yay! It's perfect.

The void in our lives has been filled.

Mom, we're all going to be so happy together.

We'll go to fancy restaurants,

Take long walks on the beach,

And you will make our friday night dances

Way less icky.

- Well, that sounds fun.

But i-i need to go home now.

- Home?

I'm sorry, but you can't leave.

This is your new home.

Forever. - Say what now?

- You see, in exactly one hour,

This giant wormhole is going to open.

Then we're going to fire a thruster

That will sh**t our planet inside.

We'll disappear into a distant galaxy

Where no one can ever take you away from us.

- You can't do that!

My family needs me.

And I need them.

Also, I didn't pack

For a trip through a wormhole.

[Shrieking] help!

- Oh, no! We've gotta do something.

Guys, are your wands recharged?

- Uh, mine's only at %, sport.

- Hold on. Let me check mine.

- [Shrieks] poof poof!

[Moans]

- Oops. Sorry, poof.

- Wait. We don't need magic.

Mark has a fake-a-fier.

Quick, mark.

Turn into something that'll stop the dads.

- No problemo, brah!

- That's your secret w*apon? Butter?

- Sha!

All the dads have to do is eat me,

And their cholesterol will go through the roof.

In a matter of months,

They'll be out of shape and easy to overpower.

- That won't work!

We need to stop them now.

That's more like it.

- All: eeh!

Look, it's timmy.

Hi, timmy!

- All right, dads.

Hand over my mom!

- Sorry, but you can't have your mom.

We went through a lot of trouble

And kittens to get her.

[Dramatic music]

- Aah! There are too many of them.

We don't stand a chance.

- I know.

I can turn myself into some lead paint.

If they lick me,

In, like, years...

- All: get timmy. Get timmy.

- Retreat!

- Up, up, and away again, dude!

- All: bye, timmy.

- Gotta think!

In less than an hour, my mom will be

sh*t into a wormhole and gone forever.

How soon till your wands have power?

- We're only at %, sport.

We won't have our magic back in time.

- The hideous melting ice blob

That used to be wanda is right.

You're on your own, timmy.

- How'd they get so advanced?

I mean, they're based on my dad,

And he's a walking disaster.

- It's true.

He destroys everything he touches.

The toilet, the tv, your childhood.

- Wait a minute. My dad!

He might be exactly what we need.

- Really?

'Cause I do have some dynamite.

- Oh, look. We're passing the suns again.

I should really stay away from the window.

- Aah!

Dad, what happened?

- I tried to make dinner for your mom

To apologize for flooding the house,

And I flooded the house!

[Sobbing]

- Get it together, dad!

Mom's been kidnapped by aliens,

And I need your help to save her.

- You're just trying to make me feel better.

Face it, son,

I destroy everything I touch.

- That's what I'm counting on.

- [Yells]

I'm spinning!

- Whoa.

This is gonna be harder than I thought.

Mark, we need a disguise.

- You got it, bro!

No.

No.

Whoops.

That's the "turn the ship

Into a chinese restaurant" button.

- I smell egg rolls.

Spinning again!

What a handsome planet.

Now the question is,

Where are they keeping your mother?

- Uh, in the mom-shaped building.

- Boy, those aliens are dumb.

Your real mother doesn't have a door in her chin.

How are we gonna get in?

The place is guarded by an army of male models.

- Here's the plan.

[Whispering]

[Trumpet fanfare]

- Hey, fellow intergalactic dad types.

I caught timmy!

- All: hi, timmy!

- Live long and propane.

- Wormhole launch in t-minus three minutes.

- Okay. I'm gonna rescue mom.

You stop them

From launching the planet into a wormhole.

- But how?

- Just take your wrench

And go fix that control panel.

- Yeah, I'm not sure I can do that, timmy.

For the love of pete, I flooded the house

Trying to make hot dogs!

- Help!

Get me out of here!

- That's your mother.

She screams that a lot in her sleep.

All right, timmy.

I'm going in.

[Struggling]

Hello, fellow alien dad types.

May the horse be with you.

- [Straining]

This is an outrage.

You have no idea how to treat a lady,

And your toilet gets terrible reception.

[Static]

- I'm gonna need some backup.

- All: hi, timmy!

- Uh-oh.

- Good news, sir.

We caught timmy trying to rescue his mom.

- Timmy! You've come to save me.

- Well, I tried.

Now it's up to dad to save us both.

- He's here?

You got him out of his trash can?

- No. You did, mom.

He came to rescue you.

- That's so sweet.

But I'm surprised the place isn't flooded.

- If my plan works, it will be.

- Eeh...uh-oh.

The doohickey next to this thingamabob

Is on the fritz.

But don't worry! I'll fix it.

- Not the monkey wrench! Stop him!

[Fighting]

- Wrench fix!

[Triumphant music]

♪

I did it!

I cleverly disguised myself as one of you

And thwarted your plan without being discovered.

I stopped the launch.

I'm not a loser anymore.

- Oh, I never thought you were a loser, honey.

- I'm gonna give you a big kiss,

Then take you home for some soaking wet hamburgers.

- [Gibberish]

- [Both gasp]

- At least I didn't have to watch them kiss.

- Nice rescue, dude.

Now, where did I park the ship?

[Beep] hey!

Found it.

- You did it, sport.

You saved your mom.

- Guys, your wands are recharged.

- Yeah, like minutes ago.

Didn't you get our text?

- Let's just get out of here.

[Dads sobbing]

- They miss her, sport.

You know they'll come back for her.

- No, they won't.

'Cause I wish for a planet of moms.

[Dads sobbing]

Yay!

[Dads celebrating]

- Ladies, we're going to need a lot of ferns.

- Well, there's no way this could possibly

Come back to haunt you.

[Burgers sizzling]

- People of dimmsdale,

We've come for your kittens!

- Quick, dad! Flip the burgers!

- [Screams]

Oh, never mind.