09x12 - A Boy and His Dog-Boy/Crock Blocked

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Timmy is an average kid

♪ That no one understands

♪ Mom and dad and vicky always giving him commands ♪

- Bed, twerp!

- ♪ The doom and gloom up in his room ♪

♪ Is broken instantly

♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪

♪ 'Cause in reality

♪ They are his oddparents

♪ Fairly oddparents

- Wands and wings.

- Float-y crown-y things.

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hot rod ♪

- Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

- ♪ Oddparents, fairly oddparents ♪

♪ It flips your lid when you are the kid ♪

♪ With fairly oddparents

- Yeah, right.

[Upbeat music]

♪

- This is awesome, timmy.

I've always wanted to go to a demolition derby.

- Sorry, but no dogs allowed. Doug dimmadome's rules.

He hates everything on four legs,

Including dining room tables.

- That's why I eat standing up.

You go on home now, dog.

Let that ostrich in.

It's only got two legs.

- Two tickets to the wizard of paws,please.

- Sorry, but no dogs allowed.

You can go right on through, mr. Ostrich.

- Aw, don't be bummed, sparky.

Let's go to the dog park.

They gotta let you in there.

- Sorry, no dogs allowed at doug dimmadome's bark park.

- That's stupid.

Why would you open a dog park and not let dogs in?

- I like to disappoint them.

I like to disappoint dining room tables too,

But they don't have feelings.

Hey, lady, get that dining room table out of here!

It's scaring the ostrich.

- Aw, why the long face, sport?

- They won't let sparky in anywhere 'cause he's a dog.

- Well, dogs are kind of passe.

The hot pets right now are alligator snapping turtles,

Like natasha here.

I thought it was a different kind of snapping,

But it turns out turtles don't have thumbs.

And neither do I since I got this thing.

- [Snaps and growls] - [screams]

- Aw, she likes you.

Word of advice: don't give her a thumbs-up.

- Okay, back to my thing.

It'd be great if sparky could go everywhere humans could.

Wait, that's it!

I wish sparky was human!

- Cool.

- Okay, that's creepy.

You gotta stand up.

Okay, now crouch a little.

You're taller than me.

This is awesome.

Now just remember, you're a human, so act like one.

- You got it, timmy.

- Honey, you were right about timmy!

He is short for his age.

Who's your new friend, timmy?

- He's our new foreign exchange student, sparky.

- Oh, what a coincidence.

Timmy has a dog named sparky.

He likes to drink out of the toilet.

Do you?

- Don't answer that.

- Sparky also likes books on tape,

Sniffing butts, and chasing his tail.

Do you chase your tail?

- Don't answer that either.

- Speaking of your dog, sparky,

I have this delicious turkey leg to give him.

I tried to give it to an ostrich,

But the darn thing ran into a dog park.

- Dad, I can explain.

- No need, timmy.

We mustn't judge our foreign guest's customs

No matter how savage and backward they are.

What country is he from anyway?

- Uh, turkey?

- [Laughs] oh, timmy!

Now you're just making up countries.

[Cheerful music]

[Crowd cheers]

- This is awesome, sparky.

- I'll say.

Human food is way better than dog food.

Hot melted cheese from a pump?

Sold!

- I was talking about taking you to the demolition derby.

- Yeah, I've always wanted to come here, timmy.

You know, nothing says "fun" quite like watching grown men

Ram their race cars into each other.

Hey, is that your dad?

- Help! I took a wrong turn

On my way to the dry cleaner.

[Screams]

Now I have to go to the dry cleaner and the trauma unit.

Ooh! Cheese from a pump!

I love being human!

[Groans]

[Bell rings]

- Sparky, making you human is the best wish I ever made.

- You said it, timmy. I get to go everywhere with you.

I never wanna be a dog again.

- Well, it looks like we have a new student.

Where are you from, young man that's taller than timmy turner?

- Turkey.

- You get an "f" for making up countries!

Oh, ow! Why?

[All laugh]

- I chewed the leg off his chair.

- Okay, that was pretty funny.

But you shouldn't have done that, sparky.

Sparky? - Squirrel!

Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark,

Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark!

- [Screams] squirrel!

- I guess school's over.

[All cheer]

- Sparky, where you going?

- I have no idea.

Hopefully somewhere where they have cheese in a pump.

See you later, timmy.

- Wow, sport, sparky's out pretty late.

I guess he really loves being human.

- Yeah, I'm happy he gets to do stuff

He couldn't do before as a dog,

But I kinda miss having a pet.

- I know what you mean, timmy.

Ever since natasha, my alligator snapping turtle left me,

I've got this hole in my heart.

Also, this hole in my pants.

- Natasha left you?

- Left,

Chewed through her reinforced steel cage and escaped--

Same thing.

- I made this wish,

So sparky and I could hang out together more,

But now it seems like we're hanging out even less.

- So your wish came back to bite you in the butt.

Kind of like natasha did to me

After she chewed her way through that cage.

Those bars were electrified too.

[Screams]

- Don't worry, timmy.

Sparky will get over this human thing soon

And want to be your pet again.

- I sure hope natasha doesn't wanna be my...

[Shivers] pet again.

[Shivers]

- She really scared you, huh?

- No, I'm shuddering because I'm holding an electrified cage.

- Being human is awesome.

I can eat chocolate now without getting sick.

Wait, I was wrong.

I ate too much chocolate!

[Vomits]

I can buy my own cats to chase whenever I want.

[Cats yowl]

I ate too much chocolate again!

[Vomits]

I can fly a plane now, timmy.

- You could fly when you were a fairy dog.

- Yeah, but now I make grand a year.

- Guys, this stinks.

I want sparky and me to hang out like we used to.

I wish sparky was a dog again.

The true love block?

Who's sparky in love with?

- Sparky's in love with being human,

And we can't poof him back into a dog unless he wants us to.

- This is just great.

Sparky loves being human.

Can this wish get any worse?

- Timmy turner, things just got worse!

You are in the doghouse

For messing with the human-canine continuum.

- The what now?

- It's one of the lesser known continuums.

Because you made sparky human,

There is a void in the canine world.

So some human is going to have to take sparky's place.

And by "some human," I mean you!

- But I don't wanna be a dog.

- If you want things back the way they were,

You have to convince sparky to be a dog again.

But you only have one week,

Otherwise you will be a dog forever.

- Well, a week's not so bad.

- In dog time, that's one hour.

- No!

- By the way, you look like a cotton candy that poops.

- Hey there, cute little pink dog.

What's your name?

"Timmy?"

What a coincidence.

I have a son named timmy.

I've also got a new pet alligator snapping turtle

I found in the bathroom.

He's kind of a pain in the butt, but I like him.

I'm talking about my son, timmy.

- This stinks!

- Well, your dog nose is super sensitive, timmy.

- Timmy, you've gotta convince sparky to be a dog again.

- But first I have to find him.

[Squirrel chitters] squirrel!

Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark!

Bark, bark, bark! - [Squeaks]

- [Growls]

Oh, no.

Now I have the sudden urge

To drink toilet water and chase my tail.

Cosmo, wanda, quick.

Poof us to sparky.

There's sparky.

Hey! - No dogs allowed!

- Cosmo, wanda, find sparky.

- Oh, hey, guys. Nacho?

- Sparky, you have to save timmy from becoming roadkill!

- Timmy? Where is he?

All I see is a car headed toward a dog

That looks like cotton candy that poops.

- That pooping cotton candy is timmy!

- What a coincidence.

I have a friend named timmy.

Oh, no, it's timmy!

- [Screams]

- This is why I usually drive standing up.

- Timmy, are you okay?

And why are you a weird, pink dog?

- You becoming human caused some freaky imbalance in the universe

That turned me into a dog.

- But I like being a dog. - Really?

- Don't get me wrong.

I'm totally rocking this human thing,

But wearing clothes is so uncomfortable.

Also it's apparently illegal

For a human to sniff another human's butt.

Especially if the other human is the mayor.

- This is great, sparky.

Not the "sniffing the butts" thing.

That's gross.

But that you love being a dog

More than being human.

[Alarm beeps] oh, no!

We only have seconds

To unwish the wish, or I'll be a dog forever.

- Just say the word, timmy.

- I wish-- [yelps]

- I said no dogs allowed!

- Oh, no!

Timmy's gotta make the wish

In seconds, or he'll be a dog forever.

- Don't worry, wanda.

I know exactly what to do.

- That's not helping!

- It's not hurting!

- Somebody please tell me how to get to the dry cleaners.

Oh, no, there's a dining room table in the road.

I'll swerve and hit that guy in the cowboy hat instead.

- [Screams]

- I wish sparky was a dog again.

- We sure turned the tables on that situation.

Get it?

Now let's get out of here.

- How is that helping?

- It's not hurting.

Now it's hurting.

- Glad to have things back to normal, sparky.

- Yeah, this is how things should be, timmy.

You as a boy and me as your magical, talking dog.

- Well, sport, it looks like this wish

Didn't come back to bite you in the butt after all.

- Unlike natasha.

All right, sweetie, it's time to go back in your cage.

[Yelps]

- Ooh, a shiny new alligator snapping turtle!

- [Growls]

- I can throw this at dinkleberg.

[Chomping] ow, my thumb!

[Bell rings]

- Listen up, my little beasts of burden.

Just to be clear, you're the beasts and the burden.

It's time for show-and-tell.

- I have something to show.

It's a priceless vase my dad bought in china.

- Can it, conveniently named beatrice burden!

This is my show and my tell!

Behold my new fairy catching device, the crock duster!

It grinds fairies into magical fairy dust,

Which I can then use on myself

With this very masculine powder puff.

[All sneeze]

- Why are you looking at me, mr. Crocker?

I don't have fairies.

- Don't lie to me!

As sure as you have sneezing pencils,

I'll find your fairies who are clearly not here.

And when I do...

[All whimper]

[Cackles]

[Screams]

[Horn honks]

Who redirected traffic into the hallway?

- Man, mr. Crocker just never gives up.

- Timmy, from now on, you should make your wishes at home

When you know it's safe.

- I hate brushing my teeth.

I wish I never had to do it.

- Aha! - [Screams]

- Sorry to make such a splash, turner,

But were you just making a wish to your fairies?

[Toilet flushes] you can't get rid of me!

I survived the great hallway bus crash

Of : this morning!

Fun fact: in tasmania, I'd be spinning the other direction.

- Dad, the toilet's full of crocker!

- Lucky for you, I happened to be crouched

Outside your door with a plunger.

- [Groans]

[Screams] [toilet flushes]

- Mr. Crocker's driving me crazy.

At least he's finally gone.

- Sleep tight, turner.

Don't let the bedbugs get your fairies!

- [Screams]

Dad, there's a giant crockeroach in my bed!

- Lucky for you, I was crouched outside your door

With a bedbug bat!

I got this when I played baseball

For the dimmsdale bedbugs.

[Heroic music]

- [Screams]

- Ooh, judging from its lady screams, this is a female bug.

I'm gonna drag it downstairs and hit it in the egg sack.

- Not the egg sack!

- That's it!

I can't take mr. Crocker watching over my shoulder

For the rest of my life.

I wish he would just disappear.

- Whoa, sport.

Don't you think that wish might be a little drastic?

- Drastic?

Did you forget that mr. Crocker

Wants to turn you to dust

And use you to powder his nose, woman?

- Point taken.

Adios, mr. Crocker.

- Turner can't hide his fairies from me forever!

One day, when he least expects it, I'll sneak up behind him

And wham! [Screams]

[Grunts] are you blind?

I'm wearing a bright red bug costume--

[Screaming]

[All cheering]

I hate sports.

[Bell rings]

- Good news, everyone.

I've got a hunch stupid mr. Crocker

Won't ever come to class again.

- I've got a hunch too, turner.

And I'm right here!

- [Screams] what?

I hear mr. Crocker, but I don't see him.

- Weird.

I've had people ignore me

But never say they can't see me.

Oh, well.

Guess what. I've got "f"s for all of you!

[All scream]

Hey, get back in here.

It's no fun passing out "f"s when I can't see you cry.

Where's my reflection?

[Screams]

I'm invisible.

No wonder mother freaked out

When I hugged her good night.

What did you do to me, turner?

I'm pretty sure you and your fairies were behind this.

Well, the joke's on you.

Now I can capture your fairies, and you won't see me coming.

[Cackles]

- [Screams]

- [Cackles]

[Screams] [horn blows]

Who rerouted the train to the hallway?

- [Screams]

Guys, you didn't make mr. Crocker disappear.

You just made him invisible.

- Well, you know what they say,

"When the cat's away, the mice will play."

- What does that have to do with anything?

- I don't know, timmy.

You'd have to ask the people who say that.

Or the mice.

You can't ask the cat

'Cause he's away.

- [Grunts]

Okay, that should keep mr. Crocker out.

Now I can make a wish to turn him back to normal.

- Oh, sorry, timmy, but according to the rules,

Fairy magic doesn't work on invisible teachers.

- Say what now?

- Wanda's right.

It also doesn't work on sleeping clowns,

French new wave filmmakers,

And people who wear clear glasses as a fashion statement.

Of course, nothing works on them.

They're a lost cause.

- In order for our magic to work,

We have to be able to see mr. Crocker.

- Then I know just what to do.

In the meantime, I can't risk mr. Crocker seeing you guys.

So hide in the fish bowl.

- Great idea, timmy.

No one will be able to see us in a clear, glass bowl.

- Oh, delicious, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets.

These are so much better than chicken-shaped dinosaur nuggets.

- Please drop one, please drop one.

- [Chuckles]

Now to find turner's fairies!

[Sniffs] ooh, chicken nuggets.

Mother never lets me have those.

Not because they're high in cholesterol,

But because she's the enemy of joy!

[Laughing]

- [Confused grunt]

- [Chomping]

- Oh, no.

My house is haunted by a poultrygeist.

- Please drop one. Please drop one.

- [Gasps] you can talk?

- No, you're just hysterical from having seen a ghost.

- Well, I don't know about hysterical,

But I have been known to tell an amusing anecdote now and then.

- Boo! I'm a thirsty poultrygeist.

Give me root beer, which mother also never lets me have.

- Whatever you say, mr. Ghost.

- Oh, glorious root beer!

Fizzy, caramel-colored joy in a can.

[Gulps and belches]

- You're weird, mr. Ghost.

I'm guessing not a lot of people miss you.

- Okay, guys, have your wands ready.

I'm gonna spill paint onto mr. Crocker to make him visible.

Boy, I really, really hope mr. Crocker

Doesn't catch me talking to my fairies.

- Need some help, timmy?

- [Yelps] - [chomping]

Timmy, I brought you some tasmanian deviled eggs.

Fun fact: in tasmania,

Tasmanian food is just called "food."

- Okay, this plan has to work.

All I need is for mr. Crocker to take the bait.

When he goes for those cardboard cutouts of you guys,

He'll trip on this rope

And fall into the mud pit I hid under those leaves.

- Um, which cutout is me?

- The one on the left.

- That looks like poof.

- The one on the right is poof.

- Really? I thought that was me.

- Oh, come on!

- Don't worry, timmy.

For emergencies like this,

We always carry cardboard cutouts of ourselves.

- Fine.

I'll use these.

[Screams]

- ♪ I hope I got the fairies ♪

♪ I hope I got the fairies

[Humming]

[Yelps]

Ha, I got the fairies!

Hmm, they're a lot flatter than I thought they'd be.

Grant my every wish! [Groans]

Stop staring at me with those blank, dead eyes.

- Okay, sparky, I built an altar of ceremonial dipping sauces

To appease the poultrygeist.

But first, let's do a taste test.

Mmm, delicious.

Forget the ghost.

I'm not sharing.

- Please drop one. Please drop one.

- Guys, this isn't working.

I have to figure out another way to make mr. Crocker visible

Before he finds you.

- [Cackles] - what? No!

- Busted, turner!

When those fake fairies gave me a paper cut,

I realized I'd been had.

Then I saw you talking to your fishbowl

And concluded one thing.

Your fairies are in there!

Probably hiding behind those stupid fish.

- Give me back my fish, you invisible nut job!

- Nice try.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna throw this fish bowl into my crock duster.

- Oh, no.

I gotta get my fairies back.

- [Cackles] - [yelps]

What happened to you?

- Uh, your dad may or may not have dropped some dipping sauce

When I may or may not have pounced on him

To get some chicken nuggets.

- Ugh, that sauce is so sticky.

Wait, that's it!

I think I know how to make mr. Crocker visible.

- Great.

You know how to make a large diet soda?

I'm kinda parched from the chicken nuggets

That I didn't steal.

- At last, you fairies are mine!

Soon I'll have your magical power

In a manly powder puff form.

[Cackles]

[All scream]

- Wow, mr. Crocker should be a ventriloquist,

'Cause when he talks, I can't see his lips move.

- [Cackles]

[Sniffs] mmm.

More mouthwatering chicken nuggets.

Oh, maybe I'll have one last bite

Before you fairies bite the dust, literally!

Ooh, these are shaped like little stars.

Mother never lets me look at the stars either.

She's afraid I might wish upon one!

[Grunts]

[Screams]

- Guys, now!

I wish mr. Crocker was visible again.

- [Screams]

- [Yelps]

I can see the poultrygeist.

Now I can finally use my ghost chicken bat!

I also played baseball for the dimmsdale ghost chickens.

Go, chickens!

Cockadoodleboo!

- [Screams] leave my egg sack alone!

[b*ating and screaming]

[Bell rings]

- I may not be looking forward

To seeing mr. Crocker again,

But at least I still get to see you guys.

- Sorry I'm late.

No point in getting dressed anymore

When you're invisible.

- [Screams] make it stop!

Phew.

[All scream]

- Wait, you can see me?

[Yelps] I'm visible again.

No wonder mother screamed when I hugged her last night.

[Screams]

[Grunts]

Who rerouted the dimmsdale through the hallway?

- Fun fact, timmy: in dimmsdale, the dimmsdale

Is just called the .

Ask the cat. He's back.

- [Meows]

- Not the egg sack!