10x01 - The Big Fairy Share Scare!

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[whimsical music]

♪

[school bell rings]

- Time for school.

And with my awesome, high-tech Timmy suit,

I can goof off in Mr. Crocker's class

and look like the perfect student.

- Sport, wouldn't it be smarter

just to listen and actually learn something?

[laughter]

- Oh, please, Wanda.

Timmy's way too cool to be smart.

Worm!

[beeps]

- Timmy suit running system check.

Standard school responses. Good morning, Mr. Crocker.

Mississippi. M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.

A potato bug has eyes.

[beeps]

- Yes! A "Catman" marathon.

Now I can watch TV while my suit does all the work.

- Ooh, Timmy's robot ear is a perfect place to build a nest.

- Cosmo, you hit the awkward grade school dance button!

- [grunting]

[screaming]

- Wow, this went bad fast.

- Good morning, Mr. Crocker.

- Well it was, but it's ruined now because you're here, Turner.

- A potato bug has eyes. Cabbage patch.

Shopping cart. Hokey Pokey.

- I don't have time for your nutsy dance fever

right now, Turner. Because...

Live from Dimmsdale, it's "The Denzel Crocker Show!"

Featuring Mother's band, The Never Satisfied Five.

- You could have been a doctor.

- And you could have been a lot more patient.

Get it? Doctor, patient.

That's talk show humor.

Anyhoo, it's time to introduce a brand new student.

She's brilliant, motivated,

and won the Nobel Prize for niceness.

In other words, she's the polar opposite of Timmy Turner.

- M-I-S-S-I-S-S -I-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P

- Right on cue, Turner.

Please give it up for the new gal.

- Thank you, Mr. Crocker,

but I think the crown's a little over the top.

- Oh, nothing's too good for the little lass who saved the world

from a horrifying monster created by radiation.

Roll the clip, Mother.

[screaming]

- [roaring]

[roars]

Man.

You took the pain away.

- All you need now is a hug.

It's okay, Mr. Radiation Monster.

I accept you for who you are:

a foul-smelling thing that crawled out of the bay

to destroy our city.

- [sobs]

You really get me.

[cries]

- Without further ado, I give you the perfect human,

Chloe Carmichael.

- Hi, everyone. That was just some stuff I did. No big deal.

I'll just take my seat now.

- Don't sit too close to Turner.

His astounding lameness may rub off on you.

- [yelps]

- Oxygen level dropping.

- Timmy suit, worst idea ever.

- Eject. Eject.

- Aah, it's the ultimate nightmare scenario.

Turner's multiplying.

- Okay, nothing to see here. Moving on.

- I'm sorry, Mr. President.

I'm in class and I can't talk right now.

Oh, don't cry. I'll call you during nutrition break.

- I have to say, that Chloe is pretty impressive.

- Yeah, she's pretty sharp.

Speaking of sharp, my point's a little dull.

[sharpener runs] [screams]

- Chloe's making the rest of us look like losers.

I am not a fan, and believe me, no one else is either.

- Mr. Crocker, I just checked the school calendar

and it's a parent-teacher conference day,

so we shouldn't even really be here.

[cheering]

- Class dismissed. This is fantastic. I hate school.

all: We love Chloe! We love Chloe!

- Hey, everyone.

You want to come over to my house

and see my exotic animals I rescued from poachers?

I've got lemon squares and gift certificates for everybody.

[cheering]

- Oh, let 'em go. Who cares?

'Cause I've still got something Chloe doesn't have--

my fairies.

- You got that right, Timmy.

See ya later. Gift certificates are my jam.

Especially the ones for jam.

- Oh, I'll stay with you, Sport.

- No way, Wanda. You're good for an extra gift certificate.

- I brought you an apple, Mr. Crocker.

- Aah! Apples hurt.

Finally, I'm home.

A place where I don't have to hear about

how everyone loves Chloe.

- Oooh, I love Chloe! I love Chloe!

- You gotta be kidding. How do you even know her?

- She gave me a stock tip and now I'm filthy rich.

- Give me a break, Dad.

- Call me Filthy.

- Hi, Timmy. Hi, Filthy.

[harp plays]

- Mom? - Are you crazy, Timmy?

This beautiful woman is not your mother.

- It is me, dear.

Chloe gave me a gift certificate for a makeover.

Do you like my new look?

- Yes, I do. But don't tell my wife.

- I am your wife.

- Be gone, you evil temptress. You're giving me the tingles.

- Aw, this day cannot get any worse.

[cheering]

[screams]

- Hey, Timmy, good news. Chloe is our new neighbor.

- Yay, Chloe has a dog with a pocket!

- I'm feeding a peacock!

- Hi, Timmy.

- Ah, this girl is ruining my life!

Stupid door.

- You seem a little tense, Sport. You know what might help?

One of Chloe's delicious lemon squares.

- Oh, why thanks, Wanda.

[grunts]

I never wanna hear

that girl's name again.

- Oh, you mean Chloe?

The wonderful girl who gave me a gift certificate

for my new phone?

Selfie! Duck lips!

- Whatever. I still have one thing she doesn't.

And it's the best thing ever.

Fairies that are all mine.

- Surprise, Timmy Turner.

Your fairies are no longer all yours.

all: What?

- Seriously, what? I wasn't listening.

- Due to overwhelming demand and fairies taking on

better-paying jobs in the fancy candle industry,

there is a fairy god parent shortage.

So now, Turner, you have to share your fairies

with another fairy god kid.

- I have to sh--sh--shoo--

- Spit it out, boy. The word is "share."

- I'm freaking out here!

Just tell me who I have to sh--sh--my fairies with.

- She's super smart, well-behaved,

and won the Nobel Prize for niceness.

- No, no.

- She speaks twelve languages, including Dolphin.

- [dolphin sounds]

[ chatters]

- It's Chloe!

- Nooooo!

- Noooooo!

We're out of lemon squares!

- Nooooo!

[screaming continues]

[panting]

[bell dings]

- Wow, Timmy. That was a -hour scream.

You broke your record for fruitless panic.

- I'm not done. I just stopped to take a breath.

[inhales]

Nooo--unh!

- Get a grip, Turner.

- Don't tell Timmy,

but I'm secretly excited about being Chloe's fairy.

- I am Timmy!

And I don't get it. Everything about Chloe is perfect.

Why does she even need fairies?

- There's a reason for everything, Turner.

Except for fanny packs.

Just have the guts to carry a man purse.

Anyway, becoming a fairy god kid can come as quite a shock.

We had better break the news to Chloe gently.

[lilting piccolo music]

♪

- [gasps]

- Surprise, you've got fairies!

- Aah, stranger danger!

- Ooh, I like this girl. She's got spunk.

And the heel of her foot on my windpipe.

- Okay, this is a dream, right?

But if it is a dream, you wouldn't know,

because you'd just be part of the dream.

And I'd be talking to my imagination.

Which is crazy. Am I crazy?

Or am I dreaming I'm crazy?

- Uh, nope, you're crazy. We're out of here.

Come on, guys.

- You are not dreaming, small spunky girl.

I am Jorgen Von Strangle, head fairy of Fairy World,

here to present you with your very own fairy god parents

to grant you your every wish.

Chloe, meet Wanda and Cosmo.

- I'm Wanda. - I'm Wanda.

Aw, I practiced that, too.

- Whoa, wait. I have fairy god parents?

Excuse me, I need a moment alone.

Yeeeesssss!

Sorry, I went a little cray-cray there, but I'm good now.

One thing. It feels unfair that I have two fairies.

Shouldn't I share them?

- Oh, come on!

- You are sharing them with Turner.

And technically you don't have two fairies.

It's more like a fairy and a half.

- Ooh, I'm the half. Right, Wanda?

- Yes, you are, sweetie. - I knew it!

- You kids figure out how to divvy up your fairies.

I'm off to the hospital to get my windpipe replaced.

- So, Chloe, are you ready to make your first wish?

- First, I just want to say

I'm so excited to meet you guys, and--

- Time's up. My turn!

I wish I was as far away from Chloe as possible.

[growling]

- Where are we?

- Center of the Earth, Timmy.

Realm of the hideous mole people.

It's as far from Chloe as possible.

- It's what you wished for, Timmy.

You're welcome.

Selfie with the mole people!

Duck lips!

Wanda, take another one of me

with the bleached bones of those who came before us.

[growling]

Quick, Wanda, get a sh*t of me and Timmy

as they drag him to the boiling pot.

- [screaming]

Back! Back! Bad mole.

- Here's the evil mole people seasoning Timmy

with a garlic-coriander rub.

And here's my Spanish omelette from yesterday.

- Thanks a lot, guys.

I was almost enslaved by human-rodent hybrids.

- Oh, you think you've got problems.

I blinked in my bleached bones selfie.

- Anyway, I think I know how to handle this sh--sh--shooing.

Chloe, just pick the day when you want the fairies.

- Super! I'll take Friday because there's no homework.

Although, sometimes I do extra credit.

I don't know what I like better,

making wishes or doing extra credit.

Ooh, I just don't know!

- Stop it! Stop it! You called Fridays!

Cosmo, Wanda, I wish there were no such thing as Fridays!

- [cackling]

Timmy Turner! Happy The Day Formerly Known as Friday!

Once again, your careless wishes have set into motion

a chain of events that will result

in the ultimate destruction of Earth!

Evil laugh! Cackle guffaw!

Oh, hello, little girl! We are unacquainted as of yet.

Here, take my card.

- "Foop. Enemy of Fairy World.

"Bringer of woe. Harbinger of doom.

Lose weight. Ask me how."

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Foop?

You spelled "doom" wrong.

- Oh, thank you for pointing that out.

I'll show my gratitude by making sure

you experience a particularly painful death.

Sorry, I'm a little cranky. Got a new tooth coming in.

[cackling]

[screaming]

- How did my one little no-Friday wish

make all this terrible stuff happen?

- Oh, sweet, naive, simple-minded Timmy.

Don't you get it? 'Cause, I don't get it. Wanda?

- Every Friday, the big wand in Fairy World gets recharged

and its power protects Dimmsdale from the anti-fairies.

Now that Fridays don't exist, the wand hasn't been charged.

- You lost me at "every." End of the world selfie!

OMG! Smiley face emoticon.

- [cackles]

All of you, prepare to meet your doom.

And feel the wrath of my baba!

It's filled with chocolate milk...

heated to a million degrees!

[screaming]

- Wanda, Cosmo, you still have some magic left in your wands?

- I've got two bars, Timmy.

But I think I should save them for an emergency.

- I wish Fridays existed again.

- [cackles]

[screaming]

both: Aaah!

- First of all,

let it be Friday again.

all : Yay! TGIF!

- Secondly, Turner,

you need to accept the fact that you're sharing your fairies,

or you can re-visit your little furry friends.

[growling]

- [screams]

Okay, fine, I'll do the thing I can't say.

But I want something to replace my fairies

when they're with Chloe.

I wish for a fairy-bot that will do all the stuff

I don't want to do.

- Boy, that's a whole lot of stuff.

- Just do it!

- Hello, Timmy Turner. I am Fairy-bot.

Would you like me to gently brush your hair?

- What? No, ew. Definitely not.

- Let's go.

Time for your bath.

- Uh, guys?

- Aw, I feel sorry for Timmy. It's so hard for him to share.

I guess sharing's hard for everybody.

[gasps] Ooh, that's a good idea for my first wish.

Ready, guys?

both: Ready, Chloe.

- I wish everyone in Dimmsdale

would share everything.

- Aw, that's lovely, Chloe.

A wish that will make the world a better place.

- [whining]

- Huh, I just got the urge to share my chainsaw.

- Thanks.

[both laugh maniacally]

- Okay, Fairy-bot. I'm clean already.

It's snack time. Give me some pizza.

- Malfunction. Malfunction. Malfunction.

- [screams]

- This is Chet Ubetcha with breaking news.

As if by magic, suddenly everyone in Dimmsdale

is sharing everything.

In other news, this scary man in a hockey mask

wants to share my desk.

Which is okay by me!

- Oh, Timmy.

That foxy she-devil that lives with us now

shared her beauty tips with me.

- And he shared his money.

- Don't tell my wife.

Ooh, I'm so pretty.

I'm giving me the tingles!

- Huh, I've seen my dad in a dress before,

but I've never seen him sh--sh--sh his money.

And I suddenly have the urge to give away all my video games.

Wait! I feel like sh--sh--shooing.

What's happening? Cosmo! Wanda!

Did Chloe make some kind of crazy, goody-two-shoes wish?

- She made a perfectly lovely wish

that everyone would share everything.

- Oh, that can't end well.

[screaming]

- Thanks for sharing your car, Mrs. and Mrs. Turner.

In return, I'd like to share Mother!

I've been blessed with the gift of giving.

- Oh, Denzel.

- [laughs]

- Oh, boy. Chloe really blew it with this wish.

- Preach it, Timmy.

'Cause you never made a wish that went horribly wrong.

- Bath time!

[screaming]

[grunting]

- Enough is enough! I unwish Chloe's wish.

- You can't, Sport.

It's against the rules for a fairy god kid

to unwish another fairy god kid's wish.

- Chloe! Unwish your nut job wish!

- That's a little judgy. It was a good wish.

Everyone's just in sort of a transitional period

while they adjust to the idea of being, you know,

a little less selfish.

[truck beeps]

Hey, that's my house!

That weirdo is stealing my house.

Okay, I admit it. It was a nut job wish.

I should have done a little more thinking before I made it.

- Take it from me, thinking doesn't solve anything.

- Amen, brother.

- Just unwish your wish. - Okay.

Wanda, and Cosmo, I wish everything was back

to the way it was before I made my wish.

- I think I'll share this fire hydrant.

We don't have one on our block.

[screaming]

[growling]

- People of the daylight, prepare to share your bounty!

And your bleached bones!

[screaming]

- Oh, no. It's happening again.

I try to do something good and I end up making a big mess.

- What are you talking about? You're Little Miss Perfect.

- Not exactly, Sport.

Roll the clip.

- It's okay, Mr. Radiation Monster.

I accept you for who you are:

a foul-smelling thing that crawled out of the bay

to destroy our city.

- [sobbing]

You really get me.

And now that my foot is healed, I can destroy the city.

Roar, man!

- See? I try too hard to fix things

and I end up annoying people, destroying cities,

and then no one wants to be my friend.

- Oh, come on. That's not true.

- Really? Do you want to be my friend?

- Uh, sure.

- That's not what you told me, Timmy. Roll the clip.

- I will never be Chloe's friend.

- [humming]

- I was talking about a different Chloe.

Uh, Chloe Van...notyouwitz.

Anyway, sorry I hurt your feelings.

And I understand why you have fairies now.

Your life isn't so perfect after all.

- [laughs] I can be kind of a train wreck.

You know, sometimes I just want to be a regular, average kid.

Maybe then people would understand me.

- Well, I am just an average kid that no one understands.

[growling] [all scream]

- Help! - Gotcha.

- Wow, Timmy. You saved me. That was so brave.

- Well, I am kind of a hero. Nothing scares me.

- I brought you an apple, Mr. Crocker.

- Aah, I'm scared!

- Ooh, ohh, I'm coming, Timmy.

Boy, that's a long way down.

I better energize myself with a healthy snack.

Ooh, kale's a super food.

- Still falling!

Aah!

[weeping]

- Don't cry, Timmy. I've got you.

- I'm not crying. Someone must be peeling an onion down here.

- Come on, Timmy. Hop on my back and I'll rappel us back up.

[screaming]

[growling]

Cosmo! Wanda!

To reiterate, I wish everything was back to the way it was

before I made my wish.

[growling]

- We went too far back!

- My bad. You really gotta spell things out with me.

Remember, I'm the half.

- Okay, here's the deal.

I wish everything was back to the way it was

just before I made my wish.

- Oh, Timmy!

Good news. This foxy siren is actually your mother.

I know! I didn't believe iteither.

- Really, Dad? How'd you figure it out?

- I made him lunch.

- And it was so uniquely terrible

that I knew it had to be her.

Oh, I'm so happy she's back.

[sobbing]

Oh, my mascara's running. I'm a piping hot mess.

- You know what? I think I'm officially done with wishes.

You can have your fairies back, Timmy.

- Don't tell Timmy, but I'm secretly disappointed.

- I am Timmy.

And there's no reason to be disappointed.

Because of your wish, Chloe, I had a pretty exciting day.

And from now on I'm actually going to sh--sh--share

my fairies with you.

- Really?

Excuse me, I need a moment alone.

Yeeessss!

Okay, I'm good now. [giggles]

Timmy, we could be BFFs.

We can hang out, do homework, community service!

Ooh, community service really gets me jazzed.

- Okay, tap the brakes a little, Chloe.

- BFF selfie. Duck lips!

- Photo b*mb. Quack!

Hey, who bought this fancy candle?

[upbeat jazz music]

♪

- ♪ Billionfold! - Inc.

- Frederator!