09x06 - Scary GodCouple

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Up-tempo lounge music]

♪

[Lightning crashes]

- Foop, you may approach the anti-fairy council.

- Sorry I'm late.

I was busy hurling a planet of talking teddy bears

Into a black hole.

Also, I had a little diaper mishap in the car.

- We are all impressed

With how hard you've worked at becoming truly evil.

- Well, it's not really work

If you love what you're doing.

- As a result, we are giving you

The greatest honor we can bestow on an anti-fairy:

Your very own scary godchild.

- Ooh. Bring it on.

There's no one too scary for foop.

- We've assigned you an earthling

Named vicky.

[Lightning crashes]

- [Cackles]

- [Screams]

Not her!

She terrifies me.

Isn't there anyone else? An evil dictator?

A mad scientist?

Debbie, the spoiled rage-aholic

From the real housewives of dimmsdale?

I'm begging you to reconsider.

Would a crisp $ bill change your mind?

Does anyone have change for a two spot?

- The word of the council is final.

One last thing, foop.

If you attempt to escape from vicky

Or defy her wishes,

Your baba will zap you

Like this.

[Screams] [sighs and farts]

Oops. Just had another diaper mishap.

[Splats on ground] - you are dismissed.

- Ooh! Oh!

- [Giggles]

- Guys, this is the perfect day at the beach.

- [Giggles] - oh, twerp!

- Ahh!

[Pounding footsteps approach]

- Guess what we're doing today?

- Going to the circus with the tickets

My dad gave you?

- Get real.

I sold those tickets and pocketed the cash.

We're going to play a game called

"Lock the twerp in his room

"With a rabid badger while his baby-sitter watches

the real housewives of dimmsdale."

I love debbie, the spoiled rage-aholic.

She's my role model. [Laughs]

[Cackles] - [growls]

- We need something to distract the badger!

- [Growls]

- I'm okay.

[Screams]

- Thanks, cosmo.

Anyway, sport, sorry about vicky

Ruining your day at the circus.

- No worries, why go to the circus

When you have fairies who can bring the circus to you?

- Why indeed?

That's just one of those questions

That'll probably have to go unanswered,

Like, "what's the meaning of life?"

And "how did this veal parmesan get in my pocket?"

And "why is it still hot?"

Hot! [Both scream]

- Just poof me up a circus.

- [Laughs]

- Thanks for saving the day, guys.

This is perfect.

- Not exactly perfect.

I dropped my veal in a circus cannon.

[Horn honks] - hey, it's the clown car.

One of my former owners was a clown.

Either that or he was just a guy

Who liked to wear make-up on saturday nights.

[Elephant trumpets]

- Sport, this is a little over-the-top.

You don't want vicky to catch you.

- Relax, wanda. [Horse neighs]

As long as we keep the circus in my room,

Vicky will never know.

- Next on the real housewives of dimmsdale,

Debbie has a restaurant meltdown.

- You call this a bendy straw?

[Grunts and screams]

- You go, debbie.

[Elephant trumpets]

[Groans]

[Growls] twerp!

I don't know what's going on,

But you are so busted.

[Screams]

- Wow, she took that veal parmesan

Right in the kisser.

- Ahh! I wish the circus was gone!

[Elephant trumpets]

- Mr. Turner, timmy's got a full-blown circus in his room

With elephants and clowns

And a cannon that sh**t veal parmesan!

- Vicky, have you been applying your nail polish

Without the proper ventilation again?

- Come on!

Aha!

What?

I'm telling you, there was a circus in here.

And I was hit in the face with italian food.

And an elephant fell through the floor!

- Let's talk about the realelephant in the room.

I think you need to see a cuckoo doctor.

- Thank goodness you're back, dad.

Vicky didn't take me to the circus.

And she locked in my room with a rabid badger!

- Let's talk about the realbadger in the room,

The one that's growling at you and foaming at the mouth.

[Badger growls]

- I don't know what just happened,

But I'm gonna find a way to get that twerp.

[Sighs] okay.

I need to calm down

Or take my anger out on some random stranger.

- Hey, stranger.

- [Screams] - [screams]

[Both scream]

- [Screams]

- [Groans]

- [Groaning]

- Wait a minute.

You're that weird blue baby

Who wanted to destroy timmy.

- My friends call me "foop."

But I have no friends.

So call me "foop."

Sorry. You make me nervous.

Also, I think I have a concussion.

- What do you want, weirdo?

- Well, I'm a magical anti-fairy,

And I'm here to be your scary godparent

And grant your every evil wish.

[Laughs]

You're welcome.

- If you're really magic, prove it.

[Lightning crashes]

- Whoa, that's pretty cool.

- Oh, that wasn't me.

There's a storm coming in.

But watch this!

Ta-da.

- [Screams]

- [Screams]

You've got kind of a trigger finger on that mace there.

- All right. So you're my scary godparent.

And you've gotta grant all my wishes.

But I have so many. How do I tell you all of them?

How? how?

- I'll perform an anti-fairy mind meld.

It will allow me to see all your evil dreams.

Oh, dear, your neck is as scaly and cold

As the skin of a serpent.

- What did you say?

- Nothing, nothing.

You're a radiant angel.

Mind melding now.

Oh!

It's a tsunami of skulls,

Fire, hatred, and boy bands.

[Shudders]

Why are they always dancing in the rain?

- Never question boy bands

Or their smooth dance moves!

Okay, listen.

If we're gonna work together,

You're gonna have to get a better look.

So my first wish is for you to dress

Like my favorite boy band star ever.

- No can do, sister.

I caught a glimpse of him in the mind meld

And he's a little on the precious side.

[Groans]

Well, that's the last time I defy your wishes

And express my own free will.

Wish coming up!

Well, my life is over now.

- Don't speak unless you're spoken to!

- [Screams]

- Now, let's test out this magic of yours.

Who do I wanna make miserable?

I know.

That cheapskate mr. Turner never paid me.

I wish he were handcuffed

To his mortal enemy, mr. Dinkelberg.

- Dinkelberg?

No!

[Groans]

- This is a great idea, turner.

Handcuffing us together is a wonderful way

To build a neighborly bond.

What do you say we go hug some sad people?

- Uh, well, you'll have to start with me, you monster.

- Okay.

- Oh! It's my nightmare!

- Impressive.

Now, let's take it up a notch.

I'll use your magic to make timmy turner's life

And the lives of kids everywhere pure misery.

[Cackles]

[Both laugh]

Don't laugh evilly until I tell you to!

- This is chet ubetcha with some bad news for kids.

Weekends and summer vacations

Have been magically cancelled.

Also, all kids must practice the tuba four hours a day

Or four tubas for one hour a day.

- Oh, come on. This can't be real.

- This is totally real.

And if you don't practice, you will be att*cked

By a vicious beast called "the tuba-cabra"

As seen here in this picture from timmy turner's room.

- Wait, what?

- [Growls] [all scream]

[Brassy yelling] [screams]

- Ah! Poof it away! Poof it away!

- [Brassy yelling]

- Guys, what the heck is happening?

- Well, either a stampede of elephants

Is about to crush us,

Or every kid in dimmsdale

Is practicing the tuba.

Speaking of which...

- Oh! - I can't play the tuba anymore.

My lips hurt. Ah!

Not as much as tuba-cabra claws.

Ahh!

- Anyway, timmy, it's saturday.

You should be in school.

- Oh, I am not going to school on saturday.

Whatever's going on here, make it stop!

I want you to poof it all away!

[Exasperated tuba playing]

All: yay!

- This is chet ubetcha saying

Forget everything I just said.

Kids can go have fun again.

- What happened?

All my evil wishes went away!

- Have they?

I can't see a thing with this stupid hair in my eyes.

[Laughs nervously]

Stupid hair that I'm very, very grateful for.

Don't hurt me. - All right.

Let's do this again.

I wish all kids in dimmsdale

Were stuffed in lockers.

- [Giggles]

- Guys, get me outta here!

- Normally, weird things only happen

When I wish for them.

What's going on around here?

- You're asking me?

I'm still trying to figure out

How hot meat dishes keep showing up in my pocket.

- The only thing I can think of

Is somebody else is out there making wishes.

Really mean wishes.

And apparently, you're not the only kid

Who was stuffed in a locker.

[Screaming]

- Oh, no.

I wish all the lockers were gone.

- Guys, we've gotta figure out who's behind all this.

- Why do all my wishes keep being undone?

- If it pleases you, your evilness,

I have a theory.

- Spit it out. - [Spits]

- Not your gum, your theory.

And stuff yourself in a locker

For putting gum in my hair.

- There is someone else who has magical fairies.

And he's probably using them to unwish your wishes.

[Groans] - who is it?

- It's... [Stutters]

Timmy turner, your psychotic-ness.

- The twerp has fairies?

So that explains the funny business with the circus

And how he wears a pink hat without getting b*at up.

So the way to destroy timmy is to destroy his fairies.

And that's exactly what we're gonna do!

[Both cackle]

Don't laugh evilly until I tell you to!

- Sorry.

- So tell me, weirdo:

How do I capture timmy turner's fairies?

[Bat squeaks]

- I'm sorry.

Is that a fruit bat on your shoulder?

- Yeah, for some reason, they nest in my room.

- [Screams]

Good grief.

What are you?

I can't take it anymore!

Will you excuse me for one moment?

[Screams]

Oh, right.

I can't defy you

Without being zapped by my baba.

- Stop messing around

And tell me how to catch the twerp's fairies.

- To be perfectly honest,

Catching fairies is not my specialty.

But I do know an expert.

[Doorbell rings]

- Come on in.

I was just pouring some lemonade.

Not for the dolls, though. That would be creepy.

So what can I do you for?

- We need you to tell us

How to catch timmy turner's fairies.

- Fairies? Well, I'm an expert in that.

If you've define "expert" as someone

Who's never accomplished the one thing

He set out to do.

- Save me.

- What did you just say?

- Um, I meant save me a glass of lemonade.

[Laughs nervously]

Uh, the fruit bat dipped its talons in mine.

After all, lemons are a fruit.

And he is a fruit bat.

It stands to reason. [Cries]

I want to go home! [Groans]

- Do you have anything to help us catch fairies?

- Do i? [Beep]

[Both scream]

- Those are butterfly nets.

No fairy or deranged lunatic can escape them.

And that's the crocker pot.

Not only does it catch fairies

But it also makes a great rump roast,

Which happens to be the one food fairies can't resist.

- [Laughs] perfect.

I'll take the rump roast and the crocker pot.

- Whoa, whoa!

If you're going fairy hunting,

I'm coming with you.

- You're not going anywhere.

Stuff him in a locker.

- Oh, the downside of having dolls for friends

Is they can't pick a lock.

I mean, they're not mine!

[Electronic beeping]

- Any luck locating the source of the evil magic?

- I haven't found any magic.

But I did find these pocket tacos.

I call them "pacos."

- Well, at least sparky's on the case.

- Good news, guys. I found the case.

- That's my dad briefcase.

- Let's see: there's a yo-yo,

A paddle ball game, and a scary, hand-scrawled book

Called sink the dink:

how I plan to destroy dinkelberg

and tarnish his legacy.

- That's my dad's, all right.

Where is my dad, anyway?

- Normally, I share my box seats to the baseball game

With an underprivileged child.

But since we're handcuffed together,

I guess it's your lucky day.

- Some lucky day.

Great seats, free hot dogs,

And I got to throw out the first pitch.

Somebody wake me from this hideous dream!

[Bat hits ball]

Oh, great!

Now, I've caught a record-breaking home run ball

Worth thousands of dollars.

You despicable fiend!

- Sport, I've located the source of the evil magic.

It's...

[Sniffs]

What is that delicious smell?

- Burnt pacos?

No, wait. It's rump roast.

No fairy can resist it.

Ooh.

All: rump roast. Rump roast.

Rump roast.

- Soon, I'll capture the twerp's fairies.

And no one will be able to undo my evil wishes!

Just out of curiosity,

Why isn't the rump roast thing working on you?

- Because I'm an anti-fairy.

Our weakness isn't rump roast.

It's the exact opposite,

Which everyone knows is chicken cordon bleu.

All: rump roast. Rump roast.

Rump roast. - Ha! We did it!

We captured the twerp's fairies!

- No!

Vicky caught cosmo, wanda, and poof.

Wait, how come the rump roast didn't work on you?

- I'm a fairy dog.

Everyone knows our weakness is lobster bisque.

- No one knows that!

Anyway, how did vicky find out I have fairies?

- Because i, the great and powerful foop, told her.

Please save me from her.

- You're through, twerp.

I want all my wishes reinstated.

But instead of putting the twerp in a locker,

Put him in a ballet class

Taught by an angry monkey with a taser!

- [Shouts nervously]

- [Sighs] music to my ears.

Children in lockers practicing the tuba.

Come on, scary godparent.

I've got some more misery to cause.

- Uh-oh. It's up to me to save everyone.

First, I gotta get six taps on this paddle ball game.

One, two. Okay, this may take a while.

- Can I please stop now?

- No. Plie! - [Screams]

- Freeze, dance monkey. - [Screams]

[Groans] - [yells]

[Groans]

- One. Two.

Three, four. - [Groans]

- Darn it. I can never get to six.

- I'm okay. Ahh!

No, not okay.

Ironically, I slipped on a banana peel.

- Come on, sparky.

We gotta go save my fairies and stop vicky.

Before we do that,

Can you take off the tutu?

It's unsettling.

- [Groans]

- Help! Let us out!

- Help! Wanda just yelled "help" in my ear.

- Quiet!

I'm gonna set this crocker pot to vaporize.

In ten minutes, the twerp's fairies

Will be as cooked as that rump roast.

[Cackles]

All right, weirdo.

Time to ramp up the evil.

I wish ice cream tasted like sardines.

I wish all birthday parties were cancelled.

And finally, I wish there really were monsters

Under every kid's bed!

- Boy, you have issues.

- Just do it!

- [Groans] - ahh!

- [Shrieks] - ahh!

Both: ahh!

- I wish you were wearing a sandpaper diaper.

- [Cries]

So this is how it ends?

Wearing a scratchy diaper in a room full of bats.

[Cries] cry, cry, weeping sounds.

[Weeps]

- [Sniffs]

Something smells really good, timmy.

- That's my fairies.

We've got to get them out of that crocker pot

Before their rumps are roasted.

But how? - I got it.

- What? - I did six!

- Sparky, focus!

If we don't get them out in the next five minutes,

They're cooked.

Come on!

- [Brassy growling]

- Oh, no. I have to practice my tuba.

- [Growls]

[Growls]

- We've gotta get in there and take out vicky.

- We can't, timmy.

Vicky will use foop to destroy us.

- Not if we can convince foop

To turn on her first.

He's spent a lot of time with vicky.

He must be ready to cr*ck by now.

- [Growls]

[Mutters indistinctly]

- Come on, sparky.

Hold it, vicky.

- [Growls]

- Ahh! - [Growls]

- Twerp, what are you doing here?

Call off your dog.

Nevermind, I'll have my scary godparent do it.

Foop, destroy them!

- Can I take off the diaper?

- No! - [Shouts nervously]

- Foop, wait.

If you help us stop vicky and let me save my fairies,

I'll help you get away from her.

- I can't defy vicky.

If I do, my baba gives me an owie.

- Use big-boy words.

I'll get my fairies to blast your baba

So you can be free of vicky.

- Really? Can I also get a snack?

She threw out my little bag of fishy cr*cker num-nums.

- Don't listen to him, foop.

You're myscary godparent.

And you'll do as isay.

And I say suffer!

- Mmm. Something smells delicious.

- That's us, cosmo.

- Foop, you gotta listen to me.

Vicky's gonna keep treating you badly.

If you don't wanna wind up in that crocker pot someday,

Blast her now, and let me save wanda, cosmo, and poof.

- Forget it, timmy.

There's nothing you can say to change my mind.

- What if I throw in some chicken cordon bleu?

- Mind changed. Perish, evil shrew!

[Screams] - ha, ha!

You can't do it.

You're worthless. And you're mine forever!

- Wanna bet, bat lady?

- [Screams]

- [Screams]

[Sighs]

All: yay!

- Thanks, sport. Our goose was almost cooked.

- Actually, it was fully cooked.

I had a goose in my magic meat pocket.

- [Honks] - [yelps]

- Thanks for saving my fairies, foop.

- Thank you for saving my behind, literally.

- Guys, I want you to give foop a chicken cordon bleu,

A new baba, and an owie-free diaper.

- Timmy, use your big-boy words.

- Thank you. But can I get an apple juice?

Grape juice doesn't go well with chicken.

Bunch of tacky morons.

- Guys, we need to undo all of vicky's evil wishes.

All: yay! - Ahh!

[Groans]

- [Growls]

- Yay! I'm traumatized.

- You know, turner, I was gonna take my wife

On this first-class caribbean cruise.

But since we're handcuffed together,

It's your lucky week.

- How dare you shower me with luxury!

I hope you rot for this.

- Well, look at that. You're free to go.

- Oh, right, and forgo the nachos

I just put on your tab?

That would play right into your grimy hand.

Speaking of your grimy hand, would you mind

Rubbing some sun block on my back?

- Sure, pal.

- This is the life.

I mean, curse you, dinkelberg!

- Foop, you have failed miserably

As a scary godparent.

- It appears you are not as evil as we had hoped.

- Oh, really?

I'll show youevil.

- Why does this hurt so much?

- Because you're wearing sandpaper diapers!

[Laughs]

Oh, I'm back, baby!

- It's good to be home, guys.

What do you say we go get some dinner?

- No need, timmy.

My magic pockets are filled with moo goo gai pan.

Whoo, that's a lot of goo and not much gai pan.

- Uh, yeah. Let's just go out to eat.

By the way, where did you poof vicky?

- Oh, don't worry.

We're keeping her on her toes.

- This sandpaper tutu hurts!

- Just keep dancing, bat lady!

- [Screams]

- You know what? I'm keeping the hair.