07x16 - Food Fight/Please Don't Feed the Turners

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands ♪

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly ♪

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality ♪

♪ They are his oddparents ♪

♪ Fairly oddparents ♪

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents ♪

- Yeah, right.

[Musical flourish]

Gong!

- Willkommen zu "extreme food fight,"

The most frightening tv cooking show ever.

I am your host, german chef brad wurst.

Tonight's contestants are...

[Brassy trumpet flourish]

Mexican chef hal apeño...

[Japanese flute music and swords zinging]

Japanese chef sue shi...

[La marseillaise]

Undfrench chef crepe suzette.

I am excited as a little german girl.

Mein liebchens, let the food fight...

Begin!

- I could be on extreme food fight.

I'm a great cook.

[Siren wails]

- Oh, man!

My mom is a terrible cook.

- Oh, I don't know.

That's only the third time

The firemen put out her food this week.

- Timmy, don't let your mom hear you say that.

You'll hurt her feelings.

- Wolfman to pink bird.

Come in, pink bird.

- Code red, dad.

Dinner looks scary.

Did you bring the takeout?

- -, Takeout obtained.

You'll live to eat another day.

- Good evening, hungry turner men.

- Quick, act nonchalant.

- I proudly present another culinary masterpiece,

Squid surprise casserole.

- [Screams]

- It's a diasterole.

- Oops. I forgot the salad.

- Don't worry, pink bird.

I'll get it off before it lays eggs in your brain.

Beep!

Now chow down on the chow mein before she comes back and...

- Honey, what are you doing with that chinese food?

- Uh, what chinese food?

- A secret hatch?

What's going on here?

[All screaming]

- Uh, whatever you're thinking,

Timmy and I do not dump all your meals down a chute

Into this giant food storage warehouse I did not build.

Pink bird, I think bad chef bought that.

- Don't you like my cooking?

- Mayday, pink bird! Mayday!

- [Sobbing]

[Sobbing]

- Mom, wait!

We didn't mean--

- Don't make any sudden moves, timmy.

February's meat loaf is watching from the shadows.

[Both screaming]

- [Panting]

I finally escaped the meat loaf.

But dad wasn't so lucky.

- Help!

It's taking me to its nest.

- I've had it!

I upset my mom, and I'm really hungry!

For once, I need a meal that won't try to eat me.

- If only your mother were a really terrific cook, like me.

- That's it!

She can be a really terrific cook.

Guys, I wish my mom was the best cook

In the whole, entire world.

[Chiming]

- Timmy, oh!

It took me all night,

But I finally vanquished that meat loaf.

[Meat loaf snarls]

- Oh, boys. Breakfast!

- Ah!

Your mother's cooking again.

- Don't worry, dad.

I have a feeling this morning's breakfast

Is going to taste a whole lot better.

- Pink bird, no!

- Whoa!

- Wow. - Whoa, check it out.

[Glorious music]

Waffle boats on a syrup river?

A leaning tower of pancakes?

Fresh-picked bacon tastes...

Amazing!

- ♪ Ah! ♪

- Delicious!

Your mother must have ordered takeout.

- No, silly.

I made it myself.

Welcome to breakfastland, boys.

Try my momcakes and sausages, toast with momalade,

And my denver momlette.

Both: awesome!

- I packed you lunches for school and work.

But before you leave, go frolic in the sausage fields.

Both: sausage fields?

I feel so greasy!

[School bell rings]

[Children cheering]

- [Burps loudly]

- [Oddparents burp loudly]

- Wow, that was the most amazing school lunch

I've ever seen, sport.

- I can't wait to see what mom's cooking for dinner.

"International house of mom"?

[Light chamber music]

♪ ♪

- Isn't this fabulous?

- I always knew I was a great cook,

And now everyone else knows it too.

What time's your reservation, dear?

- Uh, I don't have one.

- Oh, sorry.

I can't squeeze you in till a month from today.

- Oh, oka-- a month?

But I'm hungry now!

- Lucky thing my delicious leftovers

Are still down in the cellar.

- The meat loaf, it's mutated!

- Next?

- Aw, man, I can't get food at my own mom's restaurant.

- Aw, don't worry, sport.

There's food everywhere.

Your mom cooked everything in the house.

- She even cooked the house.

Try the doorknobs; they're knob-tastic.

- Delicious!

[Toilet flushes]

- If you think that's good,

You should try the toilet seat.

Wunderbar!

- Oh, my goodness!

You're brad wurst!

- Ja wohl.

And everything I hear about your food is true.

Your liver wurst is the liver best.

[Sniffs]

Your sauerkraut isn't sour at all.

Undfrolicking in the sausage field

Makes me feel so...so...

So like a little german girl.

I feel so greasy!

Fraulein, you must compete in meinshow.

I'm taking you to food fight arena

To battle for the title "best chef ever."

- Best chef ever?

Now the whole world will see I'm a great cook.

- But, mom, what am I supposed to eat while you're gone?

- Oh, maybe your father will share the meat loaf with you.

- Run, timmy!

- Wish me luck.

[Whistles]

Both: fahrvergnuegen!

- Mom can't go compete on some dumb tv show.

She's supposed to be here, cooking for dad and me.

- Well, I've got even worse news for you, sport.

We can't use magic to help her win a competition,

So she's going to lose her cooking powers

The second the contest starts.

- Then we're never going to get to eat any of her food again.

Guess I'd better hurry up and eat the house.

[Voracious gobbling]

- Guys, we've got to get to the food fight arena!

[Cheers and applause]

Gong!

- Willkommen to extreme food fight.

Tonight it's the three top chefs in the world:

Hal apeño...

Sue shi...

And crepe suzette...

Versus chef timmy's mom!

- I'm here to show everyone I'm the best cook in the world.

- Undnow let the contest begin.

- Well, that's weird.

Suddenly, I feel like I can't cook at all.

But that can't be true.

I'm a great chef.

- Tonight's challenge is...

Make a casserole.

- I'll make my specialty:

Squid surprise.

- Oh, no, the diasterole?

My mom will get humiliated on national tv for sure.

- I'm so nervous.

Good thing I brought the snicker doodle shutters.

- Ready, set...

Cook!

- [Screams]

[Siren wails]

[Laughter]

[Horns blaring]

- Time's up.

Now let's taste the casseroles and pick a winner.

Delicious.

Delectable.

Heavenly.

And chef timmy's mom?

- Ay, carumba.

[Laughter]

- I wish there was something we could do

To help her, sport.

- Maybe you can't help her, but I can.

Listen up.

I know this squid thing looks kinda weird.

But my mom's food is the best in the whole world.

And to prove it, I'm going to eat this whole thing...

Right now.

[All gasp]

- [Sobbing]

I'll miss him so much.

- Wow.

This is...

Totally...

Awesome!

All: huh?

- This squid surprise is surprisingly delicious.

We have a winner.

[Cheers and applause]

- Oh, thanks.

But the best prize is knowing

That you and your father really do love my cooking.

Wait.

Where is your father?

- Now I am the alpha loaf!

Meat loaves, follow me to dinkleberg's house.

But first let's frolic in the sausage fields!

Ooh, I feel so greasy!

[Doorbell rings] [knocking at door]

Doug dimmadome?

- Congratulations, timmy turner.

You and your parents are the lucky winners

Of my first family in space contest.

You're going on a genuine outer space adventure.

- That's weird.

We never entered a first family in space contest.

- I know; your name was randomly picked from a hat

By a circus monkey.

He also picked out my outfit.

Here's the key.

Beep!

Enjoy your space ride.

- What's going on, timmy?

- Uh, a monkey picked us to go to outer space.

- Oh, my goodness.

We're going to outer space?

[Screams with delight]

- Oh, my goodness.

Timmy's holding a set of keys!

Yeah!

- Sport, maybe you shouldn't take your family into space.

Don't you remember?

Dark laser vowed to annihilate you

After you blew up his death ball.

- For, like, the eleventeenth time.

- Yeah, you guys do have a point.

You know, I'm not so sure we should go into space

Just 'cause a circus monkey picked our name from a hat.

- That's exactly why we should go.

Monkeys are never wrong about space travel.

Yeh!

We're heading for the sun.

We got a defective monkey!

- We're breaking up.

We need to jettison the extra weight.

- Uh, bowling balls, barbells, my suit of armor.

Timmy's fish!

[Oddparents scream]

- Ah! You couldn't have thrown out the barbells?

- They're your mother's, timmy.

I can't even lift them.

[All screaming]

- Oof!

- Doug dimmadome?

What are you doing here?

- I ain't here, because I'm not doug dimmadome.

I am dark laser.

And you, timmy turner, have fallen for the old

"Circus monkey picked your name from a hat

To win a trip to space contest" trick.

[Laughs incoherently] outer space!

- Timmy, aren't you going to introduce us

To your scary friend?

- He's not my friend; he's an evil alien.

He's out to get me, because I destroyed his death ball.

- Like eleventeen times.

Guards, lock them up.

- Ooh! Are you taking us to the zoo?

- No, I'm putting you in the zoo.

You see, after your son destroyed my death ball,

I built this alien zoo to raise money for repairs.

You turners will be my human exhibit,

Not to mention my star attraction.

- You built a zoo?

That's, like, the lamest plan ever.

- Lame? I don't think so.

Because I also built...

A mall.

[Laughs]

It's another clever money-making scheme.

I call it "the death mall on the death ball."

It was built by my friend saul last fall.

He's tall. I should give him a call.

- [Chattering]

- [Roaring]

- This is the hideously unpleasant habitat

Where you will live like caged animals.

- It looks just like our house on earth.

- Yes, but with a few horrifying additions,

Like a meteor room with a big-screen tv.

Both: no!

- What? You don't find that terrifying?

- Uh, of course we do, mr. Dark laser.

I just hope you don't give me a mini fridge

Full of cherry sodas.

Oh, that would be unbearable.

- Really?

Guards, bring in the mini fridge and cherry sodas.

[Laughs]

- I think I'm going to like living like a caged animal.

- Turner, I need , billion death dollars

To repair my death ball.

And once I get it, I will annihilate you and your family.

Beep!

Ladies and gentlemen, the death ball zoo

Is proud to present our brand-new human habitat.

And there's a sale on wookiee meat

At the slaughtery barn.

[Laughs] sale on wookiee meat!

[Dinging]

Please don't feed the turners.

- Oh, no.

Cosmo, wanda, where are you?

- Oh, no, it's the death ball.

Cosmo, do you know what that means?

- It means doug dimmadome was really dark laser in disguise

And the contest was just a trick to capture timmy.

Duh!

- Wow, cosmo.

That's so not like you to figure that out.

- You're right.

That must mean I'm not really cosmo.

I better pull off this disguise.

Wow, whoever I am, I used a lot of glue.

- We have to get to the death ball.

Now to save timmy.

Wait a minute; we're in a mall?

- Yeah, ooh, and there's a sale at dead, bath, and beyond.

- Cosmo, how can you think of shopping

At a time like this?

Wow, there's a doomingdale's.

I'll meet you at demon marcus in ten minutes.

Then we'll save timmy.

- My plan is working perfectly, turner.

People are paying me billions of death dollars

Just to see you and your parents suffer.

- Honey, he's watching.

Ham it up.

Please, mr. Dark laser!

I can't take much more of this.

Whatever you do, don't give me

A high-def premium sports package for my tv!

- And I beg you,

Don't give me a butler to serve me a cobb salad.

[Sobs]

With ranch on the side!

- Guards, install the high-def sports package,

And bring in a butler with ranch on the side.

[Laughs] cobb salad...tomatoes!

[Upbeat music]

- Yes! I mean, no!

- Hooray! I mean, why?

- [Laughs]

Turner, the screams of your parents

Are music to my ears.

Come on, flipsy.

I'll buy you a new toy at the death ball.

Ding!

Ding, ding!

Mom, dad, we've got to get out of here!

As soon as that tote board

Hits , billion death dollars,

He's going to annihilate us.

- Oh, timmy, would a man who's going to annihilate us

Really give me this can of fancy cashews?

- Looks like I'm on my own.

I'm going to dig under this force field

And get us out of here.

[Electricity crackling] ah!

Stupid force field!

[Cheers and applause]

- [Whistling casually]

- Cosmo, what are you doing?

We said we'd meet ten minutes ago.

- I got a job.

I'm a fry cook here at hell on a stick.

- Cosmo, that's gross!

- I know, but I earned enough death dollars

To take us all to the alien zoo.

I hear everyone loves that place.

- I hate this place.

And stop laughing at me!

[Screams]

- Well, flipsy, it looks like the crowd is flipping

Over the turner attraction.

That gives me an idea.

I'll use turner's popularity

To make the money I need even faster.

Welcome, everyone.

We have a big show for you today

Starring everybody's favorite earthling, timmy turner,

With special guest orcatron, the boy-eating space whale.

- [Chattering]

- [Timmy screams]

[Cheers and applause]

- There's nothing funnier

Than watching some stupid earthling get eaten

By a space whale.

Oh, our timmy would love this show.

- [Laughs]

- Great show, timmy.

Can we get your autograph-- you know, for wanda?

It's spelled c-o-s-r--

- No autographs!

Congratulations, turner.

Your silly antics financed the final repairs

Of my death ball.

As a reward, I will jettison you and your parents

Into the dark void of space.

- [Screams]

Mom, we gotta do something.

Dark laser's going to blast us into space.

- Timmy, calm down.

Why can't you just enjoy living in a space zoo

With a green butler, like me?

- Cosmo, wanda, you gotta poof us all home.

- Sorry, sport.

It looks like this force field is magic-proof.

- [Dark laser laughs]

And now to blow up the turners.

I had this button especially made

For this occasion.

Only myself and turner's weight-lifting mother

Could possibly push it.

- Oh, no. We gotta do something fast.

- [Snoring]

Fancy...cashews.

- [Laughs]

- I got it!

Your magic can't reach me,

But it can reach dark laser.

- Spindly legs, big teeth, stupid pink hat.

Oh, no!

[Grunting]

- Turner, he's escaped!

- Unhand me, fools.

I'm dark laser.

Flipsy, tell them who I am.

- Arf, arf!

- That's cute, but it's not helping!

- Now, guys!

Poof me and my parents out of here.

- No problem.

I'll just escape through this tunnel.

- Let's go home.

I wish all the aliens and zoo animals

Would go back to their home planets.

Oh, and you might as well turn dark laser back to normal.

[All cheering]

- Curse you, turner.

I'll make you pay!

[Laughs] it's not that funny.

- Uh, guys, one last wish?

- You got it, sport.

One k*ller space whale coming right up.

- [Roars] - [screams]

- Tastes great

But could us a little ranch on the side.

- Flipsy! Oh!

- I still have my cashews.