10x05 - A Sash and a Rash/Fish Out of Water

[bunniefuu]

[jazzy music]

- ♪ Timmy's still an average kid ♪

♪ That no one understands

♪ Chloe's his new neighbor

♪ And she's ruining all his plans ♪

- Aah!

- ♪ All the wishes

♪ In the world

♪ So why should he care?

♪ Jorgen has reported there's a fairy shortage ♪

♪ So Timmy has to share

♪ His OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

- More than one? - This should be fun!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Feather suit, nature boots, laser sh**ting, rescue ♪

- World peace, kale treats,

bunny feet, real neat!

- What? No! Leave me alone!

My fairies! Get your own!

- ♪ OddParents, fairly OddParents ♪

♪ Timmy, beware, you'll have to share ♪

♪ Your fairly OddParents

- Yeah, right!

[jazzy music]

♪♪

[bell ringing]

- Attention, dimwits!

And the winner of the annual Dimmsdale Person

of the Year Award is... Timmy Turner!

- Really?

- Psych! It's Chloe Carmichael!

Get real, Turner!

Darn! I thought it would be me!

- You're not even a person! You're an eraser!

- Erasers rule! No, wait, that's rulers.

- Turner, tell your school supplies to put a sock in it!

Anyhoo, here to present the award to Chloe

as the Mayor of Dimmsdale!

Psych! [goat bleats]

It's actually the Mayor's curious live-in companion,

Chompy the Goat!

- Thank you, Mr. Crocker and Mr. Goat.

I'm honored, but all I did was a few good deeds.

Anyone here could have won this award.

- Get real, lady friend!

None of these other stooges are sash-worthy.

Your presence in this class is the one thing

that keeps me from crossing the line

and becoming pure evil.

- I thought you were already pure evil.

- No, no, I'm just phoning it in.

[grunts] Give me that sash!

Gah! I got your goat, goat!

See what I did there? Gah!

I'm not paying for this.

[bell ringing]

- Oh, dear Chloe, you have a little bit of a rash.

- I get rashes because I'm allergic to peaches.

Still, I love rolling in peaches.

Life's funny that way.

- Chloe, you should see Nurse Quack.

She makes duck sounds and pecks at bread crumbs,

but she can get you out of gym.

- Oh, I don't have time!

I'm Person of the Year!

People are counting on me!

I have to hug feral cats at the shelter,

help old people cross the street,

teach clowns to be funny, not scary,

'cause their makeup can be off-putting to the children,

feed the ravenous hyenas that lurk on the outskirts of town,

and do it all during lunch break,

so no nurse!

Ah!

[growling]

♪

[horns honking]

all: Thank you, Chloe.

[circus music]

♪♪

[crying]

[crying]

[laughing]

- Ha ha!

[growling]

[cat hisses]

[cat purring]

[growling]

[cats purring]

[jazzy music]

- Help, Chloe!

- I saw the signal, Mr. Turner.

What is it today?

- Chloe, I bought this nuclear submarine form the Russians,

and it's gone kaputin!

Also, can you tell me why this sub is flashing

this sign that says, "pasta nose"?

- That says "opasnost"!

It's Russian for "danger"!

- That's a shame.

I really wanted to try nose pasta.

- You're having a meltdown!

- No, no, I'm just a little disappointed.

A hot bath and some dark chocolate and I'll be fine.

[suspenseful music]

[device beeps and buzzes]

[triumphant music]

- Good deeds done!

Itchy, itchy, itchy, itchy!

Time for Nurse Quack!

[screams] - Quack!

- If I didn't know any better,

I'd say someone was riding a bike up the stairs.

But what kind of lunatic would do that?

- I went to Nurse Quack!

- What did she say?

- She said my rash is from stress!

Then she said, "quack, quack,"

and laid an egg.

I think she's really a duck,

which kind of stresses me out!

- You know what I do when I'm stressed out?

Roll in peaches. Man, I'm itchy!

- I'm stressed that I have a stress rash,

which is stressing me out more,

which is making my rash worse,

which is stressing me out more, which is--

[air horn blares]

- Chill out, stressy-mick-stresserton.

It's time for me to share some wisdom with you.

- You have wisdom?

You've been holding back.

I want the wisdom. Give me the wisdom!

- I'm gonna school you in the art of slacking off.

- He is the master.

He would have been on the cover of "Slacker Magazine"

if he'd bothered to show up for the picture.

- Chloe, it's time for you to stop saving the world,

start stuffing your face with snacks,

and join me in a game of "Smack-a-Mole."

- I am not playing that mind rot.

- Then scratch on, girlfriend.

- Chloe, your rash is spreading.

You look like a strawberry with hair.

- Okay, how do I play?

- Well, the name "Smack-a-Mole" says it all.

There's a guy who grows moles on his face

and then you smack them off!

- Oh, dear, that guys should really see a dermatologist.

- Just play!

- Oh! I got one! And another one!

This is kind of fun! Take that, moles!

And that and this and that!

Hey, what's the high score on this game?

I want to be the best.

The best ever! I am so winning!

And so incredibly itchy!

[screams]

[air horn blares]

- No offense, Chloe, but worst slacker ever!

- Help me.

- There's only one way to fix your problem:

you got to take the slacker way out and wish to be a slacker.

- To be honest, wishing to be a slacker

kind of stresses me--

okay, here it goes.

I wish to be the biggest slacker ever!

Dude, so chill.

- Wassup, slacka?

- S'uuuup? Heh.

- Hey, Chloe. You ready for schoo--

what?

[slow jazzy music]

Whoa, Chloe!

Looks like a photo sh**t for the next cover

of "Slacker Magazine."

- Chloe is a total slacker,

but at least her rash is gone! - [grunts]

- I think that was a "bacon" grunt.

- [grunts] - That was just a "grunt" grunt.

- So you need a few minutes to get ready for school?

- [grunts]

- That was an "I am never, ever, ever going back to school,

I'm out, drops mic" grunt,

followed by a "juice-box" grunt.

- Okay, whatevs. So where's your homework?

I need to copy it. - [grunts]

- She said, "Ha, like I did my homework. LOL."

- Okay, well, I'm not LOL-ing.

I need that homework to keep up my D average!

- [grunts] - Ooh!

I don't feel comfortable repeating that one, Chloe.

That is some pretty salty language.

- [groans]

[bell ringing]

- Ah, the daily parade of dullards, dopes, and dimwits.

Where's my Chloe?

My little sparkle of hope that keeps me from going

full-metal cuckoo!

- FYI: Chloe's never coming back to school.

[dramatic music]

- Eeh! Gah! No Chloe?

That's the last straw! Really!

I'm out of straws!

And it's super hard for me to drink out of a cup

with my weird-shaped mouth.

This takes the cake.

Really, I had some cake and now it's gone!

I am at the end of my rope!

I could have sworn I had more rope than this!

Gah! Chloe!

[eerie music]

[screaming]

♪

- [screams]

It's a hunchback of Dimmsdale!

- Aah!

[grunting] That was anti-climactic!

[straining]

Gah! Who locked this?

- Well, things can't get much freakier than that.

- Chet Ubetcha with breaking news.

Things are about to get much freakier!

[screaming]

Scary clowns are chasing children!

[screaming]

[growling]

In related news,

a pack of ravenous hyenas are now chasing the scary clowns

who are still chasing the children!

- Okay, now things really can't get much freakier.

- Nose pasta!

Move, silly old people!

I have a class- Russian submarine that's about to blow!

- And this just in.

A pack of angry, un-hugged feral cats

has gone wild and turned into a whirling cat-nado!

Dimmsdale is in total chaos!

Who's responsible?

- Chloe!

all: Chloe!

- Chloe!

Ooh! What do you know? The school has a bell tower.

[bell ringing]

- Chloe!

Chloe, you know all those good deeds you used to do

that you don't do anymore?

You need to do them again!

- Chloe, without you, the clowns are scary,

the hyenas are hungry, the old people are stranded,

Timmy's dad is about to blow up the world,

and the shelter cats have formed a cat-nado!

- Chloe, you have to un-wish your slacker wish,

and go back to being the nutsy, stressed-out, do-gooder

you used to be! - [grunts]

- I believe that was a "you deal with it,

so I can take a nap" grunt.

- Wait a minute!

I'm itchy, and I'm getting a rash!

Chloe didn't get a rash from being stressed out.

She got it from this sash,

which is covered in goat fleas from Chompy.

She's got a sash rash!

- Dimmsdale needs you, Chloe.

Un-wish your wish! - [grunts]

- That counts!

[cats yowling]

[screaming]

- Forget it, Chloe!

That cat-nado is even too big for a nutsy, stressed-out,

do-gooder like you to stop!

Wanda! Cosmo!

I wish the cat-nado was gone!

- Good thought. Bad execution.

- I'm so not a cat person!

- So that happened. Nice knowing you, Chloe.

- I'm not Person of the Year for nothing, Timmy!

I'm going in!

[screams and grunts]

Hug-hug, pet-pet, good kitty, nice kitty...

calm down.

- [screams]

[cats meowing and purring]

[growling]

[upbeat music]

♪

all: Thank you.

[beeping]

[chimes and beeping stops]

- Yay, Chloe!

You saved Dimmsdale from total destruction.

On a sad note, I never got to try nose pasta.

[laughs] Ew!

Little nose-shaped macaronis!

That's just wrong!

- [growling]

- It's okay, Mr. Crocker.

I'm back to my old self.

You don't have to be hideous anymore.

- [screams] Hello.

- Still kinda hideous.

- Whoopee!

Chloe is back and I found a free steak in a pile of cat fur!

Best day ever! Ah! Why?

- You know, Chloe, you inspired me.

I'm gonna get off my butt and show up for the cover sh**t

of "Slacker Magazine."

[camera shutter clicks]

[hyenas growling] - [screaming]

I am so not a hyena person!

- Nose pasta, weird!

[jazzy music]

♪♪

- Ooh, Wanda!

You made me bacon and eggs

with a side order of rusty hook.

Keeping the marriage interesting!

- You're saying words that don't mean anything again!

- Timmy!

I'm trying to prove your mother wrong

that I am too smarter than a fish.

- [screams] Guys! Code seven!

- On it, Timmy!

- I was right about the fish thing.

- Oh, please!

How could I possibly have been prepared for a code seven?

- Dad, what are you doing?

- Recovering from a tiny expl*si*n, duh.

I'm practicing for the Dimmsdale Fishing Tournament.

I'm finally gonna win that big, shiny trophy

by catching the Juan that got away.

- Uh, don't you mean the "one" that got away?

- No, I mean Juan, the giant Spanish Mackerel

that's eluded me all these years!

As seen in these stupid fishermen bloopers

on the interweb.

♪

[grunting]

♪

[yelps]

♪

And that's how I got the metal plate in my head.

- What makes you think you're gonna catch Juan this year?

- That devil with scales.

I'll catch him because I bought a super high-tech fishing boat

so big that I named it the "Titanic"!

- Dad, the "Titanic" sank in the ocean.

- No, it didn't.

It's right there in the driveway.

[rock music]

- Awesome boat!

- It has a talking fish finder,

fish-seeking missiles,

and hand towels that say "Dad's Boat."

But don't use them! They're for guests!

- No problem, Dad.

I never wash my hands anyway.

And count me in for the fishing tournament.

Together, we're gonna catch Juan!

- Which one? Oh!

[upbeat music]

♪

- Ooh, I love youso much.

- Aw, thanks, Dad.

- I was talking to the trophy.

So big and shiny!

I've already cleared my wedding pictures

off the mantel to make a place for it!

- Uh, Cosmo, why are you in fish form

at a fishing tournament? It's dangerous!

- I make bad choices, Timmy.

It's kind of my thang, yo.

Think about it,

I almost ate eggs off a hook this morning.

- Welcome to the Annual Dimmsdale Fishing Tournament,

a celebration of the most boring sport on Earth.

[cheering]

Let's get this snooze-fest started.

Count it down with me, Chompy.

Three, two--

- Stop!

- Chompy said, "Stop!"

I told you all he could talk!

But you called me a nut job!

- It was me!

Fishermen of Dimmsdale,

you mustn't go through with this barbaric ritual.

Fishing is mean!

- Oh, boy! It's Chloe k*ll-Joy.

You know what's mean?

Keeping me off my dad's super awesome boat!

- Sorry, Timmy.

Every living creature, no matter how slimy

or foul-smelling,

has the right to thrive and live out its life

without the thr*at of being harmed.

- You tell 'em!

Uh, the girl said that!

There's no such thing as a talking megaphone!

- Take this woodpecker for instance.

I would never harm it,

despite the fact that it's causing me excruciating pain.

If you look into your hearts,

I know you'll find a similar compassion for the fish.

- [blows conch shell horn] To the lake!

[yelps]

- Woo-hoo!

Cosmo, look at all the cool, shiny buttons!

- Press the red one. That's always a bad choice.

[beeps]

- Uh, Dad, I just accidentally fired a m*ssile.

- Oh, don't worry. We've got five more.

Activating Fish Finder!

[beeps]

Fish Finder, find Juan.

- Which one?

- No, Juan!

- No one? How can I find no one?

- I've got a m*ssile with your name on it,

you stinking Fish Finder!

- Hey, look!

- It's Juan! Activate Fish Magnet!

[triumphant music]

♪

[magnet humming]

Yes! I caught him!

The trophy's mine!

[suspenseful music]

♪

Mmm-puh!

♪

[grunts]

Curse you, metal plates in my head!

- Oh, no!

Timmy's dad has caught a poor, helpless fish.

Wanda, I wish the fish could fight back!

[heroic music]

- Hola, Juan!

I'm gonna turn you into fish sticks

and eat you out of my big, shiny trophy.

- I do not think so, Señor Dad.

Because now the shoe is on the other foot,

as you creatures with feet might say.

- I got punched by a talking fish!

[screams and grunts]

- Launching missiles.

- Fishing is awesome! [crowd screaming]

[dramatic music]

- [screams]

- [screaming]

- Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

- Wait a minute.

Fish can't talk and punch people!

Unless... Chloe!

- Holy Mackerel, Timmy!

Something's fishy! Looks like you're floundering.

Ooh! I love fish puns!

- [screams]

- Mi amigo! Little bowl-bound brother,

the revolution has begun.

Join me in my fight against the feet creatures.

- That sounds like a terrible choice.

I'm in! Viva la Revolución, Timmy!

- Ha, Timmy!

You got schooled.

As in a school of fish. You get it?

Fish puns!

- Un-wish your stupid wish!

I want to go back on that awesome boat.

It had missiles!

- Absolutely not!

I'm sure that the fishermen have learned their lesson,

and man and fishkind can now coexist in perfect harmony.

- [blows conch shell horn]

I declare w*r on all fishkind!

Especially Juan!

Ooh! What's this blue button do?

[alarm buzzes] [screams]

[cheering]

[upbeat Latin music]

♪♪

- We have driven the feet creatures from our land,

which is actually water.

You know what I mean.

[cheering]

- I have no idea you what you mean,

but I've been thinking.

Rather than live here in peace and harmony,

why don't we bump this revolution up a notch,

and take the fight to the feet creatures?

[cheering]

- My gifted dance partner is right.

We will destroy their city and drive them from their homes.

And you, my little fish friend,

will lead us!

[cheering]

- I'll do it!

Oh! This could be my worst choice ever!

- Got to practice casting for tomorrow, Timmy.

- Well, we've caught all the furniture.

I'm gonna go push some buttons on the boat!

[knock at door]

- Ah!

- I challenge you to a duel, Señor Dad.

- And I challenge you to catch me!

I'm being chased by a talking fish!

Why do we have stairs like this?

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

♪

[cheering]

♪

- Boy, leading a fish revolution really works up an appetite.

Ooh! A delicious fish stick!

[chomping]

[gasps]

Don't tell me. Fish sticks have fish in them?

I have outdone myself!

This is the worst choice in history!

[growling]

[screams]

- I feel honored that the birdies used my hair

to make their nest.

By protecting the animals of Dimmsdale,

I've made the world a better place.

all: Viva la Revolución!

[screaming]

[growling]

[both scream]

- Chloe! Un-wish your fish wish!

- Oh, if I do, the fish will be in danger.

But if I don't, Dimmsdale will be destroyed!

There's no answer!

And I'm not good when there's no answer!

- Well, I guess it's up to me.

Oh, I hate when it's up to me.

- Yeah, we're not too happy about it either, Timmy.

- I know! We'll call a truce,

and let the fish and fishermen talk it out.

What? It's not the worst idea in the world.

[all straining]

What do you know?

It was the worst idea in the world.

- I will not back down, Señor Dad, until you

and the other feet creatures stop fishing in my home,

which is actually a public lake.

You know what I mean!

- I have no idea what you mean,

but I will not stop fishing until I catch you

and get that shiny trophy!

Aha! I caught him!

Give me the trophy!

[yelps]

[both grunting]

- Wait! I have a plan.

We've been trying to give everybody what they want,

but maybe the solution is giving them what they want

by not giving them what they want.

- Spoken like someone who's been pecked on the head

by a woodpecker.

- Fellow feet creatures,

revere me as I win that shiny trophy

by catching Juan!

- Which one?

[circuitry sizzling]

- I'm taking back our public lake!

[cheering]

- [straining]

Huzzah! I caught Juan!

[cheering]

[triumphant music]

- [chomps and growls]

[screaming]

- Ah-ptooey! - [grunts]

Thanks for not chewing, you revolting bottom feeder.

- Thanks for not really hooking me,

you evolutionary catastrophe.

- I won the trophy, Timmy!

I like myself!

Ooh, what's this green button do?

[alarm buzzing]

Why do I even have this?

- Your plan worked!

Dad got his trophy,

and Juan scared the fishermen away for good.

- You see, Timmy?

Creatures of the planet can live together in perfect harmony.

Don't even think about it, woodpecker!

- You know what I mean!

[jazzy music]

♪

- Frederator!